Tag: learning

The Week My Heart Stopped

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The Week My Heart Stopped

First of, I’m a 40 year old male, with no history of heart problems. My story is one that highlights the power and sovereignty of God. I suppose to understand, one must venture to the beginning, as to fully grasp the situation. The details are an important part of the story. June 19th was the last day of VBS (Vacation Bible School) at church. One of the youth, and a kid I’ve known for many years approached me with a challenge, a foot race. Having a bad knee, and knowing I’m not supposed to run, it’s odd that I accepted his challenge to begin with. A few months prior I had found out I had a hernia on the right side of my groin. One more reason to say no, but I didn’t. Against what would have been better judgement, I said okay. The foot race commenced and I won. A victory over someone, someone so young, was short lived as the next day I was in the hospital. That hernia decided to bulge, leaving me unable to walk. When the doc came in to ‘fix’ it, I was grateful. The conversation ended with me going along with what turned out to be double ingroinal hernia surgery. Not one but two hernias. This would not take place till October however, so I had the rest of the summer to enjoy.

The hernia surgery came on the 28th of October. It was a quick surgery and a success. That is, till a single day later when the gas from the surgery migrated up to my right shoulder, causing significant pain. During the CT scan, something odd was seen, not of the gas but with my heart. My Aorta was not the right size. I was sitting in my room waiting for the doctors and when one came in, it would quickly become a whole ordeal. Several more doctors from different departments would grace my bedside. A plan was being formulated for priority open heart surgery. How did I go from hernia surgery to open heart surgery in a day? It turned out, that my aorta root was a bit larger than it should. Surgery threshold is 5.5 cm, but my root measured around 6.3. As it turned out, I had what is known as a ‘Bicuspid’ valve. When someone has this defect, their muscles, and ligaments can sometimes be super stretchy. Could this be the problem with my neck and my knee? Perhaps. Surgery would be set for Nov 22nd. Just less than a month later after hernia surgery. The amount of scans and tests I had to do in the meantime kept me very busy. Unfortunately I was not able to prepare everything for the heart surgery as I had attempted to do for the hernia surgery. Being the man of the house meant I did the heavy lifting. Planning for two months was not only expensive, but took a great deal of thought. Going into hernia surgery I felt prepared to be limited for a while. Going into heart surgery left me feeling wholly unprepared.

The 22nd came, and my nervousness showed in all my blood pressure tests. The morning was early, and I had once again found myself in surgery safety prep on the fourth floor of the VA hospital in Durham NC. Some familiar faces graced my bedside as I was shaved from my shoulders to my feet. I had already had to shave my beared the night before which was difficult, and I shaved my head as well, completely changing the way I looked just 24 hours prior. Long thin hair, and a long beard, now gone. Surgery prep seemed to go pretty quick this time. Before I knew it, most of my team was at my bedside for one final walkthrough of my case. The heart model I took for them to sign was signed, my last will and testament was submitted, and i was as ready as I could be.

Four hours was all the time the doc needed to replace my aorta root, the valve, and stem. A rock star of the aorta valve replacement world. A surgery that would normally take 8 hours he did in 4. That night they would start to wake me up, and I remember still having the ventilator tube down my throat. At first I was okay, but the longer they took to remove it, while I was awake, the more I began to panic. My mind said get it out, even though it was doing the breathing for me, I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. The tube was removed, and my memory foggy. I remember family being at my bedside, and a friend. The meds I was on, quickly put me back to sleep, till I was awoken the next morning to walk. Having multiple chest tubes, and an external temporary pacemaker, It took everything I had to get out of bed. I gripped my heart pillow with all the minuscule strength I had. Finally they got me up, I walked, and then I was back to the chair. In reality, I don’t remember much except being silly with my friend who was there, and my supportive bride. The medication they had me on was pretty strong and kept me in a fairly high state. By Tuesday, it seemed there might be something wrong. My heart wasn’t responding to being woken up. Test after test showed my heart was not responding and not functioning on it’s own without the pacemaker. Wednesday came, and the test was a 12 lead EKG, while they turned off the pacemaker. Essentially, they needed to see what was wrong, and what my heart was doing.

Wednesday, five days after heart surgery. The room was cleared so no one would see what happened, at my request. The leads were attached, and the nurse held my hand. The EKG started. Then, the countdown began, 3…2…1… and the pacemaker was turned off. My eyes couldn’t stay open, as I lost consciousness. My heart stopped. The test only kept the pacer off for 3 seconds, but for those 3 seconds, my heart stopped, and I was aware of it. I could feel the lightheadedness, the lack of oxygen flowing through my body. I could feel my body giving up the fight to stay awake. Within moments, I regained semi consciousness, and a few moments later it was better, but tears flowed down my face. How could life had come to this? By Friday I was scheduled to have a pacemaker installed. I am only 40 years old, and I have an artificial heart valve, and a device keeping my heart pumping. How could life have come to this? The answer is simple really, and can be found in scripture.

As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him.

— John 9:1-3

This wasn’t something God was doing to me, but something God saved me from. After a talk with one of my surgeons, I would find that the valve could have failed at any time. The valve description used was ‘gnarly’. So, in reality, both the valve, and the root were ticking time bombs. The root could have dissected, split open at any time. My plans were to be in the Philippines for Christmas this year. Instead I found myself having this surgery. God, has been in the details all year. From the original finding of the hernia, to the foot race, forcing my hand for surgery, to the gas going into the chest, which was fairly uncommon, to the incidental finding of my aorta on a scan not looking specifically at my heart. These things are too many coincidences to be considered coincidences. If the universe were truly chaos and random, then the odds of this many events culminating in life saving surgery, would be unlikely. But, that’s not how an Almighty God works. God saved my life, again. While my recovery has been difficult, and having the pacemaker adds extra challenges, the truth is, I was given the gift of life for Christmas.

This revelation of God’s sovereignty and grace, does not take away the hardships of heart surgery. It doesn’t take away the emotions left behind in it’s wake. When your body feels foreign, and broken, it’s easy to lose sight of the big picture. Yes, I am bored at home, and walking is a challenge because there is no place good to walk inside. Being too cold outside, has made recovery a challenge. Having to put my car in the shop the day after being released from the hospital, and having a $3000 dollar car repair, right before Christmas, has left me feeling a bit down. The Devil has thrown much at me since my time home from the hospital. It isn’t just the body that needs to heal after this kind of surgery, but the mind as well. I have found myself struggling needing help with everything I do. I have felt like a burden, a waist of time, weak. I have felt sorry for myself a time or too also. The struggle to do what is necessary for the recovery of mind and body is not one easily found where I live. I live too far from the local mall to walk. We have no recreation centers with indoor tracks. We have no large stores other than a small Walmart and a Lowe’s which neither sound appealing to walk. I have some ideas I may implement soon, money though is the question. I know the Lord provides all we need, I question if something is a need or a want.

I am slowly recovering physically, but I do believe the recovery is still a long ways away. God being in the details gives me hope that there is a reason for His saving my life yet again. The time bomb in my chest was diffused, and I now have time to do whatever the Lord wishes. Both the valve and the root could have given way at any moment, but God stopped me from going across the world, to have this surgery, and I know there has to be a reason. I don’t know why God gave me this pace maker, but this too is part of the Lords plan. I have said before, ‘all we can do with the time given to us is choose how we reply to each moment of our lives.’ We don’t have a say in what happens to us much of the time. We can’t change what people say or do in our lives, except try to live as Godly as possible. Living for Christ, and making decisions based on what we think would be pleasing to Him is truly all we can do.

It astounds me to think just a few weeks ago my entire chest was cracked open, exposed to the world. My heart was in the hands of a stranger. The gift of life this Christmas came at the hands of God. God didn’t have to give us warning something was wrong. God could have just taken me home. For whatever reason, God saw fit to save my earthly life, and here I am fighting the good fight for the Lord of Lords still. God works in mysterious ways for sure, and while I do not know why it is God has seen fit to save my life, yet again, I will continue to serve the best I can. Sometimes it’s hard to raise a hallelujah. Sometimes it’s all we can do do get out those words to praise a Holy God. Sometimes the world has done a number on us, and we’re down on our knees for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes it’s hard to hear the voice of God through the noise of the world. Sometimes it’s a storm tossed ship, wrecked and ravaged by the nature of this world. It’s in these moments, that we must raise the hallelujah. It’s these times we must praise God even more, and turn to Him for guidance and peace. Sometimes it’s a hard fought hallelujah, but in the battle we know it doesn’t belong to us. We know that Jesus already won the battle. The mighty victory cry he cried on the cross, ‘tetelestai’, or it is finished. This single word is more than just it is finished, but rather, the contract is complete, the battle is completely won, the bill is completely paid for. This was used in business, the debt is fully paid, judgment in court, sentence fully served, and the battle is fully won. How great is it to know that Jesus won our battles. The battle today is not of my own, or your own. We bare the cross yes, but Jesus already won the battle. The story we are in is already complete and will one day end. We see the battle, but Jesus sees our victory. When we see the deep valley, Jesus sees the triumph at the end of the road. We must take our troubles, and sorrows to the one who can do something about it, our Lord, our Savior, Jesus the Christ. We fight not against flesh and blood but in the spiritual realm of our souls. The Devil may break our bodies, he may attack our stuff, but what remains behind is our souls. Prayer is often underutilized. We often forget we have the ability to talk directly to the sovereign of the universe. We will suffer in this world, this was promised. Being a Christian, being a member of ‘the way’ is not one for the faint of heart. Jesus told us in scripture, it would take everything we have. Matthew 16:24 Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.” To pick up your cross meant to die to yourself. To do so publicly as the world would see you carry your cross. It meant to be ostracized by society. It meant to kill away your sins inside yourself daily. To give up your own pride, and your own selfish ambitions, to give your life to the Lord, and to do so publicly, unafraid. We are told the path to the Father is a narrow one, and many would rather chose or walk the wide path of destruction.

Life is going to be full of hardships, and despite those hardships, Jesus won our battle. Jesus fought the fight, and won. He defeated sin, and we have eternal hope. People want to talk about love is love, but true love is telling someone the truth. Jesus said he didn’t come to unite, but to divide us. The truth is, 2000 years ago, the Devil lost his fight when Christ became victorious over death. We have not seen the last of the war, but we know that Christ wins the war. People often think of Jesus as sweet baby Jesus, or hippy Jesus. The truth is, when Christ comes back, it will not be for earthly peace. When Jesus returns, it’ll be to bring righteous war upon the world that has rejected Him, in His perfect judgment for the sins of the world. We do not know the time of His return, but we are called to be ready for it. Jesus will return, sword in hand, and with the legions of Angels He commands, will fight to destroy the remaining evil in the world. The bowl judgments will pour out upon humanity, the trumpets will sound, and eventually God will reverse creation, wiping out all what we know, and He will rebuild. Jesus, the Lion of Judah, is not a hippy love is love Jesus. Jesus said, if you love me you will follow my commandments, so we are to love God’s commandments, and not just the ones we like. Is this life hard? It sure is, but we have a God who understands. We have a God that put on flesh to understand our sufferings. Count it all joy my brethren when you endure trials. Swords must be tempered in fire. Gold purified in the fiery furnace. Steel for everything we use is forged. Why would we be any different? Jesus told us the truth, that this life is hard. He loved us enough to show us the truth in His sacrifice. It would be easy if Jesus said, ‘you’re life would be a piece of cake’. That however wouldn’t be the truth. Some so called pastors say this, but it’s a lie from the Devil. We are soldiers, so let us soldier up, and get back into the fight. When the Devil starts shooting those arrows at you, cover behind the shield God gave you. Then when the time is right, spring forward, sword raised high, and push forward. We are soldiers on the battlefield, and it’s full of death, destruction, hardships, but we have the might of God, and the Angels on our side. Keep fighting, because inside you is a roaring lion. The spirit of God, the spirit of courage, bravery, and a spirit of hope, we are soldiers in this life. Fight on, and never quit. The truth of God is all around us, we just have to look around. We see His truth in the complexity of the plants, animals, our own bodies, the universe. We will emerge victorious, because Jesus is victorious.

God saved my life, and I know that I’ve been saved by the blood. I’ve been given life, and I will not let the Devil win. I will not let the demons whispering in my ear to quit, win. I will not stop preaching and teaching His mighty word. I will crawl if I have to, but I’ll keep going. My life is in God’s hands, and I was a soldier in this earthly life, I am a soldier for God, and my family I will keep my Armor tight, and show them, not my strength, but the strength God has given to me. I am saved, born again, washed by the water. Hallelujah to my Lord, this is a long hard fought Hallelujah. Let God have the Glory in my life. Why am I going through these hardships? So God would be glorified through it. Let us turn to God and show him the praise and worship, only He deserves. One day I will be recalled from this duty station. One day, the Lord will say my watch is over. One day Jesus will tell me, well done soldier, now rest. One day I will take up residence where I truly belong. One day, I will see what I’ve been fighting for this whole time. I long for that day, but for now, I will serve God faithfully here. I will fight for my family. I will be the spiritual head of my home. I will fight back against the Devil, I will resist with all my might, and protect my family. My service isn’t over yet, and God saving my life, not once, not twice, but three times or more, tells me He still has plans for me. Into the battle, He’s prepared my fingers for war. Let us pick up the shield, the sword, and let us go do some work. Fight the good fight soldiers of Christ, your not done yet.

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The Arrow Preacher Podcast: The Truth Will Make You Free

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Jesus talks to the Pharisees and tells them the truth makes them free, but they have hardened hearts and do not see the Christ.

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John 8: 31-36
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At Years End 2022

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The world isn’t a place for everyone. For some, the world is only paradise they will ever know. The price of darkness may never feel the need to attack you. See, this world can be like a prison. For some, they will stay inside their walls freely, never seeking to escape, never reaching for the open door. For others, the prison like those in the matrix, they can feel something is wrong with the world. “It is all around you, even in this very room. You can see it when you look out the window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes.” (The Matrix) so many people are content eating their steak, and going about their day to day lives without care for the truth. People die young, cancer attacks a child, the wife has an affair and destroys everything. There is betrayal, and lies, and hardships beyond imagining. When was the last time you saw public outcry against Muslims, against their belief that homosexuality is a sin? Or that in Muslim countries there are strict laws against it. When was the last time you heard the outcry against Buddhism? Why is the world not attack other faith? I believe the answer is clear, why would Satan put time attacking something that isn’t true? Satan doesn’t see the others as a threat so there is no need to put his forces against falsehoods.

Sin does not need to be taught. Sin comes naturally in this world. We often cry out to God upset at the Father because of calamity that befalls us. How much of our struggle is of our own making? How much is caused by our own actions, our own lust of the selfishness and narcissistic behavior that lives in sin? When we are not walking with God we get mad at God for allowing disaster. Judgment comes in many ways to those who mock Gods commandments. When we are silent in our hearts about the sin that infiltrates and destroys our communities, judgment is imminent. We have spit in the face of God. We have turned our backs on His teachings. We have neglected his commands and commissions. Now as the world turns to darkness we cry out asking for salvation.

The path to destruction is wide and the way to salvation is narrow. The struggle in which we find ourselves can be seen as tests, or as a forge. In the military we train as we fight. We prepare for battle by simulating battle. We seek knowledge, and stamina by continually training. In a world clouded in darkness, those who wish to fight back, to stand firm against the enemy, must be forged into something new. You must be born again, for only those born again will enter the Kingdom of God. (John 3) If we are born again don’t we need to be trained for our new selves? Don’t we need to be taught and prepare for the obstacles we face in our new lives?

2022 was a rough year. From injuries, to illness, to setbacks in personal areas in my life, to kidney stones, to infections. After all the injuries and sickness, disappointment set in. On top of everything else, the longest run of depression i’ve ever had, had turned an already difficult year, into a battle of battles. What else would make for a truly awful year? Chronic pain. Chronic pain often brings forth and exasperates depression, fatigue, and of course pain. The hardships faced this year, for some would turn them a way from God. For me, it draws me near to Him. Does this mean, life isn’t full of frustration, or hardships of emotions. Of course this journey is hard, and full of emotions, but Jesus knows our difficulties. It’s precisely why the hope He offers is so much more important. What is it we fear? “Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. (Matthew 10:28)” In Jesus we not only find our hope, but our peace. “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. (John 14:27)”

Have I not seen Jesus in my life? Have I not felt his presence rest upon me as the enemy bared down to murder me? Have I not heard the voice of the Father, breathe new life into my lungs as life drifted away from my body? Faith, is an essential and interesting thing. What was it Jesus said to Thomas? “Jesus said to him, “Because you have seen Me, have you believed? Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed. (John 20:29)” I have seen, and I have believed. This does not make the journey less difficult, or even emotionally easier, but it does mean I have hope. It means there is rest at the end of this long race I run. Jesus overcame Sin, broke the chains that held us. We will have hardships, and trials, and even at times, we will be broken hearted. Faith in Jesus, and the path set before us is one many will endeavor to walk, but will fall away, run away, or stay away from. Jesus through the word, the Logos, has given us everything we need to traverse the difficult road ahead. We have his Word, the Helper (Holy Spirit) to be our guide. We do not travel alone but the brotherhood (sisterhood) of those who also follow the way. We have the testimony of those who walked before us and left us the eyewitness statements. We have the martyrs who gave up everything for the truth. We have our fellow believers who walk with us today. We have all the tools to manage through this struggle, and the Lord our God, prepares the called, he does not call the equipped. Blessed are the meek, the poor, the gentle, those who mourn, those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, merciful, pure of heart, the peacemakers, the persecuted, and those insulted and persecuted because thy follow Christ. We must have faith in our path and lean not of our own understanding. We must trust the Father in the hardships we face. We must learn from our mistakes and be honest of our sinful actions and deeds. We must hold ourselves accountable and responsible to Gods law, not the law of Man which spits in the face of the Father. As darkness spreads and becomes all the more intense, allow Christ to shine through you ever more brightly. Snuff out the darkness, not of our own doing but that of the Lords work through us. We never know whom watches us, or the purpose of a thing, but we know, through Lord all things are possible. All hope resides in Him. For it is in Him miracles still happen. It is in Him, the lost see the light. It is in Him our actions may bring glory and honor to His name.

Let us lift up the Lord Jesus name and praise him in the storm. Let us worship Him in the rain, the sunshine, the coldest of nights, and the hottest of days. Be of good cheer and rejoice and sing Hallelujah, for even now Emanuel, Emanuel on the highest. Worry not about today, nor tomorrow. Trust in the Lord your God and fight the good fight, till He calls you home.

Medic

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Medic:

 The medic is a soul of compassion and much like a physician also has an oath.

THE MEDIC CREED

My task is to  provide to the utmost limits of my capability the best possible care to those in need of my aid and assistance. To this end I will aid all those who are needful, paying no heed to my own desires and wants; treating friend, foe and stranger alike, placing their needs above my own. To no man will I cause or permit harm to befall, nor will I refuse aid to any who seek it. I will willingly share my knowledge and skills with all those who seek it. I seek neither reward nor honor for my efforts for the satisfaction of accomplishment is sufficient. These obligations I willingly and freely take upon myself in the tradition of those that have come before me.…These things we do so that others may live.

When tragedy strikes 911 is called. EMS comes with their gurneys, their first aid bag and begins to provide aid. As a Christian we are to lift up and to never tear down. We are told in 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 “4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[b] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” I’m not saying loving like this is always easy, but easy or hard, it’s a command by Jesus Christ to love everyone. No, you do not see the command in this scripture, however, you do see it in Mark 12:30-31 “30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” I put this in red because in most bibles this passage is in red. It’s red because it’s from Christ himself. If we are to love God, and to love our neighbor’s, then we must do what love is, and if love is what’s found in Corinthians, then we need to be doing that for everyone we meet. That’s not a suggestion it’s a command. Part of loving is being there when the need arises. Everyone will stumble and fall in their daily walk, but when they do, it’s important to be there to help them back up. Carrying one another’s burdens is important as a Christian. While Jesus was walking to the Skull, he fell three times. He had help carrying his cross and thus showing us we all need help to bare the cross we carry. No one person can go through life and never accept help. As a body of Christ when someone suffers alone the body suffers. We are God’s hand and feet, and we must treat a suffering Christians as if they were apart of us.

In Spiritual Warfare the Devil is trying to destroy us. Are we willing to allow someone to succumb to the Devil? If we are to busy to talk to, or lift someone up, we need to remove something from our lives because we are NOT living in God’s will. God says bare the burdens, be the hands and feet of Christ. Galatians 5:14“14 For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” In loving your neighbor as yourself, and knowing we all carry a cross to follow Christ, we see a second part to scripture. Galatians 6:2“2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” We are all medics for the Lord. We all have the tools, and the ability to make a difference in someone’s spiritual life. We don’t have to have money to help, or food, or connections, sometimes all the help needed is to be a warm hug, a loving word, and prayers. Scripture teaches us how, we only have to read it to learn.

Be looking for ways to lift up others. Be looking for ways to help. Be willing to take the time to talk, to listen, to laugh, and to cry. Being with whosoever needs and fulfilling the law of Scripture. We know trials and trouble will come, but we also have been taught how to navigate the storms.Matthew 4:4 4 But he answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” If you take care of yourself by studying scripture, keeping a healthy prayer life, and allow the words to fill your heart and mind, you are less likely to require a medic. You may only need a friend.

DO NOT SELF MEDICATE

If you do not have Jesus in your heart, or if you start to walk away, you may find yourself on a path of destructive pain. Often times when people turn to substances to make themselves feel better they are attempting to fill a void in their heart or life and that hole can usually be found as a Jesus shaped hole. The second possibility is if you are running from painful feelings that you don’t want to deal with. Either path to addiction is one that will only end in pain. People hide their pains in addictions of substances, alcohol, drugs, work, sex, gaming, and even now roll playing to escape reality. If you find yourself suffering from addictions I urge you to you seek help in dealing with this problem. Addictions don’t just affect you, addictions affect everyone around you. Self medication is never okay, but turning to Christ, and those who follow Christ, that will save your life.

There will always be help within the Church. To each person a divine gift is bestowed and together we can handle anything the Devil may send our way, because we have Christ with us always. Keep love in your heart as Christ so loved us, he Died for us. Love others, and be there for others in their time of need. Do not be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help for we all fall, we all sin, and we all have struggles. Do not be dismayed for there is hope as the Son rose, we shall always live with the light. Remember, we are God’s hands and feet, but we do nothing of ourselves. The one with the power the true one and only Medic is Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is the one who will save you, He is the one who can heal your heart, He is the one who will fill the void of emptiness you feel. You must ask Jesus into your heart, and call upon him to save you. He is the Medic, the cure for sin, the savior of all.

The 11Th Commandment

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The 11Th Commandment: 

Now, I know what you’re saying, but Preacher there’s only 10 commandments, and you would be absolutely correct. There are only 10, but as one of my mentors would say, “Always remember the 11thcommandment. Thou shalt not misquote the pastor.” (Rev. Glen Newsome, Jr M.A.C.S) It’s unbelievable how often a pastor will get up in the pulpit and give an amazing sermon, but there’s always one that hears a different message then the one preached. “One of the most disappointing things for a pastor is realizing people heard a message he did not even preach, which often happens when people hear what they want to hear and wrap the preacher’s words around those things they desire to justify rather than what the spirit has spoken through His messenger” (Dr. M David Chambers, senior Pastor Antioch Baptist Church) I have found in my studies of sermon’s, in my studies teaching, one thing you have to do is repeat your intent in the lesson multiple times. You have to make your message concise and clear, and leave no room for interpretation of your message. The Gospel has sadly been misused and misquoted for centuries. The idea that people have used the Word of the Lord to further their own agenda and play on the fears, and the hope of others for their eternal salvation is sickening. Not too long ago I was listening to a sermon and during the sermon I was writing notes as I usually do. What I heard in the verse we were studying is not at all what that verse meant. As I wrote and wrote I had a full page before I realized how I was wrong, and re-reading the scripture I then sank as I found all that work was for nothing. I didn’t hear what the preacher had said and thankfully I figured out that I was wrong before I went forward and used parts of that message in a blog of my own. Don’t twist other people’s words to bend to your own will. Don’t use scripture to further your own agenda because I promise you, God does not like when people pervert the Word. If you want an example from scripture to what perverting the word looks like, take a look at the ENTIRE New Testament and see how corrupt the Sanhedrin had become. These were top priests, men of God of the Jewish faith who had made the laws of Judaism work for them by adding a new law every so often. Jesus rebuked the Pharisees time and again throughout his ministry. And before I move on, I wanted to point out one small thing without going to into detail, all those prosperity sermons that say, if you give x amount of dollars God will bless you, but if you don’t you aren’t going to get as much of a blessing. This is complete and total garbage from the pit of Hell. There is no Jesus plus one. You need Jesus to be saved, that’s it. There is no extra. You follow Jesus, you walk as close to Jesus as you can in this life, and you study the word day and night and allow it to be engrained in your heart, so when the day comes the Devil tempts you, you can withstand the fiery darts from Hell. The world will tempt you, and lie to you, and say things to you to sway your attention. We as Christians must live in the world, and yet apart at the same time. It’s our job to be evangelists and spread the Gospel to all whom we can, and in doing so, we must learn to spread the TRUTH! Not a sugar coated truth, or a watered down truth, but the HOLY TRUTH, truth that would live up to being scrutinized by scripture. That being said your only truth is that which comes straight from scripture, and only from scripture.

What’s one way you can evangelize, spread the gospel, and know that what you’re saying is true? First things first, study the bible. Pick a book at the beginning, and read. When you’re done, reread that book a second time, and a third time. Find words you don’t know what they mean. Read study bibles so you can get an idea of what the author of the book was trying to reveal. Study the original meaning of the words in Hebrew or Greek. The English language does the Bible poor justice as we often find our words aren’t as eloquent as the original text. We must learn to see what the words mean and thus understand the true nature of the text. I will give one example, simply because this text has been taken out of context, misunderstood, and used against me as a former soldier in the US Army and as it would be, a combat veteran. I was told I was going to Hell because as a soldier I’ve killed people. First, just because I was a combat soldier in Iraq doesn’t mean I killed anyone. (Not saying I did, or didn’t) Second, to assume someone killed another is bad enough, but to actually tell someone that they are going to Hell because of it. So that being said lets take a look at scripture.

Exodus 20 King James Version (KJV)

20 And God spake all these words, saying,

2 I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.

3 Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

6 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.

7 Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

8 Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.

9 Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work:

10 But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates:

11 For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.

12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.

13 Thou shalt not kill.

14 Thou shalt not commit adultery.

15 Thou shalt not steal.

16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.

18 And all the people saw the thunderings, and the lightnings, and the noise of the trumpet, and the mountain smoking: and when the people saw it, they removed, and stood afar off.

19 And they said unto Moses, Speak thou with us, and we will hear: but let not God speak with us, lest we die.

20 And Moses said unto the people, Fear not: for God is come to prove you, and that his fear may be before your faces, that ye sin not.

21 And the people stood afar off, and Moses drew near unto the thick darkness where God was.

22 And the Lord said unto Moses, Thus thou shalt say unto the children of Israel, Ye have seen that I have talked with you from heaven.

23 Ye shall not make with me gods of silver, neither shall ye make unto you gods of gold.

24 An altar of earth thou shalt make unto me, and shalt sacrifice thereon thy burnt offerings, and thy peace offerings, thy sheep, and thine oxen: in all places where I record my name I will come unto thee, and I will bless thee.

25 And if thou wilt make me an altar of stone, thou shalt not build it of hewn stone: for if thou lift up thy tool upon it, thou hast polluted it.

26 Neither shalt thou go up by steps unto mine altar, that thy nakedness be not discovered thereon.

Highlighted are the 10 commandments. Notice there is the 10, but there’s also more in the instructions. Also, and while we will only look at one of the 10, I encourage you to use this to start your exploration into legitimate bible study of your own. The word in Hebrew for kill #13 is râtsachwhich means “slayer, murderer, kill, murder, slain, manslayer, killing, slayer, slayeth, death”(Blue Letter Bible) When you dig a little deeper the usage was common to be used with premeditation, cold-blooded murder, assassinations. So when put into context, we know that God has divine rule over all, and we see that in some cases war was necessary because of the sinful ways of man, but the word Kill in English is one word. Hebrew has 12 words for Kill in the OT, and in the Greek of the NT, 7 words that mean kill. With so many different variations, the English language simply doesn’t do the scripture true justice. It’s important that in your study you use websites like Blueletterbible.com and study bibles to broaden your understanding of scripture. It’s up to you to listen without a predetermined heart to what the message is saying. Don’t just hear the words spoken, but listen to the message. Hear the word of God and trust in it, but always verify. Don’t just take a pastors word for it, don’t just take a Sunday school teacher’s word for it, trust by verify.

John 4:7-9“7 There cometh a woman of Samaria to draw water: Jesus saith unto her, Give me to drink. 8 (For his disciples were gone away unto the city to buy meat.) 9 Then saith the woman of Samaria unto him, How is it that thou, being a Jew, askest drink of me, which am a woman of Samaria? for the Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans.” What exactly does this verse say? We look at the script earlier and it says either noon, or 6 in the evening. Which during that time period in 6 was noon. But you wouldn’t know how time was recorded unless you look at the history. Second is a woman from Samaria. Women at the time were not allowed to be out of their homes alone. Third is Jewish descendants’ were not supposed to have any dealings with the impure blood of any Samaritan. Talking with a Samaritan was simply not acceptable. As we look at the scripture surrounding this passage, we must both put this passage into context with surrounding verses, but also it’s important to understand the history behind it. You cannot expect to understand scripture if you pull verses just because they sound good. You must understand the author, the environment, the scene as it were, to fully understand what scripture is saying.

Do not misquote the pastors, and do not take away a different message then the one preached. Do not use scripture for your own personal gain by picking passages, pulling them out of context just to fit your own narrative. Be a responsible Christian and study like we are commanded to do so. We are responsible for our own actions and if you find yourself in a situation and your response was ‘The pastor said it was okay.’ Is not going to get you very far. Be mature in your faith. Going to church every day does not make you mature in your faith. Listening to sermons on your phone once in a while doesn’t make you mature in your faith. We must study and commend the word into our hearts. Do not be the one to violate the 11thcommandment. I daresay when you misquote the pastor, you are essentially baring false witness, or testimony of what the pastor had said. The Hebrew for witness in this verse used is ed, and means “עֵד ʻêd, ayd; contracted from H5749; concretely, a witness; abstractly, testimony; specifically, a recorder, i.e. prince:—witness.” (Blue Letter Bible) You are responsible for what you say, and thus if you cannot listen and take away the message being preached, then you are not listening with an open mind and heart. Don’t make your pastor’s job harder then it already is. Don’t force them to put out a fire you started just because you weren’t listening. Have some respect for not only them, but yourself also. Speak on things in which you have authority, and leave the rest alone.

 

I a Disciple of Christ

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I a Disciple of Christ:

I a preacher and disciple of Christ call to you believer and non-believers.  You all have suffered long but I give you a message of hope. You grow weary from trial after trial. I give you hope in the storm. The storms will always remain but now I give you the light that shines through every darkness, brings hope to the hopeless, restores faith to the faithless, and heals the sick. John 14:6“6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” Even when 100 things are going wrong the hope will always remain. Do not forget what gives us the blessings of eternal life. The blood shed of Christ to fulfill the trinity that’s always been, down to the ground covering all of the earth in righteous grace forgiving us of our eternal sin.

You are not saved in chance, for you are saved with glorious grace. It brings our Lord joy for you to receive mercy. Jesus came not to be served but to serve, so shall we serve others before ourselves. Who are you? Do you know who you are, and can you tell others what defines you? Do others see you by the content of your heart, or do they see the hypocrisy that runs rampant in the streets? In God you will be strengthened and made sharp in the fires experienced here in this life. Walk by faith and don’t loose hope in the marathon. Run with endurance with trust in the Father as we look to the cross to be our finish line. Remember to fight the fight but do not loose sight of what it is your fighting for. It will never be the troubles you face that are the true fight, but the temptations and attacks of the Devil trying to break you. If God blesses your heart and sealed His graces, let no Devil, no demon, no man, crack the bonds made. No troubles shall break you or sink your ship. Always remember your why and the Lord will smooth your travels. The trials will be many, but that shall never remove your salvation or grace.

The Lord is a merciful God, and a loving God, but never tempt God. Never worship idols in place of God, and never lift anything higher lest you sin unknowingly. The love of money, and of possessions shall never bring you peace. The days of works shall never bring you salvation. The laws never will you keep though you shall surly try. Bring yourself humbly on bended knee to the Lord, and sing praises. I come to you a follower of the Lord, saved in my sins, forgiven of my trespasses, led by the spirit to bring you the good news shared to me. The long awaited messiah from the days of old came and spilt blood for all. We no longer live in darkness, and we shall not suffer long. The one way to peace is through our Lord Jesus Christ. Do not grow weary along the way for we remember the verses of Kings. Psalms 23“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2  He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.[a] 3 He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness[b] for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,[c] I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surely[d] goodness and mercy[e] shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell[f] in the house of the Lord forever.[g]”

My biggest hope is in your travels you don’t loose sight of why we travel. I do not want you to loose sight of what it is we’re fighting for, and why. It’s so easy to get caught up in the day to day, the routine, but after a while we forget to live by the message. While I was watching the Book of Eli recently it kept with the message that Paul was telling the people of Ephesus, do not loose sight of the mission.

The Book Of ELI

Solara: I didn’t think you’d ever give up the book, I thought it was too important to you

Eli: It was, I was carrying and reading it everyday, got so caught up in protecting it, I forgot to live by what I’d learnt from it

Solara: And what’s that?

Eli: To do more for others than you do for yourself

In the Book of Revelation we see Ephesus applauded for their great works, but in the end, they lost sight of their first love. I believe this is referring to, you fought, but over time you forgot why you were fighting. We must be cautious in our walk that it’s not just sitting in the pew on Sunday, saying the prayers, singing the songs, but that it’s about allowing the word to invoke the Holy Spirit within us, renewing our flame for Christ and encouraging us to carry on fighting for our Lord. The spiritual battles wage on every day and night, and we are caught in the middle. We are soldiers on the front line and we must understand what’s at stake. Christ is destined to win the war, but nothing is written about you and I. We fight on the front line and we choose what side to fight for. There will be casualties along the way. We must pray with our might, give thanks to God for each and every one of our blessings, and always ask for guidance. When we become weary of the race, we see reminder in Ephesians 6:18-20“18 praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, 19 and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains, that I may declare it boldly, as I ought to speak.” We as Christians must remember to wear our chains as a badge of honor. As Paul’s wordplay is not lost here, the Greek word used means a prisoner’s shackles, however, during that time ambassadors wore a gold adornment around the neck and wrists as a symbol of riches, power, and dignity of the government for which they represented. Paul I believe is speaking of course that he is in prison and he wears his shackles with pride as he’s in prison because of his teaching of Christ. He’s proud and through the entire walk with the Lord and everything he endured in the name of Christ, he found peace in the end that he writes to Timothy. 2 Timothy 4:7“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” Will you keep the faith in all you do? Will you remember what it is you’re fighting for? If you’re not fighting for the Lord, you may need to adjust your focus.

 

 

Show Them Your Feet

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Show Them Your Feet:

When I lived/worked in the Middle East I learned a great deal about their customs. One thing I learned was you never show them the bottom of your feet. This is found as an evolution of a custom from biblical days. Matthew 10:14-15“14 And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town. 15 Truly, I say to you, it will be more bearable on the day of judgment for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah than for that town.”  When you have gone as far as you can go with someone, and you’ve reached an impasse, all you can do is leave it in God’s hands and pray. Knowing when to walk away is perhaps one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. This is particularly difficult when it comes to someone you love. Watching a loved one travel on a road of self-destruction is extraordinarily difficult to watch. Knowing you have the means to help them, but that help isn’t wanted. Knowing you love them, but at the moment that love is not reciprocated, is heartbreaking. There comes a point where we are no longer helping, but rather we are enabling the continuing of that bad behavior. There is a point when you need to wash your hands and walk away. Sometimes walking away is the only way someone will be able to move forward on their own. Sadly it usually results in their continued spiral downward until they face plant at the bottom, but, that being said, we pray, we love, and we keep an open door and line of communication. We may have to kick the dust from our sandals every now and then, but we never stop loving, or praying for that person.

We are told two things specifically. Do not be unequally yoked in relationships, and to always love your neighbor. 2 Corinthians 6:14“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” This is such a beautiful passage because the symbolism expressed. You would never see Batman sitting down for a lunch with the Joker. You wouldn’t see a decorated detective sitting down for lunch with Hannibal Lector. Darkness as Sin cannot exist in the light. Jesus Christ. The blood of the lamb sacrificed so on the day of judgment those who knew Jesus and yet were sinners were granted a pardon for those sins. Heaven cannot have one black drop of Sin enter the gates. No minute shadow of sin can exist in the light of paradise. The light will always snuff out the darkness. I am reminded of my night vision training. I was amazed how little light it took to shine brightly in the green and black of the goggles. Light that the human eye could not see was bright as day for the NODS. We must be careful with whom we choose to do business with, and those whom we get advice from. Psalm 1:1“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;” We see those in power getting really bad advice over and over again in scripture. I’ve talked with people who got advice from Non Christians and I couldn’t believe how bad the advice was. If we are not wise enough to discern good from bad advice, we aren’t walking closely enough with the Lord.

The other major point is loving others. Even when we walk away there is always an opportunity to share the Love of Christ. Even if we don’t discuss Christ, our actions should display the love of Christ. Our actions will always make an impact on those in our lives. We will usually only get once chance to make a good impression, and we have the choice how we are to be remembered in that one instance. One thing I’ve been learning is how quickly people are to point out your faults, or your failures, but are rarely around when it’s sunshine and roses. Recently I went to a friend because I was in need of the comfort of a friend. I had usually had a hard time getting a hold of this friend, but I tried the approach of getting straight to the point. I attempted to ask for to talk about my current situation. The response was less then favorable. I was told I am always so negative and no one wants to hear my (expletive). I was surprised by this response and it left me hurt. I realized the effort in that particular friendship had been one way, and while I was always there for them, the blue moon need from me, was to much for them to be able to manage.

While I apologized for the intrusion, I offered prayers and to be there for them when they needed it. Since then, I have kept my distance. In the last several weeks I have found myself washing my hands more and more of relationships that were one sided. I fully understand the need to talk about things that may not be as positive. The truth is negative things happen and we need to be loving enough to hear our brothers and sisters out when they need to express their feelings. We need to have enough love to show empathy for the troubles others go through. We should not be washing our hands of someone just because they are going through tough times. We must understand the situations, the causes, the events leading up to the events that cause issues. We must be a mini detective to determine a scriptural course of action.

I do want to point out one major things, and that’s a difference between dusting off your feet as a gesture you’re done with someone, and dusting off your feet and moving forward after you get knocked down. The difference is dusting off your sandals specifically in regards to the indignation, verses being knocked down. “To shake off the dust from the feet, therefore, was a significant act, denoting that they regarded them as impure, profane, and paganish, and that they declined any further connection with them. It is recorded that this was actually done by some of the apostles.” (Bible Hub) We must learn to dust ourselves off when we fall, and get back up, but also learn to dust off the dust of those who are non-believers who’ve shut the door on listening to you.  When you talk to those who are of different faiths, or even different levels of faith, remember that there’s a right and wrong way to deliver your approach. We do not want to come off as some religious nut and push them away, but we also don’t want to water down scripture trying to sway favor. Always speak the truth, and leave it at that. If they leave then pray you would be a link in the long chain to lead them to Christ. All we can do is try and be a light to others. We will be met with hate, and distain, and fear, but no matter where we are, the Lord will work it all out. Do what little part you can, and keep moving forward. As Paul talked about in Matthew, sometimes you just have to brush the dust off and keep marching on.

Gracious Heavenly Father,

Please show us the path you’ve laid out for us. Please help us with the right words to say at the right moments to comfort, and to lift up those we encounter day to day. Please show us the light and continue to strengthen our own hearts and protect us from the constant attacks of the Devil who aims to lead us astray. Please be with us as we continue to do your works, and help us better our communities one day at a time. Teach us the wisdom to walk away when we must, and fight the good fight always. We ask this in Jesus name.

Amen.

 

 

References:

Matthew 10:14 Commentaries: “Whoever does not receive you, nor heed your words, as you go out of that house or that city, shake the dust off your feet. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://biblehub.com/commentaries/matthew/10-14.htm

 

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Introspective

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Introspective:

Some people say the eyes are the mirrors to the soul. Regardless if this is true or not, we need to sometimes be willing to take a long, deep hard look into ourselves. Introspection:“the examination or observation of one’s own mental and emotional processes.”Look within, and ask who are you? Is God in your heart? Are we a hero out in the world making a difference? One of my heroes Green Arrow, had a conversation with a new hero the flash. “You can inspire like I never could.” What does it take to be a hero? We have high expectations in our country to fit the term hero, but really, a hero is anyone willing to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. Sacrifice for others, and to serve. Jesus Christ is the world’s greatest superhero. Jesus Christ showed us what it means to be a true hero. He showed us what it was to truly love, to truly give, to truly sacrifice. We must be better then we are, we must stand apart from the world by living differently. We must live our life as a hero so we inspire at least someone to live their life differently. Proverbs 24:10-12“10 If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small. 11 Rescue those who are being taken away to death; hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter. 12 If you say, “Behold, we did not know this,” does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who keeps watch over your soul know it, and will he not repay man according to his work?” There is no greater calling then to be a fisher of men. There is no greater gift then the gift of showing someone salvation of their eternal soul. We who live with Christ in our hearts must stand tall, stand firm, and walk through the storms tall and strong. We must walk in our witness every day. We can be the difference in someone’s life if we are allowing the Holy Spirit to work in us. We must be able to look inside ourselves however and evaluate if we are truly doing God’s work or our own. We must do this regularly, not just once a year at a special church service.

You don’t have to do big grandiose things to be famous in your father’s eyes. We shall not underestimate ourselves when God is concerned.Judges 6:12-15“12 When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.” 13 “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our ancestors told us about when they said, ‘Did not the Lord bring us up out of Egypt?’ But now the Lord has abandoned us and given us into the hand of Midian.” 14 The Lord turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?” 15 “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.” A mighty warrior Gideon was called. A hero before God. God doesn’t need to explain Himself why he chooses someone over another. David a small squire chosen to be King and led to slay a giant with nothing but a stone. He became a hero for Israel, and would be for generations to come.

In this fallen world there are so many who are dying spiritually. When we look inside, we must ask ourselves if we are saving in faith? Are we making a difference in those around us? Are we rising up to be soldiers for the Lord in this war? We cannot stand by and do nothing as we watch hatred, and sin destroy lives. Jude 23“23 save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment[a] stained by the flesh.” We don’t have to be the wisest, the strongest, or the biggest to make a change in someone’s life. We only need to look in the mirror and see that we have the power of God with us always, and when we become servants of God we can see the old self left behind, and it will be good. We may be small, but we may have a big impact on this world. We don’t need to run into burning buildings, or be a doctor, or fight crime to be a hero. Proverbs 3:27“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due,[a] when it is in your power to do it.” Anyone can lift up and inspire others. Anyone who can make a difference is told to be that difference. We are told to be good for those in need, and as long as the power is within us, we must. The thing is, we always have that power. There is never a time when we can’t make a difference. We are all links in a chain. Even if you just pray and offer words of encouragement, that’s making a difference. There is no reason you can’t make a positive impact in someone’s life.

All we really have to do is be an example of Christ. Be loving, and all that love is. Be kind, and gracious, and meek, and joyful. Be a lighthouse in the middle of the storm. Know scripture and use it everyday in your walk. Lift up others and never tear them down. Push others with a gentle hand, and respect everyone regardless of differences. Always do the right thing even when no one is watching meaning have integrity. God is always watching you. Remember that no one deserves grace, but we all have it, and we should follow in God’s likeness and offer grace to others freely. Being a hero is doing the right thing and never expecting a reward. Being a hero is living with integrity, and honor. There is always hope, and where there is hope there is life. The battle is for souls, and it’s the most important battle we’ll ever fight. We are called to be God’s warriors, but we must first look inside and accept the calling. If you’re not happy in your life maybe it’s time to find out why. Maybe it’s time to take a long hard look inside and figure out why we’re missing something. If were missing something, I’d be willing to bet its Christ in your life. Rise up and live so close to Christ that others will see it in you, and as Gideon before you, be a hero, even if it’s an unsuspecting hero. With God nothing is to big, nothing is to small, and nothing is impossible.

 

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You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars?

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You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars?

Have you ever looked in the mirror and noticed the scars you have? I have scars I see every day when I look in the mirror. My body is covered with scars from years of unfortunate accidents, injuries, and just a result of a rough life. I don’t just see the physical scars in the mirror but the emotional ones also. I was told recently that the traumas and trials I’ve faced are enough for maybe 3 peoples lifetimes. I had never really thought about it like that before. All I think about is how horrible it’s been sometimes, if I think about them at all. One of the things I was very good at was not dealing with my emotional pain. I tried to bury it and run away forgetting where I put it. Sadly, when it comes to grief and pain, you can’t outrun it. What you bury will come back to haunt you, and it’s usually pretty angry when it does. I recently wrote a blog post talking about running from grief. https://thearrowpreacher.wordpress.com/2018/05/29/man-on-the-run/ I won’t be rehashing an old topic. Instead in this post, I’ll be discussing how to use those scars to your advantage.

In 34 ish years I’ve seen a lot of things, and I’ve been to a lot of places. I’ve seen the world from the 3rdworldview, and I’ve seen the world from a luxury hotel downtown Chicago. No matter where I’ve gone one thing has been certain, the Holy Spirit has been right there with me the whole time. From the age of a little kid I have felt the Holy Spirit with me. I have moved through life feeling the Holy Spirit, yet running from an obvious calling within my life. Most of my life I have felt as if something were missing. I have felt a sense of lacking and never quite feeling useful. I have lacked purpose in my life. I thought my purpose was to be a good friend, a good husband, but although in my biased opinion, I am a good friend, and I am a good husband, or more accurately was a good husband, I now realize something new. For each scar I have a story. Each story is a chance to reach out to someone in need. Purpose will always be, where God is sending you. Today, I sit here thinking about each one of my scars mental and physical, and I have slowly started to realize what the purpose after all these years may have been.

When I think back to a man with scars I am reminded of the Apostle Paul. He suffered a great deal of physical torment throughout his ministry. Through the book of Acts you see Paul’s struggles. You see him get beaten, shipwrecked, stoned, hunted, imprisoned, and yet as he talks about how far he’s come. Galatians 6:17“17 From now on let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus.” I for one cannot imagine the pain he must have been in every day. In a time where most serious injuries would likely cripple or kill someone, he managed to keep going despite his injuries. It wasn’t as if they could go to the nearest CVS or Walmart and get Tylenol. Not being able to set broken bones, or take anti inflammatory, or even penicillin must have made healing very difficult. Here’s a man that literally took beatings and  torture for God, never once throwing up his hands and saying, ‘Nope, I made it all up, Jesus was a nobody.’ Even till Paul’s dying day, scars and all, he maintained his position that Jesus Christ was the Son of God, the truth the way the light. His scars were his testimony and what a testimony he had! I have spent a lifetime wondering why I’ve been through so much. I’ve often sat in the dark, yelling to God to answer my questions. After 34 years I may have finally gotten the answer I have been waiting for.

When you pick up your cross you will find persecution. In persecutions you will find both physical and emotional scars are part of the journey. Scars are sometimes badges of honor when we are a blessing to Jesus. Our scars are a reminder of where we’ve been, and a lesion learned no matter what caused the scar. Sometimes a scar is gained by playing with friends. Sometimes a scar is from someone doing unspeakable things to you. No matter where your scars are from, either good or bad, we can always take away some kind of lesson. I’ve seen many people after a trauma turn cold and bitter towards the people around them. I can’t say I’m innocent either. I have become angry when I’ve been hurt. I’ve seen people destroy lives, destroy families after suffering from loss. We will always have scars, but as a sword in the fire, we will either become brittle and break, or become strong and sharp. True courage is to face the pain, and face the troubled waters with honor and dignity and above all else, faith that God will use that pain for good, not for more suffering.

I have scars from surgeries, everything from knee, to hernia, to tonsillectomy, to cervical spine fusion, and more. I have emotional scars from death, from relationships, from war, and much more. When I look in the mirror I see a man who’s endured much, and yet I still stand. I face the world with hope, and with agape (love) in my heart for those around me. Even as I was going through a horrible divorce with my ex wife, and while there were things said and done that were beyond awful, I stood by her side and endured the pain and hardships. Now after all that time, we are talking, we spend time together, and we have a pretty amazing friendship. All the pain that was endured has allowed me to be there for her, now when she needs it. Living with Christ in your heart, loving deeply and not just what this world considers love anymore, is not an easy venture but God is watching and he will bless you for it. Pain is a hard thing to be stuck with, especially if you don’t know why, and you don’t know what to do with it. But I say to you, there is hope, and there is purpose. You will have to turn to God with love and prayer, and surrender in your heart. You will have to allow God to hold you up, and you will have to surrender over a piece of your self. Jesus Christ can heal your heart if you let Him. Jesus is always with you, and you just need to ask, and accept that without Christ we are nothing, but with Christ we are royalty to paradise. We are all soldiers, and with our scars of battle, we choose to surrender to the Devil, or fight for the throne in Heaven.

I was thinking back to an old post I wrote, and an old Sermon by Dr. David Chambers of my church. Why was our savior brought into this world as a baby? It was so that he would grow, and live among us, so we could relate to Him on a deep intimate level. His life had pain, and losses, and poverty, just like many of us. He survived the baby massacre, and then lost his Dad Joseph early in his life. He would grow to preach and teach God’s word, and when the time came he was tortured horribly, to just an inch of his life, and then he carried a heavy tree for a few miles, just to be placed on that tree and hung for all the world to see. Christ suffered horribly for each and every one of us, so we may one day live to live in eternal salvation. “Living is not for the weak.” (Arrow)It takes great courage to live with pain. It takes courage to find a path where you can use your pain for good rather then evil. How many stories have you seen or heard that started off with the villain saying ‘I was done wrong, so I’m going to make them pay.’ Or something along those lines anyway. Emotional pain is a strong motivator and it can cause good people to do awful things. Every one of us is capable of great things, or completely evil things. When we use our pain to heal from the truth written on those pages in scripture, then we are on the path to enlightenment.

Under the right situations your pain and suffering may be used to inspire and help others. I for one am starting to realize that all my life has been training. All the hardships I’ve faced and it being mostly traumatic incidences has given me the unique perspective to understand the nature of that kind of pain. I understand the pain of loosing a loved one to divorce. I’ve lost people in my life before, but my marriage this time was one of the hardest. The unfortunate event that occurred the day I found out my wife was leaving would forever be a day of great tragedy for me. That fateful day I succumbed to the pain and suffering that I spent so much effort running from. I’m ashamed of myself, and I still have a hard time believing it was me that day, but I have the scar to show for it. Today when I think back at my scars, I think now, how can I help others? How can I help prevent what happened to me, happen to anyone else? As I have been looking into my future since my security job imploded I have been led to believe ministry is my true calling. For years I looked at the ministry to be for someone much smarter, much braver, and much more people friendly. God uses the most unlikely of people sometimes to do His work. I have heard from many in ministry about running from their calling and how miserable their life was the whole time. Ministry is perhaps one of the hardest things to do, with some of the most stress in any job. Ministry comes with some of the most emotional drain out there, but people are genuinely happier, despite the level of stress that comes with.

I realized my traumas have been preparing me to help others get through theirs. Through most of my incidences I didn’t have a therapist, or a chaplain there to help me through. I was left to navigate the minefield, and as it became more and more dense with each passing trauma, I was bound to step on a landmine. When I finally stepped on one, and I ended up in the hospital, I was faced with a fundamental change in my life. It was the beginning of the end of a path I had been on for 7 years of a career, and 32 years of my life. Through it wasn’t easy for me to face facts, eventually, that closure would come from God as my job in security would end abruptly and with finality. I know many of you have endured great pain and suffering, and you can’t see any reason why you were made to suffer. First off let me say that there are a lot of reasons we are hurt. Sin is the most likely for most. Health is next in line. Then lastly personal choice to make bad decisions causes many of our struggles. No matter what flavor of pain you have, know that it is up to you to find a scriptural purpose for it. I have decided that my vast knowledge of all kinds of different pain and trauma makes Christian Crisis Counseling a perfect job for me. I can use my pain and suffering to inspire and guide others through their crucibles. I have chosen to embrace my pain instead of running from it. I have chosen to use my pain instead of burying it. If I can use my experience to help God’s people, it would be a sin not to.

I have run from God’s calling into ministry my whole life, and there’s always been something missing. I’ve always struggled with depression, and even though I’m not perfect and sometimes I still have my bad days, I am driven to continue my growth in the Lord. I pray to God to continue to show me my path, and to give me grace and mercy along the way. I fully expect the Devil to try and break me down during my journey, and any journey towards chaplaincy or pastoral ministry is going to fall under attack by the Devil. If we are going to follow in Christ we must live differently, so we can show others a different way to live. We must be productive in our faith, and not squander our experiences. I think of the things a father teaches a son. A father teaches their child how to treat others, how to be a responsible person, and how to love. They teach them how to do things around the house, how to hunt, and fish, and throw a baseball. But more importantly a Christian father will teach their kids, rather train their kids to be in Christ. I didn’t have a father growing up and I missed out on a lot of important lesions and experiences, but now I look to my Heavenly father for guidance and love, and approval. I have hidden behind my scars for so long, now I have to learn to embrace them and use them to help others. It won’t be an easy road, and I suspect there will be days when I will feel the weight of my decisions, but as Paul said to Timothy, I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. I too shall join that fight in ministry as I start my path to chaplaincy, and God willing maybe more.

There are days when my scars hurt, but I know God won’t ever leave me, He won’t ever forsake me, and I know now, my scars were not in vein. We must learn to see beyond our own pain, and trust that in all things we go through God is working it out so we may find peace, not sorrow. We live in a fallen world so pain and trials will come, but we don’t have to let it destroy us. I challenge each and every one of you to go out there and find your purpose in Gods plan. It’s likely your scars are for a purpose and that you can use them for good. Your scars can give you strength and understanding in areas perhaps others cannot. I challenge you to stop running from God and embrace your gifts and your life experiences. Pass on what you have learned, and remember failure is the greatest teacher you will ever have. Use your failures to help others see. Never give up on yourself because Christ wont’ ever give up on you.

 

 

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Wild Plants

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Wild Plants

What do you get when you plant a berry bush? In life we must understand the cause and effect we will be faced with. Galatians 6:7-10“7Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. 8For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. 9Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. 10So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.” We cannot expect to get apples if we plant strawberries. Conversely if we don’t put our hands in the dirt and work the soil we can’t expect the crop to take route and grow.

In all things we plant seeds for the Lord. Allow works for the Lord to be done through you. Do not grow weary for we may not tend the full season of harvest alone. God will honor your works in blessings seen and unseen. Nothing we do for the Lord goes in vein. Every single effort we make in the name of God is a blessing to come. Know though that works are not the path to salvation. Works with a wicked heart will bear rotten fruit.

Do not boast of your good works for you are nothing without God. Farmer’s crops show the hard work from the farmer and the farm hands, but without God’s blessing of sun, rain, temperature, the crop is nothing. Mother nature can destroy a crop fast. Blight can come and wipe everything out in an instant and because these things happen, we must remember that in all things the Lord gives, and takes away.

This works based glory can be seen in every facet of life. Sports stars boast how good they are, but without God’s gifts of talent they are nothing. Without God’s graces the bright coaches, the right support, the grace of good teams is all God’s work. We must work hard yes but in an instant God can change your path. It’s grace of Christ and we must remain humble before the Lord. One day you can be boasting about being the greatest, and the next day you blow your knee. This isn’t just for sports players, this is for anyone, and everyone needs to be careful of what planting rotten fruit will get you. Be careful that when you start to believe that your excellent is better then everyone else, you yourself have become the idol, the thing you worship most of all. Pride and vanity are sins, and when we believe we have become bigger then God, the storm is coming.

I’ve watched helpless as close friends of mine have gone down horrible paths. At the end of those paths is often a brick wall going 70 miles per hour. (figuratively speaking) One cannot be surprised when actions eventually lead you to the consequence which when rotten fruit is what you’ve got, the outcome will be unfavorable. It breaks my heart when I see people in bad situations that with different choices could have been avoided. I have watched as a few bad choices have destroyed a lifetime of work and effort. Sadly I think so much in today’s world we are disillusioned that we can sneak by without ever having to face our actions. A while back I worked security at a large mall. One day I got a call from one of the large department stores that had picked up 3 girls all under the ages of 18 for larceny. When I arrived where the girls were being kept, I entered to each one of them crying. See what probably started off as a good idea in their minds, quickly turned as the ramifications of their actions slowly started to sink in. The girls had concealed enough to be considered felony. Not even 18 years old and they were looking at felony charges. From my perspective I want to look deeper at the situation. Yes they attempted to steal a lot of items and got caught, but lets go back before that. While some crimes may be crimes of impulse or crimes of convenience, what’s more likely is this was not their first time doing something criminal. If we water our plants with vinegar we aren’t going to get a good crop. It may grow but it will most certainly be rotten.

We cannot expect to live with a rotten heart and not have push back sooner or later. Nothing in this life goes without consequence both good and bad. If we do sinful things, we will one day face the consequences. If we do Godly loving things, one day we will face those consequences also. Cause an effect without a judgment of good and bad, is just the effect that comes from a particular act. Make sure we aren’t the Grinch who stole Christmas. Don’t have a shrunken, moldy heart. A greasy black peal and arsenic sauce isn’t the best way to make friends. So, don’t try to pull an apple from a strawberry bush. Don’t be rotten fruit that is off-putting to everyone around it. Be pleasant fruit that everyone wants to have around to enjoy. Be a joy in others lives, fill your heart with love and warmth and color.

 

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