Tag: TEST

The Truth

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The Truth

Being a Christian doesn’t mean I have it together all the time. It doesn’t mean someone is ok all the time. It doesn’t mean you’re never depressed. It doesn’t mean you can’t have other mental illnesses like bipolar or anxiety disorder. It means we realize we cannot possibly make it through this journey alone. We rely on our Lord and Savior to help us through and that we are nothing without Jesus Christ with us.

I am woefully insecure. My mind seeks human approval and acceptance. My mind is wrought with loneliness and self doubt. My insecurities make me question much about myself. I’ll give some examples.

“Hey how are you?”(message seen) two days later still no reply…

(Brain: what did I do? Are they upset with me? They don’t like talking to me. Am I not important to them?)

If I go too long without hearing from someone I question if I matter to that person. Do I cross their mind? Why don’t they say hello. Why don’t they ever check on me? Ultimately years of abandonment have culminated into a fear of such things, along with a deep seated question of self value and a desire for friendships that won’t scatter when the light reveals my imperfections.

As years pass by it seems I have become more and more isolated, not by choice, but by world events. My recent bout with Covid, left me seeking and searching both inside myself and outside for answers. While some people came to my aid, others whom I expected to be there weren’t. It produces a mix of feelings associated with my personal value. Of course the caveat to all of this is both simple and immensely complex. I am a child of God, a follower of Jesus Christ, and God don’t make trash. I have value because I am loved by God. On the flip side, feeling as I do are feelings of the world. The feeling and desire of wanting human contact is powerful. My soul and mind are at odds with one another and with a history of depression, a fierce battle.

The desires that comes and goes to reach out to people, is one that often seems to get me into trouble. It seems the thought of checking on loved ones and friends regularly, even if it’s just to show I care, is often met with feelings of anxiety, and messages left unanswered. Of course, in this age of digital communication, it’s too easy to ignore, and simply vanish in an event now called ghosting, is far too common in my life. Ghosting happens regularly in my life. And on top of that, those whom I had been friends with for years, have up and vanished, leaving me to hold on tight to those relationships I value most. Sometimes creating a catch 22. The desire to keep people close often has the adverse effect of pushing them away. Finding balance has not been my forte’.

Living with this kind of fear of loss is not easy, but there is hope out there to find. When I’m at my lowest, I remember my eternal Father. I remember that Jesus died for me, and that’s something I can’t ever let go of. In order to manage lows, anyone, anytime has to be proactive. In order for me to manage my way through the dark times, I have to create a mix of time with God but also time with people. It’s hard going sometimes, but knowing there’s light at the end of the tunnel is vastly important. Making my way through Covid, and the isolation it created has been a challenge. Many days of long periods of silence, left me in time of study in Gods word. I think back to Paul and the times of solitude in prison. How much less of a man am I, that I should not suffer also? If Paul can do it, I shall also. Paul suffered yet endured. He had a couple people he could always count on, as do I.

Managing these things doesn’t have to be completely debilitating, even though it proves a challenge, life moves on. Finding ways to manage the loneliness, and dealing with the depression that comes with, the lack of motivation, is a cyclical problem to deal with, but one that is nothing beyond what God can manage, and get me though. Time keeps moving forward and so shall I. God gets all the glory, and provides me everything I need. Never keep from moving forward, and never stop fighting the good fight.

Hope In The Covid Storm

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The darkness is not powerful enough to withstand the light. The night lingers on, the shadows dance and cause a fright. The boogeyman hides behind every corner. The trees dance causes you to quiver and shake. The wolves howl at the moon. The nights wind chills to the bone.

The sky turns a deep crimson as the sun cracks the horizon. The ghosts and goblins made up by our own imagination recoils into the recesses of our minds. The light uncovers the truth, revealing the secrets the darkness tried to keep. The hopeless found in the night shattered by the light.

The failures that replay in our heads, a glimpse of the past, reminders of Satans chains not that bind us, but that Christ broke for us. The darkness is no more, only in our minds. The light shines and makes us free. The heart aches and hard knocks come yet go, with Christ a brighter future exists you’ll see.

Covid brings fear, brings panic, with no TP to find. We wear masks and stay at home. We see each other through our mobile phones. We see everything going wrong. With no sports, or shows. With no trips, or concerts. With no church, or events. We find ourselves deep in our imagination of darkness, but the light shines.

The future we had has slowly faded away. The storm came and covered the globe. The war against a virus. Something so small we could not see what was lurking round every corner. But in this storm we see hope. In this storm we come together to protect and serve. In the eye of the storm, we know Jesus, our Lord and Savior is in control. Jesus love surrounds us and shines our way home, guarding our souls. Let Jesus shine through you for others to find their way out of the darkness. Be the little Christ we are called to be. You’re not alone in the Storm. We have hope because Jesus is the chain breaker, the way maker, the healer, the miracle worker, and in him we must put our faith and under the wings of eagles we must rest.

By Jacob K.

But Did You Die

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But Did You Die

A lot of people avoid church on the premise of ‘if they knew what I’ve done they wouldn’t let me in’. I’ve heard all kinds of excuses as to why people don’t go to church. Too busy, my only day off, no ride, to I need to get right before I go. None of which are valid excuses. Church is an hour out of the day. And you don’t get well before seeing the doctor. You go to church to get well. You go to church to have your spirit fed with the Holy Spirit. But then, there’s the flip side of the coin, and this part, this part will raise some eye brows. People who use the excuse of what they’ve been through, the struggles or the hardships, and hold on to them. How do I know? I was one of those people.

I’ve been through so much in my life, and I held onto those things with a death grip. I’m not saying letting go is easy, and I’m not saying those things don’t deserve attention. What I am saying is no matter how bad it was, “But did you die?” Since the answer to that is no, whatever it’s was is in the past. As Rafiki said “The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.” Simba experiences something awful in his life. He ran from it, and all his responsibilities. I’m dealing with our own traumas, are we running from our pain or are we embracing it, letting it fuel us, and moving forward with the important life lessons? Life can hurt, but running from those emotions can hurt even more. We as humans hold onto the past. We hold on to the regrets, the hurt, the doubts, and failures. During a movie called ‘The Hangover’ chow essentially is telling the group of guys, no matter how bad it was even one of them being shot ‘but did you die?’ No matter how bad we think life is, we still have breath, and as God has shown time and time again, He WILL see you through it. You can’t run from your emotions. You can’t ignore them. I made that mistake during a large part of my life, and the consequences of running where dire. During the post https://thearrowpreacher.wordpress.com/2018/04/29/run-barry-run/ I quoted Leonard Snart “You can’t outrun grief” and “If you don’t confront your feelings, your feelings will confront you.”(Leonard Snart).

We want to live a life free of pain and suffering but that’s not realistic. Those things will come, and since we know they will, we can prepare for them, and when they do, instead of holding on to them, confront them, and then take only what you need, and leave the rest at the foot of the cross. I’m by no means saying this is easy, and from my own personal experience, I know this can be difficult. What I also know from first hand experience is, holding onto those things of the past can spread like a cancer. So, once again, to those who use the past as a shield, “but did you die?” We live and living means another day to fight the good fight. We think we have struggles and we do, but scripture is full of those who struggled before us. Job, Isaiah, Daniel, David, Paul, and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who was tortured and hung on a cross as an innocent man. Our worst days, may equal that if Paul, or Daniel, (albeit I don’t think anyone’s been thrown into a lions den), or Job, but scripture is always clear, when we walk in Christ he will replace what we loose and even better than what was lost. (Even if that means eternal life in Heaven). This life is fleeting. We come from dust, and we shall return to dust. Our spirit will ascend to Heaven when we accept Christ. Gods grace is sufficient.

Let God be your guide and your healer. Push forward beyond the hardships and don’t let those things keep you from achieving the plan God has for you. As Gimley says “there’s one dwarf yet in Moria that still draws breath” (LOTR). Are we full of that kind of spirit for life? Are we full of that kind of strength with Christ with us to face the next day no matter what comes? We should be, because unless we die, we still draw strength from the Spirit of Christ, and Death is just the beginning. Don’t let the past spread in your life like a cancer. Let it go, and let God rule, not the past.

Expectations

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Expectations

Do you ever ask yourself who you’re trying to please or why? People have so many expectations and it’s nearly impossible to meet them. You may meet or exceed them sometimes, maybe even most of the time, but how quickly we as a people judge more harshly in the failures and forget about the successes. We place unfair expectations on people and the moment they make even the slightest of errors they are ousted as friends, or even in marriage. We forget that we are all sinners, and we all make mistakes. Yes some mistakes are worse then others in our point of view, but in God’s eyes they are all equal. There is no sin greater then another. We forget the importance of forgiveness and grace in our lives. We place unfair expectations on people and then get mad when they don’t live up to what we want. How quickly a person will flip flop as the wind blows. Thankfully God doesn’t do that to us.

I can remember my time in security. We would go weeks or months without a single incident, but the moment anything bad happened security was the first to be blamed for not being around to stop it from happening. Weeks or months without any major incidences soon accounted for nothing, but how quickly things changed in the attitudes at work.

I’ve been putting some thought into what I want in a relationship. As I have watched people come and go, it’s dawned on me that this concept of expectations has become one of fragile eggshells. The slightest miss step and the egg breaks, people get angry and walk away. To that end it begs the question, are we loving one another like we are called to in scripture?  We judge other so quickly, often without any background information, or even a moment to clarify what was said or meant. We find in scripture those who judge are actually wrong for doing so. Matthew 7:1-3“Judge not, that ye be not judged. 2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. 3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?”

We as a society, if it weren’t enough to judge so quickly, and flippantly, we not only judge the smallest things, we’ve become a world of shallow physical judgments. While the argument can be made that attraction is important, I submit we have grown to an unhealthy idea of what attractive is and what it isn’t. From movie stars, models, and most others famous people, they now become the standard to what beautiful is. The truth is we are all beautiful. We are wonderfully created by the Lord of the universe. We are special and we must realize that as a pillar of our faith. Christ bled for, died for us, and if we are to be honest about what our expectations should be, it’s simply just to love like scripture commands. It’s time we start to treat people with respect again because we are all the body of Christ connected under the same cross, washed by the same blood.

We must be patient, understanding, and grow closer, not separating over small squabbles. We often miss such amazing blessings because we dismiss others for little to no good reason. Can you take a moment to think what would happen if Christ dismissed us at our slightest transgression? We would have no hope if it weren’t for grace. We are so consumed with “what’s going to work out best for me?” We do this instead of asking what we’re doing, delighting yourself in the Lord! We ought to give grace to others, and take time to truly get to know others, and we need to be patient and stop judging, and placing expectations someone could never live up too. If you’re willing to walk away over the smallest of things, what will happen when someone lets you down with the bigger issues? We are all sinners, we will always fall short, and we must ask ourselves how we would want others to treat us when we falter slightly. Do we want forgiveness, or do we want to be treated in the ways we treat others? Shame on us for being so judgmental that we waiver like a sail in the wind.

It’s so easy to have open and honest communication. It’s so easy to say how we feel when someone lets you down. We don’t live in love even though that’s what we seek. We want others to give us the benefit of the doubt. We want Jesus to show us mercy. Are we living with hearts of mercy, hearts of grace, hearts of love? We aren’t a perfect people, so before you pass judgment on someone quickly, take a moment to think about our expectations and if we are fair and just, or if we are wicked with a cold heart. 2 Corinthians 12:8-9 “Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” Grace is something we should all show more often. We must learn how to communicate our feelings rather than walking away. When our actions hurt another person, we must learn that even when Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” Speech is not the only form of communication. Body language is 70% of communication. When we turn and walk away we are saying a great deal. We must learn to trust in our faith, and we cannot pass judgments on others based on our own past experiences. One thing I see a lot in relationships is how someone brings baggage from their past and place their insecurities on others. We are told not to recluse ourselves, and it’s important to remember that because God wants us to fellowship with other brothers and sisters in Christ. Do not isolate yourself, and do not force isolation on others. Life up and do not tear down.

 

 

Satan’s Great Lie

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Satan’s Great Lie

The grass ain’t greener on the other side. Every time we sacrifice what we have for the lie Satan tells us we are bound to watch life fall to ruin. When Eve took the fruit it was “thinking” God was keeping blessings from her. When we watch marriages fall to affairs it’s usually thinking the grass is greener. This isn’t true for all affairs obviously, but I’d say for most it’s probably a bulls eye statement. A while back I wrote a blog post entitled the Grass Ain’t Greener https://thearrowpreacher.wordpress.com/2017/06/20/the-grass-aint-greener/In this post I talked about how we look for happiness in the wrong places. Instead of trying to fix what’s right in front of us the easier path is to cross that line and watch as lives are destroyed. (Not all marriages are healthy and sometimes the safest way to turn is to leave. This is because you can’t change the other person and sometimes you have to leave for your own well being. This not should be taken lightly however and should always be the absolute last resort. Counseling, should always be on the table before divorce.)  Satan wants us to fall victim to the pain and wants us to turn our backs on Christ. The thing about Satan is he doesn’t fabricate untruths, he twists the truth to fit a certain point of view. I’ll show you some examples. Genesis 3:1-5 3“Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?” 2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; 3 but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’ ” 4 Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” Satan knew that death wouldn’t be instant, but slowly, as time would age their bodies. Satan also knew that the tree would cause sin to enter into the world creating the divide between perfection and the earth. Satan lied by twisting the truth to fit a point of view. Not much different from what we see in Star Wars in Episode 3. When Anakin Skywalker falls to the Emperor by twisting the truth and making it seem the Jedi are the villains of the universe.

Satan later came to tempt Christ. In Matthew 4:1-11 Satan comes to Jesus and tries to get Jesus to use his Divine powers for personal gain. The temptation was for vanity, and if Christ would be willing to fall to the temptation, He could be persuaded not to go through with the persecution to instead rule over the earth, once again separating God from His children. Jesus however would not fall to this twist of truth. The lie is in the cost, not the act. Yes, Jesus was hungry and the bread would have stifled his hunger. The second temptation is Jesus on the pinnacle of the temple. Satan tells Jesus, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down.” He is tempting Jesus’s pride, and faith. Jesus knows the Angels would catch him, but Jesus replies, “You shall not tempt the Lord.” In essence Satan is calling Jesus chicken. If you’re really the Son of the Father you need to prove it. Jesus doesn’t fall for this temptation, and Satan moves on to the third and final temptation. Satan tried to appeal to the sin of power. Satan offered dominion over the earth’s kingdoms right then, without having to suffer for it. Jesus replied that we are to worship “the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.” Jesus could have taken the kingdoms of the earth and ruled over them, but this would not have been the will of the Father.

Every temptation was based in truth. Every lie is a twist of facts just rebranded to look a little different. When we look at the lies Satan tells us every day, that you are a sinner, that you’re not worthy, that you’re a failure, that you’re weak, those things aren’t lies. It’s not that they aren’t true, the lie is where we forget about God’s promise, God’s love, grace. God’s grace and love and choice to save us is what overcomes the truth. We can never do enough, or be worthy enough to earn God’s graces, but that doesn’t take away from the truth that we are saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. Just as Satan could not tempt Jesus, we too must remember that Satan will lie to us and try to draw our attention away from Christ, but he will do so by twisting the law, twisting the truth, and trying to make you feel badly about yourself.

In Romans 14 Paul talks about how the simplest of things could be true based on the feelings around the temptations. For some person bowling could be a sin if that’s where their focus always is. Paul’s saying in the letter, do not pass judgment on the way someone eats, because they may be right with God and we shouldn’t judge another. In many of Paul’s letters especially Galatians Paul mentions circumcision that the church in Galatia was making men turned Christian get circumcised as if it were mandatory. Paul puts them in their place rebuking them for the only thing necessary for salvation is the love of Christ. Now, Satan will use all manner of things such as certain foods, or customs, or books we read such as “Harry Potter”,while it is not a sin for some, but others it may conflict with their personal beliefs. Satan will use this type of dissention to create a wedge between God’s people. While it may be true for one person and their relationship with God, it’s not going to be true for another. We must be careful with what we say is a Sin, and what we pass along in judgment to others. Having an affair may bring someone happiness temporarily, eventually that will wear off, just like buying a new car when you can’t afford it. Sure that new car will drive great, and you’ll have fun, and be proud of it, but when the car payments start to overwhelm you, you find that it’s not so much fun anymore. When we look at the lies from Satan they are always going to be based in truth but twisted to take your focus off of God. We must be careful with what we preach and how we preach it. I can stand here and say that alcohol is a Sin, but that’s not accurate. To much alcohol or a dependency on it however, is a sin. While there are millions of people who can use it responsibly, for some it would become a sin simply by the person they become, or the fact it in itself becomes an idol for them. Don’t be so quick to listen to someone quote scripture as a place of sin. Do your own research because I have seen church’s say you cannot be a Deacon if you have been divorced, no matter the reason. I have seen churches where the women in the church can’t have their hair cut short, or the men must wear a collard shirt, or the women cannot wear pants of any kind. Be careful what you label as sin because it could be you, who is sinning by passing judgments on others. Satan is not more powerful then God, and the lies whispered to us are only powerful if we allow them to have such power. Harden your mind against the attacks of the Devil, and protect your heart from barrage of aggressive talk from others. Take scripture and learn it, read it, study it, and you will find truth in a world full of lies.

God Never Fails

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God Never Fails

We may fault and even break in our lives. We may fall to anger and we let our own fears dictate and rule over our emotions.

I can remember a time in my life when I was so angry with God. I fully believed that God was cruel, and mean, and vengeful. I felt that my suffering was because God sat back and did nothing while my tears and blood stained the ground. I let my fear turn to anger and anger clouds judgment. I was terrified and even though my feelings fit the facts, I didn’t cope very well. I forgot one major part of following Christ, having the trust that we’d never be left alone. I forgot to have faith and know that I didn’t cause what happened to me, and neither did God. People are sinful and make their own choices. People choose to walk along the dark path away from God. Sadly by the time I realized where I had gone wrong I was laying on the ground bleeding out.

We all have choices in our lives and sometimes our emotion mind is in full gear and nothing else seems relevant. The actions that come from full-blown emotion mind can be wonderful, but also disastrous. The years come and go and the debris still litters the ground with the destructive hurricane force of stupid decisions.  One feeling that has remained is that of weakness. When the pain and fear take over and decisions are made from EM, even as rare as that might be, I often find myself feeling weak. I don’t usually have a problem with temptations, but feelings of worthlessness, grief, regret, those are my biggest enemies apart from a constant feeling of loneliness. I know 2 Corinthians12:9  “He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Despite knowing what scripture says, it’s hard to fill my heart with it to the point where something fundamentally changes. Reality is much harder then I personally think it should be.

When my ex wife had an affair I stayed loyal to her. I stood by her side when another man was brought to the house. I stood by her side when I was placed in jail over something that was a lie. All of which I was exonerated, but the point was I stood by her side. People often asked me why I continued to be there for her despite the things she would do. I often placed myself in Gods shoes and I thought about all the times we let down God. All the chances we are given to right wrongs, and while God can see our hearts, I had to trust that in time my ex wife would one day come around. Two years later today, we are now divorced but we hold a friendship. I don’t necessarily agree with the path she’s taken, but she seems happy. Faith is the key, faith that people can change, and I know that one day my view of myself will change and I will see what God sees in me. It isn’t likely to be an easy path, but one I gladly take. When I stop placing my sense of value based on other people’s opinions of me, I know that I will believe in myself more.

Living in love every day isn’t easy when I don’t always feel that love. Facing rejections every day but learning to take them in stride is all part of the healing process. Joy comes from God and it’s important to remember salvation cannot be bought, it cannot be bribed, it can not be swindled, because it comes from the ransom Christ paid for our sins as he himself took on the wrath of the Father so we wouldn’t have to. No matter the path you’ve chosen in the past, the path before you, is your choice to walk or not. At any time you can choose to be different, you can choose to let Jesus Christ in your heart and become a new creation washed by the Holy Spirit. You can watch as your old self is burned away and what’s left is the Diamond built by God. You are Gods child and therefore royalty to inherit a place in Heaven for all eternity. Knowing this life is short but necessary, we can remind ourselves what’s important and continue to refocus our hearts to do Gods will, to bring Glory to the name of Jesus Christ and forever sing praises to our savior and our Heavenly Father.

Laughing on the Outside

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Laughing on the Outside

“I’m only laughing on the outside. My smile is just skin deep. If you could see inside I’m really crying. You might join me for a weep.” (Joker)

 Recently I watched as a friend, or some unknown relationship status, told me that they had plans with work friends a few days in a row. While most of the time I don’t know if that would bother me, but I got the impression they would rather spend time with anyone but me. I got the feeling I was just the back up friend so whenever they didn’t have plans, then maybe I would be on the lineup. I don’t know if this was the case, or if this was just coincidence. In the last few days I have felt the darkness creep in like a shadow. The struggle to feel content in any situation is my deepest labor. The silence grows in me like a cancer. In the silence the Devil whispers in my ear, and I pray earnestly to be rid of the lies.

Philippians 4:12-13“12 I know how to [a]be abased, and I know how to [b]abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through [c]Christ who strengthens me.”

 Paul is telling the church at Philippi that he has learned to lessen the impact of the situations he finds himself in. The word Abased is tapeinoō to reduce the pain. He explains that he knows how to abound or perisseuō, to exist or be at hand in abundance.

What do we do in our times of struggle? For many like me, internalize the pain, and smile and laugh, but only on the outside. As I think back on the line from the 1989 Batman, Joker says if you could see the inside he’s crying. How often do we wish we could take off that mask? How often do you want to scream the truth to the world? Well, I am here to tell you, that’s exactly what you need to do. When you are feeling weak and you don’t know how to take another step, you have a choice. You can sit there and say nothing, and be miserable, or you can reach out to a Christian brother or sister and confess your sins, confess what’s on your heart, and then you give them the opportunity to he of help, be Christ’s love. James 5:16“16 [a]Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, [b]fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” When we hold our troubles in, we do two things, one, we are alone and miserable in our struggles. Two, we deprive the opportunity for someone to feel useful, to show grace and love which is also a commandment. 1 Thessalonians 5:11“11 Therefore [a]comfort each other and [b]edify one another, just as you also are doing.”

 The Devil is always on the prowl, and is always attacking. Even though we are only passing through this foreign land, we must stand tall and be one another’s help. If we had a relationship with our brothers and sisters like Forrest Gump, and Bubba, we’d all be in a better place. The scene where they are sitting in the mud together, and they sit back to back so neither had to lay in the mud, that’s the relationship we need to have with one another. Never underestimate how even the smallest of gestures may go a long way to making someone feel loved and wanted. We all need to remember most importantly that people will not always be exactly what we want or need. We are bound to get hurt, and suffer disappointments when we put our faith or hopes in people. It’s in Jesus Christ we must focus our hope and Love. Of course we must love our neighbors as ourselves, but understand that we too will someday let someone down. We too will make mistakes and bring pain to those we love. All we can really do is be the best we can be and pray for forgiveness when we fall short. Don’t hide the tears on the inside, be courageous and trust in someone to help you in your time of need.

 

 

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Surgery, What Surgery?

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Surgery, What Surgery?

It’s been a year, but it hardly seems like it. With so many things different now then they were a year ago, it’s hard to believe it’s been that long. My recovery from a C5/C6 spinal injury and surgery has been slow, but in that year I have grown. I push myself and although there is a consequence, I decided early in my recovery I didn’t want to allow my injury to define me. Yes, there were things that changed forever, and I would always have difficulty doing certain physical activities, but I have come farther then I imagined in a year. Ironically, as I am at my anniversary I am starting physical therapy once again.

In a year since my surgery I have learned how to surf, I have rope climbed, and I have done a 40+ mile bicycle ride on a recumbent trike. I have come far, and I trust that I will continue to grow. I know I wouldn’t be where I am today had I not pushed myself along the way. There have been days when the pain was horrible and I could barely move, and there were days when I felt like I could run a mile. The difference between having pain, and allowing that pain to control you is strength. We must learn that to grow sometimes it means to suffer a little pain but the end result is worth it.

Christ tells us those who will pick up their cross and follow Him will have trials and tribulations. They will suffer persecutions, and will undoubtedly have friends and family turn their backs on you. He tells us that love suffers long, and if we are to love Christ we to must endure the sufferings because we are just ambassadors in this land. This is not my home. My home is a Heavenly one, and to get there I walk in a land that is not my own, amongst a people that will undoubtedly hate and despise me. The beautiful thing about human beings is also the most heartbreaking thing, free will. Although my options were limited when it came to my surgery, I still had a choice. I could have done nothing and likely died of meningitis, or I could have the surgery. While it doesn’t seem like much of a choice, I could have chosen death.

In the last year I have made the choice to become much more active with the Wounded Warrior Project, in which I’ve posted about extensively. During those times I was given the distinct pleasure of meeting some amazing people, amazing veterans, and I’ve made some wonderful friends. It all started with a choice to take a chance and move out of my comfort zone. I made the choice to go on my first adventure to South Carolina and that trip changed my life. Before my South Carolina trip I went on a non WWP trip to Hawaii. I would say that trip set the tone for me to explore beyond the walls of my house. I watched as I pushed myself just months after surgery to do things I never thought I’d be able to do again. I explored my ability and found I am capable of far more then I ever gave myself credit for. A capability that without doubt has been a gift from God.

In the last year I had surgery, I moved out of my house, I lost my job… twice, due to my injury. I got divorced, yet I’m still friends with my ex. I have continued with this Blog, and now I’m back in school. Beyond all of that I am looking at my future plans within the church and continuing my biblical studies accordingly. While my career has not advanced, and I’m not living where I’d like, I feel I am exactly where I am meant to be. I also feel I’m doing exactly what God wants me to do. I have faith in my Heavenly Father, and I know that regardless of my injuries, my status, or where I live, I will be used to further glorify my Father and bring honor to his most Holy of Names. Jesus Christ has saved me time and again and I shall continue to try and be contempt in where I am. Like Paul before me, I had my own Damascus road. I can’t simply go back and undo what happened to me. I know I must continue to push through my physical and emotional pains, and find strength in my own weaknesses through Christ my Savior. No matter how low your life looks, just know that it won’t always be that way. There is always hope. On the 3rdday scripture says He rose again. The disciples before that were hopeless, they felt lost, as most of them questioned who Jesus was. He rose again, and thus proved forever who he was, and settled the word as stone. Have faith and for every season, times will move forward. Don’t loose hope because Christ is with us always till the day we are called away from this land, then we shall finally go home and truly sit with the King.

 

PSA: I will be away for a few days, and thus, this will be the last post till I return. As always, you can email me if you need anything, or you can post your prayer request on the prayer request page. Go forth and look into your life and see how God is using you, using your gift to spread the love and Gospel of Jesus Christ. Don’t let whatever is holding you back keep you from your purpose. God has created each and every one of you with a mission and know that so long as you trust and have faith in God you can do anything. Keep fighting the good fight, and I look forward to posting on Monday…. Or Tuesday.

Frustrations

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Frustrations,

We cannot walk through life without running into a few challenges. We cannot expect to never face the rain. Someone said to me once, ‘when it rains, some people feel the rain, others just get wet.’ I think one of the hardest things we will do as people is embrace the trials with an open mind and using that big beautiful brain God gave us to focus on the positive things even in the worst situations we find ourselves in. Galatians 6:9  “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” Feelings of doubt and frustration are natural and normal to have. We all have our tough days, and I’ve had my fair share lately. What’s important is not that you have them, but that you are able to make your way through as a Christian, and keeping your witness. John 16:33“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” The trials come, and come with a vengeance sometimes. It’s aright to feel frustrated, and even angry sometimes. It’s okay to vent as long as it’s controlled. Most importantly when you’re struggling make sure to take your concerns to the one who can truly do something, God.

As far as everyone else is concerned, when you see your brothers and sisters struggling be sure to help them. Be sure to provide encouragement, and love. It’s not easy going through trials. We all have, and we all hope to have someone to lean on when the going gets tough. Don’t be that friend that casts blame, or rebukes someone for being, ‘negative.’ One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone says you’re being too negative. Discussing trials, and struggles isn’t negative it’s a fact of life. Everyone goes through tough seasons, bad storms, and everyone deserves to have someone to listen, someone who will care, and help them through it. Don’t abandon those in need because if you do, you’re actually the one in sin. Proverbs 27:10“Do not forsake your own friend or your father’s friend, And do not go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity; Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother far away.” So many people today want only the feel good positives in their lives, and often try to remove anyone who is going through a tough time in fear they may be contaminated by negativity. The truth is, while some people are more prone to being negative and that may not be an undesirable trait, we must look at a person’s situation and ask how we’d feel in their shoes.

For me, I lost a lot of friends after my ex-wife left. I was miserable for a few months and struggled to stand on my own two feet. I was devastated at the loss of my wife, and the incident which put me in the hospital. I had guilt, shame, heartbreak, worry, and a slue of other emotions, and when I wasn’t ‘snapping out of it’ in others perceived time table, I was abandoned by many. My life at that time mirrored the life of Job. Many of my situations were similar, and as I continued to struggle and limp along, many of my pastor friends pointed me to the book of Job, and the trials of Paul. To this day many of my works would involve references of those two men as my inspiration to carry on. Just remember if you struggle as I have, or if you’ve struggled as Job had, and you find yourself alone, forgotten, remember these words. Job 19:14“My relatives have failed, And my intimate friends have forgotten me.” Even when Job was left and forgotten by his closest friends, rebuked, blamed for his misfortunes, he never gave up hope. Job 19:26“26 And after my skin is [a]destroyed, this I know, That in my flesh I shall see God,” He Trusted the Lord, and knew that God would never leave him. We must all trust in the Lord that in all things blessings can be found in every trial, every storm, every heartbreak, and every thorn.