Tag: God’s Grace

The Week My Heart Stopped

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The Week My Heart Stopped

First of, I’m a 40 year old male, with no history of heart problems. My story is one that highlights the power and sovereignty of God. I suppose to understand, one must venture to the beginning, as to fully grasp the situation. The details are an important part of the story. June 19th was the last day of VBS (Vacation Bible School) at church. One of the youth, and a kid I’ve known for many years approached me with a challenge, a foot race. Having a bad knee, and knowing I’m not supposed to run, it’s odd that I accepted his challenge to begin with. A few months prior I had found out I had a hernia on the right side of my groin. One more reason to say no, but I didn’t. Against what would have been better judgement, I said okay. The foot race commenced and I won. A victory over someone, someone so young, was short lived as the next day I was in the hospital. That hernia decided to bulge, leaving me unable to walk. When the doc came in to ‘fix’ it, I was grateful. The conversation ended with me going along with what turned out to be double ingroinal hernia surgery. Not one but two hernias. This would not take place till October however, so I had the rest of the summer to enjoy.

The hernia surgery came on the 28th of October. It was a quick surgery and a success. That is, till a single day later when the gas from the surgery migrated up to my right shoulder, causing significant pain. During the CT scan, something odd was seen, not of the gas but with my heart. My Aorta was not the right size. I was sitting in my room waiting for the doctors and when one came in, it would quickly become a whole ordeal. Several more doctors from different departments would grace my bedside. A plan was being formulated for priority open heart surgery. How did I go from hernia surgery to open heart surgery in a day? It turned out, that my aorta root was a bit larger than it should. Surgery threshold is 5.5 cm, but my root measured around 6.3. As it turned out, I had what is known as a ‘Bicuspid’ valve. When someone has this defect, their muscles, and ligaments can sometimes be super stretchy. Could this be the problem with my neck and my knee? Perhaps. Surgery would be set for Nov 22nd. Just less than a month later after hernia surgery. The amount of scans and tests I had to do in the meantime kept me very busy. Unfortunately I was not able to prepare everything for the heart surgery as I had attempted to do for the hernia surgery. Being the man of the house meant I did the heavy lifting. Planning for two months was not only expensive, but took a great deal of thought. Going into hernia surgery I felt prepared to be limited for a while. Going into heart surgery left me feeling wholly unprepared.

The 22nd came, and my nervousness showed in all my blood pressure tests. The morning was early, and I had once again found myself in surgery safety prep on the fourth floor of the VA hospital in Durham NC. Some familiar faces graced my bedside as I was shaved from my shoulders to my feet. I had already had to shave my beared the night before which was difficult, and I shaved my head as well, completely changing the way I looked just 24 hours prior. Long thin hair, and a long beard, now gone. Surgery prep seemed to go pretty quick this time. Before I knew it, most of my team was at my bedside for one final walkthrough of my case. The heart model I took for them to sign was signed, my last will and testament was submitted, and i was as ready as I could be.

Four hours was all the time the doc needed to replace my aorta root, the valve, and stem. A rock star of the aorta valve replacement world. A surgery that would normally take 8 hours he did in 4. That night they would start to wake me up, and I remember still having the ventilator tube down my throat. At first I was okay, but the longer they took to remove it, while I was awake, the more I began to panic. My mind said get it out, even though it was doing the breathing for me, I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. The tube was removed, and my memory foggy. I remember family being at my bedside, and a friend. The meds I was on, quickly put me back to sleep, till I was awoken the next morning to walk. Having multiple chest tubes, and an external temporary pacemaker, It took everything I had to get out of bed. I gripped my heart pillow with all the minuscule strength I had. Finally they got me up, I walked, and then I was back to the chair. In reality, I don’t remember much except being silly with my friend who was there, and my supportive bride. The medication they had me on was pretty strong and kept me in a fairly high state. By Tuesday, it seemed there might be something wrong. My heart wasn’t responding to being woken up. Test after test showed my heart was not responding and not functioning on it’s own without the pacemaker. Wednesday came, and the test was a 12 lead EKG, while they turned off the pacemaker. Essentially, they needed to see what was wrong, and what my heart was doing.

Wednesday, five days after heart surgery. The room was cleared so no one would see what happened, at my request. The leads were attached, and the nurse held my hand. The EKG started. Then, the countdown began, 3…2…1… and the pacemaker was turned off. My eyes couldn’t stay open, as I lost consciousness. My heart stopped. The test only kept the pacer off for 3 seconds, but for those 3 seconds, my heart stopped, and I was aware of it. I could feel the lightheadedness, the lack of oxygen flowing through my body. I could feel my body giving up the fight to stay awake. Within moments, I regained semi consciousness, and a few moments later it was better, but tears flowed down my face. How could life had come to this? By Friday I was scheduled to have a pacemaker installed. I am only 40 years old, and I have an artificial heart valve, and a device keeping my heart pumping. How could life have come to this? The answer is simple really, and can be found in scripture.

As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him.

— John 9:1-3

This wasn’t something God was doing to me, but something God saved me from. After a talk with one of my surgeons, I would find that the valve could have failed at any time. The valve description used was ‘gnarly’. So, in reality, both the valve, and the root were ticking time bombs. The root could have dissected, split open at any time. My plans were to be in the Philippines for Christmas this year. Instead I found myself having this surgery. God, has been in the details all year. From the original finding of the hernia, to the foot race, forcing my hand for surgery, to the gas going into the chest, which was fairly uncommon, to the incidental finding of my aorta on a scan not looking specifically at my heart. These things are too many coincidences to be considered coincidences. If the universe were truly chaos and random, then the odds of this many events culminating in life saving surgery, would be unlikely. But, that’s not how an Almighty God works. God saved my life, again. While my recovery has been difficult, and having the pacemaker adds extra challenges, the truth is, I was given the gift of life for Christmas.

This revelation of God’s sovereignty and grace, does not take away the hardships of heart surgery. It doesn’t take away the emotions left behind in it’s wake. When your body feels foreign, and broken, it’s easy to lose sight of the big picture. Yes, I am bored at home, and walking is a challenge because there is no place good to walk inside. Being too cold outside, has made recovery a challenge. Having to put my car in the shop the day after being released from the hospital, and having a $3000 dollar car repair, right before Christmas, has left me feeling a bit down. The Devil has thrown much at me since my time home from the hospital. It isn’t just the body that needs to heal after this kind of surgery, but the mind as well. I have found myself struggling needing help with everything I do. I have felt like a burden, a waist of time, weak. I have felt sorry for myself a time or too also. The struggle to do what is necessary for the recovery of mind and body is not one easily found where I live. I live too far from the local mall to walk. We have no recreation centers with indoor tracks. We have no large stores other than a small Walmart and a Lowe’s which neither sound appealing to walk. I have some ideas I may implement soon, money though is the question. I know the Lord provides all we need, I question if something is a need or a want.

I am slowly recovering physically, but I do believe the recovery is still a long ways away. God being in the details gives me hope that there is a reason for His saving my life yet again. The time bomb in my chest was diffused, and I now have time to do whatever the Lord wishes. Both the valve and the root could have given way at any moment, but God stopped me from going across the world, to have this surgery, and I know there has to be a reason. I don’t know why God gave me this pace maker, but this too is part of the Lords plan. I have said before, ‘all we can do with the time given to us is choose how we reply to each moment of our lives.’ We don’t have a say in what happens to us much of the time. We can’t change what people say or do in our lives, except try to live as Godly as possible. Living for Christ, and making decisions based on what we think would be pleasing to Him is truly all we can do.

It astounds me to think just a few weeks ago my entire chest was cracked open, exposed to the world. My heart was in the hands of a stranger. The gift of life this Christmas came at the hands of God. God didn’t have to give us warning something was wrong. God could have just taken me home. For whatever reason, God saw fit to save my earthly life, and here I am fighting the good fight for the Lord of Lords still. God works in mysterious ways for sure, and while I do not know why it is God has seen fit to save my life, yet again, I will continue to serve the best I can. Sometimes it’s hard to raise a hallelujah. Sometimes it’s all we can do do get out those words to praise a Holy God. Sometimes the world has done a number on us, and we’re down on our knees for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes it’s hard to hear the voice of God through the noise of the world. Sometimes it’s a storm tossed ship, wrecked and ravaged by the nature of this world. It’s in these moments, that we must raise the hallelujah. It’s these times we must praise God even more, and turn to Him for guidance and peace. Sometimes it’s a hard fought hallelujah, but in the battle we know it doesn’t belong to us. We know that Jesus already won the battle. The mighty victory cry he cried on the cross, ‘tetelestai’, or it is finished. This single word is more than just it is finished, but rather, the contract is complete, the battle is completely won, the bill is completely paid for. This was used in business, the debt is fully paid, judgment in court, sentence fully served, and the battle is fully won. How great is it to know that Jesus won our battles. The battle today is not of my own, or your own. We bare the cross yes, but Jesus already won the battle. The story we are in is already complete and will one day end. We see the battle, but Jesus sees our victory. When we see the deep valley, Jesus sees the triumph at the end of the road. We must take our troubles, and sorrows to the one who can do something about it, our Lord, our Savior, Jesus the Christ. We fight not against flesh and blood but in the spiritual realm of our souls. The Devil may break our bodies, he may attack our stuff, but what remains behind is our souls. Prayer is often underutilized. We often forget we have the ability to talk directly to the sovereign of the universe. We will suffer in this world, this was promised. Being a Christian, being a member of ‘the way’ is not one for the faint of heart. Jesus told us in scripture, it would take everything we have. Matthew 16:24 Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.” To pick up your cross meant to die to yourself. To do so publicly as the world would see you carry your cross. It meant to be ostracized by society. It meant to kill away your sins inside yourself daily. To give up your own pride, and your own selfish ambitions, to give your life to the Lord, and to do so publicly, unafraid. We are told the path to the Father is a narrow one, and many would rather chose or walk the wide path of destruction.

Life is going to be full of hardships, and despite those hardships, Jesus won our battle. Jesus fought the fight, and won. He defeated sin, and we have eternal hope. People want to talk about love is love, but true love is telling someone the truth. Jesus said he didn’t come to unite, but to divide us. The truth is, 2000 years ago, the Devil lost his fight when Christ became victorious over death. We have not seen the last of the war, but we know that Christ wins the war. People often think of Jesus as sweet baby Jesus, or hippy Jesus. The truth is, when Christ comes back, it will not be for earthly peace. When Jesus returns, it’ll be to bring righteous war upon the world that has rejected Him, in His perfect judgment for the sins of the world. We do not know the time of His return, but we are called to be ready for it. Jesus will return, sword in hand, and with the legions of Angels He commands, will fight to destroy the remaining evil in the world. The bowl judgments will pour out upon humanity, the trumpets will sound, and eventually God will reverse creation, wiping out all what we know, and He will rebuild. Jesus, the Lion of Judah, is not a hippy love is love Jesus. Jesus said, if you love me you will follow my commandments, so we are to love God’s commandments, and not just the ones we like. Is this life hard? It sure is, but we have a God who understands. We have a God that put on flesh to understand our sufferings. Count it all joy my brethren when you endure trials. Swords must be tempered in fire. Gold purified in the fiery furnace. Steel for everything we use is forged. Why would we be any different? Jesus told us the truth, that this life is hard. He loved us enough to show us the truth in His sacrifice. It would be easy if Jesus said, ‘you’re life would be a piece of cake’. That however wouldn’t be the truth. Some so called pastors say this, but it’s a lie from the Devil. We are soldiers, so let us soldier up, and get back into the fight. When the Devil starts shooting those arrows at you, cover behind the shield God gave you. Then when the time is right, spring forward, sword raised high, and push forward. We are soldiers on the battlefield, and it’s full of death, destruction, hardships, but we have the might of God, and the Angels on our side. Keep fighting, because inside you is a roaring lion. The spirit of God, the spirit of courage, bravery, and a spirit of hope, we are soldiers in this life. Fight on, and never quit. The truth of God is all around us, we just have to look around. We see His truth in the complexity of the plants, animals, our own bodies, the universe. We will emerge victorious, because Jesus is victorious.

God saved my life, and I know that I’ve been saved by the blood. I’ve been given life, and I will not let the Devil win. I will not let the demons whispering in my ear to quit, win. I will not stop preaching and teaching His mighty word. I will crawl if I have to, but I’ll keep going. My life is in God’s hands, and I was a soldier in this earthly life, I am a soldier for God, and my family I will keep my Armor tight, and show them, not my strength, but the strength God has given to me. I am saved, born again, washed by the water. Hallelujah to my Lord, this is a long hard fought Hallelujah. Let God have the Glory in my life. Why am I going through these hardships? So God would be glorified through it. Let us turn to God and show him the praise and worship, only He deserves. One day I will be recalled from this duty station. One day, the Lord will say my watch is over. One day Jesus will tell me, well done soldier, now rest. One day I will take up residence where I truly belong. One day, I will see what I’ve been fighting for this whole time. I long for that day, but for now, I will serve God faithfully here. I will fight for my family. I will be the spiritual head of my home. I will fight back against the Devil, I will resist with all my might, and protect my family. My service isn’t over yet, and God saving my life, not once, not twice, but three times or more, tells me He still has plans for me. Into the battle, He’s prepared my fingers for war. Let us pick up the shield, the sword, and let us go do some work. Fight the good fight soldiers of Christ, your not done yet.

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Protecting Our Witness (podcast)

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Join me as we do a short podcast; talking about our witness, and keeping forgiveness in our hearts.

The Arrow Preacher Podcast: Friday: Protecting Our Witness Podcast
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Complete Easter (Resurrection) Message

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Follow my podcast for the Easter message. Good Friday, the in between, and Resurrection Sunday

The Arrow Preacher Podcast: Good Friday
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The Arrow Preacher Podcast: The Inbetween
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The Arrow Preacher Podcast: It is EMPTY! (He’s Not Here)
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Good Friday.

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Hey everyone. Join my podcast today. A Good Friday message.

The Arrow Preacher Podcast: Good Friday
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Snowed In With No Where To Go

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Snowed In With No Where To Go

I took a quick peek outside this morning to see the world was white, frozen, and not just snow cold, but ice cold. With the around 11 inches of snow that fell yesterday, the night turned to freezing rain, and then proceeded to do so all night. I consider all I have to do in and around the house, especially with my homework, and I quickly decided the snow was not a detriment, but a blessing. The freshness of it as it blankets the ground, and the bouncing light reflecting off of every flake on the ground. A winter wonderland that sparkles in the night, and what a nice remember of the power of God. Isaiah 1:18 (NKJV) 18“Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the Lord, “Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool.”

It’s amazing how highly we think of ourselves. We run around every day and somehow we become the center of the universe. The moment bad things happen to use we call for an emergency meeting of the minds to hash out how and why this bad thing happened. The phrase “I’m a good person so why is this happening to me!?” Jesus Christ was a perfect person and look what happened to him. We aren’t good people, and as soon as we understand that the better. We are all deserving of the fiery pits of Hell, simply because we commit cosmic treason on a daily basis. We aren’t good people because in our hearts we sin against God every day. We sin every day, and not always by our actions, but by our hearts. We often forget that sin doesn’t start with an action it starts with a thought. Sin starts in the heart, and the very moment it comes to the surface no matter how quickly we push it back down, the sin is committed. We are stained red and we still think bad things should never come our way.

For many years I was having a long running feud with God. I was sick and tired of so many bad things happening to me all the time. I was tired of the hits, one right after another, and in my own short sightedness I couldn’t see or understand how I might be getting prepared for something further down the road. When God can see the beginning and the end, we get upset over the thing right now, but we miss how important that thing is tomorrow. I look back at my life, and while I can say I don’t love everything I’ve been through, I can understand it. My only major regret is how my actions and sins have been a reflection in the mirror for me to look at.

Thankfully for us, no matter how deeply we sin, or how much that sin hurts God, we are forgiven for it, they are washed away and we are made white as snow again. What a wonderful gift we are given every winter as a reminder of God’s grace and mercy. If you’re snowed in like I am, just take a look around and enjoy the beauty of God’s painting. Remember the blessings you have, and the forgiveness of our sins. 

I Have A Dream

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I Have A Dream

John 17:3“And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.”

What do you want tomorrow? Where do you want to be, not in this walk on Earth but in your walk with God? I have a dream for God to look at me and say “Well Done.” I look to grow in wisdom of the Lord. God created man in the likeness of himself, not by the way we look, but by our spirit of love, a spirit of compassion, of giving, and the ability to grow I have a dream for my epitaph to read “He walked with God” I have a dream to not live a hundred years without, but as many days that I have with God. It’s better to walk with God for a short while to spend eternity with God, rather then any number of years to live with Earth as your kingdom only. 

I have a dream to leave a legacy of God’s love for generations after me. I have a dream to live my life in a way my father, my Abba, would be proud of me. To have God extend his perfect hands with the hole still piercing His flesh, to ask me to join Him on this journey. Jesus says come for everything is ready. Jesus wants to walk with a sinner like me. So here I sit, I have a dream to hold on to Christ’s hand a little tighter. I have a dream to grow closer to God of the universe because as imperfect as I am I have a paid for ticket to enjoy an eternal life free from persecution, war, famine, bullies, pain, suffering, heartbreak, and when the Lord comes He will wipe away the last tear I should ever cry. I have a dream that the day I kneel humbly before the cross I shall hold my invitation in my heart and God will tell me “welcome home”

How great is God to love a sinner, a wretched, hypocrite like me. God is so amazing that I do not have to live this life with a spirit of fear, but a spirit of courage to stand tall and firm in this life against the wiles of the Devil. God calls us to walk with Him, to grow from the baby Christian to be a warrior Christian.

I have a dream to draw others to God by walking differently in this life, that people notice so I may be able to show the love of Jesus with as many as I can. I have a dream to dive into the word of God, so I may be approved not by man, but approved by my Heavenly Father.

I have a dream to see the gates of Heaven and know that I am welcomed home. I have a dream to rid my flesh of weakness, and to stand strong in this war all around us. I have a dream to strengthen others in God’s love, to show them a better way, to show them truth, the only truth, that God, the God of the universe, creator of Heaven and Earth, and that they are loved so completely by the creator. I have a dream to show what God has blessed me with, not to raise myself in status, but to show how powerful, how gracious, how forgiving God is. I have a dream that all people would come to know the Father, and trust in Him.

I have a dream to see my loved ones in Heaven, to see their perfect selves, to feel close to God, and be surrounded by nothing but light and joy. I have a dream to one day be welcomed home, and know that all the years in this life will have been worth the pain and suffering, and I shall no longer worry about the fight, as I will be able to finally rest. I have a dream to count my days in the fullness of God’s love and mercy and grace, and have joy all my days of this life. 

I don’t Have Time to Beef With You

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I don’t Have Time to Beef With You

I’m dealing with my own demons. Don’t pick a fight with me, Satan that means you. I have suffered long, and wondered why. I have struggled over the years wondering what I was going to do with the pain and anger I had pent up for over two decades. I started to realize recently that I had been living my life a certain way, and I wasn’t treating myself with very much respect. I think when you allow people to treat you a certain way, and when you allow people to disrespect you, shame on them for what they do, but when you allow them to do it shame on you. I was disrespecting myself by standing by and watching the cycle repeat over and over again. Now I look around me and I start to question where I stand with others, but I find I no longer want to fight what I believe is to be a loosing battle. I do not want to split my time by trying to keep alive what I should probably let die.

 

I cannot say for certain what exactly I’m meant to learn in this season, but if I had to take a guess I’m meant to be more fruitful with my time. If time is a resource and if I’ve been wasting it on others, it begs to reason God is removing my distractions from my life by force since I seemed unwilling to do that on my own. Regardless of the purpose I have found I no longer feel the drive to turn my attention to those that willfully disregard my feelings. Romans 8:28 ESV“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”

 

I know that Satan has been coming and going for a while in my life, and has been causing many negative feelings, and doubts. I have decided I do not want to feel the way I do anymore. I find myself hurt and sometimes angry with those whom I gave my love and affection, my attention, and my time, when I didn’t get the same in turn. I know that a part of me is angry, but I know scripture tells me to put those feelings away, to get rid of them with hatred of the negative feelings. Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Struggling is a natural thing for us sinful creatures, but we must continue to work on our feelings, and to try and rid ourselves of bitterness, wrath, and anger. I will not be baited into a beef with Satan, or anyone else for that matter. I will follow the Lord, and if someone doesn’t like who I’ve become, or cannot support me in my endeavors, I will walk away, and pray for those who choose to walk away from me. Time will tell who is left when the dust settles.

God’s In Everything

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God’s In Everything

It’s an amazing feeling knowing that God is in every situation I find myself. Having that faith affirmed is so powerful, I often find it hard to put into words. I know that for whatever reason Christ has a plan for me, a plan to make a difference. I always wanted to make a difference in this world, and after 34 years, a few near death experiences, a few divine interventions, and a whole lot of tears, I finally have made it through the fire to see what all the training was for. In every one of my trials, I have begged God for reasons. Recently I watched as a situation in my life made full circle. A man I never met was at the hospital with my ex-inlaws two years ago. He knew who I was by proxy, and two years later we are united by God’s wonderful plan. I find myself sitting in an office of someone I had never met, but who was praying for me knowing I was gripping to life. How wonderful and small this world is, that in the midst of tragedy God is working things out so out of the ashes a diamond may shine. God waists nothing, and we should remember that it may not be the next day, week, or even a year after a tragedy, but at some point in your life, if you’re walking with Christ, you may find a purpose for it. One day I would like to thank those who were with me this whole week two years ago. I would like to express my deepest gratitude for the hands that helped keep me in this world. I cannot express adequately how I feel, but I know that in my heart, I will be able to honor their service, by serving myself.

Scripture talks about service, and serving others. Luke 6:35 (NKJV) 35“But love your enemies, do good, and lend, [a]hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil.” Service is laying yourself down before God and going where you’re wanted. God never needs us, but if we are delighted at the opportunity to be used by Christ, we should feel honored and humbled to do so. Those in ministry rarely get the thanks deserved, the pay equal to the work that goes in, or the honors that ought to be rendered for their sacrifice to selfless service, but at the foot of the cross those works will not go forgotten. When people serve others, no matter if it’s emergency services, military, or ministry, rarely do the affirmations come along, but God gives enough to keep you moving. Serving is not for the faint of heart, and nor is it for the accolades, but once in a while when you hear how the service of Christ has affected another it’s beautiful.

Philippians 4:8 (NKJV)8 “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” We don’t always know where we must go, or what we must do. It’s important to take time to pray about God’s path for us, so we may open our minds, and our hearts to the Holy Spirit, and listen as we are guided along the path. We know from scripture that those who seek power are foolish, and those who choose to serve are the light of the Lord. Matthew 20:28 “just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” This sentiment is played out by Christ more then once in scripture. Christ is saying here that anyone who dreams of being first ought to be a slave to the last. In John 13:12-1712 “So when He had washed their feet, taken His garments, and sat down again, He said to them, “Do you [b]know what I have done to you? 13 You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you. 16 Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him. 17 If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.” Jesus shows the disciples that no one is above another. No one is greater then another. This is an act of humility shown to us by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Whether we are serving others or being served by others, we must always remember that anyone we come into contact with is a Child of God and we must act accordingly. Everyone we meet we have an opportunity by divine appointment to show compassion, grace, mercy, and kindness. If we don’t get a chance to talk about Christ we must always be a representative and hold ourselves accordingly. We truly are no better then another even if we think we are. We don’t always know what someone is going through, and we have an opportunity as part of God’s wonderful plan to change someone’s day just by being nice. Someone who didn’t know me two years ago prayed for me, and now two years later, I was in his office talking about a position within the very organization that he runs. We never know how things will turn out, so we must act accordingly in every instance.

 

 

They All Leave

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They All Leave

It has dawned on me that in the last two weeks I have watched people who have left my life as quickly as they entered. I have found a hidden talent in m life to somehow push everyone away. I haven’t been able to figure out if it’s what I say, how I say it, or some other combination. It’s hard not to feel as if somehow I am at fault. Time is a constant for us, but sometimes we can get stuck reliving a moment in the past. The past can define our thoughts about ourselves and create unrealistic expectations. The expectations we place on others, or how we see ourselves when something goes wrong can be a place in history that we never left.

When we consider life and it’s ups and downs, the biggest thing we must learn, and the sooner the better, our value, our worth, our joy must all start and end with Jesus Christ. We have received the best gift ever in any lifetime, the gift of grace and love in the blood of Christ. Christ so loved the world that He willingly sacrificed himself for us, whom He clearly loved. No matter what we face in our lives the direction we must always turn is Christ. That’s not to say there won’t be times when you need a doctor for your mental health, no different then if you were to break your arm, or something else. At the center of every storm is an anchor that keeps you grounded, the anchor knowing that Jesus is with you. Feeling alone is something we all have, some more then others, and in reality some people truly are alone. We are given only so many chances to tell the people we love that we love them. We have become a people intolerant, quick to snap, swift to anger, abrupt to leave people in our lives at the slightest cause. With no accountability, no feeling of the hurt inflicted upon others, a new social norm has entered into the world.

We have forgotten how to treat others. We have forgotten the love that Jesus taught, and we have forgotten what love is. We are to love our brothers and sisters. We are to treat others with respect and with love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NKJV)4 “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not [a]puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, [b]thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” If love is endured through all things, and it’s patient, why are we so quick to turn our backs on someone we called friend, or worse, someone we told we loved. Hebrews 10:24-2524 “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, 25 not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.” How often do we gather to lift up someone else up? How often do we put our own needs aside for those of someone else?

In the instruction we are given by Paul Ephesians 4:1-3 (NKJV) “I, therefore, the prisoner [a]of the Lord, [b]beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, 2 with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, 3 endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” We are to humble ourselves, giving ourselves up to Christ, and in our humble state, going forth to lift up others, to pass on the love that was shared for each and every one of us.

It’s not an easy thing loosing so much and keeping the faith. It’s not an easy thing loosing the love you had and trying to understand and find purpose in it. It’s not easy telling yourself you’re special when you feel you’re not. It’s not easy facing pain and loss and telling yourself that Jesus loves you and that love is never ending. It’s hard facing life every day feeling used, abused, worthless, and as I often felt in my past, a piece of used up garbage thrown away with yesterday’s trash. There is a brighter tomorrow but it has to start with your heart. It has to start with the forgiveness to those who’ve done harm to you, and let go of the pain you feel inside. Even though the past is behind you it can feel like it still has a hold of you. The battles you may face could turn to those of the past that seem to hold you as the months and years continue to pass by. People don’t define who you are. People are fickle, judgmental, emotional creatures, and the only opinion you can truly count on is that of the Lord. We must build our confidence trusting in the Lords work, knowing that we were created for a purpose, and that purpose is not to be worthless. God never makes mistakes and in His perfection, created each and every one of us for an intention of love, change, and hope we can bring by living in Christ’s love. Do you want to be remembered as the person who loved, or the person who left? Do you want to be remembered as someone who was patient and caring, or do you want to be remembered as the person as rash, and harsh? We all have choices to make in our lives, and no one can make them for us. We choose who we want to be, and how we want to be remembered. The instructions to living a good life, an honorable life is right there in the scripture of the Holy Bible, but so few ever truly take the time to read it. So few ever take the time to study and understand the meaning of life that’s spelled out in those pages. Instead we want to go our own way, walk our own path, and try to do things the way we want, that we rarely care who we hurt along the way, so long as ‘I’ am happy. What is your happiness worth? Is happiness worth sacrificing others for it? Is a difference of opinion so horrible that we can abandon all hope of friendship? Do we not owe one another an honest explanation to why we hurt them? It’s so easy to have a conversation but we have become cowardly in this life. We run from anything that might be hard, or even perceived as difficult. We forsake the meaning of friendship, and dishonor the meaning of love. At least Jesus didn’t give up on us. At least our savior knew how sinful, and awful we could be, and in the dying breaths still forgave us of our sins, our trespasses, our constant ability to fall short of what we ought to be. No matter how awful we can be, Christ loved us enough to give everything for us, so we could make a simple choice, to follow, or not. No one will ever make our choices for us, but our actions will speak for our character. As Martin Luther King Jr. once said, that his dream was for his “four little children will one day be judged not by the color of the of their skin, but by the content of their character.”  We now live in a world where people no longer care about the content of their character, so what is it we care about? The answer is sad, we care about self. We no longer care about the bonds of friendship, or the bond of holy matrimony, instead we care about our own happiness, we care only about what makes us feel good, and at a tiny drop of anything unpleasant we now abandon anything, and anyone. How far we’ve come from the teachings of Christ. How far we’ve fallen into the hands of Satan, and the only way out is the truly take a deep, long, hard look in the mirror and ask, who do I serve, is it God above, or is it the person staring back at you in the mirror?

 

 

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It’s a wonderful thing to be able to share the blessings and teachings of Christ with all of you. For those who read my works in Christ, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Recently I came across an amazing home business based in Travel and Entertainment that’s the real deal. The savings found through this business are amazing. If you shop online, like to go to movies, or travel, this gift card for you can save you up to 50%. Please enjoy your gift as a symbol of my appreciation and gratitude. God Bless.

When the World Is Just Weird

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When the World Is Just Weird

I was talking to someone very important in my life today. They stood up for me in a big way, and said some very nice things. I don’t generally get a lot of positive reinforcement in my life, and over the last two years of so many rejections I’ve lost count, I have come to appreciate the positive stuff when it does come my way. Sometimes our blessings can come from the strangest of places. Once in a while a hidden gem shines through and the brilliant light that glimmers is a reminder that God is always working even when times seem the most bleak. It’s not always easy to see the silver lining in the storm. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed with the bad things, the continual crashing of the waves as we are just bobbing in the water trying to stay afloat. When all we can taste is the salt, and the roar of the waves drowns out our own screams for help, we have to remember that somewhere out there is a rescue swimmer ready to pull us out. I heard a saying one time that God is doing one of three things. 1. He’s walking along side you. 2. He’s pushing you along. 3. He’s dragging you out of the battle zone. See, we aren’t ever alone, and even when we feel like we are, we don’t know who’s about to come into our lives, or what’s going on in someone’s life to give you a little encouragement.

We know that this life isn’t easy, and that sometimes it’s just downright unfair. The thing about life though is we are told from the beginning that it’s not fair, and we should expect it. 1 Peter 4:12-13 “12 Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; 13 but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy.” Partaking in Christ’s sufferings… That’s a powerful statement, and one I would say we miss more often then not. When we think of the crucifixion we think of the beating Christ took. Most of us has seen The Passion of the Christ, and how brutal the Romans were. The fact is, Christ did endure the worst kind of torture any of us could imagine, and then was forced to carry his own cross for miles to the place where he would be nailed and tied to it before being lifted up where his full weight would be pulling down causing extreme agony, and a struggle to breathe. All of this however isn’t the true suffering. While this was an attack on his physical body, the attack of the soul was far more upsetting. Christ was both son of, and God at the same time. These are 3 distinct parts of the trinity when added to the Holy Spirit. Each of the parts separate, but together as one. We have a hard time understanding this concept, but in reality, if mortals could understand it, then God wouldn’t be God. Jesus grew up his whole life as part of that Holy Trinity. While we don’t know much about his early life, we do know he was teaching at the Temples early in his life. He spoke with the authority of a high priest, yet only a boy with such knowledge and understanding of the Holy Scriptures. We don’t know if he showed divine powers as a child or if they manifested when he was ready. We do know that before Christ started his ministry he attended a wedding in which the wine ran out, and his mother Mary, asked him to perform a miracle and turn that water into wine. She knew he had the power to do so, or she wouldn’t have asked. So here’s a man roughly 34 years old who’s been God on earth feeling, and growing as a mortal man, but hanging on that cross something had to happen in order for our sins to be paid for by the ransom in blood. Christ must be made apart so the full divine wrath could be poured out onto him in payment for the sins of all mankind. Going from divine to mortal in the blink of an eye, and then feeling the full wrath of God attacking your very soul. How much emotional suffering that must have been for Christ? Another avenue to consider is how difficult it must have been for Christ to stay on that cross? Christ being God he could have turned every last Roman into morning doves, or even a single celled ameba’s. He had to make a choice to endure the pain, the suffering the ridicule. A choice he knew the consequences to. Love concurred over hate that day on Skull Mountain. From the fall from grace mankind has watched as hate covered the land in darkness. Greed, perversion, anger, hatred, selfishness, all the deepest darkest recesses of our brains and our hearts laid out in the most horrific acts imaginable. Today we see child rape, murders, wars, thievery, forced slavery, selfish dictatorships, and a plethora of other horrible displays of man’s wickedness. Christ knew and saw our future, and there were times when he told the Apostles about our future and yet he made the choice, the most unselfish choice anyone would ever make, “to lady down their life for a friend.” Christ not only voluntarily endured the worst pain and torture by man imaginable, he chose to endure the wrath of the Father completely for the sins of man. We as people can barely give up a few dollars to help the beggar on the street corner let alone forgive all of mankind for the worst traits imaginable.

We think it’s strange sometimes the little things we do for one another, and here’s our Lord and Savior that has done the unthinkable, and we are so small we can’t understand the magnitude of what this truly meant for us. It certainly shows how ungrateful we are. We have so many opportunities to share the Love of Christ with others and how often do we let it slip down the drain? We watch as a fallen world is plagued with death, and rape, and mass killings, and bombings, and weapons of mass destruction, and yet when we get the opportunity to give a little peace, to show a little love, to lift someone up, are we taking those chances? Sometimes the least likely people or person lifts us up in our lives. Last year around Christmas time I was in the Wal*Mart parking lot and a truck pulled up, the man driving asked me to come to the passenger door, and when I did he handed me an object. The object was a $100 dollar bill. I couldn’t believe it, but there it was in my hand, the generosity of a stranger, in the Wal*Mart parking lot. While I can go on and on about the wonderful things a few people have done. We are so surprised when random acts of kindness pop up in our lives, but if we were to truly think about it, why is that? Why do these acts of kindness happen so infrequently? In a world where Jesus told us to go forth baptizing all the people of the world, to spread the word the hope and love of Jesus Christ, and to love our neighbors as ourselves, can we honestly say we are doing that? When was the last time any of us did a random act of kindness for a stranger? I’m blessed to have some great friends who do nice things for me pretty often. I try within my means to do nice things for them in return just as often. I try to be nice, and kind, and respectful to everyone I meet. But when we look at acts of kindness as weird or bizarre, I would say that we as Christians have failed in the mission we’ve been given by Christ. Acts of kindness should be commonplace not a rarity. Showing love to those around us shouldn’t be reserved for those people we know, but for everyone we meet. When we look at the sacrifice made for us, and yet we can’t even do the one small thing Christ asked us to do, shame on us. We need to do better. Now don’t get me wrong, we are told to be good stewards of our gifts from God so please use a little common sense and verify your kindness isn’t going to be taken advantage of.

It’s not a hard thing to do to be nice to others. Today when I was told such wonderful things from one of the most unlikely of places, it reminded me that there is love in this world even if we don’t see it often. Today I saw many acts of kindness come my way, and as I’ve been actively trying to fight the onset of depression, those random acts of kindness went a long way. There are so many things we can do for others, hold the door, give the right away while driving, saying please and thank you, asking someone how their day went, and so many more. We never know how just the smallest act of kindness can change someone’s entire day. Do something unexpected, do something wonderful, and remember if Christ was willing to take on everything He endured, the least we can do is put a little love back into this world.

 

 

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http://www.travelrewardsus.com

http://hangout.paid2save.com/

It’s a wonderful thing to be able to share the blessings and teachings of Christ with all of you. For those who read my works in Christ, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Recently I came across an amazing home business based in Travel and Entertainment that’s the real deal. The savings found through this business are amazing. If you shop online, like to go to movies, or travel, this gift card for you can save you up to 50%. Please enjoy your gift as a symbol of my appreciation and gratitude. God Bless.