Tag: jesus

Sinful Nature 

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Sinful Nature 

“A scorpion was walking along the bank of a river, wondering how to get to the other side. Suddenly he saw a fox. He asked the fox to take him on his back across the river. The fox said no. If I do that you’ll sting me, and I’ll drown. The scorpion assured him. If I did that, we’d both drown. So the fox thought about it and finally agreed. So the scorpion climbed up on his back, and the fox began to swim. But halfway across the river, the scorpion stung him. As the poison filled his veins, the fox turned to the scorpion and said why did you do that? Now you’ll drown too. I couldn’t help it, said the scorpion. It’s my nature.”  (Chakotay, ST. Voyager Scorpion Ep 1)

Our nature, is that of sin. We can try to run from it, but it’s hold is tight, and this side of glory it will never let go. We are born into it, and no matter our best efforts, we are to live with it. It’s a daily fight to push back against that sin nature. In Christian faith we call this total depravity. Without God’s intervening nature, we would hold no chance to fight against the sin nature. I have often looked at sin as a moth to a flame. We circle the sin, attracted to it, but eventually get burned by it. Sin, the curse of our forebears having eaten of the fruit from the tree of knowledge. The first disobedient act, but ultimately the second sin, the first being pride, wanting to be like God. We walk this earth, toiling the earth, the serpent nipping at our heals as we do. 

I have come to realize many will not come to see the light of the Lord. Like a cockroach with the light turned on, they flee from the light, having only longed to stay in the shadows. We look at this world, as the shadow spreads over the land, and we often wonder, what happened? Much like Théoden at the battle of Helms Deep, “How did it come to this?” “What can men do against such reckless hate?” Satan’s shadow has grown deep over the land, and the greatest lie he ever had, was to make people believe neither he, nor God, exist. 

As I’ve grown older, I pity those who have not seen the light. I have learned I cannot argue anyone into God, and by proxy, I cannot argue anyone out of sin. I will use one example. Abortion is a hot button topic in this world today. At least, it is here in the U.S. If someone believes a woman has the right to murder an unborn fetus, an unborn baby, they will not likely see the sin in that act. They are not likely to see the evil that indwells in such a decision. No, they would not likely murder another human, but to them, they can dehumanize a baby, and take its life. All in the name of choice, or worse reproductive health. Only a very few will be swayed by the arguments of a Christian, and only those whom the Holy Spirit has chosen. 

Scripture does not tell us to go into the world and argue with them what is, or is not a sin. A non-Christian will not be swayed by such arguments. Love in the face of hardships. Love in the face of persecutions. Love in the face of oppositions. Love as scripture says, covers a multitude of sins. When we truly love and we are focused on that love we can avoid many sins. But we are in fact sinners and despite being born again, a new creation, we are still the moth circling the flame. 

I cannot expect a non-Christian to have the same morals as God, and by proxy, the same morals as myself. I know that I myself am a sinner, and I look forward to the day this body passes into the dirt it came from, and my spirit rejoins my creator. I look forward to the day my mouth, my actions, my very presence, no longer causes pain to those around me. Despite being a born-again Christian, I still sin, I still say things that hurt others. My frustrations, my pain, my anger, still seep out from time to time, and I inevitably bring tears to the ones I love. I do not mean to, but it happens. As Paul in scripture says, I do the things I know I shouldn’t, and I don’t do the things I know I should. How is it a ‘Super Christian” like Paul still sins. It’s easy really, Paul was still a man, a man who indeed had the Holy Spirit in him, but a sinner nevertheless. 

We Christians have become timid in this world, from telling others about the love of Christ. Today we are considered by some to be extreme, to be a danger to democracy, to be homophobic, to be bigots, to be radicals. The world right before our eyes has become hostile to the Christian. A country that once was Christian, is no longer so. It does appear we are moving into an age where to be a Christian will be evermore dangerous for our jobs, for our livelihood. Where Christians can go to jail for preaching the word of God. Where Christians can lose a child to the state, just because they disagree with gender affirming care. Yes indeed, the air is changing, and darkness spreads over the land. 

There is hope though, for scripture tells us to never grow weary of doing good. Scripture tells us that while we will face trials and tribulations to take heart in Jesus, for he has overcome the world. To count it all joy in the midst of struggles. Scripture tells us to love our enemies, and as much as it’s up to us, to live in peace. We share the Gospel by both telling others about a great and powerful, almighty, loving, caring, and righteous God. We also share the Gospel by living it before our unbelieving neighbors. Our job is to make disciples and we do that every day, everywhere we go. We do not pick and choose the mission fields, everywhere we are is our mission field. Our very life is our mission field. We share the Love of Christ to everyone we meet, and as an ambassador for Christ we should look different every day, everywhere, to everyone. 

We must hold our heads high in the midst of the battle, not for our own sakes, but for those watching us. We must hold our tongues when those speak out against us, and speak only what is edifying for the hearer. We must maintain our witness in all situations, so others may see the dim reflection of Christ in us. The moon does not produce light of its own, but reflects the bright light from the sun. If we are to be the moon’s light, we are to light the world in the darkness. Jesus left us instructions when we left. The word of God was put to paper so we would not have to blindly navigate this world alone. Everything we need for this life is found in scripture, and it is our job to share the good news with all we encounter. 

Do not try to win futile arguments about morality to an immoral people. Instead continue to share your faith. Continue to share your testimony about what God has done for you. Continue to share the words of scripture to those around you. In order to have a defense of your faith, you must know your faith, so that means you must be in the word, you must study, you must be in constant communication with the Lord. You must be on your knees praying before a Holy God, and ask for him to intercede in your heart, and show you the path. WE do not walk within our own understanding, but walk in the ways of the Lord. Walk in the way He has prepared for you, and never give up. Never stop doing good, and never stop praying for anyone. Sometimes prayer takes years to be answered, but make no mistake, God hears you. Are we sinners, yes, must we ask for forgiveness when we sin against others, or against God, yes. We must also forgive those who have trespassed against us. All sin is equal at the foot of the cross, and all sin equals a sentence of Hell. But God had a plan, and that plan was Jesus, who came, bore no sin of his own, took upon our sins, so the wrath and righteousness of God would be satisfied. We would be justified in Christ, and through the Holy Spirit sanctified daily. We are enemies of God, made right before God, for God the Father sees only the blood of his son. On our behalf, Jesus is at the thrown as our intercessor, our mediator, our High Priest. Glory to God in the Highest, and Peace to His People. 

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Chronic

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Chronic

Chronic pain is something that afflicts so many people. What is chronic pain? As defined by the Clevland Clinic “Chronic pain is pain that lasts for over three months. The pain can be there all the time, or it may come and go. It can happen anywhere in your body. Chronic pain can interfere with your daily activities, such as working, having a social life and taking care of yourself or others. It can lead to depression, anxiety and trouble sleeping, which can make your pain worse. This response creates a cycle that’s difficult to break.” (professional, C. C. medical. (n.d.). Chronic pain: What is it, causes, symptoms & treatment. Cleveland Clinic. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/4798-chronic-pain) Chronic pain is something according to the CDC “During 2021, an estimated 20.9% of U.S. adults (51.6 million persons) experienced chronic pain, and 6.9% (17.1 million persons) experienced high-impact chronic pain (i.e., chronic pain that results in substantial restriction to daily activities)” So what does this mean? What if you’re a veteran? According to the VA “1 in 5 Veterans report persistent pain • ~1 in 10 Veterans report severe persistent pain • ~1 in 3 Veterans have been diagnosed with a condition related to chronic pain” I’m a 40-year-old male combat veteran. I spent over a decade working in the security industry which is difficult on the body. I have a neck injury that now leaves me with severe chronic pain, and as it degrades, the pain worsens and makes life far more difficult. What does it say? It can lead to depression, anxiety, and trouble sleeping? On top of the PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) the depression is very real. I’m used to feeling pain before I go to bed, and the pain medication I have is vital to take before I go to bed. The hard part, is when I wake up in the morning with pain, and there’s a need to start my day with medication. Sadly, some days are worse when the pain is more severe from the moment I wake. There are days when the act of getting out of bed is extremely challenging. There are days when all I want to do is cry because the struggle to do anything is so strong. 

As I am nearing 40 years old in just a few days, I find myself struggling with recent diagnosis of my neck, and knowing there is nothing I can do to take the pain away, it’s disheartening. The surgery that was planned was canceled due to a counsel of surgeons deciding the original plan would fail, and a much more severe and extensive surgery would be needed. However, regardless of the necessity, my age prevents the desire to do the surgery now. While the meds do help a little, the medication has a negative side. What happens when you are on a narcotic medication for years? The biggest issue is when the medication creates a tolerance and becomes less effective. The physical pain is bad, but it’s nothing compared to the emotional toll it takes. The inability to do daily activities because of pain makes simple and basic tasks like housework, and yardwork nearly impossible some days. When you don’t want to do activities with your significant other, or friends, it makes you feel bad, and for me, ashamed. At the age of 40 and looking at a major neck fusion surgery, that will remove 100% of my mobility, I have not been sure of my place in this world. 

Because of my chronic issues, I had to retire early, but have not received social security. Not receiving social security has affected my income. As a disabled veteran I do get veterans benefits, but it is certainly not enough to take care of a family financially. As a man, and head of the household, I feel shame for not feeling like I am doing a good job providing for my family. How does a man determine value? 

I’m not trying to drum up sympathy, on the contrary, I want to spread awareness. I by no means have everything figured out on how to manage severe chronic pain. I have attended VA chronic pain management groups and therapies. I have attended recreational therapies, and while most of it has not taken away the pain, but, some of the techniques on how to manage have proven slightly affective. What does help with chronic pain? A strong faith foundation. 

Psalm 13:5-6

“5 But I have trusted in Your mercy;

My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.

6 I will sing to the Lord,

Because He has dealt bountifully with me.”

We may never know why there is so much suffering, except for knowing we live in a broken, fallen, sinful world. Suffering started the day Eve ate of the fruit, and Adam and Eve were exiled out of the garden. God told them they would face hardships, they would have to work hard, childbirth would be painful, and by the sweat of Adam’s brow he would till the earth. When we look at suffering in scripture, the book of Job is the height of this. After Job confronts God, and God replies in the most amazing and eloquent way, Job sees the truth. 

Job 42:1-6

Then Job answered the Lord and said:

2 “I know that You can do everything,

And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You.

3 You asked, ‘Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?’

Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,

Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.

4 Listen, please, and let me speak;

You said, ‘I will question you, and you shall answer Me.’

5 “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear,

But now my eye sees You.

6 Therefore I abhor myself,

And repent in dust and ashes.”

Pain builds endurance. If we are faithful, our suffering should draw us near to God. This life is hard, and in it we will face an abundance of challenges. We will face hardships, and hurt. I do not necessarily believe when James talked of “whenever you face trials of many kinds,” he was referring to chronic pain. While I’m not sure he was referring to this particular trial, I will say, the lesson remains true. “3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4) Facing these hardships is not easy, and I find myself having difficulty in navigating life recently. I struggle with the day-to-day routine, as I am always in pain. I do not know why God has seen fit for me to go through this, but I know he has a reason. I have come to understand, we do not need to know the why, just know and understand God is sovereign, and no matter where we find ourselves, we need to know and believe God has a purpose. Assuming we did not put ourselves in the negative situation. I have often looked back and wondered if there was something I could have done differently to change things today. Should I have fought the VA for treatment and care for my neck from the beginning, instead of rolling over and taking the denial of responsibility. I didn’t fight for myself, and knowing there was a problem with my neck when I got out of the Army, my lack of treatment led to where I am today. It’s hard not to be angry about it, but knowing that anger won’t change anything, I have worked on letting it go. 

This life is short compared to eternity. For some people this life is full of more hardships, and letdowns, and heartache then others. Some people even Christians have an easier go of it than others. While everyone struggles, that struggle needs to build your endurance and faithfulness towards Jesus the Christ. We will never understand God’s plan this side of Glory. We will never see the fullness of the picture in which God sees. We will also never know the things God saved us from in this life. The ten second delay leaving the house saved us from a large car pileup. A delay in surgery kept us from dying on the table from a massive stroke. Paul says in scripture he prayed for God to remove a thorn in his side. We do not know what this was. Was it a physical ailment, this could very well be true from all the beatings, stoning, shipwreck, etc. Paul experienced. Without proper medical care, Paul may have developed significant physical pains. Was this a person or problem nonphysical, this too is a possibility. We don’t know. What we do know is Paul prayed, and God’s answer was no. He did not take it from him. 

2 Corinthians 12:7 “7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure.”

While this could be a physical ailment, it could also be a person. We do not know, but no matter what it is, the takeaway is the same. Paul’s prayer went unanswered, and he was told that God’s grace is sufficient. 

Isaiah 48:10

Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver;

I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.

Do we believe in our heart of hearts, that God’s grace is sufficient, no matter what our affliction is? Do we trust that God’s plan is perfect and he is sovereign? I am in no way saying dealing with these things is easy, obviously it was not easy for Paul since he pleaded with God three times. We are being forged into something more, and that process is violent. In order to be forged into something battle worthy, something strong enough to endure the test of combat, we must undergo the extreme heat, and the pounding of steel on steel, to mold us into a weapon. God’s grace is sufficient, but he never leaves us defenseless. He has given to us His Armor, the Armor of God, made up on his attributes, we clothe ourselves with. We are given the sword, the shield, the breastplate, the helmet, the sandals, and the buckler. We do not battle alone, for God is with us. We face the challenges of this world, and no matter what we face, how we respond to it matters. How we respond to stimuli matters. We are to respond in all ways as God responds. We are to respond in a way that when we are judged by God, we are told ‘well done my good and faithful servant.’ The last thing any believer wants is to let down God the Almighty creator of Heaven and Earth, and everything in it. 

No one wants to be in pain every day. No one wants to have cancer, or experience loss. No one wants to feel like an outsider and feel like they are not welcomed. It’s hard when you feel these things. Growing up I was often an outsider wherever I found myself. My personality was always a bit different. My opinions of life were different, set apart. Today is no different. In recent months I have felt like an outsider, even unwelcomed in places I never thought I would feel I didn’t belong. Few people in my life know what it’s like to have this level of pain on a daily basis. Few people understand how bad it feels not to be well enough to work to bring home enough money to take care of your family. I say this in all sincerity, ‘show me all your scars, and I’ll show you the cross.’ Show you the Cross: Matty Mullins. Years ago, I found myself in the worst storm of my life, and I felt like I was on the worst sea, inflicted by a hurricane, and all my sails were broken. It was when I thought all hope was lost, Jesus showed up. Jesus was there with me, guiding me through the storm. Jesus showed me the light, and while it didn’t happen overnight, I found my peace in Jesus. I was in a war, and Jesus reminded me, he already won the battle. Jesus reminded me I was his, and nothing Satan could do would pluck me from his hands. Today, I feel like my wheels are spinning and I’m stuck in quicksand. I feel powerless to change anything in my life, and the hard truth is, maybe I’m not supposed too. Jesus is in control, and the hardest thing we can do when nothing is going right, let go, and let God. 

Hardships Endure 

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Hardships Endure 

It’s no secret that my life has been one of hardships, heartache, and difficulties. Not saying I haven’t had good times, even great times, but as a friend once told me, ‘if it weren’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.’ From an early age I have experienced hardships most people at my age couldn’t imagine, and wouldn’t have known what those hardships were called. As I was told, before I was three years old I knew the word Anesthesiologist. By the time I was three years old I had undergone 4 surgeries. By the time I was 16, I had 7 surgeries, and by the time I was 18 I had 9 surgeries. Needless to say, I was familiar with doctors and hospitals. 

By the time I was 19 I had moved several times. One of those times was a move by myself from Michigan across the country to Massachusetts. Each of the times, minus one, I moved by myself away from family. With every move I was left with heartache, and struggle. For most of my life I didn’t feel I had a home, and even now, I don’t have a place to call my own. The feeling of failure has been and is quite real for me. In recent months I have been given a grave diagnosis, and while I have been attempting to manage the emotional fallout, I find myself fatigued. How can I take care of myself, if I am broken and in constant pain. Chronic pain takes a toll on the human mind, and can often cause frustration, sadness, depression, and anger. On a deeper level, the combined aspects of pain, physical issues, living situation, it often leaves me feeling inadequate, worthless. I don’t care much for the idea of self-esteem, simply because we should know and understand our place in this world as broken, sinful, enemies of God. However, on the flip side of that coin, we are also loved and grafted into the Kingdom of God, through the grace and mercy of Jesus. Needless to say finding a balance is important. A balance I have not been doing so well at, as of late. 

When I go through hardships I try to think of a few characters from scripture. The first and most notable is Job. Job’s hardships are quite obvious and extensive. His losses and trials stand testament to struggles for all people. I then consider the trials Paul faced. As a loyal servant of Jesus, Paul faced beatings, stoning, jail, poverty, and ultimately murdered by beheading. Recently however, the person I have been considering most is Elijah. In his pain, he cried out to the Lord to take his life. In his sorrow he did not want to be left alive, as he also felt his surviving was that of failure. 

Soldiers who lose others, lose comrades in battle often feel what’s known as survivors’ guilt. It is said that those who survive often wish their places be switched with those who died. Elijah it seems may have been dealing with some of this guilt and challenges. I have felt this way in the past. When I lost friends in combat, I was there, and witnessed what happened. I attempted to save my friend, and sadly failed to do so. I had intuition of an impending attack, and sadly that did nothing to prevent it from happening. In recent times, I have wondered what my purpose is, and as I have recently been given a difficult prognosis regarding my physical health, I have been put into a position where I’m not sure how to manage the emotional fallout. This recent revelation of difficult times ahead has left me with little recourse, and no control over what happens next. 

In hard times I have grown from a scared 11-year-old, an angry 30-year-old, to a seasoned, faithful servant of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. In the past I would compartmentalize a trauma, and move on. This would leave me more broken than where I started and never truly dealt or handled the trauma. Today, I face these problems head on. I look to James who says, count it all joy when you fall into various trials. How can I look at where I am and be in Joy? I have often asked myself, if James were to have been diagnosed with cancer would he still have found joy in such diagnosis? The answer, is yes. James knew and understood who the Lord Jesus was, and in that understanding he knew that whatever we go through in this life, it is temporary. It isn’t why we are going through these things, but rather how we respond to them. With the world watching us in every situation we are in, how are we showing our faith to the people around us? I’m not saying cancer is easy, nor am I saying major life changing back surgeries are easy either, but what I am saying is that, people are looking to you because you may be a mentor to them. You may be someone’s inspiration, or even someone’s curiosity. Here’s an example: 

You go to work every day, and people at work know you’re a Christian. You have a smile on your face, and you talk about Jesus, but life is generally smooth for you. A bombshell hits, and you lose a child in a car accident. This tragedy leaves you devastated, and you become bitter with God, or worse, you walk away all together. Those whom you once shared your faith with, now see you walking away. How strong was your faith, that you would walk away, and what message does that send to those who may have been on the fence to follow Jesus or not? Someone is always watching you, whether it be a friend, family, coworker, or one of the kids from Church. Someone is always watching, and how we deal with trials and tribulations, is more important than the worship we give during times of still waters. It is easy to praise God when it’s smooth sailing, but when the going gets tough, that’s when a persons’ true nature is exposed. I’m not saying we don’t struggle during hardships, but ultimately, how strong is your faith? Are you like Peter on the water with Christ? Faithful for a few moments, until the waves crash around you, and you sink? What did Jesus say? “Oh ye of little faith.” Do we have little faith when times get tough? 

We must work on our faith and focus on our attitude and behaviors, and our emotions. I myself struggle with emotional positivity when things get hard. I struggle to stay away from the pity party I often throw for myself, albeit internally. I hide my feelings from many people, and perhaps share too little to others and sometimes too much to some. As I woke up this morning sore from head to toe after putting up the new tent, I find myself struggling to walk around the house. The pain I feel in my back is more than just sore, different from the sore in my legs and arms. While it’s a challenge to get around the house today, the Lord blessed me with the opportunity to work hard, and do something for my family. The replacement for the tent I have lived in for nearly three years arrived and was in need of being put up. A fresh, brand-new tent with no patches, or holes, no leaks, and no extra rope required. I could focus on the fact I am sore and hurting today, or I could focus on the gift from God, for a place to live. No one said following Jesus was easy, and as we see in scripture, hardships come to all who follow God. All of the prophets in scripture had challenges to overcome, David and Solomon had their own challenges, Daniel and Elijah, had their challenges. Peter, Paul, Matthew, and the others had their challenges, and even death. Do we face hardships like Steven does in the book of Acts? Steven in the face of death by stoning said this, Acts 7:60  “Then he knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not charge them with this sin.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep. (Died)” Steven in the last moments of his life, didn’t curse his killers, but asked forgiveness from God to them. It isn’t easy, but we are called to have faith, not just in good times, but in the inevitable hard times. Some people think when you turn to Jesus and you follow him, those hard times will go away, and everything will be great, if you just have enough faith, and tithe. The truth is, this is a false gospel, this is a lie from Satan, that when the hard time does come you walk away from God because it wasn’t as you envisioned. Faith is not easy, and following Christ is hard. There’s a reason it says in scripture to pick up your cross and follow me (Jesus). There’s a reason Jesus tells you there will be trouble in the world, but have faith because He overcame the world. All these things are promised to the believer, and most importantly we know that the path to destruction is wide, while the path to the kingdom of God is narrow, few will enter into it. The path of a Christian is full of hardships and tears, but how great is the Kingdom of eternity, compared to the little while of hardships in this life? 

Today is one more day to do better than the last. Today is a day to rejoice because it is a day the Lord made. We are beautifully and wonderfully made for a purpose and we must turn to God, not to ask why, but in thanks for what we have been given. We have been given life, and an opportunity to Grow closer to Him, to turn to the Father in our time of need, and praise Him in the storm. We know Jesus has the power to calm the storm, but we can’t always expect He will. What we can expect is that Jesus is there with us. Jesus will lead us to the mountain top, or beside peaceful streams, and still waters. Jesus will hold our tears, and comfort us when we are in pain. He will rejoice with us when we rejoice. We do not travel this world alone, and since life is but a vapor compared to eternity with the Father, we should be thankful for the good times, and prepare for battle during the hard times. Face the trials with bravery and courage. Get up each day we are allowed to get up and be thankful for it. No matter where we are, thank God for the opportunity to live our lives worshiping Him and allowing others around us to see God in us. 

God knows what we are going through. God sees our heartache and our hurt. I implore you to bring it all to the table. I beg you, if you are sorrowful, and sad, and angry, bring your weight before the alter, bring it all before a loving and understanding God and put your baggage down. You are accepted before the alter as you are and when you leave everything there, when you lay it all down, and when you surrender to the Lord you leave a different person. The battle is not yours to win, but has already been won by Jesus, our Savior. The battle belongs to Jesus, and while we struggle with life, a place is promised where that hurt, and sorrow doesn’t exist. The burden we carry is not for us, for we are called to trust in the Lord. Psalm 55:22 “Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.” Trust in the Lord and surrender all. Do not carry your burdens alone, for you have been given a choice to trust in God, or try to do it on your own. When you cast your burdens upon the Lord, allow the Holy Spirit to come into your heart, and heal you, change you from the person dead in their sins, but reborn as a believer of Christ. Come as you are, leave changed. 

Years End 2023

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Years End 2023

This has been a year of ups and downs. This year I have had some wonderful memories, but also deep hurt. I am happy to say that in April I was married to my best friend. I had the most memorable wedding I could have ever dreamt of. It was full of all things nerd, from Star Trek, to Star Wars, Power Rangers, Lord of The Rings, light saber fights, Titanic, a little Renaissance and elves. It was pretty amazing if I do say so myself, having planned the whole thing. I know, weird for a guy to plan a wedding, but we all have to step up sometimes. The honeymoon was amazing and different to say the least. 

While it has been amazing to have my wife here from the Philippines, I wish I could say this year has been a honeymoon type year, but it has not. From troubles over the summer, to health issues, to financial struggles, to troubles with the tent (that we live in) and then planning for a surgery, it has been a tough year. 

Just a week ago I received a call from my surgeon and the surgery was canceled, and not for a good reason. The surgery would be far more extensive, but because of that, it has to wait, likely for several or more years. Meaning there is nothing we can do to fix the problem now. I have to face the fact my neck is really messed up, and the only fix is not something we can do now. 

Then, there’s the loss of my beloved Cooper. He was 11 years old, and trained as a service dog. While he dropped out of training, he became an amazing therapy dog. He was beloved by the whole family. He was the gentlest, and soft, squishy dog out there. He was very similar to a Squishmellow. His loss has been devastating to me above everyone else. His loss has hurt me more than the rest of the family. While it’s only been a few weeks since his loss, it’s still very near to my broken heart. 

While there have been hardships, I can say God has shown up in a mighty way. God works things out, and while I don’t understand much of what’s transpired this year, I know that God is in control, God is sovereign and as scripture says, Psalm 24:18 “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.”

It seems fitting that today of all days, I am sick. While this year has had some great moments, sadly it has been far outweighed by the hardships. That being said, that’s not always a bad thing. Trials are tough, but it is in these times we need to turn to God. James 1:2-4 “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” I can say with absolute certainty, I have not missed anything this year. While I have often struggled on my veteran’s income to make ends meet, the Lord has provided. I have struggled with a great many things this year, but I have never gone without shelter, or food, friends, and most importantly I have not gone without my lovely wife, my beautiful Filipina bride. She has been such a blessing in my life, a beautiful gift of God’s perfect will for my life. 

I have a great many prayers for this upcoming 2024, and the biggest of those prayers is that my wife continues to grow with the Holy Spirit. It’s that she knows God more, and has a closer relationship to Him. I pray that my family remains safe, happy and healthy. I pray that my wife and I continue to grow together as we put God first and as we get closer to God, we shall grow closer in our marriage. Scripture is clear that God is always the priority. We know as a God-fearing couple, that God comes first before each other. I know that may sound strange to some, but when you look at a triangle if God is at the top, and her and I are each of the bottom points, as we grow closer to God, the distance between us grows closer also. I cannot speak highly enough of my wife and how wonderful and amazing and caring she is. 

In recent months I have worked with Wounded Warrior Project, and I am thankful that I was selected to be a peer mentor for the male Project Odyssey. I have also begun to spend a great deal of time with a local veterans group that does a ton of projects and outreach for our community. I pray that 2024 allows me more time to reach out to more people, share the gospel, and my prayer is to continue to serve, to take the time God has given me and serve more faithfully. I pray that my wife and I study together more, and I can be faithful in my own personal studies. I pray the Lord uses me to grow His kingdom. I pray that the Lord blesses me with a positive outcome for my fight to get my social security benefits so I may better provide for my family. I pray that as things change, I may be able to find a home that isn’t a canvas one, as I still nearly 3 years now, live in a tent. I also pray the Lord continues grow my blog, and I pray the Lord will bless me with the money to get the podcast equipment I need to work on it. Most of all, I just ask that the Lord be with me. I am thankful for Jesus and the sacrifice He made on Cavalry for me. In a whisper thousands of angels were at his disposal and he could have chosen to wipe out the entirety of the earth. Considering how poorly the creator of the universe was treated when he came to this place, when he stepped out of eternity, and came into time. Jesus humbled himself to be born of a woman. He humbled himself to step out of glory and put on flesh. He was born not in an Inn, or at home, or in a palace, but rather in a place where the animals laid, and he himself was laid in a manger, a feeding trough, and covered in swaddling cloth, just simple pieces of cloth ripped from clothing to cover him. Jesus showed us grace and mercy we did not deserve then, and do not deserve now. Jesus was rejected in his own home town of Nazareth. He was rejected by the same people he came to save, and he hung on that agonizing tree he created, to be the spotless lamb for us. He took our place, a sentence of death and Hell we deserved. He did not give us what we deserve and as such, we need to do what is right, and that is to commit ourselves to the Lord. Not just as fire insurance in a savior, but in Lord over all creation. 

Have we humbled ourselves to Jesus as Lord? Have we taken down our selfish pride and need to be in control, and replaced it with selfless service to the Lord Jesus? As we step from 2023 to 2024, the change in the calendar doesn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things, but let us start the year off right. Let us remember the reason we are here and that is to worship and serve a rightness and Holy God. To follow Jesus if he is a lie, you lose nothing. BUT if he is the TRUTH, which he is, and there is plenty of evidence to prove he is, if you do not follow Jesus, you lose everything. Consider the evidence, consider the nature of the Bible, the truth of the life of Jesus, the testimony of lives changed through the work of Christ, and know that He is the Way, the Truth, the Life, and no one gets to the father but through Him. Jesus did not come to be a way to the Father. He did not come so you could live a life your own way, covered in your own sin, and think of God’s law as mere guidelines. If scripture says it’s a sin, then no amount of time or cultural change, will alter the fact that sin is the same yesterday, as it is today, as it will be tomorrow. Sin is treason against a Holy and Righteous God, and must be treated as such. Grace is not justification to sin, and no amount of feelings, will change what sin is. Scripture says to reject sin, so hate your own sin, and flee from it, not get comfy with it and just accept it as normal or right. There is no justification for living in sin. Jesus came to fulfil the law of Moses, to be the substitution for our sins, to rule from the right hand of the father, being our mediator, our high priest, and when Satan goes before the throne, the great accuser and points out our failings, Jesus’s blood covers us, and the father only sees the blood of his son.  Let us start off this next year on the right foot. Let us know Jesus, and more importantly, let us live a life in which Jesus knows and sees us. There will be many people in Hell who knew scripture, who said they knew Jesus, but their heart was in the wrong place. Let us know who He is as Lord, and what can we do to serve Him, not to receive anything in return, but to worship Him because He deserves worship. We do not worship and give so that we may be blessed in return. It is not if you are faithful God will give you everything you want, and if you tithe you will receive bountiful wads of cash in return. If you pray and are faithful enough you will be healed, because none of that is scriptural. 

I leave you with this, 

The FIVE SOLA’s

Sola Gratia- Saved by Grace Alone

Sola Fida – Through Faith Alone

Solus Christus- In Christ Alone

Sola Scriptuara – According to Scripture Alone

Soli Deo Gloria – For the Glory of God Alone 

We are not saved by works, or traditions, or how much we tithe. We are saved by grace, through faith, in the finished works of Christ, according to the word of God (Scripture) and in the Glory of God alone. Have a glorious new year and may God bring blessings upon you, may he create in you a new heart made of flesh. May you be a new creation, and may the Holy Spirit come to you so you may worship and know God. 

Happy New Year 2024. 

The Christmas Fight

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The Christmas Fight

To say the least this year has been a tough year. I have struggled with physical issues, issues at home, government agency issues, financial struggles, and more. In just the month of December I have faced the loss of a beloved therapy dog of 11 years, Cooper. I am facing the loss of my home for the last three years, my tent, my man cave, my bat cave, my studio in the great outdoors. After a recent storm, stitching has been damaged and is not able to be repaired. As I prepare for my upcoming surgery, I find myself struggling. I see the world on fire, Israel under attack, Christianity and a Biblical way of life under attack, and I have struggled to not get swept away. I have watched as Christmas has been so watered down, diluted by the Devil, that the meaning of Christmas is getting lost by the great majority. We are about to celebrate the birth of God the man, who was born of a virgin mother, carried for nine months and born in a little town called Bethlehem, Israel. We are about to celebrate the birth of a Jewish man 2020+ years old, in a place, that apparently the world says was only theirs since 1948. When you perpetuate a lie long enough people begin to believe it. I have been struggling with loss these last couple weeks, and through it all, through the hardships, concerns, stressors, I know that there is something more. I have prayed and wondered where the means would come from to replace the existing tent with a new one. I have prayed how I would receive a chair to sit in and recover for this extended recovery time. I have prayed how I would manage over the next nine months, BUT GOD, always has a plan. It’s so easy to get wrapped up on the world, that you forget to look to the one, the only one who can truly do anything about the struggles we go through. 

God has presented a path. We often expect when we follow God that the road is now a smooth path. I consider the tale of Christian in the Pilgrims Progress. A man walking and minding his own business as a good Christian should, when a man named Worldly steps in and shows him a much smoother more glorious looking path. Christian in his naivety follows the path, which nearly leads him to destruction. Our path as a Christian is hard, and uneven, rocky, hilly. Sometimes it will lead us to peaceful rivers, some meadows, and the mountain top, but also the valley. We must learn how to be prepared no matter where we find ourselves. Why people think the world will be an easier place full of prosperity and health and wealth I will never understand. One look at the Apostle Paul who gave up all his wealth and fame, prestige, in exchange for the beatings, the jail cells, the vipers, ship wrecks, did I mention the multiple beatings and stoning? This would all lead to his ultimate beheading, but it seems to me he got the better deal in the end. The Devil may give us all our earthly desires, the same he tempted Christ with, only to keep us from our Lord Jesus. Do we follow Jesus because of what is in it for us, or the fact we are wretched sinners, who deserve death, and Hell, and knowing his sacrifice for us, we can humble beyond our pride, and worship our creator, Lord and Savior? 

The simple fact is, Jesus is with me. He sent his Helper, the Holy Spirit to be with us, and I know that loosing Cooper, loosing my mobility, facing housing challenges, facing off against government agencies, I know the Lord is with me. The devil is trying hard to distract me, to pull me away from Jesus, but God’s grace is sufficient. God trains our fingers for war, and we are soldiers fighting on the front lines. We face off against the commercialism of Christmas. We face off against the lies of those who wish to bury Christianity, and all sense of rationalism. We face off against health and wealth gospels. But we must realize the battle is already won. The end of the story is written. Christ wins the day. And while the story was written when it started, for us it goes back a little more than 2020 years ago when time was split, and a concert was performed in the sky by a multitude of the Host of Heavenly Angels. A line in scripture we often graze over. A bunch of Angels appeared over the shepherds in the sky and sang about Jesus. 

Luke 2:8-14

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,

    and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

This Host, a word that means Army, this Army of the heavenly angels gathered in the sky and sang a glorious concert over the shepherds. These angels stated the divinity of this baby boy. This king who humbled himself out of time, out of heaven, split time in two and took off his glory, and put on flesh, is not just a baby to be celebrated at Christmas, but every day. This baby, became a man, and bore our sins for us. This baby would take the punishment we deserve. This baby would take the beating, the ridicule, the humiliation, the torture, and would in the perfection of time, trade his life for ours. The God-Head prior to the death of Jesus had not experienced death, and for us, even though we didn’t deserve to be saved, He saved us. A loving God came to earth and was born of a poor family, lived a poor life, lost his earthly father at an early life, and had no place to lay his head. Jesus faced the humiliation of putting on this frail and fragile flesh, and allowed it to be broken for us, even though we are enemies of God. WE have since the fall of man, and continue to be guilty of cosmic treason, rebelling in our flesh against God. The Angels sang Glory to God in the highest, and said that the Messiah was Lord. There is no mistaking these words, Jesus and the father are and will always and have been one.

In just a couple days, we will gather with family and friends, we will open presents, and we will share food and laughs, but I ask this, please take a moment out of your day and have a solemn minute to thank God, to thank Jesus for enduring the cross for us. A loving God took upon the most painful experience known to man, the cross, and endured it in its entirety. This word crucifixion in which we get our word excruciating, was taking our place on that rugged cross. Jesus could have said in an instant, he was done with us, done with that cross, and he could have said “I don’t want to do this anymore!” Come off that cross and wiped us off the face of the earth. He instead said “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” He could have not finished the work on the cross knowing we would continue to sin against a righteous and holy God. Instead, he gave up his life for us. He came into time for us. He split time itself, BC/AD, for us. He fulfilled the law, redeemed God’s people, and grafted the gentiles into the heavenly family. 

God has blessed me with much and I know to be grateful for what I have. Has this year been difficult, absolutely, but I know that as a soldier I will struggle. I know that this life isn’t made for us to have it easy, but instead, learn to fight the fight. Learn to turn to God. Scripture never says follow me and all things will be made easy. No, in fact, it says, take up your cross daily, deny yourself, do not be conformed of this world, take up no earthy treasures. As Christians continue to fight the good fight against false teachers, hate, crime, discrimination, and war. I ask you to keep your focus on the light of the world. Take time to see Jesus in this world. As Boromir said (LOTR) “Yes, there is weakness. There is frailty. But there is courage also, and honor, to be found in Men.” Do not lose hope, for even though it seems dark, and hopeless, it is not. Jesus said, “take heart for in this world you will have tribulations, but I have overcome the world.” John 16:33. 

This is a birthday, so let us celebrate it. Let us remember the true meaning of Christmas. It wouldn’t be Christmas without an honorable mention. I have grown in my faith and as such, I have attempted to scale back the use of Santa in my decorations. While I do not begrudge Santa, I am reminded of how Coca-Cola changed the image of Santa. I am reminded of the movie “Miracle on 34th Street” When the spirit of Christmas became so commercial, it has a famous line in the movie. The real Santa, Saint Nicholas, of Asia Minor was known to be particularly generous to children in need. There are dozens of stories of his kindness and generosity. The truth, he was imprisoned for his faith. He also is said to have punched a heretic in the face for speaking falsely about God. The true memory of Santa is something to be read about and celebrated. While I do enjoy the occasional movie about Santa, let us remember the real Santa knew Jesus and exhalated Christ. Let us remember this is about the birth of our savior, not the toys, and baubles. It’s about the miracle of a virgin birth, a child entering by woman, grown from an embryo, in the fullness of time, Jesus was born the God/Man. Let us have a safe and very Merry CHRISTmas. Let us put the Christ back in Christmas. Let us celebrate this Jewish man, born over 2000 year ago, in a place ravaged by war and strife today. I am broken hearted this Christmas, but I know Jesus holds my tears, and one day, I will cry no more tears, will suffer no more, because of the life that started as a little baby born, who’s cry broke 400 years of silence. Praise God, thankful to our King, Lord, and Savior. 

Merry CHRISTmas to all, and may blessings be upon you. 

A Scream In The Car

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A recent night, things came to a head and I found myself about to leave the house on an emergency run to Walmart. Before leaving I had to let out the anger and frustration inside. I took a deep breath and let out the long scream from my lungs. Knowing hardships come and dealing with them does not free us of those frustrations or anger during hardships. Hardships come to all, and as Christians we expect it. Jesus faced unimaginable hardships, persecution, torture and death. James 1:2-4 2 “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”

The trials I have had these last couple weeks have tested my patience and have forced me to dig deep into my faith. It has been a challenge but I know the difficulties will pass, the storm shall calm, and I will have grown from the challenges and persevered against an enemy that means to destroy me. Have faith my brothers and sisters, and keep fighting the good fight.

Hope In The Darkness 

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Hope In The Darkness 

Death comes for us all. We are but a vapor, (James 4:14). Scripture is clear that our purpose in creation was to have a free will relationship with God, but also to take care of his creation, the earth. God holds such value in us, that Lucifer rebelled against God the Father, and knowing he cannot win an outright attack on the Father, targets the children, us. While we no longer live in the several hundred years range, and the theory I have for that, is the longer our bodies are corrupted by Sin, and death, without modern medicine we would die far younger and younger. Obviously, we aren’t a healthy creature, as we can see here in the U.S., just look around. There is hate abounding all around us. “So much death. What can men do against such reckless hate? (King Theoden, Two Towers). The hope Theoden was looking for was the sunrise to the East, where Gandolf had said, on the third morning look to the East. We too, like King Theoden, need to have hope and look to the East. 

We live in dark times, and by the looks of it, getting darker by the day. Even though we live in dark times, and we should expect them to get darker, we also need to remember the one who conquered death. Before Jesus, the trinity did not know the taste of death. It was Jesus that died on the cross, and just when Satan had believed his victory was complete, Jesus was raised, the stone pulled away, and a resurrected Jesus walked out of that cold dark tomb. What hope do we have in death? Tetelesti, ‘It is Finished’. (John 19:30) The price we were owed for our sins was death, and is death if we do not have faith in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. But Jesus paid the bill for us. 

In Exodus we see a mirror for the cross. The serpents bite and kill the Israelites, and God tells Moses to make a bronze serpent, raise it on a pole, and if those who look upon it in faith, for them they shall be healed. The key word is faith. Our hope rests in what Jesus had done, but ultimately it is our faith that saves us. Jesus gift to us, his grace and mercy, are gifts, but if we do not accept it, it is useless to us. It is our faith, as simple as faith is in concept, it is this faith that saves us. 

I have heard many in my life say, ‘show me evidence that there is a god and I’ll believe it.’ This is perhaps one of the most foolish notions I have heard. Judas spent nearly three years with Christ, he witnessed all he was, all he said, and still betrayed him for the price of a common slave, 3O pieces of silver. When someone sees and still rejects, we need to understand that for some people, they may never accept Jesus, no matter the evidence. We have hope because as the Israelites needed to have hope in God’s plan, there is hope is the savior, Jesus, and we are saved through that. There are multiple books that takes a deep look at the evidence, and two in particular were written by ex-atheist. “The Case For Christ” By: Lee Strobel, and “Cold-Case Christianity” By: J. Warner Wallace. Strobel was a journalist, and Wallace a Cold Case Detective, both Atheists, till they were led to disprove Christianity. 

We can look at many figures in history that changed their path to follow Christ, the most prominent is Paul, formerly Saul in the New Testament. He gave up power, fame, prestige, wealth, comfort, to be beaten, prisoned, stoned, shipwrecked, and ultimately beheaded, all in the name of Christ. People to go great lengths to gain what he gave up, not the other way around. 10/11 people (Apostles) do not go to their deaths knowing something is a lie. The Bible also uses women as eye witnesses, which I have spoken about in Women, Why Women,

https://thearrowpreacher.com/2018/08/13/women-why-women/ 

We need to understand that while the point of this post is not an apologetics argument, it cements the hope we have in Jesus, because in a dark world, we need to have assurance that what we know is true, and that Jesus is in fact that hope. I have in fact written another post on apologetics

 https://thearrowpreacher.com/2018/07/17/apologetics/

Jesus is our hope, because we have assurance that scripture is in fact that inspired word of God. We have assurance that Jesus rose again and was seen by no less than 500 people after his very real death, a death that the Romans could not fake or make a mistake. We have hope because Jesus fulfilled hundreds of prophecies, and the odds of doing that are impossible, even statistically. So, again, why is all this important? Because we have assurance in who Jesus is, and who he said he was. 

Jesus is the Lamb of God, who left his throne at the right hand of the Father, and came to Earth to be the propitiation of us sinners. Jesus became the atonement for sinners repenting and having faith in Him, that he is “The way, the Truth, and the Life.” (John14:6) While not everyone will be saved, it is important to make that distinction. Not everyone will walk through the gate at the end of the narrow way. Some people will reject Jesus, and will continue to reject Jesus in their own Hell. There is but one way to have hope in the darkness, and that way is to follow Jesus. To put your faith in him. You must realize you are a sinner, and there is nothing you can do to make that right. There is nothing in your own power or works, that makes you worthy of Heaven, the home of an almighty and perfect God. Our works before perfection are nothing. Heaven is not where all roads converge of many faiths or religions. There is but one way to Heaven, and that’s through Jesus, not by your own works, but of the finished work of Jesus. 

I have seen much death in my life. I have watched as friends have died, close family. I have watched first hand as soldiers I knew died on the battlefield. I have watched death before my very eyes. We know death will come to all, and scripture tells us to number our days, so we may grow in a heart of wisdom. (Psalm 90:12). Death is not the end but the beginning. Death is only permanent for those who don’t know Christ. Death is but the final frontier. 

Death The Final Frontier

None of us know how much time we have, but we know that we are to live our lives. Though we live in a world of darkness, death, hurt and heartbreak, we can prevail over death, we have hope that this is not home, but home awaits us. We have a mansion waiting for us in a land we cannot comprehend, where the almighty God sits upon the throne and we get to worship a Holy God along with the choir of Angels. Do not wait till the trumpet sounds to make a choice. Know God and let God know and have a relationship with you. Trust in Him with all your heart and lean not upon your own understanding, but walk in faith, not by sight. 

Before The Trumpet Sounds

Sufficient IS The Word

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Sufficient Is The Word

It’s been 19 years. 19 years since my life changed. I’m not sure why young men are so anxious to go to war. Between personal experience, and how it’s portrayed in movies, young men are all too excited to go to war and fight for what they believe in. The idea of going to war is also one of fear, and we think nothing of what is to come. 

Psalm 144:1 

144 Blessed be the Lord my Rock,

Who trains my hands for war,

And my fingers for battle—

I have told this story many times, the morning was beautiful. There was a quiet in the air. The streets empty, contrast to the normally busy, bustling city. The absence of people could only mean one thing… War. The explosions making trucks disappear, the sound of bullets ricocheting off of the truck, and RPG’s flying overhead and all around the truck, exploding nearby. War was upon us, and the well-coordinated ambush could be our last. But God, had a different plan for us. Early in the ambush my posture changed and I felt a warm feeling come over my body, it came with a strange peace. The feeling of something covering my hands, holding my body still, providing comfort and security, covered my whole body. When the conflict was over, the feeling disappeared, and the emotions flooded to the surface, my body shook, and anyone near me could tell. During the fifteen minutes of hell, the truck was a loud place, screaming and gunfire from the inside, explosions from the outside, and all the while I was at peace. Only upon stopping at the convoy had I learned the fate of my truck. The last mile, the truck would not go faster than around five miles per hour. After my foot came off the gas and the truck stopped running, it would not start again for many weeks. The truck took catastrophic damage, and upon further investigation, the truck had taken so much damage, the major fluids were not present. Oil began spraying the hood, and up onto the windshield. Grace, it seems, covered the truck in protection, and guided us to safety. 

Grace, in this instance, I believe whole heartedly was the Holy Spirit. If not the Holy Spirit, an Angel sent by God to guide us to safety. Either way, sent by God to protect us. God chose to save us, and it would be years before I came to understand the saying of Paul,

2 Corinthians 12:9-11

9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Paul pleaded with God to remove the thorn in his flesh, a messenger of Satan, to buffet him. Why would it take me so long to reach the same conclusion? I had seen death and destruction, and knew it was the Lord that saw me through, but it would take me years to hear in my own head, “your grace is sufficient.” 

We love to live in our sins. We love to think we have control over our own lives. We think God is a cosmic Santa Clause there for our needs and our wants, but we don’t see Him as Lord, just savior. There is a saying, “there are no atheists in a fox hole.” There is so much of God’s beauty in this world, yet, we often ignore the creator, and we as a society have begun to worship the created. 

Isaiah 40:28-31

28 Have you not known?

Have you not heard?

The everlasting God, the Lord,

The Creator of the ends of the earth,

Neither faints nor is weary.

His understanding is unsearchable.

29 He gives power to the weak,

And to those who have no might He increases strength.

30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary,

And the young men shall utterly fall,

31 But those who wait on the Lord

Shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like eagles,

They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not faint.

If we are to walk in the faith, we must see the world, see the sin, see God in His creation. We must see that God created all, and His grace is what keeps us here. God keeps us here in his Mercy. God gives us these things day to day, and yet we turn to the creation, we turn to the stars, we turn to ourselves, and our idols, before we see an everlasting God. 

In recent years I have often felt weary, and tired. I look to the world to see what’s going on around me, and I find myself broken hearted. How far we, a once shining nation, a nation under God, a light on the hill, has now fallen. Other countries now look to the U.S. as morally bankrupt. A corrupt and leaderless nation, full of debauchery, a nation that now looks more “amoral: having no moral standards, restraints, or principles; unaware of or indifferent to questions of right or wrong: than ever before.” (Dictionary.com) During these times of personal struggle, I have tried to stay firm, and strong, despite the pushback I have experienced. I have been called names, I have been ridiculed, and I have seen people leave out of my life. I have come to realize, it isn’t just God’s grace that is sufficient, but God’s Holy Word also. Scripture is sufficient. Scripture is truth, and no other opinion matters. “The Word of God is the anvil upon which the opinions of men are smashed.” (Charles H. Spurgeon) 

Why did I survive 19 years ago? Why during all the close calls, did I make it home, when so many others did not. 68 combat deaths, and hundreds of purple hearts, and I made it home with just a few scratches, and some emotional scars. God is sovereign, his Will is perfect. 

Isaiah 40:31

31 But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

I cannot fathom today a life without Jesus. I know I would not be here times over, had it not been for Jesus being with me. Having been spared in Iraq, then many times since then, and as I approach yet another anniversary beyond today, I am reminded the power, and mercy, and love of the Father and Christ. I would not be here if it wasn’t for that grace, and I cannot call it luck either. Nothing happens outside of the will of God, so while we say lucky out of habit, in reality, it is God’s will. Perhaps some day I may know why God chose to spare me 19 years ago, along with my crew, but for today, I trust in Him. I remember that day, and find myself thankful. I am thankful for the hardships and the blessings that have come from it. I am thankful for where I am today, even if life today is far from easy. I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams, and I am thankful for all I have. Some days I break down and cry, hoping for an easier life, hoping for an easier time, but I know if it’s God’s will, He will bring me out of the valley, and I will be at peace. However, in my prayers, and in my hope, I find peace of spirit, even on the battle field today. The war for me in Iraq may be over, but the spiritual war is far from that. I have a new mission, and it’s to provide for my family, and be in constant prayer. Lead my family and pray always. As a man, I am to lead by example. Lead my family in worship at home. Be the spiritual head of the household. Today, and always the Lords grace is sufficient. His will, his love, his Holy word, is sufficient. 

Psalm 23:

The Lord is my shepherd;

I shall not want.

2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside the still waters.

3 He restores my soul;

He leads me in the paths of righteousness

For His name’s sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil;

For You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You anoint my head with oil;

My cup runs over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

All the days of my life;

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord

Forever.

Do we Trust 

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Do we Trust 

Hardships are simply part of this world. Some things we bring upon ourselves. Some things we face are due to other sinful people. And some things are acts of nature allowed by God. When we choose the wrong partner, quit a job for dumb reasons, turn to a substance for comfort, acts of crime or just do something stupid, those things we bring upon ourselves. When your house is burgled, someone spreads rumor or lies about you, these are products of living around sinners. When the person at the grocery store is rude towards you, or your significant other cheats, these things are things from sinful people. Acts of nature are storms, flat tire, water heater going bad, illness, etc. We must understand where hardships come from and why. 

It’s been 7 years since I was broken to the bedrock of my existence. Where I experienced a nuclear bomb exploding, and I watched my life turn from what looked like a good life from the outside, and even appeared that way to myself, to a broken down, foundation cracking, life altering experience. 

I think back to Paul riding to Damascus with orders to bring those of the way to “Justice”. Paul, a man of prestige, wealth, power, notoriety, a zealous man, bringing forth his version of Justice to those who follow “the way”. He was a persecutor of the church. So why then would he become one of them? God has a tendency to uproot our lives and set us on a different path. What I didn’t know at that time in my life 7 years ago, was, what Satan meant for evil, the Lord used for good. 

I have spoken about the specificity of what happened to me before, and debated whether to talk about it again, or not. I was angry, and lost, and couldn’t imagine why a loving God would bring me to the point I was at in my life. Why would he allow the sinful nature of someone else bring me to where I was. Why would he allow me to be hurt like that? The fact is, Sinful people hurt sinful people. We do not live our ‘best life now’, because God saves that for Heaven. We as Christians will face the bumpy road, the road of toil and troubles. Satan often tries to show us the easy, straight path, and in our nature, we want the path of ease, comfort, and peace. Sadly the kind of peace most seek is not the same peace scripture tells us to aspire to live in. We often take what Satan offers to us. We take the first step, we give in to the first temptation, and before we know it, we are neck deep in sinful thoughts, decisions, and despair. 

But God, will often use what we go through to help others. God will often use our past, post salvation, to help others walk the path. Our testimony is a powerful tool for sharing or providing an opening for the Gospel, but feelings do not equate to truth, so be careful not to confuse the two. While my testimony is a very emotional one, I would not want anyone to confuse my emotional testimony as proof the gospel is real. My testimony does not need to prove anything, except what the gospel and my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has done for me. The gospel and holy scripture speaks for itself. There is proof in scripture, and evidence can be found in extra biblical sources if one truly seeks to find the truth. We as people often don’t want to know the truth. “The truth…All it did was anger those who preferred lies and confusion and backspinning in the hope of making themselves look better.” (Eli, pg. 288, Thrawn) We see the Pharisees in scripture look at truth in the face, and rejected it. The truth however can be powerful, as the saying goes, ‘no one knowingly dies for a lie.’ 

I would die for my faith if I had too, or at least I say I would. We never truly know what we would do until we are put in that situation. I’ve also heard, and as fitting as today is, ‘terrorists die for the faith they believe in all the time.’ And while yes this is also true, it is what they believe. Consider this however, if the conspiracy theory is actually true, that the apostles made up the Jesus story, why then, would they, who would have beyond a doubt known the truth, give up their lives for a lie? Scripture airs out the dirty laundry of the characters in the book. The highs and lows of every character is put out there for the world to see. The truth has remained the test of time because it is the truth. As I have posted before, women were chosen to be the first eye witnesses of the empty tomb. https://thearrowpreacher.com/2018/08/13/women-why-women/ The men in scripture who’s mistakes were written to show their imperfection, and the contrast, Jesus who became sin so those who believe and look upon Him in faith, may be saved from our sentence of eternal torment in Hell. There were so many eye witnesses to the risen Jesus, the Roman empire could not silence the movement. 

Risen For You

“When the Apostils watched in horror as their Lord was nailed to a cross after being brutally beaten, they were crushed in spirit. They were utterly without hope, but after 3 days the blood debt was paid, the victory lap had been made, and Christ would rise and make himself seen fulfilling the prophesy and destroying deaths hold over the sinner for all eternity.” (Arrow Preacher, ‘Peace’, https://thearrowpreacher.com/2018/04/06/peace/)

In 2018 I wrote and shared a paper about truth. 

Fighting Terrorism

Bad things happen all the time, and at the heart of all this is, do we trust God’s plan? As we look at today being the 9/11 anniversary, do we trust in God’s plan? When you hurt, do you trust God’s plan? When someone you care about is take from you, do you trust in God’s plan?

We don’t always get the answers to why, but we do have answers to why in a broad scope. We live in a fallen world, and sin runs abound. We look at the life of Job, Joseph, Jeremiah, Paul, and the martyrs that came after. Why did they suffer for their faith? God had a plan, and all we can do is trust in that plan. 

Why God?

Trusting in the plan may be one of the hardest things we do, perhaps even harder than accepting God as savior. I have seen so many walk away from the faith when things get hard, or when they lose family members. The hardships will come and keep coming. Hardships as I spoke of recently are sometimes thrust upon us, sometimes we bring these things upon ourselves. Our choices matters and we should live a cautious tale of blaming God for hardships we face. We are not the only ones that face hardships of our own making. The Israelites complained and sinned before a Holy God just days after being freed from the bondage of servitude in Egypt. Their complaints and actions caused the forty-year exodus. An entire generation doomed themselves to live out their days in the desert. 

Numbers 21:4-7

4 Then they journeyed from Mount Hor by the Way of the Red Sea, to go around the land of Edom; and the soul of the people became very discouraged on the way. 5 And the people spoke against God and against Moses: “Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? For there is no food and no water, and our soul loathes this worthless bread.” 6 So the Lord sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and many of the people of Israel died.

7 Therefore the people came to Moses, and said, “We have sinned, for we have spoken against the Lord and against you; pray to the Lord that He take away the serpents from us.” So Moses prayed for the people.

To this point, the Lord God has taken care of His people, delivering them from Egypt, enemies, hunger, and thirst, yet they complain at the first sign of trouble. But God, sends a sign, 

Numbers 21:8-

8 Then the Lord said to Moses, “Make a fiery serpent, and set it on a pole; and it shall be that everyone who is bitten, when he looks at it, shall live.” 9 So Moses made a bronze serpent, and put it on a pole; and so it was, if a serpent had bitten anyone, when he looked at the bronze serpent, he lived.

Do we look upon the cross and have faith? We are told through scripture; we are saved by faith and faith alone. Mirroring Numbers, we look upon the cross and have faith because Jesus had to die for us. We are wretched sinners, who bring most of our troubles upon ourselves, and we must repent of those sins and trust in Jesus. The Father’s will is sovereign and we must trust his plan. I heard this recently, “Why y’all blamin’ God for your problems? Most of y’all’s problems came from not listening to Him to begin with.” (Unknown) 

When we choose not to live in God’s will, we cannot complain when things go badly. When we are out having unprotected sex with anyone we want, why do we blame God for getting pregnant, or sick? When we choose drugs instead of church, why do we blame God for our families falling apart? When we lie, cheat, steal, and live in our sexual immorality, knowing God cannot bless those things, why are we surprised when hardships come to our door? 

Years ago I wrote this “If we are to live our lives on our path, we need to focus on what kind of character in God’s game we want to be. We have our option to how we behave.” (Arrow Preacher, https://thearrowpreacher.com/2018/03/27/god-the-ultimate-dungeon-master/) While my understanding of God has changed since the writing of this post, and I have grown, I do still maintain, some things we bring on ourselves because of our actions, and some things are going to come our way no matter what we do. We must understand that troubles build character, and in all things, good and bad we must turn to the Lord. 

Romans 5:3-5

3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

On this anniversary of 9/11, have faith in the Lord. In the midst of troubles, in a sinful, and fallen world, we must turn our face to the Father, and trust no matter what comes our way, we are soldiers on the front lines, and we fight the good fight every day. We must trust in the Father, and know that Jesus is at the right hand of the father moderating for you and I. We must trust that the Holy Spirit is with us daily, and we are never alone in the fight. We must continue to grow in our faith, and in our knowledge of God’s Holy Word. Continue to learn, get off of the milk and onto the meat of scripture. 

Today, the seventh of anniversary that I gave my life to the Lord. I succumbed to my own sin, and having realized I cannot do anything without the Lord with me, I gave my life to Him, and finally listened to the call, God put upon my heart. I began to serve, and continue to serve. Since then, while my life is full of hardships, I have hope. I struggle with money, with food, with my living situation, with my health, and in no way did choosing to follow God, make my life easy. It did not. My problems did not magically disappear. Money did not begin flowing my way. I was not miraculously healed of my major infirmities. Choosing to follow and trust in Jesus does not mean everything will be easy. On the contrary, choosing Jesus is like grabbing a Kevlar, and joining the front lines of the war. Being a soldier on the front line is never easy, but knowing what the cost of not knowing Jesus is, there is no argument to not trust in Jesus. Jesus is “the way the truth and the life, no one gets to the father except through ‘me’.” Put your hope in him as I have. Sometimes life is still hard and full of pain, but through the pain, hope and peace are multiplied to you. It’s never too late to choose Jesus. It’s never too late to see the truth that scripture is real, it is truth, and we are wretched sinners in need of a savior. 

The Battle Continues 

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The Battle Continues: 

It’s been well over a decade since an excited and scared kid ended up in the Middle East. He was filled with honor and duty. He thought he could single handedly save the day, or die in a blaze of glory. The truth was much less glorious. The days were long and hot, and difficult to the core of his being. The time for training was over, and the realization that every day could be the last on Earth, didn’t escape him. The desert heat and the sand that came with was a constant reminder he wasn’t in Michigan anymore. The constant bang of outgoing artillery, along with the sound of helicopters, and then the not so occasional incoming mortars and rockets kept the adrenalin at an unhealthy but necessary high. Was he broken already, because his fight or flight seemed to be. He barely winced when the explosions occurred at random throughout the day. At one point several months in that dingy and dirty place, he was on the roof, the faint pops of incoming rounds and yet, he stood tall upon the building, watching the rounds fall from the sky and the impacts causing dust and debris to fill the air. What was wrong with him, that these things didn’t seem to bother him in the slightest. Months prior less than a month into the deployment a well-planned ambush locked his crew in a dangerous game of surviving the maze. The enemy was ready and planned the route, a kill box. A few hundred to two. Two trucks against a couple hundred of well-armed insurgents. With IED’s *Road Side Bombs, set in wait, along with hundreds of armed men and even some women with shoulder fire rockets *RPG’s, and rifles. What hope could a couple trucks have against multiple city blocks of the house of terrors? The answer would come in the most unusual way. Psalm 144:1-2 “Blessed be the Lord my Rock,

Who trains my hands for war, And my fingers for battle— 2 My lovingkindness and my fortress,

My high tower and my deliverer, My shield and the One in whom I take refuge, Who subdues my people under me.” My fingers and hands were indeed trained for war, and in the middle of the battle I felt as if a presence had taken over my hands, guiding me, showing me how to get out of the kill zone. A sense of peace in the middle of the battle took hold of me. While there were screams of war surrounding me, and the sounds of weapons fire, explosions, and a dying truck, peace was with me. Holy Spirit, Angel sent by the Lord, I can’t say, but I know we were delivered by God from the midst of battle. The battle wages on in my head on a regular basis, but not so much as the fateful day when the world changed, the scars left behind would forever alter that kid who went to war as a kid, but would emerge something else. 

“War is Hell” (Sherman) This seems so simplistic yet, real. War never really leaves us. “War, it doesn’t leave you. It… It can, it can bury itself, but it’s, it’s always there.” (Christine Chapel, ST. SNW) 

War, leaves a mark, one that most cannot see. The things soldiers see in the course of their duty is that of nightmares, things we have become desensitized too in our lives due to Hollywood. Those who choose to wear the uniform bare the burdens of nightmares, and emotional scars, so that others may not have too. Freedom comes at a high price, and love it, or hate the politics involved, some bullies need to be stopped. Some battles must be waged by those who can, to protect those who can’t. The time to act was put before us, and no matter the truth as to why we were there, we were in fact there. The politics, and the reasons no longer mattered when the mission had become survive and to the best you can to impact your area in the most positive way possible. Attempt to bring peace and prosperity to where you were. Scripture says “18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” Romans 12:18. Some days, the war comes to you, it hurts, it breaks you, and leaves you down on the floor, wondering how, why, did it all come to this? 

The destruction of one Humvee is always a risk, one that the higher ups deemed as an acceptable one. The missions came daily, and all we soldiers could do was hope they were worth it. The explosion rings in my mind every day. The sight of the plomb of black smoke, one tan door a hundred feet into the sky, and a soldiers worst nightmare became reality. Four dead. What happened in those hours would both destroy lives, and create a new family. Tragedy often brings people together in ways that still surprises me. How do we get through such gruesome and tragic endings? Time, prayer, and family. War leaves a mark, and it never leaves. Some days, something comes to mind and it picks at the wounds, causing it to bleed, to tear open, and there is often little comfort. 

Psalm 23

23 The Lord is my shepherd;

I shall not want.

2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside the still waters.

3 He restores my soul;

He leads me in the paths of righteousness

For His name’s sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil;

For You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You anoint my head with oil;

My cup runs over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

All the days of my life;

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord

Forever.

We cannot change the past, and we cannot ignore it either. When the days come that the war comes back, we must give it, it’s due. We must acknowledge it, see it for what it is, and deal with it accordingly. Finding peace in tragedy is one of the hardest things a soldier will do. The training of a soldier is to change that person, train them to do the things that are opposite to human nature. Self-preservation is built into a personal DNA, yet a soldier will often run towards danger, stand tall, fight. A soldier will put those feelings into a box and put that box under lock and key in a closet with another door and lock, all to face the danger in front of them, and to be able to do so effectively. Soldiers, firefighters, police, doctors and nurses, all face these kinds of things. How does someone see their friends blown up, see the wreckage and sleep at night? Time, and effort, therapy, and prayer. There is no cure for the battle, but we can train ourselves to face the new type of warfare. The training to be a soldier takes a long time, sometimes years, but the truth is, you’ll never stop being a soldier, not really. Learning how to be something more when the soldering is done, takes a lot of time, and effort, but there is hope, because while you will never stop being a soldier, there is a way to be more. We are not defined by just one thing in our lives, parent, child, graduate, soldier, spouse, Christian. Psalm 23, a man, a soldier, a shepherd, a king, a husband, father, adulterer, murderer, judge, a man after God’s own heart, David held many tags for his life. How do we survive the trials and tribulations in life? Faith. We must have faith that God the Father is in control on the throne. We must have faith that our pain is not in vein. We must trust that while Satan often means things for our harm, for the Christian, God can and will use everything we go through for good. Will we stumble and fall? Sure we will. Will we have days when the PTSD hits us strong like a heavy weight punch to the face, absolutely. But through it all, scripture gives us all we need. Romans 5:1-5 5 “Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” 

Life isn’t going to be an easy time as a Christian. Sometimes we must fight the good fight. Sometimes we must put on the war vest and do our best to bring peace. Sometimes we have to stand up for those who can’t stand for themselves. No matter the battles, the hardships, the trials, we know we have a King, a Lord, a Savior who understands, and is there with us. We know the vail was torn and we have a direct line to the God of the Universe and we can turn to seek his face any time, day or night. We know that he is with us, and we will never be alone. We know he will never leave, nor will He forsake us. And we know that when we seek his forgiveness in true repentance, we will be forgiven. While we were soldiers, we who follow Christ, are both soldiers of our country, but also soldiers for Christ, the General of the Fathers army of Angels and men. We are part of the war for souls, and we are called to go forth, make disciples, baptize in His *Jesus name. We are called to fight the good fight. How do we carry on from war, we realize that one war is over, and the next begins. We fight for Jesus, and he fights for us. We sacrifice for Jesus, because he sacrificed for us. We seek his face, because he sought ours. We are strong not of our own will, but the strength He gives to us. He gives us refuge when we need refuge. He corrects us when we are wrong, holds us when we weep. 

Take the battle one day at a time, and put your assurance upon the Lord of Lords. Cast your burdens upon him, and he will guide you. We were not given a spirit of fear, but one of Courage. Fight the good fight, and never give up, and never surrender.