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Ashes To Ashes: We All Fall Down

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Ashes To Ashes: We All Fall Down

For the vast majority of my life, I have been hunting, searching for, and pining for friendships. I grew up without a sibling, and spent a lot of time alone. I wanted nothing more than to have friends. After I moved to the trailer park when I was 5 years old, I found a friend after living there for a little while. It took years before I met other friends. I met the two others within a couple years of one another. I ended up having two groups of friends, Daniel my first, and Joe, and Josh my others. When I moved though, those friendships faded. Over the years the second group not only faded, but became ideologically opposed to me based on faith and politics. I was a Christian, they were not. I tried to keep in touch, but they stopped returning my calls. Though I was treated horribly in middle school, bullied, and eventually faced torture: the peeing on my shoes in stalls, the stealing of my clothes in gym, the theft of my personal property such as a gold necklace, the constant teasing, even so much as being told after my mothers attempted suicide, “even she hated you, she had to try and kill herself to get away from you.” I was in seventh grade when I felt the first major sting of betrayal. My mother told one of my newer friends mother personal things about my early childhood. His mother told him, and in the middle of the lunch line, he told everyone. I was standing two feet from him when he did it. I was mortified at the level of such a casual betrayal and how easy it was to betray his friend. He didn’t want to get picked on himself, so he gave his bullies something juicier, he gave them me. After I left lower Michigan after my emancipation, i moved in with my grandpa. I made some new friends, but over the years they too would largely disappear. My dating life would become difficult also. I would be heartbroken multiple times. One after another would break my heart and leave. It was often because of the way I looked and their lack of attraction to me, or they just felt I was too different. Could I have been feeling too deeply about them? Could I have been holding on too tight that I couldn’t see the warning signs? During my time in the military, while I was good at my job, I was different. I didn’t quite fit in. My personality was odd compared to everyone else. It wasn’t a lack of bravery, or skill, but something else, deeper into my personality. After I left the military, I felt more alone than I had ever felt in my life. Though some of my military friends stayed in touch once I left, I felt incredibly alone, and lost without a direction. Military friends are generally bad at keeping in touch. While there for serious matters, it took my 2016 incident for us to create a group chat to keep in touch. Before I discharged from the military I got married to a beautiful woman. I got married very fast. She had never been with a good guy, and I was her first. We had physical chemistry, but as we spent more and more time together, that wasn’t enough to hold the marriage together. Even though I was married, I was unable to make any lasting friendships. In reality, I made few friendships while living in Europe. Two years in Europe, and within a few months of leaving, the few connections I made vanished like a vapor. Nothing stuck, and while two of them can still be found on my social media, we don’t talk. After a while I moved back to the States. While there, I found myself at odds with who I was. Who am I that I cannot make or sustain any friendships? I would begin to struggle even more to find and make friends. Again, I got married, but that would offer me no help in making friendships, her friends thought I was odd and weird also.

For many years I was in a marriage where my true self was hidden, and suppressed. I was subjugated into suppressing who I was. For 15 years I lived in the same area, and you’d think I would have had plenty of opportunities to make friendships, but sadly opportunity and successfulness don’t always go hand in hand. I wonder what it is about me that’s led me to struggle with friendships? JI have often found myself time and again watching people leave out of my life and never look back. All the while these people have often claimed how important I am to them, how important our friendship is, and how much they care about me. In the end, they walked away, and several without a single word or explanation why they felt the need to leave. While I am considered to be friendly and personable by most, there’s something about me that has led countless people to leave unexpectedly, with no obvious cause. I often care very deeply for the people in my life, and to watch them leave, hurts a great deal. I was recently told that I “chase friendships”. The statement isn’t wrong. I have gone days without hearing from anyone in my contacts. I have gone months sometimes longer without hearing from individuals. When I left my home last year, next to no one reached out to check on me, and many still haven’t. And to head off any nay-sayers, yes communication goes both ways. For a long time I would send 40-70 text messages a day to contacts. Often I would just say hello, how are you, trying to make conversation. More often then not, I wouldn’t get a single response within hours, days, and sometimes never. Eventually when I didn’t hear from anyone, I stopped sending those initial texts. The people that smiled at me, talked to me, even claimed we were friends, nearly over night, stopped talking to me when I wasn’t in the same building any longer. This is simply a problem that sets up the greater question, what is the cause? Is there something about me that people don’t like, or grow to not liking? During those fifteen years I did not make any lasting friendships, even at the job I spent six years. I made limited friendships over the years, and the vast majority have since left, many without a single word as to why. I once viewed this as such: I am the common denominator. It’s me that must be the problem. I felt this way with my failed marriages as well. Perhaps in some ways that’s true, and for a long time I was incredibly harsh with myself. However, I have now come to realize, if someone leaves without a word, that’s more on them, than myself. Just because someone leaves doesn’t mean I did anything wrong. I am reminded of a quote from my childhood hero, Captain Jean-Luke Picard, Captain of the USS Enterprise, NCC. 1701-D. He said this, “It is possible to commit no mistakes, and still lose… That is not a weakness, that is life.” (Star Trek: The Next Generation, ‘Peak Performance’) If I examine the loss of friends, it is possible they left, each with their own reason, that doesn’t mean I did anything wrong. 

The Arrow Preacher: a pseudonym I created that highlights both sides of myself. On the one side a nerd, a nerd of nerds, a lover of all thing’s superhero, science fiction, to fantasy. I love Star Trek, Star Wars, Marvel, DC, Crime Thrillers like Bones, and Castle. Military Dramas like Seal Team. The Matrix. The other side of me is my faith. I was told recently that I hide behind my faith. While it was said to me in anger, and meant as an insult, the truth is, I have done my best to let my faith be the shield in front of me. For someone to say in anger I hide behind my faith, only strengthens my growth in my walk with God. Years ago, I just started a podcast, a VLOG, and I was attempting to create something new. I wanted to stand apart from the world, I wanted to be different, because I am different. I began doing Christian content in my Green Arrow suit. I was told I shouldn’t do that. Someone I know and trusted encouraged me to stop filming in the suit. Even though I was hurt, and I disagreed with the reasoning, I obliged and stopped filming in the suit. It’s now been almost six years and I haven’t filmed a single video in the suit. A part of me died that day. I was being made to conform to the ordinary. Stifel my unusual individuality. I’m a nerd, a Christian, and I wear things like cloaks, a tunic, and a kilt. I wear Boston Scallys. I collect swords, and Lego, Batman figures, Star Wars items, and Star Trek ships. I take photos in the snow wearing a cloak and brandishing a sword. I have battle ready light sabers around the house, just in case the power ever goes out, or I need a blunt object for intruders, or just for fun. I have come to realize I am not everyone’s cup of tea. I’ve witnessed a lot of people leave my life without a single word as to why. Did they ever actually care about me, because from my point of view, and I’ve asked this many times over, “how could they leave, didn’t they care about me at all?” When I was a child, I was confronted with the same problem from my mother. See… Mom had some personal stuff, and she couldn’t be the mother she should have been. I have come to understand that I have abandonment issues. Even though I have deep rooted childhood trauma, and I fear abandonment, I don’t display the standard “insecure attachment style”. As a kid I experienced abandonment. I experienced being left alone physically, and also years of being alone emotionally. I often said, if mom loved me, she would change. If she loved me, how could she do that? I didn’t understand psychology the way I do today.  I hold on tight because I don’t want people to leave, but I am incredibly kind and understanding. I’m often willing to talk about all manner of things, but recently have discovered I rarely stood up for myself. I would allow people to talk down to me. I would allow people to step on me, and get everything they wanted from me. Married twice, I would often find myself hurt by something, and when I would bring it up, I would be the one apologizing for bringing it up. I was not allowed to feel hurt and moreover, I was not allowed to talk about it. People are flawed individuals. I am a flawed individual. What I am is a red blooded, emotion filled, Holy Spirit led Christian conservative. There are a great many people who don’t like that at all. 

It’s been a long road for me, and as I continue to deal with those who have recently left my life, I have to come to grips with the fact that I matter. My feelings matter. I have control over my own actions in life. While I am not willing to say I am perfect because scripture clearly tells us we are not, and I know my shortcomings, what I am willing to say is I have often done very little to deserve how I have been treated. I have had a history of allowing people into my life who only used me for my kindness, what I could offer them, or people who were nice, just to be nice. Only a few have held me as more than just a casual friend, and even then, many of those who did see me as a close friend, have also left my life. I have watched as people I love have used me, then discarded me once I no longer offered anything useful to them. This may sound melodramatic, but in reality, emotions aside, these are the facts. After my emancipation, and moving to a new city, having to make new friends, after leaving everything behind, I tried to latch onto people. I tried to make very deep friendships. Over the years I have found very few people that have had the same feelings towards me, then I do them. How do I manage this hurt in my life going forward? Seek Jesus, and know the truth, and the truth shall set you free. 

John 14:1-4 14 “Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. 2 In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. 3 If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also. 4 And you know the way where I am going.”

My heart has been greatly troubled. Broken, shattered, and the only way to heel is to seek and find biblical counsel. Find answers in scripture. Seek what God’s word says on the matter. 

John 14:18 18 “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” 

Jesus comforted his future Apostles. The terminology of being called and described as orphans enters into my very soul. While I am not an orphan, I know what it’s like to be left alone. In one sense I have a small taste of what it’s like to be an orphan. My Lord Jesus giving His disciples comfort, comforts me 2000 plus years later. I have been told I chase friendships, and in reality, what I need to be chasing is Christ. If people will continue to fail me, what I need is to appreciate those in my life, even if they are few, who stay. I need to focus on my family, and most importantly I need to focus on my relationship with the Lord. This doesn’t remove the hurt in my heart that exists, but it does send me back to scripture. I must also remember that when Jesus was headed to the cross, after being betrayed by Judas, leaving 11 of the Apostles, 10 of the 11 would run, hide, flee from those who put Jesus in binds. John was the only one at the foot of the cross watching his Lord be crucified for our sins. That being said however, when Jesus returns, he shows love, kindness, and most importantly forgiveness towards his Apostles, most notably Peter, who didn’t just run, but denied knowing Jesus. Jesus shows us the model of what we should be, and who we should be. 

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted

And saves those who are crushed in spirit.

I am crushed in spirit. I am brokenhearted. Losing someone recently, who was very close to me, and very influential in my life, has left me with a deep cut, a wound that has rattled me. While my foundation is solid in the Lord, I am 100 percent certain, because I have grown so close to the Lord I am better at withstanding the hurt and pain I feel. I am not sure how this will affect my life going forward, but in life we are creatures of the now. We cannot live in the past. We cannot know the future. All we can do is make one decision after another. We can only decide how to handle and manage each second of our lives. In those actions, we understand cause and effect. Our choices have consequences, and we must face those consequences both good and bad. We must do all these things to the Glory of God. We must make our choices based on what brings our Heavenly Father a smile upon his face. We are not saved by our works, but our works when done in the name of the Lord acquire treasure in heaven. That treasure is not for us, but for us to present to Jesus, our Lord and Savior. We all get hurt by people. What I need to ask myself, is if I’m going to allow someone so much influence over my life, that I give up who I am to please them, and try to get them to like me by hiding or changing who I am to get them to like me? Or, will I be myself? If someone likes me for who I am they will choose to want me in their life. I have to believe it is better to be myself, then to constantly try to please others by sacrificing myself to do it. I allowed the Arrow Preacher to die. I allowed my spirit to be crushed, and I allowed the happiness and joy I once had to bring both fun and education of Jesus to the world, to be suppressed to please others. Will I continue to hold back who I am, or will I rise above, rising like the phoenix from the ashes that was once my old self burned and buried? 

We should never allow anyone so much power over us to tell us who we are, or who we should be, sometimes people telling us who we aren’t. Does this mean we can live in sin? No, not at all. If we are living in sin, we should accept the words of those who only want to help save our souls that scripture supports. But if our ways, our methods are just different than the normal, we should follow the Spirit. People have expectations and sometimes think, we must conform to what is regular or normal. That even if someone’s personality is not regular or normal, they must somehow contort their being to fit what is commonly accepted as ordinary. I have been passed over for positions, I have had friends leave me, I have had loved one’s stifle who I was underneath, all because I was different, and through it all, I allowed it. I retreated into the darkness whimpering, too afraid to fight. I can have all the feelings in the world, but truthfully, if I allow someone to tell me who I have to be, I am denying the person God made me to be. I must remember and face one of the deepest truths of my current time, God made me who I am. He formed me in my mother’s womb. God saved me from death multiple times over the last 10 years, and in that, I have grown into a position where I am the most free I’ve ever been. Today I must continue to learn and grow to be who I feel the most comfortable being. Now, I have a choice in my life, what do I do with it? Batman once said, “It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.” Am I willing to stand out on that ledge and let my actions define me? Or am I going to hide the true me deep inside, and one day be forced to answer to God why I buried my talents deep into the ground. The Arrow Preacher, the man I became cannot hide any longer. “The Arrow Preacher, after 9 years battling in this life, I have returned with only one goal, to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ. To do this, I have been made into someone else, I became something else. I am the Arrow Preacher.” “The Arrow’s long-lasting symbolism in human society is so powerful, so beautiful, I cannot overlook something so important, so beautiful in my own life. “The arrow on a compass pointed north, symbolizing the direction of God, we must always keep our arrow in line, and we must always remember which way to go. Draw back your bow, take aim, and as you fly towards your next chapter in life, remember to let God be the one to set your glide path.” 

(The Arrow Preacher: Alsahm السهم -(The Arrow), https://thearrowpreacher.com/2017/08/13/alsahm-السهم-the-arrow/)

Continue to grow in the Lord. Continue to find peace with who you are. We cannot ever be comfortable living in sin, but being different, being a little strange or weird is not something to be ashamed of. Yes, I wear cloaks in public. Yes, I dress funny, or sometimes use movie quotes in normal conversation, or have an odd office space, full of collectables, and art of my favorite characters in fiction. All of my time being forced to ‘grow up’, having my childhood taken from me, and having very little has left me embracing the desire to do now, what I never could before, collect. In my youth I was forced to skip over important years of my life enjoying being a kid, through it all however, I never became bitter, angry, or hostile towards anyone. I kept my childhood ‘self’ alive, and I never allowed the world to kill him completely, even if that kid was buried deep down. Yes, for a time that little boy was suppressed and hidden, but after I met the right woman, and after I moved onto the path of serving the Lord daily, that person, started coming back. The Lord uses tragedy in our lives to push us. The Lord uses hurtful things to continue to forge us into something else. “We must learn to be more like the Sword of Griffandor. Be strong, be forged in the sanctification of our Lord Jesus Christ. Allow Him to shape our hearts, and our lives to look like Him. We cannot be forged like this though if we hold onto everything of the past.” (The Arrow Preacher, The Forging Of My Soul. https://thearrowpreacher.com/2025/04/10/the-forging-of-my-soul/)  Like the Sword of Griffandor we must only take in that which makes us better. We must face this world daily and not give in to the Devils desire to break you, or to separate you from God. The Devil desires you to abandon your quest, the path the Lord has set you on, and in many cases, getting a believer to turn their backs on God altogether. “We must learn to Love all, to remember not to allow ourselves to be burned by the fire, instead allow it to burn away anything and everything that isn’t used to live a Godly life. While fire can burn away a life, it can create wonderful pieces of art. A sword for instance is a beautiful creation, a hand-crafted piece of steal that is forged in fire. A sword can break under great pressure, or can withstand the persistent blows it may endure to be used in protecting ones self.” (The Arrow Preacher, Forging Steel. https://thearrowpreacher.com/2017/08/11/forging-steel/)

While I was serving as a chaperone to the youth in my church, there were three young ladies who were quite obviously different. You could see their nature in the clothing they wore. Every week they wore clothes that were not of the normal. Sometimes it was old fashioned colonial style clothes, or even a hint of gothic mid-evil style. Sometimes it was a hint of steampunk, but no matter what it was, it was not clothes from Walmart. They wore these clothes every week, and didn’t care what anyone thought of them. They wore them because it was who they were. They weren’t trying to wear them for attention, perhaps quite the opposite. They wore them because they liked them. I admired those young ladies, and it often led me to wear what I liked as well, even though what I wore was very different. All this to be said, my journey is far from over. My path is one of continued service to my Lord Jesus. I will no longer answer to anyone else about how I choose to serve my Lord. I don’t care about the views or attention, but I will do everything I can to reach the unreached. I will continue my journey to reach the nerds, to reach the cosplayers, to reach veterans. I will allow the old me to return, so I can put on my true face. I no longer want to hide who I am. I don’t want to live that lie anymore. Who I am is not a sin, I’m just different. So, ashes to ashes, we all fall down, but I will rise again, a phoenix from the fire, different than what I was before, stronger, and more confident. Back to the path, back to the mission I was set on so many years ago. Today, I am still meeting new people, and some of them while new, haven’t run for the hills as I’m more open about who I am. Today, I know who I am. I am a child of God, I am created and loved by God, I am a soldier for Christ. We must be pulled back, before we can be let lose to fly, be an arrow for Christ, fly, fly towards the target the Lord has given you. Never quit, never surrender. Go in peace, go in love, go in courage, go with the strength of God behind you. 

“Live Long and Prosper”

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Free Your Mind 

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Free Your Mind 

I can remember the day, September 11th 2006, one week before I put a 9mm hallow-point through my shoulder. I had just learned about my wife’s affair, and I was a devastated mess. My mind raced, and I was far from free. My mind was becoming a prison, one that would take a long time to be free from. It took years for me to be able to sit in a quiet car without worrying about my mind racing, full of negative thoughts. The day you surrender your life to Christ isn’t a magic wand that makes everything else fade away. Just because you give your life to Christ, the healing process of past hurts, still takes time. For me, the day I gave my life to Christ, was the most freeing moment of my life. I grew up in the Catholic Church, and knew Jesus, and assumed I had a relationship with Him because I had gone to church growing up. I assumed because I had gone through the sacraments, first communion, baptism, confirmation, confession, that I would be allowed into Heaven. It was not till I was older that I realized, the demons know Jesus also. Knowing Jesus does not mean you have a relationship with Him. Even scripture tells us this, 

Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.’

— Matthew 7:22-23

There are those who follow Jesus because they believe it will make their life better, such as the prosperity gospel. Jesus wants you to live your best life now. If you follow Jesus because you believe, He will grant you the desires of your wicked, selfish heart, then you may be a believer of the prosperity gospel, but that is not the gospel of scripture. I realized later in my life that it wasn’t about what Jesus could do for me in this life. Jesus already did the most important thing in my life, one, sacrificed Himself for me, and the second changed my heart from a heart of stone, to flesh. I’ve found many people follow Christ not because they truly believe in His teachings, but rather the fire insurance. In reality to be a follower of Jesus, we must seek Jesus, and the gift of Heaven is secondary, an added bonus if you will. Many want the gift of Heaven; they just don’t want God to be there. It’s the surrender part that really gets most people, and stops them from being a true follower of Christ. People enjoy the savior part, but are put off by the Lord part. We cannot have salvation without both. We cannot have Heaven without God. We, as a fallen sinful race, have trouble letting go. We want to be plugged into the system of this world, because we love it. We love the freedom to sin, to do whatever we want. We love the pleasures of this world, the money, wealth, and power we may get to have here in this life. Sadly, as a whole, people tend to think this life is all about the money, and stuff, power, prestige, etc. When we follow Jesus, we have to give up much of our old lives, and we have to obey His commands, because if we love Jesus, then we are to love His commands as well. Jesus tells us in Luke 9:23-25 “And He was saying to them all, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it. For what is a man profited if he gains the whole world, and loses or forfeits himself?”

To live for Christ is to die to one’s self. to live for Christ is to sacrifice one’s life to serve Christ. It isn’t about being saved; it’s about following Christ because He is the truth. We don’t follow Christ because of what we benefit, we follow Christ because His words are true, and the eyewitness testimony of His life and resurrection are the truth. His miracles which were never refuted by anyone, not the Jews, or the Romans, were done by the only Son of God. How could we not follow him? 

In reality, the thing we must do is surrender ourselves to the Lord. The day I surrendered to the Lord I realized my way was folly. I think of what Boromir said in the Fellowship of the Ring, “it is folly.” Boromir discusses the trouble of taking the one ring to Mordor. Not with an army, could it be done. He made a decision based on his understanding of the world as a soldier. Unable to see the world in a different perspective, he truly believed it couldn’t be done. We are very similar as a people. To follow Jesus is just folly to the atheist. The people of the world, reject Christ, because in reality, they want to be their own god. The sin that snared Eve in the Garden, was pride. The snake said “You’d be like God’. Eve jumped at the opportunity to be like God, and we sinful creatures jump at the opportunity to be hostile to the one true God. No other religion in the world is treated with such hostility as Christianity. I myself am not a follower of Christ because I was raised too, or even because of culture, I am a believer because it’s the truth. When you follow the evidence to its logical conclusion, Christianity is the truth. To get there though, one must free their mind, let go of what the world tells them to think and believe. Christ showed us the truth through His signs and wonders. He showed us the truth in His eye witnesses. As J. Wallace talks about in His book “Cold Case Christianity” one piece of evidence may be circumstantial, but when you begin to add up all the evidence, it’s impossible to be a coincidence anymore. I had to let go of wanting to do this life on my own. I had to realize the phrase “I got this” was not true at all. In fact, the ideal that I had it, got me to the dangerous side of the long-distance whole puncher. When I look at today’s life, I realized I, in fact, don’t got it. My way often led me to more trouble. When I try to fix anything on my own accord, I tend to screw everything up. Our way is not Holy, and when we do it our way, we, in our hubris, think we are just as good as God. We must reject ourselves and follow Christ, and we must reject the world, and follow Christ. 

In this life, we have a choice, to answer the call of the Holy Spirit upon our hearts. Do we unplug from the world, forsaking this life, to allow God, allowing Jesus to take up our life? If Christianity is not true, we lose nothing in this life. If it is true, and we do not follow it, we lose everything. Jesus is the WAY, the TRUTH, and THE LIFE, NO ONE GETS TO THE FATHER BUT THROUGH JESUS. Jesus gave us all the evidence we’d ever need to justify what scripture said, that we may look upon the cross and believe, that we have hope by looking at the empty tomb. Let us let go of the world, for those who let go of the world, shall inherit the kingdom of God. For it is our faith in Jesus, and we are saved by His grace, and His mercy. The truth will set us free. The truth will unplug us from the world, and we are adopted as citizens of Heaven, and we become ambassadors in this world. We have a mission to set more minds free, and share the gospel with everyone. We are to study to show ourselves approved. We are to understand and share the Word of God, with those around us. We are to make disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ. We must help unplug more and more people from the world, share with them the truth, and show them the way. 

Years later, I was driving in the car and I realized I had not turned on the radio. I realized I had not turned-on music from my phone. I realized I was sitting in absolute silence. I no longer had the intrusive thoughts I once had. I realized, in that moment, years of studying God’s word, going to church, and different therapies to help with the past trauma, led me to a point where I saw healing in my life. The day you give your life to Christ and become unplugged is the day you start a new journey. Just like Neo in the ‘Matrix’, he didn’t know everything about the Matrix, that took time for him to learn, to grow. Our day of Justification (Just as if I never sinned) happens one time. But, the growing in the Lord, the becoming more like Christ, takes time, a lifetime in fact. We never stop growing, and never reach our full potential till the day we breathe our last here on Earth, and open our eyes in Heaven. Just because we are followers of Christ doesn’t mean we don’t struggle, or have trials. On the contrary, we will have trials, and we will struggle, and we will be forged in fire. We must see through the eyes of Christ and see the world for what it is, the devils playground. We must face the ever-growing threat of darkness all around us, and prepare for the battle that looms ahead. Now we’re unplugged from the world, we face an army of sentinels, and agents, demons, and humans still plugged in to the system Satan has control over. Our job, is to continue to grow in our strength for the Lord, study to show ourselves approved, put scripture in our hearts to not sin against God, but to also resist the lies of the world. Let us face the army of Satan together, as brothers and sisters of Christ. Let us be the resistance, as we resist the attacks, the army that wages war against us. The truth, Jesus Christ, will set you free. 

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Fear

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Fear is not something I’ve experienced much of in my later life. Today, I am afraid. As my life is about to change forever, fear fills my heart. It isn’t that I don’t have faith, or not enough faith, as a friends message pointed out so eloquently recently, but I am mostly human. That’s a cyborg joke since I now have a mechanical upgrade keeping my heart pacing. I have faced death and been shot at, blown up, jumped out of airplanes, and have moved across the world many times. My life, has not been an easy road, but my life longs for peace, and I’ve not had it since heart surgery. It’s amazing how much heart surgery forces us to face our mortality. It’s amazing to think that just a couple months ago, I nearly died. Our hearts are so tender at a funeral. The emotions right at the surface, like a live wire to be plucked by life. In a way, while no one has died recently in my life, death is not just the living body. I have in other ways, experienced loss, and grief. My dearly beloved cat has passed. My body has experienced a grave trauma. I am about to move to a new home after eight years. I feel as if I am not going to find peace any time soon in my life. In fact, simultaneously peace and not peace. While life is beyond stressful, and my plate is full, life is not of peace, but my heart knows the Lord. The Lord grants peace, we know this from scripture. We aren’t robots, or at least I’m not all robot. 

Paul is offering the Lords peace be upon the readers of his letter. 

Now may the Lord of peace Himself continually grant you peace in every circumstance. The Lord be with you all!

— 2 Thessalonians 3:16

John notes the words of Jesus. 

Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.

— John 14:27

Our peace is found in the Lord. We face the worlds struggles, and while we do these things as faithful Christians, we know many faithful struggled. 

But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree; and he requested for himself that he might die, and said, “It is enough; now, O LORD, take my life, for I am not better than my fathers.”

— 1 Kings 19:4

Elijah suffered long, David suffered, Peter suffered, and many, many more. The Christ’s church cannot be stopped by the gates of Hell. More important than any others, Jesus suffered for us. 

After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.

— 1 Peter 5:10

What is life but a vapor? A short while we are here, and in this life, Jesus promised hard times, but also promised that in those times, we would not be tempted more than any other person, 

No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

— 1 Corinthians 10:13

Jesus is our way, Jesus is the way. Jesus shows us the escape. When we are suffering, and when we are struggling, Jesus is our God, who saves us, who removes our ledge of crimson, and makes it white as snow. May we repent of our sins, and Jesus makes straight our path. No one said the path would be easy, but we must ask if we are doing as He commands us. I am but a mere human, struggling to walk the path. I read, I study, I listen, and yet lo, I struggle.

For the choir director. A Psalm of David.

How long, O LORD? Will You forget me forever?

How long will You hide Your face from me?

How long shall I take counsel in my soul,

Having sorrow in my heart all the day?

How long will my enemy be exalted over me?

Consider and answer me, O LORD my God;

Enlighten my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death,

— Psalm 13:1-3

Jesus comforts us and is near to the broken hearted. Am I broken hearted? Yes. Do I struggle? Yes. My brokenness runs deep right now. In my prayers I ask God to grant me His peace. I ask God grants me serenity to let go of what I need to let go of, fix what i can fix, and in all ways accept God’s path, that I will not lean upon my own understanding. My heart breaks apart this day, but one day, it shall be made new and I shall see God. 

Having fear is human. When the Word says I have not given you a spirit of fear, but a spirit of courage, we really have to continue to grow. Sanctification is a process. We have to spend time in the word to grow in the spirit of Christ. I have spent years dealing with this topic. When I was in Iraq I was forced to face fear. After you face evil directly, fear is something that starts to fade. When I began growing in the Lord, my fear of death disappeared. When I consider fear, I consider that most if not all fears generally when you travel down the road of that fear, it ends with a fear of one’s own mortality. Once you can eliminate your fear of dying, many other fears will disappear. That being said, there are some fears, such as the fear of failure, fear of change, that must also be concurred. As I am faced with some of these fears, I am not accustomed to feeling fear. When I was facing heart surgery, I did not have a fear of dying, but rather, more concerned about what the surgery would do to my loved ones. While I do not have the same fear that many people do, my loved ones have a great fear of dying, and a fear of losing me. It’s this fear, that I have been cognoscente of. How can I, the man of the house, lift up those who remain in their fear? When I am afraid of the upcoming change in my life, that I will fail, and fall into hard times? I don’t have an answer, except to continue to grow in your walk with Christ. We must face our fears, and we do that by reading the Word of God. We study, we grow, we allow the word to change who we are. We must be ready to defend our faith, and we cannot do that if we are not growing in Christ. For some, maybe you haven’t accepted Christ yet. First, acknowledge you are a sinner. We are dead in our sins, not worthy of Heaven. We must see ourselves as sinners, and know that Jesus is the savior for our sins. He handed himself over, and laid down his life to reconcile the repentant sinner to God the Father. We must surrender to Christ, and know He is both Savior, and Lord. We must accept Him as our sacrifice for sins, and therefore, we must trust in faith, and obey His commandments. There is no sin so great that God cannot forgive. We do however need to feel that sorrow over sin, and truly repent of our sins. Jesus is worth your heart. Let us continue to grow in Him. 

May God grant me peace, and understanding, and love. God shows me His way. I pray for mercies as I navigate these troubled waters. May I step out of the boat, and trust in Him.

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Please follow also, my friend’s blog.

https://peacenotfear.wordpress.com

Faith

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Faith

I’ve talked about faith a lot on this website. Faith is something we each have, even if we don’t realize it. Those who talk against the Christian walk, in support of the sciences have faith. Those who claim to be atheists have faith. Those who claim to be agnostic have faith. Faith is the believing in something without all the proof. Merriam Webster says this “belief and trust in and loyalty to God”, “firm belief in something for which there is no proof”, “Complete Trust”, 
 “something that is believed especially with strong conviction”. You see, faith, is had by everyone, it’s simply a matter of defining what they believe. 

Many believe a Christians faith is misplaced, or it’s based on poor evidence. Sadly, this assertion is simply far from the truth. It’s been said that the faith needed for the big bang, or evolution is far greater than that of the Christian walk. There is less evidence for those things, than there is of the Christian faith. Even the other religions pale in comparison to evidence, and some have little to no evidence at all. I will not be getting into each of these things and why they lack evidence, but I encourage you to do some deep dives. For Christians, there are a few people who’ve done extraordinary work on this and I will be talking about some of them. 

The Bible expresses faith is this, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the [Evidence]conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

We do not walk blindly into the night, or at least many of us don’t. When I say us, I mean those who do this for a living. Those who study the faith, study scripture, and preach it and teach it regularly, have usually done deep dives into the, testing the integrity of the Bible, the dependability of the scriptures, the trustworthiness of the eyewitnesses that spoke on Christ. These things lend to our faith being strengthened, and in many cases fortified in its indwelled truth of what is written in God’s word. Simply put, the Bible is reliable, and has stood up to scrutinizing people for centuries, in fact, for a little over 2000 years now. 

My personal faith: Growing up in the Catholic church, I felt a strong connection to church. I didn’t have some of the usual catholic ideals pushed on me, so it wan’t till older in life I heard of such things. I did not hardly ever touch my rosary. I very seldom heard the ‘Hail Mary’. I did however do the other sacraments, of confession, confirmation, and first communion. One other thing I heard growing up was praying to the saints for intercession of our needs. When I got older, I became confused. The Bible says this, Romans 8:34 34 “who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us.” And in 1 John 2:1 “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous;” and in Hebrews 7:25 25 “Therefore He is able also to save forever those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them.” 

I didn’t understand, so, was I supposed to pray to the saints? Was I supposed to pray to Mary? The more I studied my Bible, the more I became convicted, some of the things I thought were right, didn’t seem right anymore. As I got back into church, the first church was an Episcopal church, where women were priests. This raised another slew of questions for me. I had often wondered if the Catholic church was correct forcing celibacy on priests, but this was something entirely different. This, allowing women to preach, was this in scripture? Scripture says this 1 Timothy 2:12 “But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet.” It seems women were not supposed to be priests, or for that matter preach the word to a room of men. The caveat of course is we know Pricilla helped in the teaching of a prominent teacher (Apollos). This shows us that woman can teach kids, and even help evangelize for Christ. But not to have a role preaching from the pulpit. 

As I got older and continued to grow, a few men came into my life that helped me study scripture. They did not just give me their opinion; in fact, it was quite the opposite. “The opinions of man are smashed on the anvil of the Word of God” Charles Spurgeon. What was taught was pure scripture. As I grew in understanding, my faith also grew. The more into the word I got, the greater and stronger my faith became. I began to see where my old opinions began to die, along with my old assertions to what was true. The more into scripture I got, the more the idea that I grew up sorely lacking crept into my life. IF that Catholics had it wrong, what was right? The answer was actually pretty simple. Ephesians 2:8-9 “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; 9 not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.” For I, me, the Arrow Preacher, is saved by grace, through faith. Like the serpent held high by Moses to allow the Israelites to be saved, they must look upon it and have faith. We must look up to our Christ Jesus on the cross and have faith of who He was, and what He died for. Our messiah, Our Lord. It was in that moment I realized there was a doctrine that lined up with scripture, and as I was taught, this doctrine would become the hill I’d be willing to die on. This doctrine is called “The Five Solas”: 

Sola Gratia – Grace Alone

Sola Fide – Faith Alone 

Solus Christus – Christ Alone 

Soli Deo Gloria – Glory of God Alone

Sola Scriptura – Scripture Alone

Made easy, we are saved by Grace, in Faith, through Christ, for the Glory of God, and our only source of knowledge and truth is in scripture. For more on this you can read here at Ligonier Ministries. 

https://learn.ligonier.org/articles/what-are-the-five-solas

My faith grew because I was learning from the Bible alone, and because I was reading God’s truth, I began to see many of the doctrines I was taught growing up had actually led me astray. But my faith having been put to the test in 2016 came out stronger, and continued to grow in strength. 

In 2016, a couple days after I discovered my ex-wife was having an affair, I was sitting in church alone. I was sitting in a spot I never sat before, I was sitting in the pew a broken man. My everything was shattered. I heard the preacher talk, and the Holy Spirit rested over me, convicting me of my brokenness. Showing me that I had but one thing to do. The question came into my mind, “What if I gave everything, what if I gave you everything, what if I stopped holding back everything from you?” I walked the isle that day, tears flowing from my face before I got to the pastor. I was ready to surrender and give it all to Jesus. I was ready to lay my shame out there and walk out of that sanctuary a new man. That broken man, broke down upon the alter, tears flowing uncontrollably from his face. Crying out to the Lord to take over, to change him. He didn’t want to be that many anymore. A week later I had a brush with death. My wife was leaving, taking with her half of everything. She was taking with her 100% of our family. In my loss, and added a little liquid death (alcohol), I sat on the front porch and watched her and her sister pack the car. In my despair I put a pistol to my shoulder and pulled the trigger. I was experiencing a major break in the internal walls I had built to hold all my traumas. Everything passed by my internal eye like movie clips, showing me each of my traumas and failures. I was experiencing a tsunami effect, years of compartmentalization coming back to haunt me. I couldn’t take the failure in my brain, and the pain I felt, needed to be matched with an equal amount of physical pain. I was not looking to die, but to feel, to stop the emotional pain, to reset the onboard computer. I thought my fate was sealed, and that pistol sat upon my shoulder for just a few seconds before I pulled the trigger. What I saw that day stays in my mind, vividly. The blood splatter, the screams, the oxygen leaving my body, and in less than a few moments, nothing. The world was black, it was a void, nothing above me, or below me, nothing I could see, and no light but just a bit from myself. In my fear, in my despair, I cried out to God, “God, I’m sorry.” I expected nothing. I looked for nothing. I expected to die and this was the end of my life, a void of nothing. But that’s when I heard it. A voice came from the darkness shaking the very bones of my body. “You’re forgiven” was all the words said. It felt like being inside a lightning bolt. How much the ground shakes when a bolt is close, was nothing in compare to what I felt. My whole-body shook, as what felt like a lightning bolt hit me. I awoke in the ambulance surprising the paramedics, who believed I’d die before reaching the hospital. The pain my body was in, I wanted to return to what I knew was God. But, much like the words of Gandalf in “Two Towers” “I’ve been sent back, at the turn of the tide.” Why had God sent me back and not just taken me home? 

While I was justified that Sunday September 11th, 2016, my sanctification process would come in a very real metaphorical dumpster fire. I would have to rely on my faith and what little scripture I knew to start getting me through the next 10 months. The divorce and separation were messy to say the least. My faith however was growing in the Lord. It was not a blind faith, but one built upon the Lord’s truth. The Apostles would die, die horrible deaths fueled by hatred and torture, they died never once recanting their eyewitness accounts. Who dies for a lie? People die all the time for a lie, but not one they know for sure is a lie. Jesus could not be a good man, if He wasn’t who He said He was. If He lied, He’d not be a good man, because good men don’t lie. When we see the Apostles were all in hiding at His crucifixion, why the sudden change? Why did they go from petrified cowards, to be willing to get put into jail over and over again, and even horrible deaths. What did they see? They saw the very real risen Christ. Why did Jesus have 12 Apostils? Representing the 12 tribes from the Old Testament. Jesus chose men, no one would choose to change the world. Their eye witness counts would stand the scrutiny of those who truly study it. Men like J. Werner Wallace, Lee Strobel, and Josh McDowell, Sean H. McDowell, have given us the work, the unbiased, or rather, atheist bias, of the scriptures, and the truth of the scriptures turned Wallace, and Strobel into believers. From atheist to believer in the process of disputing and attempt to disprove the scriptures, yet, now, they believe Jesus was who He said He was. 

Myself, I grew up believing parts of the Bible but not all of it. I very much believed in Theistic evolution (also known as theistic evolutionism or God-guided evolution), alternatively called evolutionary creationism, is a view that God acts and creates through laws of nature. I tried to mix the science I grew up with, and the faith I had. This was folly however, as I would come to believe, I had been wrong my whole life. Through my studies with my mentors, and even the Christian University I attended, I found, I was wrong. I truly had been broken down to the bedrock, and rebuilt in Christ. I did not know why Jesus saved me that day, but it wasn’t an easy road. Truly, I laid all my hopes on the table and all my sins were forgiven. I had been washed by the blood, and Jesus saw to rebuild me. My faith in Jesus that September 11th would change my life forever. The day I put that 9mm through my shoulder, I would truly be reborn, because the life I was living had been touched by the hand of God. In my investigation, I found I was never shocked by the paddles, so the electricity I felt, could not have been the defibrillator, but the hand of God. God saw fit, to drastically and dramatically alter my life. 

Over the next year God would put me where He wanted me. I’d have emergency neck surgery and God would bring me through that as well. I’d go through (WWP) Project Odyssey, which began to help with the trauma I had experienced in my life. I’d go through DBT (Dialectical behavior therapy), which is a structured therapy that helps people learn to manage their emotions and change their behaviors. I’d go to another (WWP) Wounded Warrior Project, a Soldier Ride, in which I met a man that changed my path. He expressed his opinion, my path was that of ministry. I laughed at him. I was to broken, too lost in my life to get into ministry. My faith, was tainted by my own self-doubts, my own self-loathing, that hadn’t been purged from me completely yet. I’d later experience a weekend with God, in a program called Lamplighter, and that was the last major even that would change my course, to, you guessed it, ministry. My faith, which was being shown, my life was meant to trust in God, not just during the good times, the easy times, but the hardest of times. My faith was being forged in the trials of life. My walk with God was being shaped through many hardships, and my faith was growing in strength. 

Since then, I have experienced many hardships in my life. I’ve experienced loss, and heartbreak. I recently had yet another brush with death, but many consecutive miracles. For those I would like to have you read 

The Week My Heart Stopped

and 

One Month Later 

These posts highlight what I went through. They highlight the events I believe to be miracles in my life. This doesn’t mean I don’t struggle. What it does mean, is the path of a Christian is not an easy one. I have grappled with tough things, just in the last couple months. I was not convinced having open heart surgery, or even the pacemaker surgery, was the right decision. It would have been easy for me to say I was ready to go home. It would have been easy for me to give up this life, but I needed to lean upon my faith to justify staying here longer. I highlight this fight in the blog post, 

Why Do You Keep Fighting? 

In reality, I fight for those I care about. I fight to continue spreading the Gospel of Christ to as many people as I can. My faith, while strong, doesn’t mean I haven’t questioned my choices. It doesn’t mean I haven’t spoken to God about this, but in the end, I am still here, and I’m still leaning upon that faith, not of my own understanding. I don’t exactly know why God saved me, so all I have is my faith. I trust in the Lord, and I expect He will guide my path. He will walk with me, and if He chooses to reveal any details about why I’m still here, I’m sure He will. When I doubt, I know it’s the liar, the deceiver, whispering in my ear. I recognize his vial speech within my deep thoughts of denial, and strife. The power that raised Jesus is the same power that lives within me. The same faith that made David step out onto that battle field with a few smooth stones, the same faith that Gideon had when he fought the Midianites. The same faith Daniel had to pray openly, and face the lions. The same faith Peter felt when he stepped out of the boat in the storm. The same faith that Paul had that led him through various trials, but most important was the first choice to go from hunting Christians to being one of them. This is the faith that rests within me. 

I am not a perfect man, and my faith isn’t perfect. I am not a finished product, and in my weakness He is strong. I do however sin, and I must repent of those sins. I need to seek forgiveness when I do sin, and believe the blood of Christ will wash me clean. I do not mean to sin, my faith does not give me a free license to sin, but when I do, I know Jesus picks me up, puts me back together. See…. The truth is, when I am shattered, and I’m broken, and I know I have wronged a Holy God; when I am hurting, I do not want to be put back together the same. I want God to change me through these experiences. When I go through these things, I have faith that God is using it to bring me closer to Himself. I want my life to be sanctified in Christ, and therefore I do not want be the same today as I was yesterday. I pray to God that my yesterday is gone, and today is a new opportunity for me to get closer to Him. My faith has never come back empty. While I don’t always get what I want, I get from God exactly what I need. Faith in Christ is not a blind faith, and we see in scripture the truth, that this life will not be easy for a Christian. It is not meant for wealth, and fame, and peaceful living. The truth is, we are soldiers on the battlefield for Christ, and our faith is, we know we are fighting for good. Everything we experiences forges us into a stronger soldier. We can resist Satan because we have faith and trust in the one true King, Jesus Christ. Jesus gives us all we need, and in our faith in Him, we can rejoice when we are beaten, rejoice when we reach the mountain top, and rejoice when we are laid by the peaceful streams. Our faith tells us that the battle is won, and we can trust in Christ in all we do. My faith tells me that one day I will be called home, but till that day comes, my faith will remain true.

Let us not put our faith in the wrong places. Let us be careful and cautious with whom and what we place our faith. Let us not put faith in our heart, for it is deceitfully wicked. Let us not put our faith in idols, or even people. Let us test everything, and ensure it comes from the Lord. Have faith in Jesus. Let us go, and make disciples, showing them why our faith is true. Let our faith guide us to dig deep in scripture, learning, growing, and let our faith teach us how to fight for the truth. Let us understand apologetics (the defense of our faith), and be able to know scripture, to withstand the external scrutiny. Not everything you read on the internet is true. Not everything on Instagram or TikTok is true and accurate, and it’s yours and my job as a Christian to decern the truth. The only truth that matters is what’s in scripture. Hold fast to your faith, and don’t let the world deceive you. Go in the peace and love of Jesus Christ. 

For more content on faith you can read: 

Where is YOUR Faith?
Making the Leap of Faith
Build Your Faith on a Solid Foundation
Build Faithful Wealth
Leap of Faith
Simple Faith

For more content you can follow on YouTube: 

https://youtube.com/@thearrowpreacher6920?si=wvVC80iHWsSSkRY1

Currently going through the Gospel of John. 

The Longest Road 

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The Longest Road 

Sometimes God sets us on a path where we walk alone. Not alone in the sense God is not with us, but in a sense where the word friend seems far away, and acquaintance is a stretch. In today’s world where we can facetime, call, text, message, or email, the idea of communication seems foreign. When was the last time friends got together for dinner or lunch? When was the last time you checked on a friend? It seems as time ticks by, the inevitable fall off occurs. I remember a song many years ago, called Friends by John Michael Montgomery. 

Friends

Get scattered by the wind

Tossed upon the waves

Lost for years on end

Friends

Slowly drift apart

They give away their hearts

Maybe call you

Now and Then

But you wanna be

Just friends

The truth is, this isn’t just something that happens to ex-couples, but friends in general. I’m curious though, what about in scripture? 2 Timothy 4:16 16 “At my first defense no one supported me, but all deserted me; may it not be counted against them.” Paul here is gracious to not place blame, or even hold a grudge. It’s sad really that he would be left for his defense alone. At some point, we all are. In 2016 when I put that bullet through my shoulder, I felt alone. The truth was, I had people I could have called, but didn’t feel they’d be of much help. I was in crisis and obviously wasn’t thinking straight anyway. Today, while I am not in crisis, I do find myself feeling more and more alone as the weeks go by. Who do I turn to when I feel like I’m fighting these demons daily. Who do I have to help me bare my burdens. The one solace I have is knowing Christs words he spoke to the Apostles are just as relevant for me as they were them. “Lo, I am with you always, even till the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20B. I will admit, while I have grown in my faith, my understanding of scripture, and my trust in God, it’s still hard sometimes seeing Him in my life. In recent months, even when I know God was at work, there has been so much hardship. Sadly, between the hardships, and the mysterious disappearance of those whom I used to have to talk to in my life, I have looked to find empty chairs. I have often heard you should have that one friend you can call at two in the morning and they’d be there no questions asked. Perhaps I just don’t see it, but I don’t believe I have that person. 

As I have felt the deepening loneliness since I found out about my father was no longer alive, and the failure of life I feel crushing down upon me. He’s dead and he died without ever knowing me. He died the same year I joined the military. His family knows nothing of me, minus the two people distantly related to him. Even they don’t speak to me. I am left to navigate my feelings, which I have safely locked away in a closet so I don’t have to deal with them right now. With everything going on with my surgery, and complications after it, and the tent having major issues, and not being able to afford to get my own place to live, I feel so many awful, negative emotions, that I struggle to breathe. Recently after having a hard day, I ended up having a panic attack. It had been years since I had one, which of course compounded the negative feelings I was already having about myself. The struggle is very real, and while I know this is all spiritual warfare, the feelings I have are very much real. The question I suppose is the most relevant, is what do I do about it? 

Count it all joy, is what James wrote, James 1:2. Sometimes it’s hard to count all trials as joy. When the isolation is very real and the silence is loud, it’s hard to sit down and watch the days tick by, as if I am spending a life sentence in isolated prison. When the only communication you get these days is from people looking for something. How can I be the person people turn to for money? How is it, I am the one with the bleeding heart to help others, when I can’t even help myself? I have been to the darkest of places and back and I know that even though this life is bleak, God is with me. People will fail you, as they have failed me, but the poor reflection of Christ in this world, is not a representation of how good God is. Satan has found a way to isolate me from others, outside of my efforts, and I know that while I do feel the loneliness, and I do see it in the reality that is my life, I stand here strong in my faith, and resolute in my convictions. I see this isolation as a victory over the deceiver as I realize this is his feeble attempt to break my spirits. The more I preach and teach about God, the more I try to interrupt his business, the more he will lash out at me and my family. I’ve stood in absolute darkness alone at the end of my life, and God saw it fit to pull me back from death, and give me a new path. God breathed life back into my broken body, and spared me for a purpose. While I do not know what that may be, I know that I will continue to serve Him, a righteous and Holy God, because He is the only one worthy of praise and worship. Do I feel alone on this road? Sure I do. My phone barely rings, and when it does, it’s mostly people seeking something I don’t have. 

When did we become a society where friendship no longer holds any meaning? When did we become a society where we forsake one another and turn to cliché’d excuses. Most of those excuses are “I’ve been so busy”, “I forgot”, “I haven’t seen my messages”. These excuses on the surface seem innocent enough, but in reality, they become the go-to message to lighten the blow of apathy, or negligence. Most people today fall within the two categories. We as a society have become apathetic to the needs of others, or we simply have become neglectful of them. The third option is people just don’t care anymore. Either way you put it, we have become bad at lifting up one another. We’ve become intentionally ignorant so that we would not be drug down by the struggles of others. In my own life I have heard “I just don’t want to be around negativity.” I heard this while I was struggling through an affair my ex-wife had, and I was losing my home, and had major neck surgery all at the same time. Their excuse was that I was being negative. To me, that would be like if Job’s friends stepped out because of what he was going through. Sometimes negative things happen, and people just need support while dealing with it. The truth is today, we as a people, and sadly even as the church, would rather stay out of it, we would rather look the other way, than to stand with someone in their struggles. 

Sometimes things happen, and people do leave, for whatever reason. No matter the reason, assuming you’re not the actual cause for it, if you find yourself alone, remember that God is with you, and you do not walk alone. God has sent many angels to be with you, and to help you through. You may not see them, but they are there. God has used angels since the dawn of people, to help them, to minister to them, to reprove them when necessary. God also sends the Holy Spirt to be with you, to dwell inside your heart. You are not alone and while you may not have anyone to talk to in the way of a person, you can always talk to God. We have a misunderstanding today of what prayer is. Praying doesn’t always look like the Lords Prayer

Matthew 6:9-13

9 “Pray, then, in this way:

‘Our Father who is in heaven,

Hallowed be Your name.

10 ‘Your kingdom come.

Your will be done,

On earth as it is in heaven.

11 ‘Give us this day [a]our daily bread.

12 ‘And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

13 ‘And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from [b]evil. [For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.’]

While this is only a template for your prayers, this is simply giving you an outline for your prayers. We can talk to God like we’re talking to anyone else. We can let God know what’s bothering us, what we hope for, what we’re thankful for. Walking alone is like the footprint’s poem. Just because you can’t see God’s footprints doesn’t mean He isn’t with you. We must take a moment and think about this. The sovereign of the universe is right there with you. You cannot see him, but he’s there. God takes time to be with you, to listen to you, to comfort you, and sometimes He sends help from the most unusual ways. Let us hear God, and know that sometimes we do walk the road alone, and no one is with us, but when no one’s with us, that gives us the perfect time to talk to the Lord over all. It’s hard living life without other people in it, but God is never far away. 

Be with God, and let God be with you. Rejoice in your blessings, and count them one by one. Sing praises to the Lord even for things we may perceive as bad. We really don’t know good or bad, but God knows. Love God, and love yourself. God made you beautiful and in his own image. He pieced you together in your mothers womb for a purpose. Live your life because it does have meaning, even when you endure hardships. Go in peace and in love. Life is but a journey home, embrace the journey. 

To follow more, join me at youtube on the Arrow Preacher channel. 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV3r024gS2FRDIbpqnsDwWA