Tag: Living in a tent

Beyond Measure

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Beyond Measure 

Since becoming a true Christian, something I’ve heard in that time is “You Can’t Outgive God.” I’d say that’s beyond true. When I became a Christian, not that I didn’t grow up knowing who Christ was, but when I truly understood and surrendered to Him, the creator of the universe, I found a new understanding. In recent years I have found myself fighting for every inch on the football field of life. In the last several years I have struggled financially, living paycheck to paycheck, barely scrapping the bottom of the barrel every month. See, I live in a tent in the back yard of my mother’s house. I’ve lived in a tent for three years now. It isn’t a small camping tent, but it is still at the heart of it, a tent. It’s hot in the summer, and cold in the winter. Until recently the winters could be rough. Having power but not fire, I was able to only heat a maximum of 30 degrees at great financial cost. 30* each night would raise my bill nearly 200-$300 dollars. Thankfully this year someone donated a pellet stove but came at the end of winter and was no use to me, so far anyway. Summers are hot, with no shade, and the temperature inside the tent can become upwards of 130*F. A bit hot, I’d say. While, I’m not complaining at all, this is the life that I had been handed, and I have been making the best of my situation. Recently I was about to leave the house and before I did, I checked my bank account and saw $68 left. While of course it was enough for the end of the month, it wasn’t enough to buy any groceries. Money has been the bane of my existence for some time now. 

Years ago, I remember asking God for patience. I had undergone hardship and loss. Having such a small income, and worsening health, my ability to work became less likely. Somehow, the Lord has supplied every need I’ve had over the last several years. In times of absolute need the Lord would supply me with the means to manage a problem, even from as far away as a longtime friend who sent me money to help. Though she did not know what my need was, she sent money anyway, because she felt I needed help. The amount she sent was the exact amount I needed to fix my car. And of course, we cannot forget the winter stove which was anonymously donated. That stove will change my life in this upcoming winter. While those are only two examples, there are many more over the last 8 years. The Lord saved my life in the back of an ambulance when all those in the ambulance thought my days were done, the Lord had other plans for me. How magnificent is the Lord and His ability to take the most awful things, and turn them into blessings. Not knowing how the bills would be paid, and certainly not knowing how I’d be able to put food on the table, or fix things when needing to be fixed, the Lord has taught me patience, by immersing me in situations where patience was needed. There has been another virtue the Lord has taught me along with patience, and that’s been trust, and faith. Faith in Him, and knowing in that faith that He will work things out. Not that I won’t have trouble, but He is with me in that trouble. 

Over the last several years as I mentioned, my health has been deteriorating. Not a day goes by I am not in a tremendous amount of pain. I have done my best to try and enjoy life, and to do things with the youth at my church, go for hikes, and walks, do my own yard work, but as I said recently and many times before, “everything I do comes at a cost.” The key is whether or not I am able and willing to pay the cost. As a famous line in a marvel film once said, “The bill comes due, always.” Thankfully Jesus paid the ultimate bill for me, a bill I could have never paid for. Having very little chance to work and make any significant amount of money, I have found myself concerned about my future. Would I ever be able to take care of my family? It is no secret inflation has risen in the United States, but sadly the veteran income does not equal a living wage. Where I live the average rent in around $1200 a month, and that’s recently just the bad neighborhoods. Sad to say, that’s what I used to pay for a pretty nice apartment back in the day. Now, it’s just the crime ridden places, that this is the cost of rent alone. Now, with the average being 12-1500 a month, let’s take a look at veteran pay. For a 100% the average income (Which is public record) is around $3900. It doesn’t take a budget expert to see where this could become a problem. After you take rent, and add insurance, and other exploding bill cost, you can see where even an apartment would be very tight. Sadly, for me, a few years back, I was faced with several very large bills in which I couldn’t pay for, and it left me with credit card debt I couldn’t get out from under. I was facing a fire, one that I could not put out, but only mildly control. A few more emergencies and those balances would nearly max the account. Again, am I complaining, no, it’s just the facts. In order for us to understand the enormity of the Lords blessings we must understand the enormity of our situations. Much like my debt problem, that I couldn’t pay off, we have a debt problem we couldn’t pay off either. Jesus paid that debt. Jesus willingly came to earth, placed himself in harm’s way, took himself out of safety and perfection to come to this dismal little planet, live a sinless but difficult life, and then hang on a tree he created for himself to be crucified and buried for our transgressions. He paid a bill for not just one person, but the entirety of the worlds transgressions, but why? 

We are sinners by birth, a curse passed down from Adam to the rest of humanity. We are born with a debt, a mark we cannot hope to pay. We in our sin nature reject God. You do not have to teach a child to hit someone when they get angry, they do that on their own. You do not have to teach a child to lie, they do that on their own. You do not need to teach a child not to share, they do that all on their own. As Voddie Baucham once said, “Vipers in Diapers”. By our very nature we are born with sin, born with an innate sense of pride, and we want things our way. Have you ever seen a child throw a tantrum in a store because they didn’t get what they wanted? That’s the natural behavior of a child, and yet somewhere along the line we have people teaching that we are innately good. It is only by God’s grace and mercy are we good, and only good by earthly standards. By holy standards, none are good, nor are they righteous, no, not one. Jesus paid for our sins, He paid the debt we could not, by his own life. I heard it said once, if you scratch a car in a junkyard no one cares. But if you scratch a Ferrari or some other nice car, you’d likely go to jail for it. The story came with a point, it’s the value of a thing that makes it so special. Jesus was valuable which is why his life was enough to pay for the rest of humanity. He was perfect, God incarnate, and thus His sacrifice, to be the spotless lamb, would be enough to pay the debt, to be the propitiation, the substitution on our behalf. We are sinners, in need of a savior, and Jesus was that sacrifice so we may have restitution with the Father. 

In the last few years, I had become increasingly aware of the mounting debt I couldn’t get out from underneath. Having realized I’d never work again, I didn’t know how I would manage. I didn’t know how I could take care of my family. If I was ever blessed with a child, I didn’t know how I would ever be able to provide. The nights of stress kept me awake. In recent months my car had begun making strange sounds in the front tire area, and in recent days that sound turned from bad to worse as metal on metal could be heard. Needless to say, my concern for a major repair cost was on my mind. Why would God place this physical burden upon me, but not change anything else? Why wouldn’t God heal me so I could go to work to take care of my family? In recent years, especially this year, teaching and ‘preaching’ the word of God has become my primary job, yet one I do not make a single penny for. Years of telling God I wouldn’t do well as a pastor, or preacher, God it seems thought I was funny. I continued to tell God what I wouldn’t do, and here I am, writing about God’s grace, and sovereignty. A few months back the Lord provided me the way to get a mic and a cheap camera for my computer. I resumed my podcast, and now I do two podcasts a week and I still write. While I don’t get paid for what I do, the Lord has called me to do this ministry, and I have obeyed His call. Having not worked now for over 20 months, I have found I enjoy putting together lessons and being in His word. Very few days go by when I am not opening the Bible and learning something new. The days I do not get a chance to dive in, at the very least I am reading a devotional. Very recently I have started a prayer journal, and keep up daily with prayers and praises to the Lord. As my car’s looming repair was over my head, (and at the time of this writing, has not been repaired) I knew I was in trouble. The Lord’s timing is perfect. 

Over the last several months I have been preparing for a social security trial in which I would go before a judge and plead my case, with the help of a lawyer. I was under no illusions my case, while strong, wasn’t a sure thing. Patience has been the keyword in my life for a while. Waiting several months on end for a decision, only to be rejected, and having to move forward to the next phase, has taught me valuable lessons. Through our entire life we often try to feebly make our way through life, using our own idea to fix things on our own volition. We often think we know what’s best and we try to fix things on our own. When we try to fix things on our own apart from God, we most frequently screw it up. Thankfully, patience, and trust have left me with a new respect for God, and to trust His plan. I have learned to trust God and to do so with His timing, and not my own. God has shown me He is greater than all my own understanding, and by trusting in Him, I believe I am being, for lack of a better term, rewarded. My continued faith through adversity and strife, has brought me here, where the Lord in His mercy and grace, has shown me favor, and thus providing me ‘a way out’. It is said the Lord will not put more on you then you can handle, but the true statement is the Lord will not allow you to undergo temptation without a way out. Jesus is the way out of temptations. I believe my situation has given me insight to the difficulty in life itself. I am, thankfully seeing a change in situation, a change in the winds upon my face, and the seas ahead. 

As I am expected to see significant changes in my life, I am left knowing that all my struggles, and time have not been in vain. All my strife has not been for nothing. The Lord uses everything we go through, from the traumas of living in a broken world, to the test He himself may bring upon us to discipline us, or to strengthen our resolve. What the devil uses for evil, the Lord will use it for good. While I do not know the reason for the years of struggle, and now the sudden reversal of fortune, one thing has stood out to me, it will not be an easy transition. I am very aware of my concerns of returning to a life of poverty, and worse my failing to provide for my family. I believe that while it has yet to dawn on my brain the nature of what’s about to change, I will, in time adapt, albeit keep a close eye on the devil and his desire to destroy me. I have spent years trying to rebuild my life, and while I will remain in this beautiful white, canvas tent, I will be able to pay forward the blessings the Lord has given to me. While I do not know what that looks like, the Lord’s people are never shy of need. Years ago it brought me great joy, and I believe a greater joy to the Lord, for me to provide a car for a friend. Paid for by my hard work in the military. How I have wished to be able to be there like that, for people again. I do not know what my future holds, nor am I brazen enough to say all my worries will end, but Lord willing, I will have some time to breathe, and perhaps enjoy a little of God’s beautiful creation. God blesses each of us in different ways. The biggest blessing I have been blessed with, is not a change of fortune financially, but that of love. I was brought to this place, and not by chance was I introduced to those whom I would now call family. The Lord’s providence is at work, even when we do not see it, He’s working. 

I think back to the 400 years of silence between the Old and New Testaments. Was God sitting down playing games, not paying attention to us little people? No, he was moving pieces, working in the world, setting up governments, they would rise and fall, and change the landscape of the world. Eventually Rome would take over and through Rome, roads, and pathways, cities, and trade were established. These things made the way for the Gospel to be moved throughout the known world. Why was Christ born when he was? So that he would die on the cruelest torture device ever created by man. So His disciples would go and spread His Gospel to the known world. God was working then, and He’s still working now. We cannot ever know just how many tragedies He’s saved us from, or how many wrong choices we’ve avoided because of His intervening. We just don’t know what He’s actually doing. What we do know is God is good and wants good for us. Do we put ourselves aside to do His work? Do we bring Christ into every aspect of our lives, or do we just say hello on Sunday and Wednesday? Do others know we are a Christian because we always talk about it, or show Christ in our daily actions? Or would you die and no one would have known one way or another? Life is short, a vaper in the cosmos, and we have a great opportunity to seek God, because if you have the desire, it means He’s calling you. No one comes to the father unless He calls them first. Sheep do not come unless they are called. Our blessings are beyond measure; beyond anything we could comprehend. Our blessings far exceed our wildest imaginations, considering what treason, what being an enemy of the throne would bring as punishment. Death, certain death, but not a death outside of existence, but the soul survives the death of the body, therefore leaving an eternal punishment of the soul. No one is sent to Hell from God, but rather, in our obstinance, in our defiance, in our own lust for power and control, we walk the wide path straight to the fires of Hades, Hell. Christ’s gift to us, his freely given gift of grace and mercy every moment of every day, that we are not wiped from existence, but rather a gift of salvation, or being made clean of our sins, so that we may through our faith in him, enter into Heaven. Sadly, in this life, we are seeing nations falling to their desires, their lusts of power. While the Lord may hand people over to their own demise, some will remain who chose to accept the Lords’ gift, and will lay everything aside to follow Him. The rewards are beyond measure, but for me, I’d do it without the rewards. I seek no rewards, other than one sentence. “Well done, my good and faithful son.” I want to please my Lord, I want to know He’s proud of me in what I’ve become, and what I’ve fought through to be. I want to be known as a servant for Christ, and have him be pleased and proud of me. All I want is his hug and acceptance of me. I don’t wish to have bobbles, or jewels, or mansions, just to be with my Abba Father for all eternity is reward for me. It’s a gift beyond measure, so no matter the hardships faced, and those I’ve yet to endure, I pray for the Lords strength to replace my own, as I try to be a good man in the sight of the Lord. A man who God loves, and a man He’s proud of. God’s in control, He’s the good captain, and I’m just trying to do my best, and follow His commands. God has not made me a rich man of money, but a man rich in love. God has shown me favor in His love, and perhaps someday, I will no longer call this beautiful white tent home, but maybe, just maybe, I’ll have a real home, made of brick and mortar. Lord willing. The greatest gift the Lord has ever given was the gift of life through his Son Jesus dying on the cross. He created us for a relationship to Himself, and redeemed us in his Son.

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Let’s Get Rich

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Let’s Get Rich:

I have spent the vast majority of my life a poor individual. Not that my character is poor, no, I mean my wallet. Growing up I didn’t know what it meant to have money. I remember one Thanksgiving a giant basket of food was dropped on our doorstep just a few days before the holiday. Why us? I wondered. I knew we were always hurting for money though because, I received free lunch in school. I knew there were three categories, full pay, discount, and free, and I knew it was based on your family’s income. I can also recall Christmas’s where I know my grandpa foot the bill for my presents. I knew money was tight when the food stamps ran out because, there was little or no money left for food. I knew mac and cheese, chicken, because it was cheap, and hot dogs. Oh, and one cannot forget the cereal dinners. I’m not angry about it, because no matter what, or who it came from, God always provided, and I never went hungry. Yes, there were times a meal came from a neighbor, or two, but while I noticed, I never felt like I was going to go without food. Summers were a little more challenging, but I spent a lot of time away from home, so of course lunch time rolls or dinner rolls around, and I ate with friends then too. Again, God always provided. I didn’t always get the newest toy I wanted, and I rarely had new clothes, but I was clothed. Even when other kids were cruel because of what I wore, at least I had clothing. Even if I didn’t feel that at the time. Bullying can be tough for a child. 

When I moved out from home, and I moved in with my grandpa, meals changed. The type of house I lived in changed, and eventually I wound up with a car, that grandpa paid for. I got myself a job when I was old enough. I had spending money. I learned early that those with money, ought to be generous towards those who don’t. While in school, I was often the guy people turned too for a few dollars for the soda machine, or a snack from the vending machines. Even gas from time to time. When I was in the military, I had no bills, and no expenses, minus a few dollars for haircuts, or pens or markers needed in basic training. Needless to say, the money from my paycheck was all going to savings. I wasn’t rich by any means, but when my aunt had a major stroke midway through training, I had the funds to help out. I sent money that was used to support for my cousins during that time. At some point early in my career, I sent somewhere around $5k home to a friend to buy a car. A little while later, I sent around $2K to help another friend with college payments. Why do I say all this? It isn’t for my own pat on the back, or even for the recognition. It’s about something much deeper, and much more important. 

Today, I’m sure many people were worried about the end times. I’ve seen post after post about preparing for the end. It honestly reminded me of Y2K, and 2012. I spent the day outside with family peering up at the beauty of God’s creation, and his perfect plan for the universe. An astronomical event, of this kind being rare, was something I dared not miss. Not once did I think the end times were coming. No, I just wanted to enjoy the sight, and marvel at God’s creation. While I was doing this, I know thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, or millions of people were indeed worried about what this rare eclipse could mean. Is this the end of the world, or the beginning of the end? IS this a sign from God? I’m not trying to poke fun of anyone, but for those who don’t know the word, it’s easy to let fear guide your actions and thoughts.

How are these two things related? Thank you for asking. Ultimately it comes down to God’s word. While there are millions of people giving every bit of money they have, albeit not much, to churches in the hopes of sewing a seed, and God doubling or more their investment, they are putting their hope in money to change their lives. In the same breath millions of people believe in Jesus, but also superstitions, and mystical energies (Not the Holy Spirit), and put their hope in everything but God. In reality, both are equally as dangerous to one’s own soul. One cannot be a slave to two masters. One cannot serve God and also superstition and astrology. One cannot serve God while serving their desire for riches and prosperity. Scripture is very clear on these points. If we are more worried about our bank accounts than serving God, we might need a spiritual checkup. If we are more worried about what our zodiac sign says this month, we might need a spiritual checkup. I cannot help but wish to be rich in my life. It’s a longing I cannot explain, and a desire that rests above all else. It isn’t for money though, but rather rich in the spirit. I desire to be rich in the fruits of the spirit. 

Galatians 5:22-23

“22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.” 

Love: Agape- Divine love, Christs love to man, 

Joy: Joy- delight

Peace: spiritual peace, 

Longsuffering: Patience in troubles and difficulties

Kindness: goodness, excellence, uprightness, goodness of heart. 

Goodness: A sterner word for kindlier. 

Faithfulness: In active sense of faith, belief, trust, confidence, religious faith in God or Christ. 

Glentleness: meekness: Having power but refraining from using it. 

Self-Control: Mastery, control over one’s self. 

Each of these is the Biblical definition of the original word in Greek. The ‘be full of the spirit’, is to be full of the fruit of the spirit. One does not simply wake up one day and boom, there it is, you’re a super Christian now. No, my friends, it takes work, and effort to be full of these things. As I said, I wish to be rich in these things. I was always blessed with a caring heart, sometimes too much so for my own good. Meaning, it led me to disaster more times than I could count. Perhaps, I lacked wisdom in my youth, to decern a good friend, from a bad one, or a lack of protecting my heart. Either way, I often gave sacrificially not for my own benefit, but because I felt led to help where I could. When I was in need as a child, I often had people going out of their way to help me, so in my heart, I felt I needed to do the same. My prayer today, is that someday, I am blessed with the funds to get back to where I was in my younger days as a man, before the dark days came. 

A few bad choices led me down the road of destruction, and so far in my life, God has not restored what I have lost. He has however never stopped blessing me. While I do live paycheck to paycheck, and I do struggle to make ends meet, and even struggle putting food on the table sometimes, He’s never not shown up. Somehow, some way, God always provides. Does He not take care of the birds of the air, or the grass in the field, how much more does he love you. Let tomorrow worry for itself, for today has enough problems. (Matthew 6:26-27) What we really need to be focused on, is the love of God, and knowing Him. We need to be focused on growing that relationship, and being rich in love, and mercy, grace, and forgiveness, and the fruits of the spirit. If we spent more time focused on those things, rather than trying to line our pockets with riches, that we’re likely to use for sinful idols, we may actually find ourselves better off. 

Nowhere in scripture does it say you’ll be rich if you follow Christ. In fact, scripture warns about the love of money. 1 Timothy 6:10 “10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.” It warns about where you put your heart. Matthew 6:21 21 “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” It warns about the idols we collect. Isaiah 45:20B “They have no knowledge, Who carry the wood of their carved image, And pray to a god that cannot save.” If God blesses you, that is entirely God’s prerogative. If he doesn’t, that’s also his prerogative. Scripture doesn’t say God wants you to prosper now, meaning never have trials, and be not be poor. And God’s plan for your life, is for you to worship Him, to give him glory, and thanks for what you’ve been given. Knowing what is meant for you, or the nation of Israel, is vital to properly exegesis of scripture. You are not in the Bible, and while we can glean, and take things out that apply to us, we need to know the difference in how everything applies. Let me give you an example. 

If you read Exodus, and you see how God gives Israel manna from Heaven, does that mean God will do the exact same thing for you? No, of course not, but what it does mean, is, as the people of Israel were forced to trust and rely on God for provision, so shall you. Trusting in God’s plan, no matter if it means we go through a storm, or not, that He will see us through it. Do not expect to get rich as a Christian since, in reality, we don’t see in scripture Christians who were rich. We do see those helping the church sacrificially. We see in the NT scripture says to give sacrificially, never in the NT does it say give a 10th, or a tithe. We are called to give yes, but based on one’s own heart and ability. Nowhere in scripture does it mean if you give 100 Denari, then you’ll get 250 in return somehow. If you’re focused on the seeds of wealth being sewn, and not the seeds of the Gospel into hearts of the unbeliever, you may be following a false, fake, counterfeit gospel. 

My prayer is for myself to continue to grow in the Holy Spirit. I wish to grow closer to God, and have a deeper understanding of his word and wishes for my life. I pray my gifts be put to use in the service of his kingdom. I wish to return to a position in my life where I can be just as generous as the days of old. I do pray that someday I no longer live in a tent, but till that day comes, I am happy for the canvas roof over my head, the warm bed to sleep in at night, a family who loves me, and food upon my table. I have worked hard in my life and my body is broken at an early age. I will no longer make large sums of money, and as a disabled veteran, not even making social security, I don’t even make a 1/3 of what’s required in today’s economy for a house, (where I live). I struggle with finances, let alone make what the new nationwide average says I need to live comfortably. But even though I never expect to make lots of money, I know God will somehow make a way for me to not be in the tent forever. One thing I know about God is, He blesses the faithful. Sometimes blessings don’t always look like what we may hope for, or expect, but they are always there. 

Being rich doesn’t mean having a lot of money, no, it means having an abundance of love. It means having more mercy from God, than I could ever deserve. Being rich is being blessed with loving friends and family. Being rich is being thankful for what you have, and counting your blessings one by one. Being rich is God providing your needs, even if He doesn’t provide your every want. Being rich is having physical ailments that leave you in chronic daily pain, but having so much love in your life, the pain can’t ruin your day. Let us want to get rich in God’s love and blessings in our lives. Not of earthly stuff that will quickly pass away, but in the things that really matter. 1 Timothy 6:9-11 9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. WE MUST BE CAREFUL WITH WHAT WE FOCUS ON! The things we turn into idols, even if we don’t mean too, can draw us away from God. Matthew 6:19 19 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; We cannot put a price on love, mercy, grace, joy, peace, gentleness, longsuffering, goodness, and self-control, the greatest of all is love. If you’ve got love, the rest will take care of itself, and knowing we are loved by Christ, and the Father will take care of us, money is less important. Sure, we all need money to survive, and sometimes it takes hard work, and dedication, and perseverance, but that just means we need to be active in changing our situation (when able). We must work as scripture says. We are to be gracious, and generous, when we can, but be abundant in the fruit of the spirit to all. Money should never be our focus, and certainly not our priority. God is the priority, and repenting of our sins, and putting our faith in Christ, not to rid us of the storm, but to be there with us in the midst of the storm. Let us get rich together, not of gold, and silver, diamonds, and gems, but let us get rich in the spirit of God. Go, and seek God first the Kingdom of God, in accordance to the scriptures. 

Peace and Love be upon you. 

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