Knowing Your Weaknesses

Knowing Your Weaknesses

While I was watching one of my shows recently I confronted a question within myself. What’s something I’m afraid of, what’s something I would consider a weakness within myself? As I watched the show The Flash I found it interesting how his worst enemy is cold, it’s ice because of how it slows down the molecules within his body. The Flash has to be careful with the numerous enemies, villains that he encounters that use cold/freezing powers. You see, knowing your weakness can help save you from whatever may come.

Ephesians 6:12 “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high [places].” The Devil will search your very soul to find your chink in the armor. Some people can go for a long time without knowing their true weaknesses. The problem is, without knowing your own faults, your own short comings, the Devils ability to find that weakness and exploit it becomes much simpler. You have to be able to mount defenses where flaws might lay.

In any defense of a castle, strategic placements of archers, of cavalry, of spearmen, and of course the knights that defend the gate, all these areas are defended because there can be potential breaches. During the battle of Helms deep for instance, the caldron at the base of the wall, although small, left a weak point in the wall, which using explosive could exploit the fault, and once detonated blew a hole large enough for the advancing army to enter without much effort. This however was not planned for and thus little defense was available to defend an all out ground invasion. While the battle was won the damage done was near catastrophic.

2 Corinthians 12:10 “Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” Knowing that we are not perfect at that we have shortcomings we are able to anticipate the attacks and plan for them, prepare for them. Then, and only then will you be able to do what is needed to defend yourself.

The Devils attacks will come at any time at any day, and we must be ready to fight. While the enemy we face is that of the spiritual and not of the flesh (at least not most of the time). I know that my weakness is a fear of being abandoned. I fear my loved ones leaving me never to return. In the last year that fear was brought to life and when I was down on the ground and I thought I’d never be able to get up again, Christ lifted me and gave me time to heal from my wounds. When you get knocked down it’s easy to forget what the true importance of our life. Jesus Christ is the light and the only way. Find strength in the word, find hope in the light, because no matter what even the smallest amount of light makes the darkness scurry away. Only in Christ are we strong enough to fight the battles we wage every day. Doing it on our own we are surly destined to fail. Don’t get lost in an infinite loop

 

 

Pretty Good

Pretty Good

“Here’s my day so far: went to jail, lost the girl of my dreams and got my butt kicked pretty good. Still, things could be a lot worse. Oh, that’s right… I’m falling to my death. Guess they can’t. How did it all come to this? Well, my end starts at the beginning… The very beginning!” (Megamind)

So here’s my year so far, lost my wife, lost the greatest position at work ever, lost my house, but still things could be a lot worse, oh, that’s right, I’m still fighting the soul sucking VA and just took a major setback, so how does one carry on you ask? Let me tell you.

After 10 years of working with the Veteran Affairs Administration I have finally made some headway, but at the same time receiving a crushing blow. While I thought the claims I had submitted would have been a slam-dunk victory, never a surprise when dealing with the VA however. I wasn’t surprised at some of the actual claim items not coming back favorable, however I was surprised when they couldn’t even get the claim date correct. I submitted my intent to file which is binding on February 16th, yet the file date they went with was July 31st, which was the date of my temporary disability claim for my emergency surgery. This was because they didn’t actually look at the virtual claims, and made the decision without actually doing their job, this to me is nothing but negligence. Nothing new under the sun when it comes to the VA.

Years ago I placed a claim before I got out of the Army. There was an X-Ray done prior to discharge that showed the C-Spine straightening causing muscle spasms, and headaches. The military found the defect and yet chose later to deny any involvement of it. It would take me years to appeal the VA to overturn their decision and only after I would suffer a bulged disc. The time spent fighting the VA has been long, it’s been exhausting, and have taken more man hours I like to admit. Sadly this seems to be an epidemic

The lesson here is one of patience. The hard thing about dealing with a faceless enemy is you can’t see or touch. When you are fighting a war much like chess, it’s a game of patience. You cannot win the match by rushing forward. You must be patient and tactical. You must have the ability to adapt and overcome adversity. The lesson to be learned is a lot like Batman. A master tactician that learns from every encounter, adapts while on the run, and fights for what he truly believes. While there are obvious differences, the key is patience in the face of adversity, keeping ones head on task and staying focused.

The world is a funny, fickle place, where sometimes the most reasonable ideals are still foreign to others. The VA and it’s shinnanigans have been reeking havoc on veteran lives for years. While the VA does a lot of good for Veterans, when it comes to benefits and service connection, it seems the process is designed for the veteran to fail. The idea of our nations best being strung through the ringer and hung out to dry is sickening. No matter the struggles though remember God is with you. Never stop fighting because it gets hard. Always keep your eyes on the prize and stay focused. The road is rough, but it takes time to make your courage strong.

 

 

 

 

The Empathy Within

The Empathy Within

How do you feel when you see the suffering of others? What does your heart do when you see on TV the faces of the children drinking from dirty puddles? How do you feel when you see the animals that have been abused and tortured? Where’s your heart at? When someone gives you their problems do you raise them up or shoot them down? When someone is hurting and it’s not their fault do you try to help or do you push away? I say again, where’s your heart?

The day may bring great joy and you may be in the season of peace, of happiness, a life without strife, without pain, and without much worry of any kind. The curtain can be drawn back to reveal the truth, the man behind the curtain as it were. When the going gets tough do your friends stick by you and help you through or are you left in the road beaten and dirty? You see the truth is many of us don’t stop to help the beaten traveler on the road. Many of us turn away, looking someplace else because it quite frankly it isn’t my concern. In a blog I wrote a while back I talked about how many people are fair-weather fans. I’ve written about the Good Samaritan and the man under the hood, but what do they all have in common? Empathy, or simply put, the lack thereof, and it’s a lesson I’ve learned the hard way this last year. So few people have empathy for others, and I believe the route of the problem is a lack of love for your fellow man.

When friends abandon you because you’re going through a hardship is that a sign of the level of their love? What about when a marriage falls apart because there’s a rough patch? If we loved more deeply, and allowed ourselves to actually feel the pain of others, we might be less inclined to abandon ship at the first sign of water.

 

Your Love, by Brandon Heath

But your love
Your love
The only the thing that matters is your love
Your love is all I have to give
Your love is enough to light up the darkness
It’s your love
Your love
All I ever needed is your love

 

Give Me Your Eyes, Brandon Heath

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see,
Everything that I keep missing,
Give your love for humanity.
Give me your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten.
Give me Your eyes so I can see.

 

When we look at the people around us we gloss over them and we don’t see the truth. We as a people, as a society have lost our ability for a lot of reason to see the pain underneath the surface. Men in our time hold onto the pain they feel, the suffering, the shame, or guilt of their actions. Women have lost the nurturing side of who they where. Where’s the love, where’s the empathy we are supposed to have?

Christ felt deeply for the sick, the lame, the poor, and the hungry. Christ went to great lengths to feel their pain, to ease their suffering. Christ performed miracles almost always for the betterment of those who needed it most. He could feel the pain, he could feel the suffering, and he had empathy for their situation. The Lord loves us, and as we suffer in our situation know the Lord is with us always. While people may fail you, Christ won’t. 1 Thessalonians 5:11Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” You and I, the human race must remember to find what we’ve lost and that’s love. It isn’t just enough to see the suffering of others we must feel the suffering of others. Romans 12:15 “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.” We must serve the Lord and when we do that we must be able to see the world as Christ sees the world. The Lord of all see and feels all things. If you are a person who things you are above helping someone, above feeling empathy for those who have less then you, I say shame on you. Galatians 6:2-3 “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.”

 We are nothing without Christ’s love so why do we not share that love with others? Why are we so consumed with our own petty selves? Without the grace of God we would have nothing, and when we abandon those we supposedly love what does that say about our true nature? When we turn our backs, abandon them because their ‘negativity’ is ‘too much’ to handle. Shame on you, if that’s something you’ve done. When you abandon someone in need I would surmise you are actually sinning. I believe when you turn your head the other way and you allow the suffering of others to happen within your attention you do not love your neighbor as you are commanded too.

Just remember one thing, when you forsake a friendship and you abandon them to face their sorrows alone, the day will come when you yourself are in need. Who then will help you when you found it too inconveniencing to be there for them? Empathy is about having love for your fellow human beings, and one day you might just need a friend. Sure it’s easy to be someone’s friend when everything is fine, but when the going gets tough, don’t just hop the next flight out of town just because you can’t be bothered with it. That’s entirely selfish and ridiculous. If you’re going to call someone a friend, and if you’re going to tell them you love them, then prove it when it matters most.

 

 

 

 

Reach for the Golden Ring

Reach for the Golden Ring

Our life is full of choices and full of chances. We cannot live in regret because we may only get to ride the ride once. If you’re going to live life you cannot just flounder around in the waves. There’s a golden ring up there for everyone. There’s greatness at the fingertips of everyone, the problem is we don’t allow ourselves to pursue or reach our full potential. Greatness is all about taking chances, it’s all about the risks and making sure we take the right ones. Not every risk will pay off, but we cannot reach our full potential unless we jump.

No matter how far you have to run, never stop reaching for that golden ring. Van Halen said it best:

DREAMS

World turns black and white
Pictures in an empty room
Your love starts fallin down
Better change your tune
Reach for the golden ring
Reach for the sky
Baby just spread your wings

[Chorus:]
We’ll get higher and higher straight up we’ll climb
We’ll get higher and higher leave it all behind
Run, run, run, away
Like a train runnin off the track
The truth gets left behind
And falls between the cracks
Standing on broken dreams
But never losing sight
Spread your wings

[Chorus]

So baby dry your eyes, save all the tears you’ve cried
Ohh that’s what dreams are made of
Oh baby we belong in a world that must be strong
Ohh that’s what dreams are made of

 

People will tell you you’re not good enough. They will tell you, all kinds of things, like not smart enough, not tall enough, not pretty enough, you don’t sound the part, but in every instance of being told no, make sure you are listening to the path from God. Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you using your God given talent. You will be told no a lot before you finally hear that yes. Don’t loose hope in yourself. Keep pushing and keep making yourself better. You never know what the world will hold when you push through the opposition to realize your true potential. While we all have our special gifts, and while greatness is measured by history do not mistake my meaning. Greatness isn’t fame and fortune. While some will reach that, and while it’s some peoples dreams to do so, what’s important is the legacy you leave behind. How are the lives touched around you? Does your life lift people up, does it help others when they are in need, or are you always beating people down? What kind of leader are you? Do you lead from the desk while everyone else slaves around you? Do you lead from the front, by showing and doing? Be great at whatever you do. Don’t ever quit reaching for your dreams. The path wont be easy and you’ll stumble and fall, but get back up, lick your wounds, and when you push and you follow your dreams you can be great, even if it’s just to the people around you.

You have to be ready to leap and pull your shoot. When you live your life you might only get a few moments to make a name for yourself. You may only get that one shot, one shot in any given lifetime, so you need to make sure when you have your chance you bring everything you have to offer. Don’t stop and even if you fall, even if you don’t succeed get back up. Boxers get knocked down, singers get booed off stage, actors are passed over for movies, but when that one time comes up you better bring everything. Always be the best you can be and never doubt yourself. No matter what your gift is, singing, writing, dancing, an instrument, photography, being a parent, being a supervisor, saving lives, going to war, no matter what it is follow the path and never give up.

Lose Yourself by Eminem

Look
If you had

One shot

Or one opportunity

To seize everything you ever wanted

In one moment

Would you capture

Or just let it slip?

 Your dreams my break, and your hopes may get crushed but always remember scripture. Proverbs 16:3 “Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.” When your dreams are in line with serving God, bringing honor and glory to the King of Kings, you won’t fail. While in our path to achieve our goals we will face tribulations. Romans 12:12 “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” No matter the path we must remember to always put God first in all we do. Matthew 6:33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” It’s in this that we truly receive the blessings from above. When we realize that all things come from God, we will be more grateful for the blessings we have. Never forget the blessings, and give the praise to where it comes from. No matter the trials we may face, that is only to build strength, to test fortitude, to bring glory and preparation.

Hard Love by NeedtoBreathe

Hold on tight a little longer
What don’t kill ya, makes ya stronger
Get back up, ’cause it’s a hard love
You can’t change without a fallout
It’s gon’ hurt, but don’t you slow down
Get back up, ’cause it’s a hard love
You know the situation can’t be right
And all you ever do is fight
But there’s a reason that the road is long
It takes some time to make your courage strong

 

We cannot move forward until we are ready, and sometimes the hardships are just that, tests to make sure we can handle the next phase. While hardships we face might be the Devils doing we have our choice on how we manage setbacks. Remember to always spread your wings and remember you cannot sore above the clouds till you’ve first fallen to the ground. Hope and pray, find yourself, and be ready to use your gift, reach high, and never stop, reach for that Golden Ring and paradise awaits you.

 

 

 

 

My What Big Eyes You Have

My What Big Eyes You Have

Matthew 7:15-20 15 Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. 16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? 17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. 19 Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. 20 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.”

When I was a young boy I thought my life was normal. Then I started to open my eyes to the world around me. I looked at the families of my friends, I looked at the kids at school and I realized my life was far from average. As I got older I found I was disconnected from the world around me. The world as it was didn’t seem to accept me for who I was. The bullying started and soon it was more then just name calling and teasing it became physical. My shoes would be taken in gym and tossed around, my stuff would be knocked to the floor, I’d be pushed around when nobody was watching and no one ever came to my rescue. The day I received a swirly was one of the worst and most shameful moments of my life. I didn’t want the world to see me anymore. If all of that wasn’t bad enough, the following school year my mother was involved in a serious incident. It wasn’t long before the cat was out of the bag, and mean kids became cruel and from then on the words were that of physiological warfare….. Torture. When the school bullies learned of what happened I became the punch line and it was clear I wasn’t ever going to fit in. I drew into myself. I tried to put on a smile, but it was fake. No one knew the pain, and even the school counselors did nothing. Twice I was punished for fighting back when I was pushed or shoved into the lockers, or when someone said just the right thing knowing after 3 years how to push my buttons. Every day I thought about my life and how much I wanted the world to end. Every day I cried wishing my life would end and the pain would stop. I wasn’t normal, I wasn’t special, I was nothing in the world. The idea of life’s meaning was brought up more then once in my internal monolog. Would the world have been better without me? Since no one wanted me, I was an anomaly that there was no answer too.

I wandered through life lost, and confused about who I was. I felt the Devils claws digging into my heart and squeezing the joy from my chest as if I were some fruit trying to get juice. The thoughts in my head kept telling me, there’s a better way, better days for the winds to lift us on eagles wings and we would find better ways to look into the storm and stand tall against the Devil and his minions of death. Would moving make things better? Would a change make things better? From the ages of 10 to 16 I moved around a few times trying to find where I belonged, each time feeling as if I were betraying someone. Every time I left I struggled with my decision. A foolish sense of loyalty remained in my heart and caused doubt with each passing day. The joy would only be temporary and the guilt would set in like a sticky fog and I couldn’t outrun it.

The life I wanted would come with my final move. A school I could find myself in, friends I would grow to depend on, the occasional girlfriend, and an abundance of success. Finally for the first time in my life I found a sense of peace, a sense that the world wasn’t all out to get me. While every life has its setbacks, every heart has its heartbreak, and every day must bring forth it’s night, the truth was I was home. Three years I lived that life, and three years I found my happiness. When the day came to graduate I knew life wasn’t going to play by the rules anymore. I knew the protection we teenagers had would eventually fall away. It’s that false sense of security that’s so important to notice.

I sit alone and listen to the words of the music from my computer. We see through our eyes of perspective, but narrow and pointed. How we don’t see the truth, how we never think to walk a mile in their shoes. What would it be like to walk in someone’s shoes? Would we ever see the pain they hide behind their eyes? Would we feel what they feel? What’s it like to feel the pain of someone else? What’s it like to feel the judgments we deal out? What’s it like to be on the receiving end of our harsh words and our snap judgments? What is it like to be at the top and still feel like you’re at the bottom? When we receive our gifts in life do we look at them objectively, or do we allow our narrow field of view to blind us? Is it a gift or a curse? Are the gifts we embrace truly gifts or are they wolves in sheep’s clothing?

While in my life I’ve loved deeply, that love has come with a cost. I have lost the women in my life I was closest too. I have loved and lost more then many, but still less then others. My life has had its share of pain and suffering, but was it because of my inability to see the true nature of what I had? What may appear to be a wonderful gift from God might truly be a curse. The truth hurts and nothing hurts like the betrayal of the people we love most. Best friends will leave you, loved ones will forsake you, the words that are uttered will cut most deeply. The Devil will try to get to you using any means possible. The Devil will break through and turn your friends against you. The Devil will draw your spouse away and in that the wolves are everywhere. The Devil takes no prisoners and doesn’t care at the cost, the collateral damage left in the wake of destruction. I spent so much of my life hanging low, picking up the pieces from the ground trying to put my life back together over and over again.

The truth is however you can’t rebuild using the rubble of your life; you must first clear away the destruction to make room for the new. You must remove the old and damaged pieces and look to the future, look to the sky for the chances to rebuild stronger and better then it was before. Looking at the destruction of our lives is easy to do, but when the storm blows through and the light shines through, clear the old and make room for the new. You can’t build a house on top of the old one. You can’t let the destruction of the old get in the way of the possibilities. Furthermore, you cannot look at every gift with suspicion. You must have faith in God and the blessings bestowed upon you. As I have said in the past trust but verify. Look at the gifts and be thankful for what you have.

Even as the wolf lays in the bed waiting to gobble you up, wearing a grandma suit trying to trick you, you cannot allow for the sin of others to affect you and take away your joy. Christ died for us, his blood spilt to give us the joy of salvation. No matter what people say or do, that will never define the purpose God has for you. Believe in yourself no matter what the devil throws in your path. Life will hurt you, the Devil will beat you, and the world you love so much, the life you’ve built will crumble around you and you will be powerless to stop it. No matter the storm stand strong, stand tall. Fight back against the wolves sent to pull you down, pull you away from Christ. Fight back and don’t allow the Devil to stop you from moving forward. You can never hit a home run if you’re too afraid to swing. You cannot allow the Devil to pull you away from salvation. Believe in yourself and live your life with Love, Kindness, and Compassion for your fellow man. Trust in the word and love.

It’s hard to love after major disasters. It’s hard to have faith in tomorrow when your standing in the middle of destruction but as Christ forced the very clouds upon the water to part, the winds to vanish, and the sun to shine, your life is only a matter of time and prayer. Prayers for help, pray for guidance, and pray for strength to persevere. Love is about having faith; it’s about pushing and believing in God, believing in yourself, and trying to always see the best in the people in your life. Life can be rebuilt for as long as you draw breath there is always hope. As long as you believe the world turns, the sunrises and sets and with every day a chance to change, a chance to paint a new canvas with your own story, you can be exactly the person God knows you can be. Do you believe in life after love? When you don’t think you’re strong enough, fall to your knees and you will be blessed. We are strong enough as long as we have Christ with us and by our side. Never quit and never allow the wolf to take from you that, which is most precious, your faith in Christ.

No Strings On Me

No Strings On Me

A child of sin we fight and fight, bound by our strings of sin the devil pulls us here, and moves us there, but children of sin the strings on me. One sin, the dominoes that fall, one after another, the puppet master controlling, whispering, the temptations draw us down. We clash and brawl but the nature we cannot win, the truth remains the strings hold me down and move me all around. A marionette we move through life, but is it our own? We are blessed with free will, the will to kill, the will to heal, the will to give, the will to take, but always the will is free. So why the strings, why do they control, the gentle or the fool? We have no strings, but then we do, where’s the line, the line in the sand we see and we watch, but do we cross, or do we stay?

The highway’s lonesome, the path is a treacherous one. The thoughts are wondering, and enter the whispers, but who is it I hear, what is it that stalks me in the darkness of my own mind? The Devil takes shapes, moves throughout the shadows, hiding or coming to and fro. The world in chaos, the evil that spreads, a gift from Eve, the sin was born, the victim of ignorance and evil. Her strings were pulled, the desire of man, the first of many, a path was set, forever to walk but a light shines in the distance, what could it be?

Romans 7:21-25 21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. 22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, 23 but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.”

 The spirit is willing, but the flesh falls short. Sin pulls us, sin dwells within us, binds us, sin not unlike the strings of a puppet. When we walk blindly through life our sin nature being pulled and tempted, whispered to by Satan keeps us under control by that sin. Do you want to be a pawn, or some marionette to be used, or be controlled? Most people live their lives in the dark, unaware of the strings on them. The only way to cut those strings is in two words, Jesus Christ.

No Strings Attached by NSYNC

Take it from me
It’s a lesson to be learned
Even the good guys get burned
Take it from me
See, I would give you love
The kind of love that you’ve only dreamed of

Jesus is the only way to cut those strings. We may not ever cut sin from our lives, but the Fire of the Holy Spirit can change us. When we know Christ as our one and only Savior we have a weapon to fight the sin nature we are bred with. We are all sinners and sin by nature, but when we accept Christ our hearts undergo a fundamental change, and we see through new eyes. The truth is Christ’s blood freed us from the bonds of eternal death. While we are still sinners we have a choice when our eyes are opened to allow the Devil to pull on us, or not.

I’ve Got No Strings

I’ve got no strings
To hold me down
To make me fret
Or make me frown
I had strings
But now I’m free
There are no strings on me

 Don’t be afraid of the Devil for he holds no strings on you when you realize you’re not alone. Pick up the phone and call for Christ, don’t be afraid of the Devil for he has no power over you. The one who has all the power is Christ. He has allowed us the choice, and freedom is power, we have the power to fight sin, to actively think about it daily. We may not be perfect, but often our sin is a choice we make. Don’t fall trap to the dominoes of sin because once you start with the little sins, the big stuff is only a small stretch. Cut your strings of sin and embrace your freedom. We have freedom and freedom is power, so in the words of a great man “With great power comes great responsibility!” (Uncle Ben, Spiderman) Don’t take our power for granted. Use your freedom to do great good. Don’t be controlled by Satan any longer. Let the light of the Holy Spirit fill you up, and think of that before you make decisions that might lead you down the road of Sin. Sin are weights that hold you down, once you drop the life in the dark, you can live life and unencumbered and with the Holy Spirit as your guide, speed your way through life and don’t like it hold you back.

 

 

Seasons Change

Seasons Change

The storms will come and the destruction it brings.

The dark clouds come and the light fades out.

A season of change and alas do the clouds split?

Head down and strong shoulder through

Tonight is the night to watch the storm break.

We cannot hold on forever

We cannot live in the past.

The storm rocked the world and still standing.

Tonight fix the sight, change the focus.

Tonight I’m gonna live my life and say goodbye.

The storm must break and the new light breaths new life.

Tomorrow the sun shall rise and the past is past.

Running away from the past, towards the future.

It’s funny ain’t it, how a small thing can bring such change.

God’s funny that way, how when the sky looks so dark, the light is just moments away.

You can tell how amazing it is, how it takes your breath away.

How the light glistens in the wind.

The storm clouds leave and the air fresh and new.

The matters of the heart are wonderful and wondrous.

The sweetest truths are found when least expected.

How can I put down in words how wonderful life is.

God gave me Christ, and Christ gave me life.

How wonderful life is while you’re in the world.

Tell me it’s not too good to be true, the storm rolls away.

I wanna know it’s true, I feel the change, could I see it too?

I’ve been wrong before, but the day goes on.

I want the truth, I can handle the truth.

God I trust in you, I need to, I need to know it’s all right.

I trust in you when you say forgiveness is mine.

My God my God, I need you to help me, don’t take this from me.

If I’m wrong it’s to good to be true, but can it, and is it, I don’t know.

We never know the end, so we live for today. The end is neigh and live for now.

Love all, serve all.

 

 

 

 

Ride the Rapids

Ride the Rapids

A river can be calm, it can be treacherous and we never know what could be lurking just around the bend. I have had the pleasure of white water rafting, canoeing, and tubing down different rivers. Each experience is as vastly different from the next, thus chancing the experience each and every time. They say you can never go down the same river twice because as time moves with the water, bits and pieces erode, and change, the depth may change, and the fish and other wild life could also change.

Life is often the same as a river, it flows, as the current of time drags us along. Some days the river moves is a nice calm peaceful pace, and others it’s wicked and dangerous, fast, and often unforgiving. Once when I was a younger lad, I was wading across a river near where my Grandfather lived. The water lever was low, but the tide was swift. As I was a little more then halfway across I was headed to a small island, the tide was strong and as long as I had my footing I could withstand the push of the water. I stepped in a large hole and as I sunk and loosing my balance I was whisked away grasping at any weed and grass, any branch I could, but I wasn’t able to stop from being swept down river. My uncle at the time swam out and saved me from being swept down river.

The following year, my cousin who was 4 years younger then me, found herself in a similar situation, but this time, I’d be the one to save her. If anything this taught me to be a strong swimmer in the current, strong because I had to be. Life is often the same as the river, it forces you to be strong and swim because if you don’t, you get swept away and you might not make it. Life can be cruel, and merciless, but as a river can be those things it can also bring great peace and joy. Laying on an inner tube and drifting down the way under the sun laughing and joking with friends, is a gift to be cherished.

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A couple years ago I went white water rafting. We spent the first 20-30 minutes learning how to take commands, and learning how to react as a team in the raft/boat. The rapids would come and it would be important to be able to navigate and manage the rapids that come. A 20 foot drop was just one of the class 5 rapids we’d face. Not much for an experienced rafter, but as we were all novices we had to work together. Isn’t life the same way? When the rapids are small we can handle life just fine, but when it gets so rough we must learn to lean on those around us and help us ride the rapids. We must learn to lean on the one that has the power to calm any storm. Jesus Christ calms the true storms, Matthew 8:23-27 “And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him. And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep. And they went and woke him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing.” And he said to them, “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. And the men marveled, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?” Later in Matthew 14:28-33 “And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” 29 He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind,[e] he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”32 And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33 And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

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 Jesus Christ is the only true way for us to make it through the rapids. We cannot do it on our own. When we try we will always get swept up in the rapids and we will always get overwhelmed. Eventually the waves will be to much, the current too strong, and if we stay in the water too long we will get tired, and the waves will overcome us. Fatigue will take over, and if not careful bring an end to life. Jesus is the only protection we have against the storm. Christ is our anchor, our shelter, and without Christ we may be able to withstand the pull of the current for a little while, but eventually, yes, we will all loose. Have faith in the word of Christ and allow that to be your life jacket. Don’t drown in the waters of life. Have faith and know that if you are not freed from the waters, know that you will be pulled through. Don’t loose sight and keep swimming, always keep swimming.

 

 

 

Guilty Conscious

Guilty Conscious

 Jude 1:13 “They are wild waves of the sea, foaming up their shame; wandering stars, for whom blackest darkness has been reserved forever.” We live this life and we can make mistakes and sometimes we make a mistake that is difficult to come back from. The shame we feel when we have wronged someone deeply can eat us up inside. The past can be heavier then the weight of the world. Like Atlas in the legends of old holding up the edge of the sky, the weight of our decisions on our shoulders weigh us down. We allow the guilt of our decisions to poison us and over time that guilt grows, it spreads like mold and cancer in our bodies. The decease in which there is only one cure. Ecclesiastes 1:8 “All things are full of labour; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.” We can try to right our wrongs, we can try to do all manner of works, but the truth is nothing will ever be good enough. We must learn that in all things anything worth having comes from God. We must learn to allow the Holy Spirit into our hearts, and that’s where forgiveness starts. Forgiveness is only worth anything if we do it right from the start. We must forgive ourselves, and we must learn to let go of our own shame and guilt. Second, we must ask our Father in Heaven to forgive us for our wrongdoing. Lastly we must ask forgiveness from those whom we’ve wronged.

Asking forgiveness or even admitting wrongdoing is usually the result of one major issue, vanity. Ecclesiastes 1:2 “Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.” Vanity is tough, and can be very hard to overcome. Ecclesiastes 2:23 For all his days are full of sorrow, and his work is a vexation. Even in the night his heart does not rest. This also is vanity.” The whole problem is not letting one’s self heal from grief, and mistakes. We can’t live our happy lives if we are stuck in the past. We cannot see the happiness in front of us when we are blinded by pain.

When our pain is no longer a filter for our perspective we can actually see the true meaning behind Ecclesiastes 9:9 “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun.” While this verse states a wife, it truly goes beyond any of that, and all our blessings from the Lord are important and gifts. We must honor our gifts and not take them for granted. When we squander our gifts we shouldn’t be surprised if we don’t get them anymore. Treat every good things as a blessing, a gift from God and honor that gift.

 

 

 

 

Working

Working

While at the time this blog was being written it was felt that things had finally started to look up. While that’s only true for some aspects, life is never a perfect utopia. The life I’ve been dealt is 12 shades of complicated. While I have been spending the last year learning how to live again, and learning how to be on my own. No matter where I am, or how bad I feel, I know that God is still in my life. No matter the people that come into my life, the ones that stay because they want to. Why is it, every time something good happens, it seems something equally as bad rips it away from me. It would be easy to blame God for hardships, but as it is in Lamentations 3:33 “For He does not enjoy bringing affliction or suffering on mankind.” God doesn’t want his children to suffer but lessons must be learned, and the Devil’s war on mankind doesn’t stop.

I have been saved more times over by the hand of God. I have been in the right place at the right time and it’s been to save lives, change lives, or just be there when someone’s needed me. To date I have reached over 80 countries with my blog, and even though it seems like my attendance has taken a drastic downward spiral as of late, the fact is, the numbers are still there, the countries are still watching, and with God’s blessings, I will continue to reach out and touch and perhaps save lives. No matter how broken I may feel, or how depressed my life looks at the moment, I remember Psalm 34:18 “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” We always have a choice, and we always have the chance to work on changing our own perspective. Changing a mindset isn’t easy, it’s difficult sometimes but it’s worth a shot.

No matter how much pain I’m in, or the pain I see in others, knowing God is by my side I have to remember that what makes things better. Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” We may loose our jobs, or we may loose our best friends, we may loose the people we love, but no matter how we hurt the Holy Spirit is with us.

If we truly stand back and look at life around us we might be able to see the Holy Spirit working right in front of our very eyes. As my church has expanded the mission trips members have been going on, hearing back about the success of each mission brings joy and satisfaction knowing that the glorious word of God is being passed on. While this blog is my ministry I can only hope God continues to bless me and my blog, and hopefully help put me on a path to reach even more lives. I can only hope if I remain faithful, remain truthful, remain a servant of the King, that before I die on this earth I will be blessed with happiness, and all my hard work will be rewarded here in this life. Even if things are moving slower then I’d like, I have to have faith that things are still in fact, moving.