The Heart of the Matter

The Heart of the Matter

The heart is a deceitfully wicked thing. In days of old it was not likely scripture was in every house. The Jews certainly did not have their own scrolls, and I dare say most, most likely could not write. Despite not being able to write, maybe not read, they knew scripture. They were able to, through practice memorize the stories, and laws written in their ancient texts. They knew the laws, and they knew God’s word. Today, we have the most access to scripture than any generation before us, yet we know the least about the word of God. 

In my youth, (before cell phones) I had no desire to read scripture. I knew some of the most basic stories, and I knew considerably more than those in my life, concerning scripture, but my own drive, my own longing to keep the word in my heart was sorely lacking. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to know the word of God, it’s more that I was lazy, or too interested in things of the world. As scripture says, “when I was a child, I thought at a child.” When I joined the military, we had a day that we spent at a church, I believe it was for thanksgiving. At the church I received a fairly basic King James Version bible. For the next several weeks, I began reading verses, finding verses I could store up in my heart, and I even highlighted verses to remember and make it easier to find later. Before long a good portion of the bible was highlighted. This wasn’t study however. While I was getting to know verses, I didn’t really know or understand what they meant, who they were written to, or why. I was gaining knowledge of scripture, but not the wisdom to know how to use it. 

While I was in Iraq, I ended up with a small camouflaged Gideons NT. Psalms and Proverbs Bible. It was small enough to fit it in my breast pocket of my uniform, and fit under my body armor. I took the red Bible from basic training, transferred over all the highlighted verses I could, and carried it with me. In the book it had a small section of verses by category, fear, anger, sadness, etc. It made it very easy for me to study while out on missions when I wasn’t getting shot at or kicking down doors. I still didn’t know that what I was doing wasn’t actually studying. Though I had learned a bit more during my time. Even to this day I still have both the Bibles. The Gideons Bible however was damaged when I was forced to jump in the water to retrieve my fallen friend. The highlighted sections bled, the pages forever damaged, but still legible if I needed to use it. It sits safely in my firesafe, for safe keeping. 

When I got out of the Military I spent years in Germany, and never went to church. The Bibles were put away, and I no longer spent time in the word. It’s odd really, God spared me multiple times in Iraq, and many times prior to Iraq, yet in my heart, I still did not desire, or long to be in His word. It’s easy to understand, that our hearts naturally deny God. Our hearts, naturally reject Him. As scripture says, before we are saved through the Blood of Jesus those who put their faith and love in Him, are enemies of God. Romans 5:10. While it’s still difficult for me to memorize verses verbatim, I am able to recall the gist of the verse, and again, difficult to remember the verse chapter and number, I am able to use today’s modern technology to find the verse I want in seconds. Some, like the Romans 5:10 verse I mentioned, have managed to stick in my head. This didn’t come easily though. 

After many years of not doing anything with my faith, no church, no Bible study, not even a daily devotional, I moved back home. When I moved, it was out of necessity, and trauma. I began attending an Episcopal church, and while I no longer do, it was a start for me. For the first time in a long time, my faith was being reignited. I began hearing God, and seeing his works in my life. After moving to the Bible Belt of the United States (North Carolina) I began attending a Baptist Church. After being there for a little while, I was asked if I would be willing to teach. To this day, I don’t know why out of all people I’d be asked, but I was honored to do so. I worked hard on my first lesson. I videoed it for both posterity’s sake, and educational purposes. Kind of like watching film from a football game. The study of scripture came not easily, but not as difficult as I imagined it would. I found I enjoyed the study, and the teaching of God’s word. Sadly, my stubbornness heart, still wanted to do things of the world. 

It wasn’t until 2017 that I began truly diving into the word. I had nearly died, and in September of 2016, I surrendered all to Christ. Once I was healed, I began writing in this very place. My blog was born from two people who supported me, loved me, and wanted me to have an outlet and place to share (my talents). Early on, I was in the word studying day and night. I was writing a minimum of one blog post a day, sometimes, two, sometimes three a day. I was, as they say, ‘on fire’ for the Lord. I wrote at that tempo for a long time. While the site in recent years has dwindled in pace, I would say the content improved. To date, including this publication, there has been a total of 836 posts. Why is this important? It’s certainly not to highlight myself, but rather what God does in us. I could not, not write. I had to study. I had to learn and to grow. Today my study looks much different than it used to. Instead of studying for my blog, I now study for my podcast or (Vlog) as it used to be called. I’m currently going through the book of John. 

https://www.youtube.com/@thearrowpreacher6920/streams

In my own time, I am going through the book of Luke. Satan has a way of distracting us though, even now, I find myself being drawn away. Finding excuses not to study. I’m in pain, or I’m tired, or just plain lazy. It’s easy to let Satan fill your head with excuses to not get into God’s word. But, that’s just the first step. It’s a slow fade. First you start skipping your devotional. Then you stop studying as often. Or you start skipping out on prayers. You may start to sleep in on Sunday and not go to church. Before you know it, it’s been weeks since you went to church, or longer. Satan won, and your relationship with God is now secondary, or worse, not even on a list of priorities. It’s important to recognize the slow drift, in order to course correct and get back on track. 

Let me ask this question for you, my devoted readers, when did you decide Christ was the way the truth and the life? 

Me, I grew up in church, so I always had the feeling God was real. If you recall, I said I surrendered in 2016, but I have always known God. Sadly, I don’t believe he truly knew me, in the ways of a two-way relationship. God, was seeking after me my whole life. That is apparent when reviewing my life. There was a pull from an early age. Questions I would ask in Catholic church while sitting in with the adult bible study, as a 10-year-old. Even though God saved my life on more than one occasion, even though, I felt God pulling at me from childhood, I resisted and wanted to do things my way. I knew God, but I didn’t know God. I didn’t know what he wanted for me, or what he expected of me. I had a pirate’s outlook on scripture. “They are more like guidelines.” (Pirates of the Caribbean) It wasn’t until my very real change of heart in 2016/2017 that I finally realized, just how depraved, and sinful I was. It was then I had realized how desperate I was for a relationship with Jesus and the Father, and allow the Holy Spirit to dwell within me. It was then I understood Psalm 119. 

Psalms 119:10-11 10 With my whole heart I have sought You;

Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments!

11 Your word I have hidden in my heart,

That I might not sin against You.

How my life changed when I began to study. I started to understand how important it was for me to know my faith, so I may have a defense against the dark one who means to destroy me. I learned what it means to put on the whole armor of God. I learned what it means to put scripture in my heart so I might not sin against you. I learned what it meant to have a defense of my faith when others may ask me why I am a believer. Can you answer someone if they asked, why do you believe? 

2 Timothy 4:1-4 “I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: 2 preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. 3 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4 and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.”

There is so much wickedness in the world, those who deny Christ and wish that the whole world would deny Christ. Then there are those who teach and preach the false gospel. Those who wish their ears to be tickled and find preachers to do that for them. I pray I am not he. My understanding is those who choose to preach the word of God are held to a higher standard. We must teach rightly scripture to those around us. How can I do that if I don’t study correctly. I must know what sound doctrine sounds like, and looks like. I must know Scripture so I can see the counterfeit before me. I must study to show myself approved not to man but before God. I must study if I am to understand what He wants of me, and what he expects of me. How am I to know God, if I don’t take time to read the love letter he left before me. Scripture is His word to us. It shows us and tells us who he is, and what he wants for us. Why don’t we want to read it? The heart is deceitfully wicked. It is depraved, and repugnant, in its birth state. It is not till the Holy Spirit puts in us a new heart that we finally understand, and I say, are driven to know Him. 

Let us not forsake our studies. Let us not look to scripture as guidelines, but instead, look at them as the commandments they are. Let us have a relationship with God and that starts through prayer and study of His Holy Word. Let us not be deceived into believing our relationship is fine with just Sunday and Wednesday services. Our relationship starts in our own homes, in our daily lives. If you are not doing this, pray that God ignite a spark in you to light the fire in your soul. Strive to learn, and grow, and have such an intimate relationship with God, that everyone around you notices the difference, because when you do, when you grow in your knowledge of what God expects of us, expects of you, you will be forever changed. Let us have the faith of Paul to tell the world, who is Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Messiah, Lord of Lords. 

Sinful Nature 

Sinful Nature 

“A scorpion was walking along the bank of a river, wondering how to get to the other side. Suddenly he saw a fox. He asked the fox to take him on his back across the river. The fox said no. If I do that you’ll sting me, and I’ll drown. The scorpion assured him. If I did that, we’d both drown. So the fox thought about it and finally agreed. So the scorpion climbed up on his back, and the fox began to swim. But halfway across the river, the scorpion stung him. As the poison filled his veins, the fox turned to the scorpion and said why did you do that? Now you’ll drown too. I couldn’t help it, said the scorpion. It’s my nature.”  (Chakotay, ST. Voyager Scorpion Ep 1)

Our nature, is that of sin. We can try to run from it, but it’s hold is tight, and this side of glory it will never let go. We are born into it, and no matter our best efforts, we are to live with it. It’s a daily fight to push back against that sin nature. In Christian faith we call this total depravity. Without God’s intervening nature, we would hold no chance to fight against the sin nature. I have often looked at sin as a moth to a flame. We circle the sin, attracted to it, but eventually get burned by it. Sin, the curse of our forebears having eaten of the fruit from the tree of knowledge. The first disobedient act, but ultimately the second sin, the first being pride, wanting to be like God. We walk this earth, toiling the earth, the serpent nipping at our heals as we do. 

I have come to realize many will not come to see the light of the Lord. Like a cockroach with the light turned on, they flee from the light, having only longed to stay in the shadows. We look at this world, as the shadow spreads over the land, and we often wonder, what happened? Much like Théoden at the battle of Helms Deep, “How did it come to this?” “What can men do against such reckless hate?” Satan’s shadow has grown deep over the land, and the greatest lie he ever had, was to make people believe neither he, nor God, exist. 

As I’ve grown older, I pity those who have not seen the light. I have learned I cannot argue anyone into God, and by proxy, I cannot argue anyone out of sin. I will use one example. Abortion is a hot button topic in this world today. At least, it is here in the U.S. If someone believes a woman has the right to murder an unborn fetus, an unborn baby, they will not likely see the sin in that act. They are not likely to see the evil that indwells in such a decision. No, they would not likely murder another human, but to them, they can dehumanize a baby, and take its life. All in the name of choice, or worse reproductive health. Only a very few will be swayed by the arguments of a Christian, and only those whom the Holy Spirit has chosen. 

Scripture does not tell us to go into the world and argue with them what is, or is not a sin. A non-Christian will not be swayed by such arguments. Love in the face of hardships. Love in the face of persecutions. Love in the face of oppositions. Love as scripture says, covers a multitude of sins. When we truly love and we are focused on that love we can avoid many sins. But we are in fact sinners and despite being born again, a new creation, we are still the moth circling the flame. 

I cannot expect a non-Christian to have the same morals as God, and by proxy, the same morals as myself. I know that I myself am a sinner, and I look forward to the day this body passes into the dirt it came from, and my spirit rejoins my creator. I look forward to the day my mouth, my actions, my very presence, no longer causes pain to those around me. Despite being a born-again Christian, I still sin, I still say things that hurt others. My frustrations, my pain, my anger, still seep out from time to time, and I inevitably bring tears to the ones I love. I do not mean to, but it happens. As Paul in scripture says, I do the things I know I shouldn’t, and I don’t do the things I know I should. How is it a ‘Super Christian” like Paul still sins. It’s easy really, Paul was still a man, a man who indeed had the Holy Spirit in him, but a sinner nevertheless. 

We Christians have become timid in this world, from telling others about the love of Christ. Today we are considered by some to be extreme, to be a danger to democracy, to be homophobic, to be bigots, to be radicals. The world right before our eyes has become hostile to the Christian. A country that once was Christian, is no longer so. It does appear we are moving into an age where to be a Christian will be evermore dangerous for our jobs, for our livelihood. Where Christians can go to jail for preaching the word of God. Where Christians can lose a child to the state, just because they disagree with gender affirming care. Yes indeed, the air is changing, and darkness spreads over the land. 

There is hope though, for scripture tells us to never grow weary of doing good. Scripture tells us that while we will face trials and tribulations to take heart in Jesus, for he has overcome the world. To count it all joy in the midst of struggles. Scripture tells us to love our enemies, and as much as it’s up to us, to live in peace. We share the Gospel by both telling others about a great and powerful, almighty, loving, caring, and righteous God. We also share the Gospel by living it before our unbelieving neighbors. Our job is to make disciples and we do that every day, everywhere we go. We do not pick and choose the mission fields, everywhere we are is our mission field. Our very life is our mission field. We share the Love of Christ to everyone we meet, and as an ambassador for Christ we should look different every day, everywhere, to everyone. 

We must hold our heads high in the midst of the battle, not for our own sakes, but for those watching us. We must hold our tongues when those speak out against us, and speak only what is edifying for the hearer. We must maintain our witness in all situations, so others may see the dim reflection of Christ in us. The moon does not produce light of its own, but reflects the bright light from the sun. If we are to be the moon’s light, we are to light the world in the darkness. Jesus left us instructions when we left. The word of God was put to paper so we would not have to blindly navigate this world alone. Everything we need for this life is found in scripture, and it is our job to share the good news with all we encounter. 

Do not try to win futile arguments about morality to an immoral people. Instead continue to share your faith. Continue to share your testimony about what God has done for you. Continue to share the words of scripture to those around you. In order to have a defense of your faith, you must know your faith, so that means you must be in the word, you must study, you must be in constant communication with the Lord. You must be on your knees praying before a Holy God, and ask for him to intercede in your heart, and show you the path. WE do not walk within our own understanding, but walk in the ways of the Lord. Walk in the way He has prepared for you, and never give up. Never stop doing good, and never stop praying for anyone. Sometimes prayer takes years to be answered, but make no mistake, God hears you. Are we sinners, yes, must we ask for forgiveness when we sin against others, or against God, yes. We must also forgive those who have trespassed against us. All sin is equal at the foot of the cross, and all sin equals a sentence of Hell. But God had a plan, and that plan was Jesus, who came, bore no sin of his own, took upon our sins, so the wrath and righteousness of God would be satisfied. We would be justified in Christ, and through the Holy Spirit sanctified daily. We are enemies of God, made right before God, for God the Father sees only the blood of his son. On our behalf, Jesus is at the thrown as our intercessor, our mediator, our High Priest. Glory to God in the Highest, and Peace to His People. 

You Can Also follow me on Youtube, for video, and live lessons.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV3r024gS2FRDIbpqnsDwWA

Would You Care If You Knew The Truth?

Would You Care If You Knew The Truth?

There was a new artist on the scene recently that released a new song called ‘To Be A Man’. In my own humble opinion, this hits to where men are right now. I was talking to my wife in the car recently, and for me, it looks like this: 

A man is either too emotional for people and told to man up. Bury the emotions and pretend like they don’t exist. 

“It’s the circle of life as a man you provide, they don’t know what you worth, till the day you die, and that’s when they start cryin’, then they move on to a man to confide in.” ‘To Be A Man.’ “It’s not about how we feel but what we provide inside that home.” (To Be A Man by DAX.) 

The other man, is that who by societies terms is full of toxic masculinity. To be a man is to be hostile to today’s ideals. As a White Conservative Christian Man I check all the boxes for me to not just be an outcast, but enemy. Today’s society looks to men as if they are worthless. They are not needed, they are not appreciated, they aren’t even wanted. The famous line from Cher was this, ‘Do you need a man?’ She replies, ‘For what? Today there are videos circling the internet of women saying how much they don’t like men, how little they need them, how little they want them around. We have a push in many areas to de-masculinize men, by changing them fundamentally into fem-boys. The future is a scary place, and for the first time in my life I have questioned the idea of bringing life into this world. I have looked at the world, and I am fearful for the future of the kids I tend to in the church. Revelation is a scary place, and knowing that’s where we are going, the only reprieve I have is the knowledge that Jesus wins the war. But for those who may not know Jesus yet, and for those who are perhaps left behind, their lives are not an easy road. The ‘Mark of the Beast’ is coming, and whether it happens in my lifetime or not, it could. This world has gotten dark, and hostile, and sadly, ‘it’s a lonely road.’ 

As the man of the house and the provider, I’m not sure I am doing a good job. While there are meals on the table, and a canvas roof over our heads, it’s barely scraping by. Every day, I’m dealing with chronic pain and it’s a struggle to get out of bed. I have to muster strength that is not of my own to stand in the morning. My will, my strength is gone, but it’s okay, because I was born for this. I was born in 1984, to live in a certain time, to do a certain job, and I know that I am unsinkable. I know that while the blood is in the water, and the sharks are circlin’ round. (Unsinkable: By Sail North) God put me here to fight the good fight here and now. God put me here to take care of an ailing mother. He put me here to be husband to a wife. The Devil circles round poking at my defenses. I am a man and while there are cracks in the armor, you can knock me down, but I’ll always get back up. It’s not I that stands up, but God who stands me up. It is God whose strength flows through my body, and His will that pushes me forward. To be a man is to be a leader, to be the spiritual guide for the home. To be a man is to have the courage of the Almighty God running through your body. I may be bleeding into the water, I may have my sails torn in the storm, but I will still reach the golden harbor of Heaven. I shall reach my destination with my head held high. I will finish the course He put me on, and no matter the hits the Devil, the deceiver, the enemy, the wolves at the gate pound on me with fierce ferocity, I will fight till my very last breath. I will fight and keep fighting till the day God calls me home. My job here is not done, and God, the creator of all is with me, and my mission here, is to do what he has called me to do. I cannot rest, I cannot be complacent in my life, for the enemy circling round does not rest. The enemy seeks to destroy, to break down, to rip the life from my lungs. God the Father’s Son, shed his blood to provide protection for me. The Holy Spirit, and God’s Heavenly Host of Angels fight for me in a realm I cannot see. How grate is our God who fights for me using the greatest warriors ever created. 

I have been blessed to feel the Holy Spirit with me with a physical touch, a warmth and comfort in the midst of battle. I have been blessed to hear the voice of God and feel his electric touch of life, bringing life back to my body. I did not die that day to live a life of peace. I died that day to spark a warrior to life. I did not die that day to live in the pastures sipping tea watching the peaceful sunset every night. I was brought back to serve, the fight, to be exactly what God wants me to be. While my body never died in the medical sense, something in me died that day. Recently I was exposed to an old quote by a famous author. “My hope is that when I die, all of hell rejoices that I am out of the fight.” C.S. Lewis. I was born for this. I was born to fight here and now, to continue to fight against the darkness that rises over the land. The Soldier in the Armor of God under fire from the flaming arrows, the millions of arrows fired daily, taking shelter under the shield, then using the sandals of light, advancing. Where am I supposed to be? I advance to where the Spirit guides, let the storm roll on wild, let the fight come, let us not cower in fear, for we were not given a spirit of fear, but one of courage. 2 Timothy 1:7. We can stand firm because while we may look small, a Lioness looks small, till her Lion stands behind her and he roars. We have a great and mighty God in our corner, and the demons flee and tremble at the name of Christ. How great is a name, that we don’t just speak his name, but He is with us, standing over our shoulder, and with God with us, who than can be against us. Romans 8:31. 

The life of a soldier is not easy. It’s a calling for those who do it as a profession. Having been a soldier, having fought in combat, having seen the horrors of it, I know the sacrifice that comes with. Being chosen by God automatically made me a Christian soldier. I was chosen before the first dawn on this world, chosen to live here in this time for a purpose. God makes no mistakes, and he waists nothing. My ship recently may be getting pummeled by the army of Satan, but I know that no matter what, I will make it to my destination. The Golden Harbor, the Pearly Gates, the everlasting paradise with streets made of Gold, an eternity with God, await me. Until the day the Lord calls me home, I shall fight the good fight. I will continue to make life hard for Satan, I will continue to take his attacks, for I know who’s with me. Men, society may not want you, but God does. They may not value you, but God does. Society may not love you, but God does. 

What is it to be a man? It’s to be the spiritual leader of the home. The provider. It’s being a living example of Jesus Christ in our homes. It matters not what society says about being a man, or men in general. What matters is what God expects of you. It’s being a soldier for the Lord, and fighting the fight to keep the family safe against the enemies at the gate, the sharks circlin’ round. It’s a teacher, teaching the ways of the Lord to your family so they may resist the Devil’s attacks. Be an example of Christs love and mercy, and discipline. I’m more than my parts, I’m a child of the King, I’m an Heir to Heaven. I’m unsinkable, I’m unbeatable, for as long as the Holy Spirit is in me, No one can pluck me from His Hands, I am HIS. 

I Can Only Imagine

 By Mercy Me

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk by Your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes would see
When Your face is before me
I can only imagine

Arrow Preacher Podcast

https://www.youtube.com/live/jW0NZOq53v4?si=4O2U8ZXJpg2RkuFB

https://youtu.be/FiDeLJqwYAU?si=6aXaDQasGsfAWUfn

This Old Elf

This Old Elf

Four decades, or forty years. Time slips by in what seems like an instant, but as anyone can see just by looking around them, time is better for some people than others. If I was not a faithful, God-fearing man, I would say time hated me. As one friend put it, ‘if it weren’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.’ Time has been hard on me all these years. I have spent much time recently looking back and reviewing my four long decades on this earth. The passage of time is a strange thing, since sometimes it goes slow, and others we seem to miss it in the blink of an eye. But in reality, time moves the same speed today, as it did in the 80’s, 90’s and even the time just after Adam and Eve were banished from Eden. If I was a betting man, I would say, what I’m feeling is fairly common for a newly turned 40-year-old. I’m not sure if most people do this, but in the recent days I’ve been reflecting over my life.

I don’t believe anyone would say I’ve had an easy life. I have been blessed, and am currently blessed, but that does not mean life is without issues. There is certainly something to be said about a family member battling dementia, and the family left to help navigate the stormy waters. Some days are decent, while others are not. When the relationship is already tumultuous, turbulent, it makes that navigation like a first year Lieutenant on a land nav course. 

Are we ever where we thought we ‘d be? Generally, the answer to this question is no. I’d say the vast majority of people’s lives are so far off the track from what they originally attempted to navigate. This doesn’t mean life is all difficult, but I do think reflection can be both helpful and hurtful depending on the circumstances. Reflection is important so we can take a long hard look and perhaps gain some perspective. However, if we stair to long, we may get lost in the despair of rejection, heartache, and disappointment, that may come from looking back. I have a few big moments in my life I have considered what would have happened if I had just made a different choice. Some say our choices define us, and while that’s true, sometimes it feels they often condemn us. The last thing I want in my life is to forever be stuck. I look at my current situation and it’s hard not to feel stuck. It’s no secret that I live in a tent behind my mother’s house. Having needing a place to live after my back injury, my house was packed into boxes and while in need of a place to store it, mothers house was that place. What was meant to be a short stay, has now turned into seven years. In need of some privacy the tent was placed near the house to have power, a larger bed than a twin, a small place to put a desk to work, and some privacy. But it was in no way expected to be a long-term solution. Three years later. Now, when one looks at the current mortgage rates, I cannot pay half or more than half of my income to a house payment. A disabled veteran is hard pressed to own a home on their income alone. Am I a failure? At 40 years old, living in the back yard of their aging parent whose battling dementia, a house badly designed and laid out, making living very difficult, and stressful, and frustrating, I feel as if I have failed. It is my responsibility to take care of and provide for my family, and while yes, there is a roof over our heads, and food on the table, I am able to provide the bare minimum. Am I being too hard on myself? Perhaps.

I pray that in my current state in my life, that this is not a representation of me: 

Proverbs 13:4

4 The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing,

    while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.

Things aren’t always easy, and life hasn’t turned out the way I thought it would. The struggles I’ve faced are not easy, but nowhere near the worst they could be. Even with the recent and long-term struggles, I have to find my situation blessed. While I struggle every day with a slew of chronic issues, I know my situation could be worse. I have acknowledged at my current place; I am in no way of fixing or changing anything. It is for this reason, I know that all I can do is pray about where I am, and know that God is in control. Some have called this kind of acknowledgement the serenity prayer. While yes, I am aware of it, I will say, knowing and understanding, does not make the day-to-day choices any easier. 

As I turned forty, I’m not sure what I expected from the day, but I wish I could say it went well. Sadly, the day started off rough, and periodically went downhill. I found myself battling my own disappointments, strong negative emotions, and by the end of the night being hurt and disappointed by the words of others. A day that should have been happy and a celebration, did not turn out that way. I often wonder if people consider the amount of pressure a man has on his shoulders. I wonder if people truly consider how difficult it is for a man to have the weight and responsibility of his family’s spiritual walk, the financial responsibilities for the family, the maintenance and heavy lifting for the family. After all that, you add the man’s hopes and dreams, and know that he will often put those aside for the health, and welfare of his loved ones, he walks alone, silent in his struggle. 

But God, hears his cries. While he does not speak allowed his hurt, God knows and hears the cries coming from his broken heart. Turning 40 isn’t the end of the road, it’s merely the middle. One could say it’s the beginning, since every start around the sun is a new starting point. Every day waking up is a fresh start, as the sun rises over a blank canvas, we have the ability to let God paint us a new portrait. Today isn’t the end, and while it did not go as I hoped, and at the end of the day I am hurt, and disappointed, God knows and if it be His will, He will work it out. I started off the day whimsical and excited. As I end the day, I do so in silence, alone by candle light. How I wish I could boldly go on a starship and explore strange new worlds, and seek out new life. I find myself longing for life among the stars where the motivation of human society is no longer the accumulation of wealth but rather the betterment of all mankind. Where hunger, and homelessness is no longer a thing, and people have their needs and wants met, while exploring and growing humanity. Even being lost in the Delta Quadrant on Voyager doesn’t seem so bad. Perhaps one day. For now, look to one another and show kindness, respect, and above all, show love. We are to love our neighbor as God has loved us. Are we loving, and caring, sharing the truth of the Gospel? Hardships come and all we can do is trust in God, let go, and in all we do, all we say, do so to the Glory of the one who created it all, do so to bring a smile upon God’s face. Let’s release our selfishness and ask how we can serve others, and find joy in bringing happiness and love to a world around us that desperately needs it. 

Live Long and Prosper my friends. Go in Love. 

Chronic

Chronic

Chronic pain is something that afflicts so many people. What is chronic pain? As defined by the Clevland Clinic “Chronic pain is pain that lasts for over three months. The pain can be there all the time, or it may come and go. It can happen anywhere in your body. Chronic pain can interfere with your daily activities, such as working, having a social life and taking care of yourself or others. It can lead to depression, anxiety and trouble sleeping, which can make your pain worse. This response creates a cycle that’s difficult to break.” (professional, C. C. medical. (n.d.). Chronic pain: What is it, causes, symptoms & treatment. Cleveland Clinic. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/4798-chronic-pain) Chronic pain is something according to the CDC “During 2021, an estimated 20.9% of U.S. adults (51.6 million persons) experienced chronic pain, and 6.9% (17.1 million persons) experienced high-impact chronic pain (i.e., chronic pain that results in substantial restriction to daily activities)” So what does this mean? What if you’re a veteran? According to the VA “1 in 5 Veterans report persistent pain • ~1 in 10 Veterans report severe persistent pain • ~1 in 3 Veterans have been diagnosed with a condition related to chronic pain” I’m a 40-year-old male combat veteran. I spent over a decade working in the security industry which is difficult on the body. I have a neck injury that now leaves me with severe chronic pain, and as it degrades, the pain worsens and makes life far more difficult. What does it say? It can lead to depression, anxiety, and trouble sleeping? On top of the PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) the depression is very real. I’m used to feeling pain before I go to bed, and the pain medication I have is vital to take before I go to bed. The hard part, is when I wake up in the morning with pain, and there’s a need to start my day with medication. Sadly, some days are worse when the pain is more severe from the moment I wake. There are days when the act of getting out of bed is extremely challenging. There are days when all I want to do is cry because the struggle to do anything is so strong. 

As I am nearing 40 years old in just a few days, I find myself struggling with recent diagnosis of my neck, and knowing there is nothing I can do to take the pain away, it’s disheartening. The surgery that was planned was canceled due to a counsel of surgeons deciding the original plan would fail, and a much more severe and extensive surgery would be needed. However, regardless of the necessity, my age prevents the desire to do the surgery now. While the meds do help a little, the medication has a negative side. What happens when you are on a narcotic medication for years? The biggest issue is when the medication creates a tolerance and becomes less effective. The physical pain is bad, but it’s nothing compared to the emotional toll it takes. The inability to do daily activities because of pain makes simple and basic tasks like housework, and yardwork nearly impossible some days. When you don’t want to do activities with your significant other, or friends, it makes you feel bad, and for me, ashamed. At the age of 40 and looking at a major neck fusion surgery, that will remove 100% of my mobility, I have not been sure of my place in this world. 

Because of my chronic issues, I had to retire early, but have not received social security. Not receiving social security has affected my income. As a disabled veteran I do get veterans benefits, but it is certainly not enough to take care of a family financially. As a man, and head of the household, I feel shame for not feeling like I am doing a good job providing for my family. How does a man determine value? 

I’m not trying to drum up sympathy, on the contrary, I want to spread awareness. I by no means have everything figured out on how to manage severe chronic pain. I have attended VA chronic pain management groups and therapies. I have attended recreational therapies, and while most of it has not taken away the pain, but, some of the techniques on how to manage have proven slightly affective. What does help with chronic pain? A strong faith foundation. 

Psalm 13:5-6

“5 But I have trusted in Your mercy;

My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.

6 I will sing to the Lord,

Because He has dealt bountifully with me.”

We may never know why there is so much suffering, except for knowing we live in a broken, fallen, sinful world. Suffering started the day Eve ate of the fruit, and Adam and Eve were exiled out of the garden. God told them they would face hardships, they would have to work hard, childbirth would be painful, and by the sweat of Adam’s brow he would till the earth. When we look at suffering in scripture, the book of Job is the height of this. After Job confronts God, and God replies in the most amazing and eloquent way, Job sees the truth. 

Job 42:1-6

Then Job answered the Lord and said:

2 “I know that You can do everything,

And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You.

3 You asked, ‘Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?’

Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,

Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.

4 Listen, please, and let me speak;

You said, ‘I will question you, and you shall answer Me.’

5 “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear,

But now my eye sees You.

6 Therefore I abhor myself,

And repent in dust and ashes.”

Pain builds endurance. If we are faithful, our suffering should draw us near to God. This life is hard, and in it we will face an abundance of challenges. We will face hardships, and hurt. I do not necessarily believe when James talked of “whenever you face trials of many kinds,” he was referring to chronic pain. While I’m not sure he was referring to this particular trial, I will say, the lesson remains true. “3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:2-4) Facing these hardships is not easy, and I find myself having difficulty in navigating life recently. I struggle with the day-to-day routine, as I am always in pain. I do not know why God has seen fit for me to go through this, but I know he has a reason. I have come to understand, we do not need to know the why, just know and understand God is sovereign, and no matter where we find ourselves, we need to know and believe God has a purpose. Assuming we did not put ourselves in the negative situation. I have often looked back and wondered if there was something I could have done differently to change things today. Should I have fought the VA for treatment and care for my neck from the beginning, instead of rolling over and taking the denial of responsibility. I didn’t fight for myself, and knowing there was a problem with my neck when I got out of the Army, my lack of treatment led to where I am today. It’s hard not to be angry about it, but knowing that anger won’t change anything, I have worked on letting it go. 

This life is short compared to eternity. For some people this life is full of more hardships, and letdowns, and heartache then others. Some people even Christians have an easier go of it than others. While everyone struggles, that struggle needs to build your endurance and faithfulness towards Jesus the Christ. We will never understand God’s plan this side of Glory. We will never see the fullness of the picture in which God sees. We will also never know the things God saved us from in this life. The ten second delay leaving the house saved us from a large car pileup. A delay in surgery kept us from dying on the table from a massive stroke. Paul says in scripture he prayed for God to remove a thorn in his side. We do not know what this was. Was it a physical ailment, this could very well be true from all the beatings, stoning, shipwreck, etc. Paul experienced. Without proper medical care, Paul may have developed significant physical pains. Was this a person or problem nonphysical, this too is a possibility. We don’t know. What we do know is Paul prayed, and God’s answer was no. He did not take it from him. 

2 Corinthians 12:7 “7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure.”

While this could be a physical ailment, it could also be a person. We do not know, but no matter what it is, the takeaway is the same. Paul’s prayer went unanswered, and he was told that God’s grace is sufficient. 

Isaiah 48:10

Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver;

I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.

Do we believe in our heart of hearts, that God’s grace is sufficient, no matter what our affliction is? Do we trust that God’s plan is perfect and he is sovereign? I am in no way saying dealing with these things is easy, obviously it was not easy for Paul since he pleaded with God three times. We are being forged into something more, and that process is violent. In order to be forged into something battle worthy, something strong enough to endure the test of combat, we must undergo the extreme heat, and the pounding of steel on steel, to mold us into a weapon. God’s grace is sufficient, but he never leaves us defenseless. He has given to us His Armor, the Armor of God, made up on his attributes, we clothe ourselves with. We are given the sword, the shield, the breastplate, the helmet, the sandals, and the buckler. We do not battle alone, for God is with us. We face the challenges of this world, and no matter what we face, how we respond to it matters. How we respond to stimuli matters. We are to respond in all ways as God responds. We are to respond in a way that when we are judged by God, we are told ‘well done my good and faithful servant.’ The last thing any believer wants is to let down God the Almighty creator of Heaven and Earth, and everything in it. 

No one wants to be in pain every day. No one wants to have cancer, or experience loss. No one wants to feel like an outsider and feel like they are not welcomed. It’s hard when you feel these things. Growing up I was often an outsider wherever I found myself. My personality was always a bit different. My opinions of life were different, set apart. Today is no different. In recent months I have felt like an outsider, even unwelcomed in places I never thought I would feel I didn’t belong. Few people in my life know what it’s like to have this level of pain on a daily basis. Few people understand how bad it feels not to be well enough to work to bring home enough money to take care of your family. I say this in all sincerity, ‘show me all your scars, and I’ll show you the cross.’ Show you the Cross: Matty Mullins. Years ago, I found myself in the worst storm of my life, and I felt like I was on the worst sea, inflicted by a hurricane, and all my sails were broken. It was when I thought all hope was lost, Jesus showed up. Jesus was there with me, guiding me through the storm. Jesus showed me the light, and while it didn’t happen overnight, I found my peace in Jesus. I was in a war, and Jesus reminded me, he already won the battle. Jesus reminded me I was his, and nothing Satan could do would pluck me from his hands. Today, I feel like my wheels are spinning and I’m stuck in quicksand. I feel powerless to change anything in my life, and the hard truth is, maybe I’m not supposed too. Jesus is in control, and the hardest thing we can do when nothing is going right, let go, and let God. 

Hardships Endure 

Hardships Endure 

It’s no secret that my life has been one of hardships, heartache, and difficulties. Not saying I haven’t had good times, even great times, but as a friend once told me, ‘if it weren’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.’ From an early age I have experienced hardships most people at my age couldn’t imagine, and wouldn’t have known what those hardships were called. As I was told, before I was three years old I knew the word Anesthesiologist. By the time I was three years old I had undergone 4 surgeries. By the time I was 16, I had 7 surgeries, and by the time I was 18 I had 9 surgeries. Needless to say, I was familiar with doctors and hospitals. 

By the time I was 19 I had moved several times. One of those times was a move by myself from Michigan across the country to Massachusetts. Each of the times, minus one, I moved by myself away from family. With every move I was left with heartache, and struggle. For most of my life I didn’t feel I had a home, and even now, I don’t have a place to call my own. The feeling of failure has been and is quite real for me. In recent months I have been given a grave diagnosis, and while I have been attempting to manage the emotional fallout, I find myself fatigued. How can I take care of myself, if I am broken and in constant pain. Chronic pain takes a toll on the human mind, and can often cause frustration, sadness, depression, and anger. On a deeper level, the combined aspects of pain, physical issues, living situation, it often leaves me feeling inadequate, worthless. I don’t care much for the idea of self-esteem, simply because we should know and understand our place in this world as broken, sinful, enemies of God. However, on the flip side of that coin, we are also loved and grafted into the Kingdom of God, through the grace and mercy of Jesus. Needless to say finding a balance is important. A balance I have not been doing so well at, as of late. 

When I go through hardships I try to think of a few characters from scripture. The first and most notable is Job. Job’s hardships are quite obvious and extensive. His losses and trials stand testament to struggles for all people. I then consider the trials Paul faced. As a loyal servant of Jesus, Paul faced beatings, stoning, jail, poverty, and ultimately murdered by beheading. Recently however, the person I have been considering most is Elijah. In his pain, he cried out to the Lord to take his life. In his sorrow he did not want to be left alive, as he also felt his surviving was that of failure. 

Soldiers who lose others, lose comrades in battle often feel what’s known as survivors’ guilt. It is said that those who survive often wish their places be switched with those who died. Elijah it seems may have been dealing with some of this guilt and challenges. I have felt this way in the past. When I lost friends in combat, I was there, and witnessed what happened. I attempted to save my friend, and sadly failed to do so. I had intuition of an impending attack, and sadly that did nothing to prevent it from happening. In recent times, I have wondered what my purpose is, and as I have recently been given a difficult prognosis regarding my physical health, I have been put into a position where I’m not sure how to manage the emotional fallout. This recent revelation of difficult times ahead has left me with little recourse, and no control over what happens next. 

In hard times I have grown from a scared 11-year-old, an angry 30-year-old, to a seasoned, faithful servant of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. In the past I would compartmentalize a trauma, and move on. This would leave me more broken than where I started and never truly dealt or handled the trauma. Today, I face these problems head on. I look to James who says, count it all joy when you fall into various trials. How can I look at where I am and be in Joy? I have often asked myself, if James were to have been diagnosed with cancer would he still have found joy in such diagnosis? The answer, is yes. James knew and understood who the Lord Jesus was, and in that understanding he knew that whatever we go through in this life, it is temporary. It isn’t why we are going through these things, but rather how we respond to them. With the world watching us in every situation we are in, how are we showing our faith to the people around us? I’m not saying cancer is easy, nor am I saying major life changing back surgeries are easy either, but what I am saying is that, people are looking to you because you may be a mentor to them. You may be someone’s inspiration, or even someone’s curiosity. Here’s an example: 

You go to work every day, and people at work know you’re a Christian. You have a smile on your face, and you talk about Jesus, but life is generally smooth for you. A bombshell hits, and you lose a child in a car accident. This tragedy leaves you devastated, and you become bitter with God, or worse, you walk away all together. Those whom you once shared your faith with, now see you walking away. How strong was your faith, that you would walk away, and what message does that send to those who may have been on the fence to follow Jesus or not? Someone is always watching you, whether it be a friend, family, coworker, or one of the kids from Church. Someone is always watching, and how we deal with trials and tribulations, is more important than the worship we give during times of still waters. It is easy to praise God when it’s smooth sailing, but when the going gets tough, that’s when a persons’ true nature is exposed. I’m not saying we don’t struggle during hardships, but ultimately, how strong is your faith? Are you like Peter on the water with Christ? Faithful for a few moments, until the waves crash around you, and you sink? What did Jesus say? “Oh ye of little faith.” Do we have little faith when times get tough? 

We must work on our faith and focus on our attitude and behaviors, and our emotions. I myself struggle with emotional positivity when things get hard. I struggle to stay away from the pity party I often throw for myself, albeit internally. I hide my feelings from many people, and perhaps share too little to others and sometimes too much to some. As I woke up this morning sore from head to toe after putting up the new tent, I find myself struggling to walk around the house. The pain I feel in my back is more than just sore, different from the sore in my legs and arms. While it’s a challenge to get around the house today, the Lord blessed me with the opportunity to work hard, and do something for my family. The replacement for the tent I have lived in for nearly three years arrived and was in need of being put up. A fresh, brand-new tent with no patches, or holes, no leaks, and no extra rope required. I could focus on the fact I am sore and hurting today, or I could focus on the gift from God, for a place to live. No one said following Jesus was easy, and as we see in scripture, hardships come to all who follow God. All of the prophets in scripture had challenges to overcome, David and Solomon had their own challenges, Daniel and Elijah, had their challenges. Peter, Paul, Matthew, and the others had their challenges, and even death. Do we face hardships like Steven does in the book of Acts? Steven in the face of death by stoning said this, Acts 7:60  “Then he knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not charge them with this sin.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep. (Died)” Steven in the last moments of his life, didn’t curse his killers, but asked forgiveness from God to them. It isn’t easy, but we are called to have faith, not just in good times, but in the inevitable hard times. Some people think when you turn to Jesus and you follow him, those hard times will go away, and everything will be great, if you just have enough faith, and tithe. The truth is, this is a false gospel, this is a lie from Satan, that when the hard time does come you walk away from God because it wasn’t as you envisioned. Faith is not easy, and following Christ is hard. There’s a reason it says in scripture to pick up your cross and follow me (Jesus). There’s a reason Jesus tells you there will be trouble in the world, but have faith because He overcame the world. All these things are promised to the believer, and most importantly we know that the path to destruction is wide, while the path to the kingdom of God is narrow, few will enter into it. The path of a Christian is full of hardships and tears, but how great is the Kingdom of eternity, compared to the little while of hardships in this life? 

Today is one more day to do better than the last. Today is a day to rejoice because it is a day the Lord made. We are beautifully and wonderfully made for a purpose and we must turn to God, not to ask why, but in thanks for what we have been given. We have been given life, and an opportunity to Grow closer to Him, to turn to the Father in our time of need, and praise Him in the storm. We know Jesus has the power to calm the storm, but we can’t always expect He will. What we can expect is that Jesus is there with us. Jesus will lead us to the mountain top, or beside peaceful streams, and still waters. Jesus will hold our tears, and comfort us when we are in pain. He will rejoice with us when we rejoice. We do not travel this world alone, and since life is but a vapor compared to eternity with the Father, we should be thankful for the good times, and prepare for battle during the hard times. Face the trials with bravery and courage. Get up each day we are allowed to get up and be thankful for it. No matter where we are, thank God for the opportunity to live our lives worshiping Him and allowing others around us to see God in us. 

God knows what we are going through. God sees our heartache and our hurt. I implore you to bring it all to the table. I beg you, if you are sorrowful, and sad, and angry, bring your weight before the alter, bring it all before a loving and understanding God and put your baggage down. You are accepted before the alter as you are and when you leave everything there, when you lay it all down, and when you surrender to the Lord you leave a different person. The battle is not yours to win, but has already been won by Jesus, our Savior. The battle belongs to Jesus, and while we struggle with life, a place is promised where that hurt, and sorrow doesn’t exist. The burden we carry is not for us, for we are called to trust in the Lord. Psalm 55:22 “Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.” Trust in the Lord and surrender all. Do not carry your burdens alone, for you have been given a choice to trust in God, or try to do it on your own. When you cast your burdens upon the Lord, allow the Holy Spirit to come into your heart, and heal you, change you from the person dead in their sins, but reborn as a believer of Christ. Come as you are, leave changed. 

Years End 2023

Years End 2023

This has been a year of ups and downs. This year I have had some wonderful memories, but also deep hurt. I am happy to say that in April I was married to my best friend. I had the most memorable wedding I could have ever dreamt of. It was full of all things nerd, from Star Trek, to Star Wars, Power Rangers, Lord of The Rings, light saber fights, Titanic, a little Renaissance and elves. It was pretty amazing if I do say so myself, having planned the whole thing. I know, weird for a guy to plan a wedding, but we all have to step up sometimes. The honeymoon was amazing and different to say the least. 

While it has been amazing to have my wife here from the Philippines, I wish I could say this year has been a honeymoon type year, but it has not. From troubles over the summer, to health issues, to financial struggles, to troubles with the tent (that we live in) and then planning for a surgery, it has been a tough year. 

Just a week ago I received a call from my surgeon and the surgery was canceled, and not for a good reason. The surgery would be far more extensive, but because of that, it has to wait, likely for several or more years. Meaning there is nothing we can do to fix the problem now. I have to face the fact my neck is really messed up, and the only fix is not something we can do now. 

Then, there’s the loss of my beloved Cooper. He was 11 years old, and trained as a service dog. While he dropped out of training, he became an amazing therapy dog. He was beloved by the whole family. He was the gentlest, and soft, squishy dog out there. He was very similar to a Squishmellow. His loss has been devastating to me above everyone else. His loss has hurt me more than the rest of the family. While it’s only been a few weeks since his loss, it’s still very near to my broken heart. 

While there have been hardships, I can say God has shown up in a mighty way. God works things out, and while I don’t understand much of what’s transpired this year, I know that God is in control, God is sovereign and as scripture says, Psalm 24:18 “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.”

It seems fitting that today of all days, I am sick. While this year has had some great moments, sadly it has been far outweighed by the hardships. That being said, that’s not always a bad thing. Trials are tough, but it is in these times we need to turn to God. James 1:2-4 “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” I can say with absolute certainty, I have not missed anything this year. While I have often struggled on my veteran’s income to make ends meet, the Lord has provided. I have struggled with a great many things this year, but I have never gone without shelter, or food, friends, and most importantly I have not gone without my lovely wife, my beautiful Filipina bride. She has been such a blessing in my life, a beautiful gift of God’s perfect will for my life. 

I have a great many prayers for this upcoming 2024, and the biggest of those prayers is that my wife continues to grow with the Holy Spirit. It’s that she knows God more, and has a closer relationship to Him. I pray that my family remains safe, happy and healthy. I pray that my wife and I continue to grow together as we put God first and as we get closer to God, we shall grow closer in our marriage. Scripture is clear that God is always the priority. We know as a God-fearing couple, that God comes first before each other. I know that may sound strange to some, but when you look at a triangle if God is at the top, and her and I are each of the bottom points, as we grow closer to God, the distance between us grows closer also. I cannot speak highly enough of my wife and how wonderful and amazing and caring she is. 

In recent months I have worked with Wounded Warrior Project, and I am thankful that I was selected to be a peer mentor for the male Project Odyssey. I have also begun to spend a great deal of time with a local veterans group that does a ton of projects and outreach for our community. I pray that 2024 allows me more time to reach out to more people, share the gospel, and my prayer is to continue to serve, to take the time God has given me and serve more faithfully. I pray that my wife and I study together more, and I can be faithful in my own personal studies. I pray the Lord uses me to grow His kingdom. I pray that the Lord blesses me with a positive outcome for my fight to get my social security benefits so I may better provide for my family. I pray that as things change, I may be able to find a home that isn’t a canvas one, as I still nearly 3 years now, live in a tent. I also pray the Lord continues grow my blog, and I pray the Lord will bless me with the money to get the podcast equipment I need to work on it. Most of all, I just ask that the Lord be with me. I am thankful for Jesus and the sacrifice He made on Cavalry for me. In a whisper thousands of angels were at his disposal and he could have chosen to wipe out the entirety of the earth. Considering how poorly the creator of the universe was treated when he came to this place, when he stepped out of eternity, and came into time. Jesus humbled himself to be born of a woman. He humbled himself to step out of glory and put on flesh. He was born not in an Inn, or at home, or in a palace, but rather in a place where the animals laid, and he himself was laid in a manger, a feeding trough, and covered in swaddling cloth, just simple pieces of cloth ripped from clothing to cover him. Jesus showed us grace and mercy we did not deserve then, and do not deserve now. Jesus was rejected in his own home town of Nazareth. He was rejected by the same people he came to save, and he hung on that agonizing tree he created, to be the spotless lamb for us. He took our place, a sentence of death and Hell we deserved. He did not give us what we deserve and as such, we need to do what is right, and that is to commit ourselves to the Lord. Not just as fire insurance in a savior, but in Lord over all creation. 

Have we humbled ourselves to Jesus as Lord? Have we taken down our selfish pride and need to be in control, and replaced it with selfless service to the Lord Jesus? As we step from 2023 to 2024, the change in the calendar doesn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things, but let us start the year off right. Let us remember the reason we are here and that is to worship and serve a rightness and Holy God. To follow Jesus if he is a lie, you lose nothing. BUT if he is the TRUTH, which he is, and there is plenty of evidence to prove he is, if you do not follow Jesus, you lose everything. Consider the evidence, consider the nature of the Bible, the truth of the life of Jesus, the testimony of lives changed through the work of Christ, and know that He is the Way, the Truth, the Life, and no one gets to the father but through Him. Jesus did not come to be a way to the Father. He did not come so you could live a life your own way, covered in your own sin, and think of God’s law as mere guidelines. If scripture says it’s a sin, then no amount of time or cultural change, will alter the fact that sin is the same yesterday, as it is today, as it will be tomorrow. Sin is treason against a Holy and Righteous God, and must be treated as such. Grace is not justification to sin, and no amount of feelings, will change what sin is. Scripture says to reject sin, so hate your own sin, and flee from it, not get comfy with it and just accept it as normal or right. There is no justification for living in sin. Jesus came to fulfil the law of Moses, to be the substitution for our sins, to rule from the right hand of the father, being our mediator, our high priest, and when Satan goes before the throne, the great accuser and points out our failings, Jesus’s blood covers us, and the father only sees the blood of his son.  Let us start off this next year on the right foot. Let us know Jesus, and more importantly, let us live a life in which Jesus knows and sees us. There will be many people in Hell who knew scripture, who said they knew Jesus, but their heart was in the wrong place. Let us know who He is as Lord, and what can we do to serve Him, not to receive anything in return, but to worship Him because He deserves worship. We do not worship and give so that we may be blessed in return. It is not if you are faithful God will give you everything you want, and if you tithe you will receive bountiful wads of cash in return. If you pray and are faithful enough you will be healed, because none of that is scriptural. 

I leave you with this, 

The FIVE SOLA’s

Sola Gratia- Saved by Grace Alone

Sola Fida – Through Faith Alone

Solus Christus- In Christ Alone

Sola Scriptuara – According to Scripture Alone

Soli Deo Gloria – For the Glory of God Alone 

We are not saved by works, or traditions, or how much we tithe. We are saved by grace, through faith, in the finished works of Christ, according to the word of God (Scripture) and in the Glory of God alone. Have a glorious new year and may God bring blessings upon you, may he create in you a new heart made of flesh. May you be a new creation, and may the Holy Spirit come to you so you may worship and know God. 

Happy New Year 2024. 

The Christmas Fight

The Christmas Fight

To say the least this year has been a tough year. I have struggled with physical issues, issues at home, government agency issues, financial struggles, and more. In just the month of December I have faced the loss of a beloved therapy dog of 11 years, Cooper. I am facing the loss of my home for the last three years, my tent, my man cave, my bat cave, my studio in the great outdoors. After a recent storm, stitching has been damaged and is not able to be repaired. As I prepare for my upcoming surgery, I find myself struggling. I see the world on fire, Israel under attack, Christianity and a Biblical way of life under attack, and I have struggled to not get swept away. I have watched as Christmas has been so watered down, diluted by the Devil, that the meaning of Christmas is getting lost by the great majority. We are about to celebrate the birth of God the man, who was born of a virgin mother, carried for nine months and born in a little town called Bethlehem, Israel. We are about to celebrate the birth of a Jewish man 2020+ years old, in a place, that apparently the world says was only theirs since 1948. When you perpetuate a lie long enough people begin to believe it. I have been struggling with loss these last couple weeks, and through it all, through the hardships, concerns, stressors, I know that there is something more. I have prayed and wondered where the means would come from to replace the existing tent with a new one. I have prayed how I would receive a chair to sit in and recover for this extended recovery time. I have prayed how I would manage over the next nine months, BUT GOD, always has a plan. It’s so easy to get wrapped up on the world, that you forget to look to the one, the only one who can truly do anything about the struggles we go through. 

God has presented a path. We often expect when we follow God that the road is now a smooth path. I consider the tale of Christian in the Pilgrims Progress. A man walking and minding his own business as a good Christian should, when a man named Worldly steps in and shows him a much smoother more glorious looking path. Christian in his naivety follows the path, which nearly leads him to destruction. Our path as a Christian is hard, and uneven, rocky, hilly. Sometimes it will lead us to peaceful rivers, some meadows, and the mountain top, but also the valley. We must learn how to be prepared no matter where we find ourselves. Why people think the world will be an easier place full of prosperity and health and wealth I will never understand. One look at the Apostle Paul who gave up all his wealth and fame, prestige, in exchange for the beatings, the jail cells, the vipers, ship wrecks, did I mention the multiple beatings and stoning? This would all lead to his ultimate beheading, but it seems to me he got the better deal in the end. The Devil may give us all our earthly desires, the same he tempted Christ with, only to keep us from our Lord Jesus. Do we follow Jesus because of what is in it for us, or the fact we are wretched sinners, who deserve death, and Hell, and knowing his sacrifice for us, we can humble beyond our pride, and worship our creator, Lord and Savior? 

The simple fact is, Jesus is with me. He sent his Helper, the Holy Spirit to be with us, and I know that loosing Cooper, loosing my mobility, facing housing challenges, facing off against government agencies, I know the Lord is with me. The devil is trying hard to distract me, to pull me away from Jesus, but God’s grace is sufficient. God trains our fingers for war, and we are soldiers fighting on the front lines. We face off against the commercialism of Christmas. We face off against the lies of those who wish to bury Christianity, and all sense of rationalism. We face off against health and wealth gospels. But we must realize the battle is already won. The end of the story is written. Christ wins the day. And while the story was written when it started, for us it goes back a little more than 2020 years ago when time was split, and a concert was performed in the sky by a multitude of the Host of Heavenly Angels. A line in scripture we often graze over. A bunch of Angels appeared over the shepherds in the sky and sang about Jesus. 

Luke 2:8-14

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,

    and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

This Host, a word that means Army, this Army of the heavenly angels gathered in the sky and sang a glorious concert over the shepherds. These angels stated the divinity of this baby boy. This king who humbled himself out of time, out of heaven, split time in two and took off his glory, and put on flesh, is not just a baby to be celebrated at Christmas, but every day. This baby, became a man, and bore our sins for us. This baby would take the punishment we deserve. This baby would take the beating, the ridicule, the humiliation, the torture, and would in the perfection of time, trade his life for ours. The God-Head prior to the death of Jesus had not experienced death, and for us, even though we didn’t deserve to be saved, He saved us. A loving God came to earth and was born of a poor family, lived a poor life, lost his earthly father at an early life, and had no place to lay his head. Jesus faced the humiliation of putting on this frail and fragile flesh, and allowed it to be broken for us, even though we are enemies of God. WE have since the fall of man, and continue to be guilty of cosmic treason, rebelling in our flesh against God. The Angels sang Glory to God in the highest, and said that the Messiah was Lord. There is no mistaking these words, Jesus and the father are and will always and have been one.

In just a couple days, we will gather with family and friends, we will open presents, and we will share food and laughs, but I ask this, please take a moment out of your day and have a solemn minute to thank God, to thank Jesus for enduring the cross for us. A loving God took upon the most painful experience known to man, the cross, and endured it in its entirety. This word crucifixion in which we get our word excruciating, was taking our place on that rugged cross. Jesus could have said in an instant, he was done with us, done with that cross, and he could have said “I don’t want to do this anymore!” Come off that cross and wiped us off the face of the earth. He instead said “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” He could have not finished the work on the cross knowing we would continue to sin against a righteous and holy God. Instead, he gave up his life for us. He came into time for us. He split time itself, BC/AD, for us. He fulfilled the law, redeemed God’s people, and grafted the gentiles into the heavenly family. 

God has blessed me with much and I know to be grateful for what I have. Has this year been difficult, absolutely, but I know that as a soldier I will struggle. I know that this life isn’t made for us to have it easy, but instead, learn to fight the fight. Learn to turn to God. Scripture never says follow me and all things will be made easy. No, in fact, it says, take up your cross daily, deny yourself, do not be conformed of this world, take up no earthy treasures. As Christians continue to fight the good fight against false teachers, hate, crime, discrimination, and war. I ask you to keep your focus on the light of the world. Take time to see Jesus in this world. As Boromir said (LOTR) “Yes, there is weakness. There is frailty. But there is courage also, and honor, to be found in Men.” Do not lose hope, for even though it seems dark, and hopeless, it is not. Jesus said, “take heart for in this world you will have tribulations, but I have overcome the world.” John 16:33. 

This is a birthday, so let us celebrate it. Let us remember the true meaning of Christmas. It wouldn’t be Christmas without an honorable mention. I have grown in my faith and as such, I have attempted to scale back the use of Santa in my decorations. While I do not begrudge Santa, I am reminded of how Coca-Cola changed the image of Santa. I am reminded of the movie “Miracle on 34th Street” When the spirit of Christmas became so commercial, it has a famous line in the movie. The real Santa, Saint Nicholas, of Asia Minor was known to be particularly generous to children in need. There are dozens of stories of his kindness and generosity. The truth, he was imprisoned for his faith. He also is said to have punched a heretic in the face for speaking falsely about God. The true memory of Santa is something to be read about and celebrated. While I do enjoy the occasional movie about Santa, let us remember the real Santa knew Jesus and exhalated Christ. Let us remember this is about the birth of our savior, not the toys, and baubles. It’s about the miracle of a virgin birth, a child entering by woman, grown from an embryo, in the fullness of time, Jesus was born the God/Man. Let us have a safe and very Merry CHRISTmas. Let us put the Christ back in Christmas. Let us celebrate this Jewish man, born over 2000 year ago, in a place ravaged by war and strife today. I am broken hearted this Christmas, but I know Jesus holds my tears, and one day, I will cry no more tears, will suffer no more, because of the life that started as a little baby born, who’s cry broke 400 years of silence. Praise God, thankful to our King, Lord, and Savior. 

Merry CHRISTmas to all, and may blessings be upon you. 

A Scream In The Car

A recent night, things came to a head and I found myself about to leave the house on an emergency run to Walmart. Before leaving I had to let out the anger and frustration inside. I took a deep breath and let out the long scream from my lungs. Knowing hardships come and dealing with them does not free us of those frustrations or anger during hardships. Hardships come to all, and as Christians we expect it. Jesus faced unimaginable hardships, persecution, torture and death. James 1:2-4 2 “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”

The trials I have had these last couple weeks have tested my patience and have forced me to dig deep into my faith. It has been a challenge but I know the difficulties will pass, the storm shall calm, and I will have grown from the challenges and persevered against an enemy that means to destroy me. Have faith my brothers and sisters, and keep fighting the good fight.

Prayers for Israel 

Prayers for Israel 

It’s been 3 days since Hamas entered into Israel. Reports have come out showing the brutal treatment of non-combatants in Israel. While I am not surprised at what I’ve seen, it has confirmed to me who the prince of this world is. Whose domain is this? The Devil’s domain is thriving. When I hear about a pregnant woman was found murdered with her fetus outside her body, still attached to the umbilical cord, also dead. Video of women raped, and murdered. Children murdered. These things are being documented on video, and cannot be denied. Then, on Sunday, a protest on the streets of New York saying Israel deserved what happened. I have seen members of the senate and congress that have shown support for Hamas. While as a person I have a hard time understanding how anyone can support such events, but looking back at WWII, there were some that did indeed support the Nazi’s and what they were doing, to the point of blaming the Jews. 

Esther 3:3 “Dispatches were sent by couriers to all the king’s provinces with the order to destroy, kill and annihilate all the Jews—young and old, women and children—on a single day, the thirteenth day of the twelfth month, the month of Adar, and to plunder their goods.” 

This is not a new thing, as we see in scripture the desire to destroy the Jews, God’s chosen people. Pharoah in scripture enslaved the Jews and we see some instances of harsh treatment, as why Moses was exiled, who stepped in to save a Jew, killing the Egyptian. We see Hitler, and other Islamic groups vowing to kill Jews. The Hamas charter specifies the hatred and vow to kill and slaughter Jews. Support for the idea to kill and slaughter and massacre Jews from places like the Ivy League colleges here in this very country, is sickening. People have been dehumanizing Jews in greater droves in recent history since the atrocities of the Holocaust. People have shown publicly how little they value human life. 

We as America have supported Iran, who just moments of this writing publicly support the hands that carried out the attack on Israel, Hamas. As I said, as a person I have a hard time understanding the support for these actions, as a Christian I do not. People are sinners, and those who do not know Jesus (God) do not have the same value of human life. People who do not know God, easily minimize evil, and turn blame away from the attacker, and blame the victim who did nothing to provoke the attack. 

Where are those who were upset over George Floyd, Asian attacks, the war on Ukraine? Where are they now when Jews were massacred on live stream? They are speaking out now saying the Jews have only themselves to blame. We have seen a stark change in the way we as a society think, especially about good and evil. 40 babies were found murdered by Hamas. Pure evil. Scripture is clear on this: 

Isaiah 5:20

Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil;

Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness;

Who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!

We are indeed seeing this yet again in our present. These attacks are indeed the work of evil people. Italian citizens have been kidnapped, Americans, and many other nations had people killed in the attacks. These are not just enemies of Jews, for Hamas wants to kill all non Islamic faith. This means, Christians, Atheist, Buddhist, Hindu, and others. This is evil, and attacks of the Devil. It is our responsibility to support and pray for Israel. 

Psalm 122:6 

Pray for the peace of Jerusalem:

“May they prosper who love you.

How can we stand by and do nothing? “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” (Unknown) 

Scripture tells us: 

James 4:17

Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.

I am not a fan of war, especially when it has such a long-lasting effect on everyone involved worldwide. While I am not saying we should go to war with Hamas, what I am saying, we should not, and cannot sit on the sidelines and just watch. We as a nation need to vow aid and support. We have Americans killed, and likely hostages taken, and as a nation we need to act decisively.

Scripture says

Romans 12:18 

If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.

Israel did not bring upon this attack, especially not on non-combatants. The United States, and others did not bring this attack, but terrorism has no place in the world. We are not called to turn the other cheek in this kind of attack. We must show support, and we must pray for guidance going forward. We cannot support the enemies of Israel, and we must have a change in policy, and we must focus on allies. We are not to take war unjustly, but we are able to defend ourselves. We are on high alert here in the U.S. and all we can do is prepare and pray, in the event more attacks are carried out, potentially here. Pray without ceasing and hope for the best, prepare for the worst. 

The Lord is sovereign over all, and even in dark times, we know God is still with us.