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I’m Afraid

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I’m Afraid

I’m afraid of what tomorrow will bring. I’m afraid of my failures, and I’m afraid of my future. I’m afraid I will not be loved again, and that I will not obtain my desires of a family. I’m afraid I will fail in my goal to finish college. I’m afraid of being alone, and never getting out on my own. The failures in my past ring loudly in my ears. My wheels spinning in the mud, unable to get traction I feel stuck. I feel as if I’ve become paralyzed by the fear in my life. I feel my failures mounting higher and higher and I feel as if I’ve lost so much and I’ve fallen so far, I often question if I can ever get back what I’ve lost. More then getting back what I lost, I question if I deserve to get back what I’ve lost.

Fear is a normal, it often protects us from harm, but fear can also be used as a weapon. I don’t feel like I am good enough most days. I am trapped in my memories of what I’ve lost. I’m trapped and I know fear is holding me back robbing me of my tomorrow. Tomorrow seams so far and in my mind it’s a monster, filled with rows of teeth, claws and a bark that shakes my very core. Can I go through that kind of pain again? Can I open myself up and take a chance like that again? With the fear flooding my emotions, I feel paralyzed most days. I want to stay in the house, I want to run and hide away from the world ashamed of my very public failure. How can anyone ever love me after the last two years? The truth will set you free, if you only choose to believe in it. The world is a cruel and sometimes unforgiving place. The whole of our society is determined to beat you to the ground. Fear as I mentioned can be a good thing, but when you’re afraid like that, it’s the Devil trying to keep you down. When you feel the fear building, Psalms 34:4 “I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Fear is a weapon of the Devil to keep you subdued, to keep you from the grace of the father. Proverbs 29:25 “The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.”

Though I am afraid I must not let fear control me. I must continue to fight the Devil and not fall to his flaming arrows. I must fight back and harden my mind against his attacks. The fear I have stays with me, but I fight the good fight every day. Psalm 23 “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.”

Fear has often been a challenge for me. Ever since I was young I always felt as if I wasn’t good enough. That my physical looks weren’t good enough for people. The bullying I faced as a child was ruthless and left me damaged. The losses as an adult amplified those feelings of inadequacy and I have been an easy target for the Devil. My faith has kept strong, and as I continue to move forward, I often hear the whispers from the darkness calling my name. I was shattered, a thousand pieces, broken down and bleeding on the floor. I’ve been gluing the pieces back together, but the heart still hurts.

When I close my eyes I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I find myself thinking of the songs that have touched my heart. The healing power of music, it fills my heart and reminds me of the Lord and savior who’s always with me. I pray to God to take away my pain, who gives me my joy, and protects me when I cry. The storm comes to everyone, no matter who you are. All we can do is trust in the Lord to see us through. We are held by a Savior, and we have to have faith in our foundation that can’t be shaken. We can all thank God that our yesterday’s gone, and looking forward to tomorrow, we don’t have to go backwards. Praise God in the storm, and know that wherever you were yesterday, tomorrow is a choice. When we are broken down, when we are shattered on the floor, let the healing hand of God put us back together. Put your prayers to work, and put your boots on the floor and start walking. We’ve been washed by the blood and we are made new, we can stand up and watch the fear be washed away. 2 Corinthians 7:1 “Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God.” If we try to walk this world alone, and we find our self tired of being solo, it’s time to put our faith in God and trust that God’s in control not the Devil. If we remember who’s on the throne and remember that nothing that happens to us in this world can take our salvation from us the rest is just fluff.

Our own fears although they may be very real, are something for us to control and concur. Fear as I said can be a great tool to warn us of danger, to keep us pushing forward when we need to. We can’t allow fear to run our life. We must stand tall on God’s word and fight the fear that floods our hearts. While I fight my own fear, and my own negative judgments of myself, I know the journey isn’t one to be finished overnight. I know that the road is long, and it’s hard. Colossians 1:11-12 “11 being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, 12 and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.” In the darkest of nights, the fiercest of storms, when it seems like you’ll never see the dawn of another day, just when you think you can’t take another step, the Lord will pick you up and keep you safe. Trust in the Lord and remember, you’re child of the one true King. You’re special in the eyes of the one who created you, and you will inherit the kingdom of Heaven. We have already defeated death, all we have to do is live.

 

 

 

 

 

Our Time

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Our Time

When the morning sun rises over the horizon and you see the first rays of light, you don’t often question if it’ll be your last. We live by the minutes we have, but we rarely put thought into the actual thought of living. When you look at the sunrise and think how beautiful it is, or how you see the person you love, we don’t wonder if it’s the last time. There was a day so many years ago now, which brought all these questions to mind. As time has moved passed I often forget how quickly that life can be. In just a fleeting moment the world as we know it can be rocked by change, and how we are forever changed. As we wake this morning and we go about our day, for me today is a reminder to be vigilant in my thoughts. We suffer so much pain, and we suffer so much loss, but when we forget to live, that’s the true tragedy. How do we honor the dead? We honor the dead by fighting. We honor the dead by living, and to do so with thought. We cannot just wake up every day and exist, that we must truly live our lives. The day will come when we are called home, but if that day is not today, we must live life with zest. We must open our eyes every morning, and be grateful to the one who gives life. We live this life and this is our time, but it’ll never come again.

When the days are numbered, how can we say we lived our life? Will we count our days by missed opportunities? Will we count them by the number of lives we touched? Will we count them by the number of lives we destroyed? No matter the form of measurement in your life, be sure to live your life for the moment. Be sure that in that moment, the fleeting moments we are here, make a difference. Live a life that is full of love and a life that is pleasing to God. Be a beacon of hope in a world full of darkness. Live your life in the light so others can see. We only get one shot at life, and we never know when the day our ticket gets punched, so live every day with the heart for God. Live every day loving your friends, loving your family. Live every day with the thought, tomorrow may not come. Don’t live out your days thinking ‘I thought I’d have more time.’ Today is the day you have, and tomorrow isn’t promised.

John 10:7-15 “7 So Jesus again said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. 8 All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9 I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. 11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. 13 He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. 14 I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep.”

We are the lost sheep living this life, and a shepherd came to give us hope. In that hope we now live, no longer in the darkness, but the light of the world. Although we live dust to dust, we are more then the sum of our flesh. We have the living waters that flow over our hearts when we open them to the Lord. Genesis 3:19 “By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” No longer are we here to live and die, but instead we are here to live and live. We live this life so one day we can live in eternal life. Ecclesiastes 3:20-21 “All go to one place. All are from the dust, and to dust all return. 21 Who knows whether the spirit of man goes upward and the spirit of the beast goes down into the earth?” We are given the choice of how we want to live, and in that choice so shall we be judged.

Today as I remember the dead, I recall the valley, which I gazed upon. I saw the face of evil and I will forever remember the horror, which lives in the hearts of man. The ability to take life, to extinguish a child of God, with no remorse or conscious, is truly a terrifying place. To witness such evils, reminds us that though Christ died to break the bonds of death, we still fight for the souls of the living. Not all who live shall live, and all the while not all that die shall die. If you are to live, live for love, live for Christ, and in Christ love all. Love all who live and pray for those whom you love, but in turn, pray for those whom wish to do hate. As it is said, love the sinner, and hate the sin. Today which is a day to remember, I pray for the souls of those who sought to do harm, and I pray with forgiveness in my heart, yet a prayer of God’s righteous vengeance. For it is not my place to judge the living, nor is it my place to judge the dead, but to love and pray for both. Romans 12:19 “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” I place my belief upon the Lord, and I pray for those who have trespassed against me, and I pray for my own heart that it be healed in my time of pain. I pray that I shall find peace in the knowledge that vengeance is not of my own hand, but in the hand of the Lord. I pray that we in this life find justice, not vengeance. Deuteronomy 32:35 “To me belongeth vengeance, and recompence; their foot shall slide in due time: for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste.” Justice is restoring balance, and I trust in the Lord, which holds eternal balance in his righteous hands.

 

The Journey

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The Journey

My foot steps onto the path, it’s rocky, and it’s full of leaves and roots. The path is lit, dimly at first, a light in the dark, but far away. I cannot take steps without stumbling. I fall and skin my knees. My hands land on the stone and thorns. I get up and continue walking along the winding path. The fog is thick and though I can see the light, it’s far from me.

As time goes on I begin to find my legs, I begin to see more clearly through the dense wood. The fog lifts slightly and the light begins to shine down more brightly then before. As the time passes the journey becomes easier, the light shines more brightly and no longer wandering in the darkness. The path no longer dark, but the obstacles are larger, more dangerous. The pitfalls come when you feel tired, when you feel weak, the traps set to ensnare you, and make you fail.

The Journey is a long and treacherous road. The path in your early walk with the Lord is dark and can be difficult to walk. The path at first is hard to see and it’s a scary place full of darkness with the imagination running wild on the path. The Devil lurking behind every tree, behind every stone, and never knowing what to expect. As you grow in your faith the path is lit more brightly. The road seems less scary, but the danger actually grows with your faith. See, the thing is, when you are one with the Lord, when you are walking in Christ you’re more of a threat to the Satan’s plans, so he sends the big stuff after you. The Devil wants you to fail, so when you’re doing things the right way, when you’re living after Christ, he tries to knock you down. He’s the thief in the dark. He’s the sickness in your heart. He’s the cruel thing people say. He’s the wife that walks away. The Devil doesn’t want you to stand for God. The Devil wants you to turn on God, turn your back and walk away. When you’re doing things right you must expect the traps to be set, the storm will come while you’re on the path. When the storm comes find your light in the word of God. Find the words and keep them in your heart. Psalm 119:105 “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” The darkness cannot remain in the presence of the light. The darkness will flee and cannot survive the radiance of the Lord. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, 17 that the man of God[a] may be complete, equipped for every good work.” If we take the word of God and we inscribe it to our hearts we will be ready for the day the Devil attacks. We walk in the Lord on the path, and we prepare every day, Joshua 1:8 “This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.” The scripture given to us by God is the light on the dark path. The lantern to shine the way, and the map so keep us traveling north, the word of God is our gift from the Heavens. We should entrust it into our hearts and keep the armor of God always. Joshua 1:5 “No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you or forsake you.”

 We walk in the forest no longer blind, but we can see the world around us. We do not have to be afraid when we travel in the woods, but only prepared. We know the Devil is lurking, and the wolves stalk us ready for us to stumble and fall. Be ready for the day when your attack comes. The more you preach and teach the more the Devil strikes. The day will come when you feel you cannot carry your bag any longer but have faith that in the Lord you will find your strength. In the Lord you will have others to help carry your burdens. When you are weak the Lord will quench your thirst. When you’re tired the Lord will give you rest. When you’re lost the Lord will shine the way. When you’re scared the Lord will give you courage. When you’re sad the Lord will give you His lap and cover you in the wings of the Angels. God will always be exactly what we need, but remember God is Lord over all. God is our Father, and always a Father first. He will scold us when we are wrong, and correct us in our wayward ways. The Father gives us our sight, and shows us the light.

 

 

 

The Sinner’s Hatred

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The Sinner’s Hatred

Sinners have a tendency to hate those they’ve sinned against. Anger or convicted, but you decide which one is it? If you’ve ever been wronged and you’ve tried to share your feelings with the person who wronged you, have you ever been made to feel somehow it was your fault? We often see this as someone makes a large mistake. In my own life I’ve seen how someone can have an affair one of the most awful things you can do to your spouse, and instead of feelings remorse, the person was filed with hate, and cruelty. How quickly the love shared between two people can vanish in an instant. 2 Samuel 13:17-19 “17 Then he called his personal servant and said, “Get rid of her. Put her out, and bolt the door behind her.” 18 (She was wearing a long-sleeved gown. The king’s virgin daughters wore this kind of robe.) So his servant took her out and bolted the door behind her.” Instead of facing the sin Amnon who had lust for his half sister hated her for his sin. Insult to injury as it were.

People don’t want to be wrong, and they certainly don’t like taking the blame for things they’ve done wrong. As the old saying goes it’s easier to hate then it is to love. When we place our desires in the hands of sinful natures the desires become infected and they change. I’ve seen good people, loving people change their personalities overnight. I’ve seen people walk away from the path and the compass that once pointed north, spun out of control and the darkness spread and took over blinding them of the good natured person they once were. People who fall to sin hide from the truth. The sin inside builds and eventually builds upon itself. If it’s not taken care of it spreads in the body, and eventually affects everything we do.

When someone you love attacks you in their own sin, all we can do is remember that sin is like an illness. We must return hatred with love. We must learn to stay calm and learn when to walk away to save face. Sometimes all we can do is pray for our loved one. Pray they find their way back and allow God back into their heart. We need to remember that most disappointment is because we expect too much of people and to little of God. Matthew 18:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” Now it won’t always be that easy. Most people will probably fight you when you point out their sins. If someone fails to listen to you, perhaps you may have better luck with strength in numbers. Matthew 18:16 “But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.”

Knowing and understanding why someone is so mean and cruel sometimes, especially when it’s from someone you care for, doesn’t change how much it hurts. Knowing that hurting people hurt others isn’t going to alter our perception of their actions. I have watched my loved ones turn on me and say and do things I never thought possible. While they have shown the struggle within, ultimately I saw them loose the fight of sin, and succumbed to the darkness. We cannot watch the people we care about succumb to the darkness inside, and succumb ourselves. We must learn to step back and pray for those around us while at the same time protecting ourselves. We cannot be baited by sin into the dark emotions. Fight the darkness by loving. Love others as God so loved you. God’s guidance is eternal, and we must stay on the path of light.

 

Heart Beat

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Heart Beat

It hurts when someone you care about dismisses you and walks away. It hurts when it feels your hearts been shattered into a million pieces. I tell my heart to beat, and I pray for healing from the Lord. I have allowed my heart to be manipulated and I’ve felt as it’s been crushed under the cruelty of one person I’ve cared for. I’ve let them into my life, and I’ve let them hurt me time and again. What kind of fool am I to trust my heart and hope for a change in someone who obviously doesn’t want the warmth and conviction of the Lord. A life that was torn down in a single day, destroyed and buried under the rubble of the palace that once stood. A perfect place it was not, but a home nevertheless. I have tried to move forward, but my instincts were to be there when I was needed. My instincts were to forgive, and offer the benefit of the doubt. How wrong and foolish I was. I attempted to shield my heart, but just the sight of her would be enough to lower those defenses and I was left vulnerable to even the simplest of words. I failed myself, and I have been left with the knife still sticking out of my chest. I was foolish and like a fool who listened to no one, I am left with the shattered pieces crushed under a boot.

If you’re like me and trying to put your life back together after an affair, or divorce, or a loss of a loved one, rest assured though the path is long, the path is hard, there is light on that path. Psalm 34:18 “18 The Lord is near to the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” In all things God can heal. We need to look to the one true King and never place our self worth on those around us. People aren’t perfect and they will fail you. Psalm 71:20 “20 You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again.” No mater how far down you feel, no matter how muddy the waters, the mud and the muck can’t hold you forever. We must dig deep and pull the strength that God sees within us out. We must trust where our strength comes from, the true source of power, the Lord Jesus Christ. We must have faith that in all things God is working to shape us, to guide us, to show us the way. No matter the pain and suffering we may face, the pain won’t last forever.

God will start healing our broken selves as soon as we allow the Spirit into our hearts. God wants to help us, God wants to heal us, but we have to make the first steps. We have to be willing to let that pain go. We have to be willing to free ourselves of that pain. We as people often hold onto that pain, as if it becomes a part of us, who we are. We must learn to let God take our pain, give into that and release everything to God. Don’t hold onto that pain because it grows, and it spreads, and it infects everything. Don’t loose sight of what’s important. 2 Corinthians 4:8-10 “8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.” Truly the only thing that matters is the Love of Jesus Christ who was tortured and hung on a rugged cross for the sins of you and me. He became separated from the God above to receive the full wrath of God and when you talk about that kind of sacrifice, that kind of Love, the pain inflicted by another person doesn’t seem so bad. People are sinful, they make mistakes, they are selfish, and if we are to understand the nature of love, the love of the Lord is a love that is never ending, and it will never fail us. We may never deserve it, and we should have to suffer for our sinful selves, but God’s love and forgiveness is more powerful then anything we could ever imagine. So when you feel as if you’re in pieces on the floor, let God wrap you up in the wings of the angels on high and find yourself being put back together. Have faith and trust in the love that rules on high.

It’s Time To Live Again

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It’s Time To Live Again

As I have struggled to find myself in the last year, I feel I’ve somehow gotten lost in the fog of life. I feel as if my days all blur together, and my nights are filled with less and less restful sleep. While there have been some changes lately, I find myself trying to figure out where to go next in my life. As I have questioned my next step, I have asked God to guide my next steps. As I have attempted to figure out my next steps, I have looked around and although things are tough right now, I’m very thankful to have the blessings I do have. I have a roof over my head, I have food in my fridge, I have a car, I’m debt free, and although my social life is in shambles, I have people to talk to from afar. The blessings I have are abundant, and should not be taken for granted.

We see in James 4:14 “yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” When we become worried for tomorrow, and when it causes the anxiety to raise, we must remain focused on today, the hear and now. Of course we are to dream, and plan, but understand at the route of the day, God’s in control. Matthew 6:34 “34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” While I pray for changes, I understand that nothing will change without some work, and some grace. Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,” Our goals should always be to live our life pleasing to the Lord. Our goals should always be to bring Glory to our walk with Christ.

I find myself in the fog and I hope, no, I long for the day the fog lifts, and I can see clearly again. There are so many things I want for myself, and yet I find myself wondering if I’ll ever get back what I’ve lost. As I have wished for a family, a home of my own, a job that would sustain me, I find myself longing for the life I once had, yet very different at the same time. There are certainly primary characters from the Bible that have made horrible decisions, and have reaped the consequences. While not every bad thing that happens in our life is our own fault, we must learn to turn to God when we don’t know where to go. We must have faith that we cannot control every aspect of our lives. The fog will set, and then when it’s time, it will leave. As long as we can still see the light, there’s always hope for tomorrow. We need to remember where our true strength comes from. Have faith, the fog will lift, and in time, you’ll see clearly. Don’t chase the fog though, learn to live despite the fog. Learn to love despite the pain that can come from loving. Learn to allow God’s grace to be your guiding star and treat others the same.

 

 

 

 

Sin is Coming for You

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Sin is Coming for You

The Devil wants you, He wants you to fall to sin and walk away from Christ. The world that has fallen to sin is always trying to market to you, to draw you into the sin worldview. I like to think this process is much like the marketing in the retail world. Sin is put out there to make you feel good, to release endorphins into your brain, and it like many drugs, is a natural drug released by your body. This phenomenon is found in sex, in drugs, and in many addictions people face. The Devil is the worlds best salesman and he wants to sell you Sin is more fun. The Devil is a master in the art of persuasion. One thing we like to do is say, ‘we can sin now, ask for forgiveness later.’ We think of sin like a credit card. Play now, deal with the weight later, but as sin is much like a credit card, it grows in time, and just like the credit card is has interest. Sin is a quicksand pit, and once we start down that path, as we start to sink in our own sin, we start to panic as we get deeper and deeper. Once we start to panic we begin to sink faster. The lure the Devil wanted all along was to get you into that trap, and watch as you struggle to breath till Sin covers your entire head.

Sin is about your emotional desire. Sin is something that’s specifically targeted to every man, women and child. Sin is now pounded to you in TV, Media, and Movies. In all these things, we are being marketed in the worldview of Sin, so now we know and realize what Satan’s doing, how do we fight back? Satan has been studying us for generations. He’s been learning how best to market sin to us. He is the worlds first salesman, and he’s very good. We must first realize what’s going on in our culture. We must realize how we are being marketed to, and realize what the sin is, and how do we fight back. Satan has a wonderful sales pitch that removes the remorse of our sin nature. If you’ve ever sinned and after you’ve sinned you feel awful, that’s your conviction setting in place that you know you’ve done wrong. Satan has been busy in the last few thousand years making that sin seem normal by selling us Sin is normal, and EVERYONE DOES IT! If everyone sins, if random sex is something everybody does it’s normal. If society says that going into credit debt is normal because that’s just the way it is, we begin to believe that sin is just a way of life, and these things are alright because we have a ‘get out of jail free card from Jesus’s sacrifice. The blood spilt on the cross doesn’t mean we can sin and sin and never have to answer for those sins. The bible states that every sin will be answered for at the foot of the cross. James 2:10 “For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.”

We need to learn to be happy and content where we are with what we have. We chase that good feeling and most of the time that happiness is found in Sin but it’s not real. We are chasing fun, and we find fun in sin. Happiness is found in the contentment in whatever situation we find our self. When we chase the next greatest thing and we never appreciate what we have, it will never be enough. Some people are like this in relationships. They chase the excitement, and the endorphins in the relationship. It’s great for a little while, but when it wears off, and it begins to look like work, they run away to the next ‘greatest’ thing. The grass is always greener on the other side. Those who think money can buy happiness is sadly and sorely mistaken. Money buys fun, not happiness. People are going to come to you and try to get you to sin right along side them. People will try and convince you that it’s better to live in fun, and it’s not hurting anyone. People who have embraced sin will always try to bring others into that sin. No matter what that sin might be, there will always be repercussions. If you’re not careful you can get caught under the net of sin, unable to escape. The sin that is in your life will ripple outward from the point of impact like an asteroid hitting the ground. We don’t need that fallout in our life. Sin can build upon sin, and soon you can be breathing in the radioactive fallout.

The Devil doesn’t want you to tell your friends no, you’re not going to engage in the active sin. If you’re walking in the light of Christ, you will have to tell people no. You’ll have to forgo going out with your friends sometimes because of what they want to do. I’m not saying don’t have fun, but make sure the fun you’re having is good Christian fun. I’m not saying you can’t have a drink or two, just not to be a drunkard. You need to be a good stewards of your grace. Grace from God is a gift. We never know how much time we have and we don’t want to be caught under that sinful debt when the Day of Judgment comes. Judgment will come one day, and we may not expect the moment it comes. Learn to say no, learn to walk away, and learn to use the Shield of God. The glory of God is far more important than the momentary satisfaction in sin. No random hookup or drugs, or addiction is worth being buried in sins debt. It’s important to realize it’s important to take our sins to the Lord when we do, and to ask for repentance when we seek forgiveness. While we will always be forgiven by God we are God’s children and when you’re bad we must expect that there will be some form of punishments. God loves us, but discipline is the job of any good parent. Sin, is us breaking the rules, and rules must be followed, and when we go against the rules, rest assured, the punishment will come back to you. It may not happen that day, but it will. To quote the movie Dr. Strange, “The bill comes due.”

Confronted with Sin

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Confronted with Sin

Have you ever made a mistake and did something awful? Have you ever had your mistake pointed out to you and you became defensive, or angry? At some point we’ve all sinned. At some point we’ve all made some sort of mistake. The thing with sin, is, it’s never a victimless crime. Sin is like throwing a stone into the water, it resonates, it ripples throughout the calm water and affects not just where the stone entered, but now everything around it. If we aren’t careful sin can always be justified, and if we can gray an area, we will slowly kick that line down the road as we walk slowly into the darkness. In 2 Samuel we see the rape of Bathsheba, a sinful desire that led David down a horrible dark path. From rape, came conspiracy, came murder. All the while that Sin was watched by David’s eldest son, Amnon. Amnon began feeling lustful towards his half sister. He lured his half sister into his room, and when she protested to laying with him, he took her by force. We see in 2 Samuel 13 how once he was done his ‘love’ which was actually lust, turned to hatred. This hatred led to Tamar’s disgrace, and one man’s sin led him down a path that would end his own life. Sin is a snowball that grows upon itself. Sin at the foot of the cross is equal. Sin builds and as it grows if left unfettered can become crushing.

I have watched as people I have loved turned to a life of sin, and in that sin the ripples of one action would lead to an entire collapse of nearly every part of a life built. When we sin and we fail to acknowledge that sin, when we try to ignore it, we are more susceptible to further sinful actions. Proverbs 17:19 “Whoever loves transgression loves strife; he who makes his door high seeks destruction.” When we are confronted by our sins when we love that sin we can become hostile, and cruel. People who love that sinful desire will do anything to be free of conviction. Conviction is an internal battle of conscience. When what we know to be right inflicts with our desires we fight back, we lash out. We hurt those who love us, and we often find ourselves hurting ourselves. It’s not easy fighting back against the sinful desires, but if you are the one doing the sin, remember God’s grace. If you are the one being sinned against, remember God’s love and forgiveness. Neither position is easy, and in both positions people get hurt.

I hate that I have lost someone very close to me over and over because of Sin. I hate they are walking a path of darkness. As I have watched their one choice slowly destroy everything they had, I can’t do anything but watch and pray. Even as I have been hurt time and again, all I can do now is pray for them, and hope for the best. I don’t like to close a door on them, but at some point I need to learn to protect myself from harm. I can’t exactly say I’m okay, but I can safely say I will be. Living in a world of sin isn’t easy. There are wolves in sheep’s clothing all around us. There are sinners everywhere and even as we are sinners also, there are some people who thrive on hurting others. We have to find a way to minister to the sinner, while holding ourselves accountable to our own sin. Accountability for sin isn’t supposed to be comfortable. The sinner will often try to remain in that sin because it ‘feels’ good. Sadly, for those of us on the outside, we’re the ones left being pushed away, yelled at, hurt, and yet it’s our place to be patient, to be loving, to be forgiving, and continue to preach and teach the word of the Lord.

 

What I Believe

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What I Believe

I never anticipated what would happen to me after I started to preach the word of God but never the less I wasn’t prepared for the attacks that would come my way. The attacks would come and I know I wasn’t emotionally ready to respond because when they came I would take them personally as if it were me they were attacking. In the most recent attack on my faith I was called a bigot, close minded, ignorant foot. I was called an intolerant idiot with the IQ of an ash tray. Anyone who actually knows me knows this is the farthest thing from true. The truth is, I was judged solely on being a Christian nothing more. I was attacked because of my faith in God, my following of Jesus Christ, and that I do this publicly. Of course with taking my faith so very public backlash was bound to happen, however, I never readied myself for it. The punch was that straight to the gut, and I felt as if my stomach dropped to the floor. Now as I’ve spent time visiting my own emotions, my own positions, I felt it would help me best to put them into words, and evaluate them on ‘paper’.

The important thing about my faith is that I believe in the living God. I believe that God is sovereign over the universe and that the blood shed on the Cross was the outpouring of God’s wrath. This split the divide and broke the bonds of sin that would lead to eternal damnation. This sacrifice of Christ gave us the New Covenant, at the very basic level, it returned hope to those without. This belief has led me to know all people regardless of ethnicity, place or origin, or even their personal beliefs, that at the foot of the cross we’re all equal. No matter what others think, or what their religious or political views are, treating everyone with kindness, and respect is at the forefront of importance. Jesus Christ regardless of his disagreement with the Sanhedrin always showed respect even in the face of adversity. Respect doesn’t mean you don’t disagree, or even that you talk about the area in which you disagree, it’s how you do it. Violence begets violence, and when you sew dissention in the heart of an already tense situation, stress, and tension will rise, and the battle for enlightened conversation is already lost. Problems within our lives are best handled with a calm tongue, an open mind, and above all else, love in your heart.

In all my time in this life, I’ve never been called a racist, or a bigot, or hateful in any way, till recently. I’ve always tried to keep an open mind to the points of view of others, to hear them out. Within the last few weeks however, those who claim to be respectful of the lives of others have attacked me in my positions. I cannot change the opinions of others, nor am I trying to. I will continue to preach the word of God regardless of the attacks that are taken out on me, and regardless of those who find it fit to not have me in their lives, I will endure these attacks.

Be kind to those in your orbit, and go forth with respect. Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Go forward in your day spreading love not hate. We will always have a difference of opinions, that doesn’t mean we have to be hostile in our speech, and our positions. And involving social media, think about what you post and how it may add fuel to the fire. Just be courteous. Have faith that no matter what the situation is, God is in control, and will find a way to glory every event, no matter how gruesome it may seem. God’s in control yesterday, today, and tomorrow, so don’t give up hope. Pray about all things and in all things God’s still working.

 

Ask Not What God Can Do For You, Instead Ask What You Can Do For God

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Ask Not What God Can Do For You, Instead Ask What You Can Do For God

When we drop to our knees and pray for our troubles, or our healing, do we ever think to ask God what we can do for Him? Our relationships seems to be one sided pretty often. I know a large number of Christians who don’t evangelize, they don’t even spread the Gospel to friends and coworkers where they can. God has asked very little of us, and even though it’s not much, we still cannot bring ourselves to follow God’s will. We are told to love God, and to go forth and spread the word of God. How can we expect to have God’s grace if we aren’t good stewards of what we’ve been given? Matthew 28:18-20 “18 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

I myself have often found myself on bended knee asking God for this and that. I’ve begged for grace, and for significant change in my life. I’ve often found myself focused on what I’ve been asking of God, but I have failed to consider that I may not be doing enough for God. I have been thinking about JFK’s speech nicknamed the Ask Not speech. We are the heirs to the kingdom of Heaven. We as a society have allowed our Christian voice to fall to the wayside. We no longer stand up preaching the Gospel, or evangelizing within our own spaces. “United there is little we cannot do, in a host of cooperative ventures. Divided there is little we can do, for we dare not meet a powerful challenge.” (JFK) As a Christian faith we now find ourselves divided as we rewrite the Gospel, as we preach only bits and pieces. We have forgotten about the great commission, and we no longer keep the Gospel in our very hearts. I hear many people claim to be Christians, yet don’t know scripture. I know many Christians, yet walk a life of the world, and not one in the Lord. Those same people beg God to save them when things get tough. We have spent years walking away, and it won’t change overnight, but we must learn to change, learn to turn around and walk back towards God. “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world, ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man!” (JFK) There comes a time when we must take our concerns to the foot of the cross. “How am I supposed to show love to somebody over and over and over who constantly rejects me?” (Fireproof) Have we truly gotten to a point in our life when we reject Christ? Have we come to a point where we only follow God if we get something out of it? Have we gotten to a point where we walk our own way because we think we are better then God? I think we have. I believe we have a fight ahead of us, and it’s with ourselves. We have walked our path in the darkness, and we’ve expected to be given grace when we don’t show it. I would surmise we are exactly the things we complain our spouses, our friends are towards us. We are stubborn, we are ungrateful, we are foolish, we are foolish, and we are hateful towards the one that matters most, God. We expect to be given rewards because of the works we do. We expect to be given the joys in this world based on the nice things we do for others, that we think our works on this planet means we deserve God’s love and grace. We will never be able to do enough to earn our way to Heaven. “God loves you even though you don’t deserve it, rejected him, spat in his face. God sent Jesus to die on the cross and take the punishment for your sin because he loves you.” (FireProof)

When we truly look at how we are treat God in our lives, I think most of us would say we all fall short to be deserved of the graces of the Holy Spirit. We are all of us, not worthy of that grace, but because of Love we have it. We will never do enough to earn our way into Heaven. We will never be good enough due to our Sin nature to earn the graces of God. The beautiful part is, we don’t have to. We don’t have to rely on our good works to be granted the graces of the Lord, we just need to give up ourselves and we need to give our hearts to the Lord. 2 Corinthians 12 :8-9 “8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” We must learn that God’s love and grace is sufficient. If we want to be in God’s graces we need to allow God into our hearts. How can we expect to be given the deepest desires of our heart, if we turn our back to God? God’s love is never ending; it’s beyond anything we can ever understand. God’s grace and peace are always with us, we just need to open our hearts to it.

With the Great Commission we are told to go out and spread the gospel to all whom we come into contact with. God has given us the tools we need to do His work. Ephesians 4:11-13 “11 And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds[a] and teachers,[b] 12 to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, 13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood,[c] to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ,” In our walk with the Lord we must always be thinking of how we can better Serve the sovereign of the universe. We must also remember to give thanks for all we have. Many people only go to the Lord in prayer when they are in need, but fail to thank God for the little stuff. I have gotten into the habit of praying multiple times a day. Although I sometimes struggle with my prayers to my Heavenly Father, I have to catch myself in my asking for prayers and then wondering what I’ve done to deserve them to be answered. Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” When we the faithful hold true to the faith, and can understand the give and take from God, we will understand that we owe everything to God. It’s in that love from God we understand that we will never be deserved of the grace in which has been given to us.

The Devil preys on those who struggle and those who stumble. It’s much like the cheetah and the gazelle. Although the cheetah is much faster, it’s only when the gazelle makes a mistake that it’s caught. Although the Devil is in our lives every minute of every day, when we remain focused in our walk with God, and keep the Armor secured and tight, will we be able to make it through. Even if we are caught from time to time, the sword and the spear gives us the tools to fight back. As long as we continue to fight back against the raging storms, light will always snuff out the darkness. We must remember we are soldiers for Christ and we must always remain vigilant. Those who walk in the Lord will both have the grace of God and will often be more prepared when the Devil strikes. Trust in the Lord and walk as closely as possible. Remember when we ask what we can do for God, the answer will always be “give it your all.” The struggles that may come when you are walking with God may be far greater then you’d realize, that just means you are more of a threat to the Devil. When you are preaching and teaching God’s word, the Devil will try everything to knock you off balance. Psalms 50:15 “And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.” Nothing in this world is free. If we want something we must be willing to give something. What we are asked to give isn’t much, yet possibly the hardest thing to give. We cannot expect to be given the desires of our hearts if we allow our heart to be poisoned by this world. If we allow everything but God into our heart, then the things we ask for might by very definition be apart of the problem. We must learn to trust in God completely, and turn to God every day for both the big and small things in our life. We must turn to God when things are wonderful, and also when things are in shambles. When we realize we are nothing without God, and we have nothing without God, then and only then will we begin to understand the nature of our trials and tribulations. John 5:30 “I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.” Having faith in the Father is just the first step towards an enlightened peace. We must learn to let go of ourselves and submit fully to Abba. When we do that and we are asking God, “what next” then we will see the fruits of our labor. Have faith, and you will receive your desires, but in all things worthwhile it takes work, and effort. Remember though, the desires of the heart may not be what’s best for you. Just because you desire a Ferrari doesn’t means that’s what’s best for you. Unanswered prayers are sometimes a blessing and not a curse. In your life are you willing to give up your sinful self for the love of Jesus Christ?