5.56

5.56

 5.56 is the size of the bullet used in both the AR-15 semi automatic rifle and the M-16, M4, military service rifle. A rifle that is semi automatic with single shot capability is not an assault weapon, it’s merely a rifle. The Assault weapon is defined by more then a single bullet per squeeze of the trigger. Full Auto weapons are not easily purchased and it takes a special federal stamp to do so. Though not incredibly difficult to do, it is impossible without the machinery and know how, the alteration when done with this particular weapon can shoot full auto, it can also hold up to a 100 round drum. The 5.56 is currently known to be the most popular rifle in America and leading rifle in home defense, though not considered to be a very good hunting rile. Sadly this is also the number 1 rifle used in mass shootings, just like the mass shooting that occurred in Las Vegas recently.

At approximately 2208 on October 1st of 2017 shots rang out at a concert in Vegas. 5.56mm rifles were used, .308 rifles were used, and possibly others that have not been released yet. It’s easy to want to respond with hateful rhetoric. It’s easy to attack a certain group of our society, gun owners, or even a political side. It’s easy to allow hate an anger to run wild during times of tragedy. We must remember to love, and to spread that love. Placing blame and getting angry doesn’t help anyone during these hard times.

Ephesians 4:17-19 “Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. 18 They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. 19 They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity.” We are all sinners, and those who have rebuked or denied Christ are more in the dark then the rest of us. While this is hard to understand sometimes that darkness will lead people down a path of hate and destruction. In every tragedy there is also opportunity, opportunity to show love, to shower the grieving with the word of God and show the grieving that there is light at the end of their pain.

Politicians will often use these tragedies to attempt to expand on their own personal agendas. While law enforcement is trying to put the pieces together, politicians are licking their chops and the plotting and planning begins. We must not allow the tragedies of this world to be exploited for personal gains or interest. We must instead fall onto scripture to help guide us in our grief. Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

We won’t always understand how someone can be so evil in life, and do so much harm to others. We don’t always understand why innocent people can be caught up in such evil on earth. No matter what we may feel or the questions we may have, know that God is always on the throne. Bad things happen because of sin. God’s heart breaks in such tragedy. We don’t know what God has planned, but we must have faith that God’s plan even if it seems horrible to us, is still perfect. Our hearts may break, our tears will flow, and our dreams be crushed, but God’s perfect plan will happen with our without our consent.

I myself once owned at 5.56mm rifle and I considered it one of my prized possessions. I believe fully in a persons right to choose a weapon to protect their own home, to shoot for fun, to hunt with. While this is a tragedy, and the pieces will be placed together to see the full picture, the debate will once again be raised on gun rights vs. gun control. The point I will leave is, people are evil, cruel, and sinful, and when a person wants to do others harm there will always be a way. No matter the means, no matter if it’s guns, explosives, knives, using motor vehicles, people will harm others to achieve their sick demented ends. The only way to snuff out darkness is by spreading the light. Jesus Christ is the only light we can ever depend on.

 

 

 

 

Jumping into the unknown

Jumping into the unknown

 In a matter of weeks I will embark on an adventure all on my own. In the last year of my life I’ve suffered loss, and some joy along the way. While in every adventure there can be no growth without setbacks. While the journey is far from over it seems glimmers of light can now be seen at the end of a yearlong journey. The light I see at the end of the tunnel isn’t the headlamp of a fast approaching train. It’s finally come and while I know there will be future setbacks I’m prepared to face them head on.

In the last few weeks I’ve faced major opposition from the Veterans Administration and have had to point out gross negligence on their part. This battle has come at the cusp of my life finally being set on a particular track in a particular direction. This set back has minimized my ability to get my train up to full speed. Sadly while this causes undo stress, and might I point out needless stress, I will continue to try and face it with respect and dignity.

We may only get an opportunity once in a lifetime to leap. I’m not saying leap without looking, of course not, but sometime you need to take a leap of faith, and that leap may not always be with sight we understand. Sometimes we just don’t know what’s just around the bed, or just over the side of the next cliff. How can the eagles soar above the clouds if it doesn’t first take the leap? When we love we must first fall, a leap to let a part of ourselves go to allow for someone else to come in. When we love Jesus we must allow a part of our self to be burned away to make room for the light of the world. Loving another person is taking a chance. Rejection in life is always a possibility. Rejection from those whom we love is possibly the most hurtful thing we can ever endure. The fear of that rejection however, the fear of failure, cannot be the reason we don’t try. What if we allow ourselves to be ruled by our fear? What happens to our life, our happiness when we don’t allow ourselves to feel happy?

Genesis 2:18 “And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” We aren’t meant to be in this world alone. We aren’t meant to take the journey solo. We are made to be creatures that desire and need others. While some people are loners and some may desire their solitude that’s not the general idea for the human race. We often hide away after we are hurt, but we cannot live in the cave we’ve built forever. Even when we are broken hearted we must allow the Lord to rebuild us, to help us heal. Psalms 34:18 “The LORD [is] nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” When the right person comes along falling in love will be effortless, it will be like slipping into a warm bath. It will be like being wrapped in joy itself. The euphoria that comes with the act of falling in love is spectacular.

Sometimes we are forced to move, forced to change and we must be ready to embrace that change. Sometimes we must take a leap of faith and the trust comes later. I was watching the “Man of Steel” and while Clark was debating on his decision, he talked with a priest. During that conversation Clark stated he wasn’t sure if he could trust mankind. The priest replied that sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and trust later. Sometimes we must take the deep breath and dive into the deep water. We may not find our gold right away but if we continue to seek, one day we shall find.

As I have no clue what my future has in store for me, I can only hope and pray my future is brighter then the past. While I have seen glimmers of hope, and perhaps even love in my future, I proceed cautiously. I’ve seen and felt hope before only to be destroyed by it. This time around I am more cautious then I was before. This time also, I’m in a much better position. My faith is strong and when I needed proof the answers were given to me. We only need to have faith, and we too can see the truth. While we may not always get what we want, we will be given what we need. We must learn to understand the wants and the needs, and to also understand the repercussions of decisions. Many of our hardships will be a result of our own choices and thus we must remember we always reap what we sew.

Tomorrow’s answers will come when tomorrow does. Worry not about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry for itself. If we spend all our time worrying about our possible failures, or our possible rejections, if we never take that chance, or the leap we will truly never fly. You can’t live life with training wheels on your bicycle so take them off, put on your big boy pants or your big girl panties, and be ready for the world as it comes. Just remember though, a leap of faith doesn’t mean jumping without a parachute. Try to have at least some slight idea so you don’t fall to your own doom. Take the idea, and have faith that God will help guide you to work out the details. Trust in the Lord with thine whole heart and lean not unto your own understanding, but have faith in the truth and the light, and your way, your path shall be lit for you.

The Want, The Need, The Fall

The Want, The Need, The Fall

When you are living life there are things we absolutely need, then there’s things we want. What’s the difference between the two, and why is it dangerous to pursue our wants? When we are moving along there’s things we need, food, shelter, water, and protection. We need to make money to pay the bills and make a living for ourselves. Everything else is a want in life, I want a new phone, a new computer, a new TV, whatever new gizmo, or gadget fancies our attention, the truth is we often place wants more then our needs.

I was reading the news the other day and this mother went to Europe for several days while leaving her children at home alone to fend for themselves. She left 2 12 year olds, a 6 year old and a 7 year old, while she traveled through the EU. Report said she was there sometime prior to the 21’st and not scheduled to return till Oct 1st. Now, what kind of mother does this? This is someone who has no regard for need, instead only considers the want.

What happens when a wife gets bored with her life? When she is no longer satisfied with her life and for some reason she’s compelled to seek out something more, something erotic, she’s willing to put aside every ounce of what’s right, and every shred of decency to throw it out of the window and leave it behind. Peoples wants can be healthy, or they can be destructive. The key is where the heart is and the motives behind the want. I want to make the world a better place for people so I write this blog. I want to reach as many people as I can with the word of the Lord, but as much as I’m compelled to do it, it’s not a need, even if some days it feels like I need to spread the Gospel.

When the selfishness of someone takes over and blinds us from what we should be doing we can see how the want in our life can affect the fall into pure sin. When sinful desires take over we will always be found going down the wrong path, one of destruction. Philippians 4:11-13 “Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

 The heart that cannot feel content will always want. When marriage isn’t enough and more is wanted, it’ll never be enough. The new car will never be new long but will only satisfy but a moment. The newest best and brightest is only a fleeting moment but when the neighbor gets the new, newest thing the envy and greed takes over the mind and soul.

How quickly do we forget Proverbs 14:30 “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” We will never be at peace when all we want is more. The truth to happiness is to be content. We will always have dreams and hopes, and there are always things that would be nice to have, but when that is what consumes our drive we will surly fall. Be at peace with life, learn to love it for what it is. When you are faithful to Love and faithful to God you will be blessed beyond your dreams. Sometimes it just takes patience. It takes great skill to be still in the storm.

 

 

The Tower

The Tower

We feel powerful looking down over the world. Being high up in our tower we feel safe, disconnected from the world below. How fake we are. An illusion of safety and reassurance to let us sleep soundly at night. A king sitting on the very thrown we created, ignoring the struggles and the suffering of the peasants left upon the earth far away from you in your ivory tower. The corruption of selfishness, the fall of man is when the heart fails to self and no longer others. Galatians 6:8 “For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.”

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 Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” We often allow ourselves to be the masters of our own universe and when we do that we loose sight of those around us. We forget how to be empathetic to those less fortunate then ourselves.

When we forget those around us we can often leave lives in ruins. Being selfish, and vain, we can destroy everything we held onto that was once important to us. When I think about how the tower of success can change someone, I think of the fall of King David. When David was on that roof watching Bashiba bathing, so many events started to fall like dominoes and instead of doing the right thing, he plotted and schemed, he cared little for the outcome, and it eventually turned from bad to grotesque. When you sleep with someone’s wife, get them pregnant, plot to cover it up, then plot to have them murdered, and so on, you see what living with power can do over time. If the axiom is true and “Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely” then those who reign high in their corporate ladders, or in positions of power within the government, it’s easy to see how and why they forget what it was like to be the little guy at the bottom.

The sad thing is it doesn’t have to be someone in a tower to forget what’s important. When marriages fall from affairs, when family breaks over the contents of a Last will and testament, or when best friends crumble out of existence, the power we hold can have lasting and damaging consequences. How quickly we forget how powerful that little thing called a tongue can be. The fact is the self can destroy everything, it can bring upon horrible actions and with very little effort ruin lives.

Be careful for the power you wield no matter if you’re the CEO, or just someone friend, very little said or done can be devastating. Remember to remain true to kindness and love. Put a little love in your heart, and if you do make it to the top of that tower and when you’re looking down at how small everyone else seems, don’t forget the perspective. Just because we may look small at the bottom, doesn’t mean we are, and it doesn’t mean we don’t matter.

 

 

Evil Shinnanigans

Evil Shinnanigans

The days come without fail, still no closer to the apocalypse but despite the spinning of our world, the life we live continues on. It’s been no secret the Devils been working overtime this last year to break me, to drag me down to the ground, and it seems more likely he’s trying to put me 6 feet under. While I’m sure He would love nothing more then to take me off the board permanently, I’m afraid to say the rumor of my demise was greatly exaggerated. While this year has been a challenge, I’d say very little difference in my year and the life of Job.

 

It seems that the Devil is up to his old tricks yet again, knocking at my door trying to trick me into opening it, blindly, but that’s not how I do things. You see, in the fight against good and evil the fight doesn’t end till the day we draw our last breath. The day may come when we loose our strength, when we loose our faith in mankind, but today is the day we continue to stand and fight, uphold our beliefs in the Light of the Lord, and continue to walk in the darkness of this world, with our flashlight in hand. Believing in Christ and allowing the light of the world to shine through us. Having Christ working through us is like having a military grade Tac-Light verses that cheap mini mag-light they sell at Walmart.

 

The Devil is like a B-Villian in a superhero show. One who’s just really a useless entity, one that tries and tries to win the battle, but knows deep down, He’ll never win. We may get caught in the wake of the war but only as collateral damage. When we have our foundation set in the Lord, built upon the Rock of Christ.

 

Continue to have faith, and never give up hope. The war is long, but it takes time to build courage, it takes time to learn, to strategize. No matter the pain we feel in the moment of our blows, the losses we will have, the hurt of our broken hearts even when the world itself crumbles to dust, we can always rebuild, we can always overcome. The Devil and His Evil Shinnanigans cannot keep a good Christian down. We are never alone in our fight. We must just look at our neighbors in joint faith and love. Stronger together.

Pretty Good

Pretty Good

“Here’s my day so far: went to jail, lost the girl of my dreams and got my butt kicked pretty good. Still, things could be a lot worse. Oh, that’s right… I’m falling to my death. Guess they can’t. How did it all come to this? Well, my end starts at the beginning… The very beginning!” (Megamind)

So here’s my year so far, lost my wife, lost the greatest position at work ever, lost my house, but still things could be a lot worse, oh, that’s right, I’m still fighting the soul sucking VA and just took a major setback, so how does one carry on you ask? Let me tell you.

After 10 years of working with the Veteran Affairs Administration I have finally made some headway, but at the same time receiving a crushing blow. While I thought the claims I had submitted would have been a slam-dunk victory, never a surprise when dealing with the VA however. I wasn’t surprised at some of the actual claim items not coming back favorable, however I was surprised when they couldn’t even get the claim date correct. I submitted my intent to file which is binding on February 16th, yet the file date they went with was July 31st, which was the date of my temporary disability claim for my emergency surgery. This was because they didn’t actually look at the virtual claims, and made the decision without actually doing their job, this to me is nothing but negligence. Nothing new under the sun when it comes to the VA.

Years ago I placed a claim before I got out of the Army. There was an X-Ray done prior to discharge that showed the C-Spine straightening causing muscle spasms, and headaches. The military found the defect and yet chose later to deny any involvement of it. It would take me years to appeal the VA to overturn their decision and only after I would suffer a bulged disc. The time spent fighting the VA has been long, it’s been exhausting, and have taken more man hours I like to admit. Sadly this seems to be an epidemic

The lesson here is one of patience. The hard thing about dealing with a faceless enemy is you can’t see or touch. When you are fighting a war much like chess, it’s a game of patience. You cannot win the match by rushing forward. You must be patient and tactical. You must have the ability to adapt and overcome adversity. The lesson to be learned is a lot like Batman. A master tactician that learns from every encounter, adapts while on the run, and fights for what he truly believes. While there are obvious differences, the key is patience in the face of adversity, keeping ones head on task and staying focused.

The world is a funny, fickle place, where sometimes the most reasonable ideals are still foreign to others. The VA and it’s shinnanigans have been reeking havoc on veteran lives for years. While the VA does a lot of good for Veterans, when it comes to benefits and service connection, it seems the process is designed for the veteran to fail. The idea of our nations best being strung through the ringer and hung out to dry is sickening. No matter the struggles though remember God is with you. Never stop fighting because it gets hard. Always keep your eyes on the prize and stay focused. The road is rough, but it takes time to make your courage strong.

 

 

 

 

The Empathy Within

The Empathy Within

How do you feel when you see the suffering of others? What does your heart do when you see on TV the faces of the children drinking from dirty puddles? How do you feel when you see the animals that have been abused and tortured? Where’s your heart at? When someone gives you their problems do you raise them up or shoot them down? When someone is hurting and it’s not their fault do you try to help or do you push away? I say again, where’s your heart?

The day may bring great joy and you may be in the season of peace, of happiness, a life without strife, without pain, and without much worry of any kind. The curtain can be drawn back to reveal the truth, the man behind the curtain as it were. When the going gets tough do your friends stick by you and help you through or are you left in the road beaten and dirty? You see the truth is many of us don’t stop to help the beaten traveler on the road. Many of us turn away, looking someplace else because it quite frankly it isn’t my concern. In a blog I wrote a while back I talked about how many people are fair-weather fans. I’ve written about the Good Samaritan and the man under the hood, but what do they all have in common? Empathy, or simply put, the lack thereof, and it’s a lesson I’ve learned the hard way this last year. So few people have empathy for others, and I believe the route of the problem is a lack of love for your fellow man.

When friends abandon you because you’re going through a hardship is that a sign of the level of their love? What about when a marriage falls apart because there’s a rough patch? If we loved more deeply, and allowed ourselves to actually feel the pain of others, we might be less inclined to abandon ship at the first sign of water.

 

Your Love, by Brandon Heath

But your love
Your love
The only the thing that matters is your love
Your love is all I have to give
Your love is enough to light up the darkness
It’s your love
Your love
All I ever needed is your love

 

Give Me Your Eyes, Brandon Heath

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see,
Everything that I keep missing,
Give your love for humanity.
Give me your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten.
Give me Your eyes so I can see.

 

When we look at the people around us we gloss over them and we don’t see the truth. We as a people, as a society have lost our ability for a lot of reason to see the pain underneath the surface. Men in our time hold onto the pain they feel, the suffering, the shame, or guilt of their actions. Women have lost the nurturing side of who they where. Where’s the love, where’s the empathy we are supposed to have?

Christ felt deeply for the sick, the lame, the poor, and the hungry. Christ went to great lengths to feel their pain, to ease their suffering. Christ performed miracles almost always for the betterment of those who needed it most. He could feel the pain, he could feel the suffering, and he had empathy for their situation. The Lord loves us, and as we suffer in our situation know the Lord is with us always. While people may fail you, Christ won’t. 1 Thessalonians 5:11Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” You and I, the human race must remember to find what we’ve lost and that’s love. It isn’t just enough to see the suffering of others we must feel the suffering of others. Romans 12:15 “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.” We must serve the Lord and when we do that we must be able to see the world as Christ sees the world. The Lord of all see and feels all things. If you are a person who things you are above helping someone, above feeling empathy for those who have less then you, I say shame on you. Galatians 6:2-3 “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.”

 We are nothing without Christ’s love so why do we not share that love with others? Why are we so consumed with our own petty selves? Without the grace of God we would have nothing, and when we abandon those we supposedly love what does that say about our true nature? When we turn our backs, abandon them because their ‘negativity’ is ‘too much’ to handle. Shame on you, if that’s something you’ve done. When you abandon someone in need I would surmise you are actually sinning. I believe when you turn your head the other way and you allow the suffering of others to happen within your attention you do not love your neighbor as you are commanded too.

Just remember one thing, when you forsake a friendship and you abandon them to face their sorrows alone, the day will come when you yourself are in need. Who then will help you when you found it too inconveniencing to be there for them? Empathy is about having love for your fellow human beings, and one day you might just need a friend. Sure it’s easy to be someone’s friend when everything is fine, but when the going gets tough, don’t just hop the next flight out of town just because you can’t be bothered with it. That’s entirely selfish and ridiculous. If you’re going to call someone a friend, and if you’re going to tell them you love them, then prove it when it matters most.

 

 

 

 

Reach for the Golden Ring

Reach for the Golden Ring

Our life is full of choices and full of chances. We cannot live in regret because we may only get to ride the ride once. If you’re going to live life you cannot just flounder around in the waves. There’s a golden ring up there for everyone. There’s greatness at the fingertips of everyone, the problem is we don’t allow ourselves to pursue or reach our full potential. Greatness is all about taking chances, it’s all about the risks and making sure we take the right ones. Not every risk will pay off, but we cannot reach our full potential unless we jump.

No matter how far you have to run, never stop reaching for that golden ring. Van Halen said it best:

DREAMS

World turns black and white
Pictures in an empty room
Your love starts fallin down
Better change your tune
Reach for the golden ring
Reach for the sky
Baby just spread your wings

[Chorus:]
We’ll get higher and higher straight up we’ll climb
We’ll get higher and higher leave it all behind
Run, run, run, away
Like a train runnin off the track
The truth gets left behind
And falls between the cracks
Standing on broken dreams
But never losing sight
Spread your wings

[Chorus]

So baby dry your eyes, save all the tears you’ve cried
Ohh that’s what dreams are made of
Oh baby we belong in a world that must be strong
Ohh that’s what dreams are made of

 

People will tell you you’re not good enough. They will tell you, all kinds of things, like not smart enough, not tall enough, not pretty enough, you don’t sound the part, but in every instance of being told no, make sure you are listening to the path from God. Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you using your God given talent. You will be told no a lot before you finally hear that yes. Don’t loose hope in yourself. Keep pushing and keep making yourself better. You never know what the world will hold when you push through the opposition to realize your true potential. While we all have our special gifts, and while greatness is measured by history do not mistake my meaning. Greatness isn’t fame and fortune. While some will reach that, and while it’s some peoples dreams to do so, what’s important is the legacy you leave behind. How are the lives touched around you? Does your life lift people up, does it help others when they are in need, or are you always beating people down? What kind of leader are you? Do you lead from the desk while everyone else slaves around you? Do you lead from the front, by showing and doing? Be great at whatever you do. Don’t ever quit reaching for your dreams. The path wont be easy and you’ll stumble and fall, but get back up, lick your wounds, and when you push and you follow your dreams you can be great, even if it’s just to the people around you.

You have to be ready to leap and pull your shoot. When you live your life you might only get a few moments to make a name for yourself. You may only get that one shot, one shot in any given lifetime, so you need to make sure when you have your chance you bring everything you have to offer. Don’t stop and even if you fall, even if you don’t succeed get back up. Boxers get knocked down, singers get booed off stage, actors are passed over for movies, but when that one time comes up you better bring everything. Always be the best you can be and never doubt yourself. No matter what your gift is, singing, writing, dancing, an instrument, photography, being a parent, being a supervisor, saving lives, going to war, no matter what it is follow the path and never give up.

Lose Yourself by Eminem

Look
If you had

One shot

Or one opportunity

To seize everything you ever wanted

In one moment

Would you capture

Or just let it slip?

 Your dreams my break, and your hopes may get crushed but always remember scripture. Proverbs 16:3 “Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.” When your dreams are in line with serving God, bringing honor and glory to the King of Kings, you won’t fail. While in our path to achieve our goals we will face tribulations. Romans 12:12 “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” No matter the path we must remember to always put God first in all we do. Matthew 6:33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” It’s in this that we truly receive the blessings from above. When we realize that all things come from God, we will be more grateful for the blessings we have. Never forget the blessings, and give the praise to where it comes from. No matter the trials we may face, that is only to build strength, to test fortitude, to bring glory and preparation.

Hard Love by NeedtoBreathe

Hold on tight a little longer
What don’t kill ya, makes ya stronger
Get back up, ’cause it’s a hard love
You can’t change without a fallout
It’s gon’ hurt, but don’t you slow down
Get back up, ’cause it’s a hard love
You know the situation can’t be right
And all you ever do is fight
But there’s a reason that the road is long
It takes some time to make your courage strong

 

We cannot move forward until we are ready, and sometimes the hardships are just that, tests to make sure we can handle the next phase. While hardships we face might be the Devils doing we have our choice on how we manage setbacks. Remember to always spread your wings and remember you cannot sore above the clouds till you’ve first fallen to the ground. Hope and pray, find yourself, and be ready to use your gift, reach high, and never stop, reach for that Golden Ring and paradise awaits you.

 

 

 

 

My What Big Eyes You Have

My What Big Eyes You Have

Matthew 7:15-20 15 Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. 16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? 17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. 19 Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. 20 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.”

When I was a young boy I thought my life was normal. Then I started to open my eyes to the world around me. I looked at the families of my friends, I looked at the kids at school and I realized my life was far from average. As I got older I found I was disconnected from the world around me. The world as it was didn’t seem to accept me for who I was. The bullying started and soon it was more then just name calling and teasing it became physical. My shoes would be taken in gym and tossed around, my stuff would be knocked to the floor, I’d be pushed around when nobody was watching and no one ever came to my rescue. The day I received a swirly was one of the worst and most shameful moments of my life. I didn’t want the world to see me anymore. If all of that wasn’t bad enough, the following school year my mother was involved in a serious incident. It wasn’t long before the cat was out of the bag, and mean kids became cruel and from then on the words were that of physiological warfare….. Torture. When the school bullies learned of what happened I became the punch line and it was clear I wasn’t ever going to fit in. I drew into myself. I tried to put on a smile, but it was fake. No one knew the pain, and even the school counselors did nothing. Twice I was punished for fighting back when I was pushed or shoved into the lockers, or when someone said just the right thing knowing after 3 years how to push my buttons. Every day I thought about my life and how much I wanted the world to end. Every day I cried wishing my life would end and the pain would stop. I wasn’t normal, I wasn’t special, I was nothing in the world. The idea of life’s meaning was brought up more then once in my internal monolog. Would the world have been better without me? Since no one wanted me, I was an anomaly that there was no answer too.

I wandered through life lost, and confused about who I was. I felt the Devils claws digging into my heart and squeezing the joy from my chest as if I were some fruit trying to get juice. The thoughts in my head kept telling me, there’s a better way, better days for the winds to lift us on eagles wings and we would find better ways to look into the storm and stand tall against the Devil and his minions of death. Would moving make things better? Would a change make things better? From the ages of 10 to 16 I moved around a few times trying to find where I belonged, each time feeling as if I were betraying someone. Every time I left I struggled with my decision. A foolish sense of loyalty remained in my heart and caused doubt with each passing day. The joy would only be temporary and the guilt would set in like a sticky fog and I couldn’t outrun it.

The life I wanted would come with my final move. A school I could find myself in, friends I would grow to depend on, the occasional girlfriend, and an abundance of success. Finally for the first time in my life I found a sense of peace, a sense that the world wasn’t all out to get me. While every life has its setbacks, every heart has its heartbreak, and every day must bring forth it’s night, the truth was I was home. Three years I lived that life, and three years I found my happiness. When the day came to graduate I knew life wasn’t going to play by the rules anymore. I knew the protection we teenagers had would eventually fall away. It’s that false sense of security that’s so important to notice.

I sit alone and listen to the words of the music from my computer. We see through our eyes of perspective, but narrow and pointed. How we don’t see the truth, how we never think to walk a mile in their shoes. What would it be like to walk in someone’s shoes? Would we ever see the pain they hide behind their eyes? Would we feel what they feel? What’s it like to feel the pain of someone else? What’s it like to feel the judgments we deal out? What’s it like to be on the receiving end of our harsh words and our snap judgments? What is it like to be at the top and still feel like you’re at the bottom? When we receive our gifts in life do we look at them objectively, or do we allow our narrow field of view to blind us? Is it a gift or a curse? Are the gifts we embrace truly gifts or are they wolves in sheep’s clothing?

While in my life I’ve loved deeply, that love has come with a cost. I have lost the women in my life I was closest too. I have loved and lost more then many, but still less then others. My life has had its share of pain and suffering, but was it because of my inability to see the true nature of what I had? What may appear to be a wonderful gift from God might truly be a curse. The truth hurts and nothing hurts like the betrayal of the people we love most. Best friends will leave you, loved ones will forsake you, the words that are uttered will cut most deeply. The Devil will try to get to you using any means possible. The Devil will break through and turn your friends against you. The Devil will draw your spouse away and in that the wolves are everywhere. The Devil takes no prisoners and doesn’t care at the cost, the collateral damage left in the wake of destruction. I spent so much of my life hanging low, picking up the pieces from the ground trying to put my life back together over and over again.

The truth is however you can’t rebuild using the rubble of your life; you must first clear away the destruction to make room for the new. You must remove the old and damaged pieces and look to the future, look to the sky for the chances to rebuild stronger and better then it was before. Looking at the destruction of our lives is easy to do, but when the storm blows through and the light shines through, clear the old and make room for the new. You can’t build a house on top of the old one. You can’t let the destruction of the old get in the way of the possibilities. Furthermore, you cannot look at every gift with suspicion. You must have faith in God and the blessings bestowed upon you. As I have said in the past trust but verify. Look at the gifts and be thankful for what you have.

Even as the wolf lays in the bed waiting to gobble you up, wearing a grandma suit trying to trick you, you cannot allow for the sin of others to affect you and take away your joy. Christ died for us, his blood spilt to give us the joy of salvation. No matter what people say or do, that will never define the purpose God has for you. Believe in yourself no matter what the devil throws in your path. Life will hurt you, the Devil will beat you, and the world you love so much, the life you’ve built will crumble around you and you will be powerless to stop it. No matter the storm stand strong, stand tall. Fight back against the wolves sent to pull you down, pull you away from Christ. Fight back and don’t allow the Devil to stop you from moving forward. You can never hit a home run if you’re too afraid to swing. You cannot allow the Devil to pull you away from salvation. Believe in yourself and live your life with Love, Kindness, and Compassion for your fellow man. Trust in the word and love.

It’s hard to love after major disasters. It’s hard to have faith in tomorrow when your standing in the middle of destruction but as Christ forced the very clouds upon the water to part, the winds to vanish, and the sun to shine, your life is only a matter of time and prayer. Prayers for help, pray for guidance, and pray for strength to persevere. Love is about having faith; it’s about pushing and believing in God, believing in yourself, and trying to always see the best in the people in your life. Life can be rebuilt for as long as you draw breath there is always hope. As long as you believe the world turns, the sunrises and sets and with every day a chance to change, a chance to paint a new canvas with your own story, you can be exactly the person God knows you can be. Do you believe in life after love? When you don’t think you’re strong enough, fall to your knees and you will be blessed. We are strong enough as long as we have Christ with us and by our side. Never quit and never allow the wolf to take from you that, which is most precious, your faith in Christ.

No Strings On Me

No Strings On Me

A child of sin we fight and fight, bound by our strings of sin the devil pulls us here, and moves us there, but children of sin the strings on me. One sin, the dominoes that fall, one after another, the puppet master controlling, whispering, the temptations draw us down. We clash and brawl but the nature we cannot win, the truth remains the strings hold me down and move me all around. A marionette we move through life, but is it our own? We are blessed with free will, the will to kill, the will to heal, the will to give, the will to take, but always the will is free. So why the strings, why do they control, the gentle or the fool? We have no strings, but then we do, where’s the line, the line in the sand we see and we watch, but do we cross, or do we stay?

The highway’s lonesome, the path is a treacherous one. The thoughts are wondering, and enter the whispers, but who is it I hear, what is it that stalks me in the darkness of my own mind? The Devil takes shapes, moves throughout the shadows, hiding or coming to and fro. The world in chaos, the evil that spreads, a gift from Eve, the sin was born, the victim of ignorance and evil. Her strings were pulled, the desire of man, the first of many, a path was set, forever to walk but a light shines in the distance, what could it be?

Romans 7:21-25 21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. 22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, 23 but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.”

 The spirit is willing, but the flesh falls short. Sin pulls us, sin dwells within us, binds us, sin not unlike the strings of a puppet. When we walk blindly through life our sin nature being pulled and tempted, whispered to by Satan keeps us under control by that sin. Do you want to be a pawn, or some marionette to be used, or be controlled? Most people live their lives in the dark, unaware of the strings on them. The only way to cut those strings is in two words, Jesus Christ.

No Strings Attached by NSYNC

Take it from me
It’s a lesson to be learned
Even the good guys get burned
Take it from me
See, I would give you love
The kind of love that you’ve only dreamed of

Jesus is the only way to cut those strings. We may not ever cut sin from our lives, but the Fire of the Holy Spirit can change us. When we know Christ as our one and only Savior we have a weapon to fight the sin nature we are bred with. We are all sinners and sin by nature, but when we accept Christ our hearts undergo a fundamental change, and we see through new eyes. The truth is Christ’s blood freed us from the bonds of eternal death. While we are still sinners we have a choice when our eyes are opened to allow the Devil to pull on us, or not.

I’ve Got No Strings

I’ve got no strings
To hold me down
To make me fret
Or make me frown
I had strings
But now I’m free
There are no strings on me

 Don’t be afraid of the Devil for he holds no strings on you when you realize you’re not alone. Pick up the phone and call for Christ, don’t be afraid of the Devil for he has no power over you. The one who has all the power is Christ. He has allowed us the choice, and freedom is power, we have the power to fight sin, to actively think about it daily. We may not be perfect, but often our sin is a choice we make. Don’t fall trap to the dominoes of sin because once you start with the little sins, the big stuff is only a small stretch. Cut your strings of sin and embrace your freedom. We have freedom and freedom is power, so in the words of a great man “With great power comes great responsibility!” (Uncle Ben, Spiderman) Don’t take our power for granted. Use your freedom to do great good. Don’t be controlled by Satan any longer. Let the light of the Holy Spirit fill you up, and think of that before you make decisions that might lead you down the road of Sin. Sin are weights that hold you down, once you drop the life in the dark, you can live life and unencumbered and with the Holy Spirit as your guide, speed your way through life and don’t like it hold you back.