Tag: christ

Persevering with Perseverance 

thearrowpreacher3 Comments

Persevering with perseverance 

In recent weeks, or months, I have felt that I have failed in life. With the changes in my health, which put me in the hospital for a couple weeks, the fundamental breakdowns within important relationships in my life, and the lackluster direction of my eldest half-sibling relationship. I have felt heart broken, betrayed, sad, lost, and angry, plus perhaps a few more emotions I haven’t discussed yet with myself. The flood of emotions that comes with open-heart surgery are many and extensive. I’ve been trying to face and manage all that’s happened but truthfully, while in some areas I’ve excelled, in others I’ve failed a bit. I’ve asked recently how so much has gone so wrong. I’ve asked God how much He thinks I can handle. I know many say “God will never give you more than you can handle”, but in reality, that’s not at all what the scripture says. That scripture in 1 Corinthians 10:13 says this “13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.” Our way out is putting our trust and faith in Jesus. We find comfort in Jesus and he see’s us through the storm. It’s the truth, when i say I’ve been under constant attack by the enemy. Satan, has been putting in a great deal of hours making my life miserable these last several months. The truth is, God will allow us to go through all the world throws at us, because we are to rely on His strength, not our own. We are to turn to God and follow “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

— Matthew 11:28-30. We fight daily, and go from one battle to the next. Our faith tells us that we have been given a spirit of courage, and not of fear, and if we are to be soldiers, we must learn to hone that courage, and face our fears. We must face them till we have control over it. When I was in the military we go through extensive desensitization training, so when we actually get shot at, or blown up, our flight-fight response honed, and not easily triggered. We trained, and we trained, and we prepared knowing the fight was going to come. As Christians, we know that the fight is going to come, because the Lord told us as much, but we rarely prepare for anything. 

Preparing for the fight, and actively learning, and growing in the Lord is as important as breathing. If we are to live, and live well, we must learn to fight well, and be prepared for anything that may come our way. When we consider the nature of our enemy, we must consider the supernatural aspect of it. The Angels do not need to sleep, and because they don’t, Satan doesn’t. As a fallen angel, Satan and his demons never sleep. We mere mortals, have lives, our attention divided in many directions. Satans army of demons have but one goal, destroy our lives, and cause as much problems as they can. With an enemy like that, how can we afford not to prepare our hearts and minds for the inevitable attacks that come? When we fail to build ourselves up, we face the dangers of the war going on all around us evermore. Complacency kills not only our own spirit, but can and does destroy our families, and other relationships. 

FIGHTING BACK

It’s always important to know how to study, so here are some basic tips needed to know for preparing your minds for battle. 

First: Picking the right bible. It’s important to know that not all bibles are the same. Some are a more faithful word for word translation, while others attempt to portray the thought and meaning behind the scripture. I for one, have gone through a process when it comes to scripture. I started off with two primary translations, the ESV or English Standard Version, the NKJV, which is the New King James Version, and now, while I sometimes still use the other two, the NASB95 is my go-to translation. It is generally thought that the NASB95 is the closest word for word bible we have. This of course does not include the newly printed Legacy bible. When you chose your bible, just because it’s ‘easier’ to read, doesn’t mean is the better bible. Words matter, and I always recommend having a tool to allow you the ability to see the original wording as part of your bible study. 

Second: Study bible, and study tools. I would recommend a study bible so you can read a short commentary verse by verse about what a studied individual has to say about a verse. This also comes with a caveat. Not all study bible commentaries are considered reputable. I would recommend someone like John MacArthur, RC. Sproul, JC Ryle, and such for commentaries. One of my favorite study bibles is the ESV Reformation Study Bible by RC. It’s massive, with a ton of extra information. 

Third: A daily devotional. While this doesn’t ever replace study, I do believe it gives us bits of God’s message. I personally have several devotionals; my favorite is the Hobbit Devotional. Not all devotionals are written by those who are reputable either. Be careful who you listen to on social media, YouTube, and in writing. Not all those who claim the name of Christ are of Christ. 

Lastly: Personal Study. This does not mean you just read scripture, but that you study the verse. Find the deeper connections, dig for gold verse by verse. Look up the original language to ensure the English words are truly the meaning we find in scripture. Cross reference verses. Learn how the bible fits together. Dig deep and train your mind to see God’s word inside your heart. We must bury scripture deep into our hearts, so it begins to sprout with deep roots, and the tree of God is evident in the fruit we produce. How do we handle and manage situations? Can Christ be seen in our actions? We must study to allow the tree to grow inside us. To fight back against the schemes of the Devil. We must learn and grow so me can properly live Christlike before the world, but most importantly, before our families. 

Hardships come to all who live in this world. This is an incontrovertible fact, one we must come to expect, and not shy or hide away from. Knowing these hardships will come, why then do we not prepare for them? Do we not board up windows and fill sandbags when storms like hurricanes come? Do we not seek shelter when the tornado sirens blare in the night? Do we not batten down the hatch when the winds billow? Why then do we not prepare for the fight we know is coming? We as Christians are lazy. We have a pseudointellectual understanding of the bible, but it’s barely even a surface level understanding because we take verses out of context, or cant decipher a scripture verse, verses a movie quote. Let me give you an example. How many wise men were there at the manger with Jesus when he was born? If you said three you were wrong. First, it’s likely there were many, many more than three. Second, they were not there the night our savior was born. Instead when we read scripture, we see he was likely closer to two years old when they found him. We now this because when we read scripture, we see it’s both separated, and the time gap can be seen when Harod doesn’t murder just the babies, but the infants as old as two years old. Because we often see in culture these misconceptions, we in essence believe these things, and it hurts the name of Christ. 

Scripture tells us we will have trials, we will have tribulations, we will face hardships, and heartbreaks, and if we don’t know how to manage life’s difficulties, it will destroy us. It’s interesting that if you take a child and that child goes through hardships, that warm, loving child will often change. We lose something as we get older, but while scripture tells us we need to mature, we are also called to have the wonderment, the faith of a child. We let life get the better of us, so much so, we hold on to unforgiveness, we become hard, we become jaded. I look back at myself, and often wonder what went wrong? Where did things change for me? How did I go from an optimistic, fun loving, positive kid, to what I am today? It’s almost as if life stole something from me, and I never got it back. 

The truth is, no one gets out of this world without scars. Our scars can define us. If we chose to, the scars can be a negative reminder, keeping us in our pain, and suffering. Or, the scars can be seen as a battle in which we emerged victorious. I had open heart surgery recently, and I have many scars now. I have constant pain and struggle from things that have happened after surgery. How should I go about handling it? Should I face my every day with a poor attitude, be angry at the world? Or, should I look to these challenges, and be grateful for the miracles I experienced which kept me alive? While our minds are preset to look at life in a negative way, we have the power to change the programming, and face life with a different set of eyes. We may not be able to change or have control over the events that happen to us, but we do have the ability to change how we act and respond to these events. What kind of person do you want to be? What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind? Recently I was asking some question about my deceased father. I’ve gotten a mixed bag of feedback. The things I heard in some ways made me very sad. In some ways, I now wonder if I was better off not knowing all these years. Was I protected by God by being separated my whole life? I don’t know. What I do know is this, we will make mistakes, and we will do stupid things, but it’s our jobs as Christians to do our best to mitigate those mistakes. It’s our job to try and look like Christ in everything we do. Every interaction we have, both good and bad, how do we respond? The more scripture is buried into your heart, we respond better. We can chose to live our lives in despair, or we can persevere, push through the pain, and suffering, and see the light of God the Father in our lives. Focus on the positive things God is doing. Focus on how God is blessing you, and taking away only that which makes you stronger. Take away what you need in the traumas you face, and leave the rest behind. Don’t live in your review mirror, but look forward instead. Glance behind once in a while, but only to see what you’ve overcome, what God has brought you through. But, then, focus on today, right in front of you, then look out to the horizon as you look forward to tomorrow. Never quit, never surrender, and always seek God’s wisdom, and truth, and be grace, and mercy, forgiveness, but most importantly, don’t forget to be love. This is how you persevere in life. This is how you excel in the trials of this world. You seek first the kingdom of God, and in all you do, do for the glory of the Lord. 

For more follow on YouTube (The Arrow Preacher) 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV3r024gS2FRDIbpqnsDwWA

And for other Christian Content 

Jessica’s Blog 

https://peacenotfear.wordpress.com/

Heartbreak and Sadness? 

thearrowpreacher6 Comments

Heartbreak and Sadness? 

With recent events affecting my recovery, I have been inundated with emotions. We think I may have something called Diaphragmatic stimulation. This could be caused by one of the leads for my pacemaker. It not only causes spasms of the diaphragm, but breathing issues, and the spams cause pain in my ribs. It’s quite painful. On top of that, after a 15 hour stay in the emergency department, three days later, and I am sick. Coincidence? I think not. Now, I can add coughing to the list of things causing me distress. However, while this is part of the emotions I’m feeling at the moment, there is something else, siblings. I have recently found one of the two of my siblings, and have attempted to open a dialog with them. Not everyone communicates as I do, and I often have unrealistic expectations of people. This, has led me to having feelings, that I really cannot verify as realistic, or based on facts. During DBT one of the things that kept with me was the ‘Check the Facts’ sheet. We had to match our feelings to facts. And if they were facts, do the level of feelings, match the situation. While, in part the feelings I have right now are legit, the question is what is the cause? Obviously, the cause of my feelings is the lack of reciprocal conversation, but realistically, what is causing the lack of reciprocal conversation? That’s the point where my investigation ends. In my mind, I have been distressed that this is being caused because they don’t care. They want nothing to do with me. Why hasn’t my sister reached out? Does she not want to talk? Why doesn’t she want to talk? Things aren’t always as they appear to be. 

One of the things I have struggled with in my life is trusting in God’s timing. When I was younger, I struggled with relationships. I was kind of the ugly duckling, except I stayed the ugly duckling. In middle school while people where pairing off and I developed my first crush, she was the beauty of the school. I fell ‘in love’ with her. It was a crush, a heavy heartfelt crush, but still a crush. She however wanted nothing to do with me. How could anyone care for someone who looked like me. I was a nerd also, I was never going to find anyone. Then, when I did, it took me moving to a new school, three hours away. There, my relationship life flourished. I did date, and I did fall in love, the real kind of love where it was reciprocated. But, there were times when I didn’t wait for God, and I made my own choices, which eventually led to destruction, and despair. I once again experienced these feelings in Korea, when I couldn’t hardly get a woman to talk to me, let alone go on a date. I felt discouraged. Eventually things would turn around, but as one relationship ended after another, me being the one getting dumped, I had a realization… I was the common denominator. I would rush to get married to a woman who was in reality, broken. We had a great relationship for a little while, till we moved to Germany. Then slowly but surely that relationship turned sour, and she’d have an affair. Then a few years later I’d get married again, and that one lasted seven years, before, she’d have an affair also. The second one I held on to for a long time. I wasn’t going to go through divorce again. I was left a broken man, so much so, it put me in the hospital. I was impatient, and it showed in the types of relationships I got into. I have often had a problem where I don’t wait for God to give me the green light on something, or I want God to move faster. 

Psalm 13:1 How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?

How long will You hide Your face from me?

I have used this verse a few times in recent weeks to highlight the normal reaction to call out to God, but specifically, the ‘how long’.  We often want God to move today. Israel waiting 400 years before God broke the silence. Could you imagine going 400 years without hearing from God? We often don’t want to wait a few weeks, or even a couple years, but 400? While I’ve been waiting for my brother to reach out, and I’ve been littered with thoughts, I can only guess, that Satan is the one whispering in my ears. The helmet while it may protect my mind from many things, the Devil is cunning. The truth is, I don’t know much about my brother, and I cannot say if he’s willfully ignoring me, or if it’s something else. The Devil would have me believe he’s ignoring me, but is that because in time, I may be able to share God’s word with him? Or, in reality, the Devil is my enemy, and I fight with him on a daily basis. I don’t know who wrote it, some have claimed C.S. Lewis, but regardless this quote has stuck with me, “My prayer is that when I die, all of hell rejoices that I am out of the fight.” Obviously there is some theological questions here, such as does hell rejoice, but the point of the quote to me, is that when I die the demons and Satan will be glad I am no longer here on this battlefield. I need to take a moment to pray though, and not come to snap conclusions in which I have no evidence to support it. 

We cannot always know what God’s plan is, or how something fits into the grand scheme of things. We cannot know what someone is thinking all the time, especially when you don’t know them. You don’t know what someone is going through, unless they’ve told you. There’s a common phrase going around, ‘everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” Many people fight, and keep it to themselves. It’s important to not see yourself on an island. If you put yourself on an island, you are essentially putting yourself in your own version of purgatory. In 2017 I wrote this, and oddly enough, it’s just as valid today, as it was them. 

Lian Yu (Purgatory)

We must not get stuck in our feelings, and one thing I have noticed about myself recently, is that I am using compartmentalization again in my life. Thankfully, this time around, I know that my trauma, or hardships cannot stay in that box for long. It’s important that we seek God and trust in His power and sovereignty to see us through hardships. Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,

And He will make your paths straight.” This isn’t an easy thing, and takes a lot of effort and practice, but I assure you, the more you dive into scripture, and the more you get closer to God, the easier troubled waters become to navigate. We must take time and just like practicing a sport, we must put effort into growing closer to God. IF we do not seek Him, then how do we get to know Him? If we do not study and grow within His Holy Bible, then how do we know what’s right or wrong for our lives? We must not make assumptions about God, just as we must not make assumptions about people. Grow in the Lord and bury His word to the roots of your heart, so it would spring forth a beautiful tree of God’s attributes. Let your faith produce good works, and let your love in God produce beautiful faith. Go in peace, and in love, and face those demons with the Lords word as your shield, and as your two edged sword, cutting deep like a scalpel. Let the Lords will be done in your life, seek patience in your ways, your path, and your thoughts. Be calm and give the benefit of the doubt where you can. 


For more Christian content follow me on YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@thearrowpreacher6920?si=wvVC80iHWsSSkRY1

Follow My Friend

Jessica’s Blog 

https://peacenotfear.wordpress.com/

New Battle Grounds 

thearrowpreacher2 Comments

New Battle Grounds 

Sometimes in our life, things happen that move us from one place to another. In ancient days, Jesus, was moved for His safety from Nazareth, to Egypt. Today, in my life, I moved from one place, rural, to the urban city. Personally, I’m not a city boy, so living in the city, is always a challenge for me. Moving into the city has stressed and challenged my personal life like little has in a long time. Not only has my life turned upside down, heart surgery, moving, now, I have new relationships, which challenge my emotions. My battle zone has changed, and now, I find myself learning to fight in a far distant land. 

The Apostles, after the day of Pentecost, began to spread themselves to share the gospel. They left the comfort of their homes, and found themselves in hostile territory. Missionaries of today are the most like the Apostles of old. Even though we don’t always pick up our stuff and carry on wherever we need to go for God, we are called wherever we go, to share the gospel. The life of those who are followers of Christ, will find themselves in battles, and those battles will vary in difficulty. Recently the battles I’ve faced have been different than anything I’ve faced in the past. All the experience of the past however, the good and the bad, have prepared me for such battles. 

How can we know we are ready for the battles to come? The answer is fairly simple, but difficult to master. We must study. We must spend time in the word of God, and in that word, we must understand the message being delivered to us. Reading scripture is fine, but if we don’t take the time to truly dive in, seek the meaning behind the words, the language, and the people it was written to, we often miss the nuances of scripture. How scripture builds upon what was written, how the past points to the future, and the future points backwards to the past, and the sheer number of seamless cross references shows us the impossibility that scripture was simply man-made. Knowing and growing in the word of God, allowing those words to seep into our hearts, and most importantly, not letting the words get stuck in our minds, but rather, allowing the words to penetrate into our hearts, and changing who we are. If we read scripture and it doesn’t change us, we are essentially no different than the demons of the enemy’s army. The demons know scripture, and we cannot just know it, but we must live it. 

I have found my patience being tested and having major revelations coming to my attention, I am dealing with a major change, a change in the dynamic of my family. How does one deal with discovering truth, which is opposed to the truth of an entire life? When new truths become evident, and one is left to deal with the emotions of it, and we have to face those truths, it can be a challenge. I have found it difficult to put into words the emotions I have felt. How am I supposed to feel? What are the normal feelings for this kind of situation? I have been seeking God for answers and asking for prayers to find the answers I seek. My world has changed, forever changed, and a title I have had my whole life, something I felt was part of my identity, is no longer true, and now I must face the truth, learn about my new family, and discover a new dynamic. God does nothing by mistake, and it is my responsibility to wear the name of Christ, to be the ambassador, marching into this situation, wearing the full Armor of God, and above all standing against the prince of the air, the ruler of this world. Even though I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, I must endure, I must try my hardest to be the example, and point those whom I encounter to a very real Christ. Jesus is not just a story in some ancient book, but the son of God who rose from the dead, overcame death, and with that same resurrection power, those who believe in him, obey him, seek him, acknowledge their own sinful nature, turn from that sin, and see Christ as the only way to the father, the forgiver of sins, the blood spilt for us, so it would bridge the chasm between us and Heaven. We must believe and spend our days serving the King of Kings, and the Lord of Lords. No matter the storm I find myself in, Jesus is the captain of my ship, and I shall always keep Him at the helm, and I will go where He takes me. I will fight the good fight, and continue to hold the line. I may be in the storm by Jesus my Lord is with me. I may be in the fire, but Jesus my King is with me. I will never face my trials alone, for my Savior is with me. Forever, till the end of the age. 

As my battlefield has changed recently, the battle remains the same. As a Christian, we fight against power well beyond our weight category. Ephesians 6:12, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.” When we consider any sport that involves fighting, we should look at the weight class, and on our own, we are outclassed every time. We cannot stand against demons who are bred, created for war and service. We don’t have all the information on angels and demons, simply because God didn’t give us that much information. We know that there are angels, like Michael that can fight. An angel can stand toe to toe with a demon because a demon is a corrupted angel. We are a human, what chance do we have? We have the armor of God. The armor gives us the protection we need against demons. Another thing we have on our side, is the word of God. In fact, I would suggest, the word of God is the most effective thing we have. Demons tremble at the voice of Christ, and while we don’t have His voice, we have his words. When we are in scripture, and we are seeking God, we learn about our armor, we learn about how to protect our minds, our hearts, and learn how to walk with Christ using the sandals of the gospel of peace. We hone our armor, and our skills, by reading and growing in scripture. 

As my battlefield has changed, and I’m having surprises come into my life I could have never expected, it’s tested my emotions. I have found myself questioning myself, wondering if my continued rocky path, isn’t of my own making. I have questioned if I was worth anything, and if I was worth saving. In reality, this is spiritual warfare, but nevertheless, it’s the emotions and feelings I’ve been having. I’ve experienced major changes in my life over the last 3 months, and those changes often play with your emotions. Very little of what I’ve wanted to do has worked out the way it was supposed to. Even the simple things, that were given thought, haven’t worked out. Changes to my family have left me facing some long past hurts. Changes to my living space, has left me frustrated, and trying to find peace. Peace in my years, is all I’ve been seeking. While I realize I would have no peace in this world as long as I was a soldier for Christ, I long for peace in my home. The psalm of David rings in my ears, 

Psalm 13 How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever?

How long will You hide Your face from me?

2 How long shall I take counsel in my soul,

Having sorrow in my heart all the day?

How long will my enemy be exalted over me?

3 Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;

Enlighten my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death,

4 And my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”

And my adversaries will rejoice when I am shaken.

5 But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness;

My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.

6 I will sing to the Lord,

Because He has dealt bountifully with me.

I ask the same question today. My enemy is not a man, or men, but rather the demons that seek to destroy me, and who I am. How long oh Lord, how long? With my physical pain keeping me from doing basic things, to the family, to the living space, I am met with much in the way of fodder for the devil to use. There are many areas right now under construction for him, the father of lies to use against me. The battle is being waged, and my prayers mirror the prayers of David. I will fight, and continue to fight the good fight. I will continue to serve, and be of service. I am the Lords, and I will do what I must to keep moving forward, relying not upon my own strength, but the strength of God within me. I do not fight the demons alone, for God is on my side. I know, either in this life or the next, Jesus is victorious. 

Today, March 4th, 2025, I remember my fallen brothers. 20 years today, they fell in battle. While on mission in Ar-Ramadi, the explosion ripped through the truck, almost everyone was dead in an instant. One survived, but would die of his injuries shortly after. 20 years, has gone in the blink of an eye. We survive on, keeping their memory alive. Our battlefield has changed, but we still fight. Each of us fight in our own way now, 20 years and some of us are still close. It’s hard to believe it’s been 20 years, but here we are. This time 20 years ago, I was reeling from the explosion, and the horrific aftermath. The things I would see that day would haunt my eyes, and mind to this very day. You can take the man away from the battle, but the battle will always live inside the man. The battle continues, but let us remember the fallen today. Let us remember their lives, and their sacrifice. 

For More Content Follow On

YouTube

https://youtube.com/@thearrowpreacher6920?si=wvVC80iHWsSSkRY1

Follow my friend:

https://peacenotfear.wordpress.com/

The Man Who Cries

thearrowpreacher1 Comment

The Man Who Cries

Years ago, if you were to ask me, ‘when was the last time you cried?’ I wouldn’t have been able to tell you. If you were to ask me today in my life, I could tell you, it was just the other day. I’m sure many of you have seen those last day since incident signs in a workplace, for me, I rarely get beyond a week. After my GSW in 2016, I began multiple therapies. Over the last 8 years, I have done one or two therapies a year, both from the VA and WWP (Wounded Warrior Project). Even though the therapies today are not required, I have chosen to continue to grow, and add tools to my toolbox. Some of these tools are effective communication, emotion regulation, a wholistic approach to self-care, interpersonal relationships, biblical relationships, and more. One side effect however is, some of my emotions stay pretty close to the surface. For years I felt like I was walking along a desert road with no water, no shelter, and no help in sight. I felt like a broken man, in a broken land, and behind me the shadow crept nipping at my heels, waiting for the right time to strike. When it caught up to me in 2016, I was nearly destroyed. In an instant thought, I experienced a miracle, and I was forgiven. I was no longer a man constrained by my fear, my doubts, or my trauma. I’d begin to learn from new eyes, how to heal. Now, I live, with the power of the cross behind me, in front of me, and side by side with me. Jesus saved my soul, and began to put the pieces of my broken heart back together. Since then, I’ve experienced a slew of more miracles, which have unlocked a new character trait. I now cry pretty easily. My tears are not always tears of sadness, but also of joy, or empathy. 

Romans 12:15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” 

Here the Apostle Paul is teaching us how to be Christians with other Christians and the world around us. How do we serve a mighty God? We each have gifts and those gifts are used differently for the Lord. We are told to learn our gifts and use them. We are told much in Chapter 12. 

12 Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and [e]acceptable and perfect.

3 For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith. 4 For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, 5 so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. 6 Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly: if prophecy, according to the proportion of his faith; 7 if service, in his serving; or he who teaches, in his teaching; 8 or he who exhorts, in his exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.

9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; 11 not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; 12 rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, 13 contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. 16 Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. 17 Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. 19 Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 “But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

We see how to use our gifts, we are told to persevere, to rejoice in the hope of Christ, to not be wise of our own estimation, how to treat our enemies, and more. I have learned much in my 8 years, and have a long way to go. If I’m honest, these last few months have been some of the most challenging of my life. In reality, the song ‘Hard Fought Hallelujah’, truly feels like my theme song right now. There’s a line, “there’s days when a praise come out easy, there’s days it takes all the strength I got.” The heart, a little object inside the body, that keeps us alive. The heart of the mind however, when it’s broken, boy does that affect so much of our life. A broken heart can do so much damage to our lives. In May of 2024 I wrote a post called “The Best Captain”, and it in I wrote a line “Sometimes I can hear the darkness beckon to me, it tells me all is lost.” The darkness gripped me that day in 2016, and I was smashed by the tidal wave. Today, the hardship, the heartbreak is different, but strong. 

“The storm is raging on, the lighting cracks in the sky, and I can barely hear Captain’s orders. The darkness surrounds the ship, as she creaks and groans in the treacherous waves. Fear of the ship running aground, or breaking up, or worse, I get tossed over, leaves me trembling with worry. The waves crash over the rail, and I take the full force of the wall of water. I’m wet, and cold, fear grips me, and I fall to my knees and begin to cry. Just as I do a hand touches my shoulder. “‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your CAPTAIN. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’” Cap knows just what to say when I need it.” (The Best Captain)

The Best Captain 

I know that Jesus has never left my side. I know that the demons flee before Him, quiver at the sound of His voice. I know that in this life we have trouble, and I know that it’s okay to cry. I know that what I’ve endure is not an easy thing, and not just the surgery, but other things added to it, have given just cause to cry. In my life today, I often ask questions, even from secular songs, how could this apply to me? LeAnn Rimes performed a song ‘How Do I Live’  and in that song: 

How do I

Get through one night with you

If I had to live without you

What kind of life would that be

Indeed, how do I live without Jesus? How could I get through one night with Him the King of the universe? If I had to live without Jesus by my side, what kind of life would that be? I would be nowhere without my Lord and Savior. I would be lost to travel this life on a rotten tub of a ship in the rough seas, where I’d likely sink and join Davy Jones Locker. Without Christ to save us, we are dead men. We are dead in our sins, with no hope. Without Christ we are still plugged into the Matrix. We are still blind. 

I’ve found that in my walk with Christ I have become more sensitive to the emotions of righteousness. I have found that I feel more deeply, but also hurt more deeply when I see injustice. I find that I no longer hide the feelings within, but wear them on my sleeve. Now, don’t misunderstand, if I need to, I am well adept to hide my emotions, if needed. I wonder, in my life, what Jesus would say or do if He witnessed what I have. How would it make Him feel. I have tried to have empathy, understanding, but always stand upon the truth. I’ve often found myself connecting with Captain America’s character, the hero boy scout. I abhor bullies, and injustice. It makes me both angry and broken at the same time. I feel God has given me the mission to stand up with my voice and speak out against injustice. I have spoken about the human trafficking. I have spoken against the mutilation of boys and girls happening in our world. I have spoken out against racism. I have spoken out against the evils of socialism and communism. I have spoken out against the attack on God’s people in the persecuted church. I have spoken out about the evil of killing our unborn children. I have recently felt I need to talk about spousal violence in our society, and will likely do a podcast for this subject. I indeed, feel deeply about these types of injustices, and will continue to speak out. Even though my own life is full of heartbreak, this does not mean the world stops. It doesn’t mean I don’t continue to do the work, even if it means I must drop to my knees, and cry to my Lord, to save my nation. I pray for a great awakening in my land, that we turn from our wicked ways, and seek God. I pray for the stay of the Lord’s judgment, even though I believe we are in His judgment now. Sometimes the Lord’s judgment doesn’t come as a sword, but the turning of His back. I pray we as Christians continue to seek the Lord, and continue to grow in His Word. I pray we treat one another better. I pray we do not take the Lord righteous name in vain, as we wear His holy name and yet we do awful things. These things bring tears to my eyes. My hardships bring tears to my eyes, as the stress on my shoulders is mighty. I have felt like the Greek God Atlas recently, the world on my shoulders. I have been praying the Lord lighten my burden, and I know He will when the time is right. I pray for His help to hold up the burden upon my shoulders. The King, the mighty Lord Jesus, is greatest of all. 

Jesus changed my life, and changed me. Jesus brought me to life, taking my life and giving me new purpose, He has never left my side. Jesus showed me a better way, His way, of living life. Jesus has given me His grace and mercy, and all I can do is try my best to live my life in a way that is pleasing to Him. I cannot live in fear, and even though my tears may fall, I have hope that in the end of this journey, the moment I step into glory, I shall have no more tears. I will have no more scars. I shall no more hurt. I will finally be able to rest. I long for that day, I long to be in the presence of my Lord, and finally, meet Him face to face, though I will never be worthy of it. I will never be able to work enough, or do enough, to be worthy of it, but the Lord’s blood washed me clean, and He promised to never leave me, so I’m never alone. I do not cry alone, but the Lord cries with me. Now, and till the day I reach the shores of the far distant land I journey too. 

For More Follow At YouTube

https://youtube.com/@thearrowpreacher6920?si=wvVC80iHWsSSkRY1

Follow my friend’s Christian Blog at:

https://peacenotfear.wordpress.com/

The Greatest Valentines Gift 

thearrowpreacher2 Comments

The Greatest Valentines Gift 

April 3, AD 33, is the date we now have come to believe Jesus of Nazareth was murdered on the Cross. I would submit to you, that while we do celebrate Easter, I would say the willing sacrifice of Jesus is the great act of love the world has ever seen. How much God loves us, that shows us not only how to love, but what love is. So, lets break that down, and ask the question, what is love? 

Love Is: 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 

4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

In today’s world, the moment things get hard, people are leaving their spouses, or when things get hard, they themselves are acting poorly. We do not show compassion, we do not show patience, and sadly, much that I hate to say this, we don’t control our own actions. How far we have fallen, when the name of Christ is worn by so many, yet act so poorly. Thankfully, Christ is our example, not other professed Christians. So, let us dive in to what LOVE actually is. 

As I usually like the NASB95, this is one time, I don’t love it. Pun intended. Love, or charity, is patient. One other translation uses the phrase long suffering instead of patient. I prefer this. Why do I prefer this? We don’t often have a good understanding of patience. We as Americans generally think five minutes for our McDonalds order is too long. We think two-day shipping on Amazon is too long. We think a few days waiting for our partner to do the “right” thing, is too long. We don’t have an understanding that the term here for patient in the Greek is, makrothumeō. This means to be long-tempered. Passively, long-suffering. We are certainly not long-suffering in our patience are we? 

When love is each of these things, long-suffering, kind, it does not give way to jealousy, it does not brag, or become arrogant, it does not ACT UNBECOMINGLY. Let us stop at that one. Just what’s public news, a Christian official in my town did a lot of stupid things and there’s plenty of evidence to prove it. We as Christians have not been looking like Christians, we do not act like Christians, we do not behave like Christians, we do not love like Christians. This shows that we are merely Christian by name and not within our heart. The wearing of the name Christian comes with much more weight than people realize. Thou shalt not take the Lord name in vain. When you wear the name of Christ, and then do stupid, you are taking the Lords name in vain. When you do these things and people say, ‘didn’t that person go to this church?’ We are hurting God, hurting the name of Christian, and hurting ourselves and those around us. What kind of love are we showing when we cannot control our own actions? Love is not about it’s own interests, but rather what we can do to show love to others. In a marriage, we should never say, ‘if they do this, than I will respond in kind.’ Love is an action word, love is doing something for others. It’s not easily provoked, keep score of wrongs suffered. It doesn’t rejoice when someone falls or fails. It always rejoices when the truth is being spoken, not to be prideful in ourselves. How many refuses to acknowledge when their partner is right standing in the truth? We hold on to that pride. Love bares the burdens and endures through hardships. It doesn’t leave at the sign of trouble. 

Jesus, knowing He was about to die, and knowing what He was about to endure, the pain that would be inflicted about Him as an innocent man, a sinless man, said in John 10:18 18 No one has taken it away from Me, but I lay it down on My own initiative. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This commandment I received from My Father.” What a beautiful gift God gives to us. God gives us a gift we don’t deserve. He loved us so much, that we are God’s valentine. God loved the world so much He gave us His son, so we would be reconciled to Him. That we in our sin, would be bought and paid for, the ransom for our souls would be fulfilled. God gives us His son, Jesus, who willingly came to the cross, because no one else could do it. No one’s blood was so pure, so precious, that in fact, it would never be without blemish. In order to restore the chasm between God and man created at the fall, a spotless lamb without blemish would have to shed its blood. No person would have ever been spotless. Yet, Jesus in His love for us, came to earth, lived a sinless life, left the purity and perfection of Heaven, to live in a dismal, dirty, sinful world, full of evil, and hatred, and selfishness, bitterness and disease. Jesus knowing what was going to happen that day on Cavalry, in his foreknowledge sweat blood from the shear stress of it. Yet, at no point did He not continue to travel down the road planned before the foundations of the Earth. An act of Love by the Son of Man. 

Jesus said in scripture, John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” Indeed, how great a love, then Jesus laying down His life for the chosen sheep. How blessed am I to be a part of His flock, and my hope is that you also are a member of His flock. On this Valentine’s Day, which in reality celebrates the workings of a man, I submit to you, let us remember the workings of a sinless man today. Let us remember the love of our savior Jesus Christ who laid down His life for us, so He could take it up again defeating the grave, showing power over death, giving us everlasting hope. Saint Valentine did great things, and I have no problem remembering those great deeds, but the greatest act of love didn’t come from a sinner like you and me, it came from our Lord of Lords. Let us remember Jesus on this day of love, and with His love as our example, let us go out and love others, and share with them the greatest act of love, the death and resurrection of our savior, Jesus Christ. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, may God bless you this day. 

For More Content Follow My Podcast At

https://youtube.com/@thearrowpreacher6920?si=wvVC80iHWsSSkRY1

And please follow my friend at

https://peacenotfear.wordpress.com/

Fear

thearrowpreacher1 Comment

Fear is not something I’ve experienced much of in my later life. Today, I am afraid. As my life is about to change forever, fear fills my heart. It isn’t that I don’t have faith, or not enough faith, as a friends message pointed out so eloquently recently, but I am mostly human. That’s a cyborg joke since I now have a mechanical upgrade keeping my heart pacing. I have faced death and been shot at, blown up, jumped out of airplanes, and have moved across the world many times. My life, has not been an easy road, but my life longs for peace, and I’ve not had it since heart surgery. It’s amazing how much heart surgery forces us to face our mortality. It’s amazing to think that just a couple months ago, I nearly died. Our hearts are so tender at a funeral. The emotions right at the surface, like a live wire to be plucked by life. In a way, while no one has died recently in my life, death is not just the living body. I have in other ways, experienced loss, and grief. My dearly beloved cat has passed. My body has experienced a grave trauma. I am about to move to a new home after eight years. I feel as if I am not going to find peace any time soon in my life. In fact, simultaneously peace and not peace. While life is beyond stressful, and my plate is full, life is not of peace, but my heart knows the Lord. The Lord grants peace, we know this from scripture. We aren’t robots, or at least I’m not all robot. 

Paul is offering the Lords peace be upon the readers of his letter. 

Now may the Lord of peace Himself continually grant you peace in every circumstance. The Lord be with you all!

— 2 Thessalonians 3:16

John notes the words of Jesus. 

Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.

— John 14:27

Our peace is found in the Lord. We face the worlds struggles, and while we do these things as faithful Christians, we know many faithful struggled. 

But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree; and he requested for himself that he might die, and said, “It is enough; now, O LORD, take my life, for I am not better than my fathers.”

— 1 Kings 19:4

Elijah suffered long, David suffered, Peter suffered, and many, many more. The Christ’s church cannot be stopped by the gates of Hell. More important than any others, Jesus suffered for us. 

After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.

— 1 Peter 5:10

What is life but a vapor? A short while we are here, and in this life, Jesus promised hard times, but also promised that in those times, we would not be tempted more than any other person, 

No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

— 1 Corinthians 10:13

Jesus is our way, Jesus is the way. Jesus shows us the escape. When we are suffering, and when we are struggling, Jesus is our God, who saves us, who removes our ledge of crimson, and makes it white as snow. May we repent of our sins, and Jesus makes straight our path. No one said the path would be easy, but we must ask if we are doing as He commands us. I am but a mere human, struggling to walk the path. I read, I study, I listen, and yet lo, I struggle.

For the choir director. A Psalm of David.

How long, O LORD? Will You forget me forever?

How long will You hide Your face from me?

How long shall I take counsel in my soul,

Having sorrow in my heart all the day?

How long will my enemy be exalted over me?

Consider and answer me, O LORD my God;

Enlighten my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death,

— Psalm 13:1-3

Jesus comforts us and is near to the broken hearted. Am I broken hearted? Yes. Do I struggle? Yes. My brokenness runs deep right now. In my prayers I ask God to grant me His peace. I ask God grants me serenity to let go of what I need to let go of, fix what i can fix, and in all ways accept God’s path, that I will not lean upon my own understanding. My heart breaks apart this day, but one day, it shall be made new and I shall see God. 

Having fear is human. When the Word says I have not given you a spirit of fear, but a spirit of courage, we really have to continue to grow. Sanctification is a process. We have to spend time in the word to grow in the spirit of Christ. I have spent years dealing with this topic. When I was in Iraq I was forced to face fear. After you face evil directly, fear is something that starts to fade. When I began growing in the Lord, my fear of death disappeared. When I consider fear, I consider that most if not all fears generally when you travel down the road of that fear, it ends with a fear of one’s own mortality. Once you can eliminate your fear of dying, many other fears will disappear. That being said, there are some fears, such as the fear of failure, fear of change, that must also be concurred. As I am faced with some of these fears, I am not accustomed to feeling fear. When I was facing heart surgery, I did not have a fear of dying, but rather, more concerned about what the surgery would do to my loved ones. While I do not have the same fear that many people do, my loved ones have a great fear of dying, and a fear of losing me. It’s this fear, that I have been cognoscente of. How can I, the man of the house, lift up those who remain in their fear? When I am afraid of the upcoming change in my life, that I will fail, and fall into hard times? I don’t have an answer, except to continue to grow in your walk with Christ. We must face our fears, and we do that by reading the Word of God. We study, we grow, we allow the word to change who we are. We must be ready to defend our faith, and we cannot do that if we are not growing in Christ. For some, maybe you haven’t accepted Christ yet. First, acknowledge you are a sinner. We are dead in our sins, not worthy of Heaven. We must see ourselves as sinners, and know that Jesus is the savior for our sins. He handed himself over, and laid down his life to reconcile the repentant sinner to God the Father. We must surrender to Christ, and know He is both Savior, and Lord. We must accept Him as our sacrifice for sins, and therefore, we must trust in faith, and obey His commandments. There is no sin so great that God cannot forgive. We do however need to feel that sorrow over sin, and truly repent of our sins. Jesus is worth your heart. Let us continue to grow in Him. 

May God grant me peace, and understanding, and love. God shows me His way. I pray for mercies as I navigate these troubled waters. May I step out of the boat, and trust in Him.

For more follow on YouTube

https://youtube.com/@thearrowpreacher6920?si=wvVC80iHWsSSkRY1

Please follow also, my friend’s blog.

https://peacenotfear.wordpress.com

Faith

thearrowpreacher2 Comments

Faith

I’ve talked about faith a lot on this website. Faith is something we each have, even if we don’t realize it. Those who talk against the Christian walk, in support of the sciences have faith. Those who claim to be atheists have faith. Those who claim to be agnostic have faith. Faith is the believing in something without all the proof. Merriam Webster says this “belief and trust in and loyalty to God”, “firm belief in something for which there is no proof”, “Complete Trust”, 
 “something that is believed especially with strong conviction”. You see, faith, is had by everyone, it’s simply a matter of defining what they believe. 

Many believe a Christians faith is misplaced, or it’s based on poor evidence. Sadly, this assertion is simply far from the truth. It’s been said that the faith needed for the big bang, or evolution is far greater than that of the Christian walk. There is less evidence for those things, than there is of the Christian faith. Even the other religions pale in comparison to evidence, and some have little to no evidence at all. I will not be getting into each of these things and why they lack evidence, but I encourage you to do some deep dives. For Christians, there are a few people who’ve done extraordinary work on this and I will be talking about some of them. 

The Bible expresses faith is this, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the [Evidence]conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

We do not walk blindly into the night, or at least many of us don’t. When I say us, I mean those who do this for a living. Those who study the faith, study scripture, and preach it and teach it regularly, have usually done deep dives into the, testing the integrity of the Bible, the dependability of the scriptures, the trustworthiness of the eyewitnesses that spoke on Christ. These things lend to our faith being strengthened, and in many cases fortified in its indwelled truth of what is written in God’s word. Simply put, the Bible is reliable, and has stood up to scrutinizing people for centuries, in fact, for a little over 2000 years now. 

My personal faith: Growing up in the Catholic church, I felt a strong connection to church. I didn’t have some of the usual catholic ideals pushed on me, so it wan’t till older in life I heard of such things. I did not hardly ever touch my rosary. I very seldom heard the ‘Hail Mary’. I did however do the other sacraments, of confession, confirmation, and first communion. One other thing I heard growing up was praying to the saints for intercession of our needs. When I got older, I became confused. The Bible says this, Romans 8:34 34 “who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us.” And in 1 John 2:1 “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous;” and in Hebrews 7:25 25 “Therefore He is able also to save forever those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them.” 

I didn’t understand, so, was I supposed to pray to the saints? Was I supposed to pray to Mary? The more I studied my Bible, the more I became convicted, some of the things I thought were right, didn’t seem right anymore. As I got back into church, the first church was an Episcopal church, where women were priests. This raised another slew of questions for me. I had often wondered if the Catholic church was correct forcing celibacy on priests, but this was something entirely different. This, allowing women to preach, was this in scripture? Scripture says this 1 Timothy 2:12 “But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet.” It seems women were not supposed to be priests, or for that matter preach the word to a room of men. The caveat of course is we know Pricilla helped in the teaching of a prominent teacher (Apollos). This shows us that woman can teach kids, and even help evangelize for Christ. But not to have a role preaching from the pulpit. 

As I got older and continued to grow, a few men came into my life that helped me study scripture. They did not just give me their opinion; in fact, it was quite the opposite. “The opinions of man are smashed on the anvil of the Word of God” Charles Spurgeon. What was taught was pure scripture. As I grew in understanding, my faith also grew. The more into the word I got, the greater and stronger my faith became. I began to see where my old opinions began to die, along with my old assertions to what was true. The more into scripture I got, the more the idea that I grew up sorely lacking crept into my life. IF that Catholics had it wrong, what was right? The answer was actually pretty simple. Ephesians 2:8-9 “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; 9 not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.” For I, me, the Arrow Preacher, is saved by grace, through faith. Like the serpent held high by Moses to allow the Israelites to be saved, they must look upon it and have faith. We must look up to our Christ Jesus on the cross and have faith of who He was, and what He died for. Our messiah, Our Lord. It was in that moment I realized there was a doctrine that lined up with scripture, and as I was taught, this doctrine would become the hill I’d be willing to die on. This doctrine is called “The Five Solas”: 

Sola Gratia – Grace Alone

Sola Fide – Faith Alone 

Solus Christus – Christ Alone 

Soli Deo Gloria – Glory of God Alone

Sola Scriptura – Scripture Alone

Made easy, we are saved by Grace, in Faith, through Christ, for the Glory of God, and our only source of knowledge and truth is in scripture. For more on this you can read here at Ligonier Ministries. 

https://learn.ligonier.org/articles/what-are-the-five-solas

My faith grew because I was learning from the Bible alone, and because I was reading God’s truth, I began to see many of the doctrines I was taught growing up had actually led me astray. But my faith having been put to the test in 2016 came out stronger, and continued to grow in strength. 

In 2016, a couple days after I discovered my ex-wife was having an affair, I was sitting in church alone. I was sitting in a spot I never sat before, I was sitting in the pew a broken man. My everything was shattered. I heard the preacher talk, and the Holy Spirit rested over me, convicting me of my brokenness. Showing me that I had but one thing to do. The question came into my mind, “What if I gave everything, what if I gave you everything, what if I stopped holding back everything from you?” I walked the isle that day, tears flowing from my face before I got to the pastor. I was ready to surrender and give it all to Jesus. I was ready to lay my shame out there and walk out of that sanctuary a new man. That broken man, broke down upon the alter, tears flowing uncontrollably from his face. Crying out to the Lord to take over, to change him. He didn’t want to be that many anymore. A week later I had a brush with death. My wife was leaving, taking with her half of everything. She was taking with her 100% of our family. In my loss, and added a little liquid death (alcohol), I sat on the front porch and watched her and her sister pack the car. In my despair I put a pistol to my shoulder and pulled the trigger. I was experiencing a major break in the internal walls I had built to hold all my traumas. Everything passed by my internal eye like movie clips, showing me each of my traumas and failures. I was experiencing a tsunami effect, years of compartmentalization coming back to haunt me. I couldn’t take the failure in my brain, and the pain I felt, needed to be matched with an equal amount of physical pain. I was not looking to die, but to feel, to stop the emotional pain, to reset the onboard computer. I thought my fate was sealed, and that pistol sat upon my shoulder for just a few seconds before I pulled the trigger. What I saw that day stays in my mind, vividly. The blood splatter, the screams, the oxygen leaving my body, and in less than a few moments, nothing. The world was black, it was a void, nothing above me, or below me, nothing I could see, and no light but just a bit from myself. In my fear, in my despair, I cried out to God, “God, I’m sorry.” I expected nothing. I looked for nothing. I expected to die and this was the end of my life, a void of nothing. But that’s when I heard it. A voice came from the darkness shaking the very bones of my body. “You’re forgiven” was all the words said. It felt like being inside a lightning bolt. How much the ground shakes when a bolt is close, was nothing in compare to what I felt. My whole-body shook, as what felt like a lightning bolt hit me. I awoke in the ambulance surprising the paramedics, who believed I’d die before reaching the hospital. The pain my body was in, I wanted to return to what I knew was God. But, much like the words of Gandalf in “Two Towers” “I’ve been sent back, at the turn of the tide.” Why had God sent me back and not just taken me home? 

While I was justified that Sunday September 11th, 2016, my sanctification process would come in a very real metaphorical dumpster fire. I would have to rely on my faith and what little scripture I knew to start getting me through the next 10 months. The divorce and separation were messy to say the least. My faith however was growing in the Lord. It was not a blind faith, but one built upon the Lord’s truth. The Apostles would die, die horrible deaths fueled by hatred and torture, they died never once recanting their eyewitness accounts. Who dies for a lie? People die all the time for a lie, but not one they know for sure is a lie. Jesus could not be a good man, if He wasn’t who He said He was. If He lied, He’d not be a good man, because good men don’t lie. When we see the Apostles were all in hiding at His crucifixion, why the sudden change? Why did they go from petrified cowards, to be willing to get put into jail over and over again, and even horrible deaths. What did they see? They saw the very real risen Christ. Why did Jesus have 12 Apostils? Representing the 12 tribes from the Old Testament. Jesus chose men, no one would choose to change the world. Their eye witness counts would stand the scrutiny of those who truly study it. Men like J. Werner Wallace, Lee Strobel, and Josh McDowell, Sean H. McDowell, have given us the work, the unbiased, or rather, atheist bias, of the scriptures, and the truth of the scriptures turned Wallace, and Strobel into believers. From atheist to believer in the process of disputing and attempt to disprove the scriptures, yet, now, they believe Jesus was who He said He was. 

Myself, I grew up believing parts of the Bible but not all of it. I very much believed in Theistic evolution (also known as theistic evolutionism or God-guided evolution), alternatively called evolutionary creationism, is a view that God acts and creates through laws of nature. I tried to mix the science I grew up with, and the faith I had. This was folly however, as I would come to believe, I had been wrong my whole life. Through my studies with my mentors, and even the Christian University I attended, I found, I was wrong. I truly had been broken down to the bedrock, and rebuilt in Christ. I did not know why Jesus saved me that day, but it wasn’t an easy road. Truly, I laid all my hopes on the table and all my sins were forgiven. I had been washed by the blood, and Jesus saw to rebuild me. My faith in Jesus that September 11th would change my life forever. The day I put that 9mm through my shoulder, I would truly be reborn, because the life I was living had been touched by the hand of God. In my investigation, I found I was never shocked by the paddles, so the electricity I felt, could not have been the defibrillator, but the hand of God. God saw fit, to drastically and dramatically alter my life. 

Over the next year God would put me where He wanted me. I’d have emergency neck surgery and God would bring me through that as well. I’d go through (WWP) Project Odyssey, which began to help with the trauma I had experienced in my life. I’d go through DBT (Dialectical behavior therapy), which is a structured therapy that helps people learn to manage their emotions and change their behaviors. I’d go to another (WWP) Wounded Warrior Project, a Soldier Ride, in which I met a man that changed my path. He expressed his opinion, my path was that of ministry. I laughed at him. I was to broken, too lost in my life to get into ministry. My faith, was tainted by my own self-doubts, my own self-loathing, that hadn’t been purged from me completely yet. I’d later experience a weekend with God, in a program called Lamplighter, and that was the last major even that would change my course, to, you guessed it, ministry. My faith, which was being shown, my life was meant to trust in God, not just during the good times, the easy times, but the hardest of times. My faith was being forged in the trials of life. My walk with God was being shaped through many hardships, and my faith was growing in strength. 

Since then, I have experienced many hardships in my life. I’ve experienced loss, and heartbreak. I recently had yet another brush with death, but many consecutive miracles. For those I would like to have you read 

The Week My Heart Stopped

and 

One Month Later 

These posts highlight what I went through. They highlight the events I believe to be miracles in my life. This doesn’t mean I don’t struggle. What it does mean, is the path of a Christian is not an easy one. I have grappled with tough things, just in the last couple months. I was not convinced having open heart surgery, or even the pacemaker surgery, was the right decision. It would have been easy for me to say I was ready to go home. It would have been easy for me to give up this life, but I needed to lean upon my faith to justify staying here longer. I highlight this fight in the blog post, 

Why Do You Keep Fighting? 

In reality, I fight for those I care about. I fight to continue spreading the Gospel of Christ to as many people as I can. My faith, while strong, doesn’t mean I haven’t questioned my choices. It doesn’t mean I haven’t spoken to God about this, but in the end, I am still here, and I’m still leaning upon that faith, not of my own understanding. I don’t exactly know why God saved me, so all I have is my faith. I trust in the Lord, and I expect He will guide my path. He will walk with me, and if He chooses to reveal any details about why I’m still here, I’m sure He will. When I doubt, I know it’s the liar, the deceiver, whispering in my ear. I recognize his vial speech within my deep thoughts of denial, and strife. The power that raised Jesus is the same power that lives within me. The same faith that made David step out onto that battle field with a few smooth stones, the same faith that Gideon had when he fought the Midianites. The same faith Daniel had to pray openly, and face the lions. The same faith Peter felt when he stepped out of the boat in the storm. The same faith that Paul had that led him through various trials, but most important was the first choice to go from hunting Christians to being one of them. This is the faith that rests within me. 

I am not a perfect man, and my faith isn’t perfect. I am not a finished product, and in my weakness He is strong. I do however sin, and I must repent of those sins. I need to seek forgiveness when I do sin, and believe the blood of Christ will wash me clean. I do not mean to sin, my faith does not give me a free license to sin, but when I do, I know Jesus picks me up, puts me back together. See…. The truth is, when I am shattered, and I’m broken, and I know I have wronged a Holy God; when I am hurting, I do not want to be put back together the same. I want God to change me through these experiences. When I go through these things, I have faith that God is using it to bring me closer to Himself. I want my life to be sanctified in Christ, and therefore I do not want be the same today as I was yesterday. I pray to God that my yesterday is gone, and today is a new opportunity for me to get closer to Him. My faith has never come back empty. While I don’t always get what I want, I get from God exactly what I need. Faith in Christ is not a blind faith, and we see in scripture the truth, that this life will not be easy for a Christian. It is not meant for wealth, and fame, and peaceful living. The truth is, we are soldiers on the battlefield for Christ, and our faith is, we know we are fighting for good. Everything we experiences forges us into a stronger soldier. We can resist Satan because we have faith and trust in the one true King, Jesus Christ. Jesus gives us all we need, and in our faith in Him, we can rejoice when we are beaten, rejoice when we reach the mountain top, and rejoice when we are laid by the peaceful streams. Our faith tells us that the battle is won, and we can trust in Christ in all we do. My faith tells me that one day I will be called home, but till that day comes, my faith will remain true.

Let us not put our faith in the wrong places. Let us be careful and cautious with whom and what we place our faith. Let us not put faith in our heart, for it is deceitfully wicked. Let us not put our faith in idols, or even people. Let us test everything, and ensure it comes from the Lord. Have faith in Jesus. Let us go, and make disciples, showing them why our faith is true. Let our faith guide us to dig deep in scripture, learning, growing, and let our faith teach us how to fight for the truth. Let us understand apologetics (the defense of our faith), and be able to know scripture, to withstand the external scrutiny. Not everything you read on the internet is true. Not everything on Instagram or TikTok is true and accurate, and it’s yours and my job as a Christian to decern the truth. The only truth that matters is what’s in scripture. Hold fast to your faith, and don’t let the world deceive you. Go in the peace and love of Jesus Christ. 

For more content on faith you can read: 

Where is YOUR Faith?
Making the Leap of Faith
Build Your Faith on a Solid Foundation
Build Faithful Wealth
Leap of Faith
Simple Faith

For more content you can follow on YouTube: 

https://youtube.com/@thearrowpreacher6920?si=wvVC80iHWsSSkRY1

Currently going through the Gospel of John. 

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? 

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? 

Growing up I wanted to be nothing but a soldier. In fact, I wanted to be a fighter pilot, but early in my life I found myself pushing to be a soldier. The day before I graduated from high school I received a letter from the Marine Corps, denying my entry to the Corps. The following day I went to graduation not knowing what my future would bring. I found myself listing like a ship upon the rough sea. The storm bellowed around me, not knowing what my tomorrow would hold. After the death of my dear friend, I found myself even more at odds with my future, and after a few poor life choices, I found myself home. After several months back home, I ran into a military recruiter at Meijer grocery store. Re-apply he said. So, within a few weeks, that’s what I did. After walking into the recruiting office, the first place I found myself was the Air Force. I set up my date to go to MEPS, and while there I had a great day and night. I did decently well, but I was not happy with the possible job opportunities. I didn’t feel any of them where my calling. I did not want to be a police officer for the military, (at that time). So, when I got back to town, my recruiter didn’t meet me there. Frustrated, and upset, I marched right into the Army Recruiting office, and spoke to them. On the 15-minute drive home I had narrowed down the jobs I wanted. Within a day on the internet, I narrowed down to one, Cavalry Scout. I was determined to make this a reality in my life. I went back to MEPS, and having to write an essay why I felt I would make a good scout, and why i deserved it, I won my position. I would be a soldier, and a cavalry scout, reconnaissance and surveillance, counter intelligence on the battle field, and a shadow. 

I made it through training, with a few bumps and bruises. I traveled to S. Korea where I wanted my first duty station. Then I deployed to Iraq, which was a surprise to us all. A warfighter, a protector of those who couldn’t protect themselves. Everything I learned in basic training was put to the test on the battle field, the combat theater of Ar-Ramadi, Iraq. I was not doing advanced recon, instead, I was kicking in doors, doing raids, snatch and grabs, intel gathering, observation posts, and sniper/ambush missions, among other things. My dream was being fulfilled. I was a combat soldier, and I had a long future in the military, (if I survived deployment). Sadly, my knee didn’t survive deployment and my 20-year plan was shattered, along with the cartilage in my knee. That knee injury, and subsequent surgery would eventually get me medically discharged. Leaving me with the question, what did I want to be when I grew up. 

After years of searching, living abroad in Germany, being a cashier at the on base gas station, then working in retail again, I would eventually become a security officer. I worked extraordinarily hard at it, and would be given the security officer of the year award for both the district and state. The pinnacle of my successful career. Yet, a year later, I would be let go after having a major trauma in my life. The loyalty was gone, a thank you for saving the life of a student, would mean nothing, a year later. Losing everything in the divorce, I found myself once again asking, since my FBI career would be over before it ever began, what did I want to be when I grew up. 

I listed again, tossed upon the waves, uncertain of my future. I found myself finishing my degree, still working in security, doing good work, but not where I wanted to be. Security was coming to a close in my life as I just, didn’t want to do it anymore. But, i went to work as an assessment counselor at an assessment center for at risk juveniles. The job was hard, but I was struck down by a difficult supervisor, and then later, physically struck by a youth. I was seriously injured and I had decided after the injury’s recovery time, not to return, thus ending my working career. Medical retirement seemed to be my future. I was making enough on my disability; work was something I was doing because I wanted to help people. So, I suffered through the emotional abuse at work, until, the job ended in my serious injury from one of the kids. What would I do when I grew up. 

After a while, I begun getting connected to Wounded Warrior Project. The Odyssey program would lay the foundation to what would eventually have saved my life. The first brick laid on my path, and shortly after, I would go to Cape Cod on a Soldier Ride. During the event we had a nice dinner on a train. While having conversations with one of the other soldiers, we discussed my path. He was a chaplain in the military and during our conversation he made the remark, ‘Have you ever thought of going to school for ministry?’ I laughed and adamantly said no. He just smiled and said OKAY. He went on to explain there were lots of job in ministry, not just the pastor, after i said I didn’t want to be a pastor, and I knew God didn’t want me to be one either. It wasn’t long after that I began having conversations with a friend of mine, and I would have the next large step laid before me during a ‘Lamlighter’ event. God was speaking to me, I, at the time, wasn’t listening very well. 

Within 6 months I begun training with the associate pastor at my church, and by October of 2020 I would become an Ordained Reverend by a counsel of both pastors and deacons from my church and others in the area. I knew by that point that I wanted to help others, and to disciple, and minister to the niche groups, nerds and veterans. Since then, while my dream location has yet to come to pass, I continue to reach out to the veteran community and the nerd community to offer my support. I have also continued to grow both this outreach, the blog, and the YouTube channel in which I speak twice a week. Currently on the channel at the time of this writing, I am preaching/teaching through the book of John. I had no idea ministry was what God had planned for me. Even though I’m retired, and I do not get paid for what I do, I love what I am doing. I love preaching and teaching God’s word, and I love studying it. While I often wish the channel would get more attention, I know that those who read or watch my content, hopefully are being blessed by the word of God. I feel as long as I continue to preach and teach faithfully, the Lord will continue to protect, and bless me and my family. 

Finding what you are meant to do isn’t always easy. Using your gifts, and talents, and passions, God has given to you, for your work is vital to your overall happiness in life. Joy is found in the Lord, and through the selfless service we offer to God, we may find our place that God wants for us. I had never thought about being in ministry, except for the priest in my young life making a comment about it once, that he felt I was destined for ministry, even if it wasn’t being a priest. While my life is one of poverty, physical hardships, and sometimes lonely, I do have joy in the Lord. I may not always get what I want, but the Lord always provides what I need. In just the recent months the Lord’s presence has shown brightly. Having saved my life through multiple miracles, then providing enormous financial assistance, and being with me while I experienced immense spiritual warfare, God is truly the all-powerful, all knowing, all sovereign, all loving God. How could God save a wretch like me? How could God ordain me, a sinner, a fallen creature, grace. God always knew where He wanted me, I just ran from the calling He had for me. I couldn’t face the life He wanted for me, it wasn’t glamorous, it didn’t pay well (I’m still not getting paid), but the rewards are beyond comprehension. When you have joy because of what you do, and you know you are serving a very big God, you have what you need. God provides my needs, and sometimes my wants, rewarding me for my service. I do not do this for what I’ve been given. This is by no means a prosperity gospel, because if the Lord were to take it all away today, I’d still preach because of what He’s done for me. He saved me, and that’s all there is. Going from a dead man in my wretched sins, to saved, to living, to now being headed for a very real heaven, a place I do not deserve to go, and a place I can’t work to get into, is something I could never deserve. What I deserve is Hell. I deserve to go to a very real Hell, because of my sins. I have committed cosmic treason, breaking the commandments set forth for us. I could never wash off that mud myself, but the blood of a Holy Jesus Christ, could. When those who set foot before God, before Jesus say, look what we did for you, and He replies be gone with you, the motive of why you were doing such things is laid bare for all of Heaven to see. We would never deserve Heaven, and therefore it’s not about what we did, but rather, “I am not worthy to be here oh Holy one.” “I am a sinner, and I deserve death.” Acknowledging our sins, and asking for mercy and forgiveness is all we should say. Jesus is King, He is the Lord of Lords, and we must believe, repent, and obey His commands. I want to be a good Christian when I grow up. I want to put a smile upon God’s face, and know that I am doing what the Lord wants of me. It was a long road to get here, but I am nowhere near where I thought I would be in my teenage years. My father died early in life, he was in his 40’s. I never knew him, and I wish he could see the man his son turned out to be. I wish I knew if my father would have been proud of me, proud of the man I became. Sadly, I will never know, and finding anyone who knew him has been hard. I don’t know what it’s like to have someone be proud of me, to hear it growing up was not part of my life. I only hope, that where I am right now, and what I’m doing right now, my Lord, Jesus Christ is proud of me. Am I serving well? Am I sharing the truth as He would want me too? My ABBA Father, I just hope I am doing what my Lord requires of me. I want my father to be proud of me when I grow up. I want to serve my Lord God when I grow up. I want to continue to be a vocal Christian when I grow up.

For more content follow:

The Arrow Preacher Youtube

https://youtube.com/@thearrowpreacher6920?si=wvVC80iHWsSSkRY1

Why Do You Keep Fighting? 

thearrowpreacher1 Comment

Why Do You Keep Fighting? 

“Matrix Revolutions”

Agent Smith: Why Mr Anderson, Why, Why, Why do you do it? Why, why get up? Why keep fighting? You believe your fighting for something, for more than your survival, can you tell me what it is, do you even know? Is it freedom or truth, perhaps peace, could it be for love? Illusions Mr. Anderson, vagaries of perception, temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose. And all of them is as artificial as the Matrix itself. Although, only a human mind could invent something as incipit as love. You must be able to see it Mr Anderson, you must know it by know, you can’t win, it’s pointless to keep fighting. WHY MR ANDERSON, WHY DO YOU PERSIST?” 

Neo: Because I choose too. 

“Pilgrims Progress”

As Christian journeys to the beautiful Celestial City, he first must pass through the valley of humiliation. There he meets the evil prince Apollyon. He said “I have given him my faith, and sworn my allegiance to him; how then can I go back from this, and not be hanged as a traitor?” 

After a long battle, Apollyon delivered a near fatal blow to Christian. There, Christian lay beaten to the ground. As Apollyon was about to deliver the final, fatal blow, “Christian nimbly reached out his hand for his sword, and caught it saying “Rejoice not against me, O mind enemy; when I fall, I shall arise” (Micah 7:8) 

In these two stories, an over arching question is raised. In the Matrix, it’s why do you fight. In Pilgrims Progress, its why do you give your loyalty to the King of the celestial city? Much like the two questions raised, we also face this exact question in our own life. After becoming a Christian, it’s one of the first things you are met with, an onslaught of attacks from a cunning, and powerful enemy. In my life, I have often found myself beaten to the ground like Christian was in his fight against Satan/Apollyon. It’s in this moment, I often think of Satan asking me that very question, “Why Jacob, why do you persist?!” That’s the question we must all answer in our long fight in this war. When times are hard, and we’ve been beaten to the ground by illness, addiction, sinful pleasures, or just life’s hardships, life can be pretty hard on us sometimes. Some, obviously more than others, but the reality is, all who chose to pick up their cross and follow Christ, will find themselves as soldiers in this war. The phrase used commonly in todays military, attributed to General William Sherman of the American Civil War, “War is hell.” Having been to war, I whole heartedly agree. 

As I wrote recently, “One day I will be recalled from this duty station. One day, the Lord will say my watch is over. One day Jesus will tell me, well done soldier, now rest. One day I will take up residence where I truly belong. One day, I will see what I’ve been fighting for this whole time. I long for that day, but for now, I will serve God faithfully here.” (The Week My Heart Stop, By The Arrow Preacher, https://thearrowpreacher.com/2024/12/07/the-week-my-heart-stopped/) I fight because of love. I fight because Jesus loved me enough to die for me on the cross. I endure hardships because Christ endured hardships. I take the beating because the Apostles, like Christ, took the beatings. I fight the war, because Paul said “Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Eph 6:11-12) We were given a promise that at the end of our fight we would be given a crown, but we fight not for a crown, or a mansion in Heaven, we fight because it’s the right thing to do. We fight because the powers of darkness spread like that of Mordor upon Middle Earth. We fight because we have loved ones in harms way. We fight because we do not wish to see those whom we love perish to the darkness of the pit, where fire and brimstone reign, where no water exists to quench the thirst, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. We fight for love, and this love is eternal. We fight because we love, because Jesus first loved us. Poor Christian was beaten down to the ground, about to be ended with one final blow, but it was in his darkest hour the miracle occurred. That sword ended up in his hand, between his fingers, and he plunged the blade into the beasts belly, forcing the foul creature to flee. Christian, even though he fought the devil and nearly lost, he was victorious, by the power of Christ in him. We too have that same power flowing through us, and to quote the genie from ‘Aladdin’, “You’ve got some power in your corner now.” (Aladdin, 1992) When we are surrendered to Christ, and allow the Holy Spirit to dwell within us, the true nature of “I can do all things, through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13. This doesn’t mean you can score 100 points in a basketball game, or catch the winning touchdown throw with zero left on the clock. Sadly this verse is the most taken out of context verses in all of scripture. When you are Joshua storming the gates of Jerico and the odds are against you, it’s the Lords strength and decree that win the day. When you are Gideon and you face an army far larger than yourself, and God said to go, in Him all things are possible. When the Lord tells you to do something, it’s then you are given the strength to endure and accomplish what the Lord sent you to do. I fight not of my own strength, but of the Lords. I endure not of myself, but because the Lord has permitted me to endure. If it were left in my hands, I would fall, and not get back up. If it were left in my own hands, I would fail. 

Life is one of hardships, but for a baby Christian it can be confusing. A baby Christian is someone who is either new to the faith, or someone who’s been stagnant in their growth of the faith and are stuck at the baby phase. The baby Christian knows very little scripture. They do not have a strong relationship with God, and can easily be swayed by the word, and heretics preaching false gospel. These babies, often experience attacks early in their faith, and much like Christian’s friend in ‘Pilgrims Progress’, Pliable leaves Christian, abandons the path just as soon as he stepped onto it, at the first sign of trouble. Sadly in my own walk as a Christian, I have known many like Pliable, where they do not make up their mind, and at the first sign of difficulty, they abandon their walk with Christ. Largely the question comes up, “why would a loving God create so much darkness?” “Why would a loving God force me to go through so much hardship?” To that question, I answer this, God allows us to go through hardships because we don’t know what’s truly ‘good, or bad’. Anything that we believe changes our own plans, or makes us uncomfortable is considered bad. James writes, James 1:2-8 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.” The Author of James, the half brother of Jesus, understood hardships. When he was writing the book of James, Christians were already being persecuted, and murdered. He writes this knowing that when he says trials, what he’s really saying here is when our friends are murdered, and you become persecuted also, count it joy to die for Christ. How can someone so calmly say, it’s alright to die for a belief. Why do you still fight? Why did the Apostles continue to preach day after day, and endure the beatings, endure the prison, and eventually endure the death that befell nearly all of them? They believed because of what they had seen and witnessed. It’s this witness that leaves me to the why. Why do I, personally, as the Arrow Preacher, why do I fight? 

Early in my life I found myself different from those around me. I found myself struggling with being an outsider, and being different from my friends. Early on in my life I heard the call from Jesus, though I wouldn’t fully understand till I was older. The hardships I endured, and even the betrayals I endured early in my life set me on a path, and shaped my personality. Before I went to basic training I had many tell me, I wouldn’t make it through training, I would fail. The last day of our training we endured a 20+ K ruck march, where we endured both hills named “Heartbreak” and “Misery”, which are both perfectly named. This march would be conducted with our 60-80 pound rucksack on our backs, along with our helmets, and rifles. We would endure venturing into this march, incredibly sleep, and rest deprived. At the time of basic training I was a mere 120 pound tiny fella. I struggled from around half way, till the end. A soldier had fallen to the rear of the formation, struggling with an Achilles injury. I chose to make sure he didn’t march alone. I fell back to ensure he wouldn’t quit. If I wasn’t going to quit, I didn’t want him to quit either. We marched together, both struggling, both falling further behind, and in danger of the drill sergeant calling it, forcing us into the truck. We endured the pain, and continued to march ahead. It was in that moment, when I felt like my hope was lost, we turned a corner, and there two football fields away, I saw it, I saw our barracks. The end was so close, and I couldn’t contain my joy. Tears fell from my eyes, as I knew that while so many had quit, so many were forced by injury onto the trucks, I had endured, I had defied the odds, and I had proven to both myself, and others, that I had what it took to serve as a Cavalry Scout in the United States Army. It’s that same strength and determination that allows me today, to continue to defy the devil when he asks me, “Why do you persist?!” I persist because I choose to. I persist because I have faith. I persist because I love Jesus, and those around me, and the fight is worth it. When I look around, and much like the Matrix, I see people all around me who are still plugged into to the system of this world, it breaks my heart. When I see people who have turned from Jesus, or have rejected Him outright, I hurt in the knowledge they may forever face damnation. I fight for them. I fight so I may share the love of Christ, as He commanded me to, to make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them. I fight because I know that somehow, or some way, Jesus will use what I have gone through in my life as a part of my testimony. I know that God waist’s nothing, and He will use what I have gone through later on down the road. Or, what I have endured, is the forging process, to heat me, to make be shapable, to then allow the world to heat me, but always being the master forge, He pounds me into a beautifully crafted, battle ready, and battle hardened sword. Out of hardships the armor is born, at least for me. All the hardships I endured have culminated in who I am, a man seeking after God, knowing I am not alone in this fight. But, I am ready to fight. 

Part II The Journey

Years ago, when I was a child, I faced intense bullying. This was not just verbal, but I was battered on a regular basis. I received swirleys; I had my shoes thrown into urinal stalls, while they were being used; I was beat up in the halls; hit in the back of the head on the bus; tripped as I walked down the halls; my clothes stolen in the locker room; I was targeted in gym, and worse I was targeted for thieving, such one time I was walking home from the bus stop when someone came up behind me and grabbed the gold chain I was wearing, breaking it but stealing it. When I turned around to confront my assailant, I was met with a fist to the side of my head, instantly knocking me to the ground, my ears ringing, and my eyes immediately blurred. Another time I was battered because someone didn’t understand my meaning of something I said. I was beaten badly, punch after punch to my head and face. I didn’t fight back. The worst part was after my mother’s attempted suicide, which I was present for, having saved her life from bleeding to death. From that day forth, people would say stuff like, ‘you’re so worthless even your mother had to try and kill herself to get away from you.’ This went on for years of my young life. I had often attempted to avoid school so I wouldn’t be subjected to this torture. I would avoid the bus so I wouldn’t be beat up. Sadly, in those days we didn’t have noise canceling headphones to just ignore them. 

Then, there was home. At home, my mother’s ex-boyfriend was a hoarder of car parts and tools. In the home we had boxes from floor to ceiling, only carving small pathways to places like rooms, the couch, but every nook and cranny, every bit of floor space was covered with boxes. The only refuge I had was my own room. But, with it being a trailer, the walls were thin, so when mom and her boyfriend argued I would hear them. Mom would often come to my room crying, waking me up, even if it was late on a school night. 

The first time I moved out I was 10 years old. I moved for a summer, and by the end of summer, I was given the option for the family I was with to formally adopt me. In my mind, I couldn’t bring that pain to mom, and I knew that me being away for the summer would have given mom time to change. But, as I would find out as time went on, and one move after another, she didn’t change. When I moved to Massachusetts from Michigan for another summer, with the intent to stay and go to school there, my return home didn’t change anything. This went on for six different moves, and each ended the same way. It wasn’t till my 15th birthday that I finally decided enough was enough. Within a year, I was given the opportunity to in essence be emancipated, and choose the guardian I wished to stay with. I would move in with my grandfather, and that’s when life began to change for me. 

My trauma would follow me however, and it always created doubt in myself, a poor image of myself, and fear of losing the people I cared for. The first woman I loved; I would have done anything for her. Even after we broke up, I bought her a car, and helped her anytime I could. In that time I couldn’t imagine life without her. I went to war and again, broken up, she was the person I was fighting for, fighting to return home. 

War trauma is a very real, and difficult thing to overcome. During my time in Ramadi, Iraq, I faced battle. I would experience my first miracle during a well-organized ambush, designed to kill Americans. This miracle, had several little miracles, one after another, as we beat the odds, 100:2. A hundred or more insurgents against two Humvees. As Winstin said from John Wick, “Fourteen-million-dollar bounty on his head, and every interested party in this city wants a piece of it, I’d say the odds were about even.” In a way, this was the ambush we experienced. We survived several RPG’s, small arms fire, IED’s, a failure in the main gun on the truck, a loss of communication with our partner truck, three blown out tires, a loss of combustion in the truck leaving it to limp out of the combat zone at a whopping five miles per hour. It truly was a miracle we survived. We also lost friends, several from outside the platoon would not make it home, but also from within our platoon. We experienced a traumatic loss as a truck would be destroyed, killing all four people on board. I was there that day, and witnessed the horror of what an explosive device can do to the human body. I will spare you the blood and gore, but it’s severe. 

Having survived two very nasty divorces, even finding myself in jail twice, because of them, not for anything violent, but regardless, having lived my life as much like Captain America, like a boy scout, as I could, being placed in handcuffs, being booked and charged with a crime, was extraordinarily painful, and traumatic. Thankfully those charges never stuck, and I became a free man. 

My own trauma, where I put a 9mm hallow point through my left shoulder, and nearly dying, left me with enough trauma for three lifetimes. Nearly dying will always have an effect on you. My own experience hearing the voice of God, would forever shape my future. One week prior to the gunshot wound I realized I was going about life the wrong way. I realized that I believed in Jesus as my savior, but I had not surrendered to Him as Lord. It was this realization that brought me to my knees in repentance. Just because you surrender to Christ doesn’t mean life will go the way you think it should. While I am not harboring ill will towards anyone, I believe now, that divorce was probably one of the best things that could have happened to me. I don’t believe that we would have made a good couple for my role in ministry. God indeed works in mysterious ways. 

In recent days, as some of you already know, I had a series of miracles in my life, from finding the damage to my aorta in the most unusual way, requiring immediate medical intervention to save my life, to the failure in my heart, necessitating a pacemaker be installed. Even after that, random pain in my left lower back, led me to believe I had a kidney stone. Upon scans, there was no stone, and the next day I felt fine, but the scan revealed fluid around my heart. After a more direct scan they found the fluid was affecting my heart’s ability to pump. This prompted an immediate intervention, which had me admitted to the hospital. In total nearly 400 ML of blood were removed. For perspective the amount pulled out of my heart was nearly as much as one would give, when they give blood. For more information on my heart surgery recovery, please read “The Week My Heart Stopped” https://thearrowpreacher.com/2024/12/07/the-week-my-heart-stopped/ and “One Month Later” https://thearrowpreacher.com/2024/12/22/one-month-later/

Living in a tent under these conditions provides many challenges. Even recently, a strong wind storm came to town, and continued time after time, to pull the chimney free from its elbow connection. With a limited amount of both mobility and strength, to fix any problems that come, would add extreme tasks. The same day, the elastic guideline connection came untied. It took me 20 minutes, in the rain, to figure out how the knot was tied. It took a great deal of effort and strength to complete the mission. While technically living in a tent is choice, it’s the better of two choices. Once again I find myself in the midst of challenges, I do not have the ability to fix. Every day is a challenge, one I feel unprepared to handle. I know that one battle we must face is that of patience. We often want things our way, in our timeline. The greatest display of patience or rather, lack thereof, is in scripture is that of Abraham and his handmaiden giving birth to Ishamael. Sarah and Abram at the time lost sight of God’s plan, and did not wait for the Lord. They took matters into their own hands, and thus disobeying God. We should take this as our cautionary tale about what happens when we become impatient and try to fix a problem in our own way and time. God’s ways are above our ways, His timing is not our timing. Fighting the urge to go out on our own, is the sin flesh nature that highlights our pride. Often times, pride is a battle all on its own. Pride pulls us as sin pulls us. We don’t always fight large problems, sometimes in our life we fight our feelings. We fight depression, we fight anxiety, we fight doubts, we fight the sins that make us feel good, and temporarily satisfied. One more level of the battlefield that makes the war a complicated one. 

The point is, we all have trials, we have traumas, we have hardships, and heartaches, but it’s these things in our life that truly do mold and shape us. They shape us, but it’s what we do with them that define us. What does your character look like? Do these things make you bitter? Do these things make you cold? Do these things make you angry? How is it we are to take these things and have joy in our heart? Jesus tells us to take heart because He overcame the world. And He is with us till the end of the age. We have joy that cannot be taken, no matter what happens because we have faith in Christ, and this life, this world is temporary. How to overcome these things is simple, we place them at the foot of the cross, and we never pick them up again. We let go of the baggage that holds us back. As I have often used a rucksack as my example. When you’re walking up a hill, you take with only what you need. Much like the sword of Griffendor, it takes in only what makes it stronger. We must take in only what makes us stronger, and anything that is weighing us down, doubt, fear, regret, sorrow, anxiety, we set these down, and continue the fight. We cannot win the war if we have carried so much we are over encumbered. 

I have experienced so much, and the work it has taken to get to where I am, is not of my own power, but rather the changing power of the Holy Spirit in me. I am nothing, a dead man, without the Spirit in my heart. My works are nothing, they are but filthy rags before the Lord. Works without faith are nothing, and faith without works are nothing. It is our faith, that produces the works. We are never saved by our works, but our repentance of our sins, and our faith in Jesus Christ as He is the way the truth and the life. He is the only way to the father, and no one, not one person gets to the father except through Christ. Jesus told us the path to destruction is wide, but the path to glory is a narrow one, and few will follow it. I fight for the truth. There is but one truth, and that’s God’s truth. Nothing begets nothing. Intelligent design points to an intelligent designer. Life does not come from nothing. I fight for the truth because I believe people don’t willingly die for a lie. I fight for the truth because I know the apostles wrote the truth, they described themselves as cowards. They described themselves as afraid during the crucifixion of their supposed Lord. The moment they saw their Lord risen from the dead they became bold, so bold that they withstood great pressure from Rome, and the Jews, that they went to their deaths in horrible ways. No one goes to their death for something they know to be a lie. People don’t give up power, wealth and prestige, but a ranking member of the Sanhedrin, “Paul”, gave up everything to follow Christ, even after he persecuted them, and sent them to their deaths. I fight for truth because I believe scripture to be true. 

What do you fight for? Why do you fight? What are you willing to do, or how far are you willing to go? I have found it’s easy to die, it’s a hard thing to live, and continue to fight the good fight. For whatever reason, after all my near-death circumstances, the Lord wants me on this earth. I will obey my Lord, and I will fight. I will fight till I draw no more breaths. I will fight injustice; I will fight against wrong. I will fight to keep my family safe. I will fight to preach and teach the truth to all who will listen. I fight because I love. I love my family, and I love my enemies. I wish for no one to perish, and the time we have is precious. What we do with it, is important. Do we maximize our efforts to share the name of Jesus to all, or do we squander it? Do we fight to look like Christ daily, fighting our sin nature? Living amongst the world as a non-believer is easy. Living among those who hate you, and want you to not be a part of their society is hard. Fighting for the Love of Christ is hard. Picking up your cross out of love and carrying it, dying to yourself, dying to society, and walking a very different path than your neighbors is tough, perhaps the toughest thing you will ever do. But the rewards for doing so, are beyond our earthly comprehension. The gift to spend eternity with our Lord and Savior, is the greatest gift we could ever receive. The most significant miracle I’ve ever experienced is the Lord changing my heart. I went from being apathetic to the word of God, to all in. The moment I heard the Lord’s voice, and life was breathed back into my dying chest, was like God imprinted something on my heart and mind. A purpose, a guiding star to place my compass and embark on the hardest journey of my life. I fight because the Lord asked me to fight. Am I a threat to Satan and his kingdom? I do believe so, and thus why I have experienced such hardships in the recent years. I am sharing the gospel when I am able, I write, I do my podcast on YouTube, and I preach and teach to anyone who will listen. I am unshaken, I am unbreakable, I am forged in the fires of this world, and I will fight till my last breath, because I love the Lord, and I love the people of this fallen, sick world. I fight because I love what the Lord loves, and I fight to serve. The Lord saved me by giving me a new heart valve, and a pacemaker to run my heart. I survived open heart surgery; I survived my heart stopping, and beating again. I survived blood crushing down upon my heart, and I will continue to survive whatever the world sends at me, till the day, the Lord recalls me. I will fight the good fight till Jesus calls me home and says well done. Will you fight with me? Will you be zealous for the word of God? Will you choose to follow Christ? Let us fight this war together. Let us never quit, and never surrender. Let us fight in love because we choose too. 

Ashes to Ashes

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Ashes to Ashes

We often don’t think much about the draw of time on our bodies, or about time itself. I’ve been taking some time to think about what it was God said to Adam in the Garden of Eden just prior to his exile: 

By the sweat of your face

You will eat bread,

Till you return to the ground,

Because from it you were taken;

For you are dust,

And to dust you shall return.”

— Genesis 3:19

You must work, and work hard all the days of your life. You will eat the product of your work till your days end. This is the curse on which the human race is forced to live. Our lives are bound to the linear decay, a beginning, and an end of time. We face tomorrow with optimism, even though we have seen the perpetual onslaught of unanticipated trials and tribulations. While some people may plan for the future to have some struggles, it’s the reality that life will throw untold amount of struggles our way that we will never truly be able to plan for, or avoid. How do we handle life’s day to day struggles? We must face our lives with dignity and strength. How though is this done? When our struggle is the nature of time itself, we must understand our lives are truly only in the present. 

Jesus tells us not to worry about tomorrow, that it would worry for itself. Our lives are the moments in which we live. Sure, we can plan for tomorrow, but it’s the here and now, we must truly focus on. The little muscle in your mouth, what is said, how does it make others feel? What kinds of hurt does the tongue cause, and the damage does it do once those words are sent into the air. We cannot undo, nor can we live in the past. We often get stuck in a moment in time of the past. When I was a younger man, I experienced trauma, after trauma, after trauma, and in my own way, unbeknownst to those around me, I too remained trapped in moments of time. As a child, I learned how to use compartmentalization for every incident I faced. In a moment of weakness, a total loss of control, I faced my own mortality. A moment in time, when for a second, time seemed to stop. In that moment, the culmination of my failures tumbled down like castles built on sand, drowning in a tidal wave of regret, disappointment, and pictures of the trauma running through my mind. My world fell apart in a moment in time. But, since then, small moments have built upon one, and then another, and eventually life changed, and we rest upon today, this very moment where I am typing one word after another. I have survived trauma, after trauma, and several life changing events. I have overcome some pretty big obstacles as I have faced death head on, and God pulled me through, not myself. I do not have the power to beat death, but God has the power, that in me, He overcame the death of a soul, and as far as my physical body, God has seen fit to bring me through the brink of death, now many times over. A few weeks ago, my heart stopped as I lay in bed, aware the pacemaker would stop, and aware the inevitable outcome would likely be my heart stopping, and I would feel it slow, the world around me would fade, and black would surround me. The brink of death was upon me, and I had no control over it. When the time comes in our lives, the end of that verse will play out, from dust we came, from dust we shall return. God knows the date each of us will be conceived, and He knows the date we will draw our final breath. It’s this knowledge we must face the truth, there are only two things that truly matter in this life, our faith in Christ, and the people in our lives. 

On a regular basis we neglect the people in our lives by the things we say, the things we do, or more aptly, the things we don’t do. In reality, do we love others the way we should? Do we show that love to the people we care about? Do we show up when they need us the most? How do we spend our days, and what do we spend our days doing? What is it we focus on? What is it we put our time and effort into? These things often not only take our gaze off of our so called loved ones, but our Lord also. We have so little precious time with our loved ones, and yet we are derelict in our affections. Not only do we have sin in our lives against a Holy God, that sin goes out against those in our lives. Is the idol in our lives appointments? Is the idol in our lives, sports, work, alcohol, drugs, sex, or something else? We often fill our lives with stuff, and it’s that stuff that takes our focus from God, and the people in our lives. We let these many distractions of the world remove us from the lives of the people we once cared for. Days turn to weeks, turn to years, and we’ve all of a sudden lost track of people we once loved. The years creep in between, and before you know it, a car accident, an illness, something makes all the stuff we filled our lives with seem worthless and meaningless. How did we let so much time go by before we reached out? How did we let so much time go by before we told that person how we felt? How do we let that much time go by without talking to God? Time is not an ally, it’s an enemy. We can neither reason with it, or do anything to buy more of it. When time is up, it’s up. What did we do with the time that was given to us? Did we use it wisely, or did we waist it? Did we use the time God gave to us to glorify Him, and to share His gospel, to grow the kingdom? If we are evaluated on our time management, how well do we score? When sharing the love of Christ is the card in which we are judged. 

This is not a new perspective of mine, but rather one that has presented itself to me multiple times in my life. Having so many near death experiences tends to do that to a person. The difference now, rather than in my past, is in my past, I was the victim of hardships, rather than the survivor of hardships. My surviving, is not of my own doing, but the will of God. The will of God in my life is that He be glorified in my trials. Much like Steven, or Paul, Joseph, or Moses, praising God in the storm is how they got through it. Today, in this time, many people only praise God when life is good, but the moment something takes away that good feeling, God becomes the enemy. The reality is, we face a very real enemy in our lives, and it isn’t God. We are in a battle, just one we cannot see. All around us there’s a battle for our souls, and our lives. Demons roam this world sewing chaos, deception, and dissension among the mortal men. Angels go around nurturing those in need, bringing peace, and comfort, wisdom, and guidance. The war for our souls is won in Jesus Christ, because the end of time is already written, but today, here and now, we are still in the battle. Do we stand ready to fight in the here and now, or do we allow the world to dictate terms? Do we fight for what God told us to do, by loving one another thus fulfilling the Law? We are to love, and love takes effort. Love takes nurturing a baby fire, or a raging fire, but always tending to its needs. If the fire is left unattended, just like my fireplace, the fire will go out. Love takes action, and when we love the people in our lives, it takes action to show them love. How do we show up for them? Is it a text, or a call, a visit, or a card in the mail? With today’s technology, we have never been able to reach out to someone more easily to keep in touch, yet we have never been more distant from one another. Our own brilliance has been used as a tool by the Devil to separate us. Sadly, it worked. 

If heart surgery has taught me nothing else, it’s to cherish every moment. I myself am not afraid to die, in fact, in many ways, I long for it. That is not me wishing it would come today, but knowing what my tomorrow brings is something I long for. To have a glorified body, without the pain, without the tears, or the suffering of this world, but to live in paradise with the creator of the universe. The problem with death for a believer, is the hardships your absence brings to those who loved you and those you love. Sadly, I have seen it too often where the death of a friend is the catalyst that brings people together. It’s death that brings friends and family together who haven’t seen one another in years, who haven’t talked in that time. Death reminds us for a fleeting moment, that we haven’t talked in forever. Yet, in our day to day, we do nothing to change it. My wish for you is to look at your life and seek after those whom you love. Do not take time for granted because it isn’t your friend. Time slows, nor stops for anyone, and it bends it’s will to only our creator. What are you doing with the time given to you? One day we will return to the dust in which we were created. We cannot fight our expiration date. We may be able to extend life, or even push death back a little, but even those things are predestined by a Holy God. My open-heart surgery did not take God by surprise, and it is not lost on me that given this happened 30 years ago, I would likely have died. I was predestined to experience everything over the last few weeks, and how I handled them, do my actions highlight Christ, yes, or no? This is the biggest question I must answer for. Am I showing, and sharing love? Are people my focus, or is it other things? All these things I will answer for, along with my sins upon the day of judgment. Today is not the day I die, but perhaps, it’s the day I die to myself. Scripture tells us to die to one’s self, pick up thine cross and follow Christ. Carry that cross for all the world to see. Let the world know that you die to yourself, allowing the Holy Spirit to dwell inside you. Bringing your soul to life from the dead man/woman, you were. Being born again, and realizing the true bondage is that of sin, and that through sin, the world has a hold on you. The world tells you a load of lies, and we live according to them. What it means to be successful, to be beautiful, to be liked, or respected, but the biblical replies do not match with that of the world. Following Christ means we live different, we look different, we act different, we become different then the world. Our priorities change, and with that change, our relationships begin to change. Let us never forget why we are to love, and let us never forget what it means to love. Love is to lay down ones life for a friend. Love is to love like Christ loved and died for the church. Love is to be patient and kind, never jealous, never bragging or being arrogant. It never acts unbecomingly, and does not seek to lift up ones self, but lifting up others. It is not provoking, nor is it provoked. It does not keep track of the wrongs done, but washes away the wrong as our sins are washed away as if the slate was made new. Love, loves and rejoices in the truth, as it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails. Do we truly have the guile to say we love others like this? Many cannot say they truly love their own spouses like this. Yet, this is what we are called to do. This is how scripture defines love. This is the love we are called to love one another and our enemies, yet the smallest argument ends friendships. We face an enemy that is crafty like no other, and he wants to destroy you, to break you, to separate you, and ultimately, to devour your spirit, separating you from God. Satan uses time as his ally, and a weapon against humanity. While he cannot control time and space, he can entice us to forsake friends and family, and ignore our responsibilities. Sadly, we allow this to happen time and time again. 

I hope you read this and you find the time for old friends, and existing ones. I hope you find the time for your family, your spouse, your kids, but most importantly, that you find the time for God. My prayer is that you will seek God daily, and you give God the time He deserves. I pray you let go of worldly things that do little for your life, but does a lot to pull you away from important things. I’m not saying it isn’t okay to have hobbies like bowling, or fishing, hunting, or other things, but use those things to grow your relationships, or use those things to grow closer to God. While you’re fishing do you talk with God? While your bowling, do you share Jesus with your team, or the team next to you? While your kids are at soccer, do you let Jesus flow from your behavior? Let us use the time we have better. Let us continue to seek Jesus, and then share Jesus. Let us love others like we are truly called to love one another. Let us remember who the true enemy is, and focus on preparing for battle, because make no mistake, the next battle is right around the corner. Those who do not prepare, will be unequipped to handle it. We must be ready to fight, to hold fast, and know the word, so when the temptation comes, you can be ready with the word of God. Whole Armor of God, a soldier ready for the battle and never out of the fight. We fight till the day the Lord calls us home. Till that day comes, may God bless you, and may the Holy Spirit fill you, and let your cup fillith over.  

For more Content follow at Youtube:

https://youtube.com/@thearrowpreacher6920?si=wvVC80iHWsSSkRY1