20 Years 

20 Years 

We were taking fire, and we were cut off from any support, we two trucks were alone, against the city. Any notion I had of being there to make a difference disappeared in an instant. When the bullet ricocheted off my door next to my head, I knew we were in trouble. That was the first miracle. There would be many more miracles to come. The RPG wouldn’t get fired, because of a well aimed .50 cal volley. The IED’s wouldn’t breach the cab. The second, third, and fourth RPG wouldn’t make direct contact with the truck. Neither gunner would be hit. The truck which tried to block our way would be an annoyance more than a hinderance, and both in the truck would meet Jesus that day. Along with the truck driver, and his friend, more would meet Jesus that day, by our hands. The gunner on my truck would have to abandon clearing the jam on the Mk-19 and use him M-16. Nearly going black on ammo, he never stopped returning fire with his small rifle. The final miracle would be my truck, which had lost all its fluids except gas. When I removed my foot from the pedal the truck died and wouldn’t start for nearly 6 weeks. There was so much damage to the engine from bullets it would take weeks to repair. 

         It’s an odd thing surviving such a well laid out trap. We walked right into it, and yet, we survived and many of them did not. While direct contact like that would be rare for our platoon, it was something I wouldn’t easily forget. I would also not forget the feeling I had during the attack. The bullet hit my door and both hands flung to the wheel. A calm rested upon me, and as chaos erupted inside the cab, I was at ease. Screaming, and bullets flying, along with explosions, and that young 20-year-old was not phased, not till the truck died and we were back with the other trucks. Once the truck died that’s when the peace I felt went away revealing the terrified, and very shook, kid. Was that the Holy Spirit resting upon me? I believe now, it was. I believe God sent a circle of protection around us, and saw us out to safety. Nothing else explains how we survived. When the insurgent had us dead to right and yet the gunner in the truck ahead of us made an impossible shot. Or the RPG that somehow flew just overhead, but close enough to sever the antenna of the truck in front of us. Or the other RPG that just barely missed either truck, but close enough to explode taking out my front right tire. How were they unable to stop either vehicle even when they blocked the path with a pickup truck. God was with us, protecting us. 

While I am aware that this following verse is for Israel, not for a small scout unit, I believe in my heart, this is what we experienced.

Deuteronomy 20:1-4 20 “When you go out to battle against your enemies and see horses and chariots and people more numerous than you, do not be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, who brought you up from the land of Egypt, is with you. 2 When you are approaching the battle, the priest shall come near and speak to the people. 3 He shall say to them, ‘Hear, O Israel, you are approaching the battle against your enemies today. Do not be fainthearted. Do not be afraid, or panic, or tremble before them, 4 for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you.’

I cannot say what our odds were of survival, but it was not in our favor. And other than modern technology of our armored trucks, we still had little odds of both trucks making it out that day. What are the odds that not one of us would get hurt, not even the gunners? No, I say the Lord was with us, and his protection rested upon us, his Spirit guided me and kept me calm. We were not just lucky, we were blessed. 

2 Corinthians 10:3-4 3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, 4 for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses.

I march in the battle with the sword raised high. I’m still a soldier today, fighting a new enemy. The fight, the war for not our lives, but our souls. I’m a soldier, ready to deploy, all of my enemies, they tremble at the name of my general. I fought for the Red, White, and the Blue, and nearly died there. I lost part of myself in the hot desert, but the Lord of all found me broken and pieced me back together for a greater purpose. I fight for Him, I fight for a purpose greater than any on this earth. I fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. I fight for those who don’t know him, that they may have a chance. I fight and if necessary pay the ultimate price, to share one name, one single name above all names, my Lord, my Savior, Jesus Christ. If you knew him, you’d understand. See, He, the Lord of all, paid the ultimate price for you and me. Jesus laid down his life so we would know he was and is Lord. 

Fallen Soldiers, we stand on your shoulders. How many have died for us to know the name of Christ today. How many have died to have the Bible in English. The church is built on the blood of others. Starting first with Christ and his Apostles, and thousands of others. Even now brothers and sisters in Nigeria are shedding their blood for their faith. We must stand together, and stand tall, ready yourselves, and may we continue to sing praises for our savior. Let us lift up the name of Jesus so the darkness itself cries out in fear. 

It’s been twenty years since I saw evil face to face on the battlefield. But for me the battle isn’t over. My enemy is both the same and different, as it is against the father of lies, and his myriad of demons. While the projectiles that come my way are no longer bullets, bombs, or rockets, I am still under constant spiritual attack. While I survived the battle, only to come home to a foreign place. I recall it took me six months to find a job, and to do that I was forced to rely on a temp agency. The only work I could find was very difficult manual labor. It wasn’t even skilled work. In the years that followed, it seemed the best I had to offer was not worth much. 

One afternoon working my post I was flagged down by some students at the university I worked at. A student was going into anaphylactic shock. He ingested a cookie with something he was allergic too. I took off running down the hall as fast as I could to my bag. I grabbed my epinephrin pen and ran back, to quickly administer the life saving injection. Not long after the paramedics arrived and took over. In less than six months I had been given officer of the year for the district, which covered thousands of officers. I worked for the company for six years, but in my time of need, I was let go, forgotten like yesterday’s trash. Is that all I was, all that time? Just a body filling a space? Over the next couple years I would move into a more skilled position. Sadly, that position, although I loved it, would be marred by conflict. Eventually I would be injured on the job and during my recovery I would not hear from the company at all. All the talk about being a family, the company being more than a job, and yet once I was injured, that family was nowhere to be seen. Again, is that all I was, just a warm body filling a vacant position? 

Truth be told, in recent years I have struggled with the concept of relevance. While I don’t strictly have an answer for this, I am doing my best, to do my best. It hasn’t been an easy few years. Going from working to early medical retirement. As my body degrades and the cost of doing just about anything becomes more costly, I find it difficult to navigate the slew of emotions that are left behind. My desire to serve remains, but it seems the use for what I have to offer is lacking. Being retired is fun, being retired with no money is just boring. I have dreams and things I’d like to do, but the reality is without funds, most of it doesn’t get done. I have things I’d like to do, but ultimately it comes to this, what does God want me to do? In 2016, God spared my life, and saved me. Now, I’m living my life, trying to serve Him, and do the best I can. I keep searching for some grand plan He has for me, but now eight years later, I still don’t know His plan. While, I am waiting to hear from God on what my purpose is, I continue to write, and teach from behind this keyboard. I continue to bring the word to anyone who would listen from my podcast. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV3r024gS2FRDIbpqnsDwWA

Living with chronic pain is not an easy journey. Often confused with pain from old age, this is not that. As I said, it’s been 20 years. It surprises me what we were willing to put our bodies through in the service of our country. I served in a time when patriotism was still high from the 9/11 attacks. I wouldn’t trade my service for anything though. Do I pay for it now? Sure I do, my body often struggles with just basic tasks, and seeing as if I’m only 40 years old, it’s a challenge. Life isn’t an easy road, and when you add in the life of a Christian, it adds significant challenge. We must face the reality of where we find ourselves, and not get stuck. While I don’t know what God wants from me, nor where am I intended to be, all I can do is serve the best I can one day at a time. Perhaps that’s all we can ever truly do. As scripture said, worry not for tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry for itself. Maybe the lesson to be gleaned is this, do the best you can today, with what you’ve been given. While I’m sure there is always a bigger picture, we have opportunities today. I guess the saying is true, ‘Today needs you, tomorrow can wait.’ Twenty years ago I survived, and although I can still see it clearly, I must remain focused on the needs of this day. Faith is what I live by today, and it’s that faith that tells me to keep going, keep pushing forward, keep fighting the good fight. I was a soldier once, fighting for a nation, and today I’m a soldier, fighting for the kingdom of God. May we never forget our battles, for they give the fight meaning, what we learn, what we experience, we may grow from. Never grow weary, and never surrender the fight. 

Today I remember the fight, the details remain in my mind, and I am thankful for God’s protection. There would be many more days of fight ahead, and some far removed from my time in the desert. A part of me is still there, even after all these years. A part of me died there I think. The young kid, full of life, and laughter is not the adult that left the desert behind. The last day in Iraq I remember sitting on the ground, my bag for a pillow, waiting for the helicopters to come pick us up. It seemed surreal at the time. Were we really leaving? That was it, just one day, the war was over for me. The ambush came so early in the deployment but it set the tone for the remainder time in Camp Ramadi. I would never view life the same. The constant awareness would become second nature. The constant threat assessment would be commonplace for me. The losses we feel every day in our hearts would not go away as easily as us flying from the base in a helicopter. The weight we carry has been with us ever since. War changes a person, and unless you experience it, it’s hard to explain. The battle for Iraq lasted more than 15 years and I have often wondered what did we gain? When I arrived there I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to free the Iraqi people from a régime that threatened their way of life, and held them hostage under the thumb of a ruthless dictator and his sons. Looking back, and experiencing the hurt, and the betrayal as I watched on TV. As ISIS took control of Ramadi. Why were we there, if it was just going to be given to a new enemy? Answers sadly would not come as the hurt funneled into my heart. What was a soldiers life worth? The scars left behind by that place are much like the wound Frodo wound experience on Weathertop, a wound that would never fully heal. 

I am still a soldier, albeit broken, and slower than I used to be. I still rise every day ready to fight the good fight, and know that war while we live might be inevitable, are only battles in the grand scheme of things. But Jesus will win the war. Jesus will return with a mighty army and slay the enemies of the throne. I a soldier in His grand army, continue to fight, but instead of bullets, and tanks, I fight with the Holy Word of God. I do not fear death, for death comes for us all. I believe when death comes I would welcome it as a release from my time in service, and allowed to finally go home, and finally rest. Jesus paid the price for my sins, and one day he will grant my leave. That day may not be today, or tomorrow, but till then, I soldier on, and I continue to fight the good fight, and I continue to stand my ground against all my enemies, the chief enemy, the father of lies, Satan. I shall continue to pick up my sword, tighten the straps of the Armor of God I so willingly wear, and prepare for battle today, the next day, the next battle, each and every day, I fight. 

To those who came home still in the fight, I pray for you. 

To those who didn’t come home, I fight to honor your sacrifice. 

To those who serve or served I salute your service. 

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Jesus talks to the Pharisees and tells them the truth makes them free, but they have hardened hearts and do not see the Christ.

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John 8: 31-36
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A Godly life

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Beyond Measure

Beyond Measure 

Since becoming a true Christian, something I’ve heard in that time is “You Can’t Outgive God.” I’d say that’s beyond true. When I became a Christian, not that I didn’t grow up knowing who Christ was, but when I truly understood and surrendered to Him, the creator of the universe, I found a new understanding. In recent years I have found myself fighting for every inch on the football field of life. In the last several years I have struggled financially, living paycheck to paycheck, barely scrapping the bottom of the barrel every month. See, I live in a tent in the back yard of my mother’s house. I’ve lived in a tent for three years now. It isn’t a small camping tent, but it is still at the heart of it, a tent. It’s hot in the summer, and cold in the winter. Until recently the winters could be rough. Having power but not fire, I was able to only heat a maximum of 30 degrees at great financial cost. 30* each night would raise my bill nearly 200-$300 dollars. Thankfully this year someone donated a pellet stove but came at the end of winter and was no use to me, so far anyway. Summers are hot, with no shade, and the temperature inside the tent can become upwards of 130*F. A bit hot, I’d say. While, I’m not complaining at all, this is the life that I had been handed, and I have been making the best of my situation. Recently I was about to leave the house and before I did, I checked my bank account and saw $68 left. While of course it was enough for the end of the month, it wasn’t enough to buy any groceries. Money has been the bane of my existence for some time now. 

Years ago, I remember asking God for patience. I had undergone hardship and loss. Having such a small income, and worsening health, my ability to work became less likely. Somehow, the Lord has supplied every need I’ve had over the last several years. In times of absolute need the Lord would supply me with the means to manage a problem, even from as far away as a longtime friend who sent me money to help. Though she did not know what my need was, she sent money anyway, because she felt I needed help. The amount she sent was the exact amount I needed to fix my car. And of course, we cannot forget the winter stove which was anonymously donated. That stove will change my life in this upcoming winter. While those are only two examples, there are many more over the last 8 years. The Lord saved my life in the back of an ambulance when all those in the ambulance thought my days were done, the Lord had other plans for me. How magnificent is the Lord and His ability to take the most awful things, and turn them into blessings. Not knowing how the bills would be paid, and certainly not knowing how I’d be able to put food on the table, or fix things when needing to be fixed, the Lord has taught me patience, by immersing me in situations where patience was needed. There has been another virtue the Lord has taught me along with patience, and that’s been trust, and faith. Faith in Him, and knowing in that faith that He will work things out. Not that I won’t have trouble, but He is with me in that trouble. 

Over the last several years as I mentioned, my health has been deteriorating. Not a day goes by I am not in a tremendous amount of pain. I have done my best to try and enjoy life, and to do things with the youth at my church, go for hikes, and walks, do my own yard work, but as I said recently and many times before, “everything I do comes at a cost.” The key is whether or not I am able and willing to pay the cost. As a famous line in a marvel film once said, “The bill comes due, always.” Thankfully Jesus paid the ultimate bill for me, a bill I could have never paid for. Having very little chance to work and make any significant amount of money, I have found myself concerned about my future. Would I ever be able to take care of my family? It is no secret inflation has risen in the United States, but sadly the veteran income does not equal a living wage. Where I live the average rent in around $1200 a month, and that’s recently just the bad neighborhoods. Sad to say, that’s what I used to pay for a pretty nice apartment back in the day. Now, it’s just the crime ridden places, that this is the cost of rent alone. Now, with the average being 12-1500 a month, let’s take a look at veteran pay. For a 100% the average income (Which is public record) is around $3900. It doesn’t take a budget expert to see where this could become a problem. After you take rent, and add insurance, and other exploding bill cost, you can see where even an apartment would be very tight. Sadly, for me, a few years back, I was faced with several very large bills in which I couldn’t pay for, and it left me with credit card debt I couldn’t get out from under. I was facing a fire, one that I could not put out, but only mildly control. A few more emergencies and those balances would nearly max the account. Again, am I complaining, no, it’s just the facts. In order for us to understand the enormity of the Lords blessings we must understand the enormity of our situations. Much like my debt problem, that I couldn’t pay off, we have a debt problem we couldn’t pay off either. Jesus paid that debt. Jesus willingly came to earth, placed himself in harm’s way, took himself out of safety and perfection to come to this dismal little planet, live a sinless but difficult life, and then hang on a tree he created for himself to be crucified and buried for our transgressions. He paid a bill for not just one person, but the entirety of the worlds transgressions, but why? 

We are sinners by birth, a curse passed down from Adam to the rest of humanity. We are born with a debt, a mark we cannot hope to pay. We in our sin nature reject God. You do not have to teach a child to hit someone when they get angry, they do that on their own. You do not have to teach a child to lie, they do that on their own. You do not need to teach a child not to share, they do that all on their own. As Voddie Baucham once said, “Vipers in Diapers”. By our very nature we are born with sin, born with an innate sense of pride, and we want things our way. Have you ever seen a child throw a tantrum in a store because they didn’t get what they wanted? That’s the natural behavior of a child, and yet somewhere along the line we have people teaching that we are innately good. It is only by God’s grace and mercy are we good, and only good by earthly standards. By holy standards, none are good, nor are they righteous, no, not one. Jesus paid for our sins, He paid the debt we could not, by his own life. I heard it said once, if you scratch a car in a junkyard no one cares. But if you scratch a Ferrari or some other nice car, you’d likely go to jail for it. The story came with a point, it’s the value of a thing that makes it so special. Jesus was valuable which is why his life was enough to pay for the rest of humanity. He was perfect, God incarnate, and thus His sacrifice, to be the spotless lamb, would be enough to pay the debt, to be the propitiation, the substitution on our behalf. We are sinners, in need of a savior, and Jesus was that sacrifice so we may have restitution with the Father. 

In the last few years, I had become increasingly aware of the mounting debt I couldn’t get out from underneath. Having realized I’d never work again, I didn’t know how I would manage. I didn’t know how I could take care of my family. If I was ever blessed with a child, I didn’t know how I would ever be able to provide. The nights of stress kept me awake. In recent months my car had begun making strange sounds in the front tire area, and in recent days that sound turned from bad to worse as metal on metal could be heard. Needless to say, my concern for a major repair cost was on my mind. Why would God place this physical burden upon me, but not change anything else? Why wouldn’t God heal me so I could go to work to take care of my family? In recent years, especially this year, teaching and ‘preaching’ the word of God has become my primary job, yet one I do not make a single penny for. Years of telling God I wouldn’t do well as a pastor, or preacher, God it seems thought I was funny. I continued to tell God what I wouldn’t do, and here I am, writing about God’s grace, and sovereignty. A few months back the Lord provided me the way to get a mic and a cheap camera for my computer. I resumed my podcast, and now I do two podcasts a week and I still write. While I don’t get paid for what I do, the Lord has called me to do this ministry, and I have obeyed His call. Having not worked now for over 20 months, I have found I enjoy putting together lessons and being in His word. Very few days go by when I am not opening the Bible and learning something new. The days I do not get a chance to dive in, at the very least I am reading a devotional. Very recently I have started a prayer journal, and keep up daily with prayers and praises to the Lord. As my car’s looming repair was over my head, (and at the time of this writing, has not been repaired) I knew I was in trouble. The Lord’s timing is perfect. 

Over the last several months I have been preparing for a social security trial in which I would go before a judge and plead my case, with the help of a lawyer. I was under no illusions my case, while strong, wasn’t a sure thing. Patience has been the keyword in my life for a while. Waiting several months on end for a decision, only to be rejected, and having to move forward to the next phase, has taught me valuable lessons. Through our entire life we often try to feebly make our way through life, using our own idea to fix things on our own volition. We often think we know what’s best and we try to fix things on our own. When we try to fix things on our own apart from God, we most frequently screw it up. Thankfully, patience, and trust have left me with a new respect for God, and to trust His plan. I have learned to trust God and to do so with His timing, and not my own. God has shown me He is greater than all my own understanding, and by trusting in Him, I believe I am being, for lack of a better term, rewarded. My continued faith through adversity and strife, has brought me here, where the Lord in His mercy and grace, has shown me favor, and thus providing me ‘a way out’. It is said the Lord will not put more on you then you can handle, but the true statement is the Lord will not allow you to undergo temptation without a way out. Jesus is the way out of temptations. I believe my situation has given me insight to the difficulty in life itself. I am, thankfully seeing a change in situation, a change in the winds upon my face, and the seas ahead. 

As I am expected to see significant changes in my life, I am left knowing that all my struggles, and time have not been in vain. All my strife has not been for nothing. The Lord uses everything we go through, from the traumas of living in a broken world, to the test He himself may bring upon us to discipline us, or to strengthen our resolve. What the devil uses for evil, the Lord will use it for good. While I do not know the reason for the years of struggle, and now the sudden reversal of fortune, one thing has stood out to me, it will not be an easy transition. I am very aware of my concerns of returning to a life of poverty, and worse my failing to provide for my family. I believe that while it has yet to dawn on my brain the nature of what’s about to change, I will, in time adapt, albeit keep a close eye on the devil and his desire to destroy me. I have spent years trying to rebuild my life, and while I will remain in this beautiful white, canvas tent, I will be able to pay forward the blessings the Lord has given to me. While I do not know what that looks like, the Lord’s people are never shy of need. Years ago it brought me great joy, and I believe a greater joy to the Lord, for me to provide a car for a friend. Paid for by my hard work in the military. How I have wished to be able to be there like that, for people again. I do not know what my future holds, nor am I brazen enough to say all my worries will end, but Lord willing, I will have some time to breathe, and perhaps enjoy a little of God’s beautiful creation. God blesses each of us in different ways. The biggest blessing I have been blessed with, is not a change of fortune financially, but that of love. I was brought to this place, and not by chance was I introduced to those whom I would now call family. The Lord’s providence is at work, even when we do not see it, He’s working. 

I think back to the 400 years of silence between the Old and New Testaments. Was God sitting down playing games, not paying attention to us little people? No, he was moving pieces, working in the world, setting up governments, they would rise and fall, and change the landscape of the world. Eventually Rome would take over and through Rome, roads, and pathways, cities, and trade were established. These things made the way for the Gospel to be moved throughout the known world. Why was Christ born when he was? So that he would die on the cruelest torture device ever created by man. So His disciples would go and spread His Gospel to the known world. God was working then, and He’s still working now. We cannot ever know just how many tragedies He’s saved us from, or how many wrong choices we’ve avoided because of His intervening. We just don’t know what He’s actually doing. What we do know is God is good and wants good for us. Do we put ourselves aside to do His work? Do we bring Christ into every aspect of our lives, or do we just say hello on Sunday and Wednesday? Do others know we are a Christian because we always talk about it, or show Christ in our daily actions? Or would you die and no one would have known one way or another? Life is short, a vaper in the cosmos, and we have a great opportunity to seek God, because if you have the desire, it means He’s calling you. No one comes to the father unless He calls them first. Sheep do not come unless they are called. Our blessings are beyond measure; beyond anything we could comprehend. Our blessings far exceed our wildest imaginations, considering what treason, what being an enemy of the throne would bring as punishment. Death, certain death, but not a death outside of existence, but the soul survives the death of the body, therefore leaving an eternal punishment of the soul. No one is sent to Hell from God, but rather, in our obstinance, in our defiance, in our own lust for power and control, we walk the wide path straight to the fires of Hades, Hell. Christ’s gift to us, his freely given gift of grace and mercy every moment of every day, that we are not wiped from existence, but rather a gift of salvation, or being made clean of our sins, so that we may through our faith in him, enter into Heaven. Sadly, in this life, we are seeing nations falling to their desires, their lusts of power. While the Lord may hand people over to their own demise, some will remain who chose to accept the Lords’ gift, and will lay everything aside to follow Him. The rewards are beyond measure, but for me, I’d do it without the rewards. I seek no rewards, other than one sentence. “Well done, my good and faithful son.” I want to please my Lord, I want to know He’s proud of me in what I’ve become, and what I’ve fought through to be. I want to be known as a servant for Christ, and have him be pleased and proud of me. All I want is his hug and acceptance of me. I don’t wish to have bobbles, or jewels, or mansions, just to be with my Abba Father for all eternity is reward for me. It’s a gift beyond measure, so no matter the hardships faced, and those I’ve yet to endure, I pray for the Lords strength to replace my own, as I try to be a good man in the sight of the Lord. A man who God loves, and a man He’s proud of. God’s in control, He’s the good captain, and I’m just trying to do my best, and follow His commands. God has not made me a rich man of money, but a man rich in love. God has shown me favor in His love, and perhaps someday, I will no longer call this beautiful white tent home, but maybe, just maybe, I’ll have a real home, made of brick and mortar. Lord willing. The greatest gift the Lord has ever given was the gift of life through his Son Jesus dying on the cross. He created us for a relationship to Himself, and redeemed us in his Son.

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The Best Captain 

The Best Captain 

In the middle of a storm now, the ship tossed by the waves. Daylight isn’t on the radar right now, but this ship’s strong. It’s got the best captain guiding it. The ship creaks as the waves pound against her hull. I look up and see the mast groans as the waves crash over the deck. The sky’s been dark for many nights now. No stars to guide, but somehow the captain knows. We’ve all wondered how He knows, where are we going and how do we get there, when we can’t see? He tells us all He knows the way, and it’ll be okay. The ship’s old, but she’s not done yet. Her bones are tough, as the waves break upon her hull. Aye, the Captain tells us all to be of good cheer in the midst of the storm. “It build’s good character”, He yells from the helm. 

I’ve been on ship for 30 years now, and He’s not driven to land yet. He’s avoided disaster more times than I could count. The deep calls us all, and desires us to break apart in the storms. The deep has a mind of its own, but the Captain’s to resolved and maintains the course to prosperous seas. Sometimes I can hear the darkness beckon to me, it tells me all is lost. The Captain seems to always know, as it happens, Captain shouts encouragement to me. Many years ago, the dark nearly took me. I fell overboard when a rogue wave hit the ship so hard it jeered and I flew overboard. I thought for sure the waters would take me, but somehow, the Captain dove in and pulled me up. He said, ‘Your sailing days aren’t done yet.’ No more words were ever spoken about it, but I knew the Captain saw something in me that day. Didn’t have to risk Himself for me, but ever since, it’s felt like He’s kept a special eye on me. 

The sharks can be seen circling the ship. Do they smell blood in the water? Do they look forward to me being tossed overboard again? Minions of the dark they are. They seem scared of the Captain though. I swear sometimes I can hear the Captain say, ‘not today!’, and they flee from sight. I don’t know or understand the power the Captain has over the seas, but it’s like it bows to His commands. Even though the sea doesn’t always calm, we navigate through the storms and often in the darkest of nights, Captain’s always watchful. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the Captain never sleeps. Sometimes I take the helm, but as soon as I do it seems another storm billows in, and He’s right back on the wheel. He just says, “have faith”. So I let go of the wheel, and give her back over to the Captain.

The storm is raging on, the lighting cracks in the sky, and I can barely hear Captain’s orders. The darkness surrounds the ship, as she creaks and groans in the treacherous waves. Fear of the ship running aground, or breaking up, or worse, I get tossed over, leaves me trembling with worry. The waves crash over the rail, and I take the full force of the wall of water. I’m wet, and cold, fear grips me, and I fall to my knees and begin to cry. Just as I do a hand touches my shoulder. “‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your CAPTAIN. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’” Cap knows just what to say when I need it. 

In the eye of the storm, you are in the control. Captain my Captain, I follow you. The sails rip and tear, but you don’t worry. I can’t see beyond the bow of the ship, but you say, “In me have faith. I will steer you home.” I worry about much, but my Captain knows. The tears pour down my face, but I find peace in the word Cap gives me. When the sails are torn, it seems Cap’s love surrounds me even more. I look to the East and I can see a glint of light. I tremble to my feet, and I say, “I trust you, Captain.” Cap looks to me and says, “The son rises, so you should have hope.” 

I sought after my Captain, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. With the Captain on my side; I will not fear. What can this storm do to me?  The Captain looks down and yelled to me, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” I stumbled up the stairs to the wheel, and said, “Cap, I’ve been following for a while, and I don’t even know your name.” 

He replied, “I am who I am. I am the way, the truth the life. I am the alpha and the omega. I am the Good Shepherd whom you’ve heard my voice. I am the Lion, and the Lamb. I am Emmanuel, I am Jesus, your Captain. And I’ve got you. Trust in me, and I will see you through to the end of the age, when I welcome you home, when we reach the shores of my Kingdom. You will then have rest. Till then, we’ve got work to do.” 

I fell to my knees and kissed the feet of my salvation. I arose, and grabbed hold of the rope as the ship teetered in the continued waves.

“Fear Not” Jesus said, and peace fell over me, yet while still in the storm. And I was not afraid. 

Jesus may not stop the storms from happening, but He’s right there with us in the midst of them. We cannot face the dark, and face the demons in the dark with fear. Jesus goes before us, and He is with us. The demons tremble and fear him, and if we lose our lives then life is gained. We must trust He knows which way to go, and we must not try to continue to take the wheel from Him. Let us let go, and Let God. The sun rises in the East, and some day, He’ll return from the East. Faith, we must put our faith in Him. 

Written By: 

Rev. Jacob Keiffer

The Bread of Life 

The Bread of Life 

When we consider what this means, the bread of life, I’m sure many images come to mind. What about living water? In John 6:27, Jesus tells them they will receive the food which endure to everlasting life. Jesus will later tell them in verse 35 “And Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst.”  Jesus is the bread of life. 

In exodus we see the Israelites in the desert. They begin complaining about their hunger. First point: They complained about their hunger. Instead of complaining about something to God, why not just ask Him. Nowhere in scripture does it say they prayed to God to take care of their needs. No, it simply says they complained about it. They had very little faith, despite seeing the miracles so far performed by Moses, the vessel in which God chose to work. 

Despite listening to His people complain and not just ask, God is a merciful and patient. He gives them manna from Heaven, but with a couple rules regarding this substance. It was possibly some kind of substance to make bread. Here’s why I believe that. If the manna which came from Heaven every day was to sustain them, but only a day at a time, the next time a ‘food substance’ “bread of life” came from heaven, it would sustain them for eternity. Even though God set forth rules for the Hebrews in Exodus, some still didn’t listen. They had little faith in the God who freed them from Egypt. All they were required to do was have faith, and God the Almighty Father would provide their needs, water, food, and shelter. 

We today, are not much different. We don’t pray for our needs, instead we only pray for our wants. We don’t pray for guidance, instead we say, “I’ve got this.” In reality, we don’t want God to be a part of our daily life, we’re negligent in our relationship, or we treat God as a cosmic genie, to only come forth when we rub the lamp to give us our wish. Really, it’s quite amazing God doesn’t wipe us out and start over; how ungrateful we are. The Apostles prayer or as some of you call it, The Lords Prayer, really does tell us all we need to know. 

Matthew 6:9-13

9 In this manner, therefore, pray:

Our Father in heaven,

Hallowed be Your name.

10 Your kingdom come.

Your will be done

On earth as it is in heaven.

11 Give us this day our daily bread.

12 And forgive us our debts,

As we forgive our debtors.

13 And do not lead us into temptation,

But deliver us from the evil one.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

This prayer that Jesus teaches his disciples is a template. Not meant for repetitious prayer. This prayer shows us each section of what to pray from your heart. 

Who are you praying to? The Father of all creation. God almighty, in Heaven. 

Give the praise: Hallowed: to dedicate, to purify, to set apart. 

Relinquish your own control: God, it’s your Kingdom above, and Your will, will be done here on Earth as your will is done in Heaven. Lord Whatever you wish will be, and I trust you. 

Lord, thank you for your provision, thank you for the gift of life, the bread, the water, that you provide to us daily. 

Lord, please forgive our sins, they are many, and here they are. 

Lord, please forgive those who sin against us, as your son forgave them. Please they do not know what they do. 

Lord please help us face the temptation when it comes. Please strengthen our hearts, that we may not lean upon our own strength, but to trust and lean upon your Son, Jesus. Protect us from the Evil One who seeks to destroy and to separate us from you. 

For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. 

When we seek communion with the Father, we should do so with a humbled heart, and a heart of reverence. We should do so with a heart of fear for the Lord. What we should not do, is turn to God in complaint every step of our lives. 

What the Israelites failed to realize is, all they needed to do was to turn to God for their provisions. To trust in God who had already delivered them out of the hands of Pharaoh. But, in all reality, we do the same. We rarely turn to God in prayer, even more rare, do we open His Word to us, and yet we expect Him to jump at the first time we pick up the Heavenly phone and call upon His name. Again, cosmic genie. Sadly, we do not go to God with sorrow in our hearts, that we have not spoken to him in days, weeks, months, or years. What if we’ve never spoken to God? 

Jesus tells us, He’s the bread of life, he is the sustainer that gives us this bread, this life saving sustenance. Jesus said a lot during His ministry, His rescue mission of humanity, and during this time He said that the Father above loves us more than the birds, and the plants of the earth. Our choices in this life lead us down path after path, after path, and when we hit the brick wall going 95mph, we get mad, and turn to God to fix our mistakes. God loves you, but when you mess up in this life, there are still consequences. God will help pick you up, but you still have to deal with wherever you put yourself through, in your own choices. God will give you the chance however, to deal with those choices in a biblical way. How you get out of the hole you dug is dependent on you. 

When we mess up, we have the opportunity to turn to Christ in repentance of our disobedience, our poor choices, our sins, and do things right. It may take time to fix, and it will cause us to live our life differently, and to force change, but God will be there with us. Before Christ, we are dead in our sins. 

Ephesians 2:1-10

2 And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, 2 in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, 3 among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.

4 But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6 and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

We are dead in our trespasses. WE followed the Devil who is the prince of the Earth, and those who follow the will of the world. Once, before Christ, we lived in our lusts of the flesh, being fornicators, idolaters, thieves, liars, coveters, and more. We loved our sin, like a pig in mud, we rolled around in it, and enjoyed every second of it. But God shows us through His son, and by the touching of the Holy Spirit, we are not meant for that life, and He rescues us. God’s mercy and love, through the sacrifice of His son, bought your freedom, to redeem you, and in His life brought us back into right standing with the Father, in His Holy Kingdom. We would one day breathe our last, and when we believe in him, having picked up our cross to follow Him, we would have everlasting life. 

He gives us life, and having taken the bread of life, we are forever changed. We are unplugged from the world, much like unplugging from the Matrix. We no longer sleep, blind to the world, the sins, the evil around us, we awaken from our slumber, and see the truth. Jesus Christ is the Son of God, the only son of the Father, who was crucified, died and was buried. He rose again and made himself known to his Apostles and hundreds of others. He stayed with them for 40 days before ascending to Heaven. When he left, there would be a time when the spirit would join them. On the day of Pentecost, the Holy Spirit descended upon His chosen Apostles, and the Church was built. Jesus is the bread that gives life. Let us turn to God in prayer, true prayer, and be prepared for the battle ahead, each and every day. Let us wear the Armor of God to stand firm on the Word of God, hold fast against the temptations and the attacks of the Devil. Let us walk in peace and reflecting God’s light to every people of all nations, adhering to the command to go forth to all nations and make disciples, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Scripture gives us all we need. Take the bread of life and be saved, for Jesus is the way the truth and the life, and no one gets to the Father, except through Him. 

Go in peace, and in love, and be courageous. 

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Be flexible podcast

Follow as we dive into being flexible and seeking Gods grace and wisdom.

The Arrow Preacher Podcast: Thursday Edition (Be Flexible)
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God, the Ultimate Dungeon Master

Protecting Our Witness (podcast)

Join me as we do a short podcast; talking about our witness, and keeping forgiveness in our hearts.

The Arrow Preacher Podcast: Friday: Protecting Our Witness Podcast
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Good Friday.

Hey everyone. Join my podcast today. A Good Friday message.

The Arrow Preacher Podcast: Good Friday
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The Cost is High, But the Reward is Unimaginable. 

The Cost is High, But the Reward is Unimaginable. 

Last night I heard an amazing sermon preached by a zealous man, for the Lord. It got me thinking about my life, and what I would do in the pursuit of Christ. What would I do if the going got tough? What would I do if God called me away from my family and friends? What would I do if it meant giving up everything, including my life. There are several examples in scripture, and by Jesus explaining what it means to give everything. See, God is not a priority on your list somewhere, he’s not the top of your list, he’s the one and only priority in our lives. When Jesus said in Luke 14:25-27 25 “Now great multitudes went with Him. And He turned and said to them, 26 “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. 27 And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.” He’s not actually telling you to hate anyone, but asking if you’ve counted the cost. You may be asked to leave them, to let them go, or as a Christian, you may be removed from the family. Are you willing to pay the cost? 

It’s an interesting question, and recently it seems God has continued to put this very thing at the forefront of everything I’ve been saying and doing. We in America don’t know what persecution looks like, and because of that, I believe we have become complacent to the word of God. I think we’ve chosen to sit back on our lazy boy pew’s and listen, but we do not take the word into our hardened hearts. We have failed Jesus as we are lukewarm. We are neither hot nor cold for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We have allowed the Devil to sneak in because we have not been vigilant to see the enemy moving. Sadly, the enemy is all around us, deeply intrenched in our schools, jobs, government, homes, and we have done nothing to stop it or prevent it. Satan has control over our colleges, shaping the minds of our children, and much like Nebuchadnezzar in the book of Daniel, they are manipulating young minds, brain washing them, and turning them against the church. And we do nothing. 

Most today do not go to church even once a week, yet claim the title of Christian. They do not know scripture, because their Bible hasn’t been picked up off the shelf in ages, if they even have one. They do not pray nor commune with the Father in any way. They wouldn’t know a counterfeit or the real Christian pastor, standing in front of them. How dare us wine and complain about what’s going on around us, when we have only ourselves to blame. When Israel would not repent of its wicked ways, God handed them over to their enemies. When we do not repent of our wicked ways, we are handed over to our own reprobate minds. 

We are corrupt and enemies of God. When we do not love God’s commands, and that means all of them, not picking and choosing which ones to follow, and not follow, we are showing God that we are sinful, immoral, lustful, selfish, unrighteous, and more. Paul explains in very clear cut terms, who will not inherit the kingdom of God in 1 Corinthians. 

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 “9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.”

There are words here that may put some off, and as I heard last night, that’s exactly what Jesus did. That’s exactly what John did. And the book of Jude. A vine to be trimmed. Chaff to be thrown away. The cost of following Christ is high, and in the midst of heavy persecution, Paul expresses to Follow Christ. During this time where he tells the church to be bold in Christ, Nero who was placing the blame of burning down half of Rome on Christians. He was feeding Christians to hungry dogs and lions. He was burning Christians alive as human torches lining the streets of Rome. 

Jesus tells his people to follow him. He bled and died, and if we are to pick up our cross, that means we may follow in his very footsteps. It may cost us our lives. As I heard it put last night, are you the real deal, or a fake, phony, and fraud? Do you love God, and his Son, and his children, and his commands? Most of us look at the commandments in scripture as guidelines. Similar to the pirate’s code. Not really set immutable rules, but more like the direction on a compass with a plus or minus a few degrees. The problem is, if you’re off by only a degree, you may hit your distance and never reach your destination. Heaven is that way. If you follow the false gospel, you may never hit your destination, oh you’ll hit a destination, but not where you wanted to go. 

Christianity is like that; Jesus tells us the path to Heaven is a narrow way. The problem is, when people think they are ‘following’ Christ, they really aren’t. There will be some who claim Christians, but much like Judas, are the antichrist sitting in the pews next to us. Or, are we one of them? As I heard the sermon last night, I left with both an encouraged, but also heavy heart. As I have grown in my faith, I have come to find what the narrow path truly means. When I look around, I have begun to wonder, how many are culturally Christian, and how many are the real in their heart, sacrificial Christian. 

So why do I bring this up? As a Christian, in my heart recently has been heavy for the lives of the lost. I have wondered what I could do to get the word out to more people. How can I get this blog to more people who need Jesus? How can I get my podcast to more people who do not know Jesus as the Christ? While I do not have answers to this currently, I am left with a simple prayer, God use me how you see fit, and forgive me of my sins and short comings. I want my actions and deeds to be pleasing to you, as a child only wants approval of their parent. I do not wish to upset or disappoint my Heavenly Father. I want to be useful and not a stumbling block for others. In my heart I feel disappointed when I feel I have laid out a solid message hoping it’s the Holy Spirit guiding me, and not me myself, but so few see it. I know God will work and if my writings are to be spread, it must be the will of the Father. I just pray I am being obedient, and relevant, and not delivering scripture poorly or incorrectly. 

What are you? Are you a true believer, or a fraud? Are you willing to sacrifice all for the Kingdom? Are you Judas sitting amongst the Apostles blending in? The message I heard last night really got me thinking, not about my own salvation, but if I’m doing enough, if I’m getting the word out there, if I’m bold enough, and unapologetic for Christ. Let us set our compasses to the North to follow Jesus. We ought not deviate from North because even a one degree off the Azimuth, at a mile is off by 92.2 feet. IF we are to follow Christ, while there is God’s grace, we must follow his message, and be zealous for his word. We must be faithful in our walk, loving his children, loving the father and not idols, or the world. We must love his word, desire to learn it, to know it, and most of all, to follow it. We should have a burning desire to get closer to God, and know him, and have a relationship with him. Scripture tells us what the cost of following Jesus is. Today there are many slight variations of what it means to follow Jesus. Variations on the gospel to look like the truth, and act like the truth, all except a couple small points. To follow Christ is to love ALL his commandments. To follow Christ is to give up everything that takes your eyes off the Father and the Kingdom. As an American I feel we are asleep at the wheel. Satan has crept in and taken over several vital institutions in our nation, and is now teaching things to children while the adults are so busy with work and other distractions, they don’t know. Our children are gone away at college and are being taught all kinds of theories which are false, and yet we stand by and wonder what happened to our once great nation. We have failed, and the punishment has been enacted, we have been turned over to our reprobate minds, and we must face the bitter consequences of giving an inch to sin. Most of us are no longer facing North towards Christ. We are off, being pulled away by the enemy or our own self-induced ignorance. Sadly, we don’t understand what it means to be on the narrow path. And many will be turned away from the Lord when he says: “I never knew you, depart from me, you who practice lawlessness.” Matthew 7:23 We should all take pause and understand the cost, and see if we are truly following or not. 

Are we zealous for the Lord? Are we burning with a desire to please him, to praise him, to worship him, to serve him? Or are we too enthralled at our own lives, and we don’t have time for God? If we are putting anything before God we are placing idols ahead of Him, and we are disobeying his commands. God, Gods Son, Gods People, the Love of the Commands. What were the two commands? Love God with your heart mind and soul. Love one another as yourselves. Scripture tells us Love covers a multitude of sins. When you don’t forgive, lose your temper, covet your neighbor’s new toy, get upset at that driver in front of you, judge someone by the color of their skin, or what they wear, grumble at church, gossip, hold a grudge, you are not loving one another. We need a wake-up call, and we need to check ourselves. Where are we? Are we at a 0 degree azimuth, or are we at a 1* or more off? An imitation gospel, no matter how close it is, is still a fake, a cheap knock off. How would we know? Read, and know, and understand scripture. Do not be deceived, there are Judas’s in the church today. Make sure you’re not one. 

Go in peace, love, mercy, and grace. Read scripture and open your heart to God’s Holy and Perfect Word. Be steadfast in the word, but share in love. 

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