Have a Fighting Heart

Have a Fighting Heart

There are nights we hurt, when the lies of the days, or the weeks have just gotten us down. There are years when we feel like no matter what we’ve done we aren’t good enough. There are years when we experience so much pain we don’t know how we’d ever be able to put ourselves back together. There are times when the bullies never stop, the attacks continue to come, and no matter how hard we try to run away from the pain it seeks us out, finds us, and breaks us into a million little pieces. The thing with trying to put yourself back together is you can’t. You cannot ever put together a broken heart, or a broken spirit because you didn’t make it. You don’t have the instructions so when you try to do it on your own, you’re without a doubt going to get it wrong. There’s an answer to how to fix the broken things in your life, and that’s Jesus Christ.

In my youth I struggled with bullies to the point where I cried to God to let me die in my sleep. I hated who I was, where I came from, and wanted nothing more then to hide and never be seen again. I know I wasn’t worth anything. I wondered if I ever could be loved, and I questioned how God could have made such a mistake in me. As years passed I slowly buried those feelings, and I found a fighting nature. I grew up placing my value in what other saw in me, and I missed the meaning behind the Gospels. I would watch as one person after another leave for one reason or another, and I would continue to pile that pain, all those rejections into the closet and dead bolted the door. I had no idea how to feel better, or what to do to fix my brokenness. I made mistakes, and sadly I would pay for them. I had the best of intentions to try and put humpty dumpty back together again but every time I tried there were chips and cracks that seemed to be spreading out further and further into my own psyche. Those cracks largely affected my self-esteem and as I watched one person after another leave I questioned my worth and my value to the point it very nearly killed me. There’s a important lesson to be learned in all of this however and that’s without Christ we are nothing. Without the love and grace given to us by God we would be hopeless in a dark world, condemned to an eternity of fiery torment and torture.

While I was driving to Church a new song I’d never heard before came on K-Love, Beautiful by MercyMe. The song seemed to come right through the radio and place a healing hand over my heart. The lyrics spoke to my cracked and fractured heart, and I realized, for so many years I had missed my healing all along. It’s not about how other see me, it’s how God sees me, and that God has given each and every one of us gifts, and talents to use, to bring His name Glory. We are so important to God, yet we don’t value ourselves very well. If you are sitting there reading this and if you believe you’re not worth anything, just take a moment to remember that Jesus Christ wants a relationship with you. You are made for so much more then you’ll ever know. God tells us in scripture that one hair on our head is more important the all the birds. We need to have the heart to fight because in this world of spiritual warfare we must not allow the lies of the Devil to break us down. The lies we are told are not truth, and we cannot keep them inside as if they were. We must rid ourselves of those negative hurtful thoughts, and remember that we are treasured by God and not one of us is created as a throw away. Every single one of us has a divine purpose by God. Every single one of us is given talents we must learn to use. Every single one of us is exceptional, and unique. We must keep our eyes focused on the Lord, and let the healing touch of Christ cover us like a warm blanket and remind us just how extraordinary we are. We all have a purpose and we aren’t alone in our walk. 1 Peter 4:11 (NKJV)11 “If anyone speaks, let him speak as the [a]oracles of God. If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belong the glory and the [b]dominion forever and ever. Amen.” In all things we do through our pain or our triumphs we must do it to the glory of God. If we are not using our gifts we are wasting them. We know that nothing goes to waist in our universe. Matter cannot be destroyed, just changed, so we know that we are here for a purpose. We can choose to waist our potential, or we can rise above the challenges and be something great before the eyes of God. To read more about the dangers of wasting your talents I urge you to read the parable by Jesus in Matthew 25:14-30https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+25%3A14–30&version=NKJV

 

Beautiful By: MercyMe

Days will come when you don’t have the strength
When all you hear is you’re not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart, they’d see too much

You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred
You are His
You’re beautiful

Praying that you have the heart to fight
‘Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you’ve held inside so long
They are nothing in the shadow of the cross

You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred
You are His
You’re beautiful

Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You’re the one He madly loves
Enough to die

You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
In His eyes
You’re beautiful
You were meant for so much more than all of this
You’re beautiful
You are treasured you are sacred you are his
You’re beautiful
You are meant for so much more than all of this
You’re beautiful
You are treasured you are sacred you are his

 

It Can’t Be All Bad

It Can’t Be All Bad

Recently I was reading the news. It’s a chore now that I don’t enjoy doing, but I want to stay at least somewhat informed of big issues or happenings around the world. As I was skimming through the headlines, I quickly remembered why I don’t enjoy reading the news, IT’S ALL BAD! I searched for a while only to find a few ‘throw away’ posts but nothing really of anything extraordinary. Here’s the thing about news though, the things that are most popular is what you’ll find. Nothing sells better like bad news, or something sexy.

I was looking at new ways to light my Hogwarts Lego castle and I moved the internal lights to the front to light up more of the exterior of the castle. When I did this I realized I could see areas of the castle I hadn’t seen at night before. It got me thinking about the news and what we see, or rather what we choose to see. Things can only stay in the dark if we don’t shine light on them. The shadows that haunt this country, or even those that haunt us as individuals can only remain shadows if there’s not enough light to force the shadow away. If there’s a dark spot we should be able to turn the light on and force that darkness to retreat. Of course the excessive bad news is the work of a sin-ridden world. We know that the sin will continue to grow, and it’ll continue to spread like a wildfire cancer upon this earth. The sin will grow and become more visible as long as Christians don’t take control of how things are run. Christians have allowed our own homes to fall to the deepest depravities and we do nothing. Men leave their responsibilities as women are having children more and more out of wedlock. We see child crime on the rise, and as the jails are overflowing with criminal activity we can only blame ourselves. I know it all seems very bleak and cold, but there is hope, Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 5:1010 But [a]may the God of all grace, who called [b]us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, [c]perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.”

Don’t fear the darkness; simply turn on the light and watch as the shadows scatter in fear. We know how the story ends, and we must live our lives according to Christ. Titus 2:7“in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility,” No matter how dark the world gets we are commanded not to conform to it, but to be a good representative, an ambassador of Christ. We know where we are going when we die, but those who are still lost in this world still need to be unplugged from the system. It’s our job to educate, to guide, to lead by example. If we can’t do that we have no business calling ourselves Christians. We must hold ourselves to a higher standard not because I say so, but because Jesus Christ said so. How long will we allow our own homes to crumble to ruin over and over again? How long will we allow the neighborhoods to crumble all around us? How long will we allow the poverty in this great nation to grow and have more and more people struggling to make ends meat? We must stand up and do better. We must evangelize harder, preach louder, and not allow the world to stifle our voices any longer. Don’t let the darkness snuff out our candle of light and hope. Light is stronger then dark, and we must remind the world we won’t be pushed around or bullied any longer.

Nick of Time

Nick of Time

How often do we sit in the middle of our trials and we don’t know what God’s waiting for. I know I have sat here and I have begged God to deliver me from the evil. When things don’t go according to my plan I get frustrated. When the storm lasts forever and we just want out we begin to doubt God, and we begin to think negatively of our relationship with god. James 4:14“Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” I have watched so many suffer from depression after the loss of a girlfriend, a job, a friend, and think that they will never feel better again. In my life, I have faced days where I have felt like tomorrow wouldn’t come. When we don’t know what tomorrow will bring it can often bring emotions of anxiety, fear, confusion, sadness, and hopelessness.

When I am in the most despair I often find that right when I need it the most God sends exactly what I need, when I need it. We want things done in our time, but we don’t understand the nature of God and God’s timing. 2 Peter 3:8 “But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.” In the movie Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Ring, Frodo is waiting under a tree for the gray old wizard Gandalf to show up. When Gandalf finally shows up, Frodo says,“You’re late!” and Gandalf responds with “A wizard is never late Frodo Baggans, he arrives precisely when he means to!”  God is the same way, and when God decides when it’s time we need to be on the look out.

2 Peter 3:9“The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.” God has made us a promise of the return of Christ, and when that day comes we are told to be ready. But God has also made us another promise, to never leave, nor forsake us. We need to remember that when we are going through hard times the Lord is right there with us. When we need help the Lord will always send it. It may not be in the way we expect, but if we go through life with our own expectations we may miss the blessings God sends to us in our time of need.

If you were Batman and you were fighting a dragon, things may seem dire but just when you need it the most Superman comes to help. Psalm 31:15“My times are in your hand; rescue me from the hand of my enemies and from my persecutors!” When David was being pursued and hunted, and he prayed for deliverance, he still knew that it would come at God’s appointed time. Faith in the Lord is the first and last place we must turn. There will be a lot of troubles along the way, but God will always give us what we need, when we need it.

Silent Prayer

Silent Prayer

I sit here in the dark, on my bed, with just the dim lights from my new Lego set and the computer. The sounds of classical music come from the speakers of my laptop. I realized I haven’t really spent much time with God lately. I’ve been so busy worrying about school, and worrying about my other stressors in my life, that I have forgotten to pray. I have been thinking lately of all the trials I’ve gone through, and I realized I cannot do this on my own. I have been hearing the voices telling me I’m not worthy of God’s grace. The voice tells me I’m a failure, and I’ll never amount to anything. I hear the storm is too strong, and I’ll never make it. While I know this is all lies, it’s hard for me to continue being rejected, to continue failing, falling flat on my face, and not feel those negative feelings. So, when you find yourself low, and you don’t know what else to do, prayer is the first place you should go. Prayer is something we need to be doing every day, and according to scripture it’s something we need to do without ceasing. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-1816 “Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” The first thing we are told is to rejoice, and while sometimes this may seem difficult it’s important to remember that even in our hardships we have an opportunity to praise Jesus because it gives us a chance to show others how Christians ought to behave in times of trouble. We can witness to others even in our own trials and tribulations, if we remember to turn to Christ in even the darkest of days.

One thing we forget to do is pray even when things are going great. We forget to rejoice when the world is peachy keen and everything is going right. We forget to thank God for the blessings we have, and even when it seems like we have so very little, we fail to put some perspective on what we do have. I have been to 3rdworld countries where I have seen poverty that we can’t fathom here in our country. While we do have homeless, even our homeless eat better then those in other countries. I’ve seen people who don’t eat at all if they don’t work, and many don’t get the chance to work simply because of where they live. I have watched as children have begged for food simply because it may have been days since the last time they had a meal. Even when we feel we have little, to other parts of the world, we are rich.

So in my time here in the dark, I find myself struggling between the flesh and the spirit. Romans 7:21-25 21 “I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. 22 For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.” As Paul explains there is a war going on inside him. The war of the laws of Sin, and his desire to do good battle with one another. As I struggle with the feelings I have, knowing that God’s grace is sufficient for me, it’s hard to stay positive. Even knowing what Jesus has done for me, the struggle is still strong. Sometimes, I feel like I’m not a ‘good’ Christian because I have such negative feelings about myself. Sometimes when I feel low, I feel like I’ve done something wrong, and I’m not where I should be in my faith. But then, once again I realize that those are all the lies from Lucifer himself trying to bring me down, to raise doubts, and to do harm in my relationship with God.

David himself struggled a great deal with doubts, with depression, with hardships, and even in the very end he was considered a man after God’s own heart. This is a man who faltered a great deal, and by all mortal accounts was an awful man. While we would deem his actions and behavior deplorable and knowing those types of things would not happen today and have anyone get away with them, he repented of his sins. He did however suffer the consequences of his actions. We must remember to pray and in our prayers follow the standard Christ gave to us.

Matthew 6:9-13

9 In this manner, therefore, pray:

Our Father in heaven,

Hallowed be Your name.

10 Your kingdom come.

Your will be done

On earth as it is in heaven.

11 Give us this day our daily bread.

12 And forgive us our debts,

As we forgive our debtors.

13 And do not lead us into temptation,

But deliver us from the evil one.

[a]For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

 

Many people believe that these are the words to pray, but that’s not what Christ said, He said “IN THIS MANNER” so he was merely citing an example of how to pray. Addressing who you are praying to. Then he brings glory to the one whom you pray to. He’s then saying, whatever your will is, I will accept because you are great, and I am not. He offers thanks for the needs we have that are met by the Lord. Then he asks for forgiveness for the wrongs we’ve done, and in turn offers forgiveness to those whom we have wronged. He asks for the strength to avoid the temptations of the flesh, of sin, and to rise above the powers of Satan in this fallen world. He ends with acknowledging the power of God, in Heaven, on Earth, and the glory of God. Within that template you can ask God for the desire of your soul. You can bring your prayer requests for those you feel the need to pray for. God wants to have a conversation with you, and hopes you will come to the Father with all the troubles, and desires of your heart. So when we sit in the dark, in our quite place away from the world, away from technology, and when we can actually hear ourselves think, we need to remember what’s important, and what is right with our relationship with the Lord. Don’t give up and don’t despair in the dark days, today, or tomorrow.

 

 

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Junk

Junk

I was going through my emails recently, and frustrations as always, as my inbox was filled with loads of junk mail, sadly the junk box missed. I was thinking about what someone told me about my blogs being helpful to others. While I appreciated the compliment of course, I found myself concerned about the millions around the world who are seeking truth, seeking knowledge in their salvation through Christ, and the wolves circle. I think about all those so called preachers out there who pervert the gospel in order to gain power, to gain wealth, all under the disguise of the Word of God. It’s a scary thought when you think of how many people have been led astray by such junk.

Recently in the news there was an article about one of the top ‘prosperity’ preachers out there, and he was saying his congregation needed to buy him a new jet because Jesus would want him to have more then one. When I think about the kind of cost of that airplane, and then those who are in desperate need of food, medicine, shelter, and who’ve never heard the name Jesus Christ, I am ashamed to consider those types of pastors Christians. They have preyed on people’s fears, their desires for hope, and instead of finding truth, they are met with lies. Sadly thousands have fallen victim to that kind of prosperity gospel and undoing that kind of damage is extremely difficult.

I wish I could say prosperity gospel is the only enemy out there disguised as truth, but it’s not. Churches like the Westboro Baptist church that have perverted the word even more then prosperity seem to have no shortage of followers. While that’s an extreme example of the lies being spread from a pulpit, there are churches all around the world telling lies and leading people down the wrong path. There are a growing number of churches teaching false doctrine and largely a Jesus plus one ideology. It’s being taught that you need Jesus, but you also need this ‘other’ thing. I’ve heard so many different examples ranging from women having to wear dresses to church to men always having to wear a collard shirt to church. I’ve heard churches talk about how you need to do so many works to be ‘right’ with God, and the list goes on and on in churches all over the world. Lastly the claim that the only true Bible is the King James Version. This is beyond far from true. First of all, the KJV has been revised several times. Second the KJV isn’t written in other languages. If we were to try to read the original KJV we would be unable to because that form of English isn’t spoken any longer. There are translations out there that aren’t very good, but to say there is only one Bible you should read from is simply not true. On that note no matter what Bible you choose to read from you should ALWAYS do your own homework as to the language the bible was written in, Hebrew, Aramaic, or Greek. This can be done on websites such as Blueletterbible.com

Here’s the message in a nutshell, there is no amount of works that will save you, or make you right before the eyes of the Lord. There is no way for you to beg, borrow, steal, or barter your way into Heaven. The only way is Jesus Christ. John 14:6 6 “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” Our works are but dirty rags before the Lord. When you are following Christ you will want to do more, you will want to volunteer, and help others, and your heart will turn to a giving heart, and the ways of the world might affect you differently after you submit to Christ. We will be rewarded in heaven for what we do, but that’s not the way into Heaven. Put your faith in Christ and be sure to verify what you read, and what you hear that sounds like it’s the Word of God. Do not be sheep led to the slaughter. You are the master of your own ship; led by Christ, so don’t let someone else lead you off course. Always check your heading with the Lord and make sure you continue to shoot that azimuth often.

 

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It’s a wonderful thing to be able to share the blessings and teachings of Christ with all of you. For those who read my works in Christ, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Recently I came across an amazing home business based in Travel and Entertainment that’s the real deal. The savings found through this business are amazing. If you shop online, like to go to movies, or travel, this gift card for you can save you up to 50%. Please enjoy your gift as a symbol of my appreciation and gratitude. God Bless.

The Power of Friendship

The Power of Friendship

In my life I’ve not always been blessed with lasting friendships. I have met people that I once believed were friends that would eventually leave. I have been constantly in need of making new friends, new relationships. When I left my first high school I knew I’d have to start over, and with that fresh start hope to reinvent myself. I made friends over time, and I thought after four years the relationships I had made would last. Sadly as with all things, they rusted and began to fade away to the power of time. Now as an adult, years after my military service I have been left in search of those relationships yet again. While I have made some very strong relationships I have found few my age, and even fewer that I’m able to have a legitimate social circle. As I have grown older and with maturity have begun to realize even though my heart desires fellowship, and a closeness that seems elusive, I know that the one relationship that matters the most, is one that I have. The love and closeness of God is what’s gotten me through the dark times I’ve faced over the last two years.

I never would have dreamt two later I would be where I am. As I am not truly any further along then I was two years ago, I am on a new path. As I have had trials a plenty in that time, I haven’t felt as alone as I once had. I am able to maintain a sense of peace and joy because I know where my true joy comes from.  Psalm 3:3“But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts up my head.” I have been attacked over and over as my heart longs for better circumstances. I have tried to keep up my fortress and protect my heart and mind from the attacks of the great deceiver, but in my fleshy, sinful self, I have failed on numerous occasions. It’s in this failure I realize I am not strong enough alone. I would never be able to manage by myself so it’s that realization I seek answers in scripture. Psalm 46:1“God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.” I know where to pray, and how, and I appreciate the complexity of the relationship between God the one and only God, to a seemingly insignificant speck in the universe such as myself. That’s the biggest catch of all though isn’t it? We aren’t insignificant. We are important to God; we are loved by God, every single last one of us. We are created by God for a purpose and that purpose is to have a relationship with God. Every person alive has gifts given to us by God. Though we struggle at times, we are commanded to help one another. God however is the ultimate fortress. Psalm 71:3“Be my strong refuge, To which I may resort continually; You have given the commandment to save me, For You are my rock and my fortress.” Don’t doubt the love Jesus Christ has for you. Don’t doubt your importance. This life is ever changing, and when we assume we have no other options, that’s when we limit the power of God.

God is grace, and love, and hope. Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”The New Testament is full of the message of hope and love. The law had already been laid. The foundation was already set. The setting on earth was right, and ready for the most important message of scripture, Jesus Christ. Christ was the savior the OT spoke of so often. Jesus was blood scripture look forward to, and the blood we now look back to. Jesus came and gave us hope so we might not die. The promise of death made by God after eating the fruit from the forbidden tree set us on a path of hell, and yet God saw that wasn’t good, so He made the plan and promised a covenant for salvation. We find that promise fulfilled in history. Romans 12:12 “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” Galatians 5:22“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,” In life we can feel down, and we can feel crushed under the weight of our sorrow, and disappointment, and despair, but if we truly know Christ, and we can truly stand and say we know for a fact where we are going when we die, then there is no sense of letting this world crush your joy. Sure we may face situations that don’t try our patience, our resolve, but in all things we must grow closer to God. Proverbs 17:22“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

 (Harry Potter : Deathly Hallows Pt. 2 Spoilers)

I was watching the movie Harry Potter recently and when I was thinking about it, it was love that saved Harry’s life. It was love that his parents showed to him. It was love that brought Harry, Ron, and Hermione together.

Love is why Christ chose to stay on the cross and shed his blood for us. Love is the greatest of all the commandments, and we must remember that in our day to day lives. It may not come down to how many friends you have, how big or small your family is, it’s the quality of those relationships. I am blessed with the friends I have now. While a part of my desire is not fulfilled, I know that if I were to ever need anything the friends I have would be there for me in a moments notice.

I have found it difficult to meet people who are mature and desire real friendships, real substance in those relationships, but thankfully, I have a few that I can trust and know that they aren’t going anywhere. It’s hard for me to comprehend someone who isn’t going to leave me. Most of my life I have faced friends leaving, or as I often thought of it, abandoning me. I have seen death in my life, and it has taught me to value what I have because I, or we, never know when we could loose it all. Life is about the relationships you have, the differences you make, and the love you share. Don’t let friendships pass you by, and don’t get sucked into the busy world. Make time for those in your life that are important because we never know how much time we have. When you look back on your life, what are you going to focus on? Will it be how much money you have in the bank, or that you didn’t spend enough time working? It’s relationships people think about in the end, and if that’s a universal truth, why not learn from that, and focus on relationships now? Don’t let time slip by you without taking action today.

 

 

 

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I Am Not Innocent

I Am Not Innocent

I am not deserving of this life. I am guilty of a great many sins, and I am guilty of failing and falling every single day. I cannot help but realize how lost I am in this life. I am a ship blown by the wind tossed upon the sea with no hope to make it to the sunrise. I am no better then a murderer on death row. I am no better then a man 2000 years ago that was set free. One simple act, an easy idea to understand, and yet the depth of the subject, the depth of the meaning surrounding that single most compassionate act in the history of mankind, JESUS CHRIST took my place. When the crowd gathered in front of Pilate and called for the savior of mankind to be crucified, Pilate offered an alternative, a man known to be a rebel, known to be a murderer, known to be a thief, and when the choice came, the crowed double downed and called for Barabbas to be released instead of Christ. How can we stand by and think to ourselves how much injustice there is in this act. The sovereign of the universe made a choice to do something that was beautiful and scandalous at the same time. In this life we’d never want to watch an innocent man be put to death in the place of a known criminal. The thing with this verse however, is we are always Barabbas. We are always the sinner and we don’t deserve salvation. We cannot work enough, do enough, be good enough to ever earn our way into Heaven. Jesus sat in front of Pilate silent, and through actions alone, sent the message that He would willingly take the place of all known sinners. Barabbas is a symbol for every single one of us. All sin is created equal at the foot of the cross. We look through our human, earthly eyes and we see ourselves better then someone else because of our own sense of morality. The thing is though, coveting what you cannot have is just as sinful as murder.

Matthew 27:17-2117 “Therefore, when they had gathered together, Pilate said to them, “Whom do you want me to release to you? Barabbas, or Jesus who is called Christ?” 18 For he knew that they had handed Him over because of envy. 19 While he was sitting on the judgment seat, his wife sent to him, saying, “Have nothing to do with that just Man, for I have suffered many things today in a dream because of Him.” 20 But the chief priests and elders persuaded the multitudes that they should ask for Barabbas and destroy Jesus. 21 The governor answered and said to them, “Which of the two do you want me to release to you?” They said, “Barabbas!”

 We are never going to be better then Barabbas. We will always have sin in our life, but we have hope knowing that in that moment Jesus said not just to Barabbas by his actions, but to the world that He would willingly take our place to allow his blood to trickle down the cross touching the earth as a sacrifice to break the chains of sin, to break the bondage that held us in a hopeless world. I know I will never be able to do enough, work hard enough, and love enough, to earn a place before the Father. I know that there is only one way, Jesus Christ, the truth the way, the life. Jesus had the power to walk away, to let a guilty man go to the cross for his action, but in the greatest symbol to show us the mercy and grace of God, Jesus knowingly, willfully, and would always do it again, give his on life, give his own blood for all of our sins. No, I am not an innocent man, and knowing how guilty I am, I can love deeper in the knowledge that God loves each and every one of us.

 

 

In A World Not Of Your Own

In A World Not Of Your Own

I wake up in my bed, and I realize I’m still here in this world. I take a breath and in a moment of thought, thank God for another day here on this earth. We know from scripture that those who follow Christ are called to live in this world, but not to be conformed to it. We are called to be here to spread the love and truth that is Jesus Christ, but this is not where we are to call home. To be an ambassador means to be in a place that is not your own. This world is far from home for Christians. Think about where you call home, and the feeling you get when you’re away on vacation for a while. While the vacation is nice, there comes a time when you start to long for home. There comes a point when you think to yourself you miss the comforts of your own 4 walls, your own bed, your own stuff, and you desire to go home. This is the same thing for Christians who know what truly awaits us when we die. God so loved the world that he gave his ONLY son, that who ever comes to know him shall not die, but have eternal life.

2 Corinthians 5:2020 “Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God.” We must understand that we have work to do in this life. We must talk about the love and grace of Jesus Christ. We must talk about the gift of salvation given to all. We must talk about the ransom that was paid for each and every soul that ever lived, has lived, or will live. We have been given this gift freely, but like all gifts, yet we have to choose to accept it. When we walk outside our door we don’t know who we will encounter, or what will happen to us. We represent our home, our father, Jesus Christ everywhere we go. We should be recognizable as different because if we stand apart from the world, we shouldn’t blend in to the world around us.

In the film the Matrix during the agent training program there was one goal to the program to teach about the agents and what they are, who they are, and their mission. The woman in the red dress stood out as different but upon closer look, she was just another agent. When people look at us do we stand out to be the woman in the red dress, or upon closer examination are we just agents of the world hiding like wolves in sheep’s clothing. If Batman were to be transported to the wizarding world of Harry Potter he would stand out. We too have a choice to stand out and truly be different in all we say and do. It’s important to stand up and be proud of being different. We cannot expect things in this world to be different if we are not willing to be different. We cannot expect the world to change if we are not willing to be that change.

I have often felt like I didn’t belong and an outsider, and as I’ve gotten older, I have realized that’s not far from true. While I do have a more rare personality type, I have found that it’s in the mutual love of Jesus Christ I have found a place more fitting for me. I have searched the world over for a place to call ‘home’ even as a temporary home, and while I can’t say I love the weather, I can say I love my church. Antioch Baptist Church in Timberlake North Carolina is the most loving, most giving, most welcoming place I’ve ever been. From finding my best friend Glen, to a pastor whom I have grown quite close to ‘David Chambers’ I have found myself unable to leave. I am anchored here because the church is anchored in Jesus Christ. This church is different in the way it conducts business, in the way it holds itself accountable to the word of God, and the people in it truly do love the Lord. I have been to many different churches across the world, and I have not once found a place in any denomination that loves the Lord as much as they do at Antioch. No place is ever going to be perfect, and while there is sin everywhere, Antioch is truly a place apart. Antioch stand apart as much as Batman going to Hogwarts. John 15:19 19“If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” We may not be popular, or even liked, and sometimes we may even be hated, but it’s not the acceptance of the world we need to be worried about, it’s the acceptance of God and knowing all we do is bringing glory to His name.

The Days Are Numbered

The Days Are Numbered

The days come and for the first time in a while the sun was shining with low humidity, and a nice cool breeze felt amazing. With no storms in sight it was finally a day that wasn’t horrible just stepping outside. Not a bad day at all to be out running errands. It’s days like this that even when there’s so much to do with appointments all day, I feel at peace. Even with my new sessions of EMDR trauma therapy, and finding out one of my doctors is leaving their position, I have still found a sense of joy in this day. How often do we make it through the day, the weeks, the months without feeling that sense of joy? When we get caught up in the world, we forget that every day we wake is a blessing and a gift of God. How often do we forget to take a moment in our day to appreciate the little things? Psalm 118:24“This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.” David often found himself dealing with struggles, life changes, depression, and even amidst all of these things, he always remember where the little gifts came from. God, of course is the giver of all things, and we are commanded not to be conformed of this world, and we are told to live within our day, not worried about what tomorrow will bring. This doesn’t mean not to make life plans, but certainly not to become overwhelmed when something knocks the train off the track. Jesus tells us not to worry about tomorrow for it will worry about itself. Matthew 6:25“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one [aa]cubit to his [ab]stature?” We will not add one day, not one hour to our life by allowing ourselves to be overworked, overwhelmed, overtaxed. We cannot always change our circumstances in the moment, and yet we allow ourselves to be worked up, stressed often to the point of crying or shaking, which there’s nothing with crying, but we should not allow ourselves to worry so much. This is of course easier said then done, but in our struggles every single day, we should make a good effort towards trusting in our Father, and allowing our worries to be passed to God and trust that in all things the details will be worked out.

While I often wish my life held less stress, more play, more love, less obligations, and way more fun, I realize that we must take time to be adults and face each and every day with one question, ‘no matter what today brings me Lord, how can I glorify you?’ Matthew 6:31-3431 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” It’s hard enough worrying about all the big stuff in our lives, yet we drive ourselves to worry also of all the small insignificant stuff. We must learn to resist the worry. Think about why we worry so much, we worry because we don’t’ know what we are going to do about a problem, or a situation. We have doubts it can be taken care of and handled, but if we truly say we have faith in the Lord, it’s in that that we should be able to let go and let God. We cannot beat blood from a stone, and we cannot move a mountain all on our own.

Life is so short, and we spend so much time being angry, we are resentful, and we hold onto that for months, years, or even our entire life. There’s no reason to allow that to remain in our bodies. We would never want to allow poison to stay inside our bodies, so why do we allow ourselves to carry so much negative energy? Why do we allow ourselves to fuel our heart with so much hatred, and pain? We never know how much time we have, and one thing we must remember is the true nature of forgiveness. Matthew 6:15“15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” We do not want to hold onto that cancer that festers the longer it’s in our bodies. We may encounter things in our life where we don’t feel like justice has been served, but it’s not our place to find justice, or revenge. Justice is paid by God, and we must trust in God that no one gets away with anything in this life. Everything we do good and bad is cataloged and categorized. We must believe that if we cannot let go of that anger and hatred and forgive those of the wrongs they’ve committed against us, we also will not be forgiven.

It’s hard when you feel cheated, when you feel let down by someone so close to you, but as we are all sinners in a fallen world, we must understand that we learn from every situation, good and bad. For every bad situation we can learn what not to do on someone else’s actions, or learn what not to do again from our own. We can learn, and we can grow, and we must always grow closer to God with every breath we take. One day this life will end and we will get to go home, if we love and accept our savior Jesus Christ. This life is just a short time, but our real home awaits us, don’t sacrifice that home by holding out in this one.

Laughing on the Outside

Laughing on the Outside

“I’m only laughing on the outside. My smile is just skin deep. If you could see inside I’m really crying. You might join me for a weep.” (Joker)

 Recently I watched as a friend, or some unknown relationship status, told me that they had plans with work friends a few days in a row. While most of the time I don’t know if that would bother me, but I got the impression they would rather spend time with anyone but me. I got the feeling I was just the back up friend so whenever they didn’t have plans, then maybe I would be on the lineup. I don’t know if this was the case, or if this was just coincidence. In the last few days I have felt the darkness creep in like a shadow. The struggle to feel content in any situation is my deepest labor. The silence grows in me like a cancer. In the silence the Devil whispers in my ear, and I pray earnestly to be rid of the lies.

Philippians 4:12-13“12 I know how to [a]be abased, and I know how to [b]abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through [c]Christ who strengthens me.”

 Paul is telling the church at Philippi that he has learned to lessen the impact of the situations he finds himself in. The word Abased is tapeinoō to reduce the pain. He explains that he knows how to abound or perisseuō, to exist or be at hand in abundance.

What do we do in our times of struggle? For many like me, internalize the pain, and smile and laugh, but only on the outside. As I think back on the line from the 1989 Batman, Joker says if you could see the inside he’s crying. How often do we wish we could take off that mask? How often do you want to scream the truth to the world? Well, I am here to tell you, that’s exactly what you need to do. When you are feeling weak and you don’t know how to take another step, you have a choice. You can sit there and say nothing, and be miserable, or you can reach out to a Christian brother or sister and confess your sins, confess what’s on your heart, and then you give them the opportunity to he of help, be Christ’s love. James 5:16“16 [a]Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, [b]fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” When we hold our troubles in, we do two things, one, we are alone and miserable in our struggles. Two, we deprive the opportunity for someone to feel useful, to show grace and love which is also a commandment. 1 Thessalonians 5:11“11 Therefore [a]comfort each other and [b]edify one another, just as you also are doing.”

 The Devil is always on the prowl, and is always attacking. Even though we are only passing through this foreign land, we must stand tall and be one another’s help. If we had a relationship with our brothers and sisters like Forrest Gump, and Bubba, we’d all be in a better place. The scene where they are sitting in the mud together, and they sit back to back so neither had to lay in the mud, that’s the relationship we need to have with one another. Never underestimate how even the smallest of gestures may go a long way to making someone feel loved and wanted. We all need to remember most importantly that people will not always be exactly what we want or need. We are bound to get hurt, and suffer disappointments when we put our faith or hopes in people. It’s in Jesus Christ we must focus our hope and Love. Of course we must love our neighbors as ourselves, but understand that we too will someday let someone down. We too will make mistakes and bring pain to those we love. All we can really do is be the best we can be and pray for forgiveness when we fall short. Don’t hide the tears on the inside, be courageous and trust in someone to help you in your time of need.

 

 

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