Tag: Veterans

Let’s Get Rich

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Let’s Get Rich:

I have spent the vast majority of my life a poor individual. Not that my character is poor, no, I mean my wallet. Growing up I didn’t know what it meant to have money. I remember one Thanksgiving a giant basket of food was dropped on our doorstep just a few days before the holiday. Why us? I wondered. I knew we were always hurting for money though because, I received free lunch in school. I knew there were three categories, full pay, discount, and free, and I knew it was based on your family’s income. I can also recall Christmas’s where I know my grandpa foot the bill for my presents. I knew money was tight when the food stamps ran out because, there was little or no money left for food. I knew mac and cheese, chicken, because it was cheap, and hot dogs. Oh, and one cannot forget the cereal dinners. I’m not angry about it, because no matter what, or who it came from, God always provided, and I never went hungry. Yes, there were times a meal came from a neighbor, or two, but while I noticed, I never felt like I was going to go without food. Summers were a little more challenging, but I spent a lot of time away from home, so of course lunch time rolls or dinner rolls around, and I ate with friends then too. Again, God always provided. I didn’t always get the newest toy I wanted, and I rarely had new clothes, but I was clothed. Even when other kids were cruel because of what I wore, at least I had clothing. Even if I didn’t feel that at the time. Bullying can be tough for a child. 

When I moved out from home, and I moved in with my grandpa, meals changed. The type of house I lived in changed, and eventually I wound up with a car, that grandpa paid for. I got myself a job when I was old enough. I had spending money. I learned early that those with money, ought to be generous towards those who don’t. While in school, I was often the guy people turned too for a few dollars for the soda machine, or a snack from the vending machines. Even gas from time to time. When I was in the military, I had no bills, and no expenses, minus a few dollars for haircuts, or pens or markers needed in basic training. Needless to say, the money from my paycheck was all going to savings. I wasn’t rich by any means, but when my aunt had a major stroke midway through training, I had the funds to help out. I sent money that was used to support for my cousins during that time. At some point early in my career, I sent somewhere around $5k home to a friend to buy a car. A little while later, I sent around $2K to help another friend with college payments. Why do I say all this? It isn’t for my own pat on the back, or even for the recognition. It’s about something much deeper, and much more important. 

Today, I’m sure many people were worried about the end times. I’ve seen post after post about preparing for the end. It honestly reminded me of Y2K, and 2012. I spent the day outside with family peering up at the beauty of God’s creation, and his perfect plan for the universe. An astronomical event, of this kind being rare, was something I dared not miss. Not once did I think the end times were coming. No, I just wanted to enjoy the sight, and marvel at God’s creation. While I was doing this, I know thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, or millions of people were indeed worried about what this rare eclipse could mean. Is this the end of the world, or the beginning of the end? IS this a sign from God? I’m not trying to poke fun of anyone, but for those who don’t know the word, it’s easy to let fear guide your actions and thoughts.

How are these two things related? Thank you for asking. Ultimately it comes down to God’s word. While there are millions of people giving every bit of money they have, albeit not much, to churches in the hopes of sewing a seed, and God doubling or more their investment, they are putting their hope in money to change their lives. In the same breath millions of people believe in Jesus, but also superstitions, and mystical energies (Not the Holy Spirit), and put their hope in everything but God. In reality, both are equally as dangerous to one’s own soul. One cannot be a slave to two masters. One cannot serve God and also superstition and astrology. One cannot serve God while serving their desire for riches and prosperity. Scripture is very clear on these points. If we are more worried about our bank accounts than serving God, we might need a spiritual checkup. If we are more worried about what our zodiac sign says this month, we might need a spiritual checkup. I cannot help but wish to be rich in my life. It’s a longing I cannot explain, and a desire that rests above all else. It isn’t for money though, but rather rich in the spirit. I desire to be rich in the fruits of the spirit. 

Galatians 5:22-23

“22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.” 

Love: Agape- Divine love, Christs love to man, 

Joy: Joy- delight

Peace: spiritual peace, 

Longsuffering: Patience in troubles and difficulties

Kindness: goodness, excellence, uprightness, goodness of heart. 

Goodness: A sterner word for kindlier. 

Faithfulness: In active sense of faith, belief, trust, confidence, religious faith in God or Christ. 

Glentleness: meekness: Having power but refraining from using it. 

Self-Control: Mastery, control over one’s self. 

Each of these is the Biblical definition of the original word in Greek. The ‘be full of the spirit’, is to be full of the fruit of the spirit. One does not simply wake up one day and boom, there it is, you’re a super Christian now. No, my friends, it takes work, and effort to be full of these things. As I said, I wish to be rich in these things. I was always blessed with a caring heart, sometimes too much so for my own good. Meaning, it led me to disaster more times than I could count. Perhaps, I lacked wisdom in my youth, to decern a good friend, from a bad one, or a lack of protecting my heart. Either way, I often gave sacrificially not for my own benefit, but because I felt led to help where I could. When I was in need as a child, I often had people going out of their way to help me, so in my heart, I felt I needed to do the same. My prayer today, is that someday, I am blessed with the funds to get back to where I was in my younger days as a man, before the dark days came. 

A few bad choices led me down the road of destruction, and so far in my life, God has not restored what I have lost. He has however never stopped blessing me. While I do live paycheck to paycheck, and I do struggle to make ends meet, and even struggle putting food on the table sometimes, He’s never not shown up. Somehow, some way, God always provides. Does He not take care of the birds of the air, or the grass in the field, how much more does he love you. Let tomorrow worry for itself, for today has enough problems. (Matthew 6:26-27) What we really need to be focused on, is the love of God, and knowing Him. We need to be focused on growing that relationship, and being rich in love, and mercy, grace, and forgiveness, and the fruits of the spirit. If we spent more time focused on those things, rather than trying to line our pockets with riches, that we’re likely to use for sinful idols, we may actually find ourselves better off. 

Nowhere in scripture does it say you’ll be rich if you follow Christ. In fact, scripture warns about the love of money. 1 Timothy 6:10 “10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.” It warns about where you put your heart. Matthew 6:21 21 “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” It warns about the idols we collect. Isaiah 45:20B “They have no knowledge, Who carry the wood of their carved image, And pray to a god that cannot save.” If God blesses you, that is entirely God’s prerogative. If he doesn’t, that’s also his prerogative. Scripture doesn’t say God wants you to prosper now, meaning never have trials, and be not be poor. And God’s plan for your life, is for you to worship Him, to give him glory, and thanks for what you’ve been given. Knowing what is meant for you, or the nation of Israel, is vital to properly exegesis of scripture. You are not in the Bible, and while we can glean, and take things out that apply to us, we need to know the difference in how everything applies. Let me give you an example. 

If you read Exodus, and you see how God gives Israel manna from Heaven, does that mean God will do the exact same thing for you? No, of course not, but what it does mean, is, as the people of Israel were forced to trust and rely on God for provision, so shall you. Trusting in God’s plan, no matter if it means we go through a storm, or not, that He will see us through it. Do not expect to get rich as a Christian since, in reality, we don’t see in scripture Christians who were rich. We do see those helping the church sacrificially. We see in the NT scripture says to give sacrificially, never in the NT does it say give a 10th, or a tithe. We are called to give yes, but based on one’s own heart and ability. Nowhere in scripture does it mean if you give 100 Denari, then you’ll get 250 in return somehow. If you’re focused on the seeds of wealth being sewn, and not the seeds of the Gospel into hearts of the unbeliever, you may be following a false, fake, counterfeit gospel. 

My prayer is for myself to continue to grow in the Holy Spirit. I wish to grow closer to God, and have a deeper understanding of his word and wishes for my life. I pray my gifts be put to use in the service of his kingdom. I wish to return to a position in my life where I can be just as generous as the days of old. I do pray that someday I no longer live in a tent, but till that day comes, I am happy for the canvas roof over my head, the warm bed to sleep in at night, a family who loves me, and food upon my table. I have worked hard in my life and my body is broken at an early age. I will no longer make large sums of money, and as a disabled veteran, not even making social security, I don’t even make a 1/3 of what’s required in today’s economy for a house, (where I live). I struggle with finances, let alone make what the new nationwide average says I need to live comfortably. But even though I never expect to make lots of money, I know God will somehow make a way for me to not be in the tent forever. One thing I know about God is, He blesses the faithful. Sometimes blessings don’t always look like what we may hope for, or expect, but they are always there. 

Being rich doesn’t mean having a lot of money, no, it means having an abundance of love. It means having more mercy from God, than I could ever deserve. Being rich is being blessed with loving friends and family. Being rich is being thankful for what you have, and counting your blessings one by one. Being rich is God providing your needs, even if He doesn’t provide your every want. Being rich is having physical ailments that leave you in chronic daily pain, but having so much love in your life, the pain can’t ruin your day. Let us want to get rich in God’s love and blessings in our lives. Not of earthly stuff that will quickly pass away, but in the things that really matter. 1 Timothy 6:9-11 9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. WE MUST BE CAREFUL WITH WHAT WE FOCUS ON! The things we turn into idols, even if we don’t mean too, can draw us away from God. Matthew 6:19 19 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; We cannot put a price on love, mercy, grace, joy, peace, gentleness, longsuffering, goodness, and self-control, the greatest of all is love. If you’ve got love, the rest will take care of itself, and knowing we are loved by Christ, and the Father will take care of us, money is less important. Sure, we all need money to survive, and sometimes it takes hard work, and dedication, and perseverance, but that just means we need to be active in changing our situation (when able). We must work as scripture says. We are to be gracious, and generous, when we can, but be abundant in the fruit of the spirit to all. Money should never be our focus, and certainly not our priority. God is the priority, and repenting of our sins, and putting our faith in Christ, not to rid us of the storm, but to be there with us in the midst of the storm. Let us get rich together, not of gold, and silver, diamonds, and gems, but let us get rich in the spirit of God. Go, and seek God first the Kingdom of God, in accordance to the scriptures. 

Peace and Love be upon you. 

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And email me for prayer requests at thearrowpreacher@yahoo.com

Disabled, But Fighting

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Disabled, But Fighting

This year my health took a rough turn making a major change in my life very real. I became a total and permanent disabled veteran. As things changed my ability to maintain a job disintegrated and left me wondering ‘what now?’. I have been asking God to show me my next purpose in life. Not only has my work life changed forever, but my change of health has also affected my ministry work, and volunteer work with the church. These changes have left me in deep prayer, and sometimes fighting depression. 

One of the major challenges of being disabled is not the physical disabilities, but the change in lifestyle. Disabled veterans are on a set income. The average cost for a mortgage in the US in 2022 is $1,275 per month on a 30-year fixed mortgage, and $1,751/month for a 15-year term. When you look at a budget how much, or what percentage of your income should go to your house? According to Dave Ramsey, 1/3 or less of your income should go to your house payment. Now, that being said, how much do veterans make? The amount might surprise you, $3,332.06. It’s pretty easy to see, average mortgage costs is nearly half. What that means is, veterans are not likely to be able to afford a home. There are many veterans who are disabled who have not been given the rating of 100%. The amount of homeless veterans is 11% of the homeless population. The estimated number of homeless veterans on any given night is 40,000. Something to keep in mind about homeless veterans is location. If you are a veteran, disabled and living in New York City, you are not given more money based on location. The ability to pay for housing in New York as a disabled veteran is impossible. Along with California, Hawaii, Massachusetts, and several other states. 

What does this do to a veteran’s state of mind? A veteran who cannot work, who cannot take care of their family, or even themselves, has a detrimental effect on their mental health. A veteran feeling of usefulness is important because it drastically affects everything they do. I myself have experienced deep depression after found myself discouraged at not being able to afford a home. While I am not homeless, in order for me to have a place of my own, I moved into a tent in the back yard of the parent I take care of. My physical issues have in turn made even simple things such as yard work, to be a challenge. Now with a looming full cervical fusion of my spine, which comes with a six-month minimum recovery time, I feel more helpless as ever. How can I support a family? How can I buy a house big enough for my growing family? How can I take care my parent, when I myself need help? 

Being a disabled veteran however is not about being a victim, it’s about what was survived. For me, the war took a toll on my body, perhaps more so than it did my mind. Injuries are part of serving in the military, and even with everything I deal with today, I would not change any of it. My military service has opened doors for me I would never have dreamt of. I have met amazing people and have been to amazing places. Being a disabled veteran comes with its challenges and hardships, but I wouldn’t change a thing.

It takes a lot to give up so much for the country you love. Freedoms aren’t free and it takes people willing to sacrifice everything to keep tyranny at bay. The loss of freedoms is always only one generation away. Knowing and understanding what it is that gives freedom and protecting that freedom is key, and veterans do this every day. I am thankful for everything I have experienced, and thankful for the veteran family I have. Even though I find myself in a tough spot financially, God gives me what I need right now. While I cannot afford a house, or a new car, I have shelter, transportation, and food. I am grateful for what I have, and I will continue to pray for an opportunity to be a home owner again. I will continue to pray for a way to support and take care of my family. I will continue to pray for my ability to serve at church, and serve the veteran community. Please know, this is not a complaint, but rather showing what our men and women go through as disabled veterans. Men and women gave their bodies for this country. Also, please remember that not all wounds are visible. Veterans see things and experience things that are horrific so you, here at home, hopefully never have too. We are coming out of a two-decade long war, and it’s left its mark. Please continue to pray for veterans and their families as we traverse the healing process. God bless this country, God have mercy upon us, and God bless our veterans. Psalm 144:1 “Blessed be the Lord my Rock, Who trains my hands for war, And my fingers for battle My lovingkindness and my fortress, My high tower and my deliverer, My shield and the One in whom I take refuge, Who subdues [a]my people under me. 3 Lord, what is man, that You take knowledge of him? Or the son of man, that You are mindful of him? 4 Man is like a breath; His days are like a passing shadow.” 

HAPPY VETERANS DAY 2022

The Tears Fall

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I can’t help but let the tears fall.
The thoughts swirl in my mind.
I hear the explosion.
I see the smoke.
The scorched Earth.
The hole left behind, swallows much.
My mind jumps to the RPG’s, the bullets.
Jumping around from day to day,
The fear, the adrenalin high.
The good days and the bad.
So many memories,
So many lost.
The sights and sounds never leave me.
The tears fall.
Anger and sadness fill my heart.
The tears fall.
The bullets ping off the door.
The water is cool, but we’re exposed.
The sights stay in my mind, always there.
The tears fall.
A casket with a flag, the soldiers Cross in the sunset.
A country that forgets. The anger bubbles.
A government that falls short.
Friends lost.
The tears fall.
Too many dog tags.
68 gone, plus more over the years.
The tears fall…..

Raise a glass Sabers

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A group of men fought together so many years ago. They fought together as strangers but became family. On this day, a day of brokenness, that family suffered loss. That loss would break us, but through the ashes we would be reborn a stronger bond than we ever thought possible. Loss would rock our world, but never would that sacrifice be forgotten. Love my brothers. And adopted sisters. Eacho, Twyman, McGowan, Grimes. Sabers, raise a glass.

The Veteran

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The Veteran

No matter the politics, or which side of the fence you sit on, the veteran serves this country. The constitution that all of you Americans enjoy the freedoms given, was paid for and continues to be paid for by the veteran. No matter what you’re faith, your heritage, respect for out veterans that gives us the protection we so appreciate. It is by the blood we have the greatest gift we could ever hope for. Beyond our beloved country we have the kingdom of Heaven we fight for. I am a United States veteran of foreign wars but beyond that and more importantly I’m a veteran of this spiritual war we fight daily. I am a soldier for CHRIST AND I’M THANKFUL TO CALL MYSELF A VETERAN FOR GOD.

Just as veterans shed blood for our freedoms, Christ’s blood was shed for our sins, Hebrews 9-13-14“For if the blood of bulls and goats and the ashes of a heifer, sprinkling the unclean, sanctifies for the [b]purifying of the flesh, 14 how much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without [c]spot to God, cleanse your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?” While there is no more blood needed to be sacrificed, the continuing war rages on and we are on the front line of an invisible war, that we cannot see, but we feel the effect every day. Satan and his demons interfere in our human affairs, but no matter the day, Christ still sits at the right hand of the father on high, and we are always on the winning side. Freedom always takes blood, and blood with no spots was shed for you and me, and all those before, and all those to come after. How wonderful it is to know the army of saints in which I fight for. God, Jesus Christ is the greatest general of all time. Jesus Christ’s war plan is perfect, and we soldiers of Christ shall fear not for we know the way the story ends. We shall not fret over the lost, and do not cry for saint’s who’ve fallen in the name of the Lord who were beautiful soldiers who live for the Lord, instead rejoice and be glad in their new home seated in front of the father in Heaven. Be grateful for the saints who’ve been slain in the fight against darkness, for they are at peace now. I shall not fear the evil for I know who art with me who protects me. Psalm 27:1-2“The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid? 2 When the wicked came against me. To eat up my flesh, My enemies and foes, They stumbled and fell.”

I fought a war of men, and now I fight a war, waged in the spiritual. We sacrifice by picking up our cross and letting go of this world. Much like picking up a weapon giving up a life at home with families, soldiers prepare for battle, rush into danger and fight the war. The sacrifice is never in vein and we shall be blessed for more than we could ever hope for. Stay focused on our General and trust with every breath we take until the last. We will be rewarded for fighting the good fight, and finishing the race.

Cape Cod Soldier Ride

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Cape Cod Soldier Ride

Hello everyone, it’s a pleasure to be back and I look forward to hearing from all of you. As you probably noticed I was gone for a few days, and let me tell you why. I am a combat Army veteran. I served in Iraq where I was wounded in a non-combat incident. Since that time however we learned I suffered a spinal injury and I was slowly watching my discs degrade and the curvature change in my C-Spine (neck). Last year I suffered a major spinal injury when a disc ruptured nearly ending in Meningitis. Since that time I have gotten involved with different veteran organizations and the one that’s been the most helpful to date is Wounded Warrior Project. In February I talked about going on a Project Odyssey, and this last week I attended a Soldier Ride up in Cape Cod Massachusetts. I’d like to take a moment to talk about how impactful these types of events are, and what they’ve done for me.

A soldier ride is a semi long distance bicycle ride designed to push your challenge level, but also give you time to connect with other wounded warriors. It’s designed to build comradery. For me being a wounded warrior with an upper back injury I was put on a Recumbent trike. I was able to ride in comfort as far as my back was concerned but found that the bike is unforgiving on any up grade hills. It was a challenge not to be understated.

Cape Cod Soldier Ride 2

I had the privilege of leading the way the first day. I was able to set the pace, and leading from the front I can’t tell you how much of an honor it was for me to finish strong. The weather conditions weren’t favorable for this ride, but that was alright with me. “What’s life without a little challenge. We can never reach our potential without adversity.“ (Arrow Preacher) I found the challenge to be just enough. The hills, the distance, the rain, all pushed the mental challenges as well as the physical. For many, being on a bike after so many years they found challenges in other areas, such as riding on that upright bike seat for instance. For many this seat pushed their physical challenges (leaving their bottoms back on the trail) and their mental state, as they tried to overcome their discomfort. Although everyone faced challenges of their own, no one quit, no one gave up, and everyone finished strong. I was able to watch as everyone behind me crossed that finish line faster then any group had before on that particular trail. We as warriors lived the warrior code. Every single person was positive, they were encouraging their brothers and sisters, and never did anyone ever quit the fight. To me this embodied 2 Timothy 4:7“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” Even at the end for me, as I struggled, I found help from my brothers and sisters as they were literally giving me a push to help me keep pace. I cannot thank those warriors enough for the encouragement, the physical sacrifice as they put their hard energy into helping me keep up the fight. But everyone contributed in their own way, and every single veteran should hold their head with pride and honor for what they accomplished this week.

A soldier ride isn’t just about two days of 20 plus miles for bike rides equaling just more then 40 miles total, it’s also about the connection with other veterans who’ve seen trials and tribulations in the name of service to their country. A soldier ride allows us to connect with one another building our support structure, and building relationships that will hopefully stay with us the rest of our lives. It’s no wonder the name for a group of cyclers is called a peloton because as we warriors embraced the suck in this ride, we also embraced one another building our own peloton for life. We have been given a blessing from God to meet people from all walks of life that share a common bond, and that bond of service can never be broken. We will all move forward in our lives and find ourselves facing the world again, but it is up to us if we choose to face those challenges alone. From this event, and hopefully many more to follow, we will continue to grow, continue to heal, and continue to overcome the many demons we face every single day. Military life isn’t for the faint of heart, and it can leave scars that we carry with us the rest of our lives. These scars are physical, emotional, and sometimes spiritual, but in everything we do now, we have a peloton to lean back on. No matter if you are the soldier on top, or the soldier on bottom as the wounded warrior logo represents, at some point in our lives we will either have been one or the other, or we will be again in the future. It’s never to late to ask for help, and it’s never to late to give help. God has given us the chance to grow, to come together, and to fight a battle together. It’s up to us to use what we’ve learned, and pay it forward to other veterans who haven’t started their recovery yet. Share your experiences, and keep fighting the good fight. Never quit, never surrender, never leave a fallen comrade behind.

 

 

 

Rested

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Rested

 After a year and some change of writing it became clear to me a vacation was needed. I only intended to post for a year and one day, but as fate would have it, when that time came I was compelled to write and post. God however is not without a certain sense of humor. 16 days after my last blog I was suppose to write I was selected to attend a project Odyssey, hosted by Wounded Warrior Project. What I had planned was to write and blog my experiences, but instead I found poor cell phone signal, and no Internet. Fate it seems was for me to take a vacation like it or not.

The week would be a week I will not likely forget anytime soon. I found something along the way, and lost something also. I would face many challenges along my journey, my own odyssey. As I would go from day to day I would face it and it forced me to search and dig deep inside myself. While the physical challenges wouldn’t come till Wednesday, the emotional gut check started nearly right away. The entire Odyssey I would face my emotional challenge of not withdrawing into myself. I have always felt that I never truly fit in, even around people I knew for years. Finding my place has always been a challenge for me. For me the trials it seems has been in my own head, and not founded in reality. I didn’t realize this until September 21st 2016. I was faced with this reality and it forced me to do some deep internal soul searching. As my journey to find and make new friends seemed to be failing, God again, is not without a sense of humor. In one week I would make 13 new brothers, and find my own place within the group. I would go from Mango to Preacher. I would make a transformation and I would realize that I have a place in this world. I would meet a man that I would have such a close connection to because of our personal connection. We have influenced one another’s lives despite not ever meeting. It’s clear to me that God has been working in my life to bring a thousand pieces together.

Sometimes in our life we need to take a step back, and refocus our place. For me, this week gave me the opportunity to learn from others going through similar and worse situations then myself. The ability to step back and learn what it means to be a child of the King is so important. We are all important to God and how we choose to act, and behave is important. I hope in the following weeks I’m able to take what I have found and what I’ve learned, and put it to use within my daily blogs and more importantly my daily walk in Christ. Going forward without the set standard to post daily, now I will post when I am ready to post. Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” I know finding rest in today’s world is hard. We are a go society, and the idea of actually taking time off to rest, for many is a foreign ideal. The thing is we can easily become wrapped up in life and forget to live.

For years I have struggled to find myself, and feel at peace with the battle waging within. I saw myself in the mirror and questioned much. Facing the pain of if I fit in or not, and questioning my own self worth, I came to find peace this week. It’s not easy to live in the positivity and forcing a change in personality to be a person of light instead of darkness. From the time we have a thought, to the feeling, to action, we have the ability to make a choice to how we allow something to affect us. We are faced with perspective all the time in life, but with practice we can get better with not letting as much bother us, or at the very least, how long we allow it to stay in our lives. Peace, is a blessing, and a gift when it comes. Psalm 4:8 “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety.” Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, the life, and in our life, our faith will be what we have to grip to when the road gets bumpy. When you are lost, you must first rest to collect your thoughts. Take time to meditate on the word, slow your breathing, and re-center. When you are lost and weary rest your head on the lap of Abba. I went seeking friendship, but what I found was a friend within myself. I found a piece of myself that I thought was long forgotten. I am a warrior and I’m a warrior for Christ. I am worth more then I think I am, and in Jesus I am going to inherit paradise. I have been saved by the blood, and living in the living waters of the Holy Spirit gives me peace. Find your grace and peace. Find your breath, and follow the light. Take time every day to rest your mind in prayer and meditation. I think every day we need to take a short time and focus on our mental health. Give our brain time to rest. Don’t get lost in the world, get lost in the Word of God. I now have 13 Brothers to hold me accountable. I found more on my Odyssey then I ever imagined I could. I am worth while, I am a Warrior, and I am a child of the King.

 

Circle the Flame

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Circle the flame

Sometimes we get caught in our own prisons. We are drawn to the pain when that’s all we know anymore. We circle it like a moth to a flam. Unable to pull away but we either need to pull back or we get burnt.

When we spend so much time in struggles sometimes the struggle is all we know. I’ve seen it in soldiers who go back over and over again to war. The old phrase goes a war junkie. Sadly that expression isn’t far from the truth. It’s not war you fall in love with, it’s the feeling of purpose, it’s the feeling of being needed, and it’s the adrenalin high you get during your missions you eventually get addicted too. Many soldiers when they return find themselves idle and unsure of what to do with themselves. They feel like something is missing in their life and they seek the excitement of their lives, the brotherhood that’s now long gone. Many people find themselves getting into extreme sports when they return. Sports like speed racing, skydiving, bunji jumping, rock climbing, anything they can find to get that euphoria that adrenalin makes you feel.

There’s also a sense of belonging that subsides when you are away from your brothers and sisters. A connection with people that once you are out of the military is surprisingly hard to come by. As for myself, I’ve searched for many years now to find a new group of friends to replace the military family I once had, and instead all I’ve received is isolation. Making new friends isn’t easy anymore. Finding common ground with people isn’t easy, and sometimes it takes a long while to build a connection.

There’s a line from my favorite show Arrow “Sooner or later, we all go through a crucible. I’m guessing yours was that island. Most believe there are two types of people who go into a crucible. The ones who become stronger from the experience and survive it, and the ones who die. But there’s a third type. The ones who learn to love the fire and choose to stay in their crucible because it’s easier to embrace the pain when it’s all you know anymore.” (Sabastian Blood) I myself have always found it hard to relate to others after my time in the service. Though the missions were hell, and there were days I hated life, it seemed strange to return to life when I no longer recognized that life.

We in the military spend so much time training to be someone else, something else, but when it comes time to returning to civilian life it’s only a matter of days from soldier to civilian. Learning how to be a civilian again for some happens quickly, for others never at all. Sadly for many veterans the return to civilian life is so traumatic it eventually ends with suicide. Christmas time is hard on veterans. So many are suffering with loss, with PTSD, with homelessness, and while many of us are enjoying our morning of trees, music, gifts, and warmth, many veterans are just trying to find their one meal for the day and a warm place to lay their head. A matter of perspective to know that while we should enjoy our time away from the fire, there are some who are still in the flames.

We cannot circle the flames forever. At some point we need to break free and move forward. We don’t want to get caught in the burning flames so we need to find a way out. We cannot stay in the crucible forever and we need to learn to focus ourselves better. God expects us to fight the fight, and also expects us to love and give. As man it’s hard to juggle sometimes, so we must turn to the words God left for us to find our course. Romans 13:4 “For he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer.” We must fight when we must fight, but when it’s time for peace we must learn to also be the peacemaker. We must love all the time, and be just. When we find ourselves focusing on what God wants us to do, we will find we can be far more adaptable. Listen to the voice of truth and find your path.

If you’re a veteran and your circling the fire and you cant seem to break free, find help. Don’t try to do it alone. It’s a dangerous game staying in your crucible forever; instead find your escape back into life. Let yourself live, and let yourself love again. There is life after war, there is life after tragedy. For families who’ve lost their loved ones, for wives who’ve lost their husbands, for kids who’ve lost their parents, life will move on. Don’t let the tragedies you’ve suffered been in vain, instead use it to help others, find a way to share your story, and inspire others to persevere and move forward. Tomorrow will come if we are ready or not. Embrace it, and never forget tomorrow God’s still on the throne.

 

Finding your center

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Finding your center

Sitting on the side of the ledge of the island looking at the sunrise, the waves glistening from the sunlight making the water look like diamonds. The breeze tropical, the smell of the salt, the few clouds occasionally making the sun playing peek-a-boo with the ground below, the only thing you can think about is how wonderful life is. While this can sometimes be an allusion, the fact remains, you must learn to find your center in any situation you may find yourself.

As a Veteran I’ve had to place a lot of energy into keeping the anger built up to be subdued, and while for me particularly angry out bursts are rare for some, it’s an everyday occurrence. It’s so important to learn how to keep yourself centered and grounded. The Bible tells us to Love our neighbors as ourselves. If we are to love, that means we much learn to love others as we are taught what love is, and that’s patient, kind, not boastful, it doesn’t keep score, it doesn’t boast, and if we can find that love for one another, we would be much more in tuned, and we would find that we can live more harmoniously with those around us.

Through prayer and meditation, we can accomplish so much. We can truly allow our bodies to heal better, and we can find ourselves having a better grasp on mental health then before. While this isn’t something that comes easily for everyone, it is something that just like practicing at any sport it takes time, energy, focus, and practice. Allow yourself to reconnect with yourself, and be kind to yourself, and your surroundings. Peace can be found with a little love in your heart.

While this is my last post from the beautiful state of Hawaii, I find myself both sad and excited. I have felt a rejuvenation deep down into my soul and I know I needed this trip. The Aloha (Love-Kindness) I have felt since I’ve been here has been so warm, and kind, and even a little unexpected. This is an island where there’s a lot of beauty, and awe, and love. Nearly everyone I met greets with a hug, some even from strangers a kiss on the cheek, and the generosity of the people from this island has been beyond amazing. The lessons for surfing and all the surf boards were donated time even as last minute as it was, just because of what CORE stands fore. The amazing things these guys are doing, helps us find something we’ve been missing, and sometimes lost. The Canoe lessons were also free, both times. This has defiantly had an impact on me, and I hope to find a way to pay it forward. God has placed me in paradise at a time in my life when I couldn’t have needed this more.

Finding your center 2

I’m able to close my eyes and see Diamond Head in the distance, across the water the giant peek springs from the ocean towards the sky. Its beauty is unmatched. I can only hope to keep that place in mind, and allow myself to reach back to the moments I gazed upon the stunning sight, and I am able to remember the ocean sounds and breeze, and find a sense of peace. Finding ones center, and reminding myself, there is still beauty in this world, even when we can’t see it.

Overcome

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Overcome

Yesterday I did something I never thought I’d be able to do, I went and successfully surfed at North Beach in Hawaii. I was instructed, and taught, but the more important thing was I didn’t let my physical challenge to get in the way. Now, within reason of course, this can be a good and bad thing, but the risks, and the soreness from after the fact aside, I was able to surf after having major back surgery. Now the day after, sure I’m sore, but my heart feels good. The things I saw while on the water blew my mind. I have heard of people being able to overcome amazing injuries, but what I saw, renewed my hope and my spirit that anything is possible.

One of the guys I’ve had the pleasure spending time with is an Iraq war amputee. He suffered a major injury from an IED blast and after struggling with that injury ended up having his leg cut off from slightly below the knee. He is one of the guys I was able to go surfing with, but it’s not just that, he bikes, he skateboards, and yea, he surfs too. How amazing is it, that a guy with only one leg, a piece of modern technology, and a will, a drive to accept his situation, and allow himself to overcome the challenges of this world to live out a dream! Watching him get up on the surfboard and ride some pretty good size waves and doing it with grace and finesse was truly an amazing sight to see.

When we have major things happen in our life, it’s so easy to say we’ll never be able to again, or it’s to hard, or it’s to difficult, or even, it’s impossible. Yesterday I saw what it means to throw the word impossible and destroy it. Every single one of the Veterans, every one of us was able to get up and ride the waves. All of us has our own distinct physical limitations. All of us have suffered major injuries, and while back surgery and amputation are the worst of them, we all hurt on a daily basis. Now I’m not saying be reckless, but know your limitation. It’s okay to push the boundaries a little. It’s okay to follow your dreams, and when it comes to the body, it’s okay to know in your heart you can push it, and not hurt yourself. None of us pushed too hard, just enough to feel that sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

In life we will always be hit with problems that seem so large we have no idea how to solve them. We see life and we feel it’s too big, and much like Luke Skywalker and the X-Wing in the swam at Deghoba, it’s just to big to lift. But Yoda a third of Luke’s size lifts it out of the water and moves it to a safe place. Why can’t we attack life’s problem in the same way? The lies the devil throw’s at us is one to keep up subdued. It’s meant to stop us from being able to thrive in this world. There are always options open to you, and sometimes it’s not pretty, but we always have a way through the darkness. When bad things happen we must find a way to change our circumstances and use that for good. It’s so often I hear the word can’t from everyone in this walk of life, and even myself have used the word can’t. Let me explain, first off, I have used the word can’t often after my back surgery. I have said I can’t go rock climbing anymore, and I can’t do push ups or sit ups anymore, but the truth is, even though I shouldn’t, that’s not to say I can’t. I have major back degeneration and I need to know the limits as to not hurt myself. That in no means, means I can’t do it. Should I surf every day when I know I have a bad neck? Nope, of course I shouldn’t do it every day, but taking opportunities, and living life is part of the wonders God created in this world. 4 months ago when I had surgery, I never would have imagined I would be on a beach, in Hawaii, and surfing, along with learning how to sail, learning how to canoe with a big group, bike riding around parts of the island, it’s truly an amazing feeling to know I have safely been able to push the bounds and continue on.

While there are physical issues that come from pushing those boundaries, that’s all part of the game. Cause and effect, which is why you need to know your limitations, but always push yourself. Don’t do it and over do it, but don’t stop living life either. God wants for us to enjoy the beauty and wonder of this world, and if you never dare to dream big, then you will be the one to hold yourself back. Doing the impossible is only impossible because of how we hold ourselves back. Don’t allow yourself to fall into depression from an injury, learn to see it for what it is, and learn how to use it. I most certainly won’t be doing things to hurt myself, but it’s in those times where I can go and find a new way. I can’t run anymore, but I can swim. I can’t lift weights anymore, but I can do yoga. I can’t to push ups anymore, but with the right bike I can ride. All of these things I can do of course I have to be careful of doing in moderation. It’s all about how much we do it, and to know when to stop so we don’t overdo it.

In the Army we are taught to read a situation, adapt and overcome. We never know why some things happen, but even in the worst of tragedies there is hope and beauty. We can’t loose sight of it and don’t allow whatever obstacles you face to be the end all for you. Never quit pushing, and never quit trying. There is always a path for you and though it may not be easy to find, God’s got something planned for you. This week I have seen the beauty of perseverance and great kindness from total strangers. Watching them overcome what they have been through and thrive. Many of us have very little money, struggles with work, struggles with relationships, but they are happy, and thriving. Don’t allow yourself to struggle forever. Find your way, and follow what God wants for you. As it’s said, I have plans for peace. God will allow us to go through trials, but ultimately, if it destroys you, it’s on you. Pick yourself back up, brush yourself off, wipe the tears from your face, and drive on.