trusting in god – The Arrow Preacher

The Road Less Traveled

November 8, 2024 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

The Road Less Traveled

I woke up and the pain was worse than it was the night before. Throughout the day the pain medication just wasn’t working anymore. A call to the hospital nurse on duty led to the decision to visit the local bed and breakfast. That’s what I like to call the local VA. One, two and then three scans later, all I was expecting to find was some gas build up in my right shoulder, a residual from the surgery. What happened next is still difficult for me to talk about. When I do, I choke down my tears, stiffen that upper lip, and keep moving forward. While yes, there was gas in my shoulder, what the scans found was far more ominous. A ticking time bomb, For years I’ve been walking around, living my life, as if there were nothing wrong. How wrong could I have been? That’s how we live our life though isn’t it? Do we ever wake up and consider our own mortality? Is today the day we are to die? No one looking to the future thinks about all the hardships they will endure. People generally consider the future in a positive light, even though our lives are testament to the hardships we endure, our futures in our minds are bright and full of life. Scripture tells us the dangers of making claims of what we might do tomorrow. James 4:13-15. After hearing probably the hardest news of my life, aside from my ex-wife’s affair, I have been faced with the realization that life never goes the way we intend. Instead of traveling this holiday, I will be recovering from a life altering surgery. Who wakes up one morning from routine surgery only to find out the life they’ve been given is in danger of ending because of a silent killer inside their chest? The scans showed that I have an inflamed aorta in my heart. Unfortunately there is only one way to fix it, and that’s to have open heart surgery. The blow to one’s psyche is beyond anything I have faced. Learning of this heart defect has been the hardest emotional battle of my life. The enormous amounts of feeling I have felt is nothing I’ve experienced. Even having gone through two affairs, this emotional trial is not the same. I have felt responsible for causing hardship upon my family. I have felt weak. I have felt scared, and even worthless. I have felt as if my faith is weak, but I know it is not. Heart surgery will not be the end of me. God provided the scans to find it now, rather than me dying one random day from an aorta rupture. Five months ago I engaged in a foot race with one of the youth from church. The hernia on my right side bulged. It put me in the hospital to lead to surgery to repair not one but two hernias. Here in November I have surgery and a week later I have complications which put me in the emergency room. Doing scans to find out if there was gas in my shoulder from the surgery, something unusual showed up, an enlarged aorta. God it seems has spared me, but for what, I do not know.

In the last few days I have experienced random bouts of crying for reasons unknown. Even though I have accepted what is to come, my mind seems to be working through the heaviness I feel. While I have the utmost faith in God, and trust His plan, the weight is still heavy, and at times feels crushing. How does one reconcile their faith, and the flesh feelings that flood my mind? The enigma of my mind does not escape my attention. “Why, am I crying?” has been a statement I’ve often said recently. What has years of therapy done for me? I believe it has prepared me for this day. What has years of hardship done for me? I believe it has prepared me for this day. While people often say, “God never gives you more than you can handle,” is not actually true. That’s not what the scripture says. 1 Corinthians 10:13 “13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.” The way to escape, what does that mean? The way to escape is putting your hope and faith in Christ, Jesus. Growing closer to the spirit and allowing the spirit to dwell within you. By placing your joy upon Jesus Christ, so nothing can take it from you.

While I have experienced many hardships in my life, and I have felt strongly about some of them, this particular issue has affected me differently than those before. While my broken heart during my divorce was real, and I had very strong emotions, this literal broken heart is a different kind of emotion. While I do not know the future, I have attempted to make plans after heart surgery. This has allowed me the opportunity to control some of the emotions by building hope into the equation. When we have something to look forward to, it often gives us a positive outlook on the negative event. The silver lining perhaps.

It has amazing, the apathetic nature of people today. Do we truly not feel anymore? I have been doing what I thought was right, and inform people who might care about me, that I have to have this open-heart surgery. The replies I have received have shocked and baffled me. Most of them, “Okay, praying for you.” Just, okay? Is open heart surgery routine now? There have been little to know follow ups, to ask any other questions. Is this a lack of care about me? Is this a sign of the times that we just grow so distant that apathy is now the rally cry for people? This has solidified a few things in my mind about where I stand with others. Little to no priority. While this may be the truth, or it may not be, it’s the way it looks. I am reminded to keep my focus on the Lord because to Him, I am someone. “You can come to Him just as you are, let him have your broken heart.” (Casting Crowns)

Feeling welcome or apart of something has always been hard for me. I have often felt like the outcast, that I didn’t fit in. In God’s Heaven, I will fit in. I will find a place I belong. Jesus chose me before the foundations of the world. In him I have hope where he raised my heart from death to life. I walked in darkness without him. I walked by my own set of rules. I walked by my own desires. I was a dead man walking. Jesus changed my heart. Jesus opened my dull, blind eyes to see the truth. Jesus changed my mind to see through the lies of the world, the lies of the deceived, Satan. The faith that can move mountains, and the hope that can withstand the battle waged all around. The greatest miracle of all is the raising of the dead. The changing of a single heart from dead to life. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, no one gets to the father but through Him. While people will fail you, and oh believe me, they will fail you, Jesus never will. We think people should act a certain way. Say certain things, but in reality, people are fallen creatures. It may be, I don’t mean to people what they mean to me. Or it may mean people just don’t know what to say. Either way, all I can do is inform people I think want to know, and let the chips fall where they may.

There are words from another casting crowns: (Just Be Held)

Hold it all together

Everybody needs you strong

But life hits you out of nowhere

And barely leaves you holding on

And when you’re tired of fighting

Chained by your control

There’s freedom in surrender

Lay it down and let it go

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away

You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held

Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place

I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held

Just be held, just be held

I feel this song is what I’m going through right now. Since 2016, God has given me the right music to provide comfort when I needed it. Today is no different. I cannot sit here angry. Jesus is on the throne, and I cannot control the outcome of tomorrow. I can only control my actions in this moment. I may not be able to control every thought, but my focus being on the Lord minimizes the flesh. Jesus is always enough, and in all things, glory to the one who deserves our prayers, and worship. The one who calmed the storm, healed the blind man, turned water to wine, and defeated death, my praise and worship, into his hands I give my heart. Jesus is always enough. No matter what I’m going through and endure here in this life, Heaven is on the horizon. In a short while, I will join Him in paradise, and all my tears, all my pain, all my sorrow will be a distant past, and eternity is my future. Jesus is all there is. My heart is literally broken, but one day, a new heart will beat within my chest, and today, I will rejoice in being set free from the life I lived. I have faith, and I have hope, and the devil will never take that from me. Jesus is always enough. Let us pray.

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Do we Trust

September 11, 2023 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Do we Trust

Hardships are simply part of this world. Some things we bring upon ourselves. Some things we face are due to other sinful people. And some things are acts of nature allowed by God. When we choose the wrong partner, quit a job for dumb reasons, turn to a substance for comfort, acts of crime or just do something stupid, those things we bring upon ourselves. When your house is burgled, someone spreads rumor or lies about you, these are products of living around sinners. When the person at the grocery store is rude towards you, or your significant other cheats, these things are things from sinful people. Acts of nature are storms, flat tire, water heater going bad, illness, etc. We must understand where hardships come from and why.

It’s been 7 years since I was broken to the bedrock of my existence. Where I experienced a nuclear bomb exploding, and I watched my life turn from what looked like a good life from the outside, and even appeared that way to myself, to a broken down, foundation cracking, life altering experience.

I think back to Paul riding to Damascus with orders to bring those of the way to “Justice”. Paul, a man of prestige, wealth, power, notoriety, a zealous man, bringing forth his version of Justice to those who follow “the way”. He was a persecutor of the church. So why then would he become one of them? God has a tendency to uproot our lives and set us on a different path. What I didn’t know at that time in my life 7 years ago, was, what Satan meant for evil, the Lord used for good.

I have spoken about the specificity of what happened to me before, and debated whether to talk about it again, or not. I was angry, and lost, and couldn’t imagine why a loving God would bring me to the point I was at in my life. Why would he allow the sinful nature of someone else bring me to where I was. Why would he allow me to be hurt like that? The fact is, Sinful people hurt sinful people. We do not live our ‘best life now’, because God saves that for Heaven. We as Christians will face the bumpy road, the road of toil and troubles. Satan often tries to show us the easy, straight path, and in our nature, we want the path of ease, comfort, and peace. Sadly the kind of peace most seek is not the same peace scripture tells us to aspire to live in. We often take what Satan offers to us. We take the first step, we give in to the first temptation, and before we know it, we are neck deep in sinful thoughts, decisions, and despair.

But God, will often use what we go through to help others. God will often use our past, post salvation, to help others walk the path. Our testimony is a powerful tool for sharing or providing an opening for the Gospel, but feelings do not equate to truth, so be careful not to confuse the two. While my testimony is a very emotional one, I would not want anyone to confuse my emotional testimony as proof the gospel is real. My testimony does not need to prove anything, except what the gospel and my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has done for me. The gospel and holy scripture speaks for itself. There is proof in scripture, and evidence can be found in extra biblical sources if one truly seeks to find the truth. We as people often don’t want to know the truth. “The truth…All it did was anger those who preferred lies and confusion and backspinning in the hope of making themselves look better.” (Eli, pg. 288, Thrawn) We see the Pharisees in scripture look at truth in the face, and rejected it. The truth however can be powerful, as the saying goes, ‘no one knowingly dies for a lie.’

I would die for my faith if I had too, or at least I say I would. We never truly know what we would do until we are put in that situation. I’ve also heard, and as fitting as today is, ‘terrorists die for the faith they believe in all the time.’ And while yes this is also true, it is what they believe. Consider this however, if the conspiracy theory is actually true, that the apostles made up the Jesus story, why then, would they, who would have beyond a doubt known the truth, give up their lives for a lie? Scripture airs out the dirty laundry of the characters in the book. The highs and lows of every character is put out there for the world to see. The truth has remained the test of time because it is the truth. As I have posted before, women were chosen to be the first eye witnesses of the empty tomb. https://thearrowpreacher.com/2018/08/13/women-why-women/ The men in scripture who’s mistakes were written to show their imperfection, and the contrast, Jesus who became sin so those who believe and look upon Him in faith, may be saved from our sentence of eternal torment in Hell. There were so many eye witnesses to the risen Jesus, the Roman empire could not silence the movement.

Risen For You

“When the Apostils watched in horror as their Lord was nailed to a cross after being brutally beaten, they were crushed in spirit. They were utterly without hope, but after 3 days the blood debt was paid, the victory lap had been made, and Christ would rise and make himself seen fulfilling the prophesy and destroying deaths hold over the sinner for all eternity.” (Arrow Preacher, ‘Peace’, https://thearrowpreacher.com/2018/04/06/peace/)

In 2018 I wrote and shared a paper about truth.

Fighting Terrorism

Bad things happen all the time, and at the heart of all this is, do we trust God’s plan? As we look at today being the 9/11 anniversary, do we trust in God’s plan? When you hurt, do you trust God’s plan? When someone you care about is take from you, do you trust in God’s plan?

We don’t always get the answers to why, but we do have answers to why in a broad scope. We live in a fallen world, and sin runs abound. We look at the life of Job, Joseph, Jeremiah, Paul, and the martyrs that came after. Why did they suffer for their faith? God had a plan, and all we can do is trust in that plan.

Why God?

Trusting in the plan may be one of the hardest things we do, perhaps even harder than accepting God as savior. I have seen so many walk away from the faith when things get hard, or when they lose family members. The hardships will come and keep coming. Hardships as I spoke of recently are sometimes thrust upon us, sometimes we bring these things upon ourselves. Our choices matters and we should live a cautious tale of blaming God for hardships we face. We are not the only ones that face hardships of our own making. The Israelites complained and sinned before a Holy God just days after being freed from the bondage of servitude in Egypt. Their complaints and actions caused the forty-year exodus. An entire generation doomed themselves to live out their days in the desert.

Numbers 21:4-7

4 Then they journeyed from Mount Hor by the Way of the Red Sea, to go around the land of Edom; and the soul of the people became very discouraged on the way. 5 And the people spoke against God and against Moses: “Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? For there is no food and no water, and our soul loathes this worthless bread.” 6 So the Lord sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and many of the people of Israel died.

7 Therefore the people came to Moses, and said, “We have sinned, for we have spoken against the Lord and against you; pray to the Lord that He take away the serpents from us.” So Moses prayed for the people.

To this point, the Lord God has taken care of His people, delivering them from Egypt, enemies, hunger, and thirst, yet they complain at the first sign of trouble. But God, sends a sign,

Numbers 21:8-

8 Then the Lord said to Moses, “Make a fiery serpent, and set it on a pole; and it shall be that everyone who is bitten, when he looks at it, shall live.” 9 So Moses made a bronze serpent, and put it on a pole; and so it was, if a serpent had bitten anyone, when he looked at the bronze serpent, he lived.

Do we look upon the cross and have faith? We are told through scripture; we are saved by faith and faith alone. Mirroring Numbers, we look upon the cross and have faith because Jesus had to die for us. We are wretched sinners, who bring most of our troubles upon ourselves, and we must repent of those sins and trust in Jesus. The Father’s will is sovereign and we must trust his plan. I heard this recently, “Why y’all blamin’ God for your problems? Most of y’all’s problems came from not listening to Him to begin with.” (Unknown)

When we choose not to live in God’s will, we cannot complain when things go badly. When we are out having unprotected sex with anyone we want, why do we blame God for getting pregnant, or sick? When we choose drugs instead of church, why do we blame God for our families falling apart? When we lie, cheat, steal, and live in our sexual immorality, knowing God cannot bless those things, why are we surprised when hardships come to our door?

Years ago I wrote this “If we are to live our lives on our path, we need to focus on what kind of character in God’s game we want to be. We have our option to how we behave.” (Arrow Preacher, https://thearrowpreacher.com/2018/03/27/god-the-ultimate-dungeon-master/) While my understanding of God has changed since the writing of this post, and I have grown, I do still maintain, some things we bring on ourselves because of our actions, and some things are going to come our way no matter what we do. We must understand that troubles build character, and in all things, good and bad we must turn to the Lord.

Romans 5:3-5

3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

On this anniversary of 9/11, have faith in the Lord. In the midst of troubles, in a sinful, and fallen world, we must turn our face to the Father, and trust no matter what comes our way, we are soldiers on the front lines, and we fight the good fight every day. We must trust in the Father, and know that Jesus is at the right hand of the father moderating for you and I. We must trust that the Holy Spirit is with us daily, and we are never alone in the fight. We must continue to grow in our faith, and in our knowledge of God’s Holy Word. Continue to learn, get off of the milk and onto the meat of scripture.

Today, the seventh of anniversary that I gave my life to the Lord. I succumbed to my own sin, and having realized I cannot do anything without the Lord with me, I gave my life to Him, and finally listened to the call, God put upon my heart. I began to serve, and continue to serve. Since then, while my life is full of hardships, I have hope. I struggle with money, with food, with my living situation, with my health, and in no way did choosing to follow God, make my life easy. It did not. My problems did not magically disappear. Money did not begin flowing my way. I was not miraculously healed of my major infirmities. Choosing to follow and trust in Jesus does not mean everything will be easy. On the contrary, choosing Jesus is like grabbing a Kevlar, and joining the front lines of the war. Being a soldier on the front line is never easy, but knowing what the cost of not knowing Jesus is, there is no argument to not trust in Jesus. Jesus is “the way the truth and the life, no one gets to the father except through ‘me’.” Put your hope in him as I have. Sometimes life is still hard and full of pain, but through the pain, hope and peace are multiplied to you. It’s never too late to choose Jesus. It’s never too late to see the truth that scripture is real, it is truth, and we are wretched sinners in need of a savior.

When the Excrement Happens

October 3, 2018 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

When the Excrement Happens

You know you’re about to do something pretty good when Satan throws you a curveball. It’s unclear how much the Angels know about what will happen into the future, but one thing’s clear, Satan does a good job trying to muck up a good thing. Any time something good and positive is going to happen especially things that are for good Christians, Satan likes to try and put a stop to it before hand. This coming weekend I am supposed to be away on another Wounded Warrior Project event, and trying to be prepared with my homework and everything else I have to do, Satan is trying to put a stop to my trip by literally putting a stop to my trip. Yesterday I was involved in a small auto accident in which my car, my poor, poor, car, might have seen it’s last day. Driving home from an appointment a nice guy, was just trying to get to where he had to go, but the way in which he did it, well, when you try to cut over two lanes to turn in bumper to bumper traffic that’s moving 35-40 miles per hour is going to cause problems. Without enough time I was cut off and less than 30 feet I was ill prepared to stop in time when he needed to turn into the shop he was going to. My little Chevy sonic was no match for his Honda Pilot. His bumper took next to no damage, while my car…. Well, it’s seen better days. Everyone walked away and thankfully my airbag never deployed. The impact was just high enough on my car to keep it from exploding in my face. The accident could have been much worse, and I’m thankful we were both all right. Cars can be replaced, people cannot.

I firmly believe that for a Christian who knows the Lord, who trusts in the Lord, who’s faith guides them, and not the world, Romans 8:28is so important, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to Hispurpose.” Bad things happen every day to good people, and sometimes it’s not easy to see the good in the midst of so much awful and terrible things. We can become numb to the world and cold and disconnected in time as Satan’s claws dig into our shoulders to drag us down. For instance, as soon as I got home 4 hours later then I was supposed to which put me 3 hours behind on homework, I received a phone call from a friend with terrible news. I began to minister to her, helping her through a tough time, still reeling from my own ordeal. Then not more then 2 hours later, I end up ministering to another friend who was also going through a pretty hard time, and a small albeit real crisis of faith. My cup ran over, and I knew I needed to step away and empty my own cup of stress before I could be effective. It was a good thing I did, because later that night I was faced with a third friend in need of spiritual guidance. Satan is moving in a big way in my life right now, and it’s not easy to stand there and be under a real spiritual attack. So what can we do when the attack comes?

I knew what was happening so I took a moment to reach out to one of two people that could help, my own best friend and pastor. Calling later then I think I’ve ever called I was relieved when he answered the phone. The conversation wasn’t very long, just enough to pray, talk about the quick issues, and we parted ways, in which I knew he would be praying for me till he went to bed. See, prayer is important. God hears our plea’s and God move the pieces into play to be where they are supposed to be, or where they are most needed. I called a second pastor friend of mine, and while he was unable to take the call, just the act of me calling showed my faith in prayer because knowing he’d see my missed call, I knew he’d pray for me on the spot. I was able to get through my night with only a few tears of stress, and although the schoolwork suffered a little, I know that the good certainly outweighed the bad!

Trusting in God in the middle of the (expletive) storm isn’t easy, but when we know who’s still in control, we can be prepared for the flaming arrows Paul speaks of in Ephesians 6:10-18 10 “Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the [a]wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of [b]the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. 14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints”

Trust in God and believe in the works that are happening to answer your prayers. As I referred to recently, God moves pieces around the chessboard and it’s important to know that it takes time to maneuver those pieces into play. Be patient in your walk with the Lord. “If I walk with the world, I can’t walk with God.” Dwight L. Moody If we are walking with the Lord we know troubles will happen. We know that we will have opportunities to be pleasing to the Lord, and we trust these things because troubles were promised by our own Lord and Savior. Colossians 1:10-11 10 that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; 11 strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy; We suffer long and with Joy. We are patient and trusting in God we may be strengthen by all of God’s might. By walking upright in the Lord we are blessed by the Spirit, and renewed our strength when the attacks come. Don’t loose hope for the world is darkened, designed to crush your spirit and drain the joy from you, but if you know the Lord, trust in the Holy Word of God, you know that this suffering is only temporary that you may be tempered and ready when you are called to do more. This isn’t home, so remember one thing, ‘flexible people can’t get bent out of shape.’ We are not consumed by the darkness of this world, because it’s the Light of Christ that brings us hope, and every morning is a new symbol of the hope left to us as Jesus ascended into Heaven.

Lamentations 3:22-23 (NKJV)

22 Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,

Because His compassions fail not.

23 They are new every morning;

Great is Your faithfulness.

Keep On Keeping On

September 16, 2018 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Keep On Keeping On

Today is a mixed front day. While today is a somber day as crews start to assess the damage from the aftermath of Hurricane Florence, today is also the anniversary for the accident my best friend was in back in 2002. He would never wake up after the accident, but today was the Homecoming service for my church and the guest pastor played the song I Can Only Imagine, By, MercyMe This was the last song John sang at his church before he passed. I believe it was a message saying he was doing just fine in Heaven. Knowing John was a Christian and he loved Jesus has made his passing easier. Jesus talks to us often, we just have to quiet our lives to listen.

The days come and go with problems, with tragedy, with happiness, and with joy. No matter how good or bad things get in your life, all we can do is keep on keeping on. When we push forward in our lives following Jesus Christ that’s most we can do or ever hope for. When we walk with Christ are we doing so in trust? With so much destruction and pain just within the last few days as Hurricane Florence has pounded North Carolina, we can see people coming together and working to save those in need, praying together in times of sorrow, and watching over those who’ve lost everything. We understand that the storms may come, but when they finally arrived are we able to look to Jesus and say “okay, what’s next?” Christians must come to realize that no matter how bad things get, there is always something to gain.

While I was at church today and when the song I Can Only Imagine came on, I wasn’t filled with grief, or sadness, I was filled with Joy. I know my friend is in a better place, and I know he’s been watching over me since he got there. I trust in Jesus’s plan, and I believe that even in the midst of that tragedy some good was able to come of it. Sometimes the hardest thing we will ever do is face tragedies with an open mind. In the middle of this storm we find ourselves in there are acts of heroics, selflessness, courage, and love happening all around us. Emergency services, and civilians alike have taken to the streets to help their neighbors in treacherous conditions. Make no mistake this storm has taken many lives, and when dealing with flooded roads, any moment could be the last. We may face our final hours in this world, and while there is always a sadness by ones passing, with hope they know their savior Jesus Christ, the next moment will be without chains, without pain, without tears, and the flood of a new life rains down as the beautiful place of Heaven is now their home. I think of my God and the sacrifice for me, He laid down his life to save a wretch like me. I think of Amazing Grace, and how wonderful it is to see so much love and grace in these troubled times. When I see selfless acts of heroism I see Christ in this world. No one has to choose to go into the storm to save strangers from danger, but over and over we see it happening. How sweet the sound of love when the worst seems to be happening all around us, wherever I go I know that Christ is right beside me no matter the flood that comes.

No matter how dire a situation looks find peace knowing you are never alone. Your faithfulness will always reap rewards. 2 Chronicles 15:7 (NKJV)7 “But you, be strong and do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded!” No matter how bad the storm be strong and believe in yourselves because God believes in you. Do not let the Devil cause you to waiver in your faith. The walls may crumble around you, but you can always rebuild with your foundation set on Christ. Trust, and Love always.

Are You Special?

August 29, 2018 thearrowpreacher2 Comments

Are You Special?

Can you sing or dance, draw or write? Are you good with people, and empathetic to their needs? Are you good at doing budgets, or just drawing up flyers for the week? Once in a while, but if I’m honest more often then not, I don’t feel as if I’m special in any way. The world has been unkind to me and as I’ve been diving into some of the feelings residual from my many traumas I have questioned if I’m at all special in any way. The world (Satan) has taught me that I’m not special. From an early age faced with bullies, and troubles at home, then in my early relationships with women, and subsequent failed marriages, all I have known is rejection, abandonment, and failure. I have been conditioned to believe I am not worthy of love, and not worthy of grace. But in truth, this is all a lie.

Many of us put our self worth in the wrong place. Many of us place our value in our gifts, our talents, our homes, or cars, or jobs, but what happens when those things fade with time? What happens when we loose a long standing job, or a wife we loved most dearly? These things can make us feel low, and make us feel like we are failures in life. When my first wife had an affair and left I felt like I was kicked in the face. I questioned over and over what I had done wrong, and why I wasn’t good enough. I was tossed away like used trash. This would repeat itself just seven years later and I would once gain place my value in how good of a husband I was, by what someone else thought of me. I would nearly allow the disgrace crush me and destroy me.

Someone told me once, in life we carry a bag (rucksack). We walk along life and we constantly pick up rocks and put them in our bag. The longer we go the heavier the bag is and we can’t move under the weight. Life is the bag, and rocks are circumstances and events, and stress we encounter. If we choose to hold onto everything, and we choose not to ever drop any of those rocks, we will crush ourselves. Some rocks we have to keep, but others, we are free to let go. Cleaning out the bag is a choice and though letting some stuff go might be hard, eventually it’ll be like it was never there.

I have been told I am an excellent photographer and a fair writer. I could become famous for my writing, but that would never be why I’m special. It’s not about what I can do, or what any of us can do that makes us special. We aren’t special because of the gifts we are given, simply because we are given those gifts to be used to bring glory to God, so before God the gifts he gave us aren’t what makes us special at all. What makes us special is being who we are meant to be before an almighty God. What makes us special is that Christ died for us freely, in love He sacrificed himself so that we may one day live to love God, know Jesus, and in the end die and join Jesus in Heaven. We are special because God placed life in each and every one of us. God handcrafted every single person for a divine purpose. We are created in love, and scripture tells us just how important we are. Luke 12:7“Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” God knows every hair on our head and if God knows even the smallest details, how can we not be important.

Psalm 139:13-16“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” We are Gods works, we are Gods creation and we can hide nothing, every dark thought, every dark desire, God see it all. No matter how badly we mess up, God loves us regardless. We may see our self worth in the things we do in this life, but we ought to see it in the love given to us by God. Psalm 139:14“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”

We are all sinners. We all are born in sin and those who do not have a strong moral compass will do the most damage and harm. If we understand what the nature of sin is, understand where our salvation comes from, and truly understand what God tells us love is, then we find our true value. It’s not in people, or the talents we have, or the things we do, it’s grace, it’s forgiveness. If each of us makes mistakes then we shouldn’t allow someone else to determine our value. We should never allow another person to steal our joy. We must put our value, our joy, and our hope in one place, Jesus Christ.

I may be a fair writer, a decent photographer, a Master Lego Builder, but it doesn’t matter what I do, or how much I love, I am nothing without Jesus. I know I am loved by Jesus and nothing will ever take that love away. I know that no matter how many people reject me, or turn their backs on me, or never give me a chance, I am important to God my (Abba) Father. I shall never know hatred before God, or be let down by God in any way. I am not worthy of God’s love, but in grace alone I am given hope. Through Love, real Love, I am blessed with a forgiveness I could never earn, yet I have anyway. I will grow old and one by one I will stop writing, I will stop taking photo’s, and one day I will stop building beautiful Lego sets, but I will never stop loving Jesus. I will never stop proclaiming the truth that tells each and every one of us, why we are something special. It doesn’t matter what mistakes we make because we are always just one step away from Jesus. Jesus is always waiting for us.

If you don’t know the truth and the love of Jesus Christ, let me pray for you today. Father God, I come here humbled before you, lowest as I can go, and I know that without you I am nothing Father. I know that you created me for a purpose, and no matter the hardships I’ve faced, or the demons that tempt me in the night; you are the lighthouse guiding me home. Your Love and mercy abound me with the soft blanket to comfort me in the cold. I know there are many out there who do not know your love, and if any come before you today, I pray their hearts be softened, and allow that door to open. I pray hearts burst open wide and accept who your Son is, why your Son came for every single one of us, and believes with their whole heart the truth that is the resurrection of Jesus Christ. I pray that we come before Jesus humble and gracious for the life we have to look forward to in Heaven. I pray that we don’t wait for tomorrow because tomorrow isn’t promised to us. I pray we know what we have to do today, and in our darkest hours you will come before us shining like a lighthouse out to sea, guiding us back to the safe harbors. I thank you my God for giving me talent with words, and an understanding of your Holy Scripture to reach out to those around the world, to bring honor and glory to your Sons most Holy of names, it’s in His name I pray Jesus Christ. Amen.

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God Said and We Must Trust

August 5, 2018 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

God Said and We Must Trust

Genesis 2:1818 And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

Some days when I feel alone, when I feel discouraged, I think back to what God said and I know that in this season I may be alone, but I must put my faith in God that He has a plan bigger than I can see. It’s not easy going through life without the things we desire most, but if something is truly good for us the Lord will provide when the time is right. Being patient is one of the hardest things we as humans have to do. There are a lot of things I am patient with, but being alone is not one of them. While some people can go their entire lives alone, some people are wired for those human connections. Be strong in your faith, and trust in the Lord. Walk closely with Christ and listen to what the Holy Spirit is telling you. Find your purpose God has planned for you, and always trust in the process. God doesn’t make mistakes, and for every hardship, tragedy, struggle, God is with you working out the details. Do not loose hope, and do not despair, Jesus Christ is the truth, the way, the life. In his death we were given eternal hope, so never fear tomorrow, focus on today, and trust the plan. God

I Don’t Have The Answers

August 4, 2018 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

I Don’t Have The Answers

With so much pain in the world, and so much selfishness, I can honestly say I don’t have all the answers. I see people when they are low, and I see people when they are on top of the world, but the only answer I have is Jesus Christ. The only hope I have is knowing that I’m not alone and even at times when it feels like the whole world is against me, I know I have Christ in my corner. There’s never been a moment I have been without Christ. I have been through Hell, and I’ve seen horrible things happen to people all around me. The only answers I have are those I find in the Holy Book. I have walked this walk for so long and doing it my own way only led to disaster. Trying to rebuild from catastrophe after catastrophe is exhausting. While I may not have all the answers, I can say with authority what not to do. I can say what I’ve ended up with, and if I’m being completely honest I have lost nearly everything, twice. I know that Satan pushes us, Sin pushes us, the world pushes us, and God pulls us. We are fools if we don’t seek Godly counsel in our paths. Proverbs 12:15 15“The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But he who heeds counsel is wise.”In my walk I found I had gotten lazy. I put off going to church, I put off my studies, and shortly after my life fell apart. As soon as I put down my armor the attack came and I was ill prepared to face it. My lack of preparedness was evident as my fall from the tower I had built.

Life is hard, and it can be cruel and unforgiving. Mistakes can haunt us for the rest of our lives, and we sometimes have to live with the foolish decisions we’ve made. What I can say is we must turn to God in our foolishness and ask for forgiveness. We must repent with our hearts, and trust that God will take us just the way we are. When we accept Jesus into our lives, He changes us. We are reborn like the phoenix, the fire burns away the old self leaving what God put in us all along. 1 John 4:1“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.” When we follow Christ we are often tested, and people may come into our lives as part of that test. We must realize that not everything is as it appears. Some things that may look like blessings on the surface may not truly be, and it’s up to us to test that. Do not be caught unawares. Be careful whom you become attached to. I have failed in this more time then I care to admit, and each time I have felt the sting of rejection, and it’s led me to a dark place inside myself. Not everyone we meet will lift us up, some are there to tear you down. It’s up to us to let scripture and the Holy Spirit guide us. When we stand apart from the world, it will be harder to find those to lift us up. Do not allow your loneliness to compromise your integrity for the companionship and lure of the flesh you so long for. Be earnest in your prayers to God, follow His plan for you, trust in Him, and submit yourself to know when the time is right, God will take care of you.

Captain My Captain

June 26, 2018 thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Captain My Captain:

Follow my leader, my Lord Jesus Christ. A path straight and true, my ship sails and even though troubled waters are ahead, the storm I shall not fear. My Lord leads me through the highest swells, the strongest winds, and no storm shall sink my ship. My captain I trust, my captain I have faith and fear will not control me.

Matthew 14:25:33“25 And in the fourth watch of the night[c] he came to them, walking on the sea. 26 But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out in fear. 27 But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.” 28 And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” 29 He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind,[d] he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” 32 And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33 And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

When we give up the reigns and we trust in the Lord we will not be led astray. I believe one of the hardest things we will ever do is trust Jesus to get out of the boat of our safety net, and trust that we will not sink into the darkness. Sinking into the darkness, or trusting Jesus enough to let go of the power you believe you have. Power is the world’s greatest lie. We believe we have control over our lives, and that we are in charge of our own fate. While we do have free will, I challenge you to show me a life when bad and unexpected things don’t happen. We want to feel like we are in control but the truth is we don’t know what will happen an hour from now, let alone days, weeks, or years. Proverbs 3:5-6“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” The word in the Hebrew is Batach, to trust, to have confidence. Faith is an important part of trusting in the Lord. As we place our faith in many false teachings, many false beliefs, and people draw our faith, but I say this my brethren this is folly. Only one place your faith must go and that’s the Almighty God and His son Jesus Christ. Psalm 28:7“The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.” We only have one place to put our trust our faith, and in turn, we are graced with strength, and the fortitude to see the fight through to the end.

We see a theme from cover to cover in scripture and that’s trusting in the Lord. In the book of Daniel we see him thrown into the lions den and yet in Daniel 6:23“23 The king was overjoyed and gave orders to lift Daniel out of the den. And when Daniel was lifted from the den, no wound was found on him, because he had trusted in his God.” Daniel trusted in the Lord and thus was delivered at the hands of certain death. Trust came in many flavors but the Lord’s promise is powerful. Do we curse the winds, which cause the waves? Do we curse the clouds, which empty the rains? We choose to venture onto the waters, and yet we take our risks against nature. We have to have faith in our Lord and Savior. Deuteronomy 31:6 “6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Courage in the face of danger pushing the fear away, and trusting that no matter what happens in this life our love of Christ, the submitting to Jesus assures us salvation in Heaven. Isaiah 41:10 “10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” We cannot curse God for everything that happens to us. We must understand the route of all evil is Sin. Sin is everywhere and if we underestimate the power of the dark side we shall be overcome by it. People fall to sin and make selfish, lustful, poor decisions every day. We cannot blame God for the actions of people. We cannot blame God for every thorn, every thistle, every hiccup, and every trial. Know that God is always working Romans 8:28“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” We must not forsake our love for Christ with hate in our hearts. It is love that spared us death, and it will be love that will lift us up again. Love is the only way, and it’s in that love that we must have faith in the absence of things we cannot see. We live in this world but we must never succumb to it. We fight the fight so we can walk the path of rugged righteousness before our God. We trust in Christ to guide us in our way, the only way. Faith is Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” We put our faith in Christ to let go of our own prideful ways and instead give up control to Jesus Christ. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 “9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Our faith to Jesus is where hope begins and ends. God’s grace will always be sufficient for us because we know the maker of heaven and earth, and trusting the way, the truth, the blood of Christ spilt to save us from our sins. My dearly beloved do not grow angry in the face of the trials, instead turn to the word of God to find your hope once more. Do not grow weary in the storm, for we see in 1 Peter 4:12-13“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.”