Tag: christ

Shame

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Shame: 

Sometimes things come up in our life that takes us back to a darker time. Sometimes we are swallowed up in our shame, and when we think that shame is long behind us, Satan can bring it back unexpectedly. 

Spiritual warfare gives us questions we don’t always have answers for. Satan will use any and all things at his disposal to attack a Christian. The deceiver will use lies, partial truths, people, things, temptations, wealth, power, sex, all in the disguise of his true intentions, and that’s to destroy the life and walk, and witness of a Christian. “My hope is that when I die, all of hell rejoices that I am out of the fight” (C.S. Lewis). We live with a target upon our faces, the mark of a Christian. 

When we are taken back to the days of old, when something from our past comes back, how do we manage? How do we face the darkness that fills up inside us? The darkness can feel suffocating, like a small cage, when the walls feel like they are closing in. Spiritual warfare can come at any time. Satan’s attacks can bring us to our knees. Battles are often depicted in movies as grand spectacles. Two movies in particular had fantastic visual battles. ‘Lord Of The Rings Two Towers’, and ‘Braveheart’. The battles are hard, bloody, and not without casualties. While these are fantastic renditions of a battle, it does not really depict the solitary fight of one person. Another film I think of is the allegory of John Bunyan’s ‘Pilgrims Progress’. We see Christian fighting Satan. Sword and shield in hand repelling his attacks. Christian, barely able to stand, draws strength of God, and temporarily repels Satan’s attack. He is bruised, battered, exhausted, and barely able to move, yet, he never gave up. Today, we are attacked in the same way, but instead of it being a physical battle, Christian’s battle is allegory for the spiritual battle we face. 

The song ‘Voice of Truth’ says this, 

But the waves are calling out my name

And they laugh at me

Reminding me of all the times

I’ve tried before and failed

The waves they keep on telling me

Time and time again. “Boy, you’ll never win!”

“You’ll never win!”

… 

But the giant’s calling out my name

And he laughs at me

Reminding me of all the times

I’ve tried before and failed

The giant keeps on telling me

Time and time again. “Boy you’ll never win!”

“You’ll never win!”

Thankfully, while these are the lies Satan tells us, whispering in our ear, we know he does not speak for us. He does not fight for us; he does not tell us truth. Satan’s lies are designed for one thing, to destroy.

When I was in Iraq one of my many missions was to seek and capture or kill enemy combatants, and leaders of the enemy movement. While I do not know the exact number of arrest my platoon made, or even the number of attacks we stopped, I know that our fight was against an enemy that didn’t care about our beliefs, where we came from, those we helped, the outreach missions we accomplished, they wanted us dead. The scouts were targeted enemies specifically and they wanted us dead more than the others. Our banner flown was a target. When we are a Christian, our banner is raised high and proud, and Satan wants us dead and destroyed, more than any others. Are we a threat to Satan’s dominion by the way we talk about and preach the gospel? 

Difficult as it is, we must let our shame go, not holding on to it. We must not allow Satan to use these things, bringing us down. We cannot hold on to things for Satan to use them as weapons against us. We must wipe away the tears of the past and move forward with strength and purpose. We must not hold on to the failings or trauma of yesterday, because God doesn’t. When Jesus forgives us of our repentant sin, it is wiped away, covered white as now.

Isaiah 43:25 25 “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake;

And I will not remember your sins.”

Colossians 2:13-14 13 “And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses, 14 having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.”

Hebrews 8:12 12 “For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.”

IF God does not keep our transgression, we should not hold onto the guilt and shame of yesterday either. Let us not look back, but forward. ‘Progress not perfection.’ We will never be perfect this side of glory, and we cannot expect to find perfection here. While sin should bring us to our knees in our born-again conscience, we need to seek forgiveness, and repentance of that sin, but not allow it to crush us. Like Christian in Pilgrims Progress, when his sin is lifted off his back, we should not try to pick it back up and place it upon our backs. Let the sin fall away in the forgiveness of Christ’s blood, and let us keep moving along, doing a little better each and every day. Let us keep fighting the good fight, and stay strong, even when it’s raining down upon us. Let us see our sins washed away by the blood. God forgives us of our sins, let us forgive ourselves. What we place at the feet of Jesus, let us not pick up again. When we place our struggles, and shame, sins, and regret, let us never pick them up. 

I have often struggled with this. Having felt shame my entire childhood for things out of my control. As I wrestled with bullying of both my family status, and my physical appearance. This led to physical attacks upon me, targeted confrontations of my things being thrown into occupied urinals, swirleys (getting your head dunked in a toilet), beatings, being robbed, and insults. I was often afraid to walk alone from the bus stop because of these kinds of events. I became scared to ride the bus, or walk in the hallways at school. I was afraid to change in the locker room at school. I was afraid to sleep at night in fear of what may happen in my sleep. Fear gripped me tight and for many years, would not let go. I could not look at myself in the mirror without feeling shame, and disgust. I could not at the time, ever see my life filled with any kind of love, or joy for life. As a child, Satan had taken that from me. 

Today I live a life of service for the Lord. This brings attacks of a different nature. While I am still uncomfortable in my own skin, I no longer have a spirit of fear. That’s not to say I don’t still struggle with other areas of my confidence, and at times the deceiver reminds me of my former shame. I am human, and I wrestle with the flesh nature. Let us remember the spirit we are given of love, and courage, and joy in the risen Lord Jesus Christ. Let us look upon Christ in glorious hope that this world is but a fleeting moment, and eternity of praise and worship await us. Have faith my brothers and sisters in Christ. Have hope and do not despair my brethren. Let us put the past behind us, and continue to look towards the East. Our risen Lord shall return someday, and when we does, let us be ready. 

The Burdens

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The Burdens

We all have our burdens. Some people will face burdens of the external kind, people, or things in their life. Some will face those from within, pain, or sickness. The challenge recently for me has been the internal. It’s been days now of pain in the 6-7 range. With only brief moments of relief, it’s easy to say, fatigue can set in. With fatigue comes the spiritual attacks. Whether it be thoughts brought on by the sin nature that dwells within, or the devil whispering in my ear, the struggle is real. 

I am reminded of Paul, who in an encouraging statement said he prayed three times to have a thorn in his side removed. God denied his request. Paul’s answer in 2 Corinthians 12:10 “Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” God’s answer to Paul is “My grace is sufficient.” Do we have this mindset when we are going through something? Do we seek God first to remove our torment, and if he says no, do we settle in and take joy in those infirmities, persecutions, and hardships? 

Being in constant, chronic pain is not easy. It brings fatigue, irritability, frustration, and in many cases it can bring depression, and hopelessness. Despite the struggle, I find myself turning to God. While the sharks smell blood in the water, in my low points, I will not let the deep drag me down. 

There have been many great men who have endured years of hardships, so I may have the opportunity to do the same. Some comes in the way of persecution, but regardless, my Savior and King Jesus Christ was beaten, scourged, battered, a crown of thorns placed upon his head, and placed isn’t a strong enough word, crushed down upon his head, forcing the thorns to dig into his flesh, tearing it along the way, causing profuse bleeding into his face. My savior had flesh ripped down into the very sinews of his muscles. He was placed on a cross in which he had to raise himself up with a spike driven through his feet, and his torn open back scraping along the wood plank, just to breathe. He came to bare that burden for us. Not for all, but for the ones who accept his gift. What kind of character does it take to die for your enemy? What is our example? This, to lay down one’s life for someone who hates you, spit on you, just for the chance they may see their wicked ways changed, and follow you. Jesus knew that not everyone would follow him. In fact, he knew that few would choose to truly lay down the world, and pick up their own cross. 

The walk of a Christian is one of struggle, hardships, and battles. God gave us the command to be the church, and commands to the church on how to act, what to be. We as Christians are given the command to lay down our burdens at the foot of the cross. We are to lay them down at the feet of Jesus and let him be God and to let us trust in Him. While some burdens, like sickness may not go away, the pain may not go away, the renewing of strength may be given to us. Nights like today, I feel the need to feel his presence. I feel the need to cry out to the Lord to be with me tonight. I feel myself growing tired and in need of rest. The attacks of the devil start to swirl around me and in my own military mind, I request danger close call for fire. I cannot fight the fight against the demons circling round alone, but I know Jesus won’t let me fight alone. 

My hurt will never go away. My skeletal neck injuries will remain until I have reconstructive surgery. While I know my pain won’t be going anywhere, it’s not the pain I ask for healing for, but the renewal of my spirit. I don’t need the burden I’ve been given removed, only help to bare it. I have accepted my fate; I just need help getting up and fighting the good fight every day. I cannot do this without my Lord and Savior Jesus. My heart is heavy for the burden I create for my loved ones. Those who take care of me when I cannot get out of bed. Those who make a meal when I hurt too much to cook. To those who comfort me in my time of need. 

God has blessed me, and his will is perfect, and sovereign. All we can do is, no matter what we go through, is to tell the world Jesus. This dark world needs the light of Christ. The great rejection of Jesus is real today, and we need to stand firm on our faith. We worship not because we are healed, but in spite of not being healed, knowing Jesus is Lord. I know one day this broken shell will be remade. I know in one day I will be accepted into glory and this body will not hurt anymore. I know that day will be all the sweater, knowing I suffered for it. 

We may not be able to change our circumstances, but we can change our perspective. We may not be able to take away our pain and struggle, but we can embrace it, to build His kingdom. Let us look different when the world looks down upon us. Let us be so different it bewilders the unbeliever how we can have so much joy in the midst of so much pain. Let us praise our Jesus in the darkest of nights. And when the world hurts us, when the world spits on us, let us remember, 

“Father, give me grace to forgive them, for I feel like I’m the one loosing.” (Losing, By: Tenth Avenue North) 

No matter where you are in your walk, remember if you start to stray, remember, you’re one step away. Jesus is with you, waiting for you to accept him. His love has been with you, and you’ve never been alone. God’s grace and mercy show us, that no matter if you were a tax collector, or a murderer of the innocent, God’s grace is infinite. God’s mercy can transform hearts, and change even the most brutal of people. We are sinners, enemies of God and we’re saved by His grace. We are saved in Faith, and all we must do is repent of our sins, and let Jesus into our hearts, changing us, and becoming something new. Lay down those old rags, and pick up the cloth of a child of the King. Let Jesus break those old chains that bound you to your sin, and free you from that burden. Look to the empty tomb and know he is risen. The cross is empty, Jesus finished the work so we may live, so let us live for Him. 

Go in pace and continue to Love one Another. 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV3r024gS2FRDIbpqnsDwWA

20 Years Later 

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20 Years Later: 

This year the heaviness is greater than that of the recent years. I’m amazed at how deeply emotions can run within us. Since my incident in 2016, and all the subsequent therapy that came after it, I am far more aware of the emotions inside. I can cry at a moment’s notice. I can feel deeply, and feel badly for someone, even connect to the emotions within a show or song. Sometimes it feels like when we were ‘fixing’ me, we may have overdone it a bit in the emotions department. Like turning the dial a bit too far. 

Over the last few days I have found some of the little things have been affecting me more than maybe they should. I have relationships in my life that I feel deeply about and worrying about their soul, crying when no one’s looking, hoping they know Christ. I have wondered what I’m fighting for. I have wondered what I survived for. I have wondered what we fought for. Why did God spare me, but not my friends. Why did those RPG’s miss my truck? Why did the IED’s not disabled the truck and make us easier to kill. Why did the bullet not take my life, but my friends are gone. Why am I here, but my friend doesn’t see his nephew and nieces? Why was I spared, but not them? Why am I writing this, when my friend doesn’t see his son grow up to be a wonderful man? 

All four men left families behind. Loved ones. I have gone over that day so many times. I have remembered it, the details, the sight, sounds, smells, the feelings. It is more vivid, more detailed, more real when this dreadful day comes around. Today I have loved ones in my life that support me, love me, and all I can do is thank God for the time I have been given. I look to my life and know it isn’t deserved. I know I have fallen, and failed more times than I can count, yet God’s grace and mercy are with me. That’s the thing about his mercy, and grace, they aren’t deserved, or earned. We should never be given such blessings, but the thing about God, he’s also love. 

I figured out a long time ago I would never be able to earn my way into God’s graces. I would never feel like I deserved it, and in fact, I would often look to my life asking why God would spend so much time on a wretched sinner like myself. I do not know my purpose, or why God has spared my life so many times, but all I can do is live. I can live and carry those memories with me, and sharing their story. All I can do is carry the memory with me and keep them in my heart. Freedom here is never free, it’s paid for in blood, and sadly, most will never know the depth of sacrifice it has taken for the freedoms of this country. 

Scripture tells us in John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” Jesus showed us what it means to love. Jesus’s actions and forgiveness laid the foundation of what our lives should look like. We love one another, but the way we love is a poor replica of the love given to us by God. We abuse the word love, and we misuse the love we share to others. The service rendered to this country comes at a cost. I heard recently “soldiering isn’t easy on the body.” For some, it’s the end of all things in this world. 

For me, soldiering has left me in Chronic pain, sometimes bad enough to keep me in bed all day. One memory I will forever take with me is that of women being allowed to vote for the first time in Iraq. Was it worth it? What’s the price tag for giving freedoms to someone? What’s the going rate for offering people a chance to write their own course? Sometimes it’s taken for granted, and sometimes it’s spit on. I for one and proud of the work we did in Iraq, but in my heart, I know the price was dear. Many people go about their March 4th, just another day. For me, it’s a day of somber remembrance. For me, it’s a day for tears. For me, it’s a day to remember the cost of those who paid the price for my freedoms in this country. Most take a split second on memorial day, or veterans day to remember, for me, it’s deeper than a long weekend, full of bbq. For me it’s personal. Losing my friends, my comrades, my brothers in arms, taught me that tomorrow is never promised. Scripture tells us that our lives are like a vapor (James 4:14). And we are to number our days, so we may grow in a heart of wisdom (Psalm 90:12). Our time on this earth is short, and all believers have a mission, a purpose. We have all been given spiritual gifts to use in the growth of the kingdom. Life isn’t about the work we do, or the appointments we keep, or the money we make. Life is about the connections. Life is about the relationship with God first, then the body of believers second. We have to look out for one another. In today’s busy fast passed world, people are the worst at keeping in touch. When keeping in touch has never been easier, or taken less effort. With just a few thumb strokes you can call and video chat with someone. A phone call as old fashioned as it is, or a text on some platform. A message takes 5 seconds. We often ignore messages, or “forget”, or didn’t have time. All are poor excuses for neglecting a friendship. 

People today are going through a great deal of pain, and yet there are so few willing to help carry that burden. It’s true we have a level of responsibility for our own cross we bear, and some of our responsibility is to let God handle much of what we deal with, but having those friendships, the people to talk to, not being on an island by yourself, is important. Having believers and friends there is to have iron sharpen iron, so does a sharpens another man. (Proverbs 27:17). From my own personal experience this is not happening as it should. I try not to complain much in my life, mostly because I have grown up thinking most people don’t care. When it comes to the larger things, I’ve become accustom to asking for prayers, but the day-to-day stuff, I usually keep to myself. I do however, on average, send out 15-30 messages a day, to check on people, see how they are, and see if there’s anything they need prayer wise. On a good day, I may receive 2-3 messages in return. Most of those 15-30 messages, I never get a response. From a human perspective, of course this hurts my feelings. From a Christian perspective this hurts my heart. How little do we care, that we cannot take 5 seconds to send any kind of reply. I’m not a fan of the thumbs up emoji, but that would be better than nothing at all. No, today it seems, we are full of neglectful laziness. For some, I can excuse, they saw it, forgot, etc. But never getting back to it, not only is that neglectful of your duties as a friend, but also, in my mind, a reflection of how you feel about the friendship. I may be wrong, but it’s how I feel after dealing with these particular issues for many years now, that it’s only continued to grow worse. 

Life is short, from car accidents, to random public violence, to health problems, we never know if there is a tomorrow. But in reality, what we need to focus on is, ‘is there a tomorrow for them?’ I don’t send the message for just myself, but for the recipient. I send it so they know they are thought of, that they are on someone’s mind, that they are cared for. How many of us feel like someone out there cares enough about us to send us something? I’d say most are few. Such a simple thing to do, a small simple message, a hello, a prayer, showing the love of Christ in such a small, easy, and quantifiable. Yet, we are too busy or just don’t care. 

20 years ago, I today I lost my friends in an attack in the city of Ar-Ramadi. Not a day goes by I don ‘t think of them, but this year has been heavier. Perhaps I see the results of a life left behind, that makes me have a bit more survivors’ guilt than usual. The families they were not here to see, the kids, the nieces, nephews, wives, that those people had to move on or grow up not knowing their fallen loved one. We don’t always know the why, know what God’s plan or purpose is. I learned very early in my life how important our time is, and how short it is. A few days ago I was driving home and there were almost 30 rescue vehicles at the gas station near my home. By the looks of it a car hit the center of a telephone pole. I don’t know exactly what happened, but regardless, that many emergency vehicles, something terrible happened. I don’t know if anyone was killed, but it was a reminder that life changes in an instant. We just don’t know how many days we have. Death is not something we want to think about, but it comes for us all, and not all of us are in our beds and die of old age. It’s just the simple truth. Do we know the Gospel of Jesus Christ? Do we know how our sins condemn us to Hell, a guilty verdict before the judge? Do we know that the only choice of not dying is by the sacrificed blood of Jesus, the Son of God, equal to God? Jesus died so we may live. Jesus died as a lamb for us, but rose as a triumphant King. He is Lord, and creator over all, and a day is coming when every knee will bow, every tongue shall confess he is Lord. Jesus is not just savior, not just the fire insurance, but he is Lord. He deserves our praise, and worship. He deserves our obedience to his commandments. We should want to do as he wishes and commands for us. His sacrifice is not a license to sin, and his grace and mercy are not those things either, but rather we test the waters to see how much we can get away with. Shame on us. We abuse his mercy, we abuse is love, and his grace. And in reality, we do not show the love to our neighbors as we should, when we forsake our friends. We ought to do better, for time is short, and the hour is nearer than it was. What do we need to be saved? Have faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Repent of your sinful ways, and be baptized. The path to destruction is wide, the way to the kingdom is by the narrow way. 

Be blessed, go and love one another as Christ loved and died for the church. 

The Heart of the Matter

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The Heart of the Matter

The heart is a deceitfully wicked thing. In days of old it was not likely scripture was in every house. The Jews certainly did not have their own scrolls, and I dare say most, most likely could not write. Despite not being able to write, maybe not read, they knew scripture. They were able to, through practice memorize the stories, and laws written in their ancient texts. They knew the laws, and they knew God’s word. Today, we have the most access to scripture than any generation before us, yet we know the least about the word of God. 

In my youth, (before cell phones) I had no desire to read scripture. I knew some of the most basic stories, and I knew considerably more than those in my life, concerning scripture, but my own drive, my own longing to keep the word in my heart was sorely lacking. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to know the word of God, it’s more that I was lazy, or too interested in things of the world. As scripture says, “when I was a child, I thought at a child.” When I joined the military, we had a day that we spent at a church, I believe it was for thanksgiving. At the church I received a fairly basic King James Version bible. For the next several weeks, I began reading verses, finding verses I could store up in my heart, and I even highlighted verses to remember and make it easier to find later. Before long a good portion of the bible was highlighted. This wasn’t study however. While I was getting to know verses, I didn’t really know or understand what they meant, who they were written to, or why. I was gaining knowledge of scripture, but not the wisdom to know how to use it. 

While I was in Iraq, I ended up with a small camouflaged Gideons NT. Psalms and Proverbs Bible. It was small enough to fit it in my breast pocket of my uniform, and fit under my body armor. I took the red Bible from basic training, transferred over all the highlighted verses I could, and carried it with me. In the book it had a small section of verses by category, fear, anger, sadness, etc. It made it very easy for me to study while out on missions when I wasn’t getting shot at or kicking down doors. I still didn’t know that what I was doing wasn’t actually studying. Though I had learned a bit more during my time. Even to this day I still have both the Bibles. The Gideons Bible however was damaged when I was forced to jump in the water to retrieve my fallen friend. The highlighted sections bled, the pages forever damaged, but still legible if I needed to use it. It sits safely in my firesafe, for safe keeping. 

When I got out of the Military I spent years in Germany, and never went to church. The Bibles were put away, and I no longer spent time in the word. It’s odd really, God spared me multiple times in Iraq, and many times prior to Iraq, yet in my heart, I still did not desire, or long to be in His word. It’s easy to understand, that our hearts naturally deny God. Our hearts, naturally reject Him. As scripture says, before we are saved through the Blood of Jesus those who put their faith and love in Him, are enemies of God. Romans 5:10. While it’s still difficult for me to memorize verses verbatim, I am able to recall the gist of the verse, and again, difficult to remember the verse chapter and number, I am able to use today’s modern technology to find the verse I want in seconds. Some, like the Romans 5:10 verse I mentioned, have managed to stick in my head. This didn’t come easily though. 

After many years of not doing anything with my faith, no church, no Bible study, not even a daily devotional, I moved back home. When I moved, it was out of necessity, and trauma. I began attending an Episcopal church, and while I no longer do, it was a start for me. For the first time in a long time, my faith was being reignited. I began hearing God, and seeing his works in my life. After moving to the Bible Belt of the United States (North Carolina) I began attending a Baptist Church. After being there for a little while, I was asked if I would be willing to teach. To this day, I don’t know why out of all people I’d be asked, but I was honored to do so. I worked hard on my first lesson. I videoed it for both posterity’s sake, and educational purposes. Kind of like watching film from a football game. The study of scripture came not easily, but not as difficult as I imagined it would. I found I enjoyed the study, and the teaching of God’s word. Sadly, my stubbornness heart, still wanted to do things of the world. 

It wasn’t until 2017 that I began truly diving into the word. I had nearly died, and in September of 2016, I surrendered all to Christ. Once I was healed, I began writing in this very place. My blog was born from two people who supported me, loved me, and wanted me to have an outlet and place to share (my talents). Early on, I was in the word studying day and night. I was writing a minimum of one blog post a day, sometimes, two, sometimes three a day. I was, as they say, ‘on fire’ for the Lord. I wrote at that tempo for a long time. While the site in recent years has dwindled in pace, I would say the content improved. To date, including this publication, there has been a total of 836 posts. Why is this important? It’s certainly not to highlight myself, but rather what God does in us. I could not, not write. I had to study. I had to learn and to grow. Today my study looks much different than it used to. Instead of studying for my blog, I now study for my podcast or (Vlog) as it used to be called. I’m currently going through the book of John. 

https://www.youtube.com/@thearrowpreacher6920/streams

In my own time, I am going through the book of Luke. Satan has a way of distracting us though, even now, I find myself being drawn away. Finding excuses not to study. I’m in pain, or I’m tired, or just plain lazy. It’s easy to let Satan fill your head with excuses to not get into God’s word. But, that’s just the first step. It’s a slow fade. First you start skipping your devotional. Then you stop studying as often. Or you start skipping out on prayers. You may start to sleep in on Sunday and not go to church. Before you know it, it’s been weeks since you went to church, or longer. Satan won, and your relationship with God is now secondary, or worse, not even on a list of priorities. It’s important to recognize the slow drift, in order to course correct and get back on track. 

Let me ask this question for you, my devoted readers, when did you decide Christ was the way the truth and the life? 

Me, I grew up in church, so I always had the feeling God was real. If you recall, I said I surrendered in 2016, but I have always known God. Sadly, I don’t believe he truly knew me, in the ways of a two-way relationship. God, was seeking after me my whole life. That is apparent when reviewing my life. There was a pull from an early age. Questions I would ask in Catholic church while sitting in with the adult bible study, as a 10-year-old. Even though God saved my life on more than one occasion, even though, I felt God pulling at me from childhood, I resisted and wanted to do things my way. I knew God, but I didn’t know God. I didn’t know what he wanted for me, or what he expected of me. I had a pirate’s outlook on scripture. “They are more like guidelines.” (Pirates of the Caribbean) It wasn’t until my very real change of heart in 2016/2017 that I finally realized, just how depraved, and sinful I was. It was then I had realized how desperate I was for a relationship with Jesus and the Father, and allow the Holy Spirit to dwell within me. It was then I understood Psalm 119. 

Psalms 119:10-11 10 With my whole heart I have sought You;

Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments!

11 Your word I have hidden in my heart,

That I might not sin against You.

How my life changed when I began to study. I started to understand how important it was for me to know my faith, so I may have a defense against the dark one who means to destroy me. I learned what it means to put on the whole armor of God. I learned what it means to put scripture in my heart so I might not sin against you. I learned what it meant to have a defense of my faith when others may ask me why I am a believer. Can you answer someone if they asked, why do you believe? 

2 Timothy 4:1-4 “I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: 2 preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. 3 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4 and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.”

There is so much wickedness in the world, those who deny Christ and wish that the whole world would deny Christ. Then there are those who teach and preach the false gospel. Those who wish their ears to be tickled and find preachers to do that for them. I pray I am not he. My understanding is those who choose to preach the word of God are held to a higher standard. We must teach rightly scripture to those around us. How can I do that if I don’t study correctly. I must know what sound doctrine sounds like, and looks like. I must know Scripture so I can see the counterfeit before me. I must study to show myself approved not to man but before God. I must study if I am to understand what He wants of me, and what he expects of me. How am I to know God, if I don’t take time to read the love letter he left before me. Scripture is His word to us. It shows us and tells us who he is, and what he wants for us. Why don’t we want to read it? The heart is deceitfully wicked. It is depraved, and repugnant, in its birth state. It is not till the Holy Spirit puts in us a new heart that we finally understand, and I say, are driven to know Him. 

Let us not forsake our studies. Let us not look to scripture as guidelines, but instead, look at them as the commandments they are. Let us have a relationship with God and that starts through prayer and study of His Holy Word. Let us not be deceived into believing our relationship is fine with just Sunday and Wednesday services. Our relationship starts in our own homes, in our daily lives. If you are not doing this, pray that God ignite a spark in you to light the fire in your soul. Strive to learn, and grow, and have such an intimate relationship with God, that everyone around you notices the difference, because when you do, when you grow in your knowledge of what God expects of us, expects of you, you will be forever changed. Let us have the faith of Paul to tell the world, who is Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Messiah, Lord of Lords. 

Would You Care If You Knew The Truth?

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“Would You Care If You Knew The Truth?“

There was a new artist on the scene recently that released a new song called ‘To Be A Man’. In my own humble opinion, this hits to where men are right now. I was talking to my wife in the car recently, and for me, it looks like this: 

A man is either too emotional for people and told to man up. Bury the emotions and pretend like they don’t exist. 

“It’s the circle of life as a man you provide, they don’t know what you worth, till the day you die, and that’s when they start cryin’, then they move on to a man to confide in.” ‘To Be A Man.’ “It’s not about how we feel but what we provide inside that home.” (To Be A Man by DAX.) 

The other man, is that who by societies terms is full of toxic masculinity. To be a man is to be hostile to today’s ideals. As a White Conservative Christian Man I check all the boxes for me to not just be an outcast, but enemy. Today’s society looks to men as if they are worthless. They are not needed, they are not appreciated, they aren’t even wanted. The famous line from Cher was this, ‘Do you need a man?’ She replies, ‘For what? Today there are videos circling the internet of women saying how much they don’t like men, how little they need them, how little they want them around. We have a push in many areas to de-masculinize men, by changing them fundamentally into fem-boys. The future is a scary place, and for the first time in my life I have questioned the idea of bringing life into this world. I have looked at the world, and I am fearful for the future of the kids I tend to in the church. Revelation is a scary place, and knowing that’s where we are going, the only reprieve I have is the knowledge that Jesus wins the war. But for those who may not know Jesus yet, and for those who are perhaps left behind, their lives are not an easy road. The ‘Mark of the Beast’ is coming, and whether it happens in my lifetime or not, it could. This world has gotten dark, and hostile, and sadly, ‘it’s a lonely road.’ 

As the man of the house and the provider, I’m not sure I am doing a good job. While there are meals on the table, and a canvas roof over our heads, it’s barely scraping by. Every day, I’m dealing with chronic pain and it’s a struggle to get out of bed. I have to muster strength that is not of my own to stand in the morning. My will, my strength is gone, but it’s okay, because I was born for this. I was born in 1984, to live in a certain time, to do a certain job, and I know that I am unsinkable. I know that while the blood is in the water, and the sharks are circlin’ round. (Unsinkable: By Sail North) God put me here to fight the good fight here and now. God put me here to take care of an ailing mother. He put me here to be husband to a wife. The Devil circles round poking at my defenses. I am a man and while there are cracks in the armor, you can knock me down, but I’ll always get back up. It’s not I that stands up, but God who stands me up. It is God whose strength flows through my body, and His will that pushes me forward. To be a man is to be a leader, to be the spiritual guide for the home. To be a man is to have the courage of the Almighty God running through your body. I may be bleeding into the water, I may have my sails torn in the storm, but I will still reach the golden harbor of Heaven. I shall reach my destination with my head held high. I will finish the course He put me on, and no matter the hits the Devil, the deceiver, the enemy, the wolves at the gate pound on me with fierce ferocity, I will fight till my very last breath. I will fight and keep fighting till the day God calls me home. My job here is not done, and God, the creator of all is with me, and my mission here, is to do what he has called me to do. I cannot rest, I cannot be complacent in my life, for the enemy circling round does not rest. The enemy seeks to destroy, to break down, to rip the life from my lungs. God the Father’s Son, shed his blood to provide protection for me. The Holy Spirit, and God’s Heavenly Host of Angels fight for me in a realm I cannot see. How grate is our God who fights for me using the greatest warriors ever created. 

I have been blessed to feel the Holy Spirit with me with a physical touch, a warmth and comfort in the midst of battle. I have been blessed to hear the voice of God and feel his electric touch of life, bringing life back to my body. I did not die that day to live a life of peace. I died that day to spark a warrior to life. I did not die that day to live in the pastures sipping tea watching the peaceful sunset every night. I was brought back to serve, the fight, to be exactly what God wants me to be. While my body never died in the medical sense, something in me died that day. Recently I was exposed to an old quote by a famous author. “My hope is that when I die, all of hell rejoices that I am out of the fight.” C.S. Lewis. I was born for this. I was born to fight here and now, to continue to fight against the darkness that rises over the land. The Soldier in the Armor of God under fire from the flaming arrows, the millions of arrows fired daily, taking shelter under the shield, then using the sandals of light, advancing. Where am I supposed to be? I advance to where the Spirit guides, let the storm roll on wild, let the fight come, let us not cower in fear, for we were not given a spirit of fear, but one of courage. 2 Timothy 1:7. We can stand firm because while we may look small, a Lioness looks small, till her Lion stands behind her and he roars. We have a great and mighty God in our corner, and the demons flee and tremble at the name of Christ. How great is a name, that we don’t just speak his name, but He is with us, standing over our shoulder, and with God with us, who than can be against us. Romans 8:31. 

The life of a soldier is not easy. It’s a calling for those who do it as a profession. Having been a soldier, having fought in combat, having seen the horrors of it, I know the sacrifice that comes with. Being chosen by God automatically made me a Christian soldier. I was chosen before the first dawn on this world, chosen to live here in this time for a purpose. God makes no mistakes, and he waists nothing. My ship recently may be getting pummeled by the army of Satan, but I know that no matter what, I will make it to my destination. The Golden Harbor, the Pearly Gates, the everlasting paradise with streets made of Gold, an eternity with God, await me. Until the day the Lord calls me home, I shall fight the good fight. I will continue to make life hard for Satan, I will continue to take his attacks, for I know who’s with me. Men, society may not want you, but God does. They may not value you, but God does. Society may not love you, but God does. 

What is it to be a man? It’s to be the spiritual leader of the home. The provider. It’s being a living example of Jesus Christ in our homes. It matters not what society says about being a man, or men in general. What matters is what God expects of you. It’s being a soldier for the Lord, and fighting the fight to keep the family safe against the enemies at the gate, the sharks circlin’ round. It’s a teacher, teaching the ways of the Lord to your family so they may resist the Devil’s attacks. Be an example of Christs love and mercy, and discipline. I’m more than my parts, I’m a child of the King, I’m an Heir to Heaven. I’m unsinkable, I’m unbeatable, for as long as the Holy Spirit is in me, No one can pluck me from His Hands, I am HIS. 

I Can Only Imagine

 By Mercy Me

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk by Your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes would see
When Your face is before me
I can only imagine

Arrow Preacher Podcast

https://www.youtube.com/live/jW0NZOq53v4?si=4O2U8ZXJpg2RkuFB

https://youtu.be/FiDeLJqwYAU?si=6aXaDQasGsfAWUfn

Hardships Endure 

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Hardships Endure 

It’s no secret that my life has been one of hardships, heartache, and difficulties. Not saying I haven’t had good times, even great times, but as a friend once told me, ‘if it weren’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.’ From an early age I have experienced hardships most people at my age couldn’t imagine, and wouldn’t have known what those hardships were called. As I was told, before I was three years old I knew the word Anesthesiologist. By the time I was three years old I had undergone 4 surgeries. By the time I was 16, I had 7 surgeries, and by the time I was 18 I had 9 surgeries. Needless to say, I was familiar with doctors and hospitals. 

By the time I was 19 I had moved several times. One of those times was a move by myself from Michigan across the country to Massachusetts. Each of the times, minus one, I moved by myself away from family. With every move I was left with heartache, and struggle. For most of my life I didn’t feel I had a home, and even now, I don’t have a place to call my own. The feeling of failure has been and is quite real for me. In recent months I have been given a grave diagnosis, and while I have been attempting to manage the emotional fallout, I find myself fatigued. How can I take care of myself, if I am broken and in constant pain. Chronic pain takes a toll on the human mind, and can often cause frustration, sadness, depression, and anger. On a deeper level, the combined aspects of pain, physical issues, living situation, it often leaves me feeling inadequate, worthless. I don’t care much for the idea of self-esteem, simply because we should know and understand our place in this world as broken, sinful, enemies of God. However, on the flip side of that coin, we are also loved and grafted into the Kingdom of God, through the grace and mercy of Jesus. Needless to say finding a balance is important. A balance I have not been doing so well at, as of late. 

When I go through hardships I try to think of a few characters from scripture. The first and most notable is Job. Job’s hardships are quite obvious and extensive. His losses and trials stand testament to struggles for all people. I then consider the trials Paul faced. As a loyal servant of Jesus, Paul faced beatings, stoning, jail, poverty, and ultimately murdered by beheading. Recently however, the person I have been considering most is Elijah. In his pain, he cried out to the Lord to take his life. In his sorrow he did not want to be left alive, as he also felt his surviving was that of failure. 

Soldiers who lose others, lose comrades in battle often feel what’s known as survivors’ guilt. It is said that those who survive often wish their places be switched with those who died. Elijah it seems may have been dealing with some of this guilt and challenges. I have felt this way in the past. When I lost friends in combat, I was there, and witnessed what happened. I attempted to save my friend, and sadly failed to do so. I had intuition of an impending attack, and sadly that did nothing to prevent it from happening. In recent times, I have wondered what my purpose is, and as I have recently been given a difficult prognosis regarding my physical health, I have been put into a position where I’m not sure how to manage the emotional fallout. This recent revelation of difficult times ahead has left me with little recourse, and no control over what happens next. 

In hard times I have grown from a scared 11-year-old, an angry 30-year-old, to a seasoned, faithful servant of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. In the past I would compartmentalize a trauma, and move on. This would leave me more broken than where I started and never truly dealt or handled the trauma. Today, I face these problems head on. I look to James who says, count it all joy when you fall into various trials. How can I look at where I am and be in Joy? I have often asked myself, if James were to have been diagnosed with cancer would he still have found joy in such diagnosis? The answer, is yes. James knew and understood who the Lord Jesus was, and in that understanding he knew that whatever we go through in this life, it is temporary. It isn’t why we are going through these things, but rather how we respond to them. With the world watching us in every situation we are in, how are we showing our faith to the people around us? I’m not saying cancer is easy, nor am I saying major life changing back surgeries are easy either, but what I am saying is that, people are looking to you because you may be a mentor to them. You may be someone’s inspiration, or even someone’s curiosity. Here’s an example: 

You go to work every day, and people at work know you’re a Christian. You have a smile on your face, and you talk about Jesus, but life is generally smooth for you. A bombshell hits, and you lose a child in a car accident. This tragedy leaves you devastated, and you become bitter with God, or worse, you walk away all together. Those whom you once shared your faith with, now see you walking away. How strong was your faith, that you would walk away, and what message does that send to those who may have been on the fence to follow Jesus or not? Someone is always watching you, whether it be a friend, family, coworker, or one of the kids from Church. Someone is always watching, and how we deal with trials and tribulations, is more important than the worship we give during times of still waters. It is easy to praise God when it’s smooth sailing, but when the going gets tough, that’s when a persons’ true nature is exposed. I’m not saying we don’t struggle during hardships, but ultimately, how strong is your faith? Are you like Peter on the water with Christ? Faithful for a few moments, until the waves crash around you, and you sink? What did Jesus say? “Oh ye of little faith.” Do we have little faith when times get tough? 

We must work on our faith and focus on our attitude and behaviors, and our emotions. I myself struggle with emotional positivity when things get hard. I struggle to stay away from the pity party I often throw for myself, albeit internally. I hide my feelings from many people, and perhaps share too little to others and sometimes too much to some. As I woke up this morning sore from head to toe after putting up the new tent, I find myself struggling to walk around the house. The pain I feel in my back is more than just sore, different from the sore in my legs and arms. While it’s a challenge to get around the house today, the Lord blessed me with the opportunity to work hard, and do something for my family. The replacement for the tent I have lived in for nearly three years arrived and was in need of being put up. A fresh, brand-new tent with no patches, or holes, no leaks, and no extra rope required. I could focus on the fact I am sore and hurting today, or I could focus on the gift from God, for a place to live. No one said following Jesus was easy, and as we see in scripture, hardships come to all who follow God. All of the prophets in scripture had challenges to overcome, David and Solomon had their own challenges, Daniel and Elijah, had their challenges. Peter, Paul, Matthew, and the others had their challenges, and even death. Do we face hardships like Steven does in the book of Acts? Steven in the face of death by stoning said this, Acts 7:60  “Then he knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not charge them with this sin.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep. (Died)” Steven in the last moments of his life, didn’t curse his killers, but asked forgiveness from God to them. It isn’t easy, but we are called to have faith, not just in good times, but in the inevitable hard times. Some people think when you turn to Jesus and you follow him, those hard times will go away, and everything will be great, if you just have enough faith, and tithe. The truth is, this is a false gospel, this is a lie from Satan, that when the hard time does come you walk away from God because it wasn’t as you envisioned. Faith is not easy, and following Christ is hard. There’s a reason it says in scripture to pick up your cross and follow me (Jesus). There’s a reason Jesus tells you there will be trouble in the world, but have faith because He overcame the world. All these things are promised to the believer, and most importantly we know that the path to destruction is wide, while the path to the kingdom of God is narrow, few will enter into it. The path of a Christian is full of hardships and tears, but how great is the Kingdom of eternity, compared to the little while of hardships in this life? 

Today is one more day to do better than the last. Today is a day to rejoice because it is a day the Lord made. We are beautifully and wonderfully made for a purpose and we must turn to God, not to ask why, but in thanks for what we have been given. We have been given life, and an opportunity to Grow closer to Him, to turn to the Father in our time of need, and praise Him in the storm. We know Jesus has the power to calm the storm, but we can’t always expect He will. What we can expect is that Jesus is there with us. Jesus will lead us to the mountain top, or beside peaceful streams, and still waters. Jesus will hold our tears, and comfort us when we are in pain. He will rejoice with us when we rejoice. We do not travel this world alone, and since life is but a vapor compared to eternity with the Father, we should be thankful for the good times, and prepare for battle during the hard times. Face the trials with bravery and courage. Get up each day we are allowed to get up and be thankful for it. No matter where we are, thank God for the opportunity to live our lives worshiping Him and allowing others around us to see God in us. 

God knows what we are going through. God sees our heartache and our hurt. I implore you to bring it all to the table. I beg you, if you are sorrowful, and sad, and angry, bring your weight before the alter, bring it all before a loving and understanding God and put your baggage down. You are accepted before the alter as you are and when you leave everything there, when you lay it all down, and when you surrender to the Lord you leave a different person. The battle is not yours to win, but has already been won by Jesus, our Savior. The battle belongs to Jesus, and while we struggle with life, a place is promised where that hurt, and sorrow doesn’t exist. The burden we carry is not for us, for we are called to trust in the Lord. Psalm 55:22 “Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.” Trust in the Lord and surrender all. Do not carry your burdens alone, for you have been given a choice to trust in God, or try to do it on your own. When you cast your burdens upon the Lord, allow the Holy Spirit to come into your heart, and heal you, change you from the person dead in their sins, but reborn as a believer of Christ. Come as you are, leave changed. 

Years End 2023

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Years End 2023

This has been a year of ups and downs. This year I have had some wonderful memories, but also deep hurt. I am happy to say that in April I was married to my best friend. I had the most memorable wedding I could have ever dreamt of. It was full of all things nerd, from Star Trek, to Star Wars, Power Rangers, Lord of The Rings, light saber fights, Titanic, a little Renaissance and elves. It was pretty amazing if I do say so myself, having planned the whole thing. I know, weird for a guy to plan a wedding, but we all have to step up sometimes. The honeymoon was amazing and different to say the least. 

While it has been amazing to have my wife here from the Philippines, I wish I could say this year has been a honeymoon type year, but it has not. From troubles over the summer, to health issues, to financial struggles, to troubles with the tent (that we live in) and then planning for a surgery, it has been a tough year. 

Just a week ago I received a call from my surgeon and the surgery was canceled, and not for a good reason. The surgery would be far more extensive, but because of that, it has to wait, likely for several or more years. Meaning there is nothing we can do to fix the problem now. I have to face the fact my neck is really messed up, and the only fix is not something we can do now. 

Then, there’s the loss of my beloved Cooper. He was 11 years old, and trained as a service dog. While he dropped out of training, he became an amazing therapy dog. He was beloved by the whole family. He was the gentlest, and soft, squishy dog out there. He was very similar to a Squishmellow. His loss has been devastating to me above everyone else. His loss has hurt me more than the rest of the family. While it’s only been a few weeks since his loss, it’s still very near to my broken heart. 

While there have been hardships, I can say God has shown up in a mighty way. God works things out, and while I don’t understand much of what’s transpired this year, I know that God is in control, God is sovereign and as scripture says, Psalm 24:18 “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.”

It seems fitting that today of all days, I am sick. While this year has had some great moments, sadly it has been far outweighed by the hardships. That being said, that’s not always a bad thing. Trials are tough, but it is in these times we need to turn to God. James 1:2-4 “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” I can say with absolute certainty, I have not missed anything this year. While I have often struggled on my veteran’s income to make ends meet, the Lord has provided. I have struggled with a great many things this year, but I have never gone without shelter, or food, friends, and most importantly I have not gone without my lovely wife, my beautiful Filipina bride. She has been such a blessing in my life, a beautiful gift of God’s perfect will for my life. 

I have a great many prayers for this upcoming 2024, and the biggest of those prayers is that my wife continues to grow with the Holy Spirit. It’s that she knows God more, and has a closer relationship to Him. I pray that my family remains safe, happy and healthy. I pray that my wife and I continue to grow together as we put God first and as we get closer to God, we shall grow closer in our marriage. Scripture is clear that God is always the priority. We know as a God-fearing couple, that God comes first before each other. I know that may sound strange to some, but when you look at a triangle if God is at the top, and her and I are each of the bottom points, as we grow closer to God, the distance between us grows closer also. I cannot speak highly enough of my wife and how wonderful and amazing and caring she is. 

In recent months I have worked with Wounded Warrior Project, and I am thankful that I was selected to be a peer mentor for the male Project Odyssey. I have also begun to spend a great deal of time with a local veterans group that does a ton of projects and outreach for our community. I pray that 2024 allows me more time to reach out to more people, share the gospel, and my prayer is to continue to serve, to take the time God has given me and serve more faithfully. I pray that my wife and I study together more, and I can be faithful in my own personal studies. I pray the Lord uses me to grow His kingdom. I pray that the Lord blesses me with a positive outcome for my fight to get my social security benefits so I may better provide for my family. I pray that as things change, I may be able to find a home that isn’t a canvas one, as I still nearly 3 years now, live in a tent. I also pray the Lord continues grow my blog, and I pray the Lord will bless me with the money to get the podcast equipment I need to work on it. Most of all, I just ask that the Lord be with me. I am thankful for Jesus and the sacrifice He made on Cavalry for me. In a whisper thousands of angels were at his disposal and he could have chosen to wipe out the entirety of the earth. Considering how poorly the creator of the universe was treated when he came to this place, when he stepped out of eternity, and came into time. Jesus humbled himself to be born of a woman. He humbled himself to step out of glory and put on flesh. He was born not in an Inn, or at home, or in a palace, but rather in a place where the animals laid, and he himself was laid in a manger, a feeding trough, and covered in swaddling cloth, just simple pieces of cloth ripped from clothing to cover him. Jesus showed us grace and mercy we did not deserve then, and do not deserve now. Jesus was rejected in his own home town of Nazareth. He was rejected by the same people he came to save, and he hung on that agonizing tree he created, to be the spotless lamb for us. He took our place, a sentence of death and Hell we deserved. He did not give us what we deserve and as such, we need to do what is right, and that is to commit ourselves to the Lord. Not just as fire insurance in a savior, but in Lord over all creation. 

Have we humbled ourselves to Jesus as Lord? Have we taken down our selfish pride and need to be in control, and replaced it with selfless service to the Lord Jesus? As we step from 2023 to 2024, the change in the calendar doesn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things, but let us start the year off right. Let us remember the reason we are here and that is to worship and serve a rightness and Holy God. To follow Jesus if he is a lie, you lose nothing. BUT if he is the TRUTH, which he is, and there is plenty of evidence to prove he is, if you do not follow Jesus, you lose everything. Consider the evidence, consider the nature of the Bible, the truth of the life of Jesus, the testimony of lives changed through the work of Christ, and know that He is the Way, the Truth, the Life, and no one gets to the father but through Him. Jesus did not come to be a way to the Father. He did not come so you could live a life your own way, covered in your own sin, and think of God’s law as mere guidelines. If scripture says it’s a sin, then no amount of time or cultural change, will alter the fact that sin is the same yesterday, as it is today, as it will be tomorrow. Sin is treason against a Holy and Righteous God, and must be treated as such. Grace is not justification to sin, and no amount of feelings, will change what sin is. Scripture says to reject sin, so hate your own sin, and flee from it, not get comfy with it and just accept it as normal or right. There is no justification for living in sin. Jesus came to fulfil the law of Moses, to be the substitution for our sins, to rule from the right hand of the father, being our mediator, our high priest, and when Satan goes before the throne, the great accuser and points out our failings, Jesus’s blood covers us, and the father only sees the blood of his son.  Let us start off this next year on the right foot. Let us know Jesus, and more importantly, let us live a life in which Jesus knows and sees us. There will be many people in Hell who knew scripture, who said they knew Jesus, but their heart was in the wrong place. Let us know who He is as Lord, and what can we do to serve Him, not to receive anything in return, but to worship Him because He deserves worship. We do not worship and give so that we may be blessed in return. It is not if you are faithful God will give you everything you want, and if you tithe you will receive bountiful wads of cash in return. If you pray and are faithful enough you will be healed, because none of that is scriptural. 

I leave you with this, 

The FIVE SOLA’s

Sola Gratia- Saved by Grace Alone

Sola Fida – Through Faith Alone

Solus Christus- In Christ Alone

Sola Scriptuara – According to Scripture Alone

Soli Deo Gloria – For the Glory of God Alone 

We are not saved by works, or traditions, or how much we tithe. We are saved by grace, through faith, in the finished works of Christ, according to the word of God (Scripture) and in the Glory of God alone. Have a glorious new year and may God bring blessings upon you, may he create in you a new heart made of flesh. May you be a new creation, and may the Holy Spirit come to you so you may worship and know God. 

Happy New Year 2024. 

The Christmas Fight

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The Christmas Fight

To say the least this year has been a tough year. I have struggled with physical issues, issues at home, government agency issues, financial struggles, and more. In just the month of December I have faced the loss of a beloved therapy dog of 11 years, Cooper. I am facing the loss of my home for the last three years, my tent, my man cave, my bat cave, my studio in the great outdoors. After a recent storm, stitching has been damaged and is not able to be repaired. As I prepare for my upcoming surgery, I find myself struggling. I see the world on fire, Israel under attack, Christianity and a Biblical way of life under attack, and I have struggled to not get swept away. I have watched as Christmas has been so watered down, diluted by the Devil, that the meaning of Christmas is getting lost by the great majority. We are about to celebrate the birth of God the man, who was born of a virgin mother, carried for nine months and born in a little town called Bethlehem, Israel. We are about to celebrate the birth of a Jewish man 2020+ years old, in a place, that apparently the world says was only theirs since 1948. When you perpetuate a lie long enough people begin to believe it. I have been struggling with loss these last couple weeks, and through it all, through the hardships, concerns, stressors, I know that there is something more. I have prayed and wondered where the means would come from to replace the existing tent with a new one. I have prayed how I would receive a chair to sit in and recover for this extended recovery time. I have prayed how I would manage over the next nine months, BUT GOD, always has a plan. It’s so easy to get wrapped up on the world, that you forget to look to the one, the only one who can truly do anything about the struggles we go through. 

God has presented a path. We often expect when we follow God that the road is now a smooth path. I consider the tale of Christian in the Pilgrims Progress. A man walking and minding his own business as a good Christian should, when a man named Worldly steps in and shows him a much smoother more glorious looking path. Christian in his naivety follows the path, which nearly leads him to destruction. Our path as a Christian is hard, and uneven, rocky, hilly. Sometimes it will lead us to peaceful rivers, some meadows, and the mountain top, but also the valley. We must learn how to be prepared no matter where we find ourselves. Why people think the world will be an easier place full of prosperity and health and wealth I will never understand. One look at the Apostle Paul who gave up all his wealth and fame, prestige, in exchange for the beatings, the jail cells, the vipers, ship wrecks, did I mention the multiple beatings and stoning? This would all lead to his ultimate beheading, but it seems to me he got the better deal in the end. The Devil may give us all our earthly desires, the same he tempted Christ with, only to keep us from our Lord Jesus. Do we follow Jesus because of what is in it for us, or the fact we are wretched sinners, who deserve death, and Hell, and knowing his sacrifice for us, we can humble beyond our pride, and worship our creator, Lord and Savior? 

The simple fact is, Jesus is with me. He sent his Helper, the Holy Spirit to be with us, and I know that loosing Cooper, loosing my mobility, facing housing challenges, facing off against government agencies, I know the Lord is with me. The devil is trying hard to distract me, to pull me away from Jesus, but God’s grace is sufficient. God trains our fingers for war, and we are soldiers fighting on the front lines. We face off against the commercialism of Christmas. We face off against the lies of those who wish to bury Christianity, and all sense of rationalism. We face off against health and wealth gospels. But we must realize the battle is already won. The end of the story is written. Christ wins the day. And while the story was written when it started, for us it goes back a little more than 2020 years ago when time was split, and a concert was performed in the sky by a multitude of the Host of Heavenly Angels. A line in scripture we often graze over. A bunch of Angels appeared over the shepherds in the sky and sang about Jesus. 

Luke 2:8-14

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,

    and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

This Host, a word that means Army, this Army of the heavenly angels gathered in the sky and sang a glorious concert over the shepherds. These angels stated the divinity of this baby boy. This king who humbled himself out of time, out of heaven, split time in two and took off his glory, and put on flesh, is not just a baby to be celebrated at Christmas, but every day. This baby, became a man, and bore our sins for us. This baby would take the punishment we deserve. This baby would take the beating, the ridicule, the humiliation, the torture, and would in the perfection of time, trade his life for ours. The God-Head prior to the death of Jesus had not experienced death, and for us, even though we didn’t deserve to be saved, He saved us. A loving God came to earth and was born of a poor family, lived a poor life, lost his earthly father at an early life, and had no place to lay his head. Jesus faced the humiliation of putting on this frail and fragile flesh, and allowed it to be broken for us, even though we are enemies of God. WE have since the fall of man, and continue to be guilty of cosmic treason, rebelling in our flesh against God. The Angels sang Glory to God in the highest, and said that the Messiah was Lord. There is no mistaking these words, Jesus and the father are and will always and have been one.

In just a couple days, we will gather with family and friends, we will open presents, and we will share food and laughs, but I ask this, please take a moment out of your day and have a solemn minute to thank God, to thank Jesus for enduring the cross for us. A loving God took upon the most painful experience known to man, the cross, and endured it in its entirety. This word crucifixion in which we get our word excruciating, was taking our place on that rugged cross. Jesus could have said in an instant, he was done with us, done with that cross, and he could have said “I don’t want to do this anymore!” Come off that cross and wiped us off the face of the earth. He instead said “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” He could have not finished the work on the cross knowing we would continue to sin against a righteous and holy God. Instead, he gave up his life for us. He came into time for us. He split time itself, BC/AD, for us. He fulfilled the law, redeemed God’s people, and grafted the gentiles into the heavenly family. 

God has blessed me with much and I know to be grateful for what I have. Has this year been difficult, absolutely, but I know that as a soldier I will struggle. I know that this life isn’t made for us to have it easy, but instead, learn to fight the fight. Learn to turn to God. Scripture never says follow me and all things will be made easy. No, in fact, it says, take up your cross daily, deny yourself, do not be conformed of this world, take up no earthy treasures. As Christians continue to fight the good fight against false teachers, hate, crime, discrimination, and war. I ask you to keep your focus on the light of the world. Take time to see Jesus in this world. As Boromir said (LOTR) “Yes, there is weakness. There is frailty. But there is courage also, and honor, to be found in Men.” Do not lose hope, for even though it seems dark, and hopeless, it is not. Jesus said, “take heart for in this world you will have tribulations, but I have overcome the world.” John 16:33. 

This is a birthday, so let us celebrate it. Let us remember the true meaning of Christmas. It wouldn’t be Christmas without an honorable mention. I have grown in my faith and as such, I have attempted to scale back the use of Santa in my decorations. While I do not begrudge Santa, I am reminded of how Coca-Cola changed the image of Santa. I am reminded of the movie “Miracle on 34th Street” When the spirit of Christmas became so commercial, it has a famous line in the movie. The real Santa, Saint Nicholas, of Asia Minor was known to be particularly generous to children in need. There are dozens of stories of his kindness and generosity. The truth, he was imprisoned for his faith. He also is said to have punched a heretic in the face for speaking falsely about God. The true memory of Santa is something to be read about and celebrated. While I do enjoy the occasional movie about Santa, let us remember the real Santa knew Jesus and exhalated Christ. Let us remember this is about the birth of our savior, not the toys, and baubles. It’s about the miracle of a virgin birth, a child entering by woman, grown from an embryo, in the fullness of time, Jesus was born the God/Man. Let us have a safe and very Merry CHRISTmas. Let us put the Christ back in Christmas. Let us celebrate this Jewish man, born over 2000 year ago, in a place ravaged by war and strife today. I am broken hearted this Christmas, but I know Jesus holds my tears, and one day, I will cry no more tears, will suffer no more, because of the life that started as a little baby born, who’s cry broke 400 years of silence. Praise God, thankful to our King, Lord, and Savior. 

Merry CHRISTmas to all, and may blessings be upon you. 

Hope In The Darkness 

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Hope In The Darkness 

Death comes for us all. We are but a vapor, (James 4:14). Scripture is clear that our purpose in creation was to have a free will relationship with God, but also to take care of his creation, the earth. God holds such value in us, that Lucifer rebelled against God the Father, and knowing he cannot win an outright attack on the Father, targets the children, us. While we no longer live in the several hundred years range, and the theory I have for that, is the longer our bodies are corrupted by Sin, and death, without modern medicine we would die far younger and younger. Obviously, we aren’t a healthy creature, as we can see here in the U.S., just look around. There is hate abounding all around us. “So much death. What can men do against such reckless hate? (King Theoden, Two Towers). The hope Theoden was looking for was the sunrise to the East, where Gandolf had said, on the third morning look to the East. We too, like King Theoden, need to have hope and look to the East. 

We live in dark times, and by the looks of it, getting darker by the day. Even though we live in dark times, and we should expect them to get darker, we also need to remember the one who conquered death. Before Jesus, the trinity did not know the taste of death. It was Jesus that died on the cross, and just when Satan had believed his victory was complete, Jesus was raised, the stone pulled away, and a resurrected Jesus walked out of that cold dark tomb. What hope do we have in death? Tetelesti, ‘It is Finished’. (John 19:30) The price we were owed for our sins was death, and is death if we do not have faith in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. But Jesus paid the bill for us. 

In Exodus we see a mirror for the cross. The serpents bite and kill the Israelites, and God tells Moses to make a bronze serpent, raise it on a pole, and if those who look upon it in faith, for them they shall be healed. The key word is faith. Our hope rests in what Jesus had done, but ultimately it is our faith that saves us. Jesus gift to us, his grace and mercy, are gifts, but if we do not accept it, it is useless to us. It is our faith, as simple as faith is in concept, it is this faith that saves us. 

I have heard many in my life say, ‘show me evidence that there is a god and I’ll believe it.’ This is perhaps one of the most foolish notions I have heard. Judas spent nearly three years with Christ, he witnessed all he was, all he said, and still betrayed him for the price of a common slave, 3O pieces of silver. When someone sees and still rejects, we need to understand that for some people, they may never accept Jesus, no matter the evidence. We have hope because as the Israelites needed to have hope in God’s plan, there is hope is the savior, Jesus, and we are saved through that. There are multiple books that takes a deep look at the evidence, and two in particular were written by ex-atheist. “The Case For Christ” By: Lee Strobel, and “Cold-Case Christianity” By: J. Warner Wallace. Strobel was a journalist, and Wallace a Cold Case Detective, both Atheists, till they were led to disprove Christianity. 

We can look at many figures in history that changed their path to follow Christ, the most prominent is Paul, formerly Saul in the New Testament. He gave up power, fame, prestige, wealth, comfort, to be beaten, prisoned, stoned, shipwrecked, and ultimately beheaded, all in the name of Christ. People to go great lengths to gain what he gave up, not the other way around. 10/11 people (Apostles) do not go to their deaths knowing something is a lie. The Bible also uses women as eye witnesses, which I have spoken about in Women, Why Women,

https://thearrowpreacher.com/2018/08/13/women-why-women/ 

We need to understand that while the point of this post is not an apologetics argument, it cements the hope we have in Jesus, because in a dark world, we need to have assurance that what we know is true, and that Jesus is in fact that hope. I have in fact written another post on apologetics

 https://thearrowpreacher.com/2018/07/17/apologetics/

Jesus is our hope, because we have assurance that scripture is in fact that inspired word of God. We have assurance that Jesus rose again and was seen by no less than 500 people after his very real death, a death that the Romans could not fake or make a mistake. We have hope because Jesus fulfilled hundreds of prophecies, and the odds of doing that are impossible, even statistically. So, again, why is all this important? Because we have assurance in who Jesus is, and who he said he was. 

Jesus is the Lamb of God, who left his throne at the right hand of the Father, and came to Earth to be the propitiation of us sinners. Jesus became the atonement for sinners repenting and having faith in Him, that he is “The way, the Truth, and the Life.” (John14:6) While not everyone will be saved, it is important to make that distinction. Not everyone will walk through the gate at the end of the narrow way. Some people will reject Jesus, and will continue to reject Jesus in their own Hell. There is but one way to have hope in the darkness, and that way is to follow Jesus. To put your faith in him. You must realize you are a sinner, and there is nothing you can do to make that right. There is nothing in your own power or works, that makes you worthy of Heaven, the home of an almighty and perfect God. Our works before perfection are nothing. Heaven is not where all roads converge of many faiths or religions. There is but one way to Heaven, and that’s through Jesus, not by your own works, but of the finished work of Jesus. 

I have seen much death in my life. I have watched as friends have died, close family. I have watched first hand as soldiers I knew died on the battlefield. I have watched death before my very eyes. We know death will come to all, and scripture tells us to number our days, so we may grow in a heart of wisdom. (Psalm 90:12). Death is not the end but the beginning. Death is only permanent for those who don’t know Christ. Death is but the final frontier. 

Death The Final Frontier

None of us know how much time we have, but we know that we are to live our lives. Though we live in a world of darkness, death, hurt and heartbreak, we can prevail over death, we have hope that this is not home, but home awaits us. We have a mansion waiting for us in a land we cannot comprehend, where the almighty God sits upon the throne and we get to worship a Holy God along with the choir of Angels. Do not wait till the trumpet sounds to make a choice. Know God and let God know and have a relationship with you. Trust in Him with all your heart and lean not upon your own understanding, but walk in faith, not by sight. 

Before The Trumpet Sounds

Be Steadfast

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Be Steadfast

1 Corinthians 15:58

“58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.”

Paul here is talking about the saved and the victory over death itself, not in the victory of what they have done, but the Christ’s victory we believers and followers have inherited. “O Death, where is your sting, O Hades, where is your victory.” 1 Cor. 15: 55. Our faith in Jesus is rewarded not so much in this life, but in that we have life, eternal life. Death is the final mystery, the finish line that while may be a scary thing to some, is much like the third brother in the Deathly Hallows story from harry potter. “And he met death like an old friend.” Those who are known by Christ, and know Christ should not fear death, but when our work here is finished, and we are called home, that we should embrace that time, and be ready to meet our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 

The way is not an easy path. Jesus says this, 

Matthew 7:13-14 

13 “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. 14 Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.

Because the gate is so narrow, and Christ himself said the narrow gate of life is a difficult path, we must therefore be steadfast (FIRM), immovable (NOT TO BE MOVED FROM ITS PLACE, UNMOVED). We are told to wear the sandals of the gospel of peace. We are to look at the sandals like Roman Armor. Studded cleats that allowed the soldier to dig in, to push into the dirt to hold ground and never lose it. The way is one of difficulty and challenge, and one with many adversaries, and yet we are given the tools to prevail against difficult times. That no matter what comes your way, to hold your ground, and not give an inch to the enemy who seeks to destroy you. 

“This hill, though high, I covet to ascend; 

The difficulty will not me offend. 

For I perceive the way to life lies here. 

Come, pluck up, heart; let’s neither faint nor fear. 

Better, though difficult, the right way to go, 

Than wrong, though easy, where the end is woe.” 

― John Bunyan, The Pilgrim’s Progress

We all have work to do while here on Earth. This life is one of purpose, and while many seek the meaning of life, it’s actually quite simple, “Love God with all your heart, mind and soul.” In this love, and faith, works are a byproduct. In this faith, it produces works, and your purpose or rather your mission, if your purpose is to love God, then your mission is one of mystery. Everyone has a different mission, or specific mission. The grand mission is to fulfill the great commission. To go and make disciples. 

Matthew 28:18-20

18 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.

For each of this, this mission looks different. Some will be missionaries here at home, some will go overseas. Some will be pastors, some will be deacons, some will serve in the choir, or just be a good Christian at work and home. Everywhere we go, from home, to Wal-Mart, to the doctor’s office, is the mission field. The go is less relevant, than the do. Make is the action here, wherever you go, make disciples. The work of the Lord is given to every Christian, and the gifts and talents given to every person to help them fulfill this mission is important. Every gift comes from the Lord, and that includes the talents you have been given. Every person is beautifully, and wonderfully made. Crafted to be special, and unique. In my post, ‘Are you special’ I said this “We aren’t special because of the gifts we are given, simply because we are given those gifts to be used to bring glory to God, so before God the gifts he gave us aren’t what makes us special at all.” Our gifts are to be used to bring Glory to God and help us in our mission to share the good news, the hope and love of Jesus Christ. 

Are You Special?

We are special in that we are loved by Christ, but in our uniqueness, we are given gifts, talents to aid us in our quest. We all work in ministry of some way because as I said in ‘Find your ministry’

“Ministry is service to the Body of Christ. Every job, every works in the service to the Lord as according to your gifts is ministry.”

Find Your Ministry

We must never give up and grow wearing of doing these things. Let us recap: Be steadfast/firm, immovable from the path, the way of the truth, the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Against the attacks of the enemy stand firm having been given the Armor of God, the sandals of the Gospel of Peace, to dig into the dirt when the enemy pushes you, attacks you. The work you do is important, and the works we do while not what saves us, are the byproduct of our faith. It is the faith that produces good works in the name of Christ. We want to serve in His name, not for our own pride, nor is it working towards salvation, but we work because we want to share the good news that’s been shared to us. We are not saved by works lest any man should boast. (Ephesians 2:8-10), for we are saved by grace, through faith. 

It is the path of a Christian that is difficult, and sometimes along the way we may feel discouraged. We may feel broken down. The path is not an easy one, and just like a hike up the side of the mountain, there may come a time when you are tired, worn out, discouraged and wanting to quit. This is what the last part of the verse means. “knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord”. When we are walking the narrow path, the hard path, the path of righteousness, we know that no matter what comes our way, no matter the attacks from Satan and his minions, or just the hardships of living in the sinful world, that we know what we do will never be in vein. The Lord will use our works, He will use our efforts for His own Glory. When we want to give up, we must remember that We do not walk this path alone. We do not serve God in a bubble but are joined with the Body of Christ, the other believers we are to surround ourselves with. We are told to bare one another’s burdens. We know that we work, we toil for the Lord, and those works will be used by God to multiply the Kingdom. We may feel useless, or worthless, helpless, or just tired of doing good, but Paul says this: 

Galatians 6:9

“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”

God will bless our works if done in Righteousness (Right standing with God). IF, and only if, our works are done for the right reasons, with the right heart, God will bless us, and no matter if we see that blessing on earth in this life or the next, we will see the blessing, but know this, we do not work for the blessings, but to be in the absence of the Lords blessing, would not be Ideal. We have endless choices in our lives, and when we choose to do good, let us do good for the sake of God. Let us do what is right before God and not our own hearts. Let us pick up the Cross, and die to ourselves every day, so we may be more Christlike. Let us put aside the things we love about our sin, but rather put it away with all malice, and choose to do what is right. Let us have faith in God and our Heavenly Father, knowing His way is righteous, and ours is that of death. Find peace inside yourself, not that peace is found in us, but prayer that His perfect peace is placed upon us. We are given His peace, when he said “27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27.” 

One day the journey in this life will end and for me, I have only one hope in that day, the day I meet my Lord and Savior, I hope to hear these words, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” 

Matthew 25:23 23 His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’

I want to know that in my life, while I will undoubtedly let down my God, I will break his heart in my sinfulness, and I will stray from the path, in the end I will bring a smile to His face. I want to know that while my works would never be good enough to earn my way into Heaven, that I would serve in a pleasing way. I want to know that in the end, He is proud of me. We are strong because He gives us his strength. We are powerful because He gives us His power. We are mighty because he gives us his Might. We are warriors for the faith because He is the general over the legion of Angels. We are nothing without Christ, and we find our worth because he values us. Let us humble ourselves and rid ourselves of the sinful Pride. Let us know that power but be full of meekness. Let us never stop the good fight, so one day we can say, I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race.