One Month Later 

One Month Later 

It’s been a month since my open-heart surgery. Not yet a month for the pacemaker, but we’re coming up on that in a week. I can’t say with honesty that the recovery has gone very well. With the initial severe pain in my neck and shoulders, then the pacemaker, and the severe pain in the left shoulder, then the infection, the pain from the lead left behind over my stomach, it’s been difficult. The drive home from the hospital was marred with trouble, when the car broke down smoking. This later cost me almost three thousand dollars to repair, funds I don’t have. Even now I’m still on antibiotics fighting an infection. After getting home I started to sleep in the recliner, because I could get in and out easier than a bed. Then there was a problem with the fireplace chimney, which only just got fixed yesterday the 20th. Now, were finding the heater isn’t quite as efficient as consumers are led to believe. The amount of pellets it takes in just a few hours is staggering. So much so, that in the middle of the night, I woke to 30* temperatures, because the heater ran out of pellets. Let us not forget the sprained ankle from walking laps in the house without shoes. Let’s say the recovery, and rest I was hoping for has been far off from me. If I had to take a guess, I’d say Satan was playing with me, causing issues to see what I’d do. Am I as strong as I say? Where is my breaking point? To be honest, I don’t know. I’d like to think I’m strong, but I know my flesh is often weak. To say I have not been frustrated would be to speak falsely. I have struggled with my cough, with my limitations of not being able to take care of myself. It’s not an easy thing to go from independent, to dependent overnight. It’s also a difficult thing when you are in chronic pain after surgery for a long period of time. While I have hopes that this pain will eventually dissipate, in the back of my mind, I am preparing myself for the possibility it does not go away and get better. Right now, simple things like walking, hurt my shoulder. If walking hurts, how will I go hiking, or photography, or lightsaber dueling? Will I be able to work around the house without having pain in my shoulder and chest? I already have to deal with the cervical spine pain I often feel, adding to it would be fairly miserable.

Jesus tells us to take heart, that He has overcome the world, and in this life we would have troubles, but to know there is better for us. I know that I will endure troubles, even if it’s not in the way of religious persecution, I know there will be difficult waters ahead. A few months ago I wrote this “Many years ago, the dark nearly took me. I fell overboard when a rogue wave hit the ship so hard it jeered and I flew overboard. I thought for sure the waters would take me, but somehow, the Captain dove in and pulled me up. He said, ‘Your sailing days aren’t done yet.’ No more words were ever spoken about it, but I knew the Captain saw something in me that day. Didn’t have to risk Himself for me, but ever since, it’s felt like He’s kept a special eye on me.” (The Best Captain, The Arrow Preacher, May 28,2024: https://thearrowpreacher.com/2024/05/28/the-best-captain/ ) 

I went on to say “He replied, “I am who I am. I am the way, the truth the life. I am the alpha and the omega. I am the Good Shepherd whom you’ve heard my voice. I am the Lion, and the Lamb. I am Emmanuel, I am Jesus, your Captain. And I’ve got you. Trust in me, and I will see you through to the end of the age, when I welcome you home, when we reach the shores of my Kingdom. You will then have rest. Till then, we’ve got work to do.” ((The Best Captain, The Arrow Preacher, May 28,2024: https://thearrowpreacher.com/2024/05/28/the-best-captain/ )

We must take each day as a gift, and while things may not be smooth sailing, trust that Jesus is still in control. He’s still at the right hand of the father interceding on your behalf, on my behalf. Satan is the real enemy, and he very much wants to destroy you, and damage your relationship with the father. What better way to make you so comfortable that you would give up Jesus for your comfort. Satan gives those what their heart desires, and sometimes God allows you to have what you truly want, and it looks like, and taste like the world. This is the only happiness some people will ever have, and they trade eternity, for comfort in this life. Would you still praise God with a gun to your head in an African country where the rebels seek to kill all Christians? Some people should think long and hard about where they truly place their heart. Me, as I said recently, I’m ready to go meet Jesus, but I know He’s kept me on earth for a purpose, and I’ll continue to fight the fight as His soldier, till the day I am called home.

Life is not easy, and it’s not meant to be easy. Jesus tells us it’s only by the narrow way, and few would enter it, to find salvation. The sad reality is not everyone will be saved, because they chose to follow their hearts flesh desires, and remain dead on the inside. They do not hear the calling of Jesus. What is it Jesus says? On that day many will come to me saying Lord, Lord, have we not prophesized in your name, and cast out demons in your name, done many works in your name? And Jesus replies, depart from me, you who practice lawlessness, I never knew you. What is your motive for preaching Jesus? Is it so people would look at you? Is it so you would get rich? Is it so you would have an ‘easy’ life? Indeed, the first thing you should say to Jesus upon facing Him, is Lord I am not worthy to be here, please forgive me, you are most high, and holy. It should be about the Lord, because it isn’t about us, it’s about what God does through us. It’s not about your pride, or my own pride, but rather what God works through your life, so HE gets the GLORY, not you. 

God has done such a mighty work in my life, it’s hard not to talk about it. There was a plan this fall to travel to the Philippines for Christmas. Had I gone, it was very possible my aorta could have ruptured and I die. Or my valve failed, and I died. Did God spare my family and friends the hardships of my death? See, I am not afraid of dying. I’m not opposed to it, and to be rid of this broken body, that’s always in pain. I’m not opposed to being set free from this life of poverty. I know however, my family and friends would be upset if something happened to me. God has a purpose in my life, and while I don’t know what that is, I know that I am to serve Him. I have a broad idea of what He wants me to do, and in part it’s this, writing, and doing my YouTube podcast. I have a place as head of my household to continue to be the spiritual leader. I have friends I minister to, and I help them navigate life in a Godly way. I may not be rich, or famous, and I may struggle financially, and I may live in a tent, but I know as long as I’m doing the Lords work, I will remain in His blessings, and my needs will be provided for. Make no mistake, while I do live in poverty, I do live in a tent, I make very little money in this economy, I cannot buy a new car, or purchase a home, I am still richly blessed. I may not live in a mansion somewhere, but I know that I have joy in my heart, for the Lord has blessed me with the miracle of life this Christmas. Can you count your blessings in your own life? Can you see what gifts God has given to you, that you could use to glorify Him? Are you seeking God with everything you are? Or, are you lazy, and apathetic about your walk with the Lord? We must rid ourselves of the worldly distractions, and focus on the Lord. So few of us read our bibles daily. So few of us pray without ceasing. When was the last time you prayed for others, and nothing for yourself? When was the last time you told anyone about Jesus? Do you adhere to the command to fulfill the great commission? To go and make disciples of all the nations and to baptize them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit? When was the last time you messaged your ‘friend’ you haven’t spoken to or checked on in months? We each have our own gifts, and we must learn to use those gifts to share Jesus with others. Why would we want to keep silent, knowing millions of people are headed for Hell when they die? Why wouldn’t we want to do what God has told us to do, and share the Gospel, the Good News, with anyone we can. I believe we can all do better doing this. I believe we must merely ask God to give us the spirit of courage we need, and to remove the fear we experience, to give us the strength to share Jesus with others. 

I have been saved many times by God, but this last one hits different. The path laid out nearly a year ago, that led me from one incident, to another, and another, and finally to open heart surgery is more than several coincidences. Remove any one of those stepping stones, and I don’t wind up at open heart surgery, and I could easily have died. One incident may be considered coincidence, but when you stack several in a row, that becomes a statistical improbability, so logic would dictate that there is a loving God, who looks after His sheep. There is a creator that designed this universe with care, and precision. There is an intelligent designer that is:

Omnipotence: God’s power to do anything

Omniscience: God’s knowledge of everything

Omnipresence: God’s existence in every place and time

We may not understand God’s ways, but He sees the entire photo, while we only see one small piece of the mosaic. We must learn to not only to obey God’s commands, but to trust in His plan, even when we don’t understand it. I do not know God’s plan for me, other than right now, I continue what I’m doing, but I do know, the more I walk with Him, the closer I’ll get, the better off I am, and the easier I’ll hear his message for me. I need to trust that if He wants me to do something, I must be willing to hear it. I do have faith in Jesus, that no matter if I’m in the middle of the storm, or if I’m lying on a beaching next to the ocean, or if I’m in the valley fighting for my life, Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to be right there with me. I also believe that we have Angels around us, invisible to us, to help minister to us. We cannot live our lives shaking our fist to the heavens asking why all the time. We cannot spend our lives angry at God, because some how we didn’t get our way. We cannot say what is good or bad, only how we act to stimuli. We must be faithful to God, and push away our temptation to sin. We must push away our lust of the flesh, and want of earthly treasures. We cannot allow money, or things, to become idols in our lives. We must not forsake our marriages for temporary flings. We must not forsake our family for work. The list of idols is long and could go on, but I think you get the point. We are to put away all our hate, and love of the flesh, with all malice. We must focus on God, and seek first His Kingdom. Are you ready and willing to make changes in your life to better serve God? Are you willing to take a look in the mirror and acknowledge your short comings, your sins? Are you willing to seek forgiveness in those you’ve wronged? Are you willing to ask forgiveness of a Holy God, whom you’ve sinned against? We must do more than just believe in God, for even the demons believe in God. We must obey God; we must love and seek God with all we are and all we have. We must study the bible without placing yourself in the story. We must properly study the Word of God, and do what’s called exegesis, rather than Eisegesis: the practice of interpreting a text by inserting one’s own ideas, biases, or agendas into it. We must be willing to forsake all other things, if He asked it of us. What are you willing to do to serve an all mighty and holy God? At the very least, are you ready to praise and worship the king of kings, and the lord of lords? Emmanuel with us, the Lion of Judah, the Prince of Peace, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. I am grateful to have been given life, and in the midst of the storm, the hard, long road, it truly is a hard fought hallelujah. 

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The Week My Heart Stopped

The Week My Heart Stopped

First of, I’m a 40 year old male, with no history of heart problems. My story is one that highlights the power and sovereignty of God. I suppose to understand, one must venture to the beginning, as to fully grasp the situation. The details are an important part of the story. June 19th was the last day of VBS (Vacation Bible School) at church. One of the youth, and a kid I’ve known for many years approached me with a challenge, a foot race. Having a bad knee, and knowing I’m not supposed to run, it’s odd that I accepted his challenge to begin with. A few months prior I had found out I had a hernia on the right side of my groin. One more reason to say no, but I didn’t. Against what would have been better judgement, I said okay. The foot race commenced and I won. A victory over someone, someone so young, was short lived as the next day I was in the hospital. That hernia decided to bulge, leaving me unable to walk. When the doc came in to ‘fix’ it, I was grateful. The conversation ended with me going along with what turned out to be double ingroinal hernia surgery. Not one but two hernias. This would not take place till October however, so I had the rest of the summer to enjoy.

The hernia surgery came on the 28th of October. It was a quick surgery and a success. That is, till a single day later when the gas from the surgery migrated up to my right shoulder, causing significant pain. During the CT scan, something odd was seen, not of the gas but with my heart. My Aorta was not the right size. I was sitting in my room waiting for the doctors and when one came in, it would quickly become a whole ordeal. Several more doctors from different departments would grace my bedside. A plan was being formulated for priority open heart surgery. How did I go from hernia surgery to open heart surgery in a day? It turned out, that my aorta root was a bit larger than it should. Surgery threshold is 5.5 cm, but my root measured around 6.3. As it turned out, I had what is known as a ‘Bicuspid’ valve. When someone has this defect, their muscles, and ligaments can sometimes be super stretchy. Could this be the problem with my neck and my knee? Perhaps. Surgery would be set for Nov 22nd. Just less than a month later after hernia surgery. The amount of scans and tests I had to do in the meantime kept me very busy. Unfortunately I was not able to prepare everything for the heart surgery as I had attempted to do for the hernia surgery. Being the man of the house meant I did the heavy lifting. Planning for two months was not only expensive, but took a great deal of thought. Going into hernia surgery I felt prepared to be limited for a while. Going into heart surgery left me feeling wholly unprepared.

The 22nd came, and my nervousness showed in all my blood pressure tests. The morning was early, and I had once again found myself in surgery safety prep on the fourth floor of the VA hospital in Durham NC. Some familiar faces graced my bedside as I was shaved from my shoulders to my feet. I had already had to shave my beared the night before which was difficult, and I shaved my head as well, completely changing the way I looked just 24 hours prior. Long thin hair, and a long beard, now gone. Surgery prep seemed to go pretty quick this time. Before I knew it, most of my team was at my bedside for one final walkthrough of my case. The heart model I took for them to sign was signed, my last will and testament was submitted, and i was as ready as I could be.

Four hours was all the time the doc needed to replace my aorta root, the valve, and stem. A rock star of the aorta valve replacement world. A surgery that would normally take 8 hours he did in 4. That night they would start to wake me up, and I remember still having the ventilator tube down my throat. At first I was okay, but the longer they took to remove it, while I was awake, the more I began to panic. My mind said get it out, even though it was doing the breathing for me, I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. The tube was removed, and my memory foggy. I remember family being at my bedside, and a friend. The meds I was on, quickly put me back to sleep, till I was awoken the next morning to walk. Having multiple chest tubes, and an external temporary pacemaker, It took everything I had to get out of bed. I gripped my heart pillow with all the minuscule strength I had. Finally they got me up, I walked, and then I was back to the chair. In reality, I don’t remember much except being silly with my friend who was there, and my supportive bride. The medication they had me on was pretty strong and kept me in a fairly high state. By Tuesday, it seemed there might be something wrong. My heart wasn’t responding to being woken up. Test after test showed my heart was not responding and not functioning on it’s own without the pacemaker. Wednesday came, and the test was a 12 lead EKG, while they turned off the pacemaker. Essentially, they needed to see what was wrong, and what my heart was doing.

Wednesday, five days after heart surgery. The room was cleared so no one would see what happened, at my request. The leads were attached, and the nurse held my hand. The EKG started. Then, the countdown began, 3…2…1… and the pacemaker was turned off. My eyes couldn’t stay open, as I lost consciousness. My heart stopped. The test only kept the pacer off for 3 seconds, but for those 3 seconds, my heart stopped, and I was aware of it. I could feel the lightheadedness, the lack of oxygen flowing through my body. I could feel my body giving up the fight to stay awake. Within moments, I regained semi consciousness, and a few moments later it was better, but tears flowed down my face. How could life had come to this? By Friday I was scheduled to have a pacemaker installed. I am only 40 years old, and I have an artificial heart valve, and a device keeping my heart pumping. How could life have come to this? The answer is simple really, and can be found in scripture.

As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him.

— John 9:1-3

This wasn’t something God was doing to me, but something God saved me from. After a talk with one of my surgeons, I would find that the valve could have failed at any time. The valve description used was ‘gnarly’. So, in reality, both the valve, and the root were ticking time bombs. The root could have dissected, split open at any time. My plans were to be in the Philippines for Christmas this year. Instead I found myself having this surgery. God, has been in the details all year. From the original finding of the hernia, to the foot race, forcing my hand for surgery, to the gas going into the chest, which was fairly uncommon, to the incidental finding of my aorta on a scan not looking specifically at my heart. These things are too many coincidences to be considered coincidences. If the universe were truly chaos and random, then the odds of this many events culminating in life saving surgery, would be unlikely. But, that’s not how an Almighty God works. God saved my life, again. While my recovery has been difficult, and having the pacemaker adds extra challenges, the truth is, I was given the gift of life for Christmas.

This revelation of God’s sovereignty and grace, does not take away the hardships of heart surgery. It doesn’t take away the emotions left behind in it’s wake. When your body feels foreign, and broken, it’s easy to lose sight of the big picture. Yes, I am bored at home, and walking is a challenge because there is no place good to walk inside. Being too cold outside, has made recovery a challenge. Having to put my car in the shop the day after being released from the hospital, and having a $3000 dollar car repair, right before Christmas, has left me feeling a bit down. The Devil has thrown much at me since my time home from the hospital. It isn’t just the body that needs to heal after this kind of surgery, but the mind as well. I have found myself struggling needing help with everything I do. I have felt like a burden, a waist of time, weak. I have felt sorry for myself a time or too also. The struggle to do what is necessary for the recovery of mind and body is not one easily found where I live. I live too far from the local mall to walk. We have no recreation centers with indoor tracks. We have no large stores other than a small Walmart and a Lowe’s which neither sound appealing to walk. I have some ideas I may implement soon, money though is the question. I know the Lord provides all we need, I question if something is a need or a want.

I am slowly recovering physically, but I do believe the recovery is still a long ways away. God being in the details gives me hope that there is a reason for His saving my life yet again. The time bomb in my chest was diffused, and I now have time to do whatever the Lord wishes. Both the valve and the root could have given way at any moment, but God stopped me from going across the world, to have this surgery, and I know there has to be a reason. I don’t know why God gave me this pace maker, but this too is part of the Lords plan. I have said before, ‘all we can do with the time given to us is choose how we reply to each moment of our lives.’ We don’t have a say in what happens to us much of the time. We can’t change what people say or do in our lives, except try to live as Godly as possible. Living for Christ, and making decisions based on what we think would be pleasing to Him is truly all we can do.

It astounds me to think just a few weeks ago my entire chest was cracked open, exposed to the world. My heart was in the hands of a stranger. The gift of life this Christmas came at the hands of God. God didn’t have to give us warning something was wrong. God could have just taken me home. For whatever reason, God saw fit to save my earthly life, and here I am fighting the good fight for the Lord of Lords still. God works in mysterious ways for sure, and while I do not know why it is God has seen fit to save my life, yet again, I will continue to serve the best I can. Sometimes it’s hard to raise a hallelujah. Sometimes it’s all we can do do get out those words to praise a Holy God. Sometimes the world has done a number on us, and we’re down on our knees for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes it’s hard to hear the voice of God through the noise of the world. Sometimes it’s a storm tossed ship, wrecked and ravaged by the nature of this world. It’s in these moments, that we must raise the hallelujah. It’s these times we must praise God even more, and turn to Him for guidance and peace. Sometimes it’s a hard fought hallelujah, but in the battle we know it doesn’t belong to us. We know that Jesus already won the battle. The mighty victory cry he cried on the cross, ‘tetelestai’, or it is finished. This single word is more than just it is finished, but rather, the contract is complete, the battle is completely won, the bill is completely paid for. This was used in business, the debt is fully paid, judgment in court, sentence fully served, and the battle is fully won. How great is it to know that Jesus won our battles. The battle today is not of my own, or your own. We bare the cross yes, but Jesus already won the battle. The story we are in is already complete and will one day end. We see the battle, but Jesus sees our victory. When we see the deep valley, Jesus sees the triumph at the end of the road. We must take our troubles, and sorrows to the one who can do something about it, our Lord, our Savior, Jesus the Christ. We fight not against flesh and blood but in the spiritual realm of our souls. The Devil may break our bodies, he may attack our stuff, but what remains behind is our souls. Prayer is often underutilized. We often forget we have the ability to talk directly to the sovereign of the universe. We will suffer in this world, this was promised. Being a Christian, being a member of ‘the way’ is not one for the faint of heart. Jesus told us in scripture, it would take everything we have. Matthew 16:24 Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.” To pick up your cross meant to die to yourself. To do so publicly as the world would see you carry your cross. It meant to be ostracized by society. It meant to kill away your sins inside yourself daily. To give up your own pride, and your own selfish ambitions, to give your life to the Lord, and to do so publicly, unafraid. We are told the path to the Father is a narrow one, and many would rather chose or walk the wide path of destruction.

Life is going to be full of hardships, and despite those hardships, Jesus won our battle. Jesus fought the fight, and won. He defeated sin, and we have eternal hope. People want to talk about love is love, but true love is telling someone the truth. Jesus said he didn’t come to unite, but to divide us. The truth is, 2000 years ago, the Devil lost his fight when Christ became victorious over death. We have not seen the last of the war, but we know that Christ wins the war. People often think of Jesus as sweet baby Jesus, or hippy Jesus. The truth is, when Christ comes back, it will not be for earthly peace. When Jesus returns, it’ll be to bring righteous war upon the world that has rejected Him, in His perfect judgment for the sins of the world. We do not know the time of His return, but we are called to be ready for it. Jesus will return, sword in hand, and with the legions of Angels He commands, will fight to destroy the remaining evil in the world. The bowl judgments will pour out upon humanity, the trumpets will sound, and eventually God will reverse creation, wiping out all what we know, and He will rebuild. Jesus, the Lion of Judah, is not a hippy love is love Jesus. Jesus said, if you love me you will follow my commandments, so we are to love God’s commandments, and not just the ones we like. Is this life hard? It sure is, but we have a God who understands. We have a God that put on flesh to understand our sufferings. Count it all joy my brethren when you endure trials. Swords must be tempered in fire. Gold purified in the fiery furnace. Steel for everything we use is forged. Why would we be any different? Jesus told us the truth, that this life is hard. He loved us enough to show us the truth in His sacrifice. It would be easy if Jesus said, ‘you’re life would be a piece of cake’. That however wouldn’t be the truth. Some so called pastors say this, but it’s a lie from the Devil. We are soldiers, so let us soldier up, and get back into the fight. When the Devil starts shooting those arrows at you, cover behind the shield God gave you. Then when the time is right, spring forward, sword raised high, and push forward. We are soldiers on the battlefield, and it’s full of death, destruction, hardships, but we have the might of God, and the Angels on our side. Keep fighting, because inside you is a roaring lion. The spirit of God, the spirit of courage, bravery, and a spirit of hope, we are soldiers in this life. Fight on, and never quit. The truth of God is all around us, we just have to look around. We see His truth in the complexity of the plants, animals, our own bodies, the universe. We will emerge victorious, because Jesus is victorious.

God saved my life, and I know that I’ve been saved by the blood. I’ve been given life, and I will not let the Devil win. I will not let the demons whispering in my ear to quit, win. I will not stop preaching and teaching His mighty word. I will crawl if I have to, but I’ll keep going. My life is in God’s hands, and I was a soldier in this earthly life, I am a soldier for God, and my family I will keep my Armor tight, and show them, not my strength, but the strength God has given to me. I am saved, born again, washed by the water. Hallelujah to my Lord, this is a long hard fought Hallelujah. Let God have the Glory in my life. Why am I going through these hardships? So God would be glorified through it. Let us turn to God and show him the praise and worship, only He deserves. One day I will be recalled from this duty station. One day, the Lord will say my watch is over. One day Jesus will tell me, well done soldier, now rest. One day I will take up residence where I truly belong. One day, I will see what I’ve been fighting for this whole time. I long for that day, but for now, I will serve God faithfully here. I will fight for my family. I will be the spiritual head of my home. I will fight back against the Devil, I will resist with all my might, and protect my family. My service isn’t over yet, and God saving my life, not once, not twice, but three times or more, tells me He still has plans for me. Into the battle, He’s prepared my fingers for war. Let us pick up the shield, the sword, and let us go do some work. Fight the good fight soldiers of Christ, your not done yet.

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Protecting Our Witness (podcast)

Join me as we do a short podcast; talking about our witness, and keeping forgiveness in our hearts.

The Arrow Preacher Podcast: Friday: Protecting Our Witness Podcast
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Find Your Ministry

Find Your Ministry:

Have you felt like something’s missing in your life? Something you can’t quite describe but you feel it in the morning when you get out of bed and when you’re out with your friends. You feel it deep down into your heart and soul, and you crave answers, but you don’t even know the question. I felt this for many years of my life, and only when I struck the bottom of life’s horrors did I finally realize my heart has been calling to one thing, and that was Jesus Christ. The day I heard the voice of God I realized how long I had been living in the darkness. People think once you find your salvation or you have that one big event that changes everything in your life that you are all of a sudden going to be a perfect human being. This couldn’t be further from the truth. You can continue down a sinful path, but when you feel the love of Christ cover you like a warm blanket your body has revulsion to sinful behaviors. Things of your past will no longer be appealing, they will no longer give you the fake joy you once reveled in. You can continue to ignore those convictions, but you are only denying the truth. When you find Christ you are reborn, by fire your old self is burned away, and you are a new person. When that day comes, what’s your next step? Well, let me show you what your path will look like.

When you find that salvation in Christ you need to seek Godly counsel. You should go to your pastor, or a close friend in Christ. You need to meet with your pastor and talk about yourself, and start looking at ministries to get connected to. At first you should volunteer with as many as you can till you find the one you are most comfortable with. You will be searching for your spiritual gifts that you’ve been blessed with. I hear people tell me all the time there’s nothing they are good at. There’s nothing that makes them special. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Each and every person on this planet has been given gifts from the Holy Spirit and can use them in a ministry field. I think there are a lot of misconceptions as to what ministry is. Most people believe ministry is teaching, or preaching. This is not true, and when you look to the Hebrew of the word ministry it is, Shareth, “Ministry, religious ministry, service in the tabernacle.”  Ministry is service to the Body of Christ. Every job, every works in the service to the Lord as according to your gifts is ministry. This is everyone from those who cook, clean, sing, organize, administration, teach, or preach. Ministries cover every works in the church. Any way for you to service God is a ministry. It’s our job to evangelize but evangelizing is a job for everyone. While people may evangelize and specifically good at missions work, that would be one of their spiritual gifts. You will find a natural interest or desire to particular activities. In this you are being directed by the Holy Spirit to explore different things and you will find it. Not all gifts are found right away, and some require practice. We do not see basketball, football, or hockey players using only their God given talents without also practicing their gifts. We do not improve without putting forth the effort.

God knows us beyond our imagining. We see the true nature of the Blessed Lord especially in Psalm 139:1-13 New Living Translation (NLT)

1 O Lord, you have examined my heart

    and know everything about me.

2 You know when I sit down or stand up.

    You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.

3 You see me when I travel

    and when I rest at home.

    You know everything I do.

4 You know what I am going to say

    even before I say it, Lord.

5 You go before me and follow me.

    You place your hand of blessing on my head.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

    too great for me to understand!

7 I can never escape from your Spirit!

    I can never get away from your presence!

8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;

    if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.

9 If I ride the wings of the morning,

    if I dwell by the farthest oceans,

10 even there your hand will guide me,

    and your strength will support me.

11 I could ask the darkness to hide me

    and the light around me to become night—

12     but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.

To you the night shines as bright as day.

    Darkness and light are the same to you.

13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body

    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

 

If God knew us from before our birth and knows us in our death, knows our path, and what we will do, he designs each and every one of us with care and consideration to how we can serve in accordance with His desires for our service within the Body of Christ. In order to work on our selves, we must work with God by servicing God. Matthew 7:7-11“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. 9 “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? 10 Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! 11 So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.” We must pray for our path to be made clear. Pray to Abba and ask how we may serve. We must allow God to mold us, to guide us, and in doing so, we submit to the spirit and let go of our own wants and desires. In doing so we will develop new joys, new dreams, and we will be blessed by God accordingly. Matthew 7:7-117 “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. 9 “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? 10 Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! 11 So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.”  

Be sure to plug in when you find yourself a church. You will find yourself in need of prayer and thus you will pray, but you will also need to study. Joshua 1:8“8 Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.”We must learn to take scripture into our hearts. The Devil will attack you day and night and he is testing your defenses to find a weakness to break through to poison your heart. Do not part from Christ, instead pray day and night, and study, and take scripture into your heart.

1 Corinthians 12

12 Now, dear brothers and sisters,[a] regarding your question about the special abilities the Spirit gives us. I don’t want you to misunderstand this. 2 You know that when you were still pagans, you were led astray and swept along in worshiping speechless idols. 3 So I want you to know that no one speaking by the Spirit of God will curse Jesus, and no one can say Jesus is Lord, except by the Holy Spirit. 4 There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. 5 There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. 6 God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us. 7 A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. 8 To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice[b]; to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge.[c] 9 The same Spirit gives great faith to another, and to someone else the one Spirit gives the gift of healing. 10 He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit. Still another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages,[d] while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. 11 It is the one and only Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have.

One Body with Many Parts

12 The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. 13 Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles,[e] some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.[f] 14 Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part. 15 If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? 17 If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything? 18 But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. 19 How strange a body would be if it had only one part! 20 Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. 21 The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.” 22 In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary. 23 And the parts we regard as less honorable are those we clothe with the greatest care. So we carefully protect those parts that should not be seen, 24 while the more honorable parts do not require this special care. So God has put the body together such that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. 25 This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. 26 If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad. 27 All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it. 28 Here are some of the parts God has appointed for the church:

 first are apostles,

second are prophets,

third are teachers,

then those who do miracles,

those who have the gift of healing,

those who can help others,

those who have the gift of leadership,

those who speak in unknown languages.

29 Are we all apostles? Are we all prophets? Are we all teachers? Do we all have the power to do miracles? 30 Do we all have the gift of healing? Do we all have the ability to speak in unknown languages? Do we all have the ability to interpret unknown languages? Of course not! 31 So you should earnestly desire the most helpful gifts. But now let me show you a way of life that is best of all.

Everyone has his or her gifts as seen in scripture. God ensures that every single person has his or her gifts. Never stop praying to God how we can serve. 1 Thessalonians 5:17“17 Never stop praying.”

Affirmations: “emotional support or encouragement.” When you start getting plugged in people will naturally tell you, or thank you for doing a good job. Between passion, desire, interest and talents, you will find your place in the church body. Finding your ministry is like “going to a buffet, some stuff ‘s okay, some stuff is pretty good, some stuff you absolutely hate, stuff you’ll absolutely love and you’ll want more.” (Rev. Glen Newsome, Jr M.A.C.S)  Never stop growing, and learning about God. Your journey will never end, but as you grow your love and appreciation for the shear size and power of the Lord will begin to be revealed to you. It took me 34 years, nearly a dozen traumas, two divorces, loosing my job, and having major back surgery to find my gift in ministry. Never underestimate the lessons that will be used in each and every one of your hardships for the Glory Of God!

 

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It’s a wonderful thing to be able to share the blessings and teachings of Christ with all of you. For those who read my works in Christ, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Recently I came across an amazing home business based in Travel and Entertainment that’s the real deal. The savings found through this business are amazing. If you shop online, like to go to movies, or travel, this gift card for you can save you up to 50%. Please enjoy your gift as a symbol of my appreciation and gratitude. God Bless.

 

 

 

Medic

Medic:

 The medic is a soul of compassion and much like a physician also has an oath.

THE MEDIC CREED

My task is to  provide to the utmost limits of my capability the best possible care to those in need of my aid and assistance. To this end I will aid all those who are needful, paying no heed to my own desires and wants; treating friend, foe and stranger alike, placing their needs above my own. To no man will I cause or permit harm to befall, nor will I refuse aid to any who seek it. I will willingly share my knowledge and skills with all those who seek it. I seek neither reward nor honor for my efforts for the satisfaction of accomplishment is sufficient. These obligations I willingly and freely take upon myself in the tradition of those that have come before me.…These things we do so that others may live.

When tragedy strikes 911 is called. EMS comes with their gurneys, their first aid bag and begins to provide aid. As a Christian we are to lift up and to never tear down. We are told in 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 “4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[b] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” I’m not saying loving like this is always easy, but easy or hard, it’s a command by Jesus Christ to love everyone. No, you do not see the command in this scripture, however, you do see it in Mark 12:30-31 “30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” I put this in red because in most bibles this passage is in red. It’s red because it’s from Christ himself. If we are to love God, and to love our neighbor’s, then we must do what love is, and if love is what’s found in Corinthians, then we need to be doing that for everyone we meet. That’s not a suggestion it’s a command. Part of loving is being there when the need arises. Everyone will stumble and fall in their daily walk, but when they do, it’s important to be there to help them back up. Carrying one another’s burdens is important as a Christian. While Jesus was walking to the Skull, he fell three times. He had help carrying his cross and thus showing us we all need help to bare the cross we carry. No one person can go through life and never accept help. As a body of Christ when someone suffers alone the body suffers. We are God’s hand and feet, and we must treat a suffering Christians as if they were apart of us.

In Spiritual Warfare the Devil is trying to destroy us. Are we willing to allow someone to succumb to the Devil? If we are to busy to talk to, or lift someone up, we need to remove something from our lives because we are NOT living in God’s will. God says bare the burdens, be the hands and feet of Christ. Galatians 5:1414 For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” In loving your neighbor as yourself, and knowing we all carry a cross to follow Christ, we see a second part to scripture. Galatians 6:2“2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” We are all medics for the Lord. We all have the tools, and the ability to make a difference in someone’s spiritual life. We don’t have to have money to help, or food, or connections, sometimes all the help needed is to be a warm hug, a loving word, and prayers. Scripture teaches us how, we only have to read it to learn.

Be looking for ways to lift up others. Be looking for ways to help. Be willing to take the time to talk, to listen, to laugh, and to cry. Being with whosoever needs and fulfilling the law of Scripture. We know trials and trouble will come, but we also have been taught how to navigate the storms.Matthew 4:4 4 But he answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” If you take care of yourself by studying scripture, keeping a healthy prayer life, and allow the words to fill your heart and mind, you are less likely to require a medic. You may only need a friend.

DO NOT SELF MEDICATE

If you do not have Jesus in your heart, or if you start to walk away, you may find yourself on a path of destructive pain. Often times when people turn to substances to make themselves feel better they are attempting to fill a void in their heart or life and that hole can usually be found as a Jesus shaped hole. The second possibility is if you are running from painful feelings that you don’t want to deal with. Either path to addiction is one that will only end in pain. People hide their pains in addictions of substances, alcohol, drugs, work, sex, gaming, and even now roll playing to escape reality. If you find yourself suffering from addictions I urge you to you seek help in dealing with this problem. Addictions don’t just affect you, addictions affect everyone around you. Self medication is never okay, but turning to Christ, and those who follow Christ, that will save your life.

There will always be help within the Church. To each person a divine gift is bestowed and together we can handle anything the Devil may send our way, because we have Christ with us always. Keep love in your heart as Christ so loved us, he Died for us. Love others, and be there for others in their time of need. Do not be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help for we all fall, we all sin, and we all have struggles. Do not be dismayed for there is hope as the Son rose, we shall always live with the light. Remember, we are God’s hands and feet, but we do nothing of ourselves. The one with the power the true one and only Medic is Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is the one who will save you, He is the one who can heal your heart, He is the one who will fill the void of emptiness you feel. You must ask Jesus into your heart, and call upon him to save you. He is the Medic, the cure for sin, the savior of all.

I a Disciple of Christ

I a Disciple of Christ:

I a preacher and disciple of Christ call to you believer and non-believers.  You all have suffered long but I give you a message of hope. You grow weary from trial after trial. I give you hope in the storm. The storms will always remain but now I give you the light that shines through every darkness, brings hope to the hopeless, restores faith to the faithless, and heals the sick. John 14:6“6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” Even when 100 things are going wrong the hope will always remain. Do not forget what gives us the blessings of eternal life. The blood shed of Christ to fulfill the trinity that’s always been, down to the ground covering all of the earth in righteous grace forgiving us of our eternal sin.

You are not saved in chance, for you are saved with glorious grace. It brings our Lord joy for you to receive mercy. Jesus came not to be served but to serve, so shall we serve others before ourselves. Who are you? Do you know who you are, and can you tell others what defines you? Do others see you by the content of your heart, or do they see the hypocrisy that runs rampant in the streets? In God you will be strengthened and made sharp in the fires experienced here in this life. Walk by faith and don’t loose hope in the marathon. Run with endurance with trust in the Father as we look to the cross to be our finish line. Remember to fight the fight but do not loose sight of what it is your fighting for. It will never be the troubles you face that are the true fight, but the temptations and attacks of the Devil trying to break you. If God blesses your heart and sealed His graces, let no Devil, no demon, no man, crack the bonds made. No troubles shall break you or sink your ship. Always remember your why and the Lord will smooth your travels. The trials will be many, but that shall never remove your salvation or grace.

The Lord is a merciful God, and a loving God, but never tempt God. Never worship idols in place of God, and never lift anything higher lest you sin unknowingly. The love of money, and of possessions shall never bring you peace. The days of works shall never bring you salvation. The laws never will you keep though you shall surly try. Bring yourself humbly on bended knee to the Lord, and sing praises. I come to you a follower of the Lord, saved in my sins, forgiven of my trespasses, led by the spirit to bring you the good news shared to me. The long awaited messiah from the days of old came and spilt blood for all. We no longer live in darkness, and we shall not suffer long. The one way to peace is through our Lord Jesus Christ. Do not grow weary along the way for we remember the verses of Kings. Psalms 23“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2  He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.[a] 3 He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness[b] for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,[c] I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surely[d] goodness and mercy[e] shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell[f] in the house of the Lord forever.[g]”

My biggest hope is in your travels you don’t loose sight of why we travel. I do not want you to loose sight of what it is we’re fighting for, and why. It’s so easy to get caught up in the day to day, the routine, but after a while we forget to live by the message. While I was watching the Book of Eli recently it kept with the message that Paul was telling the people of Ephesus, do not loose sight of the mission.

The Book Of ELI

Solara: I didn’t think you’d ever give up the book, I thought it was too important to you

Eli: It was, I was carrying and reading it everyday, got so caught up in protecting it, I forgot to live by what I’d learnt from it

Solara: And what’s that?

Eli: To do more for others than you do for yourself

In the Book of Revelation we see Ephesus applauded for their great works, but in the end, they lost sight of their first love. I believe this is referring to, you fought, but over time you forgot why you were fighting. We must be cautious in our walk that it’s not just sitting in the pew on Sunday, saying the prayers, singing the songs, but that it’s about allowing the word to invoke the Holy Spirit within us, renewing our flame for Christ and encouraging us to carry on fighting for our Lord. The spiritual battles wage on every day and night, and we are caught in the middle. We are soldiers on the front line and we must understand what’s at stake. Christ is destined to win the war, but nothing is written about you and I. We fight on the front line and we choose what side to fight for. There will be casualties along the way. We must pray with our might, give thanks to God for each and every one of our blessings, and always ask for guidance. When we become weary of the race, we see reminder in Ephesians 6:18-20“18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, 19 and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.” We as Christians must remember to wear our chains as a badge of honor. As Paul’s wordplay is not lost here, the Greek word used means a prisoner’s shackles, however, during that time ambassadors wore a gold adornment around the neck and wrists as a symbol of riches, power, and dignity of the government for which they represented. Paul I believe is speaking of course that he is in prison and he wears his shackles with pride as he’s in prison because of his teaching of Christ. He’s proud and through the entire walk with the Lord and everything he endured in the name of Christ, he found peace in the end that he writes to Timothy. 2 Timothy 4:7I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” Will you keep the faith in all you do? Will you remember what it is you’re fighting for? If you’re not fighting for the Lord, you may need to adjust your focus.

 

 

You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars?

You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars?

Have you ever looked in the mirror and noticed the scars you have? I have scars I see every day when I look in the mirror. My body is covered with scars from years of unfortunate accidents, injuries, and just a result of a rough life. I don’t just see the physical scars in the mirror but the emotional ones also. I was told recently that the traumas and trials I’ve faced are enough for maybe 3 peoples lifetimes. I had never really thought about it like that before. All I think about is how horrible it’s been sometimes, if I think about them at all. One of the things I was very good at was not dealing with my emotional pain. I tried to bury it and run away forgetting where I put it. Sadly, when it comes to grief and pain, you can’t outrun it. What you bury will come back to haunt you, and it’s usually pretty angry when it does. I recently wrote a blog post talking about running from grief. https://thearrowpreacher.wordpress.com/2018/05/29/man-on-the-run/ I won’t be rehashing an old topic. Instead in this post, I’ll be discussing how to use those scars to your advantage.

In 34 ish years I’ve seen a lot of things, and I’ve been to a lot of places. I’ve seen the world from the 3rdworldview, and I’ve seen the world from a luxury hotel downtown Chicago. No matter where I’ve gone one thing has been certain, the Holy Spirit has been right there with me the whole time. From the age of a little kid I have felt the Holy Spirit with me. I have moved through life feeling the Holy Spirit, yet running from an obvious calling within my life. Most of my life I have felt as if something were missing. I have felt a sense of lacking and never quite feeling useful. I have lacked purpose in my life. I thought my purpose was to be a good friend, a good husband, but although in my biased opinion, I am a good friend, and I am a good husband, or more accurately was a good husband, I now realize something new. For each scar I have a story. Each story is a chance to reach out to someone in need. Purpose will always be, where God is sending you. Today, I sit here thinking about each one of my scars mental and physical, and I have slowly started to realize what the purpose after all these years may have been.

When I think back to a man with scars I am reminded of the Apostle Paul. He suffered a great deal of physical torment throughout his ministry. Through the book of Acts you see Paul’s struggles. You see him get beaten, shipwrecked, stoned, hunted, imprisoned, and yet as he talks about how far he’s come. Galatians 6:17“17 From now on let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus.” I for one cannot imagine the pain he must have been in every day. In a time where most serious injuries would likely cripple or kill someone, he managed to keep going despite his injuries. It wasn’t as if they could go to the nearest CVS or Walmart and get Tylenol. Not being able to set broken bones, or take anti inflammatory, or even penicillin must have made healing very difficult. Here’s a man that literally took beatings and  torture for God, never once throwing up his hands and saying, ‘Nope, I made it all up, Jesus was a nobody.’ Even till Paul’s dying day, scars and all, he maintained his position that Jesus Christ was the Son of God, the truth the way the light. His scars were his testimony and what a testimony he had! I have spent a lifetime wondering why I’ve been through so much. I’ve often sat in the dark, yelling to God to answer my questions. After 34 years I may have finally gotten the answer I have been waiting for.

When you pick up your cross you will find persecution. In persecutions you will find both physical and emotional scars are part of the journey. Scars are sometimes badges of honor when we are a blessing to Jesus. Our scars are a reminder of where we’ve been, and a lesion learned no matter what caused the scar. Sometimes a scar is gained by playing with friends. Sometimes a scar is from someone doing unspeakable things to you. No matter where your scars are from, either good or bad, we can always take away some kind of lesson. I’ve seen many people after a trauma turn cold and bitter towards the people around them. I can’t say I’m innocent either. I have become angry when I’ve been hurt. I’ve seen people destroy lives, destroy families after suffering from loss. We will always have scars, but as a sword in the fire, we will either become brittle and break, or become strong and sharp. True courage is to face the pain, and face the troubled waters with honor and dignity and above all else, faith that God will use that pain for good, not for more suffering.

I have scars from surgeries, everything from knee, to hernia, to tonsillectomy, to cervical spine fusion, and more. I have emotional scars from death, from relationships, from war, and much more. When I look in the mirror I see a man who’s endured much, and yet I still stand. I face the world with hope, and with agape (love) in my heart for those around me. Even as I was going through a horrible divorce with my ex wife, and while there were things said and done that were beyond awful, I stood by her side and endured the pain and hardships. Now after all that time, we are talking, we spend time together, and we have a pretty amazing friendship. All the pain that was endured has allowed me to be there for her, now when she needs it. Living with Christ in your heart, loving deeply and not just what this world considers love anymore, is not an easy venture but God is watching and he will bless you for it. Pain is a hard thing to be stuck with, especially if you don’t know why, and you don’t know what to do with it. But I say to you, there is hope, and there is purpose. You will have to turn to God with love and prayer, and surrender in your heart. You will have to allow God to hold you up, and you will have to surrender over a piece of your self. Jesus Christ can heal your heart if you let Him. Jesus is always with you, and you just need to ask, and accept that without Christ we are nothing, but with Christ we are royalty to paradise. We are all soldiers, and with our scars of battle, we choose to surrender to the Devil, or fight for the throne in Heaven.

I was thinking back to an old post I wrote, and an old Sermon by Dr. David Chambers of my church. Why was our savior brought into this world as a baby? It was so that he would grow, and live among us, so we could relate to Him on a deep intimate level. His life had pain, and losses, and poverty, just like many of us. He survived the baby massacre, and then lost his Dad Joseph early in his life. He would grow to preach and teach God’s word, and when the time came he was tortured horribly, to just an inch of his life, and then he carried a heavy tree for a few miles, just to be placed on that tree and hung for all the world to see. Christ suffered horribly for each and every one of us, so we may one day live to live in eternal salvation. “Living is not for the weak.” (Arrow)It takes great courage to live with pain. It takes courage to find a path where you can use your pain for good rather then evil. How many stories have you seen or heard that started off with the villain saying ‘I was done wrong, so I’m going to make them pay.’ Or something along those lines anyway. Emotional pain is a strong motivator and it can cause good people to do awful things. Every one of us is capable of great things, or completely evil things. When we use our pain to heal from the truth written on those pages in scripture, then we are on the path to enlightenment.

Under the right situations your pain and suffering may be used to inspire and help others. I for one am starting to realize that all my life has been training. All the hardships I’ve faced and it being mostly traumatic incidences has given me the unique perspective to understand the nature of that kind of pain. I understand the pain of loosing a loved one to divorce. I’ve lost people in my life before, but my marriage this time was one of the hardest. The unfortunate event that occurred the day I found out my wife was leaving would forever be a day of great tragedy for me. That fateful day I succumbed to the pain and suffering that I spent so much effort running from. I’m ashamed of myself, and I still have a hard time believing it was me that day, but I have the scar to show for it. Today when I think back at my scars, I think now, how can I help others? How can I help prevent what happened to me, happen to anyone else? As I have been looking into my future since my security job imploded I have been led to believe ministry is my true calling. For years I looked at the ministry to be for someone much smarter, much braver, and much more people friendly. God uses the most unlikely of people sometimes to do His work. I have heard from many in ministry about running from their calling and how miserable their life was the whole time. Ministry is perhaps one of the hardest things to do, with some of the most stress in any job. Ministry comes with some of the most emotional drain out there, but people are genuinely happier, despite the level of stress that comes with.

I realized my traumas have been preparing me to help others get through theirs. Through most of my incidences I didn’t have a therapist, or a chaplain there to help me through. I was left to navigate the minefield, and as it became more and more dense with each passing trauma, I was bound to step on a landmine. When I finally stepped on one, and I ended up in the hospital, I was faced with a fundamental change in my life. It was the beginning of the end of a path I had been on for 7 years of a career, and 32 years of my life. Through it wasn’t easy for me to face facts, eventually, that closure would come from God as my job in security would end abruptly and with finality. I know many of you have endured great pain and suffering, and you can’t see any reason why you were made to suffer. First off let me say that there are a lot of reasons we are hurt. Sin is the most likely for most. Health is next in line. Then lastly personal choice to make bad decisions causes many of our struggles. No matter what flavor of pain you have, know that it is up to you to find a scriptural purpose for it. I have decided that my vast knowledge of all kinds of different pain and trauma makes Christian Crisis Counseling a perfect job for me. I can use my pain and suffering to inspire and guide others through their crucibles. I have chosen to embrace my pain instead of running from it. I have chosen to use my pain instead of burying it. If I can use my experience to help God’s people, it would be a sin not to.

I have run from God’s calling into ministry my whole life, and there’s always been something missing. I’ve always struggled with depression, and even though I’m not perfect and sometimes I still have my bad days, I am driven to continue my growth in the Lord. I pray to God to continue to show me my path, and to give me grace and mercy along the way. I fully expect the Devil to try and break me down during my journey, and any journey towards chaplaincy or pastoral ministry is going to fall under attack by the Devil. If we are going to follow in Christ we must live differently, so we can show others a different way to live. We must be productive in our faith, and not squander our experiences. I think of the things a father teaches a son. A father teaches their child how to treat others, how to be a responsible person, and how to love. They teach them how to do things around the house, how to hunt, and fish, and throw a baseball. But more importantly a Christian father will teach their kids, rather train their kids to be in Christ. I didn’t have a father growing up and I missed out on a lot of important lesions and experiences, but now I look to my Heavenly father for guidance and love, and approval. I have hidden behind my scars for so long, now I have to learn to embrace them and use them to help others. It won’t be an easy road, and I suspect there will be days when I will feel the weight of my decisions, but as Paul said to Timothy, I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. I too shall join that fight in ministry as I start my path to chaplaincy, and God willing maybe more.

There are days when my scars hurt, but I know God won’t ever leave me, He won’t ever forsake me, and I know now, my scars were not in vein. We must learn to see beyond our own pain, and trust that in all things we go through God is working it out so we may find peace, not sorrow. We live in a fallen world so pain and trials will come, but we don’t have to let it destroy us. I challenge each and every one of you to go out there and find your purpose in Gods plan. It’s likely your scars are for a purpose and that you can use them for good. Your scars can give you strength and understanding in areas perhaps others cannot. I challenge you to stop running from God and embrace your gifts and your life experiences. Pass on what you have learned, and remember failure is the greatest teacher you will ever have. Use your failures to help others see. Never give up on yourself because Christ wont’ ever give up on you.

 

 

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God Are You There?

God Are You There?

Have you ever prayed and wondered if your prayers are being heard? In my life I’ve wondered just that. Scripture tells us that God hears every thought, every whisper, every cry, and angry outburst, but sometimes it’s felt as if my pleas have landed on deaf ears. I’ve been down to the woodshed more times at the receiving end of life’s cruel lessons. I’ve been beaten, betrayed, and kicked while I was down. Through it all I’ve prayed, and still I was burdened with shackles of pain and suffering. I have called upon my Heavenly father time and time again, and I have waited for an absolution, sometimes that would never come.

I have walked a long way, and still I have struggled from time to time to trust in where God leads me. I feel as if I’m lead into the valley more often then I am peaceful streams, or green pastures. I have tried to live a life as a sinner in a world where I would still make Abba proud of me. I have prayed for many years for the blessings in my heart, and yet still to this day I am missing desires. I turn to scripture in my time of need in hopes to find what I seek. James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”We must have trust in the Lord that despite our shortcomings, and despite the hardships we face, the Lord our God is always by our side. 2 Chronicles 7:14“if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” God will bless us, but first we need to realize how important that open door relationship is.

God is not first and foremost a cosmic genie for our amusement. God is not a universal Santa Clause to give us the gifts of our hearts whenever we ask for them. God is our father, our creator, and should be treated as such. God answers to no one, and we are but a speck of infinitesimal dust to God. God loves us, but we must first open the door. When we are frustrated, scared, or hurting it’s almost a normal reaction to turn to God, but how often do we as a people pray when things are good? How often do we pray to praise and worship our Lord, in times of celebration? “How am I supposed to show love for somebody, over and over and over, who constantly rejects me?”(Fireproof) Is the cross offensive to us? Do we truly understand the Lord and the sacrifice made of us? I understand what was done for me, and I still struggle some days. God is always there waiting for us, but it’s hard sometimes for God to help us when we don’t want His help. We are stubborn, we are ungrateful, and we rarely show God the gratitude of a people that has been given life itself.

We expect God to be there for us in our times of crises but we reject him every other day of the year. We expect God to grant us our selfish desires, our prayers, which we pray for the wrong reasons. Luke 18:1“And he told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart.” We must not loose heart for the Lord to hear us when we pray for the right reasons. We must not be selfish in our lives, but servants of Christ. We must try to be pure of heart, and when we come to allow Jesus into our hearts, then, the Lord will be there to bless us for our hard works in his name. It’s not about how much we put into a plate, or how many times we go to the homeless shelter, it’s the reasons we do it. Are we doing it to try to rack up cosmic brownie points, or do we do it because we are truly called to do so? Pray and be faithful to the Lord, and never loose heart. Pray and be heard when you remove yourself and let God in. James talks about praying with the wrong motives and how dangerous it can be. We must turn to God every day in the storm, in the celebration, in the sun or in the snow. Pray because as Jesus commended his Spirit to the Lord for us, we should be on our knees in gratitude because we would be nothing but walking dead had Jesus not given his blood for us. God’s there, and He’s listening, but are you asking the right questions? God’s always there for us, but are we letting God into our hearts? It’s a choice we must make, and when God calls upon us, do we look at the number and decide to ignore the phone? I’d be willing to guess, most people do. Imagine how much better this world would be if we would take a moment and let God speak to us. The choice is yours though, the power of free will says you don’t have to listen to God at all, but what an opportunity you’re missing out on. Pick up the phone, and listen when God calls.

 

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Baby Don’t Hurt Me No More

Baby Don’t Hurt Me No More

Hebrews 11:1-3“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. 2 For by it the people of old received their commendation. 3 By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.” We walk by faith because our eyes deceive us. We walk by faith because sometimes we have nothing else. When the world is tops turby and we cannot see, we must trust in the Lord to deliver us. Wherever God has us go we must trust our divine purpose. More then trust the where, is the why. It’s hard, and we often cry out in pain, and we beg it to stop, but in the words of Captain James T. Kirk. “I need my pain!” (The Final Frontier) 

Pain comes to all who walk this Earth. Pain is an inevitablility that we don’t like to think about, but it’s an undeniable reality. Since the fall of Eden in Genesis 3: 19b“till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken: for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”And further Genesis 3:2424 He drove out the man, and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim and a flaming sword that turned every way to guard the way to the tree of life.”God said we would suffer for food for what we have we must forever work hard, Genesis 3:6-7.It wasn’t just sin that entered the world with the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, it was also evil. Now it must be understood that evil existed prior to the fall from Eden. This is seen in the conversation between Satan and Eve. Sin is the gateway to evil in many ways. It’s largely in our own pain comes. When selfish desire out weighs love, people get hurt. When we no longer take into account how our actions affect others, people close to us can get hurt.

In my personal life I have often asked Abba to deliver me from my pain. I have gone to Him in prayer, and begged for absolution. I have often wondered how long I would be made to wait. How I could get to where I needed to be, so I could walk on the right path? I’ve come to realize perhaps my path is to wait. Perhaps what I desire most hasn’t come into my life yet because whomever it is may not be ready in their walk. Realizing this, and trying to look at the bigger picture of life as a Chess game, I realize that in order to mount an attack, or even a defense, pieces need to be moved to the right place, and that doesn’t happen all at once. So I now sit, more patient in my self, and more trusting of the greatness that is God’s plan. Waiting is always the worst and hardest part, especially for those personality types that feel they have to be moving, doing things in order to get what they want.

Being hurt in a relationship is hard. When it seems a love has been destroyed by lust and lies and others sins, it’s impossible not to feel pain. I have a secret for you. Pain can be managed and will diminish in time. When we put our faith in God and trust a path, we can begin to heal. Forgiveness is a big part of healing, but also a major roll in relationships. Without forgiveness, scores are kept, and when arguments ensue that thing you forgot to do 6 years ago is now being used as a weapon. When we feel wounded or trapped we as humans like to lash out with insults designed to cut the deepest. If you don’t want to hurt anymore, I’m sorry to say there’s no quick fix. I recently knew someone that was going through a divorce. They thought they were ready to move forward, and I was sure to ask multiple times if they were ready for that, and every time was a yes. Sadly when the time came and they were connecting with someone they met, the cold feet, fear, and doubt crept in. they bowed out abruptly, and sadly leaving hurt feelings behind.

We may not be able to avoid pain from others all the time, not if we want to actively engage in human relationships. We can however be more careful with whom we get close to. When living in sing actively, it’s like playing hot potato with a grenade. It’s going to go off and anyone in the area will be affected. Ownership of the grenade doesn’t matter anymore because it affects everyone around. Much of our anguish is brought on by our own decisions. When I worked security at a local mall I often saw teenage girls crying in the office waiting for local law enforcement. They were caught shop lifting and now they were going to face those consequences. If you don’t want the pain and embarrassment perhaps doing sinful things isn’t for you.

Our paths change with every decision we make. Our choices are the rudder of our ship. When we sin in a big way we are thrown off course in a big way, but it’s because we threw the wheel knocking ourselves off course. If someone else sins it’s like being hit by a wave. Of course the bigger their sinful choice the bigger the wave. No matter the impact we are still captain of our own ships. We choose how we live our lives by the decisions we make. How we deal with the storms when the come, is still on us, and how well we manage our own ship. While a storm may damage your ship, Jesus says to ‘not to be afraid, for the Lord is with you.’ Do not doubt but be courageous in your walk. Trust in the Lord to lead you wherever you are meant to be. You may travel to the ends of the Earth and fight mighty battles, but god is with you. Do not get stuck in the pain. Instead learn to forgive and keep marching on. Do not grow weary in your grief instead turn that into motivation. Embrace the pain because you must face it to deal with it. One day the pain of this world will end and the day Jesus calls you home. Genesis 15:1“After these things the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision: “Fear not, Abram, I am your shield; your reward shall be very great.” Let God be your shield, your protection, your rock, your foundation.

 

 

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Giving Yourself Away

Giving Yourself Away

It starts of small, just once, just a little bit, and that’s when it takes hold. We give up one small piece of our principles, and then another, and before long the black and white becomes gray. The fall doesn’t always happen quickly, sometimes it’s a slow moving enemy that creeps along scrapping at your heart a little at a time.

We often stand on our principles determined not to give in to temptations of this fallen world. We see the fall happening all around us. We see public figures from government to Hollywood getting caught with their principles around their ankles. We see politicians accepting bribes, actors turning to drugs and more and more sex candles rock the new like never before. We have watched as our nation endures the slow fade in what is now accepted on this earth and ignoring the once proud biblical principles we once stood strong on.

We face temptations and the first time we tell ourselves ‘It’s okay, just this once.” We have taken the step into the quicksand. Sin can be described many different ways. Sometimes a major event can alter perceptions, but I like to think those circumstances are more rare. I think sin is more like boiling a frog. The water is cool when the frog is dropped in so the frog doesn’t notice anything is wrong. As the water heats (as sing grows and spreads) by the time the frog realizes anything is wrong it’s too late, the damage is done. (We find ourselves buried under the mound of sin.)

So many marriages that end due to affairs you see the near identical timelines. “It started off very innocent and we were just friends.” The slow draw of sinful lust can creep in untamed yet slowly as to not draw attention to the danger ahead. Most affairs could be snuffed out with a single choice to walk away. The little steps that make the right and wrong to an ambivalence for those their actions may affect. The truth is sin attacks at each of our hearts differently. The choices we made “there’s a price to be paid, people never crumble in a day.”(Slow Fade, Third Day)

I’ve lived with a broken heart twice as I’ve seen thoughts betray a promise made but not kept. I’ve watched the life I had crumble away. The heart was betrayed, lied to by desire, fooled by lust, and choices made destroyed so much more then a home. I’ve seen drugs take hold of people’s lives with the lies and promises that the substance make them feel better. But eventually the affects of the drugs wear off and more is needed. Then more, and before you know it you’re chasing one high to the next unable and unwilling to handle life. What seemed benign at first slowly turned to tear down the walls of everything you held most dear.

Do now allow the darkness to grab hold. Don’t allow yourself to fall victim to the thoughts that pull you away from Christ. Once down the dark path though hope is never lost, you don’t want the veiled promises. You can’t trust the lies, the whispers from the Devil. The price paid for the retched path is high. “The bill comes due, always.” (Dr. Strange) We don’t need to face those horrible consequences if we stay on the path laid out by Christ. Turn away form lies, and turn away from adultery. Stay away from hate, and don’t give into the fear. We must learn to praise God in the sun, or the rain. We must pray joy, peace, love, but if there’s a storm we must we must pray that no matter where we find ourselves we do it all for the glory of God.

God shines down from heaven today, and no matter what your situation is on this day, raise your hands to the sky, praise Jesus for the life we have. Find hope that the storm will settle, or the meadow is peaceful. Wherever the road takes you today, trust and praise Jesus. While you draw breath there is always hope. Never give up hope on God for the calm waters might be just around the river bend.