Wake UP
As most of you know, well, maybe not most, but anyone who knows me, knows I love the movie the Matrix, and not just the movie, but the whole series. The women in the red dress speech, speaks to the reality that is repentant sinners, verses, unrepentant sinners. I have said before, the only difference between myself, and Hitler, is that I am a repentant sinner, and he was not. Sure, I’m not a homicidal madman bent on world conquest, but I am a sinner, and at the foot of the cross, our sins have the same equal heavenly punishment; eternal damnation in Hell. I saw someone post recently, why does God allow animals to suffer since they have no sin. That’s a fantastic question, but simple to answer; animals were the care of Adam and Eve, along with the plants in the Garden of Eden. Sin, is not just what we do, but a corrupting force that affected not just Adam and Eve, but the plants and animals also. There was no death in the garden, but an animal had to die to for God to make garments of skin. I think many people believe they had tree branches for clothing, but scripture is clear. An animal suffered the first physical death because of what Adam and Eve had done. Time also entered the Earth. The decay of time begun, and since then, we are all slaves to it, and we are all victims to the sad decay that time brings. Sin, brings this upon us, and sadly animals while innocent, have a new nature in the world of sin. As a friend and pastor once said, in the Garden you could have had a pet raptor, now that raptor would eat you. But in today’s current world, you see a lion is no longer tame, but a predator. Sin has wide reaching effects upon this fallen world.
I have been looking at my life and have thought recently, I would wake up from this nightmare. Finding out just a couple short weeks ago, that my Aorta is dangerously large, and would require immediate surgery, has been a waking nightmare. I have, in that short time, experienced many emotions and have lost an untold number of tears. How could this be happening to me? As a friend told me recently, “I’ve never seen anyone with a worse hand delt to them.” That same friend years ago said, “IF it wasn’t for bad luck bro, you wouldn’t have any luck at all.” I have begun thinking about what he said, and while on the surface it looks true, I think there’s more going on than that. It wasn’t luck that we found the Aorta; it was God. It wasn’t luck that I had the hernia that led to the surgery, that led to the gas in my chest, that led to us finding the Aorta, it was God. Lucky, or God? If I had only bad luck, would I have not just died some random time? There is no denying, I have endured more hardships than most people, but God has seen me through each of them. At no point was I ever alone, and going all the way back to my childhood, God has placed the right people in my life, to help me through hardships. Bad luck, or Godly providence? It wasn’t luck we (My squad) survived the ambush in Iraq, it was God’s providence. What does providence mean? I’m glad you asked, Providence means: the protective care of God or of nature as a spiritual power. (Dictionary.com) It was not luck I survived the GSW in 2016, but God’s providence. In that lowest time of my life, I found myself looking up, and there was the Lord’s hand, to grab me and bring me to life. I had been trying my whole life to keep one foot in the bible, and the other in the world. I was trying to live both lives, and eventually a battle had to happen in my life, and forced me to kill off one side. That bullet, for all intense in purposes, that bullet killed the other side of me. The saving grace from God, and the forgiving nature, was supernaturally experienced, as I lay there dying in the ambulance, I was hearing the voice of God, in a thunderous reply to my sincere apology for my actions and wrong doings, “You’re Forgiven.” I awoke a new man. Today, I am now 48 hours from life changing surgery. Through all these hardships, it is not luck that has allowed me to survive, but God’s grace, and His divine plan. My hardships have not been to punish me, but rather to forge me in the fires of trials, so that I may have a glorious divine testimony. God works out the details, and if we just take a moment to seek His face, we would see Him working in our lives. But, it requires trust, and faith.
The life I have lived, while difficult, has left me with a great understanding of God’s grace, and sovereignty. It is this sovereignty that gives me hope, because I know, that no matter what happens to me in this life, my soul is His. I am merely a clay pot for God’s choosing and purpose. No matter what happens to me in this life, I know that into his hands, my soul is His, and one day this broken body, will be upgraded to one of glory, adorned with a crown. I long for home, but know that as long as I draw breath, God’s plans for me are to continue to share the Love of Christ, the Holy Scripture in which He has left us, to live our lives by. My whole purpose is to be the hands and feet of God. What an honor it is to serve the Lord on high. What an honor it is to be given the opportunity to teach about Jesus, and His life, and for myself to learn and grow closer to God. I am nobody without God, but because of God, I have value. My value comes from God dwelling within me, otherwise I am a dead sinner. God didn’t come to earth because I have value, God came to earth so I would have value. God has shown me the nature of humanity, the depravity that curses our actions, our thoughts, the blackness upon our souls. But with the blood of Jesus, we see that blackness washed away. We see the change in a person as they are born again, when they accept the name of Jesus, repent of their once wicked ways, and takes up their cross daily to follow Jesus. What an honor it is to be chosen by God, to be predestined, to be counted among the few, to worship, honor, and bring Him glory. How can I complain about a heart surgery, when I cannot say with certainty what is good or bad in this life. I do not mean what is good or bad regarding sin nature, but that which happens to us, from breaking ones arm, to getting into a firefight in Iraq, to losing a wife to an affair. There is certainly difficulty in these things, but for us to say if something is good or bad, we cannot. Things direct our path, and we cannot say if one event is bad, because if that “bad” event pushes us towards a new path, one of peace, and prosperity, or even a sinner repenting and coming to Jesus, then, those things are not bad, they are just, things. Sin is bad. How we respond can be good or bad. Do we respond in a way that is of this world? Things like yelling, throwing tantrums, saying or doing hurtful things to people. Being selfish, or prideful. These things are bad because they are not of God. Good, is being patient, listening before speaking, being faithful, edifying and lifting up with our words. Allowing ourselves to do good works in the name of Christ, so He is glorified, not so we may receive credit, but that God gets the glory. These things are good.
I have come to find, that even though I am a faithful follower of Christ, that does not mean my mind always cooperates the way I think it should. I have found myself struggling with emotions leading up to this surgery. Some fear, not of death, but that I will be a burden for others to take care of. Even being a burden for someone else to take care of, allows others to be the hands and feet of Christ. Things like this, allows others to be the hands and feet of Christ, through mercy, and grace, love; by ways of sending cards, food, gifts, messages, etc. What looks bad, may be a way for us to show our faithfulness to a Holy God. Following Jesus is not an easy thing, in fact, it’s darn hard sometimes. Sometimes it takes every ounce of strength I have to say Hallelujah. Sometimes the storm shakes and breaks me down, but even when the storm rips the sails, and I’m at the mercy of the waves, I say Hallelujah. When Satan’s attacks are more than I can take, and I’m down on the ground, bleeding, tired, that’s when even my whisper brings the legion of Angels sent by God to surround me and pick me back up. God is always faithful, and no matter what happens in this life to us, God deserves our praise, our worship, our song of Hallelujah. When it isn’t easy, and life truly is pounding upon your Armor of God, may the Holy Spirit, and the legion of Angels come to minister to you, the reinforcements waiting for the word from God to come to your side, if they aren’t already there. It may be the hardest thing in the world to go through, but what is a few 70-90 years of hardships to an eternity of Heaven? Do we think Christ didn’t go through hardships? Let us seek scripture; John 12:27- “Now My soul has become troubled; and what shall I say, ‘Father, save Me from this hour’? But for this purpose I came to this hour. Father, glorify Your name.” Then a voice came out of heaven: “I have both glorified it, and will glorify it again.” So the crowd of people who stood by and heard it were saying that it had thundered; others were saying, “An angel has spoken to Him.” Jesus answered and said, “This voice has not come for My sake, but for your sakes. Now judgment is upon this world; now the ruler of this world will be cast out. And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to Myself.” But He was saying this to indicate the kind of death by which He was to die. The crowd then answered Him, “We have heard out of the Law that the Christ is to remain forever; and how can You say, ‘The Son of Man must be lifted up’? Who is this Son of Man?” So Jesus said to them, “For a little while longer the Light is among you. Walk while you have the Light, so that darkness will not overtake you; he who walks in the darkness does not know where he goes. While you have the Light, believe in the Light, so that you may become sons of Light.” These things Jesus spoke, and He went away and hid Himself from them.
— John 12:27-36
Jesus became burdened knowing His time was soon to come, the purpose of his human life was nearly at hand. A burden we can know nothing of since we have never tasted Heaven. A burden of leaving perfection for this sinful place. Jesus, a perfect person, lived among hardships, illness, suffering, and He Himself, knowing Heaven, it must have been difficult to live in such conditions. Knowing he would undergo a death so hard, we cannot fathom the pain he endured. For an infinite being to taste death, the first time the forever trinity would see just what death was like, is more than any mortal being can understand. Our time is linier, but Jesus would be both God and man at the same time. Jesus would later bleed through His pours as he would sweat blood from the stress He was preparing to endure. Our savior Jesus Christ, knows our struggles. He has endured them as well, so here we are, preparing for hardships in our own lives, let us focus on Him.
The struggle keeps us focused on God, so we would not become too prideful, or self-focused. Hardships build character, and perseverance. Let us seek God and I can think of no better way to say this than which has already been said.
Hard Fought Hallelujah.
I’ll bring my hard-fought heartfelt
Been-through-hell hallelujah
I’ll bring my storm-tossed, torn-sail
Story to tell hallelujah
God, You’ve been patient
God, You’ve been gracious
Faithful whatever I’m feeling or facing
So I’ll bring my hard-fought, heartfelt
It is well hallelujah
I’ve wrestled with the darkness
But I’m trying to reach for the light
Yeah, the struggle keeps me honest
And it breaks down the walls of my pride
‘Cause faith isn’t proven like gold
‘Til it’s been through the fire
Yeah, yeah
My head, heart and hands are feeling heavy
And that’s when I lift them just a little higher
Let us remember that no matter what we endure, what is this trouble when heaven is forever?
1 Peter 5:10 “10 After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.” We are being refined daily, sanctified to purify us like the gold, placed in the fire, to separate the world, from the Holy. It is well, with my soul, that these hardships, the fire I endure, the storms that rage on around me, should bring me to God, to seek his Glory, to seek His face, to let him continue to forge me like a beautiful sword, needing to be heated, beaten, shaped, forged in the fires of trials, to be prepared for the war waging all around me. I may shed tears, but God holds them in His hands. I may struggle at times, but His strength raises me up. I may fall, but His hand pulls me out of the water. I may be in the middle of the fire, but His presence stops me from being burned. I may be a prisoner to my sinful self, but His angels comfort me, and break the bonds that once kept me captive to this world. So, let us seek God, and know that our tomorrow is not of this world, but a beautiful place where there is no sin, no tears, no suffering. So, in leu of this hardship, it is well, with my soul. My heart beats, and will beat again. I will have a story to tell, to share, and I shall not allow the Devil to lie to me, to sway me, to belittle me, to bully me into feeling sorry for myself. I am a child of God, and I am a warrior for Christ. I will stand tall, I will heal, and I will carry on the fight. I will hold my ground, even if I’m battered, and bruised, even if my body is broken, I will dig in and hold fast this line, because God is in my corner, and if God is for me, who than can be against me? I’ve been through hell, but to Jesus I say Hallelujah. Thank You, Jesus for my hardships, and for being Lord in and over my life. It is well, with my soul.
Let us wake up and see the nature of this life and though there is sin in this world, it is those we seek who seek answers in this life. Those willing to be unplugged from the world, let us share the Gospel so the truth may find those who Jesus has chosen. Let us be warriors for Jesus, to wake up those asleep, for it is only God’s word that can wake the sleepers. God’s word is power, and let us share the Gospel of peace, and know that Jesus overcame death, so we would live in his resurrection. This world is a minefield, but the word of God never returns void, so let us be warriors, soldiers for the Lord. Change comes from the Spirit. We cannot remain the same when the spirit awakens our hearts and it beats again. We cannot live in sin and Jesus at the same time. Wake up, oh sleeper, wake up and see your breath Jesus has given to you. With all malice put away your sinful self. Cut that sin out of your life, and be at peace in the Lord. Wake up and feel the change within your heart. Wake up, and know it is well, with your soul.
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