Tag: jesus christ

I Ran Away 

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I Ran Away 

In my youth I followed you. I felt you in my life, but only sometimes. I was mad at you, I was mad at the world. I hated what you did to me, and the life I had. I was so upset, but I followed you. When I left home I still followed you. You felt distant, but I knew you were there. I journeyed away to far distant lands. The sand I found was hot and course. The gear I wore was heavy and hot. 

The shots rang out and the explosions did too. The screams, and the shouts, and all the death, was silent for me, and you I felt. What could explain the calm and warmth, your spirit was with me, not so distant that day. 

As days and weeks past, I could feel you with me. The danger rose, as the missions did too. Why were you distant from me, why could I only feel you when danger was close? 

An explosion rings out and dust filled the cab. Its over fast, but there you were. With me again, I felt you there. An amazing survival, it seems we were untouchable. You indeed were with me. 

That day started like any other. The explosion ripped away the vail, and we were in a war. We weren’t untouchable. You gave me a vision, and I was powerless to stop it. Why would you do that? Why would you show me something I couldn’t stop. I was angry, I ran from you. 

I ran from you for so long. I didn’t want to talk to you, or hear from you. I was so angry I didn’t understand. 

I ran from you when they left. I ran from you when my world collapsed. I ran from you when the bullet ripped my chest. On my knees I fell just a week before, but I didn’t understand, I didn’t know, what I didn’t know.

Alone in the dark you said it’s okay. Alone in the dark I said I’m sorry, and you said I know. Alone in the dark, I found my way, I wasn’t alone at all. Alone in the dark I saw the truth. I’d been running, but not to you. You saved my life and brought me back. A heart of stone was stone no more. 

I’d been running for so long then, running away, my sin was dark. An enemy of yours, yet you followed me. I treated you bad, and yet you were there. I could not see my way was flawed. I ran from you, but you were there. I ran from you, but you rescued me. You saved my life, and now I see. 

My heart said much, I slung thistles and stones at you. I broke your commands and I broke your heart, yet you ran after me. 

So much I didn’t deserve, but you were there chasing after me. 

Your son gave it all so I may know, 

The truth of love, and sacrifice. 

Now I still run today, but I run to you. To your open arms you wait for me. 

I run to you, I run some more, excited to run, I run to you.

Into your arms I cannot wait, to be with you, in heavens embrace. 

I run the race; the fight endured. You wait for me with open arms. My path made straight, I run to you. 

No arrows may stop, no hurdles to tall, no enemies around, you crush them all. 

I surrendered myself, for you oh Lord, you are the one I’m running too. 

My faith is strong, and legs are too, for your strength you give, and endurance too. 

Oh it’s you my Lord I’m running too, I count the days, till I’m with you. 

I’m so sorry for before, I’m sorry I ran, I ran away from you. But your son redeemed, a path for me. 

So now I run, and tell them all, all who listen, which way to run. 

Your worth the run, and so run I shall. I will fight till my last breath, because you are the way the truth and the life. 

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Good Friday.

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Hey everyone. Join my podcast today. A Good Friday message.

The Arrow Preacher Podcast: Good Friday
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The Cost is High, But the Reward is Unimaginable. 

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The Cost is High, But the Reward is Unimaginable. 

Last night I heard an amazing sermon preached by a zealous man, for the Lord. It got me thinking about my life, and what I would do in the pursuit of Christ. What would I do if the going got tough? What would I do if God called me away from my family and friends? What would I do if it meant giving up everything, including my life. There are several examples in scripture, and by Jesus explaining what it means to give everything. See, God is not a priority on your list somewhere, he’s not the top of your list, he’s the one and only priority in our lives. When Jesus said in Luke 14:25-27 25 “Now great multitudes went with Him. And He turned and said to them, 26 “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. 27 And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.” He’s not actually telling you to hate anyone, but asking if you’ve counted the cost. You may be asked to leave them, to let them go, or as a Christian, you may be removed from the family. Are you willing to pay the cost? 

It’s an interesting question, and recently it seems God has continued to put this very thing at the forefront of everything I’ve been saying and doing. We in America don’t know what persecution looks like, and because of that, I believe we have become complacent to the word of God. I think we’ve chosen to sit back on our lazy boy pew’s and listen, but we do not take the word into our hardened hearts. We have failed Jesus as we are lukewarm. We are neither hot nor cold for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We have allowed the Devil to sneak in because we have not been vigilant to see the enemy moving. Sadly, the enemy is all around us, deeply intrenched in our schools, jobs, government, homes, and we have done nothing to stop it or prevent it. Satan has control over our colleges, shaping the minds of our children, and much like Nebuchadnezzar in the book of Daniel, they are manipulating young minds, brain washing them, and turning them against the church. And we do nothing. 

Most today do not go to church even once a week, yet claim the title of Christian. They do not know scripture, because their Bible hasn’t been picked up off the shelf in ages, if they even have one. They do not pray nor commune with the Father in any way. They wouldn’t know a counterfeit or the real Christian pastor, standing in front of them. How dare us wine and complain about what’s going on around us, when we have only ourselves to blame. When Israel would not repent of its wicked ways, God handed them over to their enemies. When we do not repent of our wicked ways, we are handed over to our own reprobate minds. 

We are corrupt and enemies of God. When we do not love God’s commands, and that means all of them, not picking and choosing which ones to follow, and not follow, we are showing God that we are sinful, immoral, lustful, selfish, unrighteous, and more. Paul explains in very clear cut terms, who will not inherit the kingdom of God in 1 Corinthians. 

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 “9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.”

There are words here that may put some off, and as I heard last night, that’s exactly what Jesus did. That’s exactly what John did. And the book of Jude. A vine to be trimmed. Chaff to be thrown away. The cost of following Christ is high, and in the midst of heavy persecution, Paul expresses to Follow Christ. During this time where he tells the church to be bold in Christ, Nero who was placing the blame of burning down half of Rome on Christians. He was feeding Christians to hungry dogs and lions. He was burning Christians alive as human torches lining the streets of Rome. 

Jesus tells his people to follow him. He bled and died, and if we are to pick up our cross, that means we may follow in his very footsteps. It may cost us our lives. As I heard it put last night, are you the real deal, or a fake, phony, and fraud? Do you love God, and his Son, and his children, and his commands? Most of us look at the commandments in scripture as guidelines. Similar to the pirate’s code. Not really set immutable rules, but more like the direction on a compass with a plus or minus a few degrees. The problem is, if you’re off by only a degree, you may hit your distance and never reach your destination. Heaven is that way. If you follow the false gospel, you may never hit your destination, oh you’ll hit a destination, but not where you wanted to go. 

Christianity is like that; Jesus tells us the path to Heaven is a narrow way. The problem is, when people think they are ‘following’ Christ, they really aren’t. There will be some who claim Christians, but much like Judas, are the antichrist sitting in the pews next to us. Or, are we one of them? As I heard the sermon last night, I left with both an encouraged, but also heavy heart. As I have grown in my faith, I have come to find what the narrow path truly means. When I look around, I have begun to wonder, how many are culturally Christian, and how many are the real in their heart, sacrificial Christian. 

So why do I bring this up? As a Christian, in my heart recently has been heavy for the lives of the lost. I have wondered what I could do to get the word out to more people. How can I get this blog to more people who need Jesus? How can I get my podcast to more people who do not know Jesus as the Christ? While I do not have answers to this currently, I am left with a simple prayer, God use me how you see fit, and forgive me of my sins and short comings. I want my actions and deeds to be pleasing to you, as a child only wants approval of their parent. I do not wish to upset or disappoint my Heavenly Father. I want to be useful and not a stumbling block for others. In my heart I feel disappointed when I feel I have laid out a solid message hoping it’s the Holy Spirit guiding me, and not me myself, but so few see it. I know God will work and if my writings are to be spread, it must be the will of the Father. I just pray I am being obedient, and relevant, and not delivering scripture poorly or incorrectly. 

What are you? Are you a true believer, or a fraud? Are you willing to sacrifice all for the Kingdom? Are you Judas sitting amongst the Apostles blending in? The message I heard last night really got me thinking, not about my own salvation, but if I’m doing enough, if I’m getting the word out there, if I’m bold enough, and unapologetic for Christ. Let us set our compasses to the North to follow Jesus. We ought not deviate from North because even a one degree off the Azimuth, at a mile is off by 92.2 feet. IF we are to follow Christ, while there is God’s grace, we must follow his message, and be zealous for his word. We must be faithful in our walk, loving his children, loving the father and not idols, or the world. We must love his word, desire to learn it, to know it, and most of all, to follow it. We should have a burning desire to get closer to God, and know him, and have a relationship with him. Scripture tells us what the cost of following Jesus is. Today there are many slight variations of what it means to follow Jesus. Variations on the gospel to look like the truth, and act like the truth, all except a couple small points. To follow Christ is to love ALL his commandments. To follow Christ is to give up everything that takes your eyes off the Father and the Kingdom. As an American I feel we are asleep at the wheel. Satan has crept in and taken over several vital institutions in our nation, and is now teaching things to children while the adults are so busy with work and other distractions, they don’t know. Our children are gone away at college and are being taught all kinds of theories which are false, and yet we stand by and wonder what happened to our once great nation. We have failed, and the punishment has been enacted, we have been turned over to our reprobate minds, and we must face the bitter consequences of giving an inch to sin. Most of us are no longer facing North towards Christ. We are off, being pulled away by the enemy or our own self-induced ignorance. Sadly, we don’t understand what it means to be on the narrow path. And many will be turned away from the Lord when he says: “I never knew you, depart from me, you who practice lawlessness.” Matthew 7:23 We should all take pause and understand the cost, and see if we are truly following or not. 

Are we zealous for the Lord? Are we burning with a desire to please him, to praise him, to worship him, to serve him? Or are we too enthralled at our own lives, and we don’t have time for God? If we are putting anything before God we are placing idols ahead of Him, and we are disobeying his commands. God, Gods Son, Gods People, the Love of the Commands. What were the two commands? Love God with your heart mind and soul. Love one another as yourselves. Scripture tells us Love covers a multitude of sins. When you don’t forgive, lose your temper, covet your neighbor’s new toy, get upset at that driver in front of you, judge someone by the color of their skin, or what they wear, grumble at church, gossip, hold a grudge, you are not loving one another. We need a wake-up call, and we need to check ourselves. Where are we? Are we at a 0 degree azimuth, or are we at a 1* or more off? An imitation gospel, no matter how close it is, is still a fake, a cheap knock off. How would we know? Read, and know, and understand scripture. Do not be deceived, there are Judas’s in the church today. Make sure you’re not one. 

Go in peace, love, mercy, and grace. Read scripture and open your heart to God’s Holy and Perfect Word. Be steadfast in the word, but share in love. 

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Where is YOUR Faith?

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Where is YOUR Faith?

Matthew 14:22-23

22 Immediately Jesus made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side, while He sent the multitudes away. 23 And when He had sent the multitudes away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. Now when evening came, He was alone there. 24 But the boat was now in the middle of the sea, tossed by the waves, for the wind was contrary.

25 Now in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. 26 And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out for fear.

27 But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.”

28 And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.”

29 So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. 30 But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!”

31 And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” 32 And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased.

33 Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Him, saying, “Truly You are the Son of God.”

We all go through stuff in life. We all face demons, sickness, fears, disappointments, persecutions, loss, heartache, and more. We each have a choice in our lives, to follow Christ, or not to follow Christ. For many there is a feeling in their souls that something is wrong with the world, and they have a calling, they just don’t know what it is. Not everyone will feel this calling, and some will be led to seek and destroy those who do. When we look at the story of the Storm, and Jesus walking on water, yes it’s miraculous that Jesus has control over space, time, matter, energy, and the laws of physics. As creator of everything, those things are quite understandable. The story, in my not so professional opinion, is actually about faith. Peter, very much afraid, sees the Christ, and hearing the voice of the shepherd knows it’s Christ, but sadly, lets his fear get in the way. ‘IF it is you.” Is what he says. How often do we doubt like Peter? How often do we question and ignore the voice of our Lord, Savior, Creator, Redeemer?  Jesus replies with an amazing and terrifying test of faith. Peters’ faith was already doubting since he didn’t believe it was Jesus at first. So now, Jesus is bringing forth a tremendous act, “Trust me.” Jesus is telling Peter, and in Me (Jesus) you can do anything. For the moment Peter was in faith, he was obedient, and suddenly, lost focus on the Lord, and began to sink. Jesus reaches down, and rescues Peter. Without hesitation, Jesus rebukes Peter, you who have such little faith. Why did you doubt? 

The truth is, Peter represents all of us in life. Many Christians today, are A: not true Christians, but Christian only by name. Most people who say they are Christian, do so because of family ties, upbringing, or living in a socially Christian community. This does not mean they have a personal relationship with God, and most certainly means God the Father does not know them on a personal level. This doesn’t mean there is not that calling upon their lives. Many Christians are in fact like Thomas. Doubting, and questioning till the very end. They need proof. To those Christians I say, the proof is there, just follow the evidence, and see for yourself, it all points to Jesus as the Christ. 

But let us return to the faith of Peter. I have been going through a lot recently, and I have seen others around me go through a lot. It’s not an easy thing navigating this life sometimes. The Devil and his myriad of demons, attack us every day. We face temptations, and questions, situations, and thoughts, sensory inputs, of every kind. Today with the invention of the internet, television, endless supplies of shows and movies, music, and news, we are bombarded with societies inputs, and sad to say, that input is not one of Jesus Christ, but of the enemy. Paul warns Timothy to keep the faith and fight the good fight. Paul warns the church at Ephesus to hold fast, and wear the Armor of God. Withstand the attacks of the Devil, and stand their ground. We too must heed that advice and the warnings. For many of us, we are in the midst of the hurricane as we speak. 

I don’t usually get super personal, but scripture calls us to bare one another’s burdens, and sometimes it’s good to know we aren’t alone in the fight. Recently I have been struggling with some deep physical pain. The pain I have experienced has kept me in bed for more than a day at a time. On days like that, I do very little. I am unable to do much when the pain levels get that high, and even the medication I have, the stretching, foam rolling, and rest, all seem to fall short. As a man in my 40’s, I find it hard to manage, not the pain itself, but the emotional, and mental drain this kind of Chronic pain leaves behind. On top of the pain I feel, I have concerns within my immediate family that takes my attention. I have friends suffering. I see the state of my country and I weep for it. I live in a place that I no longer recognize. A place where much like the fires and darkness of Mordor in Lord of The Rings, is spreading across Middle Earth. Here too, the darkness in spreading in my very country and I am powerless to stop it. Oh, I try, I try by writing this blog, I try by preaching and teaching on my podcast, helping my community, and not keeping my faith to myself. All I can do is pray, and have faith. 

Having faith in the storm is perhaps the hardest thing a Christian can do. Like Christ said, build your house upon the rock and it’ll withstand the storm. Build it upon the sand, and watch it crumble. I have seen my faith crumble, and my world around it, as it was built upon the sand. I know what it’s like to be Peter on the water, and get scared, and begin to fall into the dark abyss of the sea. Not in a literal term of course, but in an emotional sense. In order to withstand the storm, and not sink into the water, not have the house crumble into the sea, we must realize it isn’t of our own strength, or our own ability to fight the war. Truly Truly I say to you, it is faith that wins over the darkness. Jesus walking on water is amazing, but what Jesus asks of Peter is not to trust in his all-powerful being, that controls the weather and physics, but to just have faith in Him. That faith, is where it all must start. Your faith is the foundation in which Christ builds upon in your life. If your faith is weak, your life will crumble when the right storm hits. 

Peter will one day find his courage, much like Peregrin Took from Lord of The Rigs, “Do not fear, young Peregrin Took, you shall find your courage.” (LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring) When Peter finds his courage, he is no longer afraid to speak out for Christ. He is no longer afraid to face death. He is no longer afraid to face the storm. He becomes bold, and firm, and even stands up to the mighty and influential Sanhedrin, “We will not be silenced, and will not stop talking about Jesus.” He tells them Acts 4:18-21 18 “So they called them and commanded them not to speak at all nor teach in the name of Jesus. 19 But Peter and John answered and said to them, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you more than to God, you judge. 20 For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard.” 21 So when they had further threatened them, they let them go, finding no way of punishing them, because of the people, since they all glorified God for what had been done.”

Peter went from afraid of the waves, to denying Christ, to eventually being martyred upside down on the cross for Christ. We must find our courage to stand bold on the word of God, and without compromising it, without changing it, share the Gospel with love and gentleness. We are to be bold in our faith, strong in courage, and resist the darkness circling round. Our lives must be built around our faith, and that faith will be tested. We’ve begun seeing signs of a new age of persecution rising up in the world, and some very close to home. Christianity will be the focus of much debate in the coming time. I fear persecution will one day reach these shores like that of old, as we have entered a time of weakness among men. For many of us in the midst of the storm in our lives, I daresay, we have not yet seen what a true storm is. If I put it in hurricane status, most of us at most have ever seen a category 4 hurricane. Without the threat of death for your faith, hiding, never wondering when the government will come and take you from home, I would say a low Cat 4 at worst. Illness, war, divorce, substance, are all bad, but not being put on a post, dowsed in oil, and lit on fire bad. Or thrown into a colosseum and forced to fight off lions and tigers and other Apex predators bad. No, we have not yet witnessed storms of that magnitude, but when the day comes, if the day comes within our lives, we must dig deep and have the faith to stand firm. 

Paul on the ship in the storm had great faith in Jesus to see them through. He had been given word on what to do to survive the storm, and while in the end, the entire ship was lost, trust in Paul, and Paul trusting and having faith in the Lord, all hands survived the shipwreck after a 14-day storm lost at sea. Paul’s faith is not seen to have waivered in the midst of the storm. Paul’s faith inspired the men around him, and even the unbelievers on the ship, saw the Holy and mighty power of God at work in Paul. 

Our faith may be tested and in that testing we will grow or fall. The strong in faith shall push through, and the seeds that grow in the shallow dirt shall burn away under the heat of the sun. Since the complete fracture of my foundation in 2016, I have come to have a stronger platform than I ever had before. I was weak in my faith and the world, the prince of the power of the air, came down upon me with full force, and I broke. Just because we break doesn’t mean we’re out of the fight. Sometimes it’s in our brokenness Jesus will pick up the pieces, and rebuild us in his Image. He picks us up, and that longing, that tiny ember inside us that has always set us apart from the world, is ignited by Jesus. That calling is turned into something more, and we find what we were missing all along was Christ Jesus in our lives. Not the cursory view of Christ, but the real relationship with him. Christians are forged in the fires of this world. The demons attack us relentlessly stoking the fire in which steel is forged into blades of magnificent might. The sword, the weapon in which a Christian will both wield for attack, and to defend one’s faith. We must grow our faith by knowing and trusting God’s word. We must hone our faith by training, and practicing our mind with the scripture of God. We don’t have Jesus with us in the flesh, but we have his Word left for us to read, to study, to place into our hearts so we may not sin against him. We have the Holy Spirit dwelling within us, and that friends, is true power. Not power of our own, but God with Us. The storms come and though you may not be in one right now, the day will come when you are. You have to have strong faith, deep rooted faith, so the storm won’t easily topple the tree, or break the foundation of your house. 

Eye of the Storm, By Ryan Stevenson: 

In the eye of the storm

You remain in control

And in the middle of the war

You guard my soul

You alone are the anchor

When my sails are torn

Your love surrounds me

In the eye of the storm

No matter how bad the storm gets, even if the storm is to take your life, have faith in Jesus, for the worst thing that can happen is the world takes your body, but it cannot take your soul. None of us can add one single day by worrying. None of us can add one day to our Holy Devine Destiny. God the Father is in complete control, and when you are in his hands, no one can pluck you from his grip. We must have faith to step out of the boat, but never lose sight of Jesus. We must have him in our focus at all times. Whether we eat, or drink, whatever we do, do in the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31. Peter fell the moment he looked at the world, and not Christ. Peter was rebuked for his poor faith. We need to learn from Peter, and faith from Paul, and the love of Christ like Mary, who wiped Jesus’ feet with her hair and oils (John 12:3). Let us not be Christians in name alone, but true followers of Christ. Let us not be one of those who in John 6:66 followed him no more. Let us not be a journeyman on the path to destruction, but that of the narrow way to the Father. Let us have faith like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego to face the fiery furnace in the book of Daniel. Let us have courage like David to stand firm when the enemies are at in front of us. Not because of our own power, but we know the Power of Christ. We know what he has done, what he will do, and it is not for our sake, but for his Glory alone. We are dead in our sins, and if the lions take our lives, all the faster we unite with Jesus in Heaven. Do not fear the storm, for each of us has a date with death, and none can prolong our time by one minute if it be the Fathers will. Let us let go of our fear, let us let go of the worry, and doubts. Let us put our sights upon the one true King, and Lord of lords, and trust in Him with our whole heart, the priority of our lives, and let us merely stand firm in our faith, while HE fights the war. Let us be the strong, courageous, zealous warriors we are called to be, but put our whole faith, in Christ. 

Go in Peace, and Love, Sharing the Gospel and Making Disciples of all the Nations. 

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Death and Life

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Death and Life:

Genesis 3: 16-19

16 To the woman He said:

“I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception;

In pain you shall bring forth children;

Your desire shall be [e]for your husband,

And he shall rule over you.”

17 Then to Adam He said, “Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it’:

“Cursed is the ground for your sake;

In toil you shall eat of it

All the days of your life.

18 Both thorns and thistles it shall [f]bring forth for you,

And you shall eat the herb of the field.

19 In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread

Till you return to the ground,

For out of it you were taken;

For dust you are,

And to dust you shall return.”

We are born, and if we are blessed enough, we may live 100 years. The life we are given is a gift, and it’s often filled with stories of love, success, tragedy and failure. As I lay in bed this morning, I looked at my hands. I noticed the small changes where a few more wrinkles have appeared. Time it seems, is catching up to me. Life truly is a gift, a time we can make choices, and those choices lead us to situations, and further choices, and so on. Some of our choices, lead us to wonderful experiences, marriage, children, beautiful landscapes. And sadly, sometimes our choices lead us to substance abuse, homelessness, broken marriages, or circumstances out of our control place us on a bridge, that’s hit by a cargo ship, and the end comes. For dust we are, and dust we shall return. Tragedy may strike at any moment. 

For believers, we know that when the end comes, our time here is over. It does not matter what we had planned, or left on our bucket list. When the Lord calls us home, no amount of money, or fame, or power, will stop that from happening. The end comes for all believers and non-believers alike. 

Having had several close calls in my life, a very, very near-death experiences, I am all too familiar with the term, ‘life flashed before my eyes’. As I have tasted the bitterness of death, I have of course not died, but for some reason, yet to be revealed to me, I was spared from death. Sadly, in my life I have known many, who have not escaped death. Death for a believer is not something to fear, but for those left behind, it’s a bittersweet. For those who do not believe, death may be devastating, meaningless, and can often crush a person to a point where they are no longer recognized by friends and family. 

Jesus tells us that he is building and preparing mansions for us in Heaven. He reassures us that if it were not so, he would not tell us. This gives the believer hope that death is merely a transition. Revelation tells us that in paradise, in Heaven, there is no more sorrow, no tears. I am reminded of what is known as the shortest verse in scripture, ‘Jesus Wept’ John 11:35. Jesus here is seen weeping. While it is likely true that he weeps for his friend, I believe it is much deeper than this. Why would Jesus weep for his fallen friend, knowing he was about to bring him back to life? Jesus here weeps because of death itself. He weeps for the sorrow death causes to loved ones. He weeps for the fallen man, brought in sin, and those who would not ever come to know him, but suffer death over and over again. Jesus wept also because he mourns with those who morn. Lazarus would rise from the sleep he was in, to show the world the power of God, but would ultimately die again. Put yourself in the shoes of Lazarus for a moment. You’ve just died, were buried for four days, and now you’ve been brought back. First, we know what Jesus says in John 11:25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. 26 And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?”. Lazarus is given a rare opportunity, to postpone death, and continue on with life. How precious is the gift of life, and how priceless is our time. Of all people, Lazarus would know. But he’s not alone. 

As I have taken a quick glance this week, I saw a tragedy out of the Philippines where a bus and a truck collided head on. There was a survivor, but for whatever reason, no one was either able or willing to approach the person to get them away from the burning vehicle. And of course, at 0130hrs this morning, a cargo ship collided with the Francis Scott key bridge. Death comes sometimes when we least expect it. I have learned over the years, having seen this happen close to my own life, that we must cherish the time we are given. Sadly, I see people around me don’t share the same passion as I do. I have come to realize the people in my orbit are probably sick and tired of me. On average I send out 15-30 messages a day, checking on people. I share a post, or ask how they are doing. I do not say this to grant sorrow, or sympathy for me, but merely show that time here and what we do is relevant. Out of those 15-30 messages, if I’m lucky I may receive one or two messages in reply. Most don’t reply at all, even days to weeks later. Some may ask why I still message them, day after day, or at least weekly, and the answer is simple, obedience. With this fast-paced world, it’s important that we know people are there for us. While communication has made the world smaller, it’s also made us more isolated than ever in human history. When texting first started, I can remember talking to 4-5 people at the same time. People were genuinely interested in keeping in touch with others. I can remember being on the phone with people for hours. I can remember when Facebook and Myspace were new, I would get random posts on my wall. Now today, I don’t receive phone calls, texts, or even views on my podcast, by friends, albeit a small few. How we have changed as a culture, and a society, where the friendships we once held in such high regard have passed into distant memory. And for what? 

It’s often said that the one regret from the death bed is not taking more time to spend with loved ones. Why is it we have to be dying to figure that out? Why is it, someone has to die for us to think it important to take the time to spend with people we care about? Sometimes I feel like I’m on an island alone in this revelation. I cannot be the only one that knows Psalm 90:12 “So teach us to number our days, That we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Our days are numbered from before the earth was formed. Each of us has an expiration stamped on our foreheads the day we were conceived in the womb. And yet we carry on like we have all the time in the world. How dare us squander the gift we’ve been given. WE ought to know better by now, but sadly we are stubborn and never learn. James 4:13-14 13 “Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; 14 whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” We are told and warned in scripture, and we see it happening in our lives every day, but we still either in our negligence, or conscience decision, choose to forgo friendships, and family, as we get ‘too busy’, to spend 15 seconds to reply to a text, make a phone call, post on a wall, or have dinner with anyone other than your immediate circle. 

We should take the events of this morning as a reminder that while we still draw breath, we have a choice of what’s important. While living life brings obligations, sports for kids, meetings, and many other things, we should not forget that while those things do exist and are important, nothing is more important than the connections in our lives. As Scotty said “Well, like you always say, if something’s important, you make the time.” (Star Trek: Generations) How important are the relationships in your life today? Are they important enough to send a text to that friend you’ve neglected for far too long? Are they important enough to schedule a dinner and spend quality time together? Or that family member that’s been long removed from thought? Let us not neglect, not just the assembly of church, but the assembly of family and friends also. No one can get through this life alone, and we have allowed ourselves to isolate and be influenced that all the junk is more important than loved ones. It’s not too late to send that text, or make the phone call. Let us use the time we have to lift up one another, to bare one another’s burdens. Let us sharpen one another, and edify one another. A moment of kindness is free, it costs us nothing. Let us love on one another, support one another in their (godly) endeavors. Let us remember to take a few minutes a day and be there for one another. Let us not wait till it’s too late, and then we are filled with regret and grief for not acting sooner. Today is a gift, and tomorrow is not promised. 

Go in peace, and love, and may God bless your path. 

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We needed a Hero 

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We needed a Hero: 

As we approach Good Friday, I often think of the horror that unfolded for the few Apostles and Marry Magdalene, and Jesus’s mother Mary. Most of the Apostles fled once Jesus was arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane. Afraid of what may happen to them, they did not stick around to see the wrath of God poured out on their savior. Indeed, while they all redeemed themselves (minus Judas) they were nearly all cowards. Having just watched their savior enter the Holy City by way of a donkey, and palms lining the road, how quickly they changed their tune when the Roman guard put Christ in chains. Can you imagine the hurt they must of felt watching their beloved Jesus go through what he did? Seeing his face beaten and bloodied, his near naked body paraded around torn to shreds. How awful and traumatic it must have been for them. 

These last few weeks have been a difficult road for sure. Recently my doctor changed some medications around and adding a new one, it has helped with the chronic pain, but comes at a steep price, I’m tired often. Even with the new med, I still have what they call break through pain. Today for instance, I have been in bed most of the day waiting for the meds to help. It’s not easy when pain puts you in bed all day. For those who don’t know me personally, let me explain. While in the military I served in a combat zone. I was a member of a platoon that pushed hard, fought hard, and was always on mission. I experienced actual combat, and loss. The problem came from the sometimes 12 plus hours or more of wearing my Kevlar helmet. I often slept with it on in the truck, slept with it as a pillow, and of course wore it all the time on mission. Between that and the constant combative’s training, when I was getting out of the military for a different injury, we found my neck was a little screwed up. Sadly the VA denied my neck claim, and I was left with no treatment for many years. By the time I bulged a disc, the damage was done. Very little could be done to reverse the problem, and it would continue to get worse, through a disc rupture, and continuing on till this very day. Pain today is a part of my life, one I live through, and with. When I think of pain though, I can’t help but think of Paul, or Job. 

I was watching a documentary recently and one thing struck me, a sentence used, ‘You cannot have resurrection, without crucifixion’ (The insanity of God). There is not two churches, the persecuted church, and the non-persecuted church. While persecution looks different everywhere you go, the church as a whole is persecuted. Here in America, we are merely called names, sometimes we are picked on at school, even censured at work. We are not however, dying for our faith. While I firmly believe we will be persecuted in due time, the level of our persecution is not yet of China, or India, or Africa. Years ago I watched a difficult movie with Bruce Willis called ‘Tears of the Sun’. This movies premise is a group of Islam extremist are moving towards a village where there are American civilians working as missionaries. A priest, a doctor, and a few nuns. There’s a scene in the movie where the Navy Seals come to a town recently attacked by the rebels. Women were mutilated, assaulted, men, and children killed. All for being Christian. The scene was accurate to what real Christians face in such areas of the world. Watching the documentary and seeing Christians beaten, killed, imprisoned for their faith only strengthened the discussion for the nature of our sinful world. 

Someone asked me recently where is God when 15,000 children die each day of starvation. While it is heart breaking to see such things happen, it is explained in Holy Scripture, the fallen world, a result of sin, is a world of darkness. God’s plan since the fall of man has always been to redeem us. God gave us His son to redeem our sins and clothe us in his righteousness, but also gave the world his redeemed children. His redeemed children, Christians, would be the hands and feet of the Lord. While we don’t always do this well, just as Israel didn’t always do it well, we are the ones who reflect his light in the world. Christians worldwide come together to participate in many programs. Let’s take a look at one, the Samaritans Purse (SP). This organization does Disaster Relief, Operation Christmas Child, Operation Heal Our Patriots, and World Medical Mission. SP provides a great deal of aid all around the world, and often in very short periods of time. One organization cannot fix all the world’s problems, but when Christians come together for a single purpose, it’s quite amazing what can be accomplished. The SP is one of many organizations that takes the light of Christ and spreads it throughout the world. 

We see that we live in a fallen world, and as time goes by, we notice it seems to be getting darker. This is not a surprise as more and more people reject Jesus Christ, “The Way, the Truth, and the Life.” The draw of a sinful world, the lust of the flesh, is a powerful one. Satan’s grip on the world is tight, but not all inclusive. Christians are often at the heart of the inclusivity conversation, since by its very nature, and Christianity being the antithesis of the world, Christians cannot be included into an inclusive world, when Christians are not welcome in the world. Even though Christians are not welcomed in the world, and even when the work of a Christian can in many places, lead to their death, we still see Christians putting it on the line daily. So why is this? We have starving kids in Africa, but Christians who try to bring light to the dark world, are murdered for their faith, when they are trying to better a situation. Christ laid down his life freely for us, so we would have the opportunity to look upon him and believe. We Christians want the same for the world around us. We have joy even when being beaten, imprisoned, and killed. What a pleasure it is to die for one’s faith. There is a special place in heaven for those who give up their lives for the Lord. Christians try to provide aid where it is needed. I myself have participated in Operation Christmas Child, and have heard testimony of those who have received the gift packaged from across the world. The churches job is to take care of the orphans, the widows, the poor. Most churches today are too small to do anything on a large scale, but I would hope most churches are doing something to help. 

God calls us each to do something within our own power and means. We are to be servants and that means we must serve our families, our churches, but very importantly, our communities. We send missionaries into dangerous places, and all over the globe to help where it is needed. A warzone, a disaster zone, a place of poverty, or a place of complete governmental control. NO matter where there is a need, missions are there. Christians do the work of God, and God not solely relying on his people is always working in those places. There are reports of non-Christians having visions of Jesus, leading them to piece together information about who he was, so they could know him. People who had never known anything about him, and like Paul, Jesus comes to them, so they may serve. God is in fact doing something, and is using his people. 

We all suffer in this world, financially, physically, mentally, we all face hardships. We are called as Christians to live in the world, but not to conform to the world. When Jesus faced hardships, having no place to lay his head, or very little money, and ultimately, he would be betrayed, beaten, flogged, brutally scourged, spit on, humiliated, hung on a cross, and died, he who knew no sin, so we may be reconciled to the Father. We needed a Hero, someone to save us from ourselves. Jesus came to do that. Not to bring forth an Earthly Kingdom, but to give us access to His Spiritual Kingdom.

Soon we will celebrate Easter, but in order to get to Easter we have to endure the worst, most tragic day in all of human history. Nothing surpasses the tragedy of the day Christ was crucified on the cross for our sins. Not even the Holocaust was as impactful as the day Jesus died for our sins. We see people dying today of starvation, and war, violence, and illness, but for those who have hope in Christ, all of that is temporary. God sent us to work, to go on mission, to serve our communities. What are we doing in the service of the Lord? When we look to the Cross and see it empty, do we see the blood spilt on it for us? When we look to the Tomb, empty, do we see the redeeming power of Jesus to overcome death? Or do we look to Easter as a cute holiday full of bunnies and eggs? While we do suffer in this life, we do not suffer in vain. We have hope in Christ, because Christ isn’t in the tomb. Take joy in the sufferings of this world, for they bring perseverance, and character. Let us look East at the sunrise on that third day, and know that Jesus will one day return, and all will be made right. He will come back to judge the living and the dead, and will, with righteous judgment, judge those who were obstinate to his will. One day Christ will return and every knee shall bow, and every tongue shall confess, and they shall call him Lord. Even the demons know Christ was the Son of God, they just don’t follow him. Have you chosen to let God into your heart? Have you chosen to let Jesus be a part of your life? To repent of your sins, knowing they are a death sentence? 

Salvation comes by trusting in Jesus, having faith in him, and repenting of your sins. Being a Christian isn’t being better than anyone else, it’s being redeemed by the blood. Being a Christian, we should be evermore aware of our sins, and do everything we can to put away that sin with all malice, and to serve a Holy and Righteous, Loving, and Merciful God. How are we serving him today? Are we truly giving him everything? Are we working to grow the kingdom? Or are we keeping our witness, the good news of Christ hidden, in fear of what the world may say? “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but from His hands you’ll never be taken” (Arrow Preacher). Go in faith, and love, go with reverence to our Lord. Serve him in all we do. No matter the hurt, the pain, the sorrow, do not lose faith, or hope. The Lord our God is on the throne and nothing that happens here will change that. This life is but a vaper, one day we will have no more tears, no more pain. Look to the East, the Sun still rises, as the Son rose and will return. 

For more, follow me on Youtube Arrow Preacher. Live broadcasts on Mondays and most Fridays. 

Mondays we are going through the book of John. 

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Shame

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Shame: 

Sometimes things come up in our life that takes us back to a darker time. Sometimes we are swallowed up in our shame, and when we think that shame is long behind us, Satan can bring it back unexpectedly. 

Spiritual warfare gives us questions we don’t always have answers for. Satan will use any and all things at his disposal to attack a Christian. The deceiver will use lies, partial truths, people, things, temptations, wealth, power, sex, all in the disguise of his true intentions, and that’s to destroy the life and walk, and witness of a Christian. “My hope is that when I die, all of hell rejoices that I am out of the fight” (C.S. Lewis). We live with a target upon our faces, the mark of a Christian. 

When we are taken back to the days of old, when something from our past comes back, how do we manage? How do we face the darkness that fills up inside us? The darkness can feel suffocating, like a small cage, when the walls feel like they are closing in. Spiritual warfare can come at any time. Satan’s attacks can bring us to our knees. Battles are often depicted in movies as grand spectacles. Two movies in particular had fantastic visual battles. ‘Lord Of The Rings Two Towers’, and ‘Braveheart’. The battles are hard, bloody, and not without casualties. While these are fantastic renditions of a battle, it does not really depict the solitary fight of one person. Another film I think of is the allegory of John Bunyan’s ‘Pilgrims Progress’. We see Christian fighting Satan. Sword and shield in hand repelling his attacks. Christian, barely able to stand, draws strength of God, and temporarily repels Satan’s attack. He is bruised, battered, exhausted, and barely able to move, yet, he never gave up. Today, we are attacked in the same way, but instead of it being a physical battle, Christian’s battle is allegory for the spiritual battle we face. 

The song ‘Voice of Truth’ says this, 

But the waves are calling out my name

And they laugh at me

Reminding me of all the times

I’ve tried before and failed

The waves they keep on telling me

Time and time again. “Boy, you’ll never win!”

“You’ll never win!”

… 

But the giant’s calling out my name

And he laughs at me

Reminding me of all the times

I’ve tried before and failed

The giant keeps on telling me

Time and time again. “Boy you’ll never win!”

“You’ll never win!”

Thankfully, while these are the lies Satan tells us, whispering in our ear, we know he does not speak for us. He does not fight for us; he does not tell us truth. Satan’s lies are designed for one thing, to destroy.

When I was in Iraq one of my many missions was to seek and capture or kill enemy combatants, and leaders of the enemy movement. While I do not know the exact number of arrest my platoon made, or even the number of attacks we stopped, I know that our fight was against an enemy that didn’t care about our beliefs, where we came from, those we helped, the outreach missions we accomplished, they wanted us dead. The scouts were targeted enemies specifically and they wanted us dead more than the others. Our banner flown was a target. When we are a Christian, our banner is raised high and proud, and Satan wants us dead and destroyed, more than any others. Are we a threat to Satan’s dominion by the way we talk about and preach the gospel? 

Difficult as it is, we must let our shame go, not holding on to it. We must not allow Satan to use these things, bringing us down. We cannot hold on to things for Satan to use them as weapons against us. We must wipe away the tears of the past and move forward with strength and purpose. We must not hold on to the failings or trauma of yesterday, because God doesn’t. When Jesus forgives us of our repentant sin, it is wiped away, covered white as now.

Isaiah 43:25 25 “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake;

And I will not remember your sins.”

Colossians 2:13-14 13 “And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses, 14 having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.”

Hebrews 8:12 12 “For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.”

IF God does not keep our transgression, we should not hold onto the guilt and shame of yesterday either. Let us not look back, but forward. ‘Progress not perfection.’ We will never be perfect this side of glory, and we cannot expect to find perfection here. While sin should bring us to our knees in our born-again conscience, we need to seek forgiveness, and repentance of that sin, but not allow it to crush us. Like Christian in Pilgrims Progress, when his sin is lifted off his back, we should not try to pick it back up and place it upon our backs. Let the sin fall away in the forgiveness of Christ’s blood, and let us keep moving along, doing a little better each and every day. Let us keep fighting the good fight, and stay strong, even when it’s raining down upon us. Let us see our sins washed away by the blood. God forgives us of our sins, let us forgive ourselves. What we place at the feet of Jesus, let us not pick up again. When we place our struggles, and shame, sins, and regret, let us never pick them up. 

I have often struggled with this. Having felt shame my entire childhood for things out of my control. As I wrestled with bullying of both my family status, and my physical appearance. This led to physical attacks upon me, targeted confrontations of my things being thrown into occupied urinals, swirleys (getting your head dunked in a toilet), beatings, being robbed, and insults. I was often afraid to walk alone from the bus stop because of these kinds of events. I became scared to ride the bus, or walk in the hallways at school. I was afraid to change in the locker room at school. I was afraid to sleep at night in fear of what may happen in my sleep. Fear gripped me tight and for many years, would not let go. I could not look at myself in the mirror without feeling shame, and disgust. I could not at the time, ever see my life filled with any kind of love, or joy for life. As a child, Satan had taken that from me. 

Today I live a life of service for the Lord. This brings attacks of a different nature. While I am still uncomfortable in my own skin, I no longer have a spirit of fear. That’s not to say I don’t still struggle with other areas of my confidence, and at times the deceiver reminds me of my former shame. I am human, and I wrestle with the flesh nature. Let us remember the spirit we are given of love, and courage, and joy in the risen Lord Jesus Christ. Let us look upon Christ in glorious hope that this world is but a fleeting moment, and eternity of praise and worship await us. Have faith my brothers and sisters in Christ. Have hope and do not despair my brethren. Let us put the past behind us, and continue to look towards the East. Our risen Lord shall return someday, and when we does, let us be ready. 

The Burdens

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The Burdens

We all have our burdens. Some people will face burdens of the external kind, people, or things in their life. Some will face those from within, pain, or sickness. The challenge recently for me has been the internal. It’s been days now of pain in the 6-7 range. With only brief moments of relief, it’s easy to say, fatigue can set in. With fatigue comes the spiritual attacks. Whether it be thoughts brought on by the sin nature that dwells within, or the devil whispering in my ear, the struggle is real. 

I am reminded of Paul, who in an encouraging statement said he prayed three times to have a thorn in his side removed. God denied his request. Paul’s answer in 2 Corinthians 12:10 “Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” God’s answer to Paul is “My grace is sufficient.” Do we have this mindset when we are going through something? Do we seek God first to remove our torment, and if he says no, do we settle in and take joy in those infirmities, persecutions, and hardships? 

Being in constant, chronic pain is not easy. It brings fatigue, irritability, frustration, and in many cases it can bring depression, and hopelessness. Despite the struggle, I find myself turning to God. While the sharks smell blood in the water, in my low points, I will not let the deep drag me down. 

There have been many great men who have endured years of hardships, so I may have the opportunity to do the same. Some comes in the way of persecution, but regardless, my Savior and King Jesus Christ was beaten, scourged, battered, a crown of thorns placed upon his head, and placed isn’t a strong enough word, crushed down upon his head, forcing the thorns to dig into his flesh, tearing it along the way, causing profuse bleeding into his face. My savior had flesh ripped down into the very sinews of his muscles. He was placed on a cross in which he had to raise himself up with a spike driven through his feet, and his torn open back scraping along the wood plank, just to breathe. He came to bare that burden for us. Not for all, but for the ones who accept his gift. What kind of character does it take to die for your enemy? What is our example? This, to lay down one’s life for someone who hates you, spit on you, just for the chance they may see their wicked ways changed, and follow you. Jesus knew that not everyone would follow him. In fact, he knew that few would choose to truly lay down the world, and pick up their own cross. 

The walk of a Christian is one of struggle, hardships, and battles. God gave us the command to be the church, and commands to the church on how to act, what to be. We as Christians are given the command to lay down our burdens at the foot of the cross. We are to lay them down at the feet of Jesus and let him be God and to let us trust in Him. While some burdens, like sickness may not go away, the pain may not go away, the renewing of strength may be given to us. Nights like today, I feel the need to feel his presence. I feel the need to cry out to the Lord to be with me tonight. I feel myself growing tired and in need of rest. The attacks of the devil start to swirl around me and in my own military mind, I request danger close call for fire. I cannot fight the fight against the demons circling round alone, but I know Jesus won’t let me fight alone. 

My hurt will never go away. My skeletal neck injuries will remain until I have reconstructive surgery. While I know my pain won’t be going anywhere, it’s not the pain I ask for healing for, but the renewal of my spirit. I don’t need the burden I’ve been given removed, only help to bare it. I have accepted my fate; I just need help getting up and fighting the good fight every day. I cannot do this without my Lord and Savior Jesus. My heart is heavy for the burden I create for my loved ones. Those who take care of me when I cannot get out of bed. Those who make a meal when I hurt too much to cook. To those who comfort me in my time of need. 

God has blessed me, and his will is perfect, and sovereign. All we can do is, no matter what we go through, is to tell the world Jesus. This dark world needs the light of Christ. The great rejection of Jesus is real today, and we need to stand firm on our faith. We worship not because we are healed, but in spite of not being healed, knowing Jesus is Lord. I know one day this broken shell will be remade. I know in one day I will be accepted into glory and this body will not hurt anymore. I know that day will be all the sweater, knowing I suffered for it. 

We may not be able to change our circumstances, but we can change our perspective. We may not be able to take away our pain and struggle, but we can embrace it, to build His kingdom. Let us look different when the world looks down upon us. Let us be so different it bewilders the unbeliever how we can have so much joy in the midst of so much pain. Let us praise our Jesus in the darkest of nights. And when the world hurts us, when the world spits on us, let us remember, 

“Father, give me grace to forgive them, for I feel like I’m the one loosing.” (Losing, By: Tenth Avenue North) 

No matter where you are in your walk, remember if you start to stray, remember, you’re one step away. Jesus is with you, waiting for you to accept him. His love has been with you, and you’ve never been alone. God’s grace and mercy show us, that no matter if you were a tax collector, or a murderer of the innocent, God’s grace is infinite. God’s mercy can transform hearts, and change even the most brutal of people. We are sinners, enemies of God and we’re saved by His grace. We are saved in Faith, and all we must do is repent of our sins, and let Jesus into our hearts, changing us, and becoming something new. Lay down those old rags, and pick up the cloth of a child of the King. Let Jesus break those old chains that bound you to your sin, and free you from that burden. Look to the empty tomb and know he is risen. The cross is empty, Jesus finished the work so we may live, so let us live for Him. 

Go in pace and continue to Love one Another. 

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20 Years Later 

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20 Years Later: 

This year the heaviness is greater than that of the recent years. I’m amazed at how deeply emotions can run within us. Since my incident in 2016, and all the subsequent therapy that came after it, I am far more aware of the emotions inside. I can cry at a moment’s notice. I can feel deeply, and feel badly for someone, even connect to the emotions within a show or song. Sometimes it feels like when we were ‘fixing’ me, we may have overdone it a bit in the emotions department. Like turning the dial a bit too far. 

Over the last few days I have found some of the little things have been affecting me more than maybe they should. I have relationships in my life that I feel deeply about and worrying about their soul, crying when no one’s looking, hoping they know Christ. I have wondered what I’m fighting for. I have wondered what I survived for. I have wondered what we fought for. Why did God spare me, but not my friends. Why did those RPG’s miss my truck? Why did the IED’s not disabled the truck and make us easier to kill. Why did the bullet not take my life, but my friends are gone. Why am I here, but my friend doesn’t see his nephew and nieces? Why was I spared, but not them? Why am I writing this, when my friend doesn’t see his son grow up to be a wonderful man? 

All four men left families behind. Loved ones. I have gone over that day so many times. I have remembered it, the details, the sight, sounds, smells, the feelings. It is more vivid, more detailed, more real when this dreadful day comes around. Today I have loved ones in my life that support me, love me, and all I can do is thank God for the time I have been given. I look to my life and know it isn’t deserved. I know I have fallen, and failed more times than I can count, yet God’s grace and mercy are with me. That’s the thing about his mercy, and grace, they aren’t deserved, or earned. We should never be given such blessings, but the thing about God, he’s also love. 

I figured out a long time ago I would never be able to earn my way into God’s graces. I would never feel like I deserved it, and in fact, I would often look to my life asking why God would spend so much time on a wretched sinner like myself. I do not know my purpose, or why God has spared my life so many times, but all I can do is live. I can live and carry those memories with me, and sharing their story. All I can do is carry the memory with me and keep them in my heart. Freedom here is never free, it’s paid for in blood, and sadly, most will never know the depth of sacrifice it has taken for the freedoms of this country. 

Scripture tells us in John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” Jesus showed us what it means to love. Jesus’s actions and forgiveness laid the foundation of what our lives should look like. We love one another, but the way we love is a poor replica of the love given to us by God. We abuse the word love, and we misuse the love we share to others. The service rendered to this country comes at a cost. I heard recently “soldiering isn’t easy on the body.” For some, it’s the end of all things in this world. 

For me, soldiering has left me in Chronic pain, sometimes bad enough to keep me in bed all day. One memory I will forever take with me is that of women being allowed to vote for the first time in Iraq. Was it worth it? What’s the price tag for giving freedoms to someone? What’s the going rate for offering people a chance to write their own course? Sometimes it’s taken for granted, and sometimes it’s spit on. I for one and proud of the work we did in Iraq, but in my heart, I know the price was dear. Many people go about their March 4th, just another day. For me, it’s a day of somber remembrance. For me, it’s a day for tears. For me, it’s a day to remember the cost of those who paid the price for my freedoms in this country. Most take a split second on memorial day, or veterans day to remember, for me, it’s deeper than a long weekend, full of bbq. For me it’s personal. Losing my friends, my comrades, my brothers in arms, taught me that tomorrow is never promised. Scripture tells us that our lives are like a vapor (James 4:14). And we are to number our days, so we may grow in a heart of wisdom (Psalm 90:12). Our time on this earth is short, and all believers have a mission, a purpose. We have all been given spiritual gifts to use in the growth of the kingdom. Life isn’t about the work we do, or the appointments we keep, or the money we make. Life is about the connections. Life is about the relationship with God first, then the body of believers second. We have to look out for one another. In today’s busy fast passed world, people are the worst at keeping in touch. When keeping in touch has never been easier, or taken less effort. With just a few thumb strokes you can call and video chat with someone. A phone call as old fashioned as it is, or a text on some platform. A message takes 5 seconds. We often ignore messages, or “forget”, or didn’t have time. All are poor excuses for neglecting a friendship. 

People today are going through a great deal of pain, and yet there are so few willing to help carry that burden. It’s true we have a level of responsibility for our own cross we bear, and some of our responsibility is to let God handle much of what we deal with, but having those friendships, the people to talk to, not being on an island by yourself, is important. Having believers and friends there is to have iron sharpen iron, so does a sharpens another man. (Proverbs 27:17). From my own personal experience this is not happening as it should. I try not to complain much in my life, mostly because I have grown up thinking most people don’t care. When it comes to the larger things, I’ve become accustom to asking for prayers, but the day-to-day stuff, I usually keep to myself. I do however, on average, send out 15-30 messages a day, to check on people, see how they are, and see if there’s anything they need prayer wise. On a good day, I may receive 2-3 messages in return. Most of those 15-30 messages, I never get a response. From a human perspective, of course this hurts my feelings. From a Christian perspective this hurts my heart. How little do we care, that we cannot take 5 seconds to send any kind of reply. I’m not a fan of the thumbs up emoji, but that would be better than nothing at all. No, today it seems, we are full of neglectful laziness. For some, I can excuse, they saw it, forgot, etc. But never getting back to it, not only is that neglectful of your duties as a friend, but also, in my mind, a reflection of how you feel about the friendship. I may be wrong, but it’s how I feel after dealing with these particular issues for many years now, that it’s only continued to grow worse. 

Life is short, from car accidents, to random public violence, to health problems, we never know if there is a tomorrow. But in reality, what we need to focus on is, ‘is there a tomorrow for them?’ I don’t send the message for just myself, but for the recipient. I send it so they know they are thought of, that they are on someone’s mind, that they are cared for. How many of us feel like someone out there cares enough about us to send us something? I’d say most are few. Such a simple thing to do, a small simple message, a hello, a prayer, showing the love of Christ in such a small, easy, and quantifiable. Yet, we are too busy or just don’t care. 

20 years ago, I today I lost my friends in an attack in the city of Ar-Ramadi. Not a day goes by I don ‘t think of them, but this year has been heavier. Perhaps I see the results of a life left behind, that makes me have a bit more survivors’ guilt than usual. The families they were not here to see, the kids, the nieces, nephews, wives, that those people had to move on or grow up not knowing their fallen loved one. We don’t always know the why, know what God’s plan or purpose is. I learned very early in my life how important our time is, and how short it is. A few days ago I was driving home and there were almost 30 rescue vehicles at the gas station near my home. By the looks of it a car hit the center of a telephone pole. I don’t know exactly what happened, but regardless, that many emergency vehicles, something terrible happened. I don’t know if anyone was killed, but it was a reminder that life changes in an instant. We just don’t know how many days we have. Death is not something we want to think about, but it comes for us all, and not all of us are in our beds and die of old age. It’s just the simple truth. Do we know the Gospel of Jesus Christ? Do we know how our sins condemn us to Hell, a guilty verdict before the judge? Do we know that the only choice of not dying is by the sacrificed blood of Jesus, the Son of God, equal to God? Jesus died so we may live. Jesus died as a lamb for us, but rose as a triumphant King. He is Lord, and creator over all, and a day is coming when every knee will bow, every tongue shall confess he is Lord. Jesus is not just savior, not just the fire insurance, but he is Lord. He deserves our praise, and worship. He deserves our obedience to his commandments. We should want to do as he wishes and commands for us. His sacrifice is not a license to sin, and his grace and mercy are not those things either, but rather we test the waters to see how much we can get away with. Shame on us. We abuse his mercy, we abuse is love, and his grace. And in reality, we do not show the love to our neighbors as we should, when we forsake our friends. We ought to do better, for time is short, and the hour is nearer than it was. What do we need to be saved? Have faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Repent of your sinful ways, and be baptized. The path to destruction is wide, the way to the kingdom is by the narrow way. 

Be blessed, go and love one another as Christ loved and died for the church. 

The Heart of the Matter

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The Heart of the Matter

The heart is a deceitfully wicked thing. In days of old it was not likely scripture was in every house. The Jews certainly did not have their own scrolls, and I dare say most, most likely could not write. Despite not being able to write, maybe not read, they knew scripture. They were able to, through practice memorize the stories, and laws written in their ancient texts. They knew the laws, and they knew God’s word. Today, we have the most access to scripture than any generation before us, yet we know the least about the word of God. 

In my youth, (before cell phones) I had no desire to read scripture. I knew some of the most basic stories, and I knew considerably more than those in my life, concerning scripture, but my own drive, my own longing to keep the word in my heart was sorely lacking. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to know the word of God, it’s more that I was lazy, or too interested in things of the world. As scripture says, “when I was a child, I thought at a child.” When I joined the military, we had a day that we spent at a church, I believe it was for thanksgiving. At the church I received a fairly basic King James Version bible. For the next several weeks, I began reading verses, finding verses I could store up in my heart, and I even highlighted verses to remember and make it easier to find later. Before long a good portion of the bible was highlighted. This wasn’t study however. While I was getting to know verses, I didn’t really know or understand what they meant, who they were written to, or why. I was gaining knowledge of scripture, but not the wisdom to know how to use it. 

While I was in Iraq, I ended up with a small camouflaged Gideons NT. Psalms and Proverbs Bible. It was small enough to fit it in my breast pocket of my uniform, and fit under my body armor. I took the red Bible from basic training, transferred over all the highlighted verses I could, and carried it with me. In the book it had a small section of verses by category, fear, anger, sadness, etc. It made it very easy for me to study while out on missions when I wasn’t getting shot at or kicking down doors. I still didn’t know that what I was doing wasn’t actually studying. Though I had learned a bit more during my time. Even to this day I still have both the Bibles. The Gideons Bible however was damaged when I was forced to jump in the water to retrieve my fallen friend. The highlighted sections bled, the pages forever damaged, but still legible if I needed to use it. It sits safely in my firesafe, for safe keeping. 

When I got out of the Military I spent years in Germany, and never went to church. The Bibles were put away, and I no longer spent time in the word. It’s odd really, God spared me multiple times in Iraq, and many times prior to Iraq, yet in my heart, I still did not desire, or long to be in His word. It’s easy to understand, that our hearts naturally deny God. Our hearts, naturally reject Him. As scripture says, before we are saved through the Blood of Jesus those who put their faith and love in Him, are enemies of God. Romans 5:10. While it’s still difficult for me to memorize verses verbatim, I am able to recall the gist of the verse, and again, difficult to remember the verse chapter and number, I am able to use today’s modern technology to find the verse I want in seconds. Some, like the Romans 5:10 verse I mentioned, have managed to stick in my head. This didn’t come easily though. 

After many years of not doing anything with my faith, no church, no Bible study, not even a daily devotional, I moved back home. When I moved, it was out of necessity, and trauma. I began attending an Episcopal church, and while I no longer do, it was a start for me. For the first time in a long time, my faith was being reignited. I began hearing God, and seeing his works in my life. After moving to the Bible Belt of the United States (North Carolina) I began attending a Baptist Church. After being there for a little while, I was asked if I would be willing to teach. To this day, I don’t know why out of all people I’d be asked, but I was honored to do so. I worked hard on my first lesson. I videoed it for both posterity’s sake, and educational purposes. Kind of like watching film from a football game. The study of scripture came not easily, but not as difficult as I imagined it would. I found I enjoyed the study, and the teaching of God’s word. Sadly, my stubbornness heart, still wanted to do things of the world. 

It wasn’t until 2017 that I began truly diving into the word. I had nearly died, and in September of 2016, I surrendered all to Christ. Once I was healed, I began writing in this very place. My blog was born from two people who supported me, loved me, and wanted me to have an outlet and place to share (my talents). Early on, I was in the word studying day and night. I was writing a minimum of one blog post a day, sometimes, two, sometimes three a day. I was, as they say, ‘on fire’ for the Lord. I wrote at that tempo for a long time. While the site in recent years has dwindled in pace, I would say the content improved. To date, including this publication, there has been a total of 836 posts. Why is this important? It’s certainly not to highlight myself, but rather what God does in us. I could not, not write. I had to study. I had to learn and to grow. Today my study looks much different than it used to. Instead of studying for my blog, I now study for my podcast or (Vlog) as it used to be called. I’m currently going through the book of John. 

https://www.youtube.com/@thearrowpreacher6920/streams

In my own time, I am going through the book of Luke. Satan has a way of distracting us though, even now, I find myself being drawn away. Finding excuses not to study. I’m in pain, or I’m tired, or just plain lazy. It’s easy to let Satan fill your head with excuses to not get into God’s word. But, that’s just the first step. It’s a slow fade. First you start skipping your devotional. Then you stop studying as often. Or you start skipping out on prayers. You may start to sleep in on Sunday and not go to church. Before you know it, it’s been weeks since you went to church, or longer. Satan won, and your relationship with God is now secondary, or worse, not even on a list of priorities. It’s important to recognize the slow drift, in order to course correct and get back on track. 

Let me ask this question for you, my devoted readers, when did you decide Christ was the way the truth and the life? 

Me, I grew up in church, so I always had the feeling God was real. If you recall, I said I surrendered in 2016, but I have always known God. Sadly, I don’t believe he truly knew me, in the ways of a two-way relationship. God, was seeking after me my whole life. That is apparent when reviewing my life. There was a pull from an early age. Questions I would ask in Catholic church while sitting in with the adult bible study, as a 10-year-old. Even though God saved my life on more than one occasion, even though, I felt God pulling at me from childhood, I resisted and wanted to do things my way. I knew God, but I didn’t know God. I didn’t know what he wanted for me, or what he expected of me. I had a pirate’s outlook on scripture. “They are more like guidelines.” (Pirates of the Caribbean) It wasn’t until my very real change of heart in 2016/2017 that I finally realized, just how depraved, and sinful I was. It was then I had realized how desperate I was for a relationship with Jesus and the Father, and allow the Holy Spirit to dwell within me. It was then I understood Psalm 119. 

Psalms 119:10-11 10 With my whole heart I have sought You;

Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments!

11 Your word I have hidden in my heart,

That I might not sin against You.

How my life changed when I began to study. I started to understand how important it was for me to know my faith, so I may have a defense against the dark one who means to destroy me. I learned what it means to put on the whole armor of God. I learned what it means to put scripture in my heart so I might not sin against you. I learned what it meant to have a defense of my faith when others may ask me why I am a believer. Can you answer someone if they asked, why do you believe? 

2 Timothy 4:1-4 “I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: 2 preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. 3 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4 and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.”

There is so much wickedness in the world, those who deny Christ and wish that the whole world would deny Christ. Then there are those who teach and preach the false gospel. Those who wish their ears to be tickled and find preachers to do that for them. I pray I am not he. My understanding is those who choose to preach the word of God are held to a higher standard. We must teach rightly scripture to those around us. How can I do that if I don’t study correctly. I must know what sound doctrine sounds like, and looks like. I must know Scripture so I can see the counterfeit before me. I must study to show myself approved not to man but before God. I must study if I am to understand what He wants of me, and what he expects of me. How am I to know God, if I don’t take time to read the love letter he left before me. Scripture is His word to us. It shows us and tells us who he is, and what he wants for us. Why don’t we want to read it? The heart is deceitfully wicked. It is depraved, and repugnant, in its birth state. It is not till the Holy Spirit puts in us a new heart that we finally understand, and I say, are driven to know Him. 

Let us not forsake our studies. Let us not look to scripture as guidelines, but instead, look at them as the commandments they are. Let us have a relationship with God and that starts through prayer and study of His Holy Word. Let us not be deceived into believing our relationship is fine with just Sunday and Wednesday services. Our relationship starts in our own homes, in our daily lives. If you are not doing this, pray that God ignite a spark in you to light the fire in your soul. Strive to learn, and grow, and have such an intimate relationship with God, that everyone around you notices the difference, because when you do, when you grow in your knowledge of what God expects of us, expects of you, you will be forever changed. Let us have the faith of Paul to tell the world, who is Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Messiah, Lord of Lords.