Tag: prayer

Freedom

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Freedom

Today a weight lifted from my shoulders. The world lifted such a heavy burden today. Months of prayer have finally paid off. I don’t know why it took so long to have this wrap up, to finally be free of my chains, but today was the day.

Anyway we are chained down, we all have trials, and we all have burdens. What is your trouble? What is your own prison that holds your mind, your body behind? No matter what that looks like know that there is always a key to every lock, there’s always a parachute for every jump.

The length of time it takes to overcome a trial, or even the steepness of that mountain to cross doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you can take the step forward, one step after another and continue to push forward till the mission is completed. As a veteran I know the price of freedom is high, but I know that in the pursuit and conquest of peace is one of a driving force intent on success. Some days of course are going to be harder then others. Some days will feel as dark as can be as depressing and bleak then you’ve ever felt.

Carrying a burden and lifting others up is important. Fighting for freedom is a road that will ever be traveled alone. Galatians 5:1 “Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.” Some say freedom is free, but I tend to disagree. I say freedom is won, by the barrel of a gun. The cost of that freedom is high. Men and women die in the pursuit of that freedom. Freedom to be able to face your accuser in a court of law, to being able to vote as young black women. No matter what you are free from, persecution, bondage, finances, and hurtful relationships, anything that essentially holds you prisoner.

Know that prayer is powerful and beyond a doubt a strong weapon in the fight for freedom. John 8:32 “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” I find myself free at last. The last two months have felt crushing and I have never stopped my prayers. Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” No matter the hurt, the pain, the beauty that is to come is there for the taking. Freedom is allowing your voice to be heard.

8 months ago I found a family I never knew I had. Ever since the group walked in my hospital room and I cried, I knew that I would survive and thrive. Your fight for freedom isn’t one you have to have to take alone. Be free of the pain, be free of the worry, and you can find yourself scaling the mountainous dilemma in front of you.

The Monsters in Our Head

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The Monsters in Our Head

They toil and strike, they grind their teeth and they bite and scratch.

They feed and pray, the scared and weak. The attacks and quick and always lethal.

The horns and claws, they attack, so never turn your back.

Red eyes gleam through the night, they always leave you in fright.

The wolves and vultures they circle round and round. Always pray they attack when you’re bound.

Bound by doubt, bound by regret, bound by shame. Bound to a cross the sharks circle beneath. Bound by fear, bound by sadness, bound by loneliness, the blood the smell.

Attack the weak, the monsters seek. The darkness comes, the monsters creep. Around and around they circle and slither, fear and doubt they smell and quiver.

The monsters excite, they drool and they bite. They chomp at each other, who will make the kill.

They crouch to pounce. But the light shines through. Recoil of all, they hiss and cower.

The light shines through, it blinds them all, they scamper and crawl. He light holds power the monster will scour.

Freedom alas, the world in darkness shall pass. The light, the light, where does it come from? The light shines bright, and even with the sight, you cannot see.

The light is bright, and warm, and calm, the monsters are gone.

The light lifts you up, carries you away. The light shines for those who seek.

Refuge for all, all who seek, all who are meek.

Meek before the Lord and call for his name. Jesus is our light, the light of the world.

Jesus the mighty warrior who monsters flee from. Light up the darkness and away they go. The monsters cannot stay, as they wonder to and fro.

“But the LORD is with me as a mighty terrible one: therefore my persecutors shall stumble, and they shall not prevail: they shall be greatly ashamed; for they shall not prosper: their everlasting confusion shall never be forgotten.” (Jeremiah 20:11)

 The Lord, the Lord, saves us all. The Lord the Lord, slayer of terrible beasts that linger in thought. The Lord of all, brings peace upon the whole, the Lord the Lord, saves our soul.

 

The Lost Toy

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The Lost Toy

The toy was new and shiny. The girl who first got this toy love it, treasured it, played with it and kept it for many years. The toy felt loved and needed. The toy noticed over the years it was played with a little less as time continued on. The toy would sit on the shelf longer, until eventually the toy couldn’t remember the last time it had even been touched. The toy felt sad wondering what happened. Why didn’t she come around anymore, why didn’t she play with me anymore. The toy felt horrible just sitting on the shelf gathering dust. The amount of time the toy spent alone went on with no attention was incalculable.

Lonely and alone the toy began to feel nothing. The emptiness the toy felt drifted from emptiness to darkness, and eventually nothing at all. Years would go by and the toy motionless now covered with years of dust the memory of being loved was now almost a dream. Had it actually happened, had the toy actually been played with ever, or was it all just an illusion? The toy wrestled with itself for a long time about its purpose, it’s self worth. The questions would plague the poor forgotten little toy for another few years.

One day the toy found itself in a box, the box was in a car. Where am I going the toy asked? What’s going on the toy said afraid of knowing the truth. The box was taken from the car and placed in the intake room of the local thrift store. There the box lay and the toy waited in the darkness. The toy didn’t wait too long before the light shined through and soon the toy was picked up by a nice older lady. She cleaned the toy up, got the years of dust off and the toy was placed on a shelf right out in front.

It wasn’t more then a day or so before the toy was found by a nice little girl. She picked it up and hugged it close. She begged her mom for it and finally her mom acquiesced. The little girl quickly fell in love with the toy. The toy felt new, revived, and full of joy. Finally the toy thought a fresh life, a new life. It was great to be loved again. The toy no longer felt worthless, the toy no longer felt alone and abandoned. Why didn’t the first little girl want me anymore the toy thought. What happens when this girl doesn’t want me anymore? Will I be abandoned by this girl too? Quickly the toy felt sad. The girl played with the toy every day, yet the toy wasn’t ever satisfied with its new life. Sad and guarded the toy remained.

The girl still loved the toy very much even after several more years. The toy never felt as happy as it once did. Once hurt, once betrayed, once left for dead and forgotten the toy never fully recovered. It enjoyed the time with the little girl. The toy was carried through elementary, kept up and cleaned, adored through the time in high school, and even brought onto college. The toy held on waiting still for day the girl would leave it. The day however never came. The girl loved the toy so much that one day the toy was passed on to the girl’s daughter. The toys care was continued through the daughter. A long happy life the toy should have had.

When we don’t let go of our past what is to be done with you? Proverbs 17:22 “A merry heart doeth good [like] a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” We must learn to let go of our pain, never to hold onto the anger and fear it leaves behind. The pain will never leave completely, but the scars on our hearts can be used as a reminder not of the pain, but that of survival. No matter the good and bad we face we must understand that our story isn’t done being written. We mustn’t pretend to know and understand the workings of God behind the curtain. Romans 12:12 “Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;” We must always rejoice in the grief and the bliss we feel because in all times the God of all watches over us and all we care about. John 16:22 “And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you.” Even though the now might feel forever, the now might feel crushing, we must always remember God will never leave us nor forsake us. If someone decides to leave you, or abandon you, do not put your faith in other people. Put your faith in Christ only. Your self worth must never rely on others. Your happiness should be with God and God only. It is in God that today’s suffering can be removed, and more importantly the suffering of this life when it’s time will pass away. The love of Christ and his perfect Passover sacrifice ensured for us to be able to live a Holy Happy life in eternity. No one can take that from you. Not a parent, not a wife, or husband, not your children, no one but Satan can take away your joy, and Satan can only take away what you allow to be taken. Do not allow Satan to tempt you or pull you away from love. Trust in your Lord the giver of all, and trust that when one love falls away, open your heart to love again. Nothing happens without purpose or reason. I’m sure at some point we’ve all felt alone and lost, forgotten, abandoned by those whom we’ve loved the most. Don’t let your heart be hardened by the decision of another. Don’t let yourself be drawn into the lies of Satan that no one will ever love you as much, want you as much, or give you as much pleasure in your life. Do not find meaning in the hands of others. Satan wants you to doubt yourself, He wants you to question your worth. Once those thoughts take hold there’s no telling how much damage the Devil can do. You are special because God says you are. Praise God because if someone doesn’t want you, know God does, and it’s that person’s loss. For each Yin there is a Yang. For each Bonny there is a Clide. For each Romeo there is a Juliet. When Satan starts to gain ground fall back on one of the greatest fictional characters of all time. Captain Picard. “We’ve made too many compromises already to many retreats. They invade our space and we fall back, they assimilate entire worlds and we fall back. Not again, the line must be drawn here, this far, no farther.” Give the Devil an inch, he’ll take a mile. Don’t fall for the tempters tricks and deceptions. Have faith that God may allow someone to walk away from your life, but in God’s time His will, will be done. We must love ourselves and when we show God what we can handle,  only then when we show God we are worthy of such gifts, when it’s the right time, God will grant us our desires, when and if it’s for our good. Don’t let heartache hold you back from living. Don’t let anything hold you back from living and loving for God!

Breaking Beyond The Past

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Breaking Beyond The Past

A little boy grows up without a father. He’s different then other kids. He has a lot on his plate at a young age but manages to find a way to suppress it. As the kid grows up he suffers much and every day it feels as if the weight of the world is pressing onto his shoulders. What if that past was no longer the weights they once were?

A friend told me recently that a day will come when I can’t let the pain of the past dictate my future any longer. It’s ironic how many times I’ve seen something about someone’s past controlling them today. In my favorite show Arrow the main character Oliver Queen found out some disturbing information about his father. The main antagonist tries to drudge up the past and prove the past not only defines us, but also forces us to repeat the sins of our forbears. Later in an episode of The Flash, Barry Allen’s memories are wiped. He is found to be a happier guy because the pain and suffering of his past no longer haunt him. Joe his foster dad said something along the lines of, without his 28 years of experience he isn’t the same person. In the words of Captain Kirk “Damn it Bones, you’re a doctor. You know that pain and guilt can’t be taken away with the wave of a magic wand. They’re the things we carry with us, the things that make us who we are. If we lose them, we lose ourselves. [to Sybok] I don’t want my pain taken away! I need my pain!” One thing I’ve learned is when you see those kinds of things they aren’t coincidental; they are the little things God puts into our path to help guide us. What does it mean to truly put the past behind you? What do we do when we have to push that pain and darkness behind us?

The darkness within our lives is just as important as the light. We cannot be who we are without the joys and pains in our lives. We cannot be who we are without both because it’s the trials we go through that teach us the most about who we are. Sometimes a tragic event can freeze us in time. Breaking out of that gelatin can be a struggle. Much like quick sand the more we struggle to get out the deeper into despair we sink. So what does it take to drastically alter a persons mindset? More often I’ve found it takes a drastic event to plunge us into despair and something drastic to bring us out. When the world seems at odds with us what gives us the hope and strength to keep moving forward. For me a major life altering event occurred and at the same time I had a come to Jesus moment. Romans 8:17-18 “17 And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. 18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” We suffer today because we are told we would. Knowing we are going to suffer on this world, doesn’t mean it’s easy to bare. 2 Corinthians 1:5-6 “5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 6 If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer.”

We often search for a higher understanding when we hit our lowest. The key to happiness is to search for that understanding even when things are good also. Ecclesiastes 7:14 “In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity consider: God also hath set the one over against the other, to the end that man should find nothing after him.” It doesn’t matter who are parents are, or who they aren’t. It doesn’t matter what horrible things our pasts represent or the horrors in our nightmares, what matters is what we choose to do with our tomorrow. We can choose today to let the past go, and make our tomorrow a wonderful new you. There’s no time like the present to drop the weights off your shoulders and let go of those chains that hold you back. That doesn’t mean that your past won’t always be with you, it just means you won’t let the past dictate terms for your future. In your life you may have encountered people who were naysayers, told you you’d never make it, told you you weren’t good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, and in every way taught you were weren’t enough. This is a lie and it doesn’t matter who says it, it’s the Devil speaking. Psalm 139:13-16 “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”

 We may loose our Canary, but in time, perhaps a new one will take up the mantel of the mask. Lovers can become enemies and friends can become nothing. Strangers can become friends, and unlikely acquaintances can save our lives. In God all things are possible, and all things are possible in time if it’s Gods will. Never forget to pray before every decision and in all things give God the glory.

Broken Arrow

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Broken Arrow

 ‘Because He Lives’ By Matt Maher

I was dead in the grave

I was covered in sin and shame

I heard mercy call my name

He rolled the stone away

 Amen, Amen

I’m alive, I’m alive

Because He lives

Amen, Amen

Let my song join the one that never ends

 

We live because he lives. We can never repay for the harm and damage we’ve done to God all these years. We hurt others and we damage relationships we’ve once cherished and loved. We drove nails into our savior’s hands and feet. We laid a crown of thorns upon his head and mocked him, spit on him, even cast lots for remains of his clothing. The King of the Jews, the soldiers laughed as he slowly asphyxiated. “Tetelestai” Jesus proclaimed which translated means it is finished. Not that he was saying is last, but with his last heartbeat all of mankind’s sins would be forgiven. Christ was the sacrificial lamb, and despite everything we have done, despite everything humanity would do in the future, the atrocities proclaimed in the name of religion, all the pain we would cast upon one another, forgiveness in love was and is the path to an eternity of perfection with our creator.

As an archer I believe strongly in the idea that an arrow is strong, and as true as the archer who shoots it. In the right hands an arrow can bring death and life at the same time. An archer can defend ones home, defend ones kingdom against invaders, and provide needed food for their family. An archer must take care of his bow and arrows in order for them to continue to do what he needs. If an arrow completely breaks there are only some things an archer can do to repair the damage. Damage will come and maintenance and care will be needed to maintain. Our faith is the same way. If we do not maintain our faith, our constant days in prayer, reading and study of scripture, our fellowship with other Christians, we too will find that our faith will break.

A while back someone did something that I felt was a betrayal of the deepest kind. They made a decision for what they must have thought was right, but it hurt me dearly. I thought that friendship, that bond that was shared was stronger then that, but in that moment I felt the stab in the heart on a very arrow I once used. The arrow broke in half, and I believed it could never be repaired. I believed after that kind of betrayal nothing could ever repair the damage. What if I was wrong? It wasn’t about forgiveness; it was about understanding the motive. What if because of my own vantage point I couldn’t see the whole story, what if there was more to it?

What I know is no matter the pain the right thing to do is offer forgiveness. We were never worthy of the forgiveness we were given by Christ, but alas we Live because Jesus Died. No matter what the wound is, forgiveness is about harmony. Matthew 6:14-15 “14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Often I hear people say I forgive you, but I’m still mad at you. I say this isn’t true forgiveness. If you truly forgive someone you hold nothing against him or her any longer. If someone truly repents from then on forgive. Ephesians 4:31-32 “31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Believe though there is a difference between repenting and a sorry. Repenting is taking action to make things right. This to try and ensure the grievance won’t happen again. An apology must be from the heart, not just ‘sorry’ because just a sorry may mean I’m sorry I got caught. What is that apology if the action continues to happen? If someone truly is sorry, and there is real repentance in their heart try to take them at their word. REMEMBER THOUGH, FORGIVENESS DOES NOT REQUIRE AN APOLOGY FROM THE OTHER PERSON!

Don’t let anger and hate break an arrow. Don’t let your personal feelings cloud your judgment. Always keep in mind there are two sides to a story and we may never know all of it. We may never understand the why and the how. Love is the key and love is the answer. Gods love is greater and stronger then we will ever know, and if we are to live Christ Like then we must be able to channel at least a little of that love and don’t allow anger and hate to break any of our arrows. We are weapons for Christ, and in that our arrows are our weapons we use to spread the Holy Spirit in the Word of God. Remember we must perform maintenance on our hearts just like our bow, and when we clear out the imperfections, when we watch for cracks, or damages, we can fix them before they become major problems. No matter how far you’ve gone down a path we can always unmake a mistake by truly repenting in our hearts, and asking for forgiveness. Don’t let fear and doubt keep you from salvation.

I say to you lift your hands to the sky and praise your God and ask for Forgiveness for all you’ve done. Forgive all those who’ve wronged you and hurt you. Go to God with a clear heart, and let the Holy Spirit fill it. There will always be people out there to hurt us, but we don’t have to hold onto that anger that hate. Offer up yourself, and be a warrior for God. Pick up your bow and follow God. Strengthen them with love, hope, forgiveness, and your arrows will never be broken by the Devil.

 

 

 

A Multitude of Sins

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A Multitude of Sins

Here I sit alone in almost complete silence. The teal glow on the wall from the lava lamp, and the glow from the computer screen are the only lights on in the house. There’s no music on, no television, just a fan in the dining room I can hear. The sounds of the keys being clicked own is loud in the silence of the house. Occasionally I can hear one of the dogs yawning, or licking their paw, but it’s quiet.

What do we do when we are alone in the dark, no sounds, just the sound of our own thoughts? Where does your mind take you? Mine takes me to a place darker then that of my home right now, a multitude of sins and mistakes. How did I get here my mind asks. How has my life turned out this way, and where the heck do I go form here? The truth is I don’t know. People ask me every day what’s the plan, where are you going to go, what are you going to do? You see, people that know me best know me as the planner. In an earlier post I talked about your emergency preparedness kit and some of what’s in my hiking bag. For the first time in my life I don’t have a plan. I haven’t had a plan since September 18th 2016. That day all of my sins came to the surface, they came with a reckoning, a force strong enough to knock me off my balance and shake the very foundation in which I built my life. Up till that point in my life I had found myself to be relatively successful. I was happily married, doing well at work, doing great in school, working towards a baby, everything I wanted in life. I had the greatest in-laws anyone could ever hope for, a great sister in law, but fate it seems follows it’s own course, not what we want. In just a matter of a short bit of time everything I loved, the life I spent years building would crumble around me and I would loose everything. The foundation cracked and a cavern opened up under me and swallowed me whole. At the time I felt as if I’d never get out. At the time I felt that my pain, my suffering was the end of me and sadly, wrongly, I felt as if I deserved it. I felt as if my sins were coming back and I had to pay for them. I felt as if I deserved to suffer, to undergo pain and suffering.

A life of trauma built up and tucked away in a nice tidy little closet, away from the world so no one would see. The pain inside buried so deep that the mask I wore every day was good enough to fool even those closest to me. So many times I felt the sorrow the shame bubbling up from the deepest pits within myself, and as skillfully as a superhero beats down a lowly thug, I put that stop in the rising pain, and forced it to return back to the darkest places of my very soul. Compartmentalization is such a wonderful tool when dealing with pain. It can be very helpful as a short term coping mechanism but when used for trauma, the idea is to revisit the trauma soon after the crisis is over, and face the memory head on to come to grips with it. The trouble with that is when the day never comes to revisit, it’s locked away, never forgotten, but never addressed either.

What do we do when the foundation we built our very existence crumbles and falls apart? When our foundation is not as solid as we thought it was, and our deepest fears come true? When everything we’ve ever wanted is taken away, when our deepest fear is realized, and every trauma we’ve ever buried breaks out of prison with an angry vengeance the perfect storm is realized and bad terrible things happen to our minds.

When the hurricane hit me I wasn’t able to maintain my footing. I didn’t know what to do, where to go, how to handle, the one and only thing I knew was the word STOP. I knew it had to stop. I felt I deserved what happened to me. I felt I had a right to the pain because I had sinned. I had never lived up to be what I should have, and I earned my place. The memory slipped away after actions were taken. What happened to me? What was going to happen to me? So quickly control was fleeting, a wild chaos was quickly snapped back to a hazy reality but not without consequence. No one ever warned us this might happen. No one ever taught us the repercussions of a lifetime of running. You can’t run forever, sooner or later the past will catch up to you and when it does, it wants its payment with interest.

It would take months to realize the new reality, which was my life. It would take only days to realize how bad of a decision that had been made without conscious control. We all have to answer for our sins, and we all have to pay for them. The hard part about dealing with what we’ve done is forgiving ourselves. For me it’s always been easier to forgive others for the bad things they’ve done, but to forgive myself, you’d have better luck pulling a tooth from a T-Rex. I can never take back what happened that day, but to understand more then just the surface problem, to see beyond the facts of that day, it takes a deeper look into the human soul.

As we walk in our lives we see those around us who get caught in addiction, self-harm, physical disorders such as eating disorders, but do we ever try to address the problem? The problem on the surface is the immediate issue, but the problem I’m talking about is that below, the root of the problem. When people suffer for a long time even when we cannot see it, it can often manifest itself in ways to run and hide from the source. Eventually running is all we know. Eventually that life becomes a new reality a safe comfortable reality in our own minds. Even if from the outside it looks destructive and harmful, no doubt it is destructive and harmful, but life itself is often through the eyes of the beholder.

Survivors of alcoholism, or self-harm, suicide attempts, addictions to sleeping bills or other drugs, they know the route, but it’s everyone around that becomes the new problem. How many spectators become judgmental of the victim? Let’s use suicide as an example. If someone tries to end their life, what is the normal reaction from those around? Some are in shock and disbelief, others flock to the person showering with love and sympathy, but there are others who feel anger and distain. Suicide is often looked to as the coward’s way out, the easy way out. The anger comes from the idea that it hurts the ones who are left behind. So suicide is often known as selfish. The problem with today’s society is a lack of education on various mental health problems. There are a lot of assumptions and negative connotations that exist that doesn’t make them true. As a society we need to learn to answer pain with Love, answer hurt with Love. We’ve become so quick to push people away who cause pain, but never ask if the pain was intentional. Let me tell you, if someone’s facing addiction, or suicide, you are the last person on his or her minds. Some may leave a note behind, but the idea is never to inflict harm on others, albeit the end result is pain and suffering. Ironic that the idea to end ones own pain and suffering it will inflict that upon others, and yet that thought never crosses the victims mind. Colossians 3:12 “12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” We know that when there is pain doctors are compassionate towards the victims, EMS have a bedside manner of caring and love, but when someone in our family or friends harms themselves anger, and venomous reactions take the stage. Isaiah 49:13 “13 Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.” God knows when to be compassionate and when to be hard on his children. Psalm 51:1 “1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.” Is it so hard to forgive others? Is it so hard to realize we all make mistakes and we all harm one another at some point in our lives? Forgiveness isn’t something that is supposed to take time, (realizing this is the reality) it’s something that is supposed to come from the heart. Luke 23:34 “34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.”

We must learn to dig deeper to see the why and not just assume. We must learn to Love first and have compassion to those in pain. We must learn to forgive and understand the sinful nature of mankind. These things are not easy, but are necessary. No matter what the world says about some stigmas the facts remain in scripture. Education is the key to being a compassionate person, understanding the driving forces behind a particular mindset can not only give you incite, but help when you come face to face with it yourself. We all know someone who’s tried to commit suicide, became addicted to something, had some sort of mental health crisis, but do we really ever know the why, or the how? How did we treat them when the initial crisis had passed? Our jobs as a Church body is to love, have compassion, not to tare down someone after they already hit rock bottom. Love not hate, it really isn’t that hard with practice.

If you are the surviver of such an addiction, or suicide attempt, know that tomorrow the day can be brighter. As the Book of Job teaches us no matter how bad a situation may look at the time, tomorrow, God can bless us and change our future in an instant. We must maintain love and faith in God, in both or blessings, and our hardships.

 

 

 

God Provides

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God Provides

Have you ever noticed how when you are faithful God provides exactly what you need when you need it? You may not have extra, but the need is provided.

I can’t help but feel a sense of gratitude towards God and all my friends who’ve helped me through this tempestuous time. As the time has gone on I began to question if the storm would ever subside. Galatians 6:9 “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” If I am not mistaken this verse tells us to continue to try and even when things are going well and we’ve poured our time and effort into the good and bad times, to not grow weary.

When times continue and our desires, the things we wish the most are not given to us it’s hard to be patient. Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Being patient is hard for us little humans. Finding inner peace is not easy. I’ve spent the last 8 months searching for peace, and every time I think I’ve found it, every time I think I have made progress I stumble and fall backwards again. I try to follow John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”

 The truth is I am afraid. I’m afraid I am not good enough for someone to make them happy. I am afraid I am meant for nothing more then a basic security officer never destined to amount to any kind of greatness. I have spent a lifetime judging my own success on what others think of me, my success within my relationships, and my career. In the last 8 months I have lost every bit of what I judged my own success, my own self worth. My biggest problem has always been my fear of being alone. I still fear being alone, and I still fear failing.

I know that God will provide what I need when it’s time, and I have faith that God will not want me to be alone forever, just for the time being. The hardest thing to do is to have faith especially when you’re hurting. As faithful when the sun rises, and the sun setting, knowing the world will still turn, and life will continue to move on, we must believe that the God of all things will not fail us. Surviving the desert was a miracle under the circumstances. While there however I saw some of the most beautiful sunsets and sun rises. It always reminded me that God was always there and in control.

What’s On Your Duty Belt?

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What’s On Your Duty Belt?

The other day I was asked if I had a Letherman on my belt (affectionately known as the bat belt). Sadly I hadn’t yet picked one up to be an accessory. The man whom I’d been having a very nice conversation with had to walk a mile to the Walgreen’s down the street. This saddened me. I always prided myself on being prepared for as many things in my day as I could. That night on my way home I was so convicted to change that I stopped at Walmart on my way home and I picked up a new utility tool. I found one to fit my needs at $10.00. I felt good about that and didn’t hesitate to put it in the cart. Two days later another family needed a screwdriver and his time I was able to come to their rescue. I see our walk with Christ to be similar.

When we face problems in our walk through Christianity we’ll often face these trials and it’s important to have the right knowledge, the right scripture, the right weapon the right tool for the right job.

Having the right tool however isn’t just enough, you have to be able to know how to use that tool to be able to use it effectively. If you had a saw and you didn’t know how to use it as a carpenter that wouldn’t do you very much good. If you had a chainsaw you needed to cut down a tree but you had no idea how you might cut down the tree and have it fall on you or you might cut down the tree and have a go through your window or you might get lucky and it might fall exactly where you wanted to but you have to have knowledge of how to use the tools and not just have them.

The tempting of Jesus:

Matthew 4:1-11

3 And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread.

 4 But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.

 5 Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple,

 6 And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.

 7 Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.

 8 Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them;

 9 And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me.

10 Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.

 11 Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.

 It’s not just having the Bible as a weapon on your belt. You must know how to use it when the time comes. Knowing the Bible is there for you is great, but when tempted do you know what scripture to read? Do you know what the teachings are? Jesus knew exactly what to say to Satan to turn him away. Satan knows scripture, he knows the Holy word of the Lord, but he will try to tempt you, try to trick you to false doctrine. If you aren’t educated on scripture what chance do you have against Satan who knows it all? You must not just have a Bible, you must know your Bible, you must read it, and study it. There’s a scene in the Hunger Games the 1st one where Katniss is up in a tree and the Careers try to use the bow to shoot her down. Every one of them missed because they didn’t know how to use it. Another example is ‘The Book of Eli’. Eli’s mission is to get the ‘book’ west. Carnegie a town overlord knew what the Bible was and wanted to use it as a weapon. In the movie Eli was protected by the Holy Spirit and he knew he would be protected by God.

In every situation we find ourselves in we can ask ourselves a few questions. First, is what I’m about to do to glorify God or myself? And second if I ask my pastors advice on this would they approve? If the answers to either of those are yourself or no, chances are you shouldn’t be doing it. This world will tempt you with all manner of promises of joy and satisfaction, but in every circumstance nothing is new under the sun. Anything you think you may face today can usually be found in scripture.

Know your Bible, be able to fight off the Tempter when He comes knocking at your door. Be able to use scripture when you have to make hard choices. Be able to use scripture when you must defend your faith. 2 Timothy 3:12 “Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.” When the day comes to stand trial amongst men stand ready and rebuke any claim made against you with scripture. Then you will truly have the Armor of God on your Duty Belt.

 

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The Lonely Tree

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The Lonely Tree

 The tree stands in the middle of the forest. It’s not the biggest or the tallest, but it’s still a good tree. It’s surrounded by the forest on all sides, with some of the biggest, prettiest trees. This tree isn’t special or unique in any way. There’s nothing that makes this tree stand out in the greatness and wonders of the beauty it’s surrounded by. This tree like many others survived from a seedling, to the tree it is today. The tree flows in the wind, the leaves rustle just a bit. The branches are sturdy as are the roots. Birds come and go but pay the tree no mind. The occasional squirrel plays to and fro the branches, but sadly the tree has no hope to make friends with the squirrels or the birds. Along come the spiders that only use the tree, expect the tree to not mind the silky webs being strewn about in any manor the spiders want.

The tree wonders to itself why couldn’t I grow in a nice back yard someplace? Someplace where a couple kids would climb, and laugh, have a swing, or a glorious tree house to invite their friends over to play. Then the tree would stand out and be important. The kids would love that tree, and there they would create memories of the tree that they would have forever. Surrounded by other trees this tree is lonely. What can this tree do to feel better?

The Tree grows day after day, bigger and bigger it reaches for the sky. For years this tree stands in the forest questioning it’s existence. “Why am I here Lord?” the tree asks. “I have a plan for you, but be patient.” God said in return. So the lonely tree continued to host the spiders, the squirrels, the occasional birds and waited as God commanded.

Several more years had passed and the tree felt even more alone and out of place. The tree can’t believe there is no purpose. The day came when there was much commotion in the forest. Men flooded the forest with large pieces of equipment. “God I’m scared” said the tree. “You’ve been faithful to your own understanding. You’ve been home too many and you’ve lived a long life. You’ve given yourself to a cause and you’ve been patient, and for that you will give back in ways you can only dream of.” “I don’t understand what you mean God.” Responded the tree. “Trust in me, have faith, and you will.” God reassured the tree. “All I’ve ever wanted to be was special.” Said the tree. “You will be more special then you could ever imagine.” Replied God.

In the following days the men with the equipment were cutting down other trees. The day came when the men started to cut down the old tree. “I’m scared.” Said the tree. “My child, just as men, there’s a plan for all my creation. You will help reach almost a hundred people. My darling tree you are destined to be used to print Bibles. You will be made into Bibles that will be sent all over the world. Your sacrifice, your purpose will create nearly 100 Bibles. Those Bibles will touch the lives of almost 100 people and offer an opportunity for my children to know me.” “I am honored to give back my Lord.” Said the tree. “You’ve never been alone, and you never will be alone.” Replied God.

No mater what we think of our lives, we don’t know what God will plan for us. We don’t know our usefulness. What we do know is when we give the Glory to God, when we give faithfully, we will be given in return. Proverbs 28:20 “A faithful man will abound with blessings, but whoever hastens to be rich will not go unpunished.” And finally Luke 16:10 “One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much.” As the tree was faithful for all those years and all it wanted was to be useful, to be bigger then what it was. The tree’s prayers would be answered after a lifetime of waiting. Sometimes God will say No because it’s not the right time, or it’s not what’s good for us. You don’t have to be the biggest, or strongest, fastest or smartest in order for God to use you. You only need to be willing to be a servant for God and you shall be blessed for it. No matter whom you are or how you think you don’t fit in, you will always fit in, in Gods kingdom.

Set Sail

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Set Sail

When the wind is right and the waters are up for change, that’s when it’s time to raise your sail and head off for new horizons. With your compass to the ready let the winds take and guide you. Change can be a great thing filled with new adventure. It can be hard to expect good things when the change is unexpected. How do we know what star to sail by? How do we know when it’s time to set forth the sail and let the wind guide you? When life changes and it doesn’t feel like home anymore, when you feel like the wind has turned against you and your fighting the head wind, it’s time to set a new course. John 3:8 “The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit.” It is that Holy Spirit that can guide you in the changing of the winds. The foundation to which we must forge our faith, our temperament, our adventures must be set in stone of the Father. Matthew 7:25 “And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock.”

No matter where the winds take us hold your foundation, know where your northern star is and no matter the pleasant wind, or the winds of storms, you will always find your way. Let God guide you and have faith to sail into the horizon and the wind of God shall take you where you’re supposed to go. Have faith in your own faith, have faith in God and with the wind at your back you will be taken to where you need to go.

It can be a scary thing to venture out on your own, alone. Imagine the first of the Apollo mission that set ‘sail’ for the moon. With every adventure there are set backs. Apollo 1 had the fire on the launch pad. Apollo 13 had an O2 canister explode on route to the moon. The Challenger exploded just after launch, and the Columbia exploded in reentry, all of these tragedies could have changed our space program, we could have canceled the space program but it didn’t. We didn’t let the winds of resistance slow us down, so we cannot tuck tail and run when things get hard for us either. The NX-01 Enterprise in the Star Trek Universe was the first warp 5 ship in the fleet and was making history with every light year. Don’t let fear force you to alter course. Batten down the hatches and hold on to the rail when things get rocky. We may not always be prepared for everything that comes, but overcome and adapt. Keep the faith and keep your heading.