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Wake UP

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Wake UP 

As most of you know, well, maybe not most, but anyone who knows me, knows I love the movie the Matrix, and not just the movie, but the whole series. The women in the red dress speech, speaks to the reality that is repentant sinners, verses, unrepentant sinners. I have said before, the only difference between myself, and Hitler, is that I am a repentant sinner, and he was not. Sure, I’m not a homicidal madman bent on world conquest, but I am a sinner, and at the foot of the cross, our sins have the same equal heavenly punishment; eternal damnation in Hell. I saw someone post recently, why does God allow animals to suffer since they have no sin. That’s a fantastic question, but simple to answer; animals were the care of Adam and Eve, along with the plants in the Garden of Eden. Sin, is not just what we do, but a corrupting force that affected not just Adam and Eve, but the plants and animals also. There was no death in the garden, but an animal had to die to for God to make garments of skin. I think many people believe they had tree branches for clothing, but scripture is clear. An animal suffered the first physical death because of what Adam and Eve had done. Time also entered the Earth. The decay of time begun, and since then, we are all slaves to it, and we are all victims to the sad decay that time brings. Sin, brings this upon us, and sadly animals while innocent, have a new nature in the world of sin. As a friend and pastor once said, in the Garden you could have had a pet raptor, now that raptor would eat you. But in today’s current world, you see a lion is no longer tame, but a predator. Sin has wide reaching effects upon this fallen world. 

I have been looking at my life and have thought recently, I would wake up from this nightmare. Finding out just a couple short weeks ago, that my Aorta is dangerously large, and would require immediate surgery, has been a waking nightmare. I have, in that short time, experienced many emotions and have lost an untold number of tears. How could this be happening to me? As a friend told me recently, “I’ve never seen anyone with a worse hand delt to them.” That same friend years ago said, “IF it wasn’t for bad luck bro, you wouldn’t have any luck at all.” I have begun thinking about what he said, and while on the surface it looks true, I think there’s more going on than that. It wasn’t luck that we found the Aorta; it was God. It wasn’t luck that I had the hernia that led to the surgery, that led to the gas in my chest, that led to us finding the Aorta, it was God. Lucky, or God? If I had only bad luck, would I have not just died some random time? There is no denying, I have endured more hardships than most people, but God has seen me through each of them. At no point was I ever alone, and going all the way back to my childhood, God has placed the right people in my life, to help me through hardships. Bad luck, or Godly providence? It wasn’t luck we (My squad) survived the ambush in Iraq, it was God’s providence. What does providence mean? I’m glad you asked, Providence means: the protective care of God or of nature as a spiritual power. (Dictionary.com) It was not luck I survived the GSW in 2016, but God’s providence. In that lowest time of my life, I found myself looking up, and there was the Lord’s hand, to grab me and bring me to life. I had been trying my whole life to keep one foot in the bible, and the other in the world. I was trying to live both lives, and eventually a battle had to happen in my life, and forced me to kill off one side. That bullet, for all intense in purposes, that bullet killed the other side of me. The saving grace from God, and the forgiving nature, was supernaturally experienced, as I lay there dying in the ambulance, I was hearing the voice of God, in a thunderous reply to my sincere apology for my actions and wrong doings, “You’re Forgiven.” I awoke a new man. Today, I am now 48 hours from life changing surgery. Through all these hardships, it is not luck that has allowed me to survive, but God’s grace, and His divine plan. My hardships have not been to punish me, but rather to forge me in the fires of trials, so that I may have a glorious divine testimony. God works out the details, and if we just take a moment to seek His face, we would see Him working in our lives. But, it requires trust, and faith. 

The life I have lived, while difficult, has left me with a great understanding of God’s grace, and sovereignty. It is this sovereignty that gives me hope, because I know, that no matter what happens to me in this life, my soul is His. I am merely a clay pot for God’s choosing and purpose. No matter what happens to me in this life, I know that into his hands, my soul is His, and one day this broken body, will be upgraded to one of glory, adorned with a crown. I long for home, but know that as long as I draw breath, God’s plans for me are to continue to share the Love of Christ, the Holy Scripture in which He has left us, to live our lives by. My whole purpose is to be the hands and feet of God. What an honor it is to serve the Lord on high. What an honor it is to be given the opportunity to teach about Jesus, and His life, and for myself to learn and grow closer to God. I am nobody without God, but because of God, I have value. My value comes from God dwelling within me, otherwise I am a dead sinner. God didn’t come to earth because I have value, God came to earth so I would have value. God has shown me the nature of humanity, the depravity that curses our actions, our thoughts, the blackness upon our souls. But with the blood of Jesus, we see that blackness washed away. We see the change in a person as they are born again, when they accept the name of Jesus, repent of their once wicked ways, and takes up their cross daily to follow Jesus. What an honor it is to be chosen by God, to be predestined, to be counted among the few, to worship, honor, and bring Him glory. How can I complain about a heart surgery, when I cannot say with certainty what is good or bad in this life. I do not mean what is good or bad regarding sin nature, but that which happens to us, from breaking ones arm, to getting into a firefight in Iraq, to losing a wife to an affair. There is certainly difficulty in these things, but for us to say if something is good or bad, we cannot. Things direct our path, and we cannot say if one event is bad, because if that “bad” event pushes us towards a new path, one of peace, and prosperity, or even a sinner repenting and coming to Jesus, then, those things are not bad, they are just, things. Sin is bad. How we respond can be good or bad. Do we respond in a way that is of this world? Things like yelling, throwing tantrums, saying or doing hurtful things to people. Being selfish, or prideful. These things are bad because they are not of God. Good, is being patient, listening before speaking, being faithful, edifying and lifting up with our words. Allowing ourselves to do good works in the name of Christ, so He is glorified, not so we may receive credit, but that God gets the glory. These things are good. 

I have come to find, that even though I am a faithful follower of Christ, that does not mean my mind always cooperates the way I think it should. I have found myself struggling with emotions leading up to this surgery. Some fear, not of death, but that I will be a burden for others to take care of. Even being a burden for someone else to take care of, allows others to be the hands and feet of Christ. Things like this, allows others to be the hands and feet of Christ, through mercy, and grace, love; by ways of sending cards, food, gifts, messages, etc. What looks bad, may be a way for us to show our faithfulness to a Holy God. Following Jesus is not an easy thing, in fact, it’s darn hard sometimes. Sometimes it takes every ounce of strength I have to say Hallelujah. Sometimes the storm shakes and breaks me down, but even when the storm rips the sails, and I’m at the mercy of the waves, I say Hallelujah. When Satan’s attacks are more than I can take, and I’m down on the ground, bleeding, tired, that’s when even my whisper brings the legion of Angels sent by God to surround me and pick me back up. God is always faithful, and no matter what happens in this life to us, God deserves our praise, our worship, our song of Hallelujah. When it isn’t easy, and life truly is pounding upon your Armor of God, may the Holy Spirit, and the legion of Angels come to minister to you, the reinforcements waiting for the word from God to come to your side, if they aren’t already there. It may be the hardest thing in the world to go through, but what is a few 70-90 years of hardships to an eternity of Heaven? Do we think Christ didn’t go through hardships? Let us seek scripture; John 12:27- “Now My soul has become troubled; and what shall I say, ‘Father, save Me from this hour’? But for this purpose I came to this hour. Father, glorify Your name.” Then a voice came out of heaven: “I have both glorified it, and will glorify it again.” So the crowd of people who stood by and heard it were saying that it had thundered; others were saying, “An angel has spoken to Him.” Jesus answered and said, “This voice has not come for My sake, but for your sakes. Now judgment is upon this world; now the ruler of this world will be cast out. And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to Myself.” But He was saying this to indicate the kind of death by which He was to die. The crowd then answered Him, “We have heard out of the Law that the Christ is to remain forever; and how can You say, ‘The Son of Man must be lifted up’? Who is this Son of Man?” So Jesus said to them, “For a little while longer the Light is among you. Walk while you have the Light, so that darkness will not overtake you; he who walks in the darkness does not know where he goes. While you have the Light, believe in the Light, so that you may become sons of Light.”       These things Jesus spoke, and He went away and hid Himself from them.

— John 12:27-36

Jesus became burdened knowing His time was soon to come, the purpose of his human life was nearly at hand. A burden we can know nothing of since we have never tasted Heaven. A burden of leaving perfection for this sinful place. Jesus, a perfect person, lived among hardships, illness, suffering, and He Himself, knowing Heaven, it must have been difficult to live in such conditions. Knowing he would undergo a death so hard, we cannot fathom the pain he endured. For an infinite being to taste death, the first time the forever trinity would see just what death was like, is more than any mortal being can understand. Our time is linier, but Jesus would be both God and man at the same time. Jesus would later bleed through His pours as he would sweat blood from the stress He was preparing to endure. Our savior Jesus Christ, knows our struggles. He has endured them as well, so here we are, preparing for hardships in our own lives, let us focus on Him. 

The struggle keeps us focused on God, so we would not become too prideful, or self-focused. Hardships build character, and perseverance. Let us seek God and I can think of no better way to say this than which has already been said. 

Hard Fought Hallelujah. 

I’ll bring my hard-fought heartfelt

Been-through-hell hallelujah

I’ll bring my storm-tossed, torn-sail

Story to tell hallelujah

God, You’ve been patient

God, You’ve been gracious

Faithful whatever I’m feeling or facing

So I’ll bring my hard-fought, heartfelt

It is well hallelujah

I’ve wrestled with the darkness

But I’m trying to reach for the light

Yeah, the struggle keeps me honest

And it breaks down the walls of my pride

‘Cause faith isn’t proven like gold

‘Til it’s been through the fire

Yeah, yeah

My head, heart and hands are feeling heavy

And that’s when I lift them just a little higher

Let us remember that no matter what we endure, what is this trouble when heaven is forever? 

1 Peter 5:10 “10 After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.” We are being refined daily, sanctified to purify us like the gold, placed in the fire, to separate the world, from the Holy. It is well, with my soul, that these hardships, the fire I endure, the storms that rage on around me, should bring me to God, to seek his Glory, to seek His face, to let him continue to forge me like a beautiful sword, needing to be heated, beaten, shaped, forged in the fires of trials, to be prepared for the war waging all around me. I may shed tears, but God holds them in His hands. I may struggle at times, but His strength raises me up. I may fall, but His hand pulls me out of the water. I may be in the middle of the fire, but His presence stops me from being burned. I may be a prisoner to my sinful self, but His angels comfort me, and break the bonds that once kept me captive to this world. So, let us seek God, and know that our tomorrow is not of this world, but a beautiful place where there is no sin, no tears, no suffering. So, in leu of this hardship, it is well, with my soul. My heart beats, and will beat again. I will have a story to tell, to share, and I shall not allow the Devil to lie to me, to sway me, to belittle me, to bully me into feeling sorry for myself. I am a child of God, and I am a warrior for Christ. I will stand tall, I will heal, and I will carry on the fight. I will hold my ground, even if I’m battered, and bruised, even if my body is broken, I will dig in and hold fast this line, because God is in my corner, and if God is for me, who than can be against me? I’ve been through hell, but to Jesus I say Hallelujah. Thank You, Jesus for my hardships, and for being Lord in and over my life. It is well, with my soul. 

Let us wake up and see the nature of this life and though there is sin in this world, it is those we seek who seek answers in this life. Those willing to be unplugged from the world, let us share the Gospel so the truth may find those who Jesus has chosen. Let us be warriors for Jesus, to wake up those asleep, for it is only God’s word that can wake the sleepers. God’s word is power, and let us share the Gospel of peace, and know that Jesus overcame death, so we would live in his resurrection. This world is a minefield, but the word of God never returns void, so let us be warriors, soldiers for the Lord. Change comes from the Spirit. We cannot remain the same when the spirit awakens our hearts and it beats again. We cannot live in sin and Jesus at the same time. Wake up, oh sleeper, wake up and see your breath Jesus has given to you. With all malice put away your sinful self. Cut that sin out of your life, and be at peace in the Lord. Wake up and feel the change within your heart. Wake up, and know it is well, with your soul. 

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Abba

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Abba

The days come and go, and while they do, all I can do is manage my actions in each instance. In my life as I have experienced one major trial after another, I have grown closer to God. I have no control over tomorrow, all I have control over is how I respond. Is the way I respond glorifying to God? Does how I respond bring pleasure to my Abba Father? When I face Christ at the judgment seat, I have no excuse to give. While I am preparing for the biggest surgery of my life, I have to face the truth up front. 

I have often looked back in the recent days, at my life. My days of military service has been on my mind. I look back at my injuries and wonder if they are the result of a gene that caused this bicuspid valve. My knee injury in 2005, was this a result in a weakened muscle group? What about the three hernias I’ve had; are they a result of this gene? While I will not likely get an answer to this, I know that regardless of the cause, I must handle and manage my emotions, my responses and actions, in the midst of these trials. 

I was told recently that my relentless positivity is enjoyed. I have not felt very positive recently due to the amount of tears I have shed. I have tried to maintain a positive outlook, and while I stumble, I am picking myself up. My emotions have been intense recently. As i get older I find myself more accepting of Gods plan. Tomorrow is already written, and I cannot alter God’s plan. Yes we have our free will as far as how we respond to stimuli. God gives power, God gives opportunity, God gives us choices. Do we take the fruit or not. Do we scream, or talk in a calm edifying voice? Because I am becoming more aware of myself, and where I fit in to this world, I find myself more at peace. 

Peace in life despite the absolute hardships I have endured, is not due to my own actions, but a change within my heart, a gift from the Holy Spirit. The Spirit is where true Godly change comes from. While I was in Iraq, during the ambush on September 12th, while being shot at and attacked, I felt peace. Explosions were going off around me, RPG’s flying all over, barely missing my truck, I felt peace. When the Mk-19 failed and my gunner had to use his M-16, with no cover, I was at peace. When it looked like we may be stopped, and if we stopped we’d be an easy target, I was at peace. This peace resembles what I feel today. Where does this peace come from? It’s either the Holy Spirit, or an angel by my side, or both. We know that God sends the angels to minister to believers. We also know that the Holy Spirit rests within the hearts of believers. How can I be at peace? No matter what I’m going through, I know God is still on His throne, and in control over my life. I just have to relinquish control to God. I need to let Him take the wheel and sit back and do what I’m commanded to do. My life, I must focus on God first. Then, I must take care of my family, and friends. I must do my blog, and podcast, because God has given me a platform to share the Gospel. So, what is the Gospel? 

The Gospel is the good news of Jesus Christ. The Gospel is we are sinners and we must recognize this. We must look to Jesus and believe. We must look to Jesus, believe, and obey his commandments. What is the first commandment? Mark 12:30-31 30 and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” We must recognize the need for a savior because our heart is wicked. Our souls are filthy, and there is nothing we can do to fix or change this. Jesus, is the only one capable of cleansing our hearts. We are sinners, and the wages of sin is death. Romans 6:23 “23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” We are not forced into this decision, and therefore, God sends no one to Hell. Our nature does that, and there are no repentant or sorrowful people in Hell. They continue to hate God, and like I have used in the past, they are like Anakin on the edge of the lava field, yelling at his friend, his brother, “I hate you”. We are wicked, and our nature is total depravity. We are born this way, and the proof is found within young children. We do not have to teach them to hit their parents. We do not have to teach them to lie about simple things. We do not have to teach them not to share. We can see the nature of a child is to be rebellious. As a prominent pastor once said, “vipers in diapers.” Our sin nature is on display in children, and we must teach them to tell the truth, to share, not to hit. We are blessed that God is merciful and does not cast down judgment right away for our transgressions. We are blessed that God’s love gives us a chance to believe in Jesus as savior. 

Growing up I found peace in God’s house. I went to a Catholic Church and while I now disagree with much of the Catholic church’s teaching today, I had a strong feeling about God, and feeling comfortable in the church, I often didn’t want to go home. Church was my safe space. I attended the adult sessions, and I found myself fascinated by Jesus, and I wanted to know everything I could. As I got older I drifted a little, but still held my faith in Jesus and God. I considered myself a good Christian, in fact for a while I called myself a good Catholic. In reality, I wasn’t, but at the time, I didn’t know that. When I returned to the US, I found myself going to an Episcopal church. I felt like I fit in at church. Within a year I moved to North Carolina and eventually found myself a small town Baptist church. In reality this small town church saved my life. My eternal soul was on the line, and what I was missing was actual biblical teaching. I couldn’t see it, but I had a head knowledge of Jesus, but not a heart knowledge. At the time I would have probably fit in with the Matthew 7 crowd, where Jesus says depart from me. I grew up with Catholic beliefs and it was works based. I completed my communion, I completed my confession, and I thought that meant I was good, and I was saved. Sadly, I believe many think this and may be eternally doomed because of it. Over time I learned it wasn’t about what I had done, but rather, it would be something the spirit does within me. I must have repented and believed in Jesus. Only then would the spirit change my heart from stone, a dead man, to a heart of flesh, a living man, reborn in Christ. It wasn’t that the Baptist church was superior, but it merely taught the Bible. It was never about the things I had done, it was always about my heart and where I placed my hope. I can remember the day. I was in crisis as my home was falling apart. I had continued to try and do things my own way, and I was never worried about asking God, or even doing it His way. It wasn’t till I had reached rock bottom in my life, that I realized I needed God. I didn’t just need Him for that particular Crisis, no, I needed God for everything I do in my life. I needed God’s forgiveness, His sovereignty, His grace, and Mercy. I needed to learn to be like Christ and the only way to do that was to surrender my life to Him. It was then, I found my path, and what God wanted me to do. I would preach and teach His word. I would dive in and stay swimming in the holy scripture. I would focus on God in my life in every aspect of it. Whatever you eat or drink, what ever you do, do for the glory of God. I found my purpose in this world, and it’s to praise the Lord, to worship the Lord, and to share His Holy Gospel every chance I get. Even though my life has been difficult, and especially difficult since 2016, my living in a tent full time, my needing open heart surgery, the loss of friends, I am more at peace than ever before in my life. My belief in Jesus isn’t just a blind belief, but one based on incontrovertible evidence. All the evidence points to Jesus Christ being who he said he was. No one, not one single person dies for what they know to be a lie. If it were a lie, and Jesus didn’t rise from the dead, one the few people who followed him would have stopped if he didn’t rise. Two, the people who followed him, would not have knowingly, and willingly died gruesome deaths. The miracles that came from Christ, and then those from his closest followers, would have been ousted as a lie, and Rome would have destroyed the movement. Because what Jesus did was true, and he was the Son of God, the long awaited messiah, the movement known as “the way” survived, and now thrives. Jesus fulfilled every prophecy and the odds of one man doing that is impossible, but because he is who he said he is, it’s truth. No one, not even his enemies refuted the miracles he performed. Only that he claimed to be God. And if he hadn’t performed the miracles, and claimed to be God they would not have been able to crucify him under the law, but because he is who he said he is, he indeed died on the cross, was buried, and indeed rose again, since his body was no longer in the tomb. For which, the Romans searched for, attempted to ascertain the truth. But, Jesus was gone, no longer buried in a cold, rock tomb, but risen. Christ would show himself risen to the world. He would make himself seen to over 500 people. No one could deny what they saw at the time. The once fearful apostles, that hid from everyone, stood bold in the town square and preached the name of Jesus to everyone. They were put in jail and still preached. They were beaten and still preached. One by one, they were murdered, and yet, they still preached. This does not happen, if Jesus died and they were lying the whole time. The risen Christ galvanized the 11 followers of Jesus, and then the rest to come. Jesus, the Lord of Lords, had risen, just as he predicted and promised he would. 

As my surgery approaches, it is this truth that has given me hope. I am a character living in God’s story. History, is His Story. I am just a character in His story, and my hope for my life is simply this, in all I do, do to please and glorify God. I just want to make my Abba proud of me. I cannot control tomorrow; all I can control is how I respond today. Let us go and keep our focus on God. Let us seek first the kingdom of God. Let us put our hope in the Lord Jesus, and have faith that He is with us. Even as he was with those three brave men in the fiery furnace, and he was with Daniel in the lions den, he is with us. As he was with David fighting a giant, and of course the promise from Jesus himself. I am with you always, even to the end of the age. We may not always like what approaches us, but in reality we don’t know the truth behind good and bad. Our perception of good and bad is based on the outward stimuli in our lives. Our sense of good and bad is based on how this stimuli affects us. We want to be happy, and we expect a certain sense of homeostasis. Anything that makes us uncomfortable, or anything that provides us pain. Anything that gives us grief, or goes against what we want in our life, we deem as bad. Is my needing heart surgery bad? While most would say, having a spouse have an affair is bad, but in reality, sometimes God uses such things to point us in a different path. Years later we often look back and what once was the worst thing that had every happened to us, became the best thing. God’s sovereignty, and omnipresence, and not just omnipresence, but that God is everywhere and every when. Whatever we’re going through God already knows the outcome. Does that not give you a sense of relief? The God of the universe cares about your well being, and because of that, you can go about your day free from worry about the details of your tomorrow. If tomorrow is already written, all we must do as Christians, is face tomorrow with an attitude that Abba has you in his hands, and we just respond with whatever would please God. We are free to enjoy the beauty of this world. We are free to experience God’s wonderful creation, and love people the way Christ loves us. We respond to hardships with joy, and peace. We respond to people with love and edification. We lift them up in prayer, we show them scripture, or we show them Christ depending if they are a believer or not. We must face the day with a knowledge of what scripture tells us, and we live our lives within the confines of the Word of God. Find peace in His name. Find comfort in God’s word. Find joy in the trials. Never give up and never quit. Never stop doing good. Never give in to the temptation of this world, but hold fast within the Armor, and be the Christian that puts a smile on Gods face, that makes him proud of you, so when the day comes, we will hear, “Well done my good and faithful one.” 

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The Road Less Traveled 

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The Road Less Traveled 

I woke up and the pain was worse than it was the night before. Throughout the day the pain medication just wasn’t working anymore. A call to the hospital nurse on duty led to the decision to visit the local bed and breakfast. That’s what I like to call the local VA. One, two and then three scans later, all I was expecting to find was some gas build up in my right shoulder, a residual from the surgery. What happened next is still difficult for me to talk about. When I do, I choke down my tears, stiffen that upper lip, and keep moving forward. While yes, there was gas in my shoulder, what the scans found was far more ominous. A ticking time bomb, For years I’ve been walking around, living my life, as if there were nothing wrong. How wrong could I have been? That’s how we live our life though isn’t it? Do we ever wake up and consider our own mortality? Is today the day we are to die? No one looking to the future thinks about all the hardships they will endure. People generally consider the future in a positive light, even though our lives are testament to the hardships we endure, our futures in our minds are bright and full of life. Scripture tells us the dangers of making claims of what we might do tomorrow. James 4:13-15. After hearing probably the hardest news of my life, aside from my ex-wife’s affair, I have been faced with the realization that life never goes the way we intend. Instead of traveling this holiday, I will be recovering from a life altering surgery. Who wakes up one morning from routine surgery only to find out the life they’ve been given is in danger of ending because of a silent killer inside their chest? The scans showed that I have an inflamed aorta in my heart. Unfortunately there is only one way to fix it, and that’s to have open heart surgery. The blow to one’s psyche is beyond anything I have faced. Learning of this heart defect has been the hardest emotional battle of my life. The enormous amounts of feeling I have felt is nothing I’ve experienced. Even having gone through two affairs, this emotional trial is not the same. I have felt responsible for causing hardship upon my family. I have felt weak. I have felt scared, and even worthless. I have felt as if my faith is weak, but I know it is not. Heart surgery will not be the end of me. God provided the scans to find it now, rather than me dying one random day from an aorta rupture. Five months ago I engaged in a foot race with one of the youth from church. The hernia on my right side bulged. It put me in the hospital to lead to surgery to repair not one but two hernias. Here in November I have surgery and a week later I have complications which put me in the emergency room. Doing scans to find out if there was gas in my shoulder from the surgery, something unusual showed up, an enlarged aorta. God it seems has spared me, but for what, I do not know. 

In the last few days I have experienced random bouts of crying for reasons unknown. Even though I have accepted what is to come, my mind seems to be working through the heaviness I feel. While I have the utmost faith in God, and trust His plan, the weight is still heavy, and at times feels crushing. How does one reconcile their faith, and the flesh feelings that flood my mind? The enigma of my mind does not escape my attention. “Why, am I crying?” has been a statement I’ve often said recently. What has years of therapy done for me? I believe it has prepared me for this day. What has years of hardship done for me? I believe it has prepared me for this day. While people often say, “God never gives you more than you can handle,” is not actually true. That’s not what the scripture says. 1 Corinthians 10:13 “13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.” The way to escape, what does that mean? The way to escape is putting your hope and faith in Christ, Jesus. Growing closer to the spirit and allowing the spirit to dwell within you. By placing your joy upon Jesus Christ, so nothing can take it from you.

While I have experienced many hardships in my life, and I have felt strongly about some of them, this particular issue has affected me differently than those before. While my broken heart during my divorce was real, and I had very strong emotions, this literal broken heart is a different kind of emotion. While I do not know the future, I have attempted to make plans after heart surgery. This has allowed me the opportunity to control some of the emotions by building hope into the equation. When we have something to look forward to, it often gives us a positive outlook on the negative event. The silver lining perhaps. 

It has amazing, the apathetic nature of people today. Do we truly not feel anymore? I have been doing what I thought was right, and inform people who might care about me, that I have to have this open-heart surgery. The replies I have received have shocked and baffled me. Most of them, “Okay, praying for you.” Just, okay? Is open heart surgery routine now? There have been little to know follow ups, to ask any other questions. Is this a lack of care about me? Is this a sign of the times that we just grow so distant that apathy is now the rally cry for people? This has solidified a few things in my mind about where I stand with others. Little to no priority. While this may be the truth, or it may not be, it’s the way it looks. I am reminded to keep my focus on the Lord because to Him, I am someone. “You can come to Him just as you are, let him have your broken heart.” (Casting Crowns) 

Feeling welcome or apart of something has always been hard for me. I have often felt like the outcast, that I didn’t fit in. In God’s Heaven, I will fit in. I will find a place I belong. Jesus chose me before the foundations of the world. In him I have hope where he raised my heart from death to life. I walked in darkness without him. I walked by my own set of rules. I walked by my own desires. I was a dead man walking. Jesus changed my heart. Jesus opened my dull, blind eyes to see the truth. Jesus changed my mind to see through the lies of the world, the lies of the deceived, Satan. The faith that can move mountains, and the hope that can withstand the battle waged all around. The greatest miracle of all is the raising of the dead. The changing of a single heart from dead to life. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, no one gets to the father but through Him. While people will fail you, and oh believe me, they will fail you, Jesus never will. We think people should act a certain way. Say certain things, but in reality, people are fallen creatures. It may be, I don’t mean to people what they mean to me. Or it may mean people just don’t know what to say. Either way, all I can do is inform people I think want to know, and let the chips fall where they may. 

There are words from another casting crowns: (Just Be Held)

Hold it all together

Everybody needs you strong

But life hits you out of nowhere

And barely leaves you holding on

And when you’re tired of fighting

Chained by your control

There’s freedom in surrender

Lay it down and let it go

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away

You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held

Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place

I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held

Just be held, just be held

I feel this song is what I’m going through right now. Since 2016, God has given me the right music to provide comfort when I needed it. Today is no different. I cannot sit here angry. Jesus is on the throne, and I cannot control the outcome of tomorrow. I can only control my actions in this moment. I may not be able to control every thought, but my focus being on the Lord minimizes the flesh. Jesus is always enough, and in all things, glory to the one who deserves our prayers, and worship. The one who calmed the storm, healed the blind man, turned water to wine, and defeated death, my praise and worship, into his hands I give my heart. Jesus is always enough. No matter what I’m going through and endure here in this life, Heaven is on the horizon. In a short while, I will join Him in paradise, and all my tears, all my pain, all my sorrow will be a distant past, and eternity is my future. Jesus is all there is. My heart is literally broken, but one day, a new heart will beat within my chest, and today, I will rejoice in being set free from the life I lived. I have faith, and I have hope, and the devil will never take that from me. Jesus is always enough. Let us pray. 

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20 Years 

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20 Years 

We were taking fire, and we were cut off from any support, we two trucks were alone, against the city. Any notion I had of being there to make a difference disappeared in an instant. When the bullet ricocheted off my door next to my head, I knew we were in trouble. That was the first miracle. There would be many more miracles to come. The RPG wouldn’t get fired, because of a well aimed .50 cal volley. The IED’s wouldn’t breach the cab. The second, third, and fourth RPG wouldn’t make direct contact with the truck. Neither gunner would be hit. The truck which tried to block our way would be an annoyance more than a hinderance, and both in the truck would meet Jesus that day. Along with the truck driver, and his friend, more would meet Jesus that day, by our hands. The gunner on my truck would have to abandon clearing the jam on the Mk-19 and use him M-16. Nearly going black on ammo, he never stopped returning fire with his small rifle. The final miracle would be my truck, which had lost all its fluids except gas. When I removed my foot from the pedal the truck died and wouldn’t start for nearly 6 weeks. There was so much damage to the engine from bullets it would take weeks to repair. 

         It’s an odd thing surviving such a well laid out trap. We walked right into it, and yet, we survived and many of them did not. While direct contact like that would be rare for our platoon, it was something I wouldn’t easily forget. I would also not forget the feeling I had during the attack. The bullet hit my door and both hands flung to the wheel. A calm rested upon me, and as chaos erupted inside the cab, I was at ease. Screaming, and bullets flying, along with explosions, and that young 20-year-old was not phased, not till the truck died and we were back with the other trucks. Once the truck died that’s when the peace I felt went away revealing the terrified, and very shook, kid. Was that the Holy Spirit resting upon me? I believe now, it was. I believe God sent a circle of protection around us, and saw us out to safety. Nothing else explains how we survived. When the insurgent had us dead to right and yet the gunner in the truck ahead of us made an impossible shot. Or the RPG that somehow flew just overhead, but close enough to sever the antenna of the truck in front of us. Or the other RPG that just barely missed either truck, but close enough to explode taking out my front right tire. How were they unable to stop either vehicle even when they blocked the path with a pickup truck. God was with us, protecting us. 

While I am aware that this following verse is for Israel, not for a small scout unit, I believe in my heart, this is what we experienced.

Deuteronomy 20:1-4 20 “When you go out to battle against your enemies and see horses and chariots and people more numerous than you, do not be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, who brought you up from the land of Egypt, is with you. 2 When you are approaching the battle, the priest shall come near and speak to the people. 3 He shall say to them, ‘Hear, O Israel, you are approaching the battle against your enemies today. Do not be fainthearted. Do not be afraid, or panic, or tremble before them, 4 for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you.’

I cannot say what our odds were of survival, but it was not in our favor. And other than modern technology of our armored trucks, we still had little odds of both trucks making it out that day. What are the odds that not one of us would get hurt, not even the gunners? No, I say the Lord was with us, and his protection rested upon us, his Spirit guided me and kept me calm. We were not just lucky, we were blessed. 

2 Corinthians 10:3-4 3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, 4 for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses.

I march in the battle with the sword raised high. I’m still a soldier today, fighting a new enemy. The fight, the war for not our lives, but our souls. I’m a soldier, ready to deploy, all of my enemies, they tremble at the name of my general. I fought for the Red, White, and the Blue, and nearly died there. I lost part of myself in the hot desert, but the Lord of all found me broken and pieced me back together for a greater purpose. I fight for Him, I fight for a purpose greater than any on this earth. I fight for those who cannot fight for themselves. I fight for those who don’t know him, that they may have a chance. I fight and if necessary pay the ultimate price, to share one name, one single name above all names, my Lord, my Savior, Jesus Christ. If you knew him, you’d understand. See, He, the Lord of all, paid the ultimate price for you and me. Jesus laid down his life so we would know he was and is Lord. 

Fallen Soldiers, we stand on your shoulders. How many have died for us to know the name of Christ today. How many have died to have the Bible in English. The church is built on the blood of others. Starting first with Christ and his Apostles, and thousands of others. Even now brothers and sisters in Nigeria are shedding their blood for their faith. We must stand together, and stand tall, ready yourselves, and may we continue to sing praises for our savior. Let us lift up the name of Jesus so the darkness itself cries out in fear. 

It’s been twenty years since I saw evil face to face on the battlefield. But for me the battle isn’t over. My enemy is both the same and different, as it is against the father of lies, and his myriad of demons. While the projectiles that come my way are no longer bullets, bombs, or rockets, I am still under constant spiritual attack. While I survived the battle, only to come home to a foreign place. I recall it took me six months to find a job, and to do that I was forced to rely on a temp agency. The only work I could find was very difficult manual labor. It wasn’t even skilled work. In the years that followed, it seemed the best I had to offer was not worth much. 

One afternoon working my post I was flagged down by some students at the university I worked at. A student was going into anaphylactic shock. He ingested a cookie with something he was allergic too. I took off running down the hall as fast as I could to my bag. I grabbed my epinephrin pen and ran back, to quickly administer the life saving injection. Not long after the paramedics arrived and took over. In less than six months I had been given officer of the year for the district, which covered thousands of officers. I worked for the company for six years, but in my time of need, I was let go, forgotten like yesterday’s trash. Is that all I was, all that time? Just a body filling a space? Over the next couple years I would move into a more skilled position. Sadly, that position, although I loved it, would be marred by conflict. Eventually I would be injured on the job and during my recovery I would not hear from the company at all. All the talk about being a family, the company being more than a job, and yet once I was injured, that family was nowhere to be seen. Again, is that all I was, just a warm body filling a vacant position? 

Truth be told, in recent years I have struggled with the concept of relevance. While I don’t strictly have an answer for this, I am doing my best, to do my best. It hasn’t been an easy few years. Going from working to early medical retirement. As my body degrades and the cost of doing just about anything becomes more costly, I find it difficult to navigate the slew of emotions that are left behind. My desire to serve remains, but it seems the use for what I have to offer is lacking. Being retired is fun, being retired with no money is just boring. I have dreams and things I’d like to do, but the reality is without funds, most of it doesn’t get done. I have things I’d like to do, but ultimately it comes to this, what does God want me to do? In 2016, God spared my life, and saved me. Now, I’m living my life, trying to serve Him, and do the best I can. I keep searching for some grand plan He has for me, but now eight years later, I still don’t know His plan. While, I am waiting to hear from God on what my purpose is, I continue to write, and teach from behind this keyboard. I continue to bring the word to anyone who would listen from my podcast. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV3r024gS2FRDIbpqnsDwWA

Living with chronic pain is not an easy journey. Often confused with pain from old age, this is not that. As I said, it’s been 20 years. It surprises me what we were willing to put our bodies through in the service of our country. I served in a time when patriotism was still high from the 9/11 attacks. I wouldn’t trade my service for anything though. Do I pay for it now? Sure I do, my body often struggles with just basic tasks, and seeing as if I’m only 40 years old, it’s a challenge. Life isn’t an easy road, and when you add in the life of a Christian, it adds significant challenge. We must face the reality of where we find ourselves, and not get stuck. While I don’t know what God wants from me, nor where am I intended to be, all I can do is serve the best I can one day at a time. Perhaps that’s all we can ever truly do. As scripture said, worry not for tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry for itself. Maybe the lesson to be gleaned is this, do the best you can today, with what you’ve been given. While I’m sure there is always a bigger picture, we have opportunities today. I guess the saying is true, ‘Today needs you, tomorrow can wait.’ Twenty years ago I survived, and although I can still see it clearly, I must remain focused on the needs of this day. Faith is what I live by today, and it’s that faith that tells me to keep going, keep pushing forward, keep fighting the good fight. I was a soldier once, fighting for a nation, and today I’m a soldier, fighting for the kingdom of God. May we never forget our battles, for they give the fight meaning, what we learn, what we experience, we may grow from. Never grow weary, and never surrender the fight. 

Today I remember the fight, the details remain in my mind, and I am thankful for God’s protection. There would be many more days of fight ahead, and some far removed from my time in the desert. A part of me is still there, even after all these years. A part of me died there I think. The young kid, full of life, and laughter is not the adult that left the desert behind. The last day in Iraq I remember sitting on the ground, my bag for a pillow, waiting for the helicopters to come pick us up. It seemed surreal at the time. Were we really leaving? That was it, just one day, the war was over for me. The ambush came so early in the deployment but it set the tone for the remainder time in Camp Ramadi. I would never view life the same. The constant awareness would become second nature. The constant threat assessment would be commonplace for me. The losses we feel every day in our hearts would not go away as easily as us flying from the base in a helicopter. The weight we carry has been with us ever since. War changes a person, and unless you experience it, it’s hard to explain. The battle for Iraq lasted more than 15 years and I have often wondered what did we gain? When I arrived there I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to free the Iraqi people from a régime that threatened their way of life, and held them hostage under the thumb of a ruthless dictator and his sons. Looking back, and experiencing the hurt, and the betrayal as I watched on TV. As ISIS took control of Ramadi. Why were we there, if it was just going to be given to a new enemy? Answers sadly would not come as the hurt funneled into my heart. What was a soldiers life worth? The scars left behind by that place are much like the wound Frodo wound experience on Weathertop, a wound that would never fully heal. 

I am still a soldier, albeit broken, and slower than I used to be. I still rise every day ready to fight the good fight, and know that war while we live might be inevitable, are only battles in the grand scheme of things. But Jesus will win the war. Jesus will return with a mighty army and slay the enemies of the throne. I a soldier in His grand army, continue to fight, but instead of bullets, and tanks, I fight with the Holy Word of God. I do not fear death, for death comes for us all. I believe when death comes I would welcome it as a release from my time in service, and allowed to finally go home, and finally rest. Jesus paid the price for my sins, and one day he will grant my leave. That day may not be today, or tomorrow, but till then, I soldier on, and I continue to fight the good fight, and I continue to stand my ground against all my enemies, the chief enemy, the father of lies, Satan. I shall continue to pick up my sword, tighten the straps of the Armor of God I so willingly wear, and prepare for battle today, the next day, the next battle, each and every day, I fight. 

To those who came home still in the fight, I pray for you. 

To those who didn’t come home, I fight to honor your sacrifice. 

To those who serve or served I salute your service. 

For more reading:

The Longest Road 

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The Arrow Preacher Podcast: The Truth Will Make You Free

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Jesus talks to the Pharisees and tells them the truth makes them free, but they have hardened hearts and do not see the Christ.

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John 8: 31-36
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A Godly life

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Follow me as we dive into living a Godly life.

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The Arrow Preacher Podcast: A Godly Life (Friday Edition)
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Beyond Measure

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Beyond Measure 

Since becoming a true Christian, something I’ve heard in that time is “You Can’t Outgive God.” I’d say that’s beyond true. When I became a Christian, not that I didn’t grow up knowing who Christ was, but when I truly understood and surrendered to Him, the creator of the universe, I found a new understanding. In recent years I have found myself fighting for every inch on the football field of life. In the last several years I have struggled financially, living paycheck to paycheck, barely scrapping the bottom of the barrel every month. See, I live in a tent in the back yard of my mother’s house. I’ve lived in a tent for three years now. It isn’t a small camping tent, but it is still at the heart of it, a tent. It’s hot in the summer, and cold in the winter. Until recently the winters could be rough. Having power but not fire, I was able to only heat a maximum of 30 degrees at great financial cost. 30* each night would raise my bill nearly 200-$300 dollars. Thankfully this year someone donated a pellet stove but came at the end of winter and was no use to me, so far anyway. Summers are hot, with no shade, and the temperature inside the tent can become upwards of 130*F. A bit hot, I’d say. While, I’m not complaining at all, this is the life that I had been handed, and I have been making the best of my situation. Recently I was about to leave the house and before I did, I checked my bank account and saw $68 left. While of course it was enough for the end of the month, it wasn’t enough to buy any groceries. Money has been the bane of my existence for some time now. 

Years ago, I remember asking God for patience. I had undergone hardship and loss. Having such a small income, and worsening health, my ability to work became less likely. Somehow, the Lord has supplied every need I’ve had over the last several years. In times of absolute need the Lord would supply me with the means to manage a problem, even from as far away as a longtime friend who sent me money to help. Though she did not know what my need was, she sent money anyway, because she felt I needed help. The amount she sent was the exact amount I needed to fix my car. And of course, we cannot forget the winter stove which was anonymously donated. That stove will change my life in this upcoming winter. While those are only two examples, there are many more over the last 8 years. The Lord saved my life in the back of an ambulance when all those in the ambulance thought my days were done, the Lord had other plans for me. How magnificent is the Lord and His ability to take the most awful things, and turn them into blessings. Not knowing how the bills would be paid, and certainly not knowing how I’d be able to put food on the table, or fix things when needing to be fixed, the Lord has taught me patience, by immersing me in situations where patience was needed. There has been another virtue the Lord has taught me along with patience, and that’s been trust, and faith. Faith in Him, and knowing in that faith that He will work things out. Not that I won’t have trouble, but He is with me in that trouble. 

Over the last several years as I mentioned, my health has been deteriorating. Not a day goes by I am not in a tremendous amount of pain. I have done my best to try and enjoy life, and to do things with the youth at my church, go for hikes, and walks, do my own yard work, but as I said recently and many times before, “everything I do comes at a cost.” The key is whether or not I am able and willing to pay the cost. As a famous line in a marvel film once said, “The bill comes due, always.” Thankfully Jesus paid the ultimate bill for me, a bill I could have never paid for. Having very little chance to work and make any significant amount of money, I have found myself concerned about my future. Would I ever be able to take care of my family? It is no secret inflation has risen in the United States, but sadly the veteran income does not equal a living wage. Where I live the average rent in around $1200 a month, and that’s recently just the bad neighborhoods. Sad to say, that’s what I used to pay for a pretty nice apartment back in the day. Now, it’s just the crime ridden places, that this is the cost of rent alone. Now, with the average being 12-1500 a month, let’s take a look at veteran pay. For a 100% the average income (Which is public record) is around $3900. It doesn’t take a budget expert to see where this could become a problem. After you take rent, and add insurance, and other exploding bill cost, you can see where even an apartment would be very tight. Sadly, for me, a few years back, I was faced with several very large bills in which I couldn’t pay for, and it left me with credit card debt I couldn’t get out from under. I was facing a fire, one that I could not put out, but only mildly control. A few more emergencies and those balances would nearly max the account. Again, am I complaining, no, it’s just the facts. In order for us to understand the enormity of the Lords blessings we must understand the enormity of our situations. Much like my debt problem, that I couldn’t pay off, we have a debt problem we couldn’t pay off either. Jesus paid that debt. Jesus willingly came to earth, placed himself in harm’s way, took himself out of safety and perfection to come to this dismal little planet, live a sinless but difficult life, and then hang on a tree he created for himself to be crucified and buried for our transgressions. He paid a bill for not just one person, but the entirety of the worlds transgressions, but why? 

We are sinners by birth, a curse passed down from Adam to the rest of humanity. We are born with a debt, a mark we cannot hope to pay. We in our sin nature reject God. You do not have to teach a child to hit someone when they get angry, they do that on their own. You do not have to teach a child to lie, they do that on their own. You do not need to teach a child not to share, they do that all on their own. As Voddie Baucham once said, “Vipers in Diapers”. By our very nature we are born with sin, born with an innate sense of pride, and we want things our way. Have you ever seen a child throw a tantrum in a store because they didn’t get what they wanted? That’s the natural behavior of a child, and yet somewhere along the line we have people teaching that we are innately good. It is only by God’s grace and mercy are we good, and only good by earthly standards. By holy standards, none are good, nor are they righteous, no, not one. Jesus paid for our sins, He paid the debt we could not, by his own life. I heard it said once, if you scratch a car in a junkyard no one cares. But if you scratch a Ferrari or some other nice car, you’d likely go to jail for it. The story came with a point, it’s the value of a thing that makes it so special. Jesus was valuable which is why his life was enough to pay for the rest of humanity. He was perfect, God incarnate, and thus His sacrifice, to be the spotless lamb, would be enough to pay the debt, to be the propitiation, the substitution on our behalf. We are sinners, in need of a savior, and Jesus was that sacrifice so we may have restitution with the Father. 

In the last few years, I had become increasingly aware of the mounting debt I couldn’t get out from underneath. Having realized I’d never work again, I didn’t know how I would manage. I didn’t know how I could take care of my family. If I was ever blessed with a child, I didn’t know how I would ever be able to provide. The nights of stress kept me awake. In recent months my car had begun making strange sounds in the front tire area, and in recent days that sound turned from bad to worse as metal on metal could be heard. Needless to say, my concern for a major repair cost was on my mind. Why would God place this physical burden upon me, but not change anything else? Why wouldn’t God heal me so I could go to work to take care of my family? In recent years, especially this year, teaching and ‘preaching’ the word of God has become my primary job, yet one I do not make a single penny for. Years of telling God I wouldn’t do well as a pastor, or preacher, God it seems thought I was funny. I continued to tell God what I wouldn’t do, and here I am, writing about God’s grace, and sovereignty. A few months back the Lord provided me the way to get a mic and a cheap camera for my computer. I resumed my podcast, and now I do two podcasts a week and I still write. While I don’t get paid for what I do, the Lord has called me to do this ministry, and I have obeyed His call. Having not worked now for over 20 months, I have found I enjoy putting together lessons and being in His word. Very few days go by when I am not opening the Bible and learning something new. The days I do not get a chance to dive in, at the very least I am reading a devotional. Very recently I have started a prayer journal, and keep up daily with prayers and praises to the Lord. As my car’s looming repair was over my head, (and at the time of this writing, has not been repaired) I knew I was in trouble. The Lord’s timing is perfect. 

Over the last several months I have been preparing for a social security trial in which I would go before a judge and plead my case, with the help of a lawyer. I was under no illusions my case, while strong, wasn’t a sure thing. Patience has been the keyword in my life for a while. Waiting several months on end for a decision, only to be rejected, and having to move forward to the next phase, has taught me valuable lessons. Through our entire life we often try to feebly make our way through life, using our own idea to fix things on our own volition. We often think we know what’s best and we try to fix things on our own. When we try to fix things on our own apart from God, we most frequently screw it up. Thankfully, patience, and trust have left me with a new respect for God, and to trust His plan. I have learned to trust God and to do so with His timing, and not my own. God has shown me He is greater than all my own understanding, and by trusting in Him, I believe I am being, for lack of a better term, rewarded. My continued faith through adversity and strife, has brought me here, where the Lord in His mercy and grace, has shown me favor, and thus providing me ‘a way out’. It is said the Lord will not put more on you then you can handle, but the true statement is the Lord will not allow you to undergo temptation without a way out. Jesus is the way out of temptations. I believe my situation has given me insight to the difficulty in life itself. I am, thankfully seeing a change in situation, a change in the winds upon my face, and the seas ahead. 

As I am expected to see significant changes in my life, I am left knowing that all my struggles, and time have not been in vain. All my strife has not been for nothing. The Lord uses everything we go through, from the traumas of living in a broken world, to the test He himself may bring upon us to discipline us, or to strengthen our resolve. What the devil uses for evil, the Lord will use it for good. While I do not know the reason for the years of struggle, and now the sudden reversal of fortune, one thing has stood out to me, it will not be an easy transition. I am very aware of my concerns of returning to a life of poverty, and worse my failing to provide for my family. I believe that while it has yet to dawn on my brain the nature of what’s about to change, I will, in time adapt, albeit keep a close eye on the devil and his desire to destroy me. I have spent years trying to rebuild my life, and while I will remain in this beautiful white, canvas tent, I will be able to pay forward the blessings the Lord has given to me. While I do not know what that looks like, the Lord’s people are never shy of need. Years ago it brought me great joy, and I believe a greater joy to the Lord, for me to provide a car for a friend. Paid for by my hard work in the military. How I have wished to be able to be there like that, for people again. I do not know what my future holds, nor am I brazen enough to say all my worries will end, but Lord willing, I will have some time to breathe, and perhaps enjoy a little of God’s beautiful creation. God blesses each of us in different ways. The biggest blessing I have been blessed with, is not a change of fortune financially, but that of love. I was brought to this place, and not by chance was I introduced to those whom I would now call family. The Lord’s providence is at work, even when we do not see it, He’s working. 

I think back to the 400 years of silence between the Old and New Testaments. Was God sitting down playing games, not paying attention to us little people? No, he was moving pieces, working in the world, setting up governments, they would rise and fall, and change the landscape of the world. Eventually Rome would take over and through Rome, roads, and pathways, cities, and trade were established. These things made the way for the Gospel to be moved throughout the known world. Why was Christ born when he was? So that he would die on the cruelest torture device ever created by man. So His disciples would go and spread His Gospel to the known world. God was working then, and He’s still working now. We cannot ever know just how many tragedies He’s saved us from, or how many wrong choices we’ve avoided because of His intervening. We just don’t know what He’s actually doing. What we do know is God is good and wants good for us. Do we put ourselves aside to do His work? Do we bring Christ into every aspect of our lives, or do we just say hello on Sunday and Wednesday? Do others know we are a Christian because we always talk about it, or show Christ in our daily actions? Or would you die and no one would have known one way or another? Life is short, a vaper in the cosmos, and we have a great opportunity to seek God, because if you have the desire, it means He’s calling you. No one comes to the father unless He calls them first. Sheep do not come unless they are called. Our blessings are beyond measure; beyond anything we could comprehend. Our blessings far exceed our wildest imaginations, considering what treason, what being an enemy of the throne would bring as punishment. Death, certain death, but not a death outside of existence, but the soul survives the death of the body, therefore leaving an eternal punishment of the soul. No one is sent to Hell from God, but rather, in our obstinance, in our defiance, in our own lust for power and control, we walk the wide path straight to the fires of Hades, Hell. Christ’s gift to us, his freely given gift of grace and mercy every moment of every day, that we are not wiped from existence, but rather a gift of salvation, or being made clean of our sins, so that we may through our faith in him, enter into Heaven. Sadly, in this life, we are seeing nations falling to their desires, their lusts of power. While the Lord may hand people over to their own demise, some will remain who chose to accept the Lords’ gift, and will lay everything aside to follow Him. The rewards are beyond measure, but for me, I’d do it without the rewards. I seek no rewards, other than one sentence. “Well done, my good and faithful son.” I want to please my Lord, I want to know He’s proud of me in what I’ve become, and what I’ve fought through to be. I want to be known as a servant for Christ, and have him be pleased and proud of me. All I want is his hug and acceptance of me. I don’t wish to have bobbles, or jewels, or mansions, just to be with my Abba Father for all eternity is reward for me. It’s a gift beyond measure, so no matter the hardships faced, and those I’ve yet to endure, I pray for the Lords strength to replace my own, as I try to be a good man in the sight of the Lord. A man who God loves, and a man He’s proud of. God’s in control, He’s the good captain, and I’m just trying to do my best, and follow His commands. God has not made me a rich man of money, but a man rich in love. God has shown me favor in His love, and perhaps someday, I will no longer call this beautiful white tent home, but maybe, just maybe, I’ll have a real home, made of brick and mortar. Lord willing. The greatest gift the Lord has ever given was the gift of life through his Son Jesus dying on the cross. He created us for a relationship to Himself, and redeemed us in his Son.

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The Best Captain 

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The Best Captain 

In the middle of a storm now, the ship tossed by the waves. Daylight isn’t on the radar right now, but this ship’s strong. It’s got the best captain guiding it. The ship creaks as the waves pound against her hull. I look up and see the mast groans as the waves crash over the deck. The sky’s been dark for many nights now. No stars to guide, but somehow the captain knows. We’ve all wondered how He knows, where are we going and how do we get there, when we can’t see? He tells us all He knows the way, and it’ll be okay. The ship’s old, but she’s not done yet. Her bones are tough, as the waves break upon her hull. Aye, the Captain tells us all to be of good cheer in the midst of the storm. “It build’s good character”, He yells from the helm. 

I’ve been on ship for 30 years now, and He’s not driven to land yet. He’s avoided disaster more times than I could count. The deep calls us all, and desires us to break apart in the storms. The deep has a mind of its own, but the Captain’s to resolved and maintains the course to prosperous seas. Sometimes I can hear the darkness beckon to me, it tells me all is lost. The Captain seems to always know, as it happens, Captain shouts encouragement to me. Many years ago, the dark nearly took me. I fell overboard when a rogue wave hit the ship so hard it jeered and I flew overboard. I thought for sure the waters would take me, but somehow, the Captain dove in and pulled me up. He said, ‘Your sailing days aren’t done yet.’ No more words were ever spoken about it, but I knew the Captain saw something in me that day. Didn’t have to risk Himself for me, but ever since, it’s felt like He’s kept a special eye on me. 

The sharks can be seen circling the ship. Do they smell blood in the water? Do they look forward to me being tossed overboard again? Minions of the dark they are. They seem scared of the Captain though. I swear sometimes I can hear the Captain say, ‘not today!’, and they flee from sight. I don’t know or understand the power the Captain has over the seas, but it’s like it bows to His commands. Even though the sea doesn’t always calm, we navigate through the storms and often in the darkest of nights, Captain’s always watchful. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the Captain never sleeps. Sometimes I take the helm, but as soon as I do it seems another storm billows in, and He’s right back on the wheel. He just says, “have faith”. So I let go of the wheel, and give her back over to the Captain.

The storm is raging on, the lighting cracks in the sky, and I can barely hear Captain’s orders. The darkness surrounds the ship, as she creaks and groans in the treacherous waves. Fear of the ship running aground, or breaking up, or worse, I get tossed over, leaves me trembling with worry. The waves crash over the rail, and I take the full force of the wall of water. I’m wet, and cold, fear grips me, and I fall to my knees and begin to cry. Just as I do a hand touches my shoulder. “‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your CAPTAIN. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’” Cap knows just what to say when I need it. 

In the eye of the storm, you are in the control. Captain my Captain, I follow you. The sails rip and tear, but you don’t worry. I can’t see beyond the bow of the ship, but you say, “In me have faith. I will steer you home.” I worry about much, but my Captain knows. The tears pour down my face, but I find peace in the word Cap gives me. When the sails are torn, it seems Cap’s love surrounds me even more. I look to the East and I can see a glint of light. I tremble to my feet, and I say, “I trust you, Captain.” Cap looks to me and says, “The son rises, so you should have hope.” 

I sought after my Captain, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. With the Captain on my side; I will not fear. What can this storm do to me?  The Captain looks down and yelled to me, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” I stumbled up the stairs to the wheel, and said, “Cap, I’ve been following for a while, and I don’t even know your name.” 

He replied, “I am who I am. I am the way, the truth the life. I am the alpha and the omega. I am the Good Shepherd whom you’ve heard my voice. I am the Lion, and the Lamb. I am Emmanuel, I am Jesus, your Captain. And I’ve got you. Trust in me, and I will see you through to the end of the age, when I welcome you home, when we reach the shores of my Kingdom. You will then have rest. Till then, we’ve got work to do.” 

I fell to my knees and kissed the feet of my salvation. I arose, and grabbed hold of the rope as the ship teetered in the continued waves.

“Fear Not” Jesus said, and peace fell over me, yet while still in the storm. And I was not afraid. 

Jesus may not stop the storms from happening, but He’s right there with us in the midst of them. We cannot face the dark, and face the demons in the dark with fear. Jesus goes before us, and He is with us. The demons tremble and fear him, and if we lose our lives then life is gained. We must trust He knows which way to go, and we must not try to continue to take the wheel from Him. Let us let go, and Let God. The sun rises in the East, and some day, He’ll return from the East. Faith, we must put our faith in Him. 

Written By: 

Rev. Jacob Keiffer

Right In Their Own Eyes

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Right In Their Own Eyes:

Judges 21:25 (NASB95)  25 In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes.

It’s no secret what’s going on in college campuses across the country. It’s no secret what’s going on in the country as far as wokeness goes. We see the reimplementation of segregation, and riots, chants calling death to Israel, and the USA. We see wars in Israel, and in Ukraine. What we are seeing is hate. Rampant hate. 

Zephaniah 2:1 Gather yourselves together, yes, gather,

O nation without shame,

Today in this world, we see a twofold issue. One: we have no solid leadership that fears the Lord. I’d say this from either the Left, or the Right. It appears in an age when the rally cry is that there is no absolute truth, which, in itself is an absolute truth, thereby irrelevant. An age when people are making things up, changing definitions at a whim, and in absolute certainty, not fearing the Lord. 

Today in this country, and many countries around the world, the last verse in Judges, and the First verse in Zephaniah 2, seem to be exactly where we are today. How far we’ve fallen from a country based on moral biblical beliefs. While no, not every founder believed in Jesus from the Bible, but the Bible principles are seen in the writings of the US. Constitution, and bill of rights. We’ve come a long way since 1776. While I would have said not long ago, racism wasn’t a big issue in the country, but one largely inflated by the media, I would say the recent events towards Jewish students and people is terrifying, and sadly proves me wrong. Not terrifying because I can’t believe it’s happening, but it’s terrifying because of what I think God may do. 

I enjoy my life, and I’m happy to live in a place where I am free to speak about my God, and the Bible. I’m happy to be able to worship without fear of reprisals from the government. But, and it’s a big but, I am disappointed in the nature of where we are as a country. The level of wokeness and the level of disrespect towards the flag, when college kids chant death to America, raise the flag of another nation, it’s utterly heart breaking for me to watch. We don’t respect the freedoms in the US. anymore. We don’t respect the men and women who died for freedoms in this country.  We’re not a perfect nation, no place is, but we are the oldest living republic, the land of the free, and sadly, so many just don’t care anymore. 

We are truly a nation without shame. We don’t care anymore about what’s morally correct, and go so far as to say what is truth? Haven’t we heard that before? Did not Pilate ask Jesus what is truth? (John 18:38) Indeed, so, when I see kids today being agitated, egged on by outside influences, my heart breaks. I’ve heard an argument recently that said the kids are not at fault, but they just want to fit in. Sadly, this isn’t an excuse for appalling, and sad behavior. I saw that the CEO of “HIMS” applauded the protestors, and the kids participating, and the irony that this man had the ability to make a multimillion dollar company in a place where capitalism still rules. A man who’s gotten rich from having a product. Yet, in the socialist society that they clamor to have, would take more than 50% of the profits for the government to use however it wants. Or, the very left protesting for Gaza is also ironic. LGBT rights in Palestine is not a thing. It’s prohibited. The LGTB community protesting and praising Iran for its role, and yet, you can die for being gay in Iran. You can be killed for showing your hair if you’re a woman. You cannot protest in Iran without fear of death and prison. I saw recently a student said the Constitution described “indigenous people as merciless Indian savages.” Yet, while this may have been said by a founder, people perpetuate a lie, and believe it without ever looking it up for themselves. No, the constitution does not say that. In fact it says this, “We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.” (https://constitutioncenter.org/the-constitution/full-text) And the Declartion of Independence says this, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”(https://www.archives.gov/founding-docs/declaration-transcript)  There’s a difference between what a document says and what a person felt in their heart. These documents have given us the pursuit of happiness, and the freedoms to worship and not be discriminated against for it. We were given a moral law from our creator to live by, and this country even through its flaws up until recently had come to a point where people were free to work and pursue their dreams. Now, Jews cannot walk on their college campus safely. As one Jew said on the news, it looked like the beginnings of Nazi Germany just before WWII. How far we’ve fallen. Inclusion, a lie, the truth is, only the ones they want to be included, Jew and Christians, not welcome. 

We have corrupted not only the work done to end segregation, and instead are beginning to institute this again. We are truly destroying what made this country great to start with. Opportunity. We don’t limit people who can work by age. We don’t discriminate based on sex, age, creed, religion, in the work place, yet we are called racist. We stand in the streets and cry for a victim. There always has to be a victim to cry for. 

So, now that I’ve said what we’re doing, how does all this connect with the verses? We have become a nation that does not fear the Lord. We worship the creation and we worship ourselves. We perpetuate lies about how this world was created as truth, even though it’s only a very broken theory. We worship sex, and we praise those who use sex as their way to the top. We worship social media, and we clamor to it like a moth to a flame. We scream about the death of the planet by way of greenhouse gases, yet we ignore how and where the materials come from for the electric vehicles they want. We worship the creation. Today, wisdom lacks. In the days where we have the most access to information, people are the most ignorant they’ve ever been. We march in the streets and show our pride, and we raise the pride flag and display it proudly, yet the Christian flag is offensive. We truly are a nation turning its back on God. Our kids do not know how to think, and think for themselves. They are led astray by theories, philosophies, secular ideals, and what’s wrong is right, and what’s right is wrong. We disrespect the peacemakers, who try to make it safe for us to live. College kids around the country are calling to get rid of the college police departments. We used to fear the Lord, now, the opinions of the Left, and even some of the Right, are in opposition to God’s word. Our leaders do not fear the Lord, and some actively spit in the face of scripture and God.  

As a Christian first, then a soldier, what’s happening around me is heartbreaking, and this is not a strong enough word to express how I feel. In my heart, I hurt for the lost. I hurt for those who face eternal condemnation before a righteous God. We say we don’t need God, but without God we are lost for eternity. Without Jesus Christ we are doomed to face death. The other problem is the counterfeit Gospel leading so many to Hell. So much going on, my breaking heart can hardly stand it. I want to scream it from the top of the mountains to follow Jesus, to trust in Him, to follow Him in faith and fear. I want to save my country, and I don’t want it to fall to destruction like Israel in times of old. I want to send up the flair of distress and get help for my beloved nation. I fought for this nation, and I fear for it. I fear for loved ones who do not know Christ. I fear that the judgment of the Lord is coming and we will soon see his wrath poured out upon this country, or worse, He just turns His back on us. I don’t want to feel like what I’m doing is in vain. I wish I knew if any of this mattered. I wish I knew if the hours of preparation for the podcasts, and the blog actually mattered. Does anyone benefit from it? Or am I the only one? 

Can we say here in America “In God We Still Trust”? I pray for this beautiful and free nation. I pray we see our wrongs and repent of what we’re doing. I pray for the kids who are being inundated with so many lies, and attacks. I pray for the children being exposed to sexuality, and impure ideals. I pray for kids and what their little eyes see. I pray our eyes are opened, the scales fall from them, and we see the Light of the world, Christ. I pray we turn from evil, and we stop celebrating sin. I pray we stop the attacks on the Jewish community, and Israel. I pray we stop the hate. I pray we stand firm on God’s word, and the truth, and continue to share the love of Christ, by telling people the truth. We cannot appease the world, if we are to share the saving word of Christ. If we truly love people, we MUST share God’s word with them. We must tell people the truth. The truth of Jesus Christ is the only hope we have. There is so much darkness, we must pray to be the ever-brightening light poking holes in the darkness. We must stand tall, and stand firm, and hold true to the word of God. As I have said before, we cannot expect morality from an immoral people. We must share the Gospel, and pray the Spirit touches hearts. We must stand up now, more than ever for the Word of God. We must share Jesus with everyone, and pray it’s not too late to repent before the judgment of the Lord comes down upon us. We are truly a nation of heahens, and we need to seek the face of the One and only Holy God. We need to seek Yahweh, the great I AM. We must fall upon our faces in reverential fear of the Lord. We must repent and follow Him. We must not continue on this path like a train headed for a cliff. Let us pray together for this country and pray for forgiveness, and repentance. 

Go in peace and love.

The Podcast is still going well, but I’d love if yall follow me there. I’m going through the book of John, and hope you join me for my weekly podcast. Right now, the podcast is on Monday’s or Tuesdays. And I do a short video at the end of the week. I’ve started doing interviews about Christian life and how and what that looks like for different people in different walks of life. 

Have a blessed week, and share the love of God. 

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The Bread of Life 

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The Bread of Life 

When we consider what this means, the bread of life, I’m sure many images come to mind. What about living water? In John 6:27, Jesus tells them they will receive the food which endure to everlasting life. Jesus will later tell them in verse 35 “And Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst.”  Jesus is the bread of life. 

In exodus we see the Israelites in the desert. They begin complaining about their hunger. First point: They complained about their hunger. Instead of complaining about something to God, why not just ask Him. Nowhere in scripture does it say they prayed to God to take care of their needs. No, it simply says they complained about it. They had very little faith, despite seeing the miracles so far performed by Moses, the vessel in which God chose to work. 

Despite listening to His people complain and not just ask, God is a merciful and patient. He gives them manna from Heaven, but with a couple rules regarding this substance. It was possibly some kind of substance to make bread. Here’s why I believe that. If the manna which came from Heaven every day was to sustain them, but only a day at a time, the next time a ‘food substance’ “bread of life” came from heaven, it would sustain them for eternity. Even though God set forth rules for the Hebrews in Exodus, some still didn’t listen. They had little faith in the God who freed them from Egypt. All they were required to do was have faith, and God the Almighty Father would provide their needs, water, food, and shelter. 

We today, are not much different. We don’t pray for our needs, instead we only pray for our wants. We don’t pray for guidance, instead we say, “I’ve got this.” In reality, we don’t want God to be a part of our daily life, we’re negligent in our relationship, or we treat God as a cosmic genie, to only come forth when we rub the lamp to give us our wish. Really, it’s quite amazing God doesn’t wipe us out and start over; how ungrateful we are. The Apostles prayer or as some of you call it, The Lords Prayer, really does tell us all we need to know. 

Matthew 6:9-13

9 In this manner, therefore, pray:

Our Father in heaven,

Hallowed be Your name.

10 Your kingdom come.

Your will be done

On earth as it is in heaven.

11 Give us this day our daily bread.

12 And forgive us our debts,

As we forgive our debtors.

13 And do not lead us into temptation,

But deliver us from the evil one.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

This prayer that Jesus teaches his disciples is a template. Not meant for repetitious prayer. This prayer shows us each section of what to pray from your heart. 

Who are you praying to? The Father of all creation. God almighty, in Heaven. 

Give the praise: Hallowed: to dedicate, to purify, to set apart. 

Relinquish your own control: God, it’s your Kingdom above, and Your will, will be done here on Earth as your will is done in Heaven. Lord Whatever you wish will be, and I trust you. 

Lord, thank you for your provision, thank you for the gift of life, the bread, the water, that you provide to us daily. 

Lord, please forgive our sins, they are many, and here they are. 

Lord, please forgive those who sin against us, as your son forgave them. Please they do not know what they do. 

Lord please help us face the temptation when it comes. Please strengthen our hearts, that we may not lean upon our own strength, but to trust and lean upon your Son, Jesus. Protect us from the Evil One who seeks to destroy and to separate us from you. 

For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. 

When we seek communion with the Father, we should do so with a humbled heart, and a heart of reverence. We should do so with a heart of fear for the Lord. What we should not do, is turn to God in complaint every step of our lives. 

What the Israelites failed to realize is, all they needed to do was to turn to God for their provisions. To trust in God who had already delivered them out of the hands of Pharaoh. But, in all reality, we do the same. We rarely turn to God in prayer, even more rare, do we open His Word to us, and yet we expect Him to jump at the first time we pick up the Heavenly phone and call upon His name. Again, cosmic genie. Sadly, we do not go to God with sorrow in our hearts, that we have not spoken to him in days, weeks, months, or years. What if we’ve never spoken to God? 

Jesus tells us, He’s the bread of life, he is the sustainer that gives us this bread, this life saving sustenance. Jesus said a lot during His ministry, His rescue mission of humanity, and during this time He said that the Father above loves us more than the birds, and the plants of the earth. Our choices in this life lead us down path after path, after path, and when we hit the brick wall going 95mph, we get mad, and turn to God to fix our mistakes. God loves you, but when you mess up in this life, there are still consequences. God will help pick you up, but you still have to deal with wherever you put yourself through, in your own choices. God will give you the chance however, to deal with those choices in a biblical way. How you get out of the hole you dug is dependent on you. 

When we mess up, we have the opportunity to turn to Christ in repentance of our disobedience, our poor choices, our sins, and do things right. It may take time to fix, and it will cause us to live our life differently, and to force change, but God will be there with us. Before Christ, we are dead in our sins. 

Ephesians 2:1-10

2 And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, 2 in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, 3 among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.

4 But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6 and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

We are dead in our trespasses. WE followed the Devil who is the prince of the Earth, and those who follow the will of the world. Once, before Christ, we lived in our lusts of the flesh, being fornicators, idolaters, thieves, liars, coveters, and more. We loved our sin, like a pig in mud, we rolled around in it, and enjoyed every second of it. But God shows us through His son, and by the touching of the Holy Spirit, we are not meant for that life, and He rescues us. God’s mercy and love, through the sacrifice of His son, bought your freedom, to redeem you, and in His life brought us back into right standing with the Father, in His Holy Kingdom. We would one day breathe our last, and when we believe in him, having picked up our cross to follow Him, we would have everlasting life. 

He gives us life, and having taken the bread of life, we are forever changed. We are unplugged from the world, much like unplugging from the Matrix. We no longer sleep, blind to the world, the sins, the evil around us, we awaken from our slumber, and see the truth. Jesus Christ is the Son of God, the only son of the Father, who was crucified, died and was buried. He rose again and made himself known to his Apostles and hundreds of others. He stayed with them for 40 days before ascending to Heaven. When he left, there would be a time when the spirit would join them. On the day of Pentecost, the Holy Spirit descended upon His chosen Apostles, and the Church was built. Jesus is the bread that gives life. Let us turn to God in prayer, true prayer, and be prepared for the battle ahead, each and every day. Let us wear the Armor of God to stand firm on the Word of God, hold fast against the temptations and the attacks of the Devil. Let us walk in peace and reflecting God’s light to every people of all nations, adhering to the command to go forth to all nations and make disciples, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Scripture gives us all we need. Take the bread of life and be saved, for Jesus is the way the truth and the life, and no one gets to the Father, except through Him. 

Go in peace, and in love, and be courageous. 

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