relationships – Page 33 – The Arrow Preacher

Please Don’t Judge Me For My Yesterday, Judge Me For My Today

Matthew 7:1-2 “Judge not, that ye be not judged. ²For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.” We make judgments all the time about people if we mean to or not. There are lots of different types of judgments we may encounter every day. We use judgments because they are shortcuts in life. She’s crazy is a judgment. That’s an awesome job is also a judgment. One of the things we often do is hold onto judgments of people. We condemn them to be whatever we judge them as forever.

Why are we creatures of such negativity? We are negative because it’s the opposite of love. We choose to see the negative because it’s easier. You’re driving home from work and the trip goes great, couple people let you in, and not an issue. Same scenario but instead 3 people cut you off and make you slam the breaks. How long will you be bothered by the second version, best guess is at least a while. If someone makes a mistake they are more likely to have that check against them and it would be more prevalent then if that person has a line fun of positive things. Sadly for many it seems, we are doomed to never escape our mistakes or shortcomings.

In my life I’ve made some huge mistakes, and it seems the memories of people is considerably longer then I remember it being. No matter how far we’ve come since then someone will always hold that mistake against you. No matter how much good you do, or how much positivity in your life, someone will always remember that 1 bad time, especially if it’s a big one. God wants us to forgive and move on. God doesn’t want us to judge one another. Luke 6:37 “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:” When we hold someone accountable for a mistake in our personal lives, and no matter what they do they can’t get out from under it, you are not truly forgiving them.

Sadly people won’t let go of the past. People won’t biblically forgive you. This message isn’t really for those who have lived a perfect life, it’s for the ones who’ve made mistakes, the ones who’ve sinned and pray every day for forgiveness of it. The Devil wants us to fracture our relationship with God. Sometimes the Devil will try to attack us directly by pulling on our sinful desires, but when they fail the Devil tries the only other trick there is, attack us through our loved ones. Life gets tough sometimes and when it does that’s when we need the Armor of God more so then ever. I was told something for a long time. “Life’s tough, get a helmet.” That’s the truth and when we think of our helmet we know there is such a helmet we can don. Ephesians 6:17 “And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:” We cannot let the Devil inside our heads. We cannot fall pray to self pity, doubts, self loathing, self esteem problems, all of these things are the Devil manipulating you. Protect that brain bucket, by protecting it from all the incoming shrapnel the Devils tossing at as. The Devil will turn your friends on you, you will loose people you care about, you will be lied to, you will be forever reminded of the mistake you try so hard to forget. You continue to wear that armor and never let the Devil inside your head.

Don’t listen to the lies of the Devil. Don’t let anyone hold you back from being on the right path with Christ. When we repent of our mistakes we are forgiven and it’s in the past. 1 Corinthians 13:5 “Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;” Thinketh no evil to me means two things. 1^st is it doesn’t keep score of the wrong your partner has done. 2^nd is it doesn’t plot of doing wrongful things, i.e. adaultry for the one you love. Don’t let someone else keeping score bring you down. You will suffer long as a Christian, you will suffer for doing the right thing. If our Lord and Savior suffered at the hands of the cross, what little suffering we go through seems insignificant to that of an innocent lamb who was sacrificed for me.

It’s hard to be kicked when you’re down. When you loose something you cherished, and then over time you loose one friend after another, just remember the suffering of Job. At the end even his friends rebuked him blaming him for his own crucible. Remember it’s easier to recount the bad then the good. Have faith in the Word of God and when you are suffering, when you feel like all your friends are turning their backs on you, know that God won’t.

A prayer to my Lord.

Lord, please forgive me for my transgressions. Please release me of my guilt and allow me to fully repent for my wrongdoing. Lord please bless me with friends who will understand and who will stand by me, but if they don’t, pray for them. Know they no not what they do. Lord you are the only one who can Judge me. Lord please shield me from the Devils tricks and lies. Lord please bless those who come to my aid when I am that stranger on the road. Lord please allow my armor to protect me in all ways from the attacks of the Deceiver. Lord bless my loved ones, my friends, my neighbors. Lord grant me peace in my time, grant me a time of bliss when it suits your time. Lord give me the grace of understanding and patience to your masterpiece of a plan which is my life. Lord please allow my transgressions to be within short term memory of those who would use it against me. Let me therefore be judged in the actions I do today, and not those of the past. Allow people to see the man I am now, and not which I was before. Amen

The Absence of Manners and Accountability

When you’re trying to get back out there and meet new people after a divorce it can be tough. The world’s a different place now then what it was 15 years ago. This new age of mini computers seconded as phones, Internet accessibility, apps a dime a dozen at the app store, and texting. We’ve become a culture of faceless conversations if we have conversations at all. We abbreviate everything, we no longer use complete and accurate sentences, and worst of all it appears we no longer know how to make a conversation work, even if it’s just small talk.

I’ve noticed that when you are trying to get to know someone, or at least when I’m trying to get to know someone, I tend to ask a lot of questions. Their likes, dislikes, and favorites of whatever I can think of. I’ll ask a ton of questions, but I notice I’m not being asked anything. A few thoughts run through my head. Are they interested? They don’t care to know the small stuff, or the art of communication is dead.

There may be another possibility all together, manners and accountability. Do we forget that the people on the other side of the phone are people? We don’t have a connection with them, we’ve never met them, we’ve never seen them, so if we just drop them, that’s it, they’re gone. There’s no accountability for it because all you have to do is block a number, and soon they fade out of memory all together. Oh I’ve gotten every manor of excuses regarding long periods of absence. I was busy however is the most common. The idea of busy doesn’t escape my thought. Perhaps they are busy. Too busy to send a 10 second text to say you’re busy? See there in lies the lack of manners. It’s just rude behavior. Years ago, I was taught when I received a letter it was rude not to reply. It’s the same if someone gets you a gift, you reply with a thank you card. During Christmas or weddings, thank you cards are very common, but more importantly known as proper etiquette. It seems this is a lacking part of human society today.

The result of leaving someone high and dry can be hurtful for them. No matter the circumstance, when you leave someone without warning, without apparent provocation, it’s easy for that person to become self conscious, asking themselves what they did, was it something they said, did someone better come along? Sadly these thoughts and feelings have come to the surface for me. After the divorce I became much more noticeable when people drop off for months on end. The part that hurts the most is when it’s in the middle of a conversation. They see the message, you know they have, and then all of a sudden they are gone. Maybe it’s a character flaw I need to work on, but I find that to be very rude. I know a lot of people that do it often, and I’ve met new people that do it and they are gone forever.

I think part of the big problem is conflict. It’s easier to walk away and leave someone with questions, then be honest and have a real conversation. I think people run away at the first word that they don’t care for. Have we really become so sensitive? No matter the ups and downs in life we should be kind and respectful. We never truly know the impact we have on someone, and if we only get to give them a snapshot of who we are, make the best impression you can. I respect someone so much more that responds with a message saying I’m not his or her type, rather than be ignored. Being ignored by friends is so much worse though. I get it people you’re busy, you have lives, and it would be somewhat alright if you only did it once in a while, but people that do it all the time, well that’s different.

Just be nice and respectful, really it’s not that hard. With the wide-open world at our fingertips, we can look over the world and pick and choose what we want. That doesn’t give you the right to be cruel, or inconsiderate. If you have the power to make someone’s day a little brighter, or at least leave them with a good impression, be a good Christian steward. If we are to love our neighbors as Christ commanded then if we are all one body, then treating someone with disrespect or being inconsiderate is like treating yourself that way. Fruit for thought.

For me, the technology created an outlet. Growing up how lonely and miserable I was I wished I could connect with more people. Sadly it’s a good and bad thing at the same time. As I myself spend a lot of time alone by sheer happenstance, I find the possibilities endless, which is great, till you get let down. Double the potential, double the potential for failure also. Really what it comes down to is priority. What we do in our lives and where people rank, or even things. It’s easy to forget the positive impacts simple gestures can have on people, and not knowing the baggage or burdens someone carries, how badly our actions can hurt someone, albeit unintentionally.