New Battle Grounds 

New Battle Grounds 

Sometimes in our life, things happen that move us from one place to another. In ancient days, Jesus, was moved for His safety from Nazareth, to Egypt. Today, in my life, I moved from one place, rural, to the urban city. Personally, I’m not a city boy, so living in the city, is always a challenge for me. Moving into the city has stressed and challenged my personal life like little has in a long time. Not only has my life turned upside down, heart surgery, moving, now, I have new relationships, which challenge my emotions. My battle zone has changed, and now, I find myself learning to fight in a far distant land. 

The Apostles, after the day of Pentecost, began to spread themselves to share the gospel. They left the comfort of their homes, and found themselves in hostile territory. Missionaries of today are the most like the Apostles of old. Even though we don’t always pick up our stuff and carry on wherever we need to go for God, we are called wherever we go, to share the gospel. The life of those who are followers of Christ, will find themselves in battles, and those battles will vary in difficulty. Recently the battles I’ve faced have been different than anything I’ve faced in the past. All the experience of the past however, the good and the bad, have prepared me for such battles. 

How can we know we are ready for the battles to come? The answer is fairly simple, but difficult to master. We must study. We must spend time in the word of God, and in that word, we must understand the message being delivered to us. Reading scripture is fine, but if we don’t take the time to truly dive in, seek the meaning behind the words, the language, and the people it was written to, we often miss the nuances of scripture. How scripture builds upon what was written, how the past points to the future, and the future points backwards to the past, and the sheer number of seamless cross references shows us the impossibility that scripture was simply man-made. Knowing and growing in the word of God, allowing those words to seep into our hearts, and most importantly, not letting the words get stuck in our minds, but rather, allowing the words to penetrate into our hearts, and changing who we are. If we read scripture and it doesn’t change us, we are essentially no different than the demons of the enemy’s army. The demons know scripture, and we cannot just know it, but we must live it. 

I have found my patience being tested and having major revelations coming to my attention, I am dealing with a major change, a change in the dynamic of my family. How does one deal with discovering truth, which is opposed to the truth of an entire life? When new truths become evident, and one is left to deal with the emotions of it, and we have to face those truths, it can be a challenge. I have found it difficult to put into words the emotions I have felt. How am I supposed to feel? What are the normal feelings for this kind of situation? I have been seeking God for answers and asking for prayers to find the answers I seek. My world has changed, forever changed, and a title I have had my whole life, something I felt was part of my identity, is no longer true, and now I must face the truth, learn about my new family, and discover a new dynamic. God does nothing by mistake, and it is my responsibility to wear the name of Christ, to be the ambassador, marching into this situation, wearing the full Armor of God, and above all standing against the prince of the air, the ruler of this world. Even though I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, I must endure, I must try my hardest to be the example, and point those whom I encounter to a very real Christ. Jesus is not just a story in some ancient book, but the son of God who rose from the dead, overcame death, and with that same resurrection power, those who believe in him, obey him, seek him, acknowledge their own sinful nature, turn from that sin, and see Christ as the only way to the father, the forgiver of sins, the blood spilt for us, so it would bridge the chasm between us and Heaven. We must believe and spend our days serving the King of Kings, and the Lord of Lords. No matter the storm I find myself in, Jesus is the captain of my ship, and I shall always keep Him at the helm, and I will go where He takes me. I will fight the good fight, and continue to hold the line. I may be in the storm by Jesus my Lord is with me. I may be in the fire, but Jesus my King is with me. I will never face my trials alone, for my Savior is with me. Forever, till the end of the age. 

As my battlefield has changed recently, the battle remains the same. As a Christian, we fight against power well beyond our weight category. Ephesians 6:12, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.” When we consider any sport that involves fighting, we should look at the weight class, and on our own, we are outclassed every time. We cannot stand against demons who are bred, created for war and service. We don’t have all the information on angels and demons, simply because God didn’t give us that much information. We know that there are angels, like Michael that can fight. An angel can stand toe to toe with a demon because a demon is a corrupted angel. We are a human, what chance do we have? We have the armor of God. The armor gives us the protection we need against demons. Another thing we have on our side, is the word of God. In fact, I would suggest, the word of God is the most effective thing we have. Demons tremble at the voice of Christ, and while we don’t have His voice, we have his words. When we are in scripture, and we are seeking God, we learn about our armor, we learn about how to protect our minds, our hearts, and learn how to walk with Christ using the sandals of the gospel of peace. We hone our armor, and our skills, by reading and growing in scripture. 

As my battlefield has changed, and I’m having surprises come into my life I could have never expected, it’s tested my emotions. I have found myself questioning myself, wondering if my continued rocky path, isn’t of my own making. I have questioned if I was worth anything, and if I was worth saving. In reality, this is spiritual warfare, but nevertheless, it’s the emotions and feelings I’ve been having. I’ve experienced major changes in my life over the last 3 months, and those changes often play with your emotions. Very little of what I’ve wanted to do has worked out the way it was supposed to. Even the simple things, that were given thought, haven’t worked out. Changes to my family have left me facing some long past hurts. Changes to my living space, has left me frustrated, and trying to find peace. Peace in my years, is all I’ve been seeking. While I realize I would have no peace in this world as long as I was a soldier for Christ, I long for peace in my home. The psalm of David rings in my ears, 

Psalm 13 How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?

How long will You hide Your face from me?

2 How long shall I take counsel in my soul,

Having sorrow in my heart all the day?

How long will my enemy be exalted over me?

3 Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;

Enlighten my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death,

4 And my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”

And my adversaries will rejoice when I am shaken.

5 But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness;

My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.

6 I will sing to the Lord,

Because He has dealt bountifully with me.

I ask the same question today. My enemy is not a man, or men, but rather the demons that seek to destroy me, and who I am. How long oh Lord, how long? With my physical pain keeping me from doing basic things, to the family, to the living space, I am met with much in the way of fodder for the devil to use. There are many areas right now under construction for him, the father of lies to use against me. The battle is being waged, and my prayers mirror the prayers of David. I will fight, and continue to fight the good fight. I will continue to serve, and be of service. I am the Lords, and I will do what I must to keep moving forward, relying not upon my own strength, but the strength of God within me. I do not fight the demons alone, for God is on my side. I know, either in this life or the next, Jesus is victorious. 

Today, March 4th, 2025, I remember my fallen brothers. 20 years today, they fell in battle. While on mission in Ar-Ramadi, the explosion ripped through the truck, almost everyone was dead in an instant. One survived, but would die of his injuries shortly after. 20 years, has gone in the blink of an eye. We survive on, keeping their memory alive. Our battlefield has changed, but we still fight. Each of us fight in our own way now, 20 years and some of us are still close. It’s hard to believe it’s been 20 years, but here we are. This time 20 years ago, I was reeling from the explosion, and the horrific aftermath. The things I would see that day would haunt my eyes, and mind to this very day. You can take the man away from the battle, but the battle will always live inside the man. The battle continues, but let us remember the fallen today. Let us remember their lives, and their sacrifice. 

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Sinful Nature 

Sinful Nature 

“A scorpion was walking along the bank of a river, wondering how to get to the other side. Suddenly he saw a fox. He asked the fox to take him on his back across the river. The fox said no. If I do that you’ll sting me, and I’ll drown. The scorpion assured him. If I did that, we’d both drown. So the fox thought about it and finally agreed. So the scorpion climbed up on his back, and the fox began to swim. But halfway across the river, the scorpion stung him. As the poison filled his veins, the fox turned to the scorpion and said why did you do that? Now you’ll drown too. I couldn’t help it, said the scorpion. It’s my nature.”  (Chakotay, ST. Voyager Scorpion Ep 1)

Our nature, is that of sin. We can try to run from it, but it’s hold is tight, and this side of glory it will never let go. We are born into it, and no matter our best efforts, we are to live with it. It’s a daily fight to push back against that sin nature. In Christian faith we call this total depravity. Without God’s intervening nature, we would hold no chance to fight against the sin nature. I have often looked at sin as a moth to a flame. We circle the sin, attracted to it, but eventually get burned by it. Sin, the curse of our forebears having eaten of the fruit from the tree of knowledge. The first disobedient act, but ultimately the second sin, the first being pride, wanting to be like God. We walk this earth, toiling the earth, the serpent nipping at our heals as we do. 

I have come to realize many will not come to see the light of the Lord. Like a cockroach with the light turned on, they flee from the light, having only longed to stay in the shadows. We look at this world, as the shadow spreads over the land, and we often wonder, what happened? Much like Théoden at the battle of Helms Deep, “How did it come to this?” “What can men do against such reckless hate?” Satan’s shadow has grown deep over the land, and the greatest lie he ever had, was to make people believe neither he, nor God, exist. 

As I’ve grown older, I pity those who have not seen the light. I have learned I cannot argue anyone into God, and by proxy, I cannot argue anyone out of sin. I will use one example. Abortion is a hot button topic in this world today. At least, it is here in the U.S. If someone believes a woman has the right to murder an unborn fetus, an unborn baby, they will not likely see the sin in that act. They are not likely to see the evil that indwells in such a decision. No, they would not likely murder another human, but to them, they can dehumanize a baby, and take its life. All in the name of choice, or worse reproductive health. Only a very few will be swayed by the arguments of a Christian, and only those whom the Holy Spirit has chosen. 

Scripture does not tell us to go into the world and argue with them what is, or is not a sin. A non-Christian will not be swayed by such arguments. Love in the face of hardships. Love in the face of persecutions. Love in the face of oppositions. Love as scripture says, covers a multitude of sins. When we truly love and we are focused on that love we can avoid many sins. But we are in fact sinners and despite being born again, a new creation, we are still the moth circling the flame. 

I cannot expect a non-Christian to have the same morals as God, and by proxy, the same morals as myself. I know that I myself am a sinner, and I look forward to the day this body passes into the dirt it came from, and my spirit rejoins my creator. I look forward to the day my mouth, my actions, my very presence, no longer causes pain to those around me. Despite being a born-again Christian, I still sin, I still say things that hurt others. My frustrations, my pain, my anger, still seep out from time to time, and I inevitably bring tears to the ones I love. I do not mean to, but it happens. As Paul in scripture says, I do the things I know I shouldn’t, and I don’t do the things I know I should. How is it a ‘Super Christian” like Paul still sins. It’s easy really, Paul was still a man, a man who indeed had the Holy Spirit in him, but a sinner nevertheless. 

We Christians have become timid in this world, from telling others about the love of Christ. Today we are considered by some to be extreme, to be a danger to democracy, to be homophobic, to be bigots, to be radicals. The world right before our eyes has become hostile to the Christian. A country that once was Christian, is no longer so. It does appear we are moving into an age where to be a Christian will be evermore dangerous for our jobs, for our livelihood. Where Christians can go to jail for preaching the word of God. Where Christians can lose a child to the state, just because they disagree with gender affirming care. Yes indeed, the air is changing, and darkness spreads over the land. 

There is hope though, for scripture tells us to never grow weary of doing good. Scripture tells us that while we will face trials and tribulations to take heart in Jesus, for he has overcome the world. To count it all joy in the midst of struggles. Scripture tells us to love our enemies, and as much as it’s up to us, to live in peace. We share the Gospel by both telling others about a great and powerful, almighty, loving, caring, and righteous God. We also share the Gospel by living it before our unbelieving neighbors. Our job is to make disciples and we do that every day, everywhere we go. We do not pick and choose the mission fields, everywhere we are is our mission field. Our very life is our mission field. We share the Love of Christ to everyone we meet, and as an ambassador for Christ we should look different every day, everywhere, to everyone. 

We must hold our heads high in the midst of the battle, not for our own sakes, but for those watching us. We must hold our tongues when those speak out against us, and speak only what is edifying for the hearer. We must maintain our witness in all situations, so others may see the dim reflection of Christ in us. The moon does not produce light of its own, but reflects the bright light from the sun. If we are to be the moon’s light, we are to light the world in the darkness. Jesus left us instructions when we left. The word of God was put to paper so we would not have to blindly navigate this world alone. Everything we need for this life is found in scripture, and it is our job to share the good news with all we encounter. 

Do not try to win futile arguments about morality to an immoral people. Instead continue to share your faith. Continue to share your testimony about what God has done for you. Continue to share the words of scripture to those around you. In order to have a defense of your faith, you must know your faith, so that means you must be in the word, you must study, you must be in constant communication with the Lord. You must be on your knees praying before a Holy God, and ask for him to intercede in your heart, and show you the path. WE do not walk within our own understanding, but walk in the ways of the Lord. Walk in the way He has prepared for you, and never give up. Never stop doing good, and never stop praying for anyone. Sometimes prayer takes years to be answered, but make no mistake, God hears you. Are we sinners, yes, must we ask for forgiveness when we sin against others, or against God, yes. We must also forgive those who have trespassed against us. All sin is equal at the foot of the cross, and all sin equals a sentence of Hell. But God had a plan, and that plan was Jesus, who came, bore no sin of his own, took upon our sins, so the wrath and righteousness of God would be satisfied. We would be justified in Christ, and through the Holy Spirit sanctified daily. We are enemies of God, made right before God, for God the Father sees only the blood of his son. On our behalf, Jesus is at the thrown as our intercessor, our mediator, our High Priest. Glory to God in the Highest, and Peace to His People. 

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700

700

I almost missed this milestone, and how sad that would have been. How fitting that last night I watched the video for the first time I taught class in church. The lesson I taught was on the full armor of God. I have been putting thought in my own growth over the last few days. It’s interesting how God works things out, that I had lost track of how many posts I have had, and this gives me the opportunity to see at least how far I’ve come in numbers. I started this ministry on February 23rd 2017, and now 700 posts later, I’m still, by the grace of God, going strong. I’ve tried to step away and slow down, and while I must admit I’ve missed a day or so in the last couple months, I’ve maintained a steady stream of posts. It’s not been an easy road, maintaining full time school, this ministry, and my social events. God has been good to me, blessing me, and watching over me as I have continued to try my best to do good works.

2018 has been a good year for my blog. While of course my numbers aren’t where I’d like them to be, I feel blessed that this year there was an increase then that of 2017. The number of views I’ve had so far this year have been 9,497. The visitors has been 5,901, likes 637, and 112 comments. While some of these numbers are far lower then I’d like, I must confess that if my blog just touches one life and helps strengthen someone’s walk with Christ then I’ve done exactly what God has asked me of. This year my blog has been viewed in 105 different countries. While I’m not able to go out to all the nations, I have been able to reach many, and I thank God for giving me the ability to continue the great commission in my own way.

Matthew 28:16-20Then the eleven disciples went away into Galilee, to the mountain which Jesus had appointed for them. 17 When they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some doubted.18 “And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.” 

We all have our own gifts, our own voice, our own special talents, and we must be thankful for what we have because we have been specially chosen for them by God, to live a life with a special purpose. We all our place in this world, and even when someone feels lost, or disconnected, or even alone, fear not, we are never far from God. The wonderful thing about God is we don’t need an appointment to sit down with Him. We don’t need to wait in a crowded hospital emergency room to be seen for our ailments. God is right there waiting for us when we are ready to accept His Son Jesus Christ into our hearts. There’s never a time when Jesus stops loving us. There’s never a time when God forgets us. There’s never a time we are alone on our path. We may be lost in our own way, but the path of God is always lit up. It’s not easy being a Christian today, with so many reasons not too, with so many opinions, and science, and hateful people, but as we understand scripture, the name Christian will become more offensive as we get closer to the end times. We should not be surprised that holiday’s such as Christmas begins to get pushed back in meaning, while the name alone survives. The birth of a baby boy is so far removed from peoples minds, that now it’s about the gifts, the deals, the food, and very little is about the birth of our savior. How wonderful it is to be able to write about God freely without fear of being persecuted by my government, without fear of executions or my family being targeted as enemies of the state. For now I write and I am blessed that God has given such a wonderful gift.

I can only hope and pray that as time moves forward for me, and as I work to a new type of ministry, this has not only allowed me to reach thousands of people in the time since it’s inception, but it’s helped me grow closer to God by diving deeper into His word, and teaching me valuable lessons not only about scripture, but myself also. I wonder how much I’ve grown, and not just in scriptural knowledge, but in a visible way. As I study to be approved, and I continue on a path towards ordination, and finishing my degree, I pray God continues to light my path, remove obstacles unnecessary for my growth, and continues to forge me into a Soldier of Christ. I do not claim to look forward to the trials ahead, but I know and understand, and expect them to come. It’s in trials we learn the most, and show how far we’ve come. God has blessed me with a wonderful lady Argie in my life, wonderful friends, an amazing best friend and brother Glen in Christ, and I could not ask for more blessings. It’s taken me a long time to find contentment in my life, and as I have not always been the most ideal picture of patience, I confess I am glad in some ways that wait is over. Even though there are trials ahead, and challenges in both my walk with Christ, and my relationship with such a wonderful woman of God, I know that God is still in control, and still working out the board for the path to twist and turn exactly where it needs too. I am so grateful for my friends that are always there for me, especially my few close friends in the Philippines. I am truly blessed to have a couple friends from that wonderful country that are so wonderful, and sweet, and loyal.

I am looking forward to m hiking trip in January on the Appalachian trail that I will be focusing on a series I’ll write about the Apostle Paul. I will be on the trail for somewhere around six days maybe longer on a set route. I am blessed to be able to take time away from my busy life and dive into God’s word, and hear the message He lays upon my heart. I expect it to be a challenge physically and mentally as I will face cold, and separation from friends and family. This will be an amazing opportunity for me, and I pray God blesses my trip, and keeps my friends safe while I’m away.

Other then my relationship change, and my continued efforts towards finishing my degree there isn’t a whole lot new in my life. The status quo seems to be a fairly constant and consistent motion for now, and while there have been spiritual attacks along the way, with the guidance and blessings from God, along with God appointed people in my life at the right times, I have been able to weather all the storms and keep pushing forward. It’s hard to believe it’s been another 100 posts but God is good, and as long as God continues to bless me with messages, I will continue to write and post, and pray to inspire others along my own spiritual journey. God bless all of you, and please feel free to share this website with others, maybe we can get a small ember to turn into a flame for God. 

The Signal

The Signal

Batman sits atop a roof in the midst of another gloomy night in Gothem. The evening fog covers the low levels of the city, while it looks like a storm is moving in. The lightning and the thunder can be heard in the distance but with each passing minute Batman knows it’s only a matter of minutes before the storm will be right overhead. The wind picks up and his cape begins to flutter in the breeze. Soon the cape is wiping in the wind. Without fail the bright spotlight flickers on and soon the sky is lit with the symbol that criminals fear, the bat shines in the sky, without a moments hesitation Batman dives off the roof, his cape becomes ridged and he’s gliding between the buildings. He’s off to fight crime, causing fear in the criminal underworld. The Bat isn’t a symbol of hope, but fear, a warning to those who wish to do harm to their city.

 

We as Christians have a signal too. We see the cross as our symbol, and even though we worship on our Sundays I ask if we are jumping into action upon the signal God puts into our life? When the Holy Spirit starts to whisper in your ear nudging you to go forth and spread the gospel, are we getting up and going out to evangelize? Imagine if the Bat Signal were to go up into the sky and Batman stopped going out to answer the call. Imagine in our real world, what would happen if when you call 911 and the police, or fire, or paramedics never answered the call. The world would quickly turn to chaos as we have to fend for ourselves, and homes burned, family dies, and law is taken into our own hands.

Are you a person of action when Jesus calls upon you? It’s important to be a people of ‘Do’ and not a people of ‘not my responsibility’. Scripture tells us that we must not just sit on our hand, but work, to do work for the Holy Spirit and we should be driven to do good works.

James 2:14-17 ESV“What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.”

James 1:23-25 ESV“For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.”

Recently I have had the privilege of hearing about the beautiful things happening within my church as we have entered the mission trip presentation month of September. I have heard so many wonderful things about how missions are changing the world one trip at a time. A very good friend’s wife went to Honduras and spoke about the thousands of people that the mission was able to help. Missions that are changing the world is not a new thing, but the question is, are you ignoring the call to get involved? My church offers several different mission trips every year and the call, the signal has been put up for the entire church to see. Not everyone is called to go overseas, but everyone is called. Everyone is called to bring precious glory to the Heavenly Father. We are called to work for the Lord in any way that our gifts allow. I say to you that we are all called, and we all have the power within our own hands, gifted by the Holy Spirit to do good things for God. Jesus Christ has called us to go forth, and we are told to do good in the name of the Lord. Matthew 28:16-20 (NKJV)16 “Then the eleven disciples went away into Galilee, to the mountain which Jesus had appointed for them. 17 When they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some doubted. 18 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go [a]therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” [b]Amen.”

We see the symbol of the Cross shining brightly in front of us and those who choose to stay in their seats, comfortable and safe, who refuse to get up and do more then just listen to the sermons on Wednesday and Sunday, I say this, you are sinners. James 4:17 ESVSo whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.”You sit back and let others do what you are called to do, and you dishonor yourselves, and you dishonor the cross. You dishonor the Christ who died for you, and you willfully sin in your laziness, or worse, cowardice. We are told in scripture that we are protected. 2 Thessalonians 3:3 (NKJV)3 “But the Lord is faithful, who will establish you and guard you from the evil one.” And also Deuteronomy 31:6 (NKJV)6 “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”

We ought not to be afraid to leave our comfort zones, but courageous that we are doing the Lords work and we will be blessed for it. We have a duty to preach the word of the Lord, to take care of the homeless, the helpless, to give up in spreading the truth of Jesus Christ. We all struggle, and we all fall short, but Christ is always there for us. No matter what you have going on in your life trust in God to help see you through. Make good choices, Godly choices, and plant good seeds so you may bear the sweet fruit, which is fed by the Holy Spirit. Be of joy and courage in your times of troubles, and let Jesus give you strength to show you how to share what you have experienced in Christ with others who’ve never known the name Jesus. Do not doubt yourself, for if God is for you, then who can be against you. The signal is set up, the Cross is lit, and you are being called, will you back down, or will you answer your Lord who calls upon you?

 

 

300

300

It seems almost ironic that at 300 posts I’m nearly ready to go move on with my life. I’ve spent the last 388 days trying to learn to rebuild. In that time I’ve had some great success and have made wonderful progress. I’ve also suffered major setbacks and further pain. The blog was meant to be a way for me to reach others. It was meant for me to talk to others about the pain I hold inside and despite my best efforts I still have. While in some way and by some measures the blog has been highly successful, I don’t feel it’s reached the height of it’s potential as I wished it had. At my 200th blog entry, July 4th I had “1286 Visitors, 3628 Views, I’ve had 359 likes and 235 Comments. I have reached an astounding 51 countries.” Now 100 posts later I look back over the last 100 days. In 100 days instead of moving to Colorado I suffered a major back injury and instead of migrating west I underwent the knife, received a titanium plate, didn’t drive for a month and a half, and haven’t shot my bow in a hundred days. I’ve not dated anyone, and the only “date” I went on was my wife whom I’ve been separated since last September. Sounds pathetic when I say it out loud, but the chance to go play mini golf, dinner, and hang out was far to much to pass up. While I haven’t done anything spectacular except write, and I’ve kept my mother company, but overall, my contribution to life has been sadly disappointing.

What can I say about the 300 mark that doesn’t sound self-serving? I’ve been struggling to find the inspiration to write every day. It’s not been an easy 100 drays and in that time I’ve written to stay afloat, but the ideas, the titles, the scripture just hasn’t come to me as it once had. The month of September my views dropped by nearly 50%. While I have been told not to judge my own success based on others responses I’ve watched as people celebrate 100 followers in just a couple months. To date I’m at 75, and I’ve been here for months. I would guess the best way to look at this is I’ve continued to reach multiple countries. I’ve continued to reach new people, and while my following has slowed a great deal I continue my work, my mission. 229 days ago I started this mission and I’ve grown. My studies, my growth and my understanding of scripture have grown a great deal.

While I continue looking forward to whatever God has planned for my future, I pray for many things. This journey has been a lonely one, and while I fully understand there was a reason for God to keep me alone all this time I can’t help but hope that time is over. This journey of discovery has been the most difficult year of my life. As I’ve struggled with my own mortality, my own grief, my own demons, I have walked this journey not alone but hand in hand with Christ. While I’ve faced the darkness I can only ask for continued grace even though I’ve done nothing to deserve it. We fail every day and even as I’ve failed, as I’ve fallen, the good Lord has picked me up, brushed off my scrapped knees, and has held my hand when the seas got rough.

While I will always love those from my past, and I pray I will love again in my future, the days that come are slow and long. A look back over the last 100 days and I now sit at 2814 Visitors, 500 Likes, 6114 Views, and 86 Countries.

The voice that calls to me, speaking my name, I turned away for so long, but now I succumb to the voice and let go of who I once was. The days that came and went were only lessons to be learned. I glance behind only to see how long I’ve come. The days of past may haunt us in dreams, but can no longer harm us. The days of yesterday hold grip but tomorrow is where the focus should be. While I am uncertain of my path, uncertain of what may come my way, I am certain of only one thing, God is forever standing by my side. Where there’s trouble you must just call for the Lord and you will not be alone. Our safety is never certain, our prayers are not always answered, but we can rest assure there’s always a reason. While I have prayed every day for someone to truly accept me as theirs, while I have prayed that the fight with the VA would finally be over, while I have prayed that enough would be enough and I’d finally be able to live in a semi state of peace, that has not come to pass. As the road is long and hard I find myself weak and weary. I pray for help, I pray for guidance, and as I am continuously filled with conviction, with God’s love, I have the strength to get by one day at a time. As I rely on God’s grace and mercy I realize the enemy is the Devil, and the doubt is the whispers told in the dark. Like the Spartan’s I would gladly kick Satan down into the abyss, yelling “This Is Sparta!” Or like the President on Air Force One “Get off my plane!” You get the idea. Don’t let Satan lie to you and keep you from reaching your full potential.

While I cannot deny the blessings that are coming my way, it’s a bitter sweet. 300 posts, and as I wait to see how long I can keep up this pace, I know that eventually all good things must come to and end. Where I go form here I don’t know, but what I do know is I will continue to do God’s work, and try to make this world a better place. While I can’t say this blog will have won me any kind of notoriety, I do hope I’ve at least been influential in at least a life. I can only hope and pray that’s the case. The day shall rise and fall, and like the shadows on the wall, the season changes. Hope and prayer are sometimes the two greatest assets we may ever hold onto. Don’t loose hope even when things seem to be at their most bleak. When we look down even for just a moment, we take our eyes off of what’s in front of us, our focus dwindles for a moment, and next thing you know you look up and you’re about to collide with an iceberg. Don’t loose focus because it could be your doom if you do.

While I have noted a sharp drop in my following, and some days the posts I make don’t get a single hit anymore. These days all I can do is try to get the blogs out there. I can only hope to spread the word and hope that others will do so if they feel the desire to. Getting the word out, spreading the website, reposting the blog, sharing with friends and colleagues. My hope is to continue to expand, and I hope to reach more people every day.