One Month Later 

One Month Later 

It’s been a month since my open-heart surgery. Not yet a month for the pacemaker, but we’re coming up on that in a week. I can’t say with honesty that the recovery has gone very well. With the initial severe pain in my neck and shoulders, then the pacemaker, and the severe pain in the left shoulder, then the infection, the pain from the lead left behind over my stomach, it’s been difficult. The drive home from the hospital was marred with trouble, when the car broke down smoking. This later cost me almost three thousand dollars to repair, funds I don’t have. Even now I’m still on antibiotics fighting an infection. After getting home I started to sleep in the recliner, because I could get in and out easier than a bed. Then there was a problem with the fireplace chimney, which only just got fixed yesterday the 20th. Now, were finding the heater isn’t quite as efficient as consumers are led to believe. The amount of pellets it takes in just a few hours is staggering. So much so, that in the middle of the night, I woke to 30* temperatures, because the heater ran out of pellets. Let us not forget the sprained ankle from walking laps in the house without shoes. Let’s say the recovery, and rest I was hoping for has been far off from me. If I had to take a guess, I’d say Satan was playing with me, causing issues to see what I’d do. Am I as strong as I say? Where is my breaking point? To be honest, I don’t know. I’d like to think I’m strong, but I know my flesh is often weak. To say I have not been frustrated would be to speak falsely. I have struggled with my cough, with my limitations of not being able to take care of myself. It’s not an easy thing to go from independent, to dependent overnight. It’s also a difficult thing when you are in chronic pain after surgery for a long period of time. While I have hopes that this pain will eventually dissipate, in the back of my mind, I am preparing myself for the possibility it does not go away and get better. Right now, simple things like walking, hurt my shoulder. If walking hurts, how will I go hiking, or photography, or lightsaber dueling? Will I be able to work around the house without having pain in my shoulder and chest? I already have to deal with the cervical spine pain I often feel, adding to it would be fairly miserable.

Jesus tells us to take heart, that He has overcome the world, and in this life we would have troubles, but to know there is better for us. I know that I will endure troubles, even if it’s not in the way of religious persecution, I know there will be difficult waters ahead. A few months ago I wrote this “Many years ago, the dark nearly took me. I fell overboard when a rogue wave hit the ship so hard it jeered and I flew overboard. I thought for sure the waters would take me, but somehow, the Captain dove in and pulled me up. He said, ‘Your sailing days aren’t done yet.’ No more words were ever spoken about it, but I knew the Captain saw something in me that day. Didn’t have to risk Himself for me, but ever since, it’s felt like He’s kept a special eye on me.” (The Best Captain, The Arrow Preacher, May 28,2024: https://thearrowpreacher.com/2024/05/28/the-best-captain/ ) 

I went on to say “He replied, “I am who I am. I am the way, the truth the life. I am the alpha and the omega. I am the Good Shepherd whom you’ve heard my voice. I am the Lion, and the Lamb. I am Emmanuel, I am Jesus, your Captain. And I’ve got you. Trust in me, and I will see you through to the end of the age, when I welcome you home, when we reach the shores of my Kingdom. You will then have rest. Till then, we’ve got work to do.” ((The Best Captain, The Arrow Preacher, May 28,2024: https://thearrowpreacher.com/2024/05/28/the-best-captain/ )

We must take each day as a gift, and while things may not be smooth sailing, trust that Jesus is still in control. He’s still at the right hand of the father interceding on your behalf, on my behalf. Satan is the real enemy, and he very much wants to destroy you, and damage your relationship with the father. What better way to make you so comfortable that you would give up Jesus for your comfort. Satan gives those what their heart desires, and sometimes God allows you to have what you truly want, and it looks like, and taste like the world. This is the only happiness some people will ever have, and they trade eternity, for comfort in this life. Would you still praise God with a gun to your head in an African country where the rebels seek to kill all Christians? Some people should think long and hard about where they truly place their heart. Me, as I said recently, I’m ready to go meet Jesus, but I know He’s kept me on earth for a purpose, and I’ll continue to fight the fight as His soldier, till the day I am called home.

Life is not easy, and it’s not meant to be easy. Jesus tells us it’s only by the narrow way, and few would enter it, to find salvation. The sad reality is not everyone will be saved, because they chose to follow their hearts flesh desires, and remain dead on the inside. They do not hear the calling of Jesus. What is it Jesus says? On that day many will come to me saying Lord, Lord, have we not prophesized in your name, and cast out demons in your name, done many works in your name? And Jesus replies, depart from me, you who practice lawlessness, I never knew you. What is your motive for preaching Jesus? Is it so people would look at you? Is it so you would get rich? Is it so you would have an ‘easy’ life? Indeed, the first thing you should say to Jesus upon facing Him, is Lord I am not worthy to be here, please forgive me, you are most high, and holy. It should be about the Lord, because it isn’t about us, it’s about what God does through us. It’s not about your pride, or my own pride, but rather what God works through your life, so HE gets the GLORY, not you. 

God has done such a mighty work in my life, it’s hard not to talk about it. There was a plan this fall to travel to the Philippines for Christmas. Had I gone, it was very possible my aorta could have ruptured and I die. Or my valve failed, and I died. Did God spare my family and friends the hardships of my death? See, I am not afraid of dying. I’m not opposed to it, and to be rid of this broken body, that’s always in pain. I’m not opposed to being set free from this life of poverty. I know however, my family and friends would be upset if something happened to me. God has a purpose in my life, and while I don’t know what that is, I know that I am to serve Him. I have a broad idea of what He wants me to do, and in part it’s this, writing, and doing my YouTube podcast. I have a place as head of my household to continue to be the spiritual leader. I have friends I minister to, and I help them navigate life in a Godly way. I may not be rich, or famous, and I may struggle financially, and I may live in a tent, but I know as long as I’m doing the Lords work, I will remain in His blessings, and my needs will be provided for. Make no mistake, while I do live in poverty, I do live in a tent, I make very little money in this economy, I cannot buy a new car, or purchase a home, I am still richly blessed. I may not live in a mansion somewhere, but I know that I have joy in my heart, for the Lord has blessed me with the miracle of life this Christmas. Can you count your blessings in your own life? Can you see what gifts God has given to you, that you could use to glorify Him? Are you seeking God with everything you are? Or, are you lazy, and apathetic about your walk with the Lord? We must rid ourselves of the worldly distractions, and focus on the Lord. So few of us read our bibles daily. So few of us pray without ceasing. When was the last time you prayed for others, and nothing for yourself? When was the last time you told anyone about Jesus? Do you adhere to the command to fulfill the great commission? To go and make disciples of all the nations and to baptize them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit? When was the last time you messaged your ‘friend’ you haven’t spoken to or checked on in months? We each have our own gifts, and we must learn to use those gifts to share Jesus with others. Why would we want to keep silent, knowing millions of people are headed for Hell when they die? Why wouldn’t we want to do what God has told us to do, and share the Gospel, the Good News, with anyone we can. I believe we can all do better doing this. I believe we must merely ask God to give us the spirit of courage we need, and to remove the fear we experience, to give us the strength to share Jesus with others. 

I have been saved many times by God, but this last one hits different. The path laid out nearly a year ago, that led me from one incident, to another, and another, and finally to open heart surgery is more than several coincidences. Remove any one of those stepping stones, and I don’t wind up at open heart surgery, and I could easily have died. One incident may be considered coincidence, but when you stack several in a row, that becomes a statistical improbability, so logic would dictate that there is a loving God, who looks after His sheep. There is a creator that designed this universe with care, and precision. There is an intelligent designer that is:

Omnipotence: God’s power to do anything

Omniscience: God’s knowledge of everything

Omnipresence: God’s existence in every place and time

We may not understand God’s ways, but He sees the entire photo, while we only see one small piece of the mosaic. We must learn to not only to obey God’s commands, but to trust in His plan, even when we don’t understand it. I do not know God’s plan for me, other than right now, I continue what I’m doing, but I do know, the more I walk with Him, the closer I’ll get, the better off I am, and the easier I’ll hear his message for me. I need to trust that if He wants me to do something, I must be willing to hear it. I do have faith in Jesus, that no matter if I’m in the middle of the storm, or if I’m lying on a beaching next to the ocean, or if I’m in the valley fighting for my life, Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to be right there with me. I also believe that we have Angels around us, invisible to us, to help minister to us. We cannot live our lives shaking our fist to the heavens asking why all the time. We cannot spend our lives angry at God, because some how we didn’t get our way. We cannot say what is good or bad, only how we act to stimuli. We must be faithful to God, and push away our temptation to sin. We must push away our lust of the flesh, and want of earthly treasures. We cannot allow money, or things, to become idols in our lives. We must not forsake our marriages for temporary flings. We must not forsake our family for work. The list of idols is long and could go on, but I think you get the point. We are to put away all our hate, and love of the flesh, with all malice. We must focus on God, and seek first His Kingdom. Are you ready and willing to make changes in your life to better serve God? Are you willing to take a look in the mirror and acknowledge your short comings, your sins? Are you willing to seek forgiveness in those you’ve wronged? Are you willing to ask forgiveness of a Holy God, whom you’ve sinned against? We must do more than just believe in God, for even the demons believe in God. We must obey God; we must love and seek God with all we are and all we have. We must study the bible without placing yourself in the story. We must properly study the Word of God, and do what’s called exegesis, rather than Eisegesis: the practice of interpreting a text by inserting one’s own ideas, biases, or agendas into it. We must be willing to forsake all other things, if He asked it of us. What are you willing to do to serve an all mighty and holy God? At the very least, are you ready to praise and worship the king of kings, and the lord of lords? Emmanuel with us, the Lion of Judah, the Prince of Peace, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. I am grateful to have been given life, and in the midst of the storm, the hard, long road, it truly is a hard fought hallelujah. 

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The Week My Heart Stopped

The Week My Heart Stopped

First of, I’m a 40 year old male, with no history of heart problems. My story is one that highlights the power and sovereignty of God. I suppose to understand, one must venture to the beginning, as to fully grasp the situation. The details are an important part of the story. June 19th was the last day of VBS (Vacation Bible School) at church. One of the youth, and a kid I’ve known for many years approached me with a challenge, a foot race. Having a bad knee, and knowing I’m not supposed to run, it’s odd that I accepted his challenge to begin with. A few months prior I had found out I had a hernia on the right side of my groin. One more reason to say no, but I didn’t. Against what would have been better judgement, I said okay. The foot race commenced and I won. A victory over someone, someone so young, was short lived as the next day I was in the hospital. That hernia decided to bulge, leaving me unable to walk. When the doc came in to ‘fix’ it, I was grateful. The conversation ended with me going along with what turned out to be double ingroinal hernia surgery. Not one but two hernias. This would not take place till October however, so I had the rest of the summer to enjoy.

The hernia surgery came on the 28th of October. It was a quick surgery and a success. That is, till a single day later when the gas from the surgery migrated up to my right shoulder, causing significant pain. During the CT scan, something odd was seen, not of the gas but with my heart. My Aorta was not the right size. I was sitting in my room waiting for the doctors and when one came in, it would quickly become a whole ordeal. Several more doctors from different departments would grace my bedside. A plan was being formulated for priority open heart surgery. How did I go from hernia surgery to open heart surgery in a day? It turned out, that my aorta root was a bit larger than it should. Surgery threshold is 5.5 cm, but my root measured around 6.3. As it turned out, I had what is known as a ‘Bicuspid’ valve. When someone has this defect, their muscles, and ligaments can sometimes be super stretchy. Could this be the problem with my neck and my knee? Perhaps. Surgery would be set for Nov 22nd. Just less than a month later after hernia surgery. The amount of scans and tests I had to do in the meantime kept me very busy. Unfortunately I was not able to prepare everything for the heart surgery as I had attempted to do for the hernia surgery. Being the man of the house meant I did the heavy lifting. Planning for two months was not only expensive, but took a great deal of thought. Going into hernia surgery I felt prepared to be limited for a while. Going into heart surgery left me feeling wholly unprepared.

The 22nd came, and my nervousness showed in all my blood pressure tests. The morning was early, and I had once again found myself in surgery safety prep on the fourth floor of the VA hospital in Durham NC. Some familiar faces graced my bedside as I was shaved from my shoulders to my feet. I had already had to shave my beared the night before which was difficult, and I shaved my head as well, completely changing the way I looked just 24 hours prior. Long thin hair, and a long beard, now gone. Surgery prep seemed to go pretty quick this time. Before I knew it, most of my team was at my bedside for one final walkthrough of my case. The heart model I took for them to sign was signed, my last will and testament was submitted, and i was as ready as I could be.

Four hours was all the time the doc needed to replace my aorta root, the valve, and stem. A rock star of the aorta valve replacement world. A surgery that would normally take 8 hours he did in 4. That night they would start to wake me up, and I remember still having the ventilator tube down my throat. At first I was okay, but the longer they took to remove it, while I was awake, the more I began to panic. My mind said get it out, even though it was doing the breathing for me, I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. The tube was removed, and my memory foggy. I remember family being at my bedside, and a friend. The meds I was on, quickly put me back to sleep, till I was awoken the next morning to walk. Having multiple chest tubes, and an external temporary pacemaker, It took everything I had to get out of bed. I gripped my heart pillow with all the minuscule strength I had. Finally they got me up, I walked, and then I was back to the chair. In reality, I don’t remember much except being silly with my friend who was there, and my supportive bride. The medication they had me on was pretty strong and kept me in a fairly high state. By Tuesday, it seemed there might be something wrong. My heart wasn’t responding to being woken up. Test after test showed my heart was not responding and not functioning on it’s own without the pacemaker. Wednesday came, and the test was a 12 lead EKG, while they turned off the pacemaker. Essentially, they needed to see what was wrong, and what my heart was doing.

Wednesday, five days after heart surgery. The room was cleared so no one would see what happened, at my request. The leads were attached, and the nurse held my hand. The EKG started. Then, the countdown began, 3…2…1… and the pacemaker was turned off. My eyes couldn’t stay open, as I lost consciousness. My heart stopped. The test only kept the pacer off for 3 seconds, but for those 3 seconds, my heart stopped, and I was aware of it. I could feel the lightheadedness, the lack of oxygen flowing through my body. I could feel my body giving up the fight to stay awake. Within moments, I regained semi consciousness, and a few moments later it was better, but tears flowed down my face. How could life had come to this? By Friday I was scheduled to have a pacemaker installed. I am only 40 years old, and I have an artificial heart valve, and a device keeping my heart pumping. How could life have come to this? The answer is simple really, and can be found in scripture.

As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him.

— John 9:1-3

This wasn’t something God was doing to me, but something God saved me from. After a talk with one of my surgeons, I would find that the valve could have failed at any time. The valve description used was ‘gnarly’. So, in reality, both the valve, and the root were ticking time bombs. The root could have dissected, split open at any time. My plans were to be in the Philippines for Christmas this year. Instead I found myself having this surgery. God, has been in the details all year. From the original finding of the hernia, to the foot race, forcing my hand for surgery, to the gas going into the chest, which was fairly uncommon, to the incidental finding of my aorta on a scan not looking specifically at my heart. These things are too many coincidences to be considered coincidences. If the universe were truly chaos and random, then the odds of this many events culminating in life saving surgery, would be unlikely. But, that’s not how an Almighty God works. God saved my life, again. While my recovery has been difficult, and having the pacemaker adds extra challenges, the truth is, I was given the gift of life for Christmas.

This revelation of God’s sovereignty and grace, does not take away the hardships of heart surgery. It doesn’t take away the emotions left behind in it’s wake. When your body feels foreign, and broken, it’s easy to lose sight of the big picture. Yes, I am bored at home, and walking is a challenge because there is no place good to walk inside. Being too cold outside, has made recovery a challenge. Having to put my car in the shop the day after being released from the hospital, and having a $3000 dollar car repair, right before Christmas, has left me feeling a bit down. The Devil has thrown much at me since my time home from the hospital. It isn’t just the body that needs to heal after this kind of surgery, but the mind as well. I have found myself struggling needing help with everything I do. I have felt like a burden, a waist of time, weak. I have felt sorry for myself a time or too also. The struggle to do what is necessary for the recovery of mind and body is not one easily found where I live. I live too far from the local mall to walk. We have no recreation centers with indoor tracks. We have no large stores other than a small Walmart and a Lowe’s which neither sound appealing to walk. I have some ideas I may implement soon, money though is the question. I know the Lord provides all we need, I question if something is a need or a want.

I am slowly recovering physically, but I do believe the recovery is still a long ways away. God being in the details gives me hope that there is a reason for His saving my life yet again. The time bomb in my chest was diffused, and I now have time to do whatever the Lord wishes. Both the valve and the root could have given way at any moment, but God stopped me from going across the world, to have this surgery, and I know there has to be a reason. I don’t know why God gave me this pace maker, but this too is part of the Lords plan. I have said before, ‘all we can do with the time given to us is choose how we reply to each moment of our lives.’ We don’t have a say in what happens to us much of the time. We can’t change what people say or do in our lives, except try to live as Godly as possible. Living for Christ, and making decisions based on what we think would be pleasing to Him is truly all we can do.

It astounds me to think just a few weeks ago my entire chest was cracked open, exposed to the world. My heart was in the hands of a stranger. The gift of life this Christmas came at the hands of God. God didn’t have to give us warning something was wrong. God could have just taken me home. For whatever reason, God saw fit to save my earthly life, and here I am fighting the good fight for the Lord of Lords still. God works in mysterious ways for sure, and while I do not know why it is God has seen fit to save my life, yet again, I will continue to serve the best I can. Sometimes it’s hard to raise a hallelujah. Sometimes it’s all we can do do get out those words to praise a Holy God. Sometimes the world has done a number on us, and we’re down on our knees for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes it’s hard to hear the voice of God through the noise of the world. Sometimes it’s a storm tossed ship, wrecked and ravaged by the nature of this world. It’s in these moments, that we must raise the hallelujah. It’s these times we must praise God even more, and turn to Him for guidance and peace. Sometimes it’s a hard fought hallelujah, but in the battle we know it doesn’t belong to us. We know that Jesus already won the battle. The mighty victory cry he cried on the cross, ‘tetelestai’, or it is finished. This single word is more than just it is finished, but rather, the contract is complete, the battle is completely won, the bill is completely paid for. This was used in business, the debt is fully paid, judgment in court, sentence fully served, and the battle is fully won. How great is it to know that Jesus won our battles. The battle today is not of my own, or your own. We bare the cross yes, but Jesus already won the battle. The story we are in is already complete and will one day end. We see the battle, but Jesus sees our victory. When we see the deep valley, Jesus sees the triumph at the end of the road. We must take our troubles, and sorrows to the one who can do something about it, our Lord, our Savior, Jesus the Christ. We fight not against flesh and blood but in the spiritual realm of our souls. The Devil may break our bodies, he may attack our stuff, but what remains behind is our souls. Prayer is often underutilized. We often forget we have the ability to talk directly to the sovereign of the universe. We will suffer in this world, this was promised. Being a Christian, being a member of ‘the way’ is not one for the faint of heart. Jesus told us in scripture, it would take everything we have. Matthew 16:24 Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.” To pick up your cross meant to die to yourself. To do so publicly as the world would see you carry your cross. It meant to be ostracized by society. It meant to kill away your sins inside yourself daily. To give up your own pride, and your own selfish ambitions, to give your life to the Lord, and to do so publicly, unafraid. We are told the path to the Father is a narrow one, and many would rather chose or walk the wide path of destruction.

Life is going to be full of hardships, and despite those hardships, Jesus won our battle. Jesus fought the fight, and won. He defeated sin, and we have eternal hope. People want to talk about love is love, but true love is telling someone the truth. Jesus said he didn’t come to unite, but to divide us. The truth is, 2000 years ago, the Devil lost his fight when Christ became victorious over death. We have not seen the last of the war, but we know that Christ wins the war. People often think of Jesus as sweet baby Jesus, or hippy Jesus. The truth is, when Christ comes back, it will not be for earthly peace. When Jesus returns, it’ll be to bring righteous war upon the world that has rejected Him, in His perfect judgment for the sins of the world. We do not know the time of His return, but we are called to be ready for it. Jesus will return, sword in hand, and with the legions of Angels He commands, will fight to destroy the remaining evil in the world. The bowl judgments will pour out upon humanity, the trumpets will sound, and eventually God will reverse creation, wiping out all what we know, and He will rebuild. Jesus, the Lion of Judah, is not a hippy love is love Jesus. Jesus said, if you love me you will follow my commandments, so we are to love God’s commandments, and not just the ones we like. Is this life hard? It sure is, but we have a God who understands. We have a God that put on flesh to understand our sufferings. Count it all joy my brethren when you endure trials. Swords must be tempered in fire. Gold purified in the fiery furnace. Steel for everything we use is forged. Why would we be any different? Jesus told us the truth, that this life is hard. He loved us enough to show us the truth in His sacrifice. It would be easy if Jesus said, ‘you’re life would be a piece of cake’. That however wouldn’t be the truth. Some so called pastors say this, but it’s a lie from the Devil. We are soldiers, so let us soldier up, and get back into the fight. When the Devil starts shooting those arrows at you, cover behind the shield God gave you. Then when the time is right, spring forward, sword raised high, and push forward. We are soldiers on the battlefield, and it’s full of death, destruction, hardships, but we have the might of God, and the Angels on our side. Keep fighting, because inside you is a roaring lion. The spirit of God, the spirit of courage, bravery, and a spirit of hope, we are soldiers in this life. Fight on, and never quit. The truth of God is all around us, we just have to look around. We see His truth in the complexity of the plants, animals, our own bodies, the universe. We will emerge victorious, because Jesus is victorious.

God saved my life, and I know that I’ve been saved by the blood. I’ve been given life, and I will not let the Devil win. I will not let the demons whispering in my ear to quit, win. I will not stop preaching and teaching His mighty word. I will crawl if I have to, but I’ll keep going. My life is in God’s hands, and I was a soldier in this earthly life, I am a soldier for God, and my family I will keep my Armor tight, and show them, not my strength, but the strength God has given to me. I am saved, born again, washed by the water. Hallelujah to my Lord, this is a long hard fought Hallelujah. Let God have the Glory in my life. Why am I going through these hardships? So God would be glorified through it. Let us turn to God and show him the praise and worship, only He deserves. One day I will be recalled from this duty station. One day, the Lord will say my watch is over. One day Jesus will tell me, well done soldier, now rest. One day I will take up residence where I truly belong. One day, I will see what I’ve been fighting for this whole time. I long for that day, but for now, I will serve God faithfully here. I will fight for my family. I will be the spiritual head of my home. I will fight back against the Devil, I will resist with all my might, and protect my family. My service isn’t over yet, and God saving my life, not once, not twice, but three times or more, tells me He still has plans for me. Into the battle, He’s prepared my fingers for war. Let us pick up the shield, the sword, and let us go do some work. Fight the good fight soldiers of Christ, your not done yet.

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The Road Less Traveled 

The Road Less Traveled 

I woke up and the pain was worse than it was the night before. Throughout the day the pain medication just wasn’t working anymore. A call to the hospital nurse on duty led to the decision to visit the local bed and breakfast. That’s what I like to call the local VA. One, two and then three scans later, all I was expecting to find was some gas build up in my right shoulder, a residual from the surgery. What happened next is still difficult for me to talk about. When I do, I choke down my tears, stiffen that upper lip, and keep moving forward. While yes, there was gas in my shoulder, what the scans found was far more ominous. A ticking time bomb, For years I’ve been walking around, living my life, as if there were nothing wrong. How wrong could I have been? That’s how we live our life though isn’t it? Do we ever wake up and consider our own mortality? Is today the day we are to die? No one looking to the future thinks about all the hardships they will endure. People generally consider the future in a positive light, even though our lives are testament to the hardships we endure, our futures in our minds are bright and full of life. Scripture tells us the dangers of making claims of what we might do tomorrow. James 4:13-15. After hearing probably the hardest news of my life, aside from my ex-wife’s affair, I have been faced with the realization that life never goes the way we intend. Instead of traveling this holiday, I will be recovering from a life altering surgery. Who wakes up one morning from routine surgery only to find out the life they’ve been given is in danger of ending because of a silent killer inside their chest? The scans showed that I have an inflamed aorta in my heart. Unfortunately there is only one way to fix it, and that’s to have open heart surgery. The blow to one’s psyche is beyond anything I have faced. Learning of this heart defect has been the hardest emotional battle of my life. The enormous amounts of feeling I have felt is nothing I’ve experienced. Even having gone through two affairs, this emotional trial is not the same. I have felt responsible for causing hardship upon my family. I have felt weak. I have felt scared, and even worthless. I have felt as if my faith is weak, but I know it is not. Heart surgery will not be the end of me. God provided the scans to find it now, rather than me dying one random day from an aorta rupture. Five months ago I engaged in a foot race with one of the youth from church. The hernia on my right side bulged. It put me in the hospital to lead to surgery to repair not one but two hernias. Here in November I have surgery and a week later I have complications which put me in the emergency room. Doing scans to find out if there was gas in my shoulder from the surgery, something unusual showed up, an enlarged aorta. God it seems has spared me, but for what, I do not know. 

In the last few days I have experienced random bouts of crying for reasons unknown. Even though I have accepted what is to come, my mind seems to be working through the heaviness I feel. While I have the utmost faith in God, and trust His plan, the weight is still heavy, and at times feels crushing. How does one reconcile their faith, and the flesh feelings that flood my mind? The enigma of my mind does not escape my attention. “Why, am I crying?” has been a statement I’ve often said recently. What has years of therapy done for me? I believe it has prepared me for this day. What has years of hardship done for me? I believe it has prepared me for this day. While people often say, “God never gives you more than you can handle,” is not actually true. That’s not what the scripture says. 1 Corinthians 10:13 “13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.” The way to escape, what does that mean? The way to escape is putting your hope and faith in Christ, Jesus. Growing closer to the spirit and allowing the spirit to dwell within you. By placing your joy upon Jesus Christ, so nothing can take it from you.

While I have experienced many hardships in my life, and I have felt strongly about some of them, this particular issue has affected me differently than those before. While my broken heart during my divorce was real, and I had very strong emotions, this literal broken heart is a different kind of emotion. While I do not know the future, I have attempted to make plans after heart surgery. This has allowed me the opportunity to control some of the emotions by building hope into the equation. When we have something to look forward to, it often gives us a positive outlook on the negative event. The silver lining perhaps. 

It has amazing, the apathetic nature of people today. Do we truly not feel anymore? I have been doing what I thought was right, and inform people who might care about me, that I have to have this open-heart surgery. The replies I have received have shocked and baffled me. Most of them, “Okay, praying for you.” Just, okay? Is open heart surgery routine now? There have been little to know follow ups, to ask any other questions. Is this a lack of care about me? Is this a sign of the times that we just grow so distant that apathy is now the rally cry for people? This has solidified a few things in my mind about where I stand with others. Little to no priority. While this may be the truth, or it may not be, it’s the way it looks. I am reminded to keep my focus on the Lord because to Him, I am someone. “You can come to Him just as you are, let him have your broken heart.” (Casting Crowns) 

Feeling welcome or apart of something has always been hard for me. I have often felt like the outcast, that I didn’t fit in. In God’s Heaven, I will fit in. I will find a place I belong. Jesus chose me before the foundations of the world. In him I have hope where he raised my heart from death to life. I walked in darkness without him. I walked by my own set of rules. I walked by my own desires. I was a dead man walking. Jesus changed my heart. Jesus opened my dull, blind eyes to see the truth. Jesus changed my mind to see through the lies of the world, the lies of the deceived, Satan. The faith that can move mountains, and the hope that can withstand the battle waged all around. The greatest miracle of all is the raising of the dead. The changing of a single heart from dead to life. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, no one gets to the father but through Him. While people will fail you, and oh believe me, they will fail you, Jesus never will. We think people should act a certain way. Say certain things, but in reality, people are fallen creatures. It may be, I don’t mean to people what they mean to me. Or it may mean people just don’t know what to say. Either way, all I can do is inform people I think want to know, and let the chips fall where they may. 

There are words from another casting crowns: (Just Be Held)

Hold it all together

Everybody needs you strong

But life hits you out of nowhere

And barely leaves you holding on

And when you’re tired of fighting

Chained by your control

There’s freedom in surrender

Lay it down and let it go

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away

You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held

Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place

I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held

Just be held, just be held

I feel this song is what I’m going through right now. Since 2016, God has given me the right music to provide comfort when I needed it. Today is no different. I cannot sit here angry. Jesus is on the throne, and I cannot control the outcome of tomorrow. I can only control my actions in this moment. I may not be able to control every thought, but my focus being on the Lord minimizes the flesh. Jesus is always enough, and in all things, glory to the one who deserves our prayers, and worship. The one who calmed the storm, healed the blind man, turned water to wine, and defeated death, my praise and worship, into his hands I give my heart. Jesus is always enough. No matter what I’m going through and endure here in this life, Heaven is on the horizon. In a short while, I will join Him in paradise, and all my tears, all my pain, all my sorrow will be a distant past, and eternity is my future. Jesus is all there is. My heart is literally broken, but one day, a new heart will beat within my chest, and today, I will rejoice in being set free from the life I lived. I have faith, and I have hope, and the devil will never take that from me. Jesus is always enough. Let us pray. 

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A Heart In Pieces 

A Heart In Pieces 

The world has done a pretty good job at telling me I’m a nobody. Even the military tells us we are nobody in basic training. When I was a kid I was bullied to the point I wished I was dead. I believed God had made a mistake in creating me. I felt like I had done something wrong. Why would I have to grow up without a father, why would I grow up with a broken mother, and why would I be abandoned in my greatest times of need? As Dax said, “I can’t hide myself, I don’t expect you to understand.” In recent years I had many people come and go out of my life and after a while I found, the only reason they kept me in their life, was the money I could provide. Was I just an ATM, there for everyone’s withdrawal? To me, it seemed like it. The moment I said no they’d leave. When I was in absolute crisis and chose to end the mental anguish by putting a 9mm hallow point through my shoulder, and nearly dying in the process, on accident, while there were some that came to my bedside, I had more get mad at me and left. Instead of showing love I was shown the door. I was broken, and I didn’t know how to put myself back together. I was disregarded as a human, I couldn’t complain, I had to just accept the cards I was dealt and move on, I wasn’t allowed to feel. I wasn’t allowed to hurt, instead I had to be positive and smile through the tears. 

What good am I today? I have questioned God and I have asked why He would put a mission on my heart, but I wouldn’t have any means to make it so. I have looked around my life and I see chaos everywhere. What am I providing? Am I still just a wallet? Am I just a waist of space taking up air? I feel in my heart that I am broken. I feel my body failing me, and the chronic pain wears on me. I feel the world beating me down, and I feel tired. I have looked for help, but I’m left with crickets. Why is life so hard for me? Why is it that when anyone who enters into my orbit their life seems to turn to hell? Is it my fault? Is it something about me that attacks the attacks from the evil one? I feel the thunderous waves crashing down upon me. I feel like the walls are closing in and I am tired. I can’t provide for my family, I can’t afford a home, I can barely afford anything. This moldy tent is all I have to show for my years of service and sacrifice. 

Lord I know you are the strength giver. You are the light. You are the great Alpha and Omega. You are the great physician; you are the Lord of Lords and the King of Kings. You are the merciful, and the author of patience, but I need your peace. You are the God of miracles. Your truth tells me to hold on, and those who are yours, no one will ever pluck from your hand. I do not know why I am here to watch as so many face such hardships. The war wages on all around me, and I feel so deeply as I watch lives fracture and crumble, it’s more than I can bare. 

Lord, you are the lighthouse guiding me home. Lord your love surrounds me. Lord your angels are near to comfort my broken heart. Lord your mercy gives me another day. Lord your grace shows me tomorrows opportunities. Lord your faithfulness lifts me up to remember the promise kept. Lord, my hope, my only hope, is to trust you. To know you are in control, to know you are guiding me home, and you guard my soul. 

Lord, my prayer is that in the midst of so much despair. So much fear, and so much anger, you protect me. The storm outside is nothing compared to the turmoil I feel inside. I know Lord, one day I will be with you in glory. Lord, I know one day my body will no longer be broken. Lord, my wounds will only hurt for a short time left. Lord, I know one day you will call me home, and I will be made new. Lord, I know you took the stripes for me. Lord, I know that the only scars in Heaven will be the scars on you, my Lord. You tasted death so one day I wouldn’t have too. Lord, you faced this world, stepped out of glory for me. Lord, my world is broken, but you will make all the old new. Lord, you catch my tears and you hold them. Lord, you feel my tears I cry for this world, in all it’s brokenness. Lord, you give strength to face the day when I don’t know how I will make it one more step. Lord, you take my fear and you turn it to courage to hold the line for you. As the arrows of the enemy fly all around me, you keep me protected, hidden behind your shield. Your sandals on my feet dig in as the enemy pushes down upon me. Amen Lord, while the thunder rolls, you are there with me. Lord, hold fast this Armor, remind me Lord, you are there, you have never left my side, and while I am broken, and bloody, I am still here. Lord, take my broken heart, piece it back together, and let me be a light for others. Let others look upon me and see you. Let me continue to fight the good fight for your praise, your glory, your purpose. 

Lord, forgive me for my shortcomings. Forgive my sins, and show me the path. Show me how I can do more to serve you. I will praise you in this storm, and I’ll lift my hands. Please watch over my family and be with them in their storms. Please protect them from the evil that means to do them harm. Please as I lift my eyes to you, please look down and protect them. Let your spirit comfort their worries, and turn their fear into courage. Lord you are worthy of praise, and worship. Your will be done. Amen. 

Lord, as Casting Crowns put it, 

I don’t know why you chose me, but you chose 12 nobodies and you changed the world. I don’t know why you chose me, but I’m just a nobody, tryin’ to tell everybody, all about somebody who saved my soul. 

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A podcast where we go through books of the Bible one verse at a time.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV3r024gS2FRDIbpqnsDwWA

The Best Captain 

The Best Captain 

In the middle of a storm now, the ship tossed by the waves. Daylight isn’t on the radar right now, but this ship’s strong. It’s got the best captain guiding it. The ship creaks as the waves pound against her hull. I look up and see the mast groans as the waves crash over the deck. The sky’s been dark for many nights now. No stars to guide, but somehow the captain knows. We’ve all wondered how He knows, where are we going and how do we get there, when we can’t see? He tells us all He knows the way, and it’ll be okay. The ship’s old, but she’s not done yet. Her bones are tough, as the waves break upon her hull. Aye, the Captain tells us all to be of good cheer in the midst of the storm. “It build’s good character”, He yells from the helm. 

I’ve been on ship for 30 years now, and He’s not driven to land yet. He’s avoided disaster more times than I could count. The deep calls us all, and desires us to break apart in the storms. The deep has a mind of its own, but the Captain’s to resolved and maintains the course to prosperous seas. Sometimes I can hear the darkness beckon to me, it tells me all is lost. The Captain seems to always know, as it happens, Captain shouts encouragement to me. Many years ago, the dark nearly took me. I fell overboard when a rogue wave hit the ship so hard it jeered and I flew overboard. I thought for sure the waters would take me, but somehow, the Captain dove in and pulled me up. He said, ‘Your sailing days aren’t done yet.’ No more words were ever spoken about it, but I knew the Captain saw something in me that day. Didn’t have to risk Himself for me, but ever since, it’s felt like He’s kept a special eye on me. 

The sharks can be seen circling the ship. Do they smell blood in the water? Do they look forward to me being tossed overboard again? Minions of the dark they are. They seem scared of the Captain though. I swear sometimes I can hear the Captain say, ‘not today!’, and they flee from sight. I don’t know or understand the power the Captain has over the seas, but it’s like it bows to His commands. Even though the sea doesn’t always calm, we navigate through the storms and often in the darkest of nights, Captain’s always watchful. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the Captain never sleeps. Sometimes I take the helm, but as soon as I do it seems another storm billows in, and He’s right back on the wheel. He just says, “have faith”. So I let go of the wheel, and give her back over to the Captain.

The storm is raging on, the lighting cracks in the sky, and I can barely hear Captain’s orders. The darkness surrounds the ship, as she creaks and groans in the treacherous waves. Fear of the ship running aground, or breaking up, or worse, I get tossed over, leaves me trembling with worry. The waves crash over the rail, and I take the full force of the wall of water. I’m wet, and cold, fear grips me, and I fall to my knees and begin to cry. Just as I do a hand touches my shoulder. “‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your CAPTAIN. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’” Cap knows just what to say when I need it. 

In the eye of the storm, you are in the control. Captain my Captain, I follow you. The sails rip and tear, but you don’t worry. I can’t see beyond the bow of the ship, but you say, “In me have faith. I will steer you home.” I worry about much, but my Captain knows. The tears pour down my face, but I find peace in the word Cap gives me. When the sails are torn, it seems Cap’s love surrounds me even more. I look to the East and I can see a glint of light. I tremble to my feet, and I say, “I trust you, Captain.” Cap looks to me and says, “The son rises, so you should have hope.” 

I sought after my Captain, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. With the Captain on my side; I will not fear. What can this storm do to me?  The Captain looks down and yelled to me, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” I stumbled up the stairs to the wheel, and said, “Cap, I’ve been following for a while, and I don’t even know your name.” 

He replied, “I am who I am. I am the way, the truth the life. I am the alpha and the omega. I am the Good Shepherd whom you’ve heard my voice. I am the Lion, and the Lamb. I am Emmanuel, I am Jesus, your Captain. And I’ve got you. Trust in me, and I will see you through to the end of the age, when I welcome you home, when we reach the shores of my Kingdom. You will then have rest. Till then, we’ve got work to do.” 

I fell to my knees and kissed the feet of my salvation. I arose, and grabbed hold of the rope as the ship teetered in the continued waves.

“Fear Not” Jesus said, and peace fell over me, yet while still in the storm. And I was not afraid. 

Jesus may not stop the storms from happening, but He’s right there with us in the midst of them. We cannot face the dark, and face the demons in the dark with fear. Jesus goes before us, and He is with us. The demons tremble and fear him, and if we lose our lives then life is gained. We must trust He knows which way to go, and we must not try to continue to take the wheel from Him. Let us let go, and Let God. The sun rises in the East, and some day, He’ll return from the East. Faith, we must put our faith in Him. 

Written By: 

Rev. Jacob Keiffer

Right In Their Own Eyes

Right In Their Own Eyes:

Judges 21:25 (NASB95)  25 In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes.

It’s no secret what’s going on in college campuses across the country. It’s no secret what’s going on in the country as far as wokeness goes. We see the reimplementation of segregation, and riots, chants calling death to Israel, and the USA. We see wars in Israel, and in Ukraine. What we are seeing is hate. Rampant hate. 

Zephaniah 2:1 Gather yourselves together, yes, gather,

O nation without shame,

Today in this world, we see a twofold issue. One: we have no solid leadership that fears the Lord. I’d say this from either the Left, or the Right. It appears in an age when the rally cry is that there is no absolute truth, which, in itself is an absolute truth, thereby irrelevant. An age when people are making things up, changing definitions at a whim, and in absolute certainty, not fearing the Lord. 

Today in this country, and many countries around the world, the last verse in Judges, and the First verse in Zephaniah 2, seem to be exactly where we are today. How far we’ve fallen from a country based on moral biblical beliefs. While no, not every founder believed in Jesus from the Bible, but the Bible principles are seen in the writings of the US. Constitution, and bill of rights. We’ve come a long way since 1776. While I would have said not long ago, racism wasn’t a big issue in the country, but one largely inflated by the media, I would say the recent events towards Jewish students and people is terrifying, and sadly proves me wrong. Not terrifying because I can’t believe it’s happening, but it’s terrifying because of what I think God may do. 

I enjoy my life, and I’m happy to live in a place where I am free to speak about my God, and the Bible. I’m happy to be able to worship without fear of reprisals from the government. But, and it’s a big but, I am disappointed in the nature of where we are as a country. The level of wokeness and the level of disrespect towards the flag, when college kids chant death to America, raise the flag of another nation, it’s utterly heart breaking for me to watch. We don’t respect the freedoms in the US. anymore. We don’t respect the men and women who died for freedoms in this country.  We’re not a perfect nation, no place is, but we are the oldest living republic, the land of the free, and sadly, so many just don’t care anymore. 

We are truly a nation without shame. We don’t care anymore about what’s morally correct, and go so far as to say what is truth? Haven’t we heard that before? Did not Pilate ask Jesus what is truth? (John 18:38) Indeed, so, when I see kids today being agitated, egged on by outside influences, my heart breaks. I’ve heard an argument recently that said the kids are not at fault, but they just want to fit in. Sadly, this isn’t an excuse for appalling, and sad behavior. I saw that the CEO of “HIMS” applauded the protestors, and the kids participating, and the irony that this man had the ability to make a multimillion dollar company in a place where capitalism still rules. A man who’s gotten rich from having a product. Yet, in the socialist society that they clamor to have, would take more than 50% of the profits for the government to use however it wants. Or, the very left protesting for Gaza is also ironic. LGBT rights in Palestine is not a thing. It’s prohibited. The LGTB community protesting and praising Iran for its role, and yet, you can die for being gay in Iran. You can be killed for showing your hair if you’re a woman. You cannot protest in Iran without fear of death and prison. I saw recently a student said the Constitution described “indigenous people as merciless Indian savages.” Yet, while this may have been said by a founder, people perpetuate a lie, and believe it without ever looking it up for themselves. No, the constitution does not say that. In fact it says this, “We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.” (https://constitutioncenter.org/the-constitution/full-text) And the Declartion of Independence says this, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”(https://www.archives.gov/founding-docs/declaration-transcript There’s a difference between what a document says and what a person felt in their heart. These documents have given us the pursuit of happiness, and the freedoms to worship and not be discriminated against for it. We were given a moral law from our creator to live by, and this country even through its flaws up until recently had come to a point where people were free to work and pursue their dreams. Now, Jews cannot walk on their college campus safely. As one Jew said on the news, it looked like the beginnings of Nazi Germany just before WWII. How far we’ve fallen. Inclusion, a lie, the truth is, only the ones they want to be included, Jew and Christians, not welcome. 

We have corrupted not only the work done to end segregation, and instead are beginning to institute this again. We are truly destroying what made this country great to start with. Opportunity. We don’t limit people who can work by age. We don’t discriminate based on sex, age, creed, religion, in the work place, yet we are called racist. We stand in the streets and cry for a victim. There always has to be a victim to cry for. 

So, now that I’ve said what we’re doing, how does all this connect with the verses? We have become a nation that does not fear the Lord. We worship the creation and we worship ourselves. We perpetuate lies about how this world was created as truth, even though it’s only a very broken theory. We worship sex, and we praise those who use sex as their way to the top. We worship social media, and we clamor to it like a moth to a flame. We scream about the death of the planet by way of greenhouse gases, yet we ignore how and where the materials come from for the electric vehicles they want. We worship the creation. Today, wisdom lacks. In the days where we have the most access to information, people are the most ignorant they’ve ever been. We march in the streets and show our pride, and we raise the pride flag and display it proudly, yet the Christian flag is offensive. We truly are a nation turning its back on God. Our kids do not know how to think, and think for themselves. They are led astray by theories, philosophies, secular ideals, and what’s wrong is right, and what’s right is wrong. We disrespect the peacemakers, who try to make it safe for us to live. College kids around the country are calling to get rid of the college police departments. We used to fear the Lord, now, the opinions of the Left, and even some of the Right, are in opposition to God’s word. Our leaders do not fear the Lord, and some actively spit in the face of scripture and God.  

As a Christian first, then a soldier, what’s happening around me is heartbreaking, and this is not a strong enough word to express how I feel. In my heart, I hurt for the lost. I hurt for those who face eternal condemnation before a righteous God. We say we don’t need God, but without God we are lost for eternity. Without Jesus Christ we are doomed to face death. The other problem is the counterfeit Gospel leading so many to Hell. So much going on, my breaking heart can hardly stand it. I want to scream it from the top of the mountains to follow Jesus, to trust in Him, to follow Him in faith and fear. I want to save my country, and I don’t want it to fall to destruction like Israel in times of old. I want to send up the flair of distress and get help for my beloved nation. I fought for this nation, and I fear for it. I fear for loved ones who do not know Christ. I fear that the judgment of the Lord is coming and we will soon see his wrath poured out upon this country, or worse, He just turns His back on us. I don’t want to feel like what I’m doing is in vain. I wish I knew if any of this mattered. I wish I knew if the hours of preparation for the podcasts, and the blog actually mattered. Does anyone benefit from it? Or am I the only one? 

Can we say here in America “In God We Still Trust”? I pray for this beautiful and free nation. I pray we see our wrongs and repent of what we’re doing. I pray for the kids who are being inundated with so many lies, and attacks. I pray for the children being exposed to sexuality, and impure ideals. I pray for kids and what their little eyes see. I pray our eyes are opened, the scales fall from them, and we see the Light of the world, Christ. I pray we turn from evil, and we stop celebrating sin. I pray we stop the attacks on the Jewish community, and Israel. I pray we stop the hate. I pray we stand firm on God’s word, and the truth, and continue to share the love of Christ, by telling people the truth. We cannot appease the world, if we are to share the saving word of Christ. If we truly love people, we MUST share God’s word with them. We must tell people the truth. The truth of Jesus Christ is the only hope we have. There is so much darkness, we must pray to be the ever-brightening light poking holes in the darkness. We must stand tall, and stand firm, and hold true to the word of God. As I have said before, we cannot expect morality from an immoral people. We must share the Gospel, and pray the Spirit touches hearts. We must stand up now, more than ever for the Word of God. We must share Jesus with everyone, and pray it’s not too late to repent before the judgment of the Lord comes down upon us. We are truly a nation of heahens, and we need to seek the face of the One and only Holy God. We need to seek Yahweh, the great I AM. We must fall upon our faces in reverential fear of the Lord. We must repent and follow Him. We must not continue on this path like a train headed for a cliff. Let us pray together for this country and pray for forgiveness, and repentance. 

Go in peace and love.

The Podcast is still going well, but I’d love if yall follow me there. I’m going through the book of John, and hope you join me for my weekly podcast. Right now, the podcast is on Monday’s or Tuesdays. And I do a short video at the end of the week. I’ve started doing interviews about Christian life and how and what that looks like for different people in different walks of life. 

Have a blessed week, and share the love of God. 

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@thearrowpreacher6920

The Bread of Life 

The Bread of Life 

When we consider what this means, the bread of life, I’m sure many images come to mind. What about living water? In John 6:27, Jesus tells them they will receive the food which endure to everlasting life. Jesus will later tell them in verse 35 “And Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst.”  Jesus is the bread of life. 

In exodus we see the Israelites in the desert. They begin complaining about their hunger. First point: They complained about their hunger. Instead of complaining about something to God, why not just ask Him. Nowhere in scripture does it say they prayed to God to take care of their needs. No, it simply says they complained about it. They had very little faith, despite seeing the miracles so far performed by Moses, the vessel in which God chose to work. 

Despite listening to His people complain and not just ask, God is a merciful and patient. He gives them manna from Heaven, but with a couple rules regarding this substance. It was possibly some kind of substance to make bread. Here’s why I believe that. If the manna which came from Heaven every day was to sustain them, but only a day at a time, the next time a ‘food substance’ “bread of life” came from heaven, it would sustain them for eternity. Even though God set forth rules for the Hebrews in Exodus, some still didn’t listen. They had little faith in the God who freed them from Egypt. All they were required to do was have faith, and God the Almighty Father would provide their needs, water, food, and shelter. 

We today, are not much different. We don’t pray for our needs, instead we only pray for our wants. We don’t pray for guidance, instead we say, “I’ve got this.” In reality, we don’t want God to be a part of our daily life, we’re negligent in our relationship, or we treat God as a cosmic genie, to only come forth when we rub the lamp to give us our wish. Really, it’s quite amazing God doesn’t wipe us out and start over; how ungrateful we are. The Apostles prayer or as some of you call it, The Lords Prayer, really does tell us all we need to know. 

Matthew 6:9-13

9 In this manner, therefore, pray:

Our Father in heaven,

Hallowed be Your name.

10 Your kingdom come.

Your will be done

On earth as it is in heaven.

11 Give us this day our daily bread.

12 And forgive us our debts,

As we forgive our debtors.

13 And do not lead us into temptation,

But deliver us from the evil one.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

This prayer that Jesus teaches his disciples is a template. Not meant for repetitious prayer. This prayer shows us each section of what to pray from your heart. 

Who are you praying to? The Father of all creation. God almighty, in Heaven. 

Give the praise: Hallowed: to dedicate, to purify, to set apart. 

Relinquish your own control: God, it’s your Kingdom above, and Your will, will be done here on Earth as your will is done in Heaven. Lord Whatever you wish will be, and I trust you. 

Lord, thank you for your provision, thank you for the gift of life, the bread, the water, that you provide to us daily. 

Lord, please forgive our sins, they are many, and here they are. 

Lord, please forgive those who sin against us, as your son forgave them. Please they do not know what they do. 

Lord please help us face the temptation when it comes. Please strengthen our hearts, that we may not lean upon our own strength, but to trust and lean upon your Son, Jesus. Protect us from the Evil One who seeks to destroy and to separate us from you. 

For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. 

When we seek communion with the Father, we should do so with a humbled heart, and a heart of reverence. We should do so with a heart of fear for the Lord. What we should not do, is turn to God in complaint every step of our lives. 

What the Israelites failed to realize is, all they needed to do was to turn to God for their provisions. To trust in God who had already delivered them out of the hands of Pharaoh. But, in all reality, we do the same. We rarely turn to God in prayer, even more rare, do we open His Word to us, and yet we expect Him to jump at the first time we pick up the Heavenly phone and call upon His name. Again, cosmic genie. Sadly, we do not go to God with sorrow in our hearts, that we have not spoken to him in days, weeks, months, or years. What if we’ve never spoken to God? 

Jesus tells us, He’s the bread of life, he is the sustainer that gives us this bread, this life saving sustenance. Jesus said a lot during His ministry, His rescue mission of humanity, and during this time He said that the Father above loves us more than the birds, and the plants of the earth. Our choices in this life lead us down path after path, after path, and when we hit the brick wall going 95mph, we get mad, and turn to God to fix our mistakes. God loves you, but when you mess up in this life, there are still consequences. God will help pick you up, but you still have to deal with wherever you put yourself through, in your own choices. God will give you the chance however, to deal with those choices in a biblical way. How you get out of the hole you dug is dependent on you. 

When we mess up, we have the opportunity to turn to Christ in repentance of our disobedience, our poor choices, our sins, and do things right. It may take time to fix, and it will cause us to live our life differently, and to force change, but God will be there with us. Before Christ, we are dead in our sins. 

Ephesians 2:1-10

2 And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, 2 in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, 3 among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.

4 But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6 and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

We are dead in our trespasses. WE followed the Devil who is the prince of the Earth, and those who follow the will of the world. Once, before Christ, we lived in our lusts of the flesh, being fornicators, idolaters, thieves, liars, coveters, and more. We loved our sin, like a pig in mud, we rolled around in it, and enjoyed every second of it. But God shows us through His son, and by the touching of the Holy Spirit, we are not meant for that life, and He rescues us. God’s mercy and love, through the sacrifice of His son, bought your freedom, to redeem you, and in His life brought us back into right standing with the Father, in His Holy Kingdom. We would one day breathe our last, and when we believe in him, having picked up our cross to follow Him, we would have everlasting life. 

He gives us life, and having taken the bread of life, we are forever changed. We are unplugged from the world, much like unplugging from the Matrix. We no longer sleep, blind to the world, the sins, the evil around us, we awaken from our slumber, and see the truth. Jesus Christ is the Son of God, the only son of the Father, who was crucified, died and was buried. He rose again and made himself known to his Apostles and hundreds of others. He stayed with them for 40 days before ascending to Heaven. When he left, there would be a time when the spirit would join them. On the day of Pentecost, the Holy Spirit descended upon His chosen Apostles, and the Church was built. Jesus is the bread that gives life. Let us turn to God in prayer, true prayer, and be prepared for the battle ahead, each and every day. Let us wear the Armor of God to stand firm on the Word of God, hold fast against the temptations and the attacks of the Devil. Let us walk in peace and reflecting God’s light to every people of all nations, adhering to the command to go forth to all nations and make disciples, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Scripture gives us all we need. Take the bread of life and be saved, for Jesus is the way the truth and the life, and no one gets to the Father, except through Him. 

Go in peace, and in love, and be courageous. 

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Let’s Get Rich

Let’s Get Rich:

I have spent the vast majority of my life a poor individual. Not that my character is poor, no, I mean my wallet. Growing up I didn’t know what it meant to have money. I remember one Thanksgiving a giant basket of food was dropped on our doorstep just a few days before the holiday. Why us? I wondered. I knew we were always hurting for money though because, I received free lunch in school. I knew there were three categories, full pay, discount, and free, and I knew it was based on your family’s income. I can also recall Christmas’s where I know my grandpa foot the bill for my presents. I knew money was tight when the food stamps ran out because, there was little or no money left for food. I knew mac and cheese, chicken, because it was cheap, and hot dogs. Oh, and one cannot forget the cereal dinners. I’m not angry about it, because no matter what, or who it came from, God always provided, and I never went hungry. Yes, there were times a meal came from a neighbor, or two, but while I noticed, I never felt like I was going to go without food. Summers were a little more challenging, but I spent a lot of time away from home, so of course lunch time rolls or dinner rolls around, and I ate with friends then too. Again, God always provided. I didn’t always get the newest toy I wanted, and I rarely had new clothes, but I was clothed. Even when other kids were cruel because of what I wore, at least I had clothing. Even if I didn’t feel that at the time. Bullying can be tough for a child. 

When I moved out from home, and I moved in with my grandpa, meals changed. The type of house I lived in changed, and eventually I wound up with a car, that grandpa paid for. I got myself a job when I was old enough. I had spending money. I learned early that those with money, ought to be generous towards those who don’t. While in school, I was often the guy people turned too for a few dollars for the soda machine, or a snack from the vending machines. Even gas from time to time. When I was in the military, I had no bills, and no expenses, minus a few dollars for haircuts, or pens or markers needed in basic training. Needless to say, the money from my paycheck was all going to savings. I wasn’t rich by any means, but when my aunt had a major stroke midway through training, I had the funds to help out. I sent money that was used to support for my cousins during that time. At some point early in my career, I sent somewhere around $5k home to a friend to buy a car. A little while later, I sent around $2K to help another friend with college payments. Why do I say all this? It isn’t for my own pat on the back, or even for the recognition. It’s about something much deeper, and much more important. 

Today, I’m sure many people were worried about the end times. I’ve seen post after post about preparing for the end. It honestly reminded me of Y2K, and 2012. I spent the day outside with family peering up at the beauty of God’s creation, and his perfect plan for the universe. An astronomical event, of this kind being rare, was something I dared not miss. Not once did I think the end times were coming. No, I just wanted to enjoy the sight, and marvel at God’s creation. While I was doing this, I know thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, or millions of people were indeed worried about what this rare eclipse could mean. Is this the end of the world, or the beginning of the end? IS this a sign from God? I’m not trying to poke fun of anyone, but for those who don’t know the word, it’s easy to let fear guide your actions and thoughts.

How are these two things related? Thank you for asking. Ultimately it comes down to God’s word. While there are millions of people giving every bit of money they have, albeit not much, to churches in the hopes of sewing a seed, and God doubling or more their investment, they are putting their hope in money to change their lives. In the same breath millions of people believe in Jesus, but also superstitions, and mystical energies (Not the Holy Spirit), and put their hope in everything but God. In reality, both are equally as dangerous to one’s own soul. One cannot be a slave to two masters. One cannot serve God and also superstition and astrology. One cannot serve God while serving their desire for riches and prosperity. Scripture is very clear on these points. If we are more worried about our bank accounts than serving God, we might need a spiritual checkup. If we are more worried about what our zodiac sign says this month, we might need a spiritual checkup. I cannot help but wish to be rich in my life. It’s a longing I cannot explain, and a desire that rests above all else. It isn’t for money though, but rather rich in the spirit. I desire to be rich in the fruits of the spirit. 

Galatians 5:22-23

“22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.” 

Love: Agape- Divine love, Christs love to man, 

Joy: Joy- delight

Peace: spiritual peace, 

Longsuffering: Patience in troubles and difficulties

Kindness: goodness, excellence, uprightness, goodness of heart. 

Goodness: A sterner word for kindlier. 

Faithfulness: In active sense of faith, belief, trust, confidence, religious faith in God or Christ. 

Glentleness: meekness: Having power but refraining from using it. 

Self-Control: Mastery, control over one’s self. 

Each of these is the Biblical definition of the original word in Greek. The ‘be full of the spirit’, is to be full of the fruit of the spirit. One does not simply wake up one day and boom, there it is, you’re a super Christian now. No, my friends, it takes work, and effort to be full of these things. As I said, I wish to be rich in these things. I was always blessed with a caring heart, sometimes too much so for my own good. Meaning, it led me to disaster more times than I could count. Perhaps, I lacked wisdom in my youth, to decern a good friend, from a bad one, or a lack of protecting my heart. Either way, I often gave sacrificially not for my own benefit, but because I felt led to help where I could. When I was in need as a child, I often had people going out of their way to help me, so in my heart, I felt I needed to do the same. My prayer today, is that someday, I am blessed with the funds to get back to where I was in my younger days as a man, before the dark days came. 

A few bad choices led me down the road of destruction, and so far in my life, God has not restored what I have lost. He has however never stopped blessing me. While I do live paycheck to paycheck, and I do struggle to make ends meet, and even struggle putting food on the table sometimes, He’s never not shown up. Somehow, some way, God always provides. Does He not take care of the birds of the air, or the grass in the field, how much more does he love you. Let tomorrow worry for itself, for today has enough problems. (Matthew 6:26-27) What we really need to be focused on, is the love of God, and knowing Him. We need to be focused on growing that relationship, and being rich in love, and mercy, grace, and forgiveness, and the fruits of the spirit. If we spent more time focused on those things, rather than trying to line our pockets with riches, that we’re likely to use for sinful idols, we may actually find ourselves better off. 

Nowhere in scripture does it say you’ll be rich if you follow Christ. In fact, scripture warns about the love of money. 1 Timothy 6:10 “10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.” It warns about where you put your heart. Matthew 6:21 21 “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” It warns about the idols we collect. Isaiah 45:20B “They have no knowledge, Who carry the wood of their carved image, And pray to a god that cannot save.” If God blesses you, that is entirely God’s prerogative. If he doesn’t, that’s also his prerogative. Scripture doesn’t say God wants you to prosper now, meaning never have trials, and be not be poor. And God’s plan for your life, is for you to worship Him, to give him glory, and thanks for what you’ve been given. Knowing what is meant for you, or the nation of Israel, is vital to properly exegesis of scripture. You are not in the Bible, and while we can glean, and take things out that apply to us, we need to know the difference in how everything applies. Let me give you an example. 

If you read Exodus, and you see how God gives Israel manna from Heaven, does that mean God will do the exact same thing for you? No, of course not, but what it does mean, is, as the people of Israel were forced to trust and rely on God for provision, so shall you. Trusting in God’s plan, no matter if it means we go through a storm, or not, that He will see us through it. Do not expect to get rich as a Christian since, in reality, we don’t see in scripture Christians who were rich. We do see those helping the church sacrificially. We see in the NT scripture says to give sacrificially, never in the NT does it say give a 10th, or a tithe. We are called to give yes, but based on one’s own heart and ability. Nowhere in scripture does it mean if you give 100 Denari, then you’ll get 250 in return somehow. If you’re focused on the seeds of wealth being sewn, and not the seeds of the Gospel into hearts of the unbeliever, you may be following a false, fake, counterfeit gospel. 

My prayer is for myself to continue to grow in the Holy Spirit. I wish to grow closer to God, and have a deeper understanding of his word and wishes for my life. I pray my gifts be put to use in the service of his kingdom. I wish to return to a position in my life where I can be just as generous as the days of old. I do pray that someday I no longer live in a tent, but till that day comes, I am happy for the canvas roof over my head, the warm bed to sleep in at night, a family who loves me, and food upon my table. I have worked hard in my life and my body is broken at an early age. I will no longer make large sums of money, and as a disabled veteran, not even making social security, I don’t even make a 1/3 of what’s required in today’s economy for a house, (where I live). I struggle with finances, let alone make what the new nationwide average says I need to live comfortably. But even though I never expect to make lots of money, I know God will somehow make a way for me to not be in the tent forever. One thing I know about God is, He blesses the faithful. Sometimes blessings don’t always look like what we may hope for, or expect, but they are always there. 

Being rich doesn’t mean having a lot of money, no, it means having an abundance of love. It means having more mercy from God, than I could ever deserve. Being rich is being blessed with loving friends and family. Being rich is being thankful for what you have, and counting your blessings one by one. Being rich is God providing your needs, even if He doesn’t provide your every want. Being rich is having physical ailments that leave you in chronic daily pain, but having so much love in your life, the pain can’t ruin your day. Let us want to get rich in God’s love and blessings in our lives. Not of earthly stuff that will quickly pass away, but in the things that really matter. 1 Timothy 6:9-11 9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. WE MUST BE CAREFUL WITH WHAT WE FOCUS ON! The things we turn into idols, even if we don’t mean too, can draw us away from God. Matthew 6:19 19 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; We cannot put a price on love, mercy, grace, joy, peace, gentleness, longsuffering, goodness, and self-control, the greatest of all is love. If you’ve got love, the rest will take care of itself, and knowing we are loved by Christ, and the Father will take care of us, money is less important. Sure, we all need money to survive, and sometimes it takes hard work, and dedication, and perseverance, but that just means we need to be active in changing our situation (when able). We must work as scripture says. We are to be gracious, and generous, when we can, but be abundant in the fruit of the spirit to all. Money should never be our focus, and certainly not our priority. God is the priority, and repenting of our sins, and putting our faith in Christ, not to rid us of the storm, but to be there with us in the midst of the storm. Let us get rich together, not of gold, and silver, diamonds, and gems, but let us get rich in the spirit of God. Go, and seek God first the Kingdom of God, in accordance to the scriptures. 

Peace and Love be upon you. 

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The Cost is High, But the Reward is Unimaginable. 

The Cost is High, But the Reward is Unimaginable. 

Last night I heard an amazing sermon preached by a zealous man, for the Lord. It got me thinking about my life, and what I would do in the pursuit of Christ. What would I do if the going got tough? What would I do if God called me away from my family and friends? What would I do if it meant giving up everything, including my life. There are several examples in scripture, and by Jesus explaining what it means to give everything. See, God is not a priority on your list somewhere, he’s not the top of your list, he’s the one and only priority in our lives. When Jesus said in Luke 14:25-27 25 “Now great multitudes went with Him. And He turned and said to them, 26 “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. 27 And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.” He’s not actually telling you to hate anyone, but asking if you’ve counted the cost. You may be asked to leave them, to let them go, or as a Christian, you may be removed from the family. Are you willing to pay the cost? 

It’s an interesting question, and recently it seems God has continued to put this very thing at the forefront of everything I’ve been saying and doing. We in America don’t know what persecution looks like, and because of that, I believe we have become complacent to the word of God. I think we’ve chosen to sit back on our lazy boy pew’s and listen, but we do not take the word into our hardened hearts. We have failed Jesus as we are lukewarm. We are neither hot nor cold for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We have allowed the Devil to sneak in because we have not been vigilant to see the enemy moving. Sadly, the enemy is all around us, deeply intrenched in our schools, jobs, government, homes, and we have done nothing to stop it or prevent it. Satan has control over our colleges, shaping the minds of our children, and much like Nebuchadnezzar in the book of Daniel, they are manipulating young minds, brain washing them, and turning them against the church. And we do nothing. 

Most today do not go to church even once a week, yet claim the title of Christian. They do not know scripture, because their Bible hasn’t been picked up off the shelf in ages, if they even have one. They do not pray nor commune with the Father in any way. They wouldn’t know a counterfeit or the real Christian pastor, standing in front of them. How dare us wine and complain about what’s going on around us, when we have only ourselves to blame. When Israel would not repent of its wicked ways, God handed them over to their enemies. When we do not repent of our wicked ways, we are handed over to our own reprobate minds. 

We are corrupt and enemies of God. When we do not love God’s commands, and that means all of them, not picking and choosing which ones to follow, and not follow, we are showing God that we are sinful, immoral, lustful, selfish, unrighteous, and more. Paul explains in very clear cut terms, who will not inherit the kingdom of God in 1 Corinthians. 

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 “9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.”

There are words here that may put some off, and as I heard last night, that’s exactly what Jesus did. That’s exactly what John did. And the book of Jude. A vine to be trimmed. Chaff to be thrown away. The cost of following Christ is high, and in the midst of heavy persecution, Paul expresses to Follow Christ. During this time where he tells the church to be bold in Christ, Nero who was placing the blame of burning down half of Rome on Christians. He was feeding Christians to hungry dogs and lions. He was burning Christians alive as human torches lining the streets of Rome. 

Jesus tells his people to follow him. He bled and died, and if we are to pick up our cross, that means we may follow in his very footsteps. It may cost us our lives. As I heard it put last night, are you the real deal, or a fake, phony, and fraud? Do you love God, and his Son, and his children, and his commands? Most of us look at the commandments in scripture as guidelines. Similar to the pirate’s code. Not really set immutable rules, but more like the direction on a compass with a plus or minus a few degrees. The problem is, if you’re off by only a degree, you may hit your distance and never reach your destination. Heaven is that way. If you follow the false gospel, you may never hit your destination, oh you’ll hit a destination, but not where you wanted to go. 

Christianity is like that; Jesus tells us the path to Heaven is a narrow way. The problem is, when people think they are ‘following’ Christ, they really aren’t. There will be some who claim Christians, but much like Judas, are the antichrist sitting in the pews next to us. Or, are we one of them? As I heard the sermon last night, I left with both an encouraged, but also heavy heart. As I have grown in my faith, I have come to find what the narrow path truly means. When I look around, I have begun to wonder, how many are culturally Christian, and how many are the real in their heart, sacrificial Christian. 

So why do I bring this up? As a Christian, in my heart recently has been heavy for the lives of the lost. I have wondered what I could do to get the word out to more people. How can I get this blog to more people who need Jesus? How can I get my podcast to more people who do not know Jesus as the Christ? While I do not have answers to this currently, I am left with a simple prayer, God use me how you see fit, and forgive me of my sins and short comings. I want my actions and deeds to be pleasing to you, as a child only wants approval of their parent. I do not wish to upset or disappoint my Heavenly Father. I want to be useful and not a stumbling block for others. In my heart I feel disappointed when I feel I have laid out a solid message hoping it’s the Holy Spirit guiding me, and not me myself, but so few see it. I know God will work and if my writings are to be spread, it must be the will of the Father. I just pray I am being obedient, and relevant, and not delivering scripture poorly or incorrectly. 

What are you? Are you a true believer, or a fraud? Are you willing to sacrifice all for the Kingdom? Are you Judas sitting amongst the Apostles blending in? The message I heard last night really got me thinking, not about my own salvation, but if I’m doing enough, if I’m getting the word out there, if I’m bold enough, and unapologetic for Christ. Let us set our compasses to the North to follow Jesus. We ought not deviate from North because even a one degree off the Azimuth, at a mile is off by 92.2 feet. IF we are to follow Christ, while there is God’s grace, we must follow his message, and be zealous for his word. We must be faithful in our walk, loving his children, loving the father and not idols, or the world. We must love his word, desire to learn it, to know it, and most of all, to follow it. We should have a burning desire to get closer to God, and know him, and have a relationship with him. Scripture tells us what the cost of following Jesus is. Today there are many slight variations of what it means to follow Jesus. Variations on the gospel to look like the truth, and act like the truth, all except a couple small points. To follow Christ is to love ALL his commandments. To follow Christ is to give up everything that takes your eyes off the Father and the Kingdom. As an American I feel we are asleep at the wheel. Satan has crept in and taken over several vital institutions in our nation, and is now teaching things to children while the adults are so busy with work and other distractions, they don’t know. Our children are gone away at college and are being taught all kinds of theories which are false, and yet we stand by and wonder what happened to our once great nation. We have failed, and the punishment has been enacted, we have been turned over to our reprobate minds, and we must face the bitter consequences of giving an inch to sin. Most of us are no longer facing North towards Christ. We are off, being pulled away by the enemy or our own self-induced ignorance. Sadly, we don’t understand what it means to be on the narrow path. And many will be turned away from the Lord when he says: “I never knew you, depart from me, you who practice lawlessness.” Matthew 7:23 We should all take pause and understand the cost, and see if we are truly following or not. 

Are we zealous for the Lord? Are we burning with a desire to please him, to praise him, to worship him, to serve him? Or are we too enthralled at our own lives, and we don’t have time for God? If we are putting anything before God we are placing idols ahead of Him, and we are disobeying his commands. God, Gods Son, Gods People, the Love of the Commands. What were the two commands? Love God with your heart mind and soul. Love one another as yourselves. Scripture tells us Love covers a multitude of sins. When you don’t forgive, lose your temper, covet your neighbor’s new toy, get upset at that driver in front of you, judge someone by the color of their skin, or what they wear, grumble at church, gossip, hold a grudge, you are not loving one another. We need a wake-up call, and we need to check ourselves. Where are we? Are we at a 0 degree azimuth, or are we at a 1* or more off? An imitation gospel, no matter how close it is, is still a fake, a cheap knock off. How would we know? Read, and know, and understand scripture. Do not be deceived, there are Judas’s in the church today. Make sure you’re not one. 

Go in peace, love, mercy, and grace. Read scripture and open your heart to God’s Holy and Perfect Word. Be steadfast in the word, but share in love. 

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Where is YOUR Faith?

Where is YOUR Faith?

Matthew 14:22-23

22 Immediately Jesus made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side, while He sent the multitudes away. 23 And when He had sent the multitudes away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. Now when evening came, He was alone there. 24 But the boat was now in the middle of the sea, tossed by the waves, for the wind was contrary.

25 Now in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. 26 And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out for fear.

27 But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.”

28 And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.”

29 So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. 30 But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!”

31 And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” 32 And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased.

33 Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Him, saying, “Truly You are the Son of God.”

We all go through stuff in life. We all face demons, sickness, fears, disappointments, persecutions, loss, heartache, and more. We each have a choice in our lives, to follow Christ, or not to follow Christ. For many there is a feeling in their souls that something is wrong with the world, and they have a calling, they just don’t know what it is. Not everyone will feel this calling, and some will be led to seek and destroy those who do. When we look at the story of the Storm, and Jesus walking on water, yes it’s miraculous that Jesus has control over space, time, matter, energy, and the laws of physics. As creator of everything, those things are quite understandable. The story, in my not so professional opinion, is actually about faith. Peter, very much afraid, sees the Christ, and hearing the voice of the shepherd knows it’s Christ, but sadly, lets his fear get in the way. ‘IF it is you.” Is what he says. How often do we doubt like Peter? How often do we question and ignore the voice of our Lord, Savior, Creator, Redeemer?  Jesus replies with an amazing and terrifying test of faith. Peters’ faith was already doubting since he didn’t believe it was Jesus at first. So now, Jesus is bringing forth a tremendous act, “Trust me.” Jesus is telling Peter, and in Me (Jesus) you can do anything. For the moment Peter was in faith, he was obedient, and suddenly, lost focus on the Lord, and began to sink. Jesus reaches down, and rescues Peter. Without hesitation, Jesus rebukes Peter, you who have such little faith. Why did you doubt? 

The truth is, Peter represents all of us in life. Many Christians today, are A: not true Christians, but Christian only by name. Most people who say they are Christian, do so because of family ties, upbringing, or living in a socially Christian community. This does not mean they have a personal relationship with God, and most certainly means God the Father does not know them on a personal level. This doesn’t mean there is not that calling upon their lives. Many Christians are in fact like Thomas. Doubting, and questioning till the very end. They need proof. To those Christians I say, the proof is there, just follow the evidence, and see for yourself, it all points to Jesus as the Christ. 

But let us return to the faith of Peter. I have been going through a lot recently, and I have seen others around me go through a lot. It’s not an easy thing navigating this life sometimes. The Devil and his myriad of demons, attack us every day. We face temptations, and questions, situations, and thoughts, sensory inputs, of every kind. Today with the invention of the internet, television, endless supplies of shows and movies, music, and news, we are bombarded with societies inputs, and sad to say, that input is not one of Jesus Christ, but of the enemy. Paul warns Timothy to keep the faith and fight the good fight. Paul warns the church at Ephesus to hold fast, and wear the Armor of God. Withstand the attacks of the Devil, and stand their ground. We too must heed that advice and the warnings. For many of us, we are in the midst of the hurricane as we speak. 

I don’t usually get super personal, but scripture calls us to bare one another’s burdens, and sometimes it’s good to know we aren’t alone in the fight. Recently I have been struggling with some deep physical pain. The pain I have experienced has kept me in bed for more than a day at a time. On days like that, I do very little. I am unable to do much when the pain levels get that high, and even the medication I have, the stretching, foam rolling, and rest, all seem to fall short. As a man in my 40’s, I find it hard to manage, not the pain itself, but the emotional, and mental drain this kind of Chronic pain leaves behind. On top of the pain I feel, I have concerns within my immediate family that takes my attention. I have friends suffering. I see the state of my country and I weep for it. I live in a place that I no longer recognize. A place where much like the fires and darkness of Mordor in Lord of The Rings, is spreading across Middle Earth. Here too, the darkness in spreading in my very country and I am powerless to stop it. Oh, I try, I try by writing this blog, I try by preaching and teaching on my podcast, helping my community, and not keeping my faith to myself. All I can do is pray, and have faith. 

Having faith in the storm is perhaps the hardest thing a Christian can do. Like Christ said, build your house upon the rock and it’ll withstand the storm. Build it upon the sand, and watch it crumble. I have seen my faith crumble, and my world around it, as it was built upon the sand. I know what it’s like to be Peter on the water, and get scared, and begin to fall into the dark abyss of the sea. Not in a literal term of course, but in an emotional sense. In order to withstand the storm, and not sink into the water, not have the house crumble into the sea, we must realize it isn’t of our own strength, or our own ability to fight the war. Truly Truly I say to you, it is faith that wins over the darkness. Jesus walking on water is amazing, but what Jesus asks of Peter is not to trust in his all-powerful being, that controls the weather and physics, but to just have faith in Him. That faith, is where it all must start. Your faith is the foundation in which Christ builds upon in your life. If your faith is weak, your life will crumble when the right storm hits. 

Peter will one day find his courage, much like Peregrin Took from Lord of The Rigs, “Do not fear, young Peregrin Took, you shall find your courage.” (LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring) When Peter finds his courage, he is no longer afraid to speak out for Christ. He is no longer afraid to face death. He is no longer afraid to face the storm. He becomes bold, and firm, and even stands up to the mighty and influential Sanhedrin, “We will not be silenced, and will not stop talking about Jesus.” He tells them Acts 4:18-21 18 “So they called them and commanded them not to speak at all nor teach in the name of Jesus. 19 But Peter and John answered and said to them, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you more than to God, you judge. 20 For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard.” 21 So when they had further threatened them, they let them go, finding no way of punishing them, because of the people, since they all glorified God for what had been done.”

Peter went from afraid of the waves, to denying Christ, to eventually being martyred upside down on the cross for Christ. We must find our courage to stand bold on the word of God, and without compromising it, without changing it, share the Gospel with love and gentleness. We are to be bold in our faith, strong in courage, and resist the darkness circling round. Our lives must be built around our faith, and that faith will be tested. We’ve begun seeing signs of a new age of persecution rising up in the world, and some very close to home. Christianity will be the focus of much debate in the coming time. I fear persecution will one day reach these shores like that of old, as we have entered a time of weakness among men. For many of us in the midst of the storm in our lives, I daresay, we have not yet seen what a true storm is. If I put it in hurricane status, most of us at most have ever seen a category 4 hurricane. Without the threat of death for your faith, hiding, never wondering when the government will come and take you from home, I would say a low Cat 4 at worst. Illness, war, divorce, substance, are all bad, but not being put on a post, dowsed in oil, and lit on fire bad. Or thrown into a colosseum and forced to fight off lions and tigers and other Apex predators bad. No, we have not yet witnessed storms of that magnitude, but when the day comes, if the day comes within our lives, we must dig deep and have the faith to stand firm. 

Paul on the ship in the storm had great faith in Jesus to see them through. He had been given word on what to do to survive the storm, and while in the end, the entire ship was lost, trust in Paul, and Paul trusting and having faith in the Lord, all hands survived the shipwreck after a 14-day storm lost at sea. Paul’s faith is not seen to have waivered in the midst of the storm. Paul’s faith inspired the men around him, and even the unbelievers on the ship, saw the Holy and mighty power of God at work in Paul. 

Our faith may be tested and in that testing we will grow or fall. The strong in faith shall push through, and the seeds that grow in the shallow dirt shall burn away under the heat of the sun. Since the complete fracture of my foundation in 2016, I have come to have a stronger platform than I ever had before. I was weak in my faith and the world, the prince of the power of the air, came down upon me with full force, and I broke. Just because we break doesn’t mean we’re out of the fight. Sometimes it’s in our brokenness Jesus will pick up the pieces, and rebuild us in his Image. He picks us up, and that longing, that tiny ember inside us that has always set us apart from the world, is ignited by Jesus. That calling is turned into something more, and we find what we were missing all along was Christ Jesus in our lives. Not the cursory view of Christ, but the real relationship with him. Christians are forged in the fires of this world. The demons attack us relentlessly stoking the fire in which steel is forged into blades of magnificent might. The sword, the weapon in which a Christian will both wield for attack, and to defend one’s faith. We must grow our faith by knowing and trusting God’s word. We must hone our faith by training, and practicing our mind with the scripture of God. We don’t have Jesus with us in the flesh, but we have his Word left for us to read, to study, to place into our hearts so we may not sin against him. We have the Holy Spirit dwelling within us, and that friends, is true power. Not power of our own, but God with Us. The storms come and though you may not be in one right now, the day will come when you are. You have to have strong faith, deep rooted faith, so the storm won’t easily topple the tree, or break the foundation of your house. 

Eye of the Storm, By Ryan Stevenson: 

In the eye of the storm

You remain in control

And in the middle of the war

You guard my soul

You alone are the anchor

When my sails are torn

Your love surrounds me

In the eye of the storm

No matter how bad the storm gets, even if the storm is to take your life, have faith in Jesus, for the worst thing that can happen is the world takes your body, but it cannot take your soul. None of us can add one single day by worrying. None of us can add one day to our Holy Devine Destiny. God the Father is in complete control, and when you are in his hands, no one can pluck you from his grip. We must have faith to step out of the boat, but never lose sight of Jesus. We must have him in our focus at all times. Whether we eat, or drink, whatever we do, do in the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31. Peter fell the moment he looked at the world, and not Christ. Peter was rebuked for his poor faith. We need to learn from Peter, and faith from Paul, and the love of Christ like Mary, who wiped Jesus’ feet with her hair and oils (John 12:3). Let us not be Christians in name alone, but true followers of Christ. Let us not be one of those who in John 6:66 followed him no more. Let us not be a journeyman on the path to destruction, but that of the narrow way to the Father. Let us have faith like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego to face the fiery furnace in the book of Daniel. Let us have courage like David to stand firm when the enemies are at in front of us. Not because of our own power, but we know the Power of Christ. We know what he has done, what he will do, and it is not for our sake, but for his Glory alone. We are dead in our sins, and if the lions take our lives, all the faster we unite with Jesus in Heaven. Do not fear the storm, for each of us has a date with death, and none can prolong our time by one minute if it be the Fathers will. Let us let go of our fear, let us let go of the worry, and doubts. Let us put our sights upon the one true King, and Lord of lords, and trust in Him with our whole heart, the priority of our lives, and let us merely stand firm in our faith, while HE fights the war. Let us be the strong, courageous, zealous warriors we are called to be, but put our whole faith, in Christ. 

Go in Peace, and Love, Sharing the Gospel and Making Disciples of all the Nations. 

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