Mercy in Time of War

Mercy in time of War

“ It was pity that stayed Bilbo’s hand. Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life.” (Gandolf LOTR)

Something’s been on my mind lately. As the last 11 months has taught me anything it’s life is made up of good and bad situations, and some of the worst of situations may seem like a battlefield. It’s in our deepest darkest moments a choice must be made. How do we react to the enemy firing warning shots across our bow, or doing strafing runs to get us rowdy? The enemy wants us to get angry, the enemy wants us to retaliate with force. The enemy wants for us to yell, and scream, and we are expected to be fowl, and angry, allow our hate to flow through us and let that hate consume us. In the Hobbit Bilbo Baggins had a choice when he had Gollum within striking distance while cloaked. Gollum would end up playing a major role years later that allowed Frodo to get the One Ring to Mordor. As Christians we are told not to be the judge, to leave that for God, but as man we aren’t perfect and sometimes we struggle with this.

The hardest thing we may ever do is to provide kindness, to be merciful to our enemies and show love and compassion even when we are being treated horribly by someone or someone’s. How we respond when we are attacked verbally, or physically will show a lot about who we are, our maturity, and our walk with God.

Matthew 5:38-44 38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: 39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also. 41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. 42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away. 43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. 44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”

So much is said in this verse. When struck by your enemy, instead of returning fire, instead offer the other cheek, not to turn the other cheek but literally offer the next. When someone goes after you in a suit, to offer more then they are asking. It’s so hard for us to understand the concept, but in every negative action towards us, we are to return in kind more to them in kindness then we have received in wickedness. No matter how hard we try we may never change the hearts and mind of another person. All we can do is pray for them, live by an example, show the world what it means to walk Christ like but making sure our testimony our witness is a strong solid foundation. Being human we are going to sin, we are going to fall, we are going to fail people, but being true stewards of God’s word we can hope and pray to live the best we can, to make the best choices possible in every situation as humanly possible for being a sin natured creature.

Sometimes someone can say something that just hurts. It’s often the people we care for the most that do the most damage. How much can we take? How deep can that knife go before we just can’t take the pain anymore? When those in our lives destroy everything we build, when the whole of the world around us topples around us, and the enemy is pounding down upon that gate, and all we want to do is throw up our hands and give up. The shadows that rise up against us and beat us down, the Devil that pounds us to the ground, and doesn’t want us to get back up.

When the Devil takes the hearts of those we care about and turns them against us, and the wolves try to run us down, all we can do is turn, and stand our ground. Get back up off that mat, fight back, and do it with Love, with Kindness, with Compassion. You can’t change the world but God can. You can’t change others, but your actions can show others how a Godly man or woman is. We never know the hurt going on below the surface or why someone does what they do.

I believe that we may never know or understand why some people go to great lengths to hurt you. But in our trying times, in the midst’s of the battles we fight, all we can do is believe. Believe in the Holy Spirit, believe in the God, and believe in the Mercy that God, that Jesus Christ has given to us, was also for us to share to the rest of the world. The Mercy we share upon others, the Mercy and love that was blessed to us we have a duty an obligation to share that with the world. The Gospel was given to us and in that new commandments would tell us to love on another, spread the gospel to those without. We have our commandments, and it’s up to us to follow them. It’s not always easy, but nothing worth having is.

 

Scream Until Your Lungs Get Sore

Scream Until Your Lungs Get Sore

I find myself struggling. I struggle to get out of bed in the morning. This isn’t a physical struggle, it’s an emotional one. I find I would rather sleep away the hours, then be up and do things I have little to no joy in doing. I spend my day watching Netflix, and now I have graduated to playing a little Xbox on the side. I have struggled to sit down with my computer and hash out a blog or two. The things I once enjoyed have now become the mundane. The music has now become an annoying buzz, the shows I watch are just passing the time. Since I can’t drive the movies in theater that I would have normally seen come and go. The sad part is, I’m not sure how much I care. The spark of excitement in life seems like it’s gone out. Now, don’t misunderstand, I’m not complaining, it’s just the facts. I do feel blessed, I do feel thankful to have what I do, and I know I have it better then a lot of people. That’s not the issue.

The truth is, I don’t know what the issue is. I don’t know why I feel melancholy. What I know is something’s gotta give. What I know is I can’t keep going the way I am. I find my joy in a few small places, but it doesn’t seem enough to kick start the rest of me. I sit and I ponder what she is thinking. I know I shouldn’t care, and I know I should probably just let it go, but is she miserable too? I know I didn’t cause this, and I know I’ve tried everything to fix it, but you know what they say, misery loves company. I don’t want company to feel miserable with. I want company that I can talk to, hang out with, enjoy a cold drink with. What I’m looking for I know I won’t find here, not yet, not now. Philippians 4:11 “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” Being content no matter where you find yourself is difficult. It’s not something most of us have gotten to a point where we can say we are. It may not be something we’ve mastered, but it’s something we should always attempt to do.

Being content with what we have, and content with what we don’t, the Holy Grail as it were for a daily survival guide. Don’t let life keep you down. Find a way to better your situation, pray about it, and continue to be a doer, and not hope and pray for change to fall into your lap. Try to get up and make a chance. Even though some days you just want to scream, and there’s nothing wrong with that, try to find something you can strive for, and shoot for the stars. Don’t let the shadow of doubt, regret, and disappointment keep you covered.

 

 

 

The world fractured.

The world fractured.

The life live and breaks,

You cry allowed for heaven sakes.

The life you have and it all changes so fast,

No matter how much you want to change the past,

All you can do cry out at last.

The lovers lost, the feel, the sight, the touch,

No matter the time, you miss so much.

 

We can’t go back, but even if we could,

The biggest question is if we should.

The broken mug can’t be undone,

It seems cliché but what’s done is done.

 

When the heart is shattered and it feels broken into a thousand pieces, sometimes all you can do is take a step back and have faith. It’s hard after going through tragedy to learn to pick yourself up and move forward. Once broken your heart will never be the same. The more it happens the harder it is to put the pieces back together, over and over again. No matter how hard you try, there are always residual scars left behind. Humpty Dumpty will never look the same even if you glue everything back together just right. The fact is, we must learn to live with our scars, we must learn to live with the idea that in some way, we may be broken.

The nature of heart break, and baggage is something most adults have some degree of experience with. It’s important to face your demons head on and come to grips with them. God uses broken things, no matter how broken we think we are, God if given the opportunity can and will use us for the greater good. We must remember to have and keep the faith. It may be hard, but we have to have trust in Jesus, and that trust must over power the pain of what’s left behind after the storms blows through.

Try to keep in mind that just because something breaks, doesn’t mean it can’t be built back up better and brighter then it was before. Have faith that the end of one thing is the beginning of another.

 

Not a victim, but a Survivor

Not a victim, but a survivor

I’ve been considering what it means to go through a divorce you didn’t ask for. I’ve been considering what it means to suffer through it twice. For many, divorce can be devastating, for some it can be like being set free from Hell. For me, I’d say both times it was the first. I didn’t want, nor did I ask for this to happen. What I do know, is I will not be considered a victim, I will a survivor. The pain felt deep within my very soul has affected me profoundly. As I have traveled this world I have seen many men and women in need, I have seen many and in my time I have happened upon much I have found it in myself to stop and provide aid. I have been so many times the Good Samaritan.

As a survivor I have had my brushes with death, more then most. I have seen the evil in man’s heart; I have witnessed it first hand. I have watched good men die; I have had them die in front of me as I stood by powerless to stop it. I have seen the cruelty and the lies others will tell to their own selfish natures and desires. I have seen those stand idly by and do nothing, I have seen those who support the ill intent that has befallen me and even with all the bad that’s happened, I have emerged from the filth and the mud, and I have been blessed by God. I know that there will be trials ahead, and I know that there will be troubled waters. As I navigate through the blackest of nights, I know that there are those out there who support me, who love me for me, who believe in what I’m doing.

There’s a whole wide world out there for me to explore. There’s a whole lot of hurt I’d like to be able to make a little better for those whom I care about. As I revisit the Good Samaritan, where are we and what are we? Are we the priest, the Levite, the Samaritan, or the ill intent that left the man on the side of the road half dead? Are we the innkeeper that was paid to aid the man? Where we fall in the spectrum and why? I have often found myself questioning where have all the good men gone, and where are all the good women. I have often found myself questioning the business of our society today that we are on the go from dawn till dusk. We see ourselves running and running, and as our priorities are set, what then is left out of our 24 hour day?

No I’m not a victim of ill intent, I am a survivor. I have survived more then my fair share, and I continue to fight the fight every day. I one day want to be able to look my loved ones in the eye and tell them I too have fought the good fight, I have kept the course, and I too have finished the race. I want to leave behind a legacy for my family to be proud of. I was not born into a world that is so fallen there is no hope. I believe in the Hope of Jesus Christ, and I believe that those who follow Him, those who believe in the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, that those who follow that in their hearts and show the world that’s where hope is born, that there are still good people out there, and that my God is a living God living in us every day. I believe that as we put our faith in God, that the people who believe in God are bound to find others, that attract others in the name of the Lord.

We can see the hope around us, we can see the small spark even in the darkest of night if we keep our eyes open. Although man will fail you, and man will disappoint you, knowing that the Holy Spirit can and does wonders for the human heart, that tomorrow as doom and gloom as it appears, is only one day in the vastness of forever. Find yourself the light in the darkness, and you too may be able to say one day who you are in the story. Define yourself by the content of your heart, and allow yourself to be defined by what you do, and how you treat others along the path. The Ill Intent, The Samaritan, The Traveler, The Priest, or the Levite. The Choice is yours.

How do you outsmart the Fox?

How do you outsmart the Fox?

The Fox is a sly, crafty, and tricksy of the four legged hunters. When we say someone is sly as a fox we generally mean they are good at getting what they want, that they are cunning, and can do this by any means, to included underhanded means. Recently the movie Zootopia featured a fox and the stereotype carried on that the fox would use trickery and cunning to swindle animals on it’s way through life.

Last year at my own home a fox was scene skulking around my house. The fox was seen up on the hill behind my house. The first strange thing was the fox was outside in the middle of the day. It was just sitting at the top of the hill staring at the dogs as they barked and growled at it. The fox didn’t seem at all concerned about the dogs. Also in the back yard was a small potbelly pig. This pig was probably the fox’s target. The dogs didn’t like the fox hanging around. I was standing on the back porch and the fox just watched me, not troubled at all by my presence. A few days later the Fox came back and this time was pacing up the hill staring at the fenced in yard. I do believe the fox wanted to make a meal out of the little Penny the pig. Riley, my Rotweiller/Bull Terrier was not happy at the foxes loitering. Within a month I was in the hospital for a little over two weeks. During that time, the Fox came back. Long story short the Fox wasn’t sly enough to get past Riley, she had no part of it.

How do we get beyond the great deceiver? The Devil, Satan, was the first tricksy entity in the universe. Satan Morning Star was clever, sly, manipulative, and often got humans to make bad choices based on the wickedness of sin. Matthew 4:1 “Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.” As Christ was tempted by the Devil we know that we are not as careful or as infallible as Christ. We know that our temptations will not be as obvious and will often seem like good ideas at the time. 2 Corinthians 2:11 “So that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs.” We study the Bible but we will still fall to Satan and we will sin. For us it’s not about if we sin, it’s about our knowingly, purposefully sinning. 1 John 3:8 “Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil.” We will sometimes walk down a path not realizing the path leads to sinning. This is because of how the Devil, how Satan operates. 2 Corinthians 11:14 “And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.”

We must have no fear of the Devil because we know how the war ends. We know that if we remain faithful to Christ, and we resist the Devil we will be free from the bondage of that sin. Revelation 12:9 “And the great dragon was thrown down, that ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world—he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him.” Satan will one day be thrown from the influence of man. Until that day, we must remain vigilant to outfox the fox. We must keep control of our own lives, and control our actions. We may not be able to control everything that happens, and make no mistake we are not in control, but the one thing we can do is control our own mouths, control our own actions, and fight the influences of the first sly fox. Fight against Satan, and do your best to make sure your Armor is tight, and protect your weak spots. Satan will try to find a gap in the Armor, Satan will try to break you down, and attack after attack he will attempt to chip away at you until you finally break and fall to that sin. Have faith and trust in the Lord, always.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t Give Into Fear

Don’t Give Into Fear

It’s easy to walk away, or run away from something that frightens us. We all speak of fear especially in terms of the obvious, heights, spiders, enclosed spaces, etc, but the fear I want to talk about is something deeper, much more important then trivial fears. When we are afraid of failing, afraid of death, afraid of what people think about us, afraid to face our very own mistakes, especially when those mistakes fill us with guilt, remorse, and shame. We may be afraid to act because of the fear we may fail, or we may be afraid to act because we might be afraid of doing more damage then we already have.

When we hurt someone by our actions badly and we are still in their lives we may often feel our mistake was so bad the only way to make it right is to run away, leave as fast as we can, and never look back. That person is better off without us because how can they ever look at me, or love me again? The truth is, as legitimate as this fear is, it often blinds us from the truth that stands in front of us staring us down like a cobra ready to strike. When we spiral downward we often can’t see what truth is any longer because truth is blurred by our own skewed perspective. It’s important that we have faith and trust in our Godly guidance, those in our lives who follow Christ, and want only what’s best in our life.

As difficult as it can be to follow Godly counsel it’s even tougher when our desires are not what the advice is we get. We as people often lash out at those around us trying to give us Godly Christian advice. We put self before God more often then not, and in doing so our spiral often gets more muddied, and we fall farther down the seemingly inescapable rabbit hole.

I often think of truth this way. In the Matrix Neo is given the choice to take the Red, or the Blue pill. The Red pill allows you to continue on with the journey to discover the truth about The Matrix, and more. The Blue pill you wake up in your bed and forget about all of The Matrix stuff. The thing with truth is we don’t always accept it for face value. When Neo woke up and he was finally shown, his first reaction was, “I don’t believe it,” and “I want out.” Even though he spent most of his life searching for the truth, when faced with it, his mind had a hard time letting go. Isn’t our faith in Christ the same? We may believe that the Lord and Savior, the God who created the vastness of our universe, the heavens, and the earth, and plays a part in every single one of our lives, and yet, when we struggle with life’s little problems, or even the big ones, we often can’t possibly see a way out. We don’t see a solution so we make up one ourselves. We don’t put the trust in God to help us figure it out. We allow fear to dictate terms in our lives, and we can’t seem to reconcile that life is only in part chance, and mostly guiding stars to follow. People are the wild card. As people we have free will and that free will can change the plan, alter the plan, and sometimes throws the plan off the rails, but no matter the course we find ourselves on, whether it’s of our own doing, or that of someone else, God, and this is the important part, God is always with us, walking side by side, deep in the trench warfare, taking the punches, right along side us. God will always be with us, and when we need God He will always be there for us, helping us. The thing about fear is it’s easier to be afraid, then to have the kind of faith to step out of that boat in the storm. It’s easy to be afraid of the details when you’re moving across country with little to no plan. It’s easy to give into fear when you’ve made a mistake and you can’t see a way back. To have faith, and to truly live by the Word, and trust is God, is to believe that God is apart of even the smallest of details, and we only need to search The Book, for the answers. If we’re like Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole, maybe we should just follow the white rabbit, Jesus is our white rabbit.

No matter what your question is, the Bible will have the answers you seek, you just need to open it and read. I believe that’s the challenge to be placed on all of you. How often do you pray before making a choice? How often do you listen to God before deciding on a course of action, or what to say? No matter the conundrum you find yourself in, the path is always Jesus.

It Ain’t How You Hit The Mat, It’s How You Get Up

It Ain’t How You Hit The Mat, It’s How You Get Up

Sometimes in life, sometimes depending on who you are, you might feel like you’ve been hit and kicked an awful lot in your life. Someone once told me you can only get kicked so many times before you don’t want to get back up anymore. The person who told that to me means more to me then anyone else on the planet. She’s seen more then her fair share of hurt and suffering, and over the last few years she’s had way more then her fair share. It breaks my heart to see her suffering. Recently I was watching one of my favorite Netflix shows and in the show Matt Murdock and his dad are talking about his boxing career. One thing Jack Murdock was known for was how to take a punch. Is that the same for Christians? How well do we take the punch when we fall under attack by the Devils temptations? The song by Chumbawamba famous in it’s own right. Getting knocked down in life happens, but how we get back up defines us.

Tubthumper By: Chumbawamba

I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down

No matter the fight, the hits will come, and we know the greats within the Bible suffered the most. David persecuted and chased for 20 years a mark on his head bigger then the one for Han Solo. Jesus, well, we all know what happened to him. Paul, persecuted, tortured, shipwrecked, beaten, stoned twice, and he wrote some of the greatest books within the Bible. Job, well, Job had a sad story for sure, and yet he emerged victorious because of his faith to the Lord. What about our favorite comic book superhero’s? Pick the greatest of them and look into their back-story. Spiderman, lost his parents young, then his Uncle Ben was shot down on the street. His first real love, Gwen Stacy died awfully because he couldn’t save her. Batman, both parents killed as a child right in front of him. Matt Murdock, blinded as a child, and after a lifetime of training finally became Daredevil. Danny Rand, both parents killed, taken in by a bunch of hidden temple monks, beaten, and tortured as part of his training to eventually become the Iron Fist. Almost every superhero back-story will involve tons of pain and suffering.

For some people trauma can have a huge positive affect on their lives. This is of course after the trauma is faced and dealt with. In Psychology Today this is said “They found that, for many of these people, dealing with this trauma was a powerful spur for personal development. It wasn’t just a question of learning to cope with or adjust to negative situations; they actually gained some significant benefits from them. In Tedeschi and Calhoun’s terms, they experienced ‘positive life changes.’ They gained a new inner strength, and discovered skills and abilities they never knew they possessed. They became more confident and appreciative of life, particularly of the ‘small things’ that they used to take for granted. They became more compassionate for the sufferings of others, and more comfortable with intimacy, so that they had deeper and more satisfying relationships.” Some however have the opposite affect, and that they withdrawal, they become angry, they blame God, or disavow the existence of a higher power all together. The fact of the matter it doesn’t matter what the cause of the pain, it’s how we handle that will define us for the rest of the world to see. Do we want to be considered a strong, good person, or do we want to be considered weak and cruel?

 What does the bible say about getting back up? 2 Chronicles 15:7 “But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.” The good we do in the name of the Lord through our hearts and not for adulation will be brought back to us in the grace of the Heavens and we will be blessed for it. Galatians 6:9 “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” We don’t know how long our harvest will be, how long it will take to go through the fire, but we know, we are promised by God, our sufferings are not in vein. Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” When we are down and we feel like we just got the beating of a lifetime, that’s when we need to turn to God the most, that’s when we need to ask God to help us, take away the pain, help us through, because it’s in that pain that God wants us to be closer to Him, not draw back, not flee from God, but praise God, allow God to work in our lives, and show us our suffering isn’t for nothing.

No matter the pain, the hits, the suffering, the kicks, the fear, the attacks, God is always with us, we hurt, God hurts, we suffer, God suffers, and knowing our Savior is in the trenches with us fighting the fight, battaling to win the war, we can take comfort that in our greatest time of need God will provide, by gifts, but positive things, and sometimes the people put in our lives, but always in all things, God is with us, watching us, and loving us.

References:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/out-the-darkness/201111/can-suffering-make-us-stronger

Ready to Pounce

Ready to Pounce

Recently after my surgery I was looking out at my youngest dog. He was sitting in the backyard perched tall, and proper, but I realize what he was doing, he was keeping a watchful eye for intruders. He has always done that no matter what yard he’s in. He will find a place to sit, and he’ll watch for anything he perceives as a threat. I started to think about the difference between predators and pray. We know this is the circle of life, and we know that in the wild life is often a wild card. When you watch movies or shows on animal planet, or discovery, Disney’s Earth day movies, or any other kind of wildlife documentary, we always see the hunt, the fight for survival. We as people, as human beings are gifted with intelligence and that’s what puts us at the top of the food chain. When we used our smarts to avoid being killed from a wild thing we skyrocketed to the top of the chain. We are inferior in so many other ways to our animal counterparts. A gorilla for instance could literally rip a person to shreds with its bare hands. Lions could devour us in a matter of seconds, and even a small spider like the black widow or brown recluse could kill a human with one or two bites. Death is inevitable for everyone, a certainty that no one but one has ever been able to overcome.

The Bible depicts Satan in many different ways, a roaring lion, a sly slithering serpent, and a monster from the deep. When the days of our lives move on as the sun rises and sets, where do you fit into the great circle of life? As a child one of my favorite movies was The Lion King. I loved the lions, and the idea of the circle, how nature kept itself in a delicate balance. When Scar took over Pride Rock the balance shifted and the entire eco system failed. The animal’s left, plants began to die off, and it became a desolate place. When we don’t take care of our lives we too can upset the balance and watch as our eco system falls to rubble. One bad day, one wrong choice, one selfish act can upset the delicate balance and can potentially destroy not only your own life, but the lives of those around you. Proverbs 6:16-19There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: 17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, 18 a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil,
19 a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.”
The Devil pulls at us to fall within this passage. The Devil will tempt us, He will push us, He will put anyone in our path the try and get us to walk away from Christ. Further into Proverbs 6:20-35 “2My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: 21 Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. 22 When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. 23 For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life: 24 To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman. 25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids. 26 For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adultress will hunt for the precious life. 27 Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? 28 Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned? 29 So he that goeth in to his neighbour’s wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent. 30 Men do not despise a thief, if he steal to satisfy his soul when he is hungry; 31 But if he be found, he shall restore sevenfold; he shall give all the substance of his house. 32 But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. 33 A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away. 34 For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance. 35 He will not regard any ransom; neither will he rest content, though thou givest many gifts.” Satan wants us to cheat on our spouses, He wants us to fall to jealousy, He wants us to commit murder, he wants us to give into the hate we try so hard to push out. It is in that moments when we become pray to the predator. We become weak and frail, and we loose our strength to stand and fight back. When we forsake our oaths, our promises, when our word no longer holds any merit because we’ve lied often, we’ve deceived many, and we’ve broken those closest to us, that’s when the great deceiver, the first fallen Angel, Lucifer Morningstar Himself, has grabbed a hold of you, and has tricked you into forsaking God in exchange for the pleasure of the flesh, the world, and you’ve become a petri-dish for sin to continue to metastasize because sin breeds sin.

For every broken marriage, for every broken bond, for every broken promise and oath, Satan wins by watching those God loves get hurt in so many different ways. The troubles we find ourselves in whether it be of our own doing, or that of something else, Satan is the puppet master and we who are weak allow Him to play us like marionettes. We do not have to be enslaved to sin if we choose to walk in the light of the Lord, but when we choose a life of sin, when we choose selfish desires, and our own wants over that which the Lord deems as good for us, we loose the freedom to break the bonds of sin, and instead hand over the controls to Satan. Sin can be an addiction. Once we start down the road of the feel good phase, we loose site of the fact just because it feels good, doesn’t mean it’s good for us.

For those who are walking in the darkness, allowing Satan to use you for evil purposes, it’s never too late to cut those strings and give the wheel back to God. You can never go so far that the road to redemption is blocked. God always gives us the choice to change our ways, always gives us the ability to make amends and right our wrongs. We can never be too far gone, or cause so much pain that God will turn His back on us, because that’s just not scriptural. If we are to consider ourselves true Christians, we must always choose scripture over what we want, even when it’s hard to do. I hear so often, someone doesn’t deserve forgiveness, or why would you let someone back into your life, or I’m not ready to forgive them just yet. I challenge anyone to show me in the Bible where it says forgiveness must be earned, must be worked for, must be given but only if certain criteria are met. Forgiveness is not an option, it’s not something that’s earned it’s something that we are scripturally told to do, because if we do not, we will not be forgiven by God. Giving forgiveness is mandatory, Colossians 3:13 13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” We also see this passage in Matthew 6:14-15 14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Don’t allow yourself to be used by the Devil. Fight the sin urges that come along. Love your spouses, love your siblings, and love your neighbors. Shower those around you with love even those whom are perceived to be an enemy. Love can and does concur all. Don’t allow yourself to worship false idols and don’t allow yourself to destroy homes by committing atrocious sins. Don’t let the Devil stalk you like helpless pray. Show the Devil you belong to the Lord, and in your every day walk with Jesus show the world where you stand. If someone sins do not pass judgment upon them, do not spread gossip, instead love them, pray for them, accept them with open arms, and lead them by Godly examples. God will bless those who are faithful, and God wants the fallen to be picked up and protected by Angels wings.

One Step Away by Casting Crowns.

It doesn’t matter how far you’ve gone, mercy says you don’t have to keep a running down the road you’re on.

Jesus died so we may live. His blood spilt so our sins would be forgiven and we could be redeemed. Live your life in a way that would be pleasing to God for a gift we could never deserve.

 

 

 

 

Content with Weaknesses

Content with Weaknesses

I’ve been pondering the sunrise and what it means to me. I’ve been pondering what I’m supposed to learn and what I’m supposed to do. I’ve been pondering why I’m here, and what this situation can teach me. I ask God for guidance, for blessings. I have come to realize in my so many years of living that the blessings I may have gotten are not necessarily blessings I’ve come to realize are actually good things for me. As I’ve questioned all of this and now I’m 1 week after surgery I find myself in a very different place then I have been in the past. I’ve been looking at my scars I’ve accumulated and it’s hard not to travel down memory lane.

One year ago I was on a trip that would ultimately change my life forever. It would start a turn of events that would forever change and alter life as I knew it. I would loose my wife, I would nearly loose my life, I would loose my job, I would eventually loose my home, and in the end my body would finally give up, and give out, and thus where I am 10 months later. As I now find myself living with my mother something that hasn’t been for 17 years. It’s a change to get used to for sure. As I’m sure there are reasons for everything that’s happened it’s difficult to take a step back from how different things are, the hope that things could go back, and even sometimes pray they would. As I’ve become more familiar with the change that’s going on around me, and even in my yearning to not give in to the ever changing life around me, I believe I’m finally starting to succumb to the change, and as parts of me are excited for the change, other parts hold onto the past.

As I am now stranded and not allowed to drive, I can’t lift, and bend, and stretch. I don’t have my things unpacked, and as I’m looking at the future, the 5 weeks I have left seem like an eternity. I find some things I once enjoyed doing, now seem like so much work or effort I can’t seem to put my finger on why I no longer feel the enjoyment I used too. I find myself missing things I once had that now seem like such a past memory that I’m forgetting the finer things in life.

For 10 years I lived my life with the comfort of a woman in my life. For 10 years I knew the touch of love, the smell of perfume, and the feel of soft lips on mine. Being single now since September and having absolutely no luck in the dating seen, the online dating seen, or anywhere in between, I find myself more and more frustrated. I can hear my pastor now, “you’ve got to learn to be comfortable with yourself, and in God’s time you will be knocked off your feet by the blessings you’ll get when it’s the right time, and when you AREN’T LOOKING FOR IT!” Yes, yes, I hear you.

I’m sure the good Lord has something planned for me, whether I know or understand it myself, and the truth is that’s the defining feature of faith. We may not ever see the direction, the plan, the lessons, but knowing they are there and knowing that God is in the drivers seat.

While I cannot for the life of me fully understand how my life’s taken such a turn to mirror Job’s life, I must remain in the faithful that my life will one day be restored to a glorious state that I can look back on this last year and hold it up as a bad dream. While we never know what the sunrise will bring, what we know is there’s a greater plan then what we could possibly ever know.

One thing I’ve been forced to see and something I’ve struggled with especially after the way in which my marriage ended was my own self worth, my own self-esteem, why was I not loveable, why was I disposable, expendable. For months after I questioned myself, I thought so poorly of myself the bottom of the barrel was actually looking pretty high. I’ve prayed day in and day out that somehow, someway, I’d be able to move forward. What I have wanted may not be what’s best for me, but as I fractured into two people 10 months ago, there’s the man that was the past, and the man that was the future. That fractured self has been at war, at odds now for all that time, and the war still rages on, an internal fight for the very future and when I look into the mirror I don’t know who I’m looking at anymore. I question God every day and in all that time I still haven’t come up with the answers I seek. Did I not love enough? Did I hold on to tightly? Did I give too many freedoms? Was I too trusting? What I not trusting enough? Did I just grow old and wasn’t important anymore? What would cause so many in my life to leave me high and dry, quit on me, and leaves? Looking at the math I’ve questioned how 415 Facebook friends, an entire church, several friendships from other jobs who either have nurse friends or are married to nurse’s who work in larger hospitals, yet with all my connections, and 10 months later on several dating apps and reaching out myself I find myself no closer to finding a date or anyone that a legitimate relationship would be possible. After so long and so many failures it’s easy to start to question ones self.

No matter how much we start to doubt ourselves there’s something we should remember. In all things remember 2 Corinthians 12:5-10 On behalf of this man I will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses—though if I should wish to boast, I would not be a fool, for I would be speaking the truth; but I refrain from it, so that no one may think more of me than he sees in me or hears from me. So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations,[a] a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Do not be prideful, do not be afraid to look in the mirror and smile at the creation God made. I have to believe that while I am alone now, and have been for a while, there’s a reason. I have to believe that God’s perfect plan is to make things better for me. No matter the fractured self, in time that fracture will mend, and the scars that are left behind, and there are scars, will be a reminder of the life of old, and the future that remains, a fresh canvas in which to pain a new work of art for the glory of God.

 

Luke 4:18

Luke 4:18

“18 The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,”

 No matter the state we find ourselves in, no matter the situation of the day, we know that the Lord is always with us. We know that in our walk we will face turmoil, we will face hardships that no man should ever see, we will see horrors and our lives will become nightmares of reality. The spirit, the holy ghost that fills the air with the presence of God. No matter what state I seem to find myself in, I am learning that my life seems to turn around when instead of complaining about it, I find someone I can preach the word too. While it doesn’t always make me feel better, it’s only a matter of time and things turn around for me.

Isaiah 61:1

“The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;”

The truth that rings from the sweet sounds of scripture, are truth to pass through the ages. What was truth in the Old Testament is truth in the New. The truth is we will always have hardships, and as soldiers for Christ we will always be the targets of the Devils attacks. Sometimes the attacks on the most faithful, the strongest of soldiers are the most hurtful. Look at Job for instance. Here’s a man who was faithful to the Lord, refused to rebuke the Lord even when everything he knew was ripped away from him. I propose what we do in our times of trouble are to reach deep into the word and pull out something we can use for each individual situation.

Sometimes helping others allows us to put our own lives, our own problems into perspective. It’s hard to see the forest through the trees, and we don’t always make the right decisions while on the ground. From a birds eye view the path seems clear, but when you’re the one running the labyrinth it can be a dark, scary, lonely place. When we are down and alone, as hard as it is, try to remember as much as it hurts to be on your own, feel the Holy Spirit with you, around you, in you, and know that you aren’t alone. Some days it may be harder to feel then others, and some days when the bitter, icy cold sleet hits you in the face, know that the shelter from the storm is only a word away.

Luke the Jedi to take out the Empire fought the fight under insurmountable odds and with the Force on his side immerged victorious. With the Force of God on our side we may get knocked down and our hands my get cut off by an evil Sith Lord but we always learn to get back up, and even if we have to take a major plunge of faith, we can find a way out. The path out can be shown to us by the Holy Ghost but it may not be what we think is should or could be. The path we may be led to walk might be littered with thistles and thorns but we can always pull out our own lightsaber and cut away what’s in our way. Allow God to guide you, and you too can make a difference.

God, protect me oh my Lord, give me the strength and guidance to continue to do good works. Allow me the strength to carry on and continue to fight the wiles of the devil. Give me the words to write, the message to spread, and continue to bless my family and me.