Tag: The Mask

Don The Mask Again

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Don The Mask Again

There are all kinds of reasons people wear masks. They don’t want the world to see them as they are. They want to hide a part of themselves. They want to blend in. More often than not a mask is used to hide very real pain deep down. Are we ashamed of ourselves or at the very least a part of ourselves? Do we feel we are insignificant? Do we hide the struggle within because we are afraid how the world will react?

It’s the last one I’d like to focus on today. Are we a Christian society that lifts up or do we tear down? Do we show people love and compassion, or do we sew hate and disgust? The truth is, when asked how we are doing, the number one answer is an ambiguous ‘I’m fine’. So many people use sarcasm or misdirection to hide the true nature of their feelings, myself included.

Growing up, I loved Halloween because it gave me the chance one night a year to be anyone else. I was able to dress up and hide my identity and be anything else, albeit for one night only. The truth is, not much has changed in all those years. I still enjoy dressing up and being someone else for a night or two, or maybe as an adult I’ve found a few more nights a year to dress up, but the mask I wear as an adult isn’t to hide my identity, it’s to hide my feelings. Recently, I’ve been dealing with a few…. differences of opinions. I am not one to post a lot to social media, and I don’t usually ruffle feathers by making too many comments on others profiles, even if I disagree with whatever’s posted. Lately though, I’ve had a few disagree with the content of my posts, regarding Easter, or Abortion, but really the subject matter isn’t important. The part that’s really hit me in the feelers is how those coming to me attack my faith, those who fight for equality, but who are also supposed to be my friend. People I’ve known for more than half my life, people I trusted as a friend, have seemingly decided their offense of the cross was stronger than our friendship. In recent years I found I no longer get messages asking me how I’m doing, or checking up on me, but I’m kept around anyway. Why would someone go out of their way to openly attack a friend?

As Christians are we doing this to others? When people want to open up about the troubles they face, (MAKE NO MISTAKE WE ALL HAVE TROUBLES) are we listening according to scripture? Are we there for our brothers and sisters in their times of need, or are we turning our backs on them, forcing them to deal with their burdens alone. It makes me sick when I hear about a suicide. I wonder who they had in their life to talk too. I wonder who was there for them to lean on, who was that friend to help carry the load when it’s too strong. Are we a friend for someone to lean on? (Yes believe it or not that’s a song) When so many people shut the door and treat us as distant once in a while friends, it’s easy to understand why so many people feel the need to wear the mask. We hide our feelings because we are vulnerable in this day in age to be rejected for feeling anything but happy. What was it that Jesus Said Matthew 11:28-30 (NKJV) 28 “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am [a]gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Christ tells us to come to Him when we are feeling weak and low. And we are called to be like Christ, yet we shun those who struggle. 

No, the truth is, I’m not all right. In the last couple weeks I’ve been dealing with a constant financial struggle with school. I’ve buried my aunt/God Mother. I’ve dealt with attacks from those who were supposed to be friends. I’ve had financial struggle pop up largely because I was stupid. I’ve been dealing with a slight bout of depression. I’ve felt very alone as of late. Dealing with the choice to date someone almost 9000 miles away. While I wouldn’t change that decision for the world, it does come with it’s own set of hardships which are very real. I’ve been feeling trapped and unable to change my current situation. While I understand none of these things is all that bad in the grand scheme of things, they all create stress, and stress in the moment is still very real to the one perceiving the situation. No, it could be much worse, as I could be in Sri Lanka dealing with the losses, which are horrific in the recent round of bombings. Or in the city of Durham where a building blew up from a gas leak, where someone lost their life and dozens wounded. In comparison yes, my problems shadow, but a persons problems are no more or less real in the moment of someone’s life. How are we treating those ‘friends’ of ours when they are in need? Are we forcing our friends to wear a mask and hide their pain, or their struggles?

Masks don’t just hide pain, masks hide addictions of all shapes and sizes, substance abuse, alcohol, pornography, gambling, video game, spending, eating, and the list goes on. Are we forcing people to wear masks to hide these afflictions because they are too afraid to say anything based on something we’ve done? Do we as Christians have a aura of being better, or holier than though? Sin is sin, and no sin is greater or worse than another (except for blaspheming against the Lord). We tend to say well I’m a good person, I’ve never killed anyone, or I’ve never stolen anything, etc. but we grade on a far different curve then God. God looks into our heart, and sees the strain, He sees the struggle within. God wants us to turn to Him when we are in need of help. God wants us to pray and ask for His love and His mercy, and His guidance. If we are to be little Christ, are we truly availing our hearts to those around us who are in need? Christ died for our Sins, and vowed to be with us always till the end of the age meaning forever because Heaven is eternal.

To be honest I’m tired of pretending like everything’s okay. I’m tired of struggling daily to keep hidden my pain. I’m tired of telling everyone I’m fine, and in reality I feel miserable and alone. I pray to the Father every day for strength to get through my day, and not feel overwhelmed with everything I have to do in a day. There are a vast number of problems in need of solving that I cannot solve in a day. There are so many people out there who struggle daily, and we constantly let them down. Wearing the mask will never hide the eyes. The eyes often show more than we wish, but we as a society no longer pay attention to the world around us. We are taught in this world to look out for number one, ourselves. Scripture itself tells us to Proverbs 4:23“Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.” Which doesn’t means to not show or share emotions, but to protect it from attacks, or miss teachings. 

We may choose to hide ourselves from people, but we can never hide ourselves away from God. God sees all, and wants only a relationship with us. God wants us to be willing to accept His love, and grace. In order to receive it though we have to open our hearts to the Lord. Nothing can be hidden in the light of the Lord, so we shouldn’t even try. As for people, I struggle to remove my mask for them to see, and sadly there’s good reason, my friends (some of them, not all) have not been very good friends. So the mask stays on for the majority, and I shall continue to hide away, pretend all is well, and only reveal the secret to those whom I can truly trust.

The Face of Evil

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The Face of Evil

Does the face we show the world reflect the heart within? Does the soul we have look dark, shrouded in shadow? I’ve lived only a little while on this earth by some standards yet in that time I’ve seen the face of evil more then once. I’ve watched as men killed one another over religious ideologies. I’ve see the horrible things that come from war as people smile to your face, but in their hearts, they want to kill you. I have watched as loved ones who claimed to be loving, and devoted to me have turned their backs on vows and promises, and oaths, and instead while on the outside I see the loving face, the kisses, the hugs, on the inside the plots begin, and horrible things loom. The treachery that looms within a person can lay dormant for years, but as the Billy Joel song goes, “We all have a face that we hide away forever.” Sometimes we come home to a face we don’t recognize, but that’s because some people hide who they are and try to be something they aren’t. How do we handle when the world of people changes right before our eyes? Does the change in a person break our foundation? For a moment to long it broke mine. I fell and when I did the whole world seem to break and fall apart. I let myself be fooled by my own blindness and the day the truth came out, I fractured and fell into the deepest despair I could ever imagine.

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The day the shot rang out changed everything for me. My entire outlook on life changed, along with my outlook on people. In the year that’s followed I have seen more hateful, more hurtful, more disgraceful behavior come out of the people that were supposed to be my closest friends. I have seen the good in people, the generosity, the love, but sadly the bad has far outweighed the good. The end though is one day the end will come for us all, and we will be judged not by the works we’ve done, or the money we have, or the kittens we’ve saved out of trees, the judgment at the foot of the cross will be on the content of our hearts. Isn’t it the judgment within ourselves we should be focused on most though? I’ve struggled with taking the blame for things I really didn’t have anything to do with. I’ve watched as my world fell around me and I held myself to blame. As I have watched a utter change up in my life in nearly every category,

When I have my bad days, I often feel the pull of the Devil inside my head. I feel the darkness creeping in telling me lies, and telling me I’m not worthwhile. While the world can be unfair and cruel, we can’t allow ourselves to succumb to it. We cannot allow ourselves to harden our hearts, and become cold and cruel. We can’t be the villains in our story. There are a few quotes I remember that make me think about this topic. “All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That’s how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once, am I right? I know I am. I can tell. You had a bad day and everything changed.” (Joker) While Batman’s bad day led him to the roll of hero, I can’t say that happens to everyone. I think more often then not, people’s bad days lead them down a darker path. I think for most people it follows this “As you know, madness is like gravity…all it takes is a little push.” (Joker) When we think about it, aren’t we fragile creatures? The mind is a fragile thing. The Devil prays on that weakness, he prays on our insecurities, and our shortcomings, and in that we must learn to take our lows to the Lord. Do not allow yourself to fall pray to the darkness. Fight the Devil and remember to always keep your mind to the Lord.

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The pain will come I can whittle away pieces of your heart if you’re not careful. We don’t want that bad day to come when we give up who we are, and forsake everything we’ve built. I’ve seen marriages fall apart because of one big bad day. One thing, one major event can shake your and crack your foundation if you aren’t careful. As Frank Castle once told DareDevil, ““You know, you’re one bad day away from being me.” We don’t want to the one to destroy everything around us. Sadly I had a bad day once and I would loose what was most important to me. 18 months later I’m still trying to put the pieces back together in my life. While I’m not perfect I was recently told I’ve made great improvements in a years time. The thing is, progress no matter how slow is progress. We must continue to move forward. People will come into your life and they will be whatever they are going to be. Some will be kind and sweet, others will be the face of evil and sadly we will feel the pain from lies, betrayal, and loss.

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Don’t quit on yourself, and don’t loose your way. Stay on your path with Jesus and don’t let the masks hurt you, don’t let the masks lie to you. Don’t don your mask and be something you’re not. Devote your heart to the Lord and let that be your world. Stay away from the faces of evil. Keep fighting the good fight, and the day you finish the race, you’ll have something to be proud of. Love Jesus and let the light be in you always.

 

 

 

Two Faced

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Two Faced

Some people hide away feelings, by burying them deep down. Some people run from their feelings. Other people live their life embracing their duality. They are kind to you to your face, and lie behind your back to anyone who will listen. I’ve seen this many times in my life but particularly meeting people online. Many people will talk to you like nothing’s wrong. I’ve watched as people would talk to me and smile, and seem interested, but quietly block me ending all conversations. I’ve also seen people tell me one thing, lie to my face, and go behind my back and break long standing trust. Sadly this is something that seems to be growing in popularity as time goes on. The Bible speaks on duel minded people. Psalm 28:3 “Draw me not away with the wicked, and with the workers of iniquity, which speak peace to their neighbours, but mischief is in their hearts.”

 We who are unstable in our faith, who waiver in our foundation of Christ, are easy moved. James 1:6“But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.” It’s hard being the ones on the receiving end. It’s hard being lied to, and figuring out who’s being true. James 1:8 “being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” People who live lives as hypocrites isn’t a new thing. It goes back all the way to biblical days and likely prior to that. Matthew 23:24 “Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess.”

In my life the pain that’s been caused from those who have chosen to live this life is difficult, but what’s worse is when it’s someone whose sworn a vow to be with you. Someone who’s promised their life to you, and has chosen to be an adulteress instead. James 4:4 “You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” All we can do is pray for them and try to mend a broken heart, and broken trust. We are all human, and we all fall pray to the Devils lies and false promises. The Devil wants us to fail so when temptation is offered sometimes it’s hard to resist. If there’s a chink in the armor the Devil will find a way in. He’s always testing the waters, always testing the boundaries, always looking for some weak point to exploit. People are flawed, and people make mistakes. Be sure when they do you open your arms in forgiveness. Just because someone falls pray to the Devils lies today, doesn’t mean it won’t be you tomorrow.

We will always find people who do this. It’s common in high school and middle school, but you would hope as you grow out of that adolescent time period that truth and honesty would be important. When we find ourselves face to face with someone who lies behind our back, or has a duel behavior, all we can do is pray. We must learn to make safe boundaries for those people. We don’t want to abandon our brothers and sisters in Christ, but we don’t want to set ourselves up for pain either. Do not be unequally yoked with the people you are close to. People who are in a marriage with should not be unequal in their beliefs.

While I am a firm believer in giving people more then one chance to make up for wrong doing, I have found in my own life I often give way to many chances. I have put myself in positions where I am hurt over and over because I am not careful with the trust I give to someone. I have let people back into my life after they have said and done very awful things to me. I have watched as my life has been destroyed by people I care for and have let me back into my life, only to watch them do more damage later on. We must remember to protect ourselves from harmful people. You have to keep yourself safe and therefore strong. We must not allow the wolves inside the walls. Wolves are cunning and when hunting they will test the boundaries to try and find a way inside. They thrive on that behavior. All we can do is hope one day they see the error and cruelty of their ways, but until then pray and hope God enters their heart.

 

The Mask doesn’t hide the Eyes

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The Mask doesn’t hide the Eyes

 

Why do heroes hide their faces? Hero’s wear masks because they don’t want their identity known. They wear masks to protect the ones they care about. Most masks however don’t hide the eyes. There’s something to be said about wanting to hide your identity. There’s a truth behind wanting to be someone, or something other then the truth of what remains. The mask that allows the eyes to be seen to the trained observer, they can see through and it’s incredibly difficult to hide. When the world is heavy, the road is rough. When the sins of this world destroy our faith in humanity, the fall from eve is littered with the foretelling of what was to come for us. Genesis 3:18-20 “18 Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you, And you shall eat the herb of the field. 19 In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread Till you return to the ground, For out of it you were taken; For dust you are, And to dust you shall return.” The ground shall bring forth the pains to get in the way of hard work. The world turned to be inhospitable and in that, the promise we will return to the ground.

We hide our pain, and we hide the suffering deep down. We push people away, and we hurt people that are close to us so that we can run from our own pain. Perhaps we push those away because a mistake we’ve made and we fear of hurting them again. Whatever the reason, whatever the cause, no mater what it is, we hide the pain so deeply inside that perhaps we may never feel whole again.

The focus of our lives are the things we perceive to be important. The loved ones we have, our prized possessions, our favored pet, but through it all it’s God. God being our number one is the only true comfort we will ever have. When we find our comfort, our desires fulfilled through worldly means, the long term important issues will always fail us. People will let us down, but how do we handle life when it does? When life is at it’s worst, when we just can’t seem to catch a break we wear that pain in our eyes. It’s hard to fake it till you make it sometimes. Often we bury that pain and we store it till we eventually just can’t do it anymore. When we hold onto and hide that pain how often do we feel horrible?

The life we live continues as the sum comes up. Up early while everyone sleeps. The world still spins. The world doesn’t stop to ask if you’re all right. The world doesn’t stop when pain hits. So if the world doesn’t stop I shall not either. The pain will remain, and the eyes will hold it. The mask shall stay on. Hide as much as I can, and only time, a lot of time perhaps, will eventually allow the pain to leave.