Tag: Trials

300

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300

It seems almost ironic that at 300 posts I’m nearly ready to go move on with my life. I’ve spent the last 388 days trying to learn to rebuild. In that time I’ve had some great success and have made wonderful progress. I’ve also suffered major setbacks and further pain. The blog was meant to be a way for me to reach others. It was meant for me to talk to others about the pain I hold inside and despite my best efforts I still have. While in some way and by some measures the blog has been highly successful, I don’t feel it’s reached the height of it’s potential as I wished it had. At my 200th blog entry, July 4th I had “1286 Visitors, 3628 Views, I’ve had 359 likes and 235 Comments. I have reached an astounding 51 countries.” Now 100 posts later I look back over the last 100 days. In 100 days instead of moving to Colorado I suffered a major back injury and instead of migrating west I underwent the knife, received a titanium plate, didn’t drive for a month and a half, and haven’t shot my bow in a hundred days. I’ve not dated anyone, and the only “date” I went on was my wife whom I’ve been separated since last September. Sounds pathetic when I say it out loud, but the chance to go play mini golf, dinner, and hang out was far to much to pass up. While I haven’t done anything spectacular except write, and I’ve kept my mother company, but overall, my contribution to life has been sadly disappointing.

What can I say about the 300 mark that doesn’t sound self-serving? I’ve been struggling to find the inspiration to write every day. It’s not been an easy 100 drays and in that time I’ve written to stay afloat, but the ideas, the titles, the scripture just hasn’t come to me as it once had. The month of September my views dropped by nearly 50%. While I have been told not to judge my own success based on others responses I’ve watched as people celebrate 100 followers in just a couple months. To date I’m at 75, and I’ve been here for months. I would guess the best way to look at this is I’ve continued to reach multiple countries. I’ve continued to reach new people, and while my following has slowed a great deal I continue my work, my mission. 229 days ago I started this mission and I’ve grown. My studies, my growth and my understanding of scripture have grown a great deal.

While I continue looking forward to whatever God has planned for my future, I pray for many things. This journey has been a lonely one, and while I fully understand there was a reason for God to keep me alone all this time I can’t help but hope that time is over. This journey of discovery has been the most difficult year of my life. As I’ve struggled with my own mortality, my own grief, my own demons, I have walked this journey not alone but hand in hand with Christ. While I’ve faced the darkness I can only ask for continued grace even though I’ve done nothing to deserve it. We fail every day and even as I’ve failed, as I’ve fallen, the good Lord has picked me up, brushed off my scrapped knees, and has held my hand when the seas got rough.

While I will always love those from my past, and I pray I will love again in my future, the days that come are slow and long. A look back over the last 100 days and I now sit at 2814 Visitors, 500 Likes, 6114 Views, and 86 Countries.

The voice that calls to me, speaking my name, I turned away for so long, but now I succumb to the voice and let go of who I once was. The days that came and went were only lessons to be learned. I glance behind only to see how long I’ve come. The days of past may haunt us in dreams, but can no longer harm us. The days of yesterday hold grip but tomorrow is where the focus should be. While I am uncertain of my path, uncertain of what may come my way, I am certain of only one thing, God is forever standing by my side. Where there’s trouble you must just call for the Lord and you will not be alone. Our safety is never certain, our prayers are not always answered, but we can rest assure there’s always a reason. While I have prayed every day for someone to truly accept me as theirs, while I have prayed that the fight with the VA would finally be over, while I have prayed that enough would be enough and I’d finally be able to live in a semi state of peace, that has not come to pass. As the road is long and hard I find myself weak and weary. I pray for help, I pray for guidance, and as I am continuously filled with conviction, with God’s love, I have the strength to get by one day at a time. As I rely on God’s grace and mercy I realize the enemy is the Devil, and the doubt is the whispers told in the dark. Like the Spartan’s I would gladly kick Satan down into the abyss, yelling “This Is Sparta!” Or like the President on Air Force One “Get off my plane!” You get the idea. Don’t let Satan lie to you and keep you from reaching your full potential.

While I cannot deny the blessings that are coming my way, it’s a bitter sweet. 300 posts, and as I wait to see how long I can keep up this pace, I know that eventually all good things must come to and end. Where I go form here I don’t know, but what I do know is I will continue to do God’s work, and try to make this world a better place. While I can’t say this blog will have won me any kind of notoriety, I do hope I’ve at least been influential in at least a life. I can only hope and pray that’s the case. The day shall rise and fall, and like the shadows on the wall, the season changes. Hope and prayer are sometimes the two greatest assets we may ever hold onto. Don’t loose hope even when things seem to be at their most bleak. When we look down even for just a moment, we take our eyes off of what’s in front of us, our focus dwindles for a moment, and next thing you know you look up and you’re about to collide with an iceberg. Don’t loose focus because it could be your doom if you do.

While I have noted a sharp drop in my following, and some days the posts I make don’t get a single hit anymore. These days all I can do is try to get the blogs out there. I can only hope to spread the word and hope that others will do so if they feel the desire to. Getting the word out, spreading the website, reposting the blog, sharing with friends and colleagues. My hope is to continue to expand, and I hope to reach more people every day.

 

 

Cha Cha Cha Changes

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Cha Cha Cha Changes

Well, now I have no idea what I’m going to do. The future looks like it’s going to be changing, and I see that it’s likely I’ll be kind of like that guy in a barrel about to go over the lip of the waterfall at Niagara Falls. Big changes come sometimes, and we aren’t always prepared for them. We don’t always know where the changes will take us, and we can’t always prepare for it. The changes that come raises the pressure, so our lives are someplace between Changes by David Bowie, and Pressure by Queen, “Turn to face the change” and “Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you no man ask for, Under pressure that brings a building down, Splits a family in two, Puts people on streets” Life is full of change, and no matter how much we fight against it we just can’t seem to stop the raging river from doing what it wants. Time is that river of course and all way can do is lay back and enjoy the rapids.

While the future has been in a constant state of change with no set direction, nor has there been any resemblance that things are going to be calming down anytime soon, all I can do is sit back and pray. I am sitting around ready to go at a moments notice like the quick reaction force I used to be in Iraq. With major changes to the plan yet again, I haven’t the slightest clue where I’m going, or what I’m doing. With uncertainty the new catchphrase for my life, I’d say it’s back to the drawing board.

Proverbs 16:1-3 “The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord. All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit. Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.” We plan what we want, what we think is best, but as our field of view is limited so we will never see the big picture. We must have faith that just because we may not have the slightest clue what we’re doing, God knows. As long as we are living our life in a Godly way, we can have faith that although the future may not be what we have planned, God’s still with us, God’s still on the throne, and we need to remain faithful and patient.

I remember when I was in Iraq we would sit around the house, we’d be cleaning equipment, playing games, watching movies, or catching up on some sleep. We waited around, waiting for the call that there was a mission. When that mission came we were ready within minutes to go into the unknown. We had a direction, but no idea what we were going to face. We responded to anything and everything to include IED’s (improvised explosive devices), suicide bombers, attacks, escorts, incoming fire locations, or outgoing fire locations. We were always flexible to the point some days we’d have several back to back missions, and often skipped meals for them. I don’t know what changed but I feel as if complacency has attacked me in my sleep. As I think back to what I call my glory days, I find myself longing for a time when I felt like I was making a physical difference in others lives. My teammates, my brothers depended on me to do my job. Now no one depends on me for anything. Reeling from the loss my my wife last year I find myself hoping I once again find someone to fill that void left in my life. I feel like I’m ready and I feel as if I’m sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the next mission. I may not know when it’s going to come, but I know I have to be ready at a moments notice. So, here I am, ready for the changes, hopeful for the future, and ready for my next adventure.

 

 

Evil Shinnanigans

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Evil Shinnanigans

The days come without fail, still no closer to the apocalypse but despite the spinning of our world, the life we live continues on. It’s been no secret the Devils been working overtime this last year to break me, to drag me down to the ground, and it seems more likely he’s trying to put me 6 feet under. While I’m sure He would love nothing more then to take me off the board permanently, I’m afraid to say the rumor of my demise was greatly exaggerated. While this year has been a challenge, I’d say very little difference in my year and the life of Job.

 

It seems that the Devil is up to his old tricks yet again, knocking at my door trying to trick me into opening it, blindly, but that’s not how I do things. You see, in the fight against good and evil the fight doesn’t end till the day we draw our last breath. The day may come when we loose our strength, when we loose our faith in mankind, but today is the day we continue to stand and fight, uphold our beliefs in the Light of the Lord, and continue to walk in the darkness of this world, with our flashlight in hand. Believing in Christ and allowing the light of the world to shine through us. Having Christ working through us is like having a military grade Tac-Light verses that cheap mini mag-light they sell at Walmart.

 

The Devil is like a B-Villian in a superhero show. One who’s just really a useless entity, one that tries and tries to win the battle, but knows deep down, He’ll never win. We may get caught in the wake of the war but only as collateral damage. When we have our foundation set in the Lord, built upon the Rock of Christ.

 

Continue to have faith, and never give up hope. The war is long, but it takes time to build courage, it takes time to learn, to strategize. No matter the pain we feel in the moment of our blows, the losses we will have, the hurt of our broken hearts even when the world itself crumbles to dust, we can always rebuild, we can always overcome. The Devil and His Evil Shinnanigans cannot keep a good Christian down. We are never alone in our fight. We must just look at our neighbors in joint faith and love. Stronger together.

The Good, The Bad, The Ouch

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The Good, The Bad, The Ouch

No matter how nice you may be, no matter how much you do for someone, sometimes people just suck. Yes that’s my official position. Sometimes people are just mean. Sometimes there isn’t a reason for the good and the bad people do. Sometimes people just want to watch the world burn, even if it’s just a small corner of it. Satan loves chaos, he’s the prince of darkness, and the stain of that chaos rings throughout the entire world.

t’s a sad day when some people’s humanity seemed to be stripped away. Some people change and when they do it’s not for the better. When I returned home from Iraq I knew I had changed. The way I looked at the world was different, the way I looked at relationships and love where all different. I came so close to death I gravitated to people and when I cared for someone I cared deeply because I had realized I never knew when the end would come. Because of that I often held on much tighter then those around me. I don’t know if that’s why I’ve struggled to find and keep the love of another in my life, but the heartache and heartbreak that have plagued my life keep things very difficult for me to continue moving forward.

No matter how far someone falls we must always keep hope that redemption is possible. We must always remember that God is always working on every situation and one-day justice will prevail. Patience is something we all struggle with from time to time. As the struggles come to keep the wound sewed shut on my pieced together Frankenstein Monster looking heart, the day will come when the blessing of the Lord will make the wait worthwhile.

While patience of the heart may be the toughest thing we face, we often don’t have a choice. The day will come when the blessings of the Lord will be gifted to the faithful. Proverbs 10:22 “The blessing of the LORD makes rich, and he adds no sorrow with it.” We may suffer but it can’t be forever. As much as the pain hurts, you must remember to reach out and continue to reach out until the pain is bearable again. Every day I wake I feel the sharp stabbing pain in my chest. I feel the burden of my cross so heavy I feel like it’s dragging me to my knees. No matter how hard I’ve tried this last year I still feel like the wound is fresh and not healing at all. I’ve attempted, but I feel as if I’m floating in stagnant water, barely keeping my head above the murky water. I feel like I’m drowning every day of my life, and every attempt I’ve made at making my life better, and every attempt to improve my path have failed and have left me searching for answers, searching for an absolution.

 

Dead or Alive

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Dead or Alive

The wanted poster nailed to the wall with your picture, it says Wanted Dead or Alive. We live our life some choose good, while some choose bad. We fight to move, we move to survive. While this world is a jungle with traps everywhere you look trying to drag you to your knees. We try to survive by doing what our conscious, our moral compass tells us is the right thing to do. Some people their compass allows them to hurt anyone around them. Some live to serve others, and others just want to get by and be left alone, but the jungle doesn’t discriminate, it lies and waits for anyone to fall into it’s trap, like quicksand it grabs you and pulls you down until you are covered and can no longer breathe. The world’s jungle doesn’t judge you, it tries to destroy everyone, and attempts to bring everyone down. The truth is the world doesn’t care if you’re dead or alive because the world is Sin. The Devil is like the Sheriff in Robin Hood. This is a character that always tries to trap and capture the good man Robin Hood and the Merry Men who only want to help those who can’t help themselves. The Devil wants to corrupt the hearts of man. The Devil wants to draw you away from the path of righteousness and doesn’t care how. You see the Devil wants you dead or alive. The Devil wants you to spread evil and hate, and if you won’t, the Devil doesn’t care how he breaks you. Either you spread the hate, or deny Christ, either way the Devil wants you to die doing one of the other that way you never enter the eternal gates of Heaven.

How do we overcome our death sentence, and how do we survive the jungle? God can save us and has saved us from the chains that once bound us to eternal damnation. The chains were broken when innocent blood was spilt, an innocent man was killed as an inadvertent sacrifice to the Lord above on Passover. The Pharisees who killed Jesus didn’t understand his purpose, they didn’t understand the very scripture they had spent a lifetime learning and teaching. The Lord of all went to trial and on trumped up charges accepted the sentence of torture and crucifixion. Jesus knew the sentence, he allowed the temptation to occur in the garden and still denying the Devil three times and then allowed the Roman soldiers to take action against him. Knowing he was going to die the most painful death, he found it in His heart to heal the very roman soldier that had come to take him to his death. He healed the soldier whose ear had been cut off. Forgiveness was still in His heart. The blood spilt that day before the sun had set fulfilled scripture. The eclipse and the earthquake that split the temple tapestry that symbolized the curtain between man and God was no more. While the Devil wanted mankind to die because of jealousy, because of hate, because of sin, the Devil wanted mankind to never have the relationship with God, never wanted mankind to be allowed to where the Devil was banished. Since the Devil wasn’t able to prevent the sacrificial lamb from His fate, now the Devil continues to fight for the souls of mankind.

While the Devil wants us dead or alive, Jesus promised life. We have the opportunity to live and avoid the death sentence the Devil would want for us. Salvation is simple yet difficult at the same time. Sin is strong and pulls at us always. Why does someone have a casual relationship with the truth and lies so easily and frequently? Why is murder so easy for some? Why is hate and bigotry so simple for some? Sin takes so many lives. There’s no real way to know the casualties of war. When we watch someone die we can only hope and assume they were saved. Do you feel cold and lost in desperation? Are you lost because sadness and frustration is all you’ve ever known? We must learn to let it go, and see the light above the clouds. While the war rages on day in and day out, always know that just because you can’t see the sun through the clouds doesn’t mean it isn’t there. You’ve felt the cold and evil pull of Satan, but if you trust that one day the clouds will split because the Lord of the Universe has promised to defeat Sin, promised to cast the deceiver down into the vast pit of Hell and create a new Heaven and a New Earth where there will be no more sorrow, and no more tears. Let it go, let go of all the pain that stains your heart, let go of the hate that sits in your heart. Let go of your desperation and remember that just because you can’t see or feel God, doesn’t mean He isn’t with you always. Hope is a fragile thing, but scripture rings truth. Remember all the promises God has made to us. Don’t allow yourself to fall to the traps within this jungle. We never know when the end will come and we don’t want to fall into a trap before we accept Christ into our hearts. We know our salvation rests within Christ so be sure to keep your salvation packed away tucked in tight so you don’t loose it, but to have it means to use it, if you don’t use it you could loose it.

Exodus 14:14 “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Isaiah 40:29 “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”

Isaiah 40:31 “but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Deuteronomy 31:8 “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Psalm 23 “1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.3 He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surelygoodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”

 Have faith in the Lord. Remember that just because charges may be brought against you that doesn’t mean you’re guilty. Remember that you will stand trial and the sins will be weighed at the foot of the cross. Never let Satan take your hope from you for as long as God is God, and God is still on the throne there is always hope. Let there be no mistake God is still in control, and just because the bad things that happen to us, and it seems like the end of the world God can and does always use every situation for a chance for us to bring Glory to His name. Never forget who the judge is. You and I aren’t it, and Satan certainly isn’t it even though he is the corrupt lawyer trying to get your death sentence sped up. Thee Judge on high sees right through Him. Jesus was our defense lawyer and no wicked sheriff or prosecutor will be able to get past the righteousness of our Father.

“Let mercy come and wash away what I’ve done. I’ll face myself to cross out what I’ve become.” “For what I’ve done I start again And whatever pain may come Today this ends I’m forgiving what I’ve done I’ll face myself to cross out what I’ve become Erase myself And let go of what I’ve done” (Linkin Park) Remember that asking God for forgiveness, asking others for forgiveness, is only part of it. We must learn to forgive ourselves also. We will make mistakes we’re human. If you’re going to be placed on trial be sure to only face the charges that are yours face. Forgiving one’s own mistakes is sometimes harder then accepting it from others so be sure to look inside and face the truth for what it is. Don’t accept responsibility for things you haven’t done, but be man enough to accept the things you have. We all face trial in the end. Do you want to die, or do you want to live? Eternal death, or eternal life, the choice is ours. The life we live is hard, but most of what life is, is just fluff anyway. Learn to tell the stuff that really matters and the stuff that doesn’t. Don’t let the small stuff in this life turn into big stuff at your trial. The little lies, the things like cheating, or stealing may not be big in your eyes but to God all sin is sin. Don’t let man’s laws on importance change your perspective. How you treat others, how you treat yourself, how you live the big and small, the good, the bad, and the ugly will all be presented at your trial and the Devil is just licking his chops waiting for you to sin and keep right on sinning. Do the right thing and have respect for yourself, and for others. You are responsible for your own actions, and what do you want, dead, or alive?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why do I feel the way I do?

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Why do I feel the way I do?

I’ve been considering an awful lot about my future these last few weeks I’ve been in recovery. I’ve been wondering why it’s been so hard to meet new people. I’ve been wondering why every plan I’ve had since my separation started has blown up in my face. I’ve been wondering why every new potential lady I’ve met has ghosted me. What does that say about me? Am I being prepared for something more in the future, or something I’m supposed to learn right here and now? While of course I won’t ever have an answer the questions come regardless.

A verse that popped out at me today Hebrews 4:12 “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” While I have begged for a change of heart, a change in the way I feel in certain circumstances, I have yet to overcome a particular character flaw, or at least what I perceive as a flaw. God can see what is in our heart of hearts. He sees beyond the mask we wear and show those around us. God sees everything and knows our deepest thoughts, even the ones we may bury so deep we ourselves don’t see them. The truth in the word can often cut us deep to the bone. My personal experience has led me to feel the conviction on more then one occasion. There was a major event last year that touched me. There was a sermon on forgiveness that I needed to hear just one day after I found out about a serious wrong against me by someone I cared for.

Hebrews 4:13 “Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.” God knows what we need and when we need it. The right message at the perfect time and when we don’t listen to the word the message is sent to us one way or another, and perhaps by force. The Father wants what’s best for us, and sometimes when the father wants to teach children a particular lesson you have to have a more stern teaching method. Though I’m not a father, and I never had a father, I pay attention to the fathers of my close friends. As I have often felt bitter about the way my life has gone, the hardships I’ve faced and I am forced to remind myself that scripture is full of those who went through so much pain prior to death. Moses, Joseph, Stephen, Paul, David (Prior to becoming King), and of course the suffering and crucifixion of Jesus Christ. If my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ could go through torture, relinquishing any pride, and knowing what was at stake, our immortal souls free from eternal damnation.

Knowing all of this, why do I still feel like I’m not good enough? Romans 7:14-20 “For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. 15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good.17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.” Knowing I am special and unique because I am of God’s creation does not stop my own self worth being in question. Perhaps the biggest issue is the built in flaw that we see as a flaw, but what if that flaw isn’t a flaw at all. 2 Corinthians 12:7 “So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited.” While I am always willing to admit I’m wrong, and I may be on the built in flaw aspect, it would make sense to ensure we aren’t conceited. For me my biggest failing is my self worth, and the need for social interaction. I guess one of the biggest things to face is the problem, and admitting there is one, or at least something to work on. While it’s very possible that these flaws are there to give us something to always work on. None of us are perfect because we can’t be. Sin prevents perfection and the sooner we realize what our flaws are, accept them, and focus on fixing them to the best of our ability we can realize we are exactly as God created us.

Every waking day we fight because the battle doesn’t stop just because we don’t want to fight anymore. While I would love nothing more to drop off the grid, if I could manage the solitude I have often questioned if anyone would miss me. I have often questioned if I could get over my social requirements if I could actually survive out on my own. I have questioned if I could manage to live on a boat by myself on the sea, in a cabin in the woods, and just survive without the influence of the world. The world beats us down and some people have more struggles then others. The path and struggle although painful and full of sacrifice, the end result is something more. We can either embrace the fire or run from it. I feel the way I do because the world has been a cruel and unforgiving place full of pits and spikes, and flaming arrows that have burned down my life more then once. The house can always be rebuilt if the foundation is strong. A tree can be cut back and cut back, but with strong roots it can grow again. When the world burns down the house to the foundation rebuilding takes time. So long as we realize rebuilding can’t and won’t happen over night, we can be in the right mindset that rebuilding is a chance to change, a chance to fix mistakes, make things bigger and stronger then they were before. To purge the old and make way for the new, but there will be hardships along the way, there will be tests, but know that God never allows you to go through the tests until you’re ready to overcome them. Be brave and keep calm, buckle your armor and prepare for the next step, the next chapter and face the enemy head on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Get to the point

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Get to the point

Trust in all things the Lord is with you. Believe that in everything good and bad God is with you. Trust that each trial each test the teacher is always watching. The pull of the dark side is strong and the promises of the world that doing it the worlds way is more fun, is okay because it feels good.

Proverbs 4:14 “Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men.” We may not always see the consequences of our actions, of our sin but they are there. We may not always know the wrongs in front of us, but when we don’t listen to the wise Godly counsel we fall into a whole new level of problems. Proverbs 12:15 “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.” No matter how far we fall or go off course we can take comfort knowing that we will be forgiven for our transgressions. We will be forgiven for the mistakes we make.

I had someone tell me once that they needed to live their life the way the best saw fit. That they needed to know they could do it alone. The thing is with all of this trouble we aren’t alone. Proverbs 14:12 There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death” In the grand scheme of life what’s the point? Is the feathers of an arrow the most important part, the shaft of the arrow, nope that’s not it either. The point, the bladed arrowhead that pierces through armor, that draws the blood, pierces the locks that hide the truth from the world, the arrowhead that drives home the point. Christ is the way, the only way, and it’s in that, that we must draw strength. The integral parts of the arrow cannot work without the others. It’s way it flies, the way it pierces, the point of this has always been, the word of God.

The truth is only important if it’s spread around and told to others. The truth cannot be denied as the truth, but can only be accepted as the truth so long as others hear it. The truth as only learned by one is not affective. Yes the saving of one life is worth everything, but if we can save the lives of more we should.

Walk away from the lies of the world, walk away of the sinful desires, the wishes of a sinful soul. Do not fear the light, do not fear the sun, yet turn your back on Satan, and follow the true path. Realize the darkness inside and cast out the demons that mean to distract you, to take you away from God. Be the point of the arrow and drive home the meaning, the mission. Do not fear for the Lord our God is with you. Always have hope, and help will always be there to those who ask for it.

The Improvised

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The improvised 
Sitting here in the ER alone as I’ve sent mom home to rest, gather supplies, and get ready for the long day, I find myself pondering what I guess most people ponder when looking at a life altering surgery. Who are my loved ones, who cares who doesn’t? Is my Will complete and dang did I leave the stove on? I am reminded of so many one liners but I’ll spare all of you the boring repartee and just know that I haven’t forgotten about my avid readers. I may be out for the day, but as long as I have a phone I’ll still work my guru magic and post something. 
While I was here I was able to doodle a little something and while it’s not finished because as you’ll all see I’m no artist, I haven’t lost sight of my goal. I will continue to work on my ministries and with Gods grace continue to touch lives. So as I get ready for what looks so far to be surgery, back surgery it is. While the surgeons are deliberating and I’m going on almost 24 hours awake, I’m reminded of some bible verses. 
1 Peter 1:6-7 “6 Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: 7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:”
Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.”
We may have setback and we may have plans that go off the rails but even in the darkest of days the brightest of flowers may still bloom. 

Safe Journey

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Safe Journey

A close friend of my, my Pastor left on a trip to Europe, and this just after two terrorist attacks in Europe, the UK to be specific. This reminded me of the story so often played out in the Bible, the New Testament to be exact. Luke 4: 28-30 “All the people in the synagogue were furious when they heard this. They got up, drove him out of the town, and took him to the brow of the hill on which the town was built, in order to throw him off the cliff. But he walked right through the crowd and went on his way.” Jesus knew when it was time to go, and time to stay. Jesus was well aware of his surroundings, and we could learn a thing or two.

No matter where we go, or what we’re doing we know that God is always with us, so the scripture says. If the journey is long and dangerous which it is, then it looks like Jesus is the muscle, our bodyguard, our protector. Matthew 6:25 “Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; not yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more then meat, and the than rainment? This verse goes on to say all things will be provided to the faithful, and worrying about the day or tomorrow doesn’t actually give you any more ability or power to change the outcome. You can worry about being taller all day long, but that doesn’t mean you will get taller. Psalm 23:4 The Valley of the Shadow Of Death, yet peace and comfort come.

I’ve traveled a lot of places in my 33 years on this world. I have had good and bad travels. The closest I ever came to death or at least as it appeared from where I was standing, or better put nearly falling, was returning to Camp Junction City in Ar-Ramadi from my R&R in Qatar. We were in a C-130 headed for Baghdad. There was a sandstorm while we were supposed to land so we circled for a while. At some point the decision was made to send us back to Qatar, but we needed something first, fuel. The mid air refuel wouldn’t take too long once the plane arrived with two F-16 escorts. The sandstorm was getting pretty bad from what we were told. Just after the fueling process was over we started to turn to make our way back to Qatar. When the F-16’s broke off to head back to where they came from apparently one of them suffered severe engine failure and began to crash. The pilot ejected and was later recovered unharmed. As for us we returned to the bright and sunny island where I’d spend another week before a second transport attempt. On the second trip to Baghdad we were carrying a slew of gym equipment. This time when we reached the City we circled because there was a good bit of firefights around the area we were supposed to land. We’d been circling for a bit when we decided to stand and walk around the plane. Without warning the plane banked hard to the starboard side. My feet went out from under me and I reached up to grab the piece of equipment that I was hopping was safely secured to the deck plate. One of the guys wasn’t so lucky and he hit the bench and the wall of the plane. He screamed he was all right though so not to worry. We leveled off and the pilot told us to get back to the seats and hold on tight. We started to nose dive and the pit of your stomach flew straight into your throat. We leveled out again and without any notice the landing gear dropped and seconds later we were back on Iraqi soil. Once we landed we received word the reason for the drastic and violent course changes was because we were taking fire. The pilot told us it was small arms fire but still following procedure, no one was seriously injured. Our trip came to an abrupt end, but it ended safely.

We realize that in our walk with Christ we aren’t always going to be safe. We realize that sometimes that safety is only an illusion, because in Christianity we may be called to go places where it’s not safe, where being a Christian is still punishable by death. We don’t have to worry about that here in the United States, however, what we have might be far worse for our walk with Christ. We have the world. The world as we know it is corrupt and evil. The world tries to get us, it tries to get us to sin in all different kinds of ways. The world wants us to fail, and the attack on our souls in the US might be worse than the attacks on our bodies in some of the other countries. We have our ways to protect ourselves but only if we carry it with us in our hearts, that’s the word and Holy Spirit of God. When we go out into the world to proclaim the name of Christ we need to keep our wits about us. We must be careful because the Devil slithers around seeking for his next target.

Each and every one of us in on our own journey, our own path, running our own race and at every step of that race there can be an obstacle for us to face. The race is not a sprint, but a marathon for us that will take endurance and patience. 2 Timothy 4:7 “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.” How will you finish your journey, will it be strong, pushing yourself, or will you fall and give up on yourself? God won’t give up on you, so you shouldn’t. You’re stronger then you think you are, and if our God is for us, who then can be against us?

Embrace the Suck

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Embrace the Suck

Embrace the Suck is a crude but effective motto many in the military use to try and make the life of a soldier a bit more bearable. The life of anyone in the military can be challenging for mind, body and soul. The day in and day out routine and tasks can take you to the very edge of what you believe, what you perceive to be the farthest you can go without snapping. I’m here to tell you, everyone has a breaking point, but that point can be less traumatic if we know the God, the Lord of all things. The truth is, the military is not a bad career. Sure there are aspects of it that are horrible and we all can’t stand, but once you learn how to embrace the parts that are toughest we can finally embrace the joys and the beauty.

Does knowing we are going to suffer make the pain any less important? If you were going to be tortured, but you were told first would that make the torture any less difficult? No of course not. John 16:33 “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” If Jesus suffered as brutally as he had, what makes us think we are special? If Jesus had to be tortured to save the sins of every man, woman, child from past, present, and future, our little bit of discomfort is nothing compared to what Christ endured for us. Remember He could have stopped that beating and the ridicule, and the painful suffocation anytime. Romans 8:18 “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time [are] not worthy [to be compared] with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”

 No one said we have to like the pain and suffering, but it does do one thing, it’ll either draw us closer to God, or push us away. If each one of our trials is a test, or temptation by Satin how do we want to be graded? If you look back at every situation you’ve ever been put in and had to give yourself a legitimate grade, an honest non biased grade, what do you think your overall GPA would be now if al those points were to be added up? We need to consider the next time someone gets under our skin what it looks like when we curse them out, or throw a frying pan at their head. How we act, how we respond, every word is being counted. Remember once uttered no word can be taken back and forgotten. The words we use can drastically hurt those around us. It’s time to be an adult and leave petty squabbles behind.

We as Christians should be leading the way in healthy problem solving. We as Christians should be setting the gold standard as to how to maintain order and peace. Living in Christ we don’t disserve Gods love, but we get it anyway. We are all sinners, but the water washes away that sin and we are left a new version of our old selves. Be one in the light and let God use you. We will never be perfect and we will often make mistakes, but it’s how we handle those mistakes, how we make decisions, and how we treat those around us is how we are to be judged by God.

The next time you’re in the middle of a horrible experience remember you’re being watched. Remember God sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, he knows when you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake. Yes I realize that’s a Christmas song for Santa, but it still applies.

THE DEVIL WHISPERED IN MY EAR

‘YOU’RE NOT STRONG ENOUGH

TO WHITHSTAND THE STORM’

TODAY I WHISPERED IN THE DEIL’S EAR

“I AM THE STORM.”

*U.S. VETERAN*