The Fall

The Fall

I have recently discovered something about people that was once just a theory, now, I find proof to prove what I’ve long since known. The depraved sin nature of mankind is cyclical in nature. “Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.” John Adams. Without the moral compass of a society, the constitution would be folly, just as the Bible itself is folly and foolish to simple men who care not for the sovereignty of God. There is a failing of a society when they stray from the commands of God in search of their own moral folly. “Moral Relativism: the philosophical view that moral judgments are not absolute or universal, but are true or false only relative to a specific cultural, historical, or individual standpoint.” Today, as the shifting tide begins to swallow us whole, we have ventured into dangerous peril where a once proud and beautiful land has fallen into chaos, a land free from morals and lawlessness. 

We have watched as society has dwindled in the wrong direction. I am reminded of Tolkien’s writings, the dark shadow of Mordor spreads across the land, covering it in darkness. Today, we have abandoned reason for madness. I have personally witnessed as boys approach a disagreement with nothing but invective language, ad hominem, vitriolic, bullies. They disagree, but instead of offering any argument, or evidence, they skip all of it to name call, ridicule, and insult. A feeble attempt at showing strength through intimidation, but when you used to get shot at as part of your job, these foolish thugs don’t rise that to any level close to the actual attempts on my life. If the Spirit is within you, we are not governed by fear. This behavior is not something one would expect in civilized culture. Simply put, our culture is no longer civilized. When Gandalf is speaking with Saruman, Saruman tells him they cannot stand against the might of Mordor. Gandalf cannot believe what he’s hearing. The once great wise counsel has fallen. Today we witness events that are beyond comprehension. We celebrate a woman who murders her three children in cold blood. We celebrate the death of babies in the womb. We celebrate mentally ill individuals grooming children with their deranged ideologies. We criminalize those who would seek to protect themselves from harm. We call good evil, and evil good. We label anyone who wishes to believe in God an extremist. We lift up those who support terrorism to be leaders, and celebrate as a nation’s history is erased and flounders, leaderless. 

In recent news, we have the Cornell controversy, and all of the arguments aside, people are condemning sides before the investigation is complete. The internet has condemned the men before knowing the truth. Many people have approached me via social media over the last few weeks. In that time, I have faced death threats, insults, ridicule, and people trying to shame me, simply for having a differing view or opinion than theirs. One thing that has been the same for most of the near 800 comments was the approach, the way in which the comments were made. Only one comment was willing to attempt even a little discussion, but the moment I pointed out their comment was missing context the truth came forward, “you and your conservative context (expletive).” They did not care that without context anyone can be called anything. Five were death threats, several more were calls for me to come to harm, but the rest of those 800 were just insults. How far we’ve come when grown men act like middle school children name calling on the playground. The similarities in my channel and those of the Cornell scandal is opinionated, emotional responses of people. They react out of emotion and feel how media tells them to feel, they repeat what they hear, but never do an ounce of research or critical thinking of their own, and then lash out on social media. We seem to have devolved into a place within our society that if someone disagrees, they are somehow less than human, do not deserve respect, or not worth life at all. Truly, it seems we have allowed media, and those in the government to sway us, change our moral code to look down upon those whom we disagree with. Today, we are moving to a place where the voting ballot is no longer simply tax code, but a moral standard. Today we can see a clear difference in the parties, the divide within our country that is widening. Today, the democrat party believes in abortion, transgender rights which encompasses gender affirming care for minors, which is actually just body mutilation of children. They believe in equity, everyone should get the same regardless of the work they put in, (socialism). They believe in illegal immigration, because no one is illegal on stolen land. Not settled land, or conquered land, but stolen. They believe in gun confiscation, and they want to stop voter ID laws. They want universal healthcare. They believe in wokeness, and feminism. More than anything, much of what they believe in, and how they implement those beliefs show an undeniable hypocrisy. I will point out some of that hypocrisy here. They want all things equal, but have started segregation projects in college. They don’t believe in borders but have created zones like CHAZ the capitol hill autonomous zone. They wouldn’t allow police and after multiple people shot a state of emergency was filed. These types of incidences have occurred in multiple places. Obama’s new library which has largely been considered to be a failure, requires ID to enter, but the left does not want ID to vote. The left says it’s too difficult for women or black Americans to get government ID’s. But the reality is they all have ID’s, and it’s incredibly racist to say they are incapable of doing it. We need ID to do everything, to buy goods, to travel, to drive, to get a library card, but to vote they have now said the quiet part out loud. They can’t win without the illegal vote. Former President Obama said Republicans are trying to ‘rig’ elections in a speech that could be seen on “The Washington Post.” Chuck Schumer said the save act was Jim Crow 2.0, except it can’t be Jim Crow laws since illegal aliens don’t have the right to vote anyway. But let’s think about this critically, who let these illegal aliens into the country? Who wants to pass sweeping amnesty and fast track these aliens to citizenship? If these people who were allowed in gain the right to vote, it’s likely they would vote left. The problem is the majority of people who’ve come into the country are military age males. It looks more like invasion than assimilation. It’s not just happening in the United States, but we can see what’s happening in England right now for doing the same thing. England is our preview of things to come.  THEY want universal healthcare like Canada, but when you look into Canada’s healthcare system it’s largely considered to be a failure. MAID in Canada took more lives that firearm homicides in the US, and there’s a very large population difference.

Gun Confiscation: The left has long wanted to remove guns from the hands of citizens. Why should this concern every American? Guns were the check in the balance of power within this country. To provide a well-regulated militia to ensure the government would never overreach its power. From what we know of God’s Holy Scripture, the people, Christians, should be very concerned about big government. Scripture says the government is there to protect the people from outside threats, and to carry out justice. Romans 13:1-4 “13 Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God. 2 Therefore whoever resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God; and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves. 3 For rulers are not a cause of fear for good behavior, but for evil. Do you want to have no fear of authority? Do what is good and you will have praise from the same; 4 for it is a minister of God to you for good. But if you do what is evil, be afraid; for it does not bear the sword for nothing; for it is a minister of God, an avenger who brings wrath on the one who practices evil.” Government should be small, not a large unchecked animal. Let’s look at Revelation for a moment. In the book of Revelation scripture talks about the Anti-Christ gaining world power, placing the world under a single government and economic system. Today, there are many countries contemplating this very thing, only, they don’t realize they may do exactly what Satan wants them to do… Or maybe they do. What’s the number one thing you hear from the democrats? Ban the big scary assault rifle. Let’s talk about how big and scary it actually is. In 2023, the total number of homicides in the county were 19,252, by the FBI data. Of that, 461 were rifles, 176 shotguns, 8163 Handguns, and knives and other cutting instruments is 1630. Hands/Feet/ Etc. is 744. When looking at the rifles, this is every rifle in that category, not the big and scary AR-15. (CDE.UCR.CJIS.GOV) So, assuming these numbers are true and accurate, which they most certainly are, we are talking about banning the most popular rifle in America based on less than 500 deaths a year? If they actually cared about saving lives, why is there not a single ounce of discussion to curb alcohol or vehicle deaths? We do not put restrictions on cars based on the amount of vehicle deaths per year. We do not place stronger restrictions on doctors who commit medical malpractice; 44000-250,000 people. We do not restrict alcohol even though alcohol kills approximately 178,000 people per year in the U.S. alone. You are more than twice as likely to be killed by someone with a knife than you are a rifle. Let me say this, any death, it doesn’t matter the means in which they die, is tragic. Life is a precious community, one that we cannot duplicate, or even preserve. Once it’s gone, it’s gone forever (within our plane of existence). Why would the government be trying so hard to get rid of something so insignificant in the grand scheme of things? Control is the only reasonable, logical answer. I spoke more in depth about the 2ndAmendment and why it needs to be protected in another blog. https://thearrowpreacher.com/2026/05/03/the-2nd-amendment-and-why-its-important/  If the government truly cared about saving lives, it would most certainly focus on the much higher areas of deaths, rather than one of the lowest. 

The government only wants to remove objects it deems a threat to its own interests. We should never trust the government. Governments can be and do become corrupt over time. Our government let over a million people cross into our country, unvetted, not invited, and these people were not intending to assimilate to the American way of life. These people have latched on like a parasite draining the host of its resources. We are paying billions in illegal alien benefits a year. Americans feel the pinch when spending goes to this type of incidents. When I was in Iraq, we would do missions to the Kurdish refugee camp. We would take supplies, and toys, blankets, medical supplies, and yet, we would still get attacked while there. This country often puts the needs of others ahead of its own welfare. The United States gives to more countries than any other country in the world. We pay the majority of the NATO budget, and we have been taxed with higher tariffs from Canada for years. We help as many countries as we can, we accept visas and citizenship, we allow people to come here to work, and go to school. This is more than most countries do, and yet we are expected to take in the third world without knowing who these people are or what they want. We see what they want, invasion over assimilation. I am reminded of the Borg. In Star Trek the Borg assimilate cultures to serve the Borg collective. That drone became a working part of the collective with a single goal in mind. Every bit of its individuality was removed however. But at least there was total assimilation. We aren’t seeing any kind of want to assimilate. They still fly the flag of the place they left. They bring their lifestyles with them of rape and murder of innocent women and children. We see this on display in England right now. We have seen how many illegal aliens are harming American Citizens, it’s very alarming. The government, or at least half of it, wants these people to come here and vote Democrat so they can keep power. Let me let you in a little secret, (We lose). We will lose our country to the socialism train eventually. We have to lose in order for Revelation to be true. I’m not saying we shouldn’t fight this, of course we should, but what I don’t want is for you to lose sight of what’s important, and to lose hope. Jesus Christ is our hope, not big government. They cannot save you, but Jesus can. We cannot continue to ignore the true blight on our nation, and that’s the Marxist, left, woke, ideology killing our country. The left wants women to stop having babies. The left wants women to be subservient to men. Even though the left talks about feminism, and talks down to and bad about men, at the same time, in the same breath, they say men can be women, and can play in their sports, and if you are a young lady and don’t want men in your locker room, you’re transphobic. The left has gone after the nuclear family for generations now. The left has systematically been destroying the once beautiful black culture. Before the civil rights movement, black people were doing very well. They had great homes, great families, entire cities that were thriving. Then the democrats came to destroy that way of life. Social programs were created that promised government assistance, but there couldn’t be a man in the home. So, men were pushed out. After a little time with no men in the home, culture began to shift. Today we don’t see the black community dress as they once did, they don’t speak as they once did, in fact, the black education as a whole has dramatically declined since the 1960’s. The black on black crime is staggering, and the amount of abortions committed by the black community far out paces white and hispanic women. Today’s literacy rate of the black community is 88%. Depending on the current test that number is between 12-23% of illiteracy, compared to white people of around 90%. Today roughly 69-70% of 4th graders do not read at proficient grade level. 37-40% perform below grade level entirely. Charlie Kirk is called a racist for pointing out this fact, even though he argued we should judge solely on merit which is what Martin Luther King Jr. advocated for. King would not want CRT taught in schools. He wouldn’t want black people to be racist towards whites, or any other direction for that matter. Kirk’s statement about the black pilot raised a lot of controversy because people took his statement out of context. When DEI is put into practice and a company must have a percentage of Black, Asian, and Hispanic people, instead of merit-based hires, what happens nearly every time is the standards are lowered to hit those hire numbers. So, for a black pilot, did they meet a lower standard, or the highest standards possible? The same goes for a doctor, or any other job. When we lower the standards to ensure equal outcomes, it’s the person on the other end of the stick that’s at risk. If it’s a doctor, it could be a patient at the end of a scalpel. We know this has happened, we know it does happen, the question is how do we as a passenger on a plane know our pilot is qualified and the best person for the job? How do we know that pilot is truly the most qualified to fly hundreds of souls? We don’t. But the fact is, it’s a dangerous premise, one only someone who is on the receiving end of an unqualified person would feel the true weight of. Once we start to base our hires off of race, rather than merit, we’ve enacted bias, and racism. Those who claim to fight racism the loudest are the ones perpetrating it the most. The problem is, they just don’t recognize it. Charlie had many black friends, and they went with him on his tours. This isn’t the mark of someone racist. For that matter, Trump employs a lot of black people, and has a history of helping the black community without broadcasting it to the world. Trump was everyone’s guy in the 90’s and early 2000’s. He was on the sitcoms, he was on Oprah, he was constantly interviewed and loved by the left, till he ran as a Republican. What changed? Did Trump change? No, the Democrats did. Why did Chuck Norris leave the Democrat party? He left because it changed. In an interview Norris explained the shift of the Democrat party. The Republicans have moved left, and Democrats have moved ‘too far off the trail.” Today the Democrat party aligns itself with Islam, and socialism, both together may lead us directly to the one world order that may be the end of the world. We must fight for freedom, and we need to do it by voting. We must protect our way of life, because at the end of the day, those who are trying to take over have admitted to wanting to destroy the western way of life. They want to tear it down. As an American, why would you want your life to look like that of the middle east? They have not innovated, they have not mastered basic things like government, and yet, this is who we want to usher in a new era for the United States? Christians built this country, and they didn’t build it to hand it over to someone who would kill Christians just for being Christian. Christians freed the slaves, pushed for equality, the abolitionists, many of whom were devout Christians. Today people float the term Christian Nationalist, while not having an understanding of what that means. A Christian can be a Christian, can love their nation and want what’s best for it, without being a Christian Nationalist. However, trying to maintain the founder’s foundation, keeping in line with the moral framework of our nation, which was built for Christians, by many Christians and God-fearing men, Christian Nationalist isn’t far off from the desire to stop the nation from falling into the hands of socialists, and Islamists. There is a second definition of Christian Nationalist that doesn’t fit for most nation loving Christians, and that’s “differing from mainstream Christian faith or personal religious practice by seeking political privilege and power for a specific religious identity.” Christians merely want the country to stay true to what made this country great, what this country was built on, and what made it to be the country everyone wants to come too. This land, a land of opportunity which gives those who want a better life the chance to work hard and make something great. Anything worth having is worth working hard for. If someone is given something all their life, they often don’t respect it. Cars for example; if someone is given care after car, and they never bought it themselves with their own hard earned cash, they often don’t respect it, and don’t respect the hard work it took to pay for it. 

We cannot expect to maintain our country’s heritage if people are intent on tearing down reminders of the good and bad things this country has done. We cannot be the melting pot if the new people coming here refuse to assimilate to the American way of life. We cannot expect to survive Satan’s attacks if we allow every manner of evil to run freely in the streets. We cannot expect to thrive if criminals break laws and prisons are closed keeping them firmly in our neighborhoods. Murderers, rapists, drug dealers, extortionists, morally corrupt people flood our communities now, and the once moral people, have become corrupted, ignorant simpletons that no longer see right from wrong, as the principle of moral relativism now holds sway over many. People bully, they lie, they threaten, they insult, and so few actually have the mental capacity to hold a legitimate debate. People today are so full of hate, anger, and rage, their path is darkness. “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. (Yoda)” We are well past hate now. People today are quick to violence once they’ve hit their limit of mental capacity. I’ve seen video after video of a debate quickly devolving and ending in the liberal attacking the conservative, while the conservative remained calm, and respectful. Yes, I know not all conservatives are decent people either, but there is definitely a one-sided percentage of this position of trying to talk and those of resorting to violence. Liberals want socialism, Islamism, to destroy the nuclear family, to dissolve the biblical moral principles our nation was founded upon. The sad part is, if the Islamists do take power, the first people they will destroy are the liberals that helped them take power. Just like they’ve done in China, Iran, Russia, once the revolution is over, the liberals who allowed suicidal empathy to blind them, will be removed for having diametrically opposed positions and beliefs. I pray it isn’t too late and people wake up before the damage is done irreparably. We must maintain the 2nd amendment. We must protect the other amendments to insure the founders hope of “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness” remains a dream and a goal for every American. We must maintain our elections by ensuring only citizens have the right to vote. We must turn to scripture, and stop looking at scripture through the lens of the world, but rather the world through the lens of Scripture. I said recently “If you look to scripture and disagree with it, you’re the one that’s wrong.” I heard that and had to use it. As more and more people attack me, ridicule me, hate me, and wish death upon me, I am left with an undeniable thought, “It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do, that defines me.” (Batman Begins) I must continue to stand up and speak the truth. I must live what I preach, and pray for peace, all the while preparing for battle. All those people that have said what they said shows the type of person they are, and do not represent who I am. I have never called for violence. I have called for peaceful conversation. I have called for the showing of, the showering of love to all. I have called to share biblical truth, but that is my freedom of religion, and freedom of speech displayed. I have been called a nutjob with a gun. I have been called racist, even though I’ve had black friends my whole life. I’ve been called a white supremacist even though I speak out against the KKK and other organizations that spread hateful messages. I have been called ‘meal team six’. I have been called a chud, and a LARPER. I’ve been called a lot of things. No matter what happens, I know God’s will, will be done. I know we must pray and seek God first before anything else. We must know Biblical truth and stand firmly on the foundation of the Church Jesus built. We must be a good spouse, a good Bride of Christ. We must remain steadfast, and focused on the mission God has given to us. We must protect ourselves, and those who cannot protect themselves. We must continue to fight the good fight, and never stop doing the Lord’s work. We must continue to serve our communities, and never give up. There may come a day when the strength of men may fail, but that is not this day. Let us remember, “But where; say some, is the King of America? I’ll tell you, friend, He reigns above.” (Thomas Paine) “The sacred rights of mankind are not to be rummaged for, among old parchments, or musty records. They are written, as with a sun beam, in the whole volume of human nature, by the hand of the divinity itself; and can never be erased or obscured by mortal power.” (Alexander Hamilton) Let me share a few words from our first President and Abolitionist George Washington, “Let us with caution indulge the supposition that morality can be maintained without religion… reason and experience both forbid us to expect that national morality can prevail in exclusion of religious principle.” When you have no true moral compass, and you change the rules every few years, George Washington was right, it is foolish to think a country can remain moral, without religion, and since George Washington was Christian, he was referring to Christianity. Knowing the past, and who truly founded our nation, is why I am a constitutionalist. I believe in the constitution and it representing the Christian faith. We have fallen far from that of what our founding fathers intended, and I do pray, one day, we will get back to the mindset that built this nation from the ground up. “Resistance to tyranny becomes the Christian and social duty of each individual… Continue steadfast and, with a proper sense of your dependence on God, nobly defend those rights which heaven gave, and no man ought to take from us.” (John Hancock) And lastly, “Give me liberty, or give me death.” (Patrick Henry. We must be willing to lay down our lives if the fight comes to us, to protect what has been entrusted to us. I pray for peace, but prepare and train my fingers for battle. We do not battle against flesh and blood, we battle against the prince the powers of the air, we battle against an invisible yet albeit real enemy, Satan. He has blinded this once lit country on a hill, and has corrupted it. Our battlefield must be on our knees. We must pray, pray for our nation, pray for its people to have revival and seek Jesus with everything they are. We cannot let Satan have our children, and destroy our future generations. He’s taken over like a plague, and we must fight back. Stand against lies, and know that the only “TRUTH” that matters are that of Holy Scripture, the Bible. 

Go In Peace, Go In Love, Go In Kindness, Live Long And Prosper. 

Citation: 

https://cde.ucr.cjis.gov/LATEST/webapp/#/pages/explorer/crime/shr

Be The Lion

Be The Lion:

It took me a long time to be able to find my faith, the faith that Jesus called and calls us too. While in truth, I have to be honest, the last several months have been in some ways, the hardest I’ve experienced in my life. 10 months ago (from the writing of this publication) I had open heart, aorta reconstructive surgery. My aorta was replaced from the root, to the stem, to include the valve, which is now artificial. The recovery time has been long, and difficult is not a strong enough word to describe the challenges I’ve faced. The physical recovery has only been a small portion of the recuperation. Mental health has always been an uphill battle for me. When I joined the military, I was told up front by many who knew me best, that I would fail. When I was a couple months into my training, I caught MRSA. It nearly killed me because of how quick it spread. I swore I wasn’t going to let that be the end of me, and I fought. Unfortunately, I missed vital training, and was recycled one rotation. I pushed myself, and after a long 25k ruck, hurting, my ruck cutting off the circulation in my left arm, I turned the corner, and there it was, freedom. I had accomplished what many thought I couldn’t. Not only would I graduate but I’d do so with my head held high and achieve what many could not. I would perform my duties well, and with honor and distinction till a training accident caused my career to end prematurely. I ended my career voluntarily and on my own terms, with the hand I was dealt, but not before a successful posting in Korea, a deployment to Iraq, and continued service in Colorado. With everything I’ve gone through and been handed to me, the undeniable truth remains, God is GOOD. 

         Faith is built on the trust of who Jesus is. The truth that He Himself claimed, that He is “The Way The Truth and The Life, and No One Gets To the Father Except Through Him.” The linchpin of Christianity is just that, was Jesus who he claimed to be? The answer, in emphatically yes. This is what gives a Christian his strength. The Lord chose his soldiers before the foundations of the earth. Jesus told us that we would face trials in this life, but to take heart that He overcame the world. We do not store up treasures in this life, but in Heaven. We face these trails as Job faced his. On our knees, in prayer to the Lord of all creation. Does this mean in this life we do not despair, or weep? No. Jesus wept (John 11:35) for the sin that befell upon the perfection of creation. The untold sorrow of sin over our lives, and the destruction that sin brings to the lives of those of us still alive in the realm of time. We cannot let fear dictate terms, when we are told we were given a spirit of courage, not fear (2 Tim 1:7)

         Feelings of despair come to all who walk this world. Struggle is the life of a soldier. No matter how hard we fight, we will always face the bitter truth, life is full of heartache, disappointment, and pain. Why would God allow such things? God is not the author of evil, pride, and sin, is the author of evil. Satan, began his rebellion, believing the created was more powerful than the creator. The lie that fell to Eve was the same, “you can be like God.” Eve, seemingly without hesitation took of the fruit, then gave it to Adam. Their eyes opened, and they knew of evil. Who is the enemy? The enemy is crafty, and has been described as a great many things. A lion waiting to devour you. The father of lies. The accuser.  The great deceiver. The Dragon. This is our adversary, whom we are called to battle against. The enemy spreads lie after lie, and tries to convince us things we are not. Things like, worthless, failure, broken, you’re alone, you’re not good enough. We wage war against an enemy we cannot see. Having been a soldier in combat, I understand all too well the deceptive nature of the enemy. In Iraq we rarely saw our enemy. They hid in the shadows, using deception, and cover to attack, and detonate explosives without ever being seen. How can someone fight what they can’t see? We are called to resist Satan, and only because of the blood of Christ do we stand a chance to be able to hold our ground in the face of overwhelming odds. Satan when he fell, he took a third of the angels with him (Rev 12:4). Our enemy is trained in the art of deception and lies, perfect beings corrupted by pride and sin. An invisible enemy bent on destroying the creation of God. The Armor of God shrouds us, equips us for battle (Eph 6:10-18). What the armor doesn’t do is prepare us. For that, we need the word of God, and the word of God being the sword, does nothing if we don’t use it, learn from it, and grow closer to the God that wrote it. We cannot fight an enemy we don’t understand. We cannot fight an enemy that knows the word of God better than we do. Our enemy has been in the presence of God, and knows us perhaps better than we know ourselves. While he cannot implant thoughts, he can whisper in our ears. Satan can bring untold horrors down upon our lives, and feed us the lie that it’s God that hates us, God that brings these horrors and tragedies into our lives. Satan tells us that God is the author of all our troubles. I have stated and written before that if we do not train our minds, and our souls for battle, the Devil will increase that advantage over us, and win the day. We must realize one thing, scripture and the Holy Spirit on our side are force multipliers that gives us all what we need to win the day. We do not actually fight Satan, but rather resist his attacks. We dig in, the armor covering our mind, our heart, girded for battle, the sandals dug into the dirt, shield protecting us from the flaming arrows from the enemy, and the Sword of God’s Holy Word raised high, unleashing a battle cry heard in the Heavens, “Jesus Is KING”. The undeniable fact is this, if Jesus is the Lion of Judah, and we are little Christ, then there’s a lion within us as well. We must learn to harness the power within us, and dig deep, and face tomorrow with courage and dignity. 

         God has shown us what He will do to fight for His chosen people. In story after story in scripture we see God’s people overcoming incredible odds and emerging victorious. Moses fleeing through the Red Sea. Gideon fought for God. David took down Goliath with a sling and a stone. There is a lion within us waiting to be awoken. I have struggled for a while, believing I was anything more than garbage, a waist of space. I have questioned why God would save my life in such an obvious way; a miracle multiplied. My story of survival holds too many coincidences to be coincidence. In 2016 God spoke to me while I was bleeding out in the back of an ambulance. While in a pitch black void, I said “God I’m sorry!” In reply God said “You’re forgiven” and I snapped awake in the ambulance, where I was believed to give give up the ghost any minute. Instead, God breathed life into me, sending a shock wave through my body. Note: I had not coded and thus what I experienced was not the defibrillator. Early 2024, I found out I had a hernia, somewhere around March. By July, on the last day of VBS (Vacation Bible School), one of the youths of the church challenged me to a race. God, it seems, removed every ounce of caution and I raced the kid. Aside from the pride of winning the race, it came at a cost. The next day I couldn’t walk, as one of the two hernias bulged. This sent me to surgery in October, and the day after that surgery I was back in the hospital from the Gas migrating to my shoulder. A CT was called for, and while it was confirmed Gas was indeed the culprit, a time bomb was found, ticking away. My aorta was ready to explode. A birth defect left me at the mercy of time, and my aorta was well beyond the limit for surgery. I had emergency surgery, which led to heart block, which led to the pacemaker. Months of setbacks, and therapy, have left me with scars both physical and emotional. I have scars deep into my soul and the Devil has used every dirty tactic and trick in the book to continue his assault on me. I have spoken recently how I have wondered if my choosing the heart surgery was indeed the correct course of action. I have wondered if it would have been better for me to let time run out whenever the clock hit zero, I’d go home. The devil has used so much of my past to convince me I am not worth anything. I have questioned and wondered if the pain I’ve been feeling since surgery has been putting myself through an untold number of years left on my timer, an unnecessary amount of trouble I brought upon myself. The devil has convinced me that it isn’t worth it, that I should have lived out the rest of my days, and gone home. The devil got me to forget one of my favorite quotes of unknown origins, “My hope is that when I die, all of hell rejoices that I am out of the fight.” (The internet says C.S. Lewis said this, but that is unconfirmed.) The trusting of God’s plan is where I have to hold my ground. The last thing I want to be is a sheep being led to the slaughter. How can I protect my family if I can’t protect myself? God does nothing by accident, and while I don’t know why God has spared my life over the years, I know one thing, God has a purpose. I don’t expect the world around me to become fairy tales and unicorns. I expect the battle to continue to rage on. There must be peace of mind, and I must have my head in the game if I am going to continue to be a gears up, high speed, locked and loaded, and good to go as a soldier for the Lord. 

         A lion is what I must be. I have to keep my head on a swivel, and trust that no matter where the Lord sends me, or the mission ahead of me, He prepares my hands for battle. Scripture gives us this, 2 Timothy 2:3-4 “3 Suffer hardship with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier in active service entangles himself in the affairs of everyday life, so that he may please the one who enlisted him as a soldier.” We are citizens of Heaven, ambassadors, soldiers on foreign territory. 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, 4 for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. 5 We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” Our fight, summed up in a single verse. Our adversary seeks to destroy us, to pull us away from our Heavenly Father. Satan seeks to divide us from our brothers and sisters in Christ, and it’s this reason we must once again turn to scripture. 1 Peter 1:13 13 “Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” As a soldier we train as we fight. We train by repetition, getting better with each passing day. As a soldier we train to be proficient with many weapons, the M4, knives, machine guns, heavy weapons and vehicle’s, radios, and more. We do this by hours and days of practice and training. Likewise, we must be in scripture daily. We must not just read scripture, but study it, and become proficient with the Word of God. We must train our minds in this war against Satan, the same way we soldiers train in the military. In the military we have a saying that sheep dogs protect the flock. We soldiers for Christ must be the sheep dogs. Lions are apex predators, top of the food chain, we too must realize, while we are not lions by ourselves, our Lord and Savior is the creator of the food chain. Our battles must be fought with the remembrance that the blood of Christ signifies a violent death. A death that Jesus laid down his life so He may give His life, to raise it up again, and the greatest of all miracles, to save us, to turn our dead hearts into alive beating hearts for the Lord. While we are here fighting this fight, for the short time in this plain of existence, we must remember that if “God is for us, who then can be against us?” (Rom 8:31) The Lion of Judah is on our side in this fight, we have nothing to fear. The roll of a soldier is to fight for the one that sends you. While I’m not saying the fight is easy, nor am I saying I have it all together, the fight is the most important thing we’ll ever do after we give our lives to Christ. 

         Depression has gripped me hard over the last several months. With my service dog in her last days, the isolation, the physical pains I’ve endured, have all left me wondering how long till I am out of the valley, and I am laying near a peaceful stream. I cannot say what God’s plan is for me, nor can I say what God’s plan is for you, but I know that we cannot gain one single moment in our life by worrying about it. We cannot worry for tomorrow, for it will worry for itself (Matt 6:34). Our life is but a vapor, here one moment and gone the next (James 4:14) and it’s our duty to use the time we have wisely. We fight the good fight, for the men and women, the children that do not know Christ. We fight for those whom we fight alongside. We face the demons in the dark, and we light up the darkness by spreading the light of Christ. We will run the race with endurance (Heb 12:1), and we will dig in and hold the line when things get hard. I know what it’s like to feel the waves crash around you. I know what it likes to hurt and be hurt by people I loved. I know what it’s like to experience the horrors of war, and it’s because of these, that I believe I see the world a little different. We must be the warriors Christ called you to be. Be the lion, the apex predator that stands its ground, and protects the pride. My struggles recently have beaten me to the ground, and while I feel broken, and bloody, and in some ways, I am broken and bloody, Jesus, I know will continue to use me. In other ways I have not a single clue what it could be, but I know that I have to trust in the Lord, even if I don’t know what He’s doing. I hurt, and my losses in the last year, to include the recent death of my brother have left me broken hearted, and beaten to the ground. If my life does not return like a phoenix rising from the ashes, I know that while we may suffer but a little while, Heaven is eternal. We were given a promise that heaven would remove the tears, remove the pain, and in reality, to quote a famous song “The only scars in Heaven, they won’t belong to me and you” (Scars in heaven : Casting Crowns). We must remain strong in the midst of battle, never quit, and never surrender. I am trying my hardest to live my life in a manner pleasing the King. Recent events have broken me down and backed me into a corner. The writing of this post is more for myself, reminding myself that Jesus is Lord, Jesus is the commander and chief over the Host of Angels, and we play a part in this war as soldiers, ambassadors, evangelists, and more. Whenever the Lord calls me home, I am ready. When the Lord calls me home, I pray I hear “Well done, my good and faithful son.” I’ve lived my life seeking the favor of the Lord, and I can only hope I’ve done well, not that we are saved by works, merely that my service pleased the Lord. Time is short, and we never know when we may lose a loved one, but while losing a loved one is tragic; we must not lose ourselves in the process. We must fight the same way we give our lives to the Lord, with all our heart, mind, and soul. Seek first the kingdom of God (Mt 6:33), and no matter what we eat or drink, do all things for the glory of the Lord. (1 Cor 10:31) Go in peace, go in love, this is the way. 

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