Tag: pain

Glory

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Glory 
My heart is torn, it’s broken and battered. I try and fight I try to stand tall and continue fighting but days like today when I feel I can’t take anymore, a reminder of Gods plan and how it can shape our future in an instant reminded me that nothing in the future is set till it happens. 
Faith in the Lord above isn’t always easy. In times we are at our lowest the moment of truth often comes quick and when we least expect it. Do we choose the path of God, trust in him even when we can’t see path. We must learn to trust in the Lord even when that path seems full of dangerous vipers, scorpions, pitfalls, and other dangerous traps. Faith in God isn’t for the easygoing, it can be tough even for the most devout. But keep fighting the fight because Glory last forever. 

The Improvised

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The improvised 
Sitting here in the ER alone as I’ve sent mom home to rest, gather supplies, and get ready for the long day, I find myself pondering what I guess most people ponder when looking at a life altering surgery. Who are my loved ones, who cares who doesn’t? Is my Will complete and dang did I leave the stove on? I am reminded of so many one liners but I’ll spare all of you the boring repartee and just know that I haven’t forgotten about my avid readers. I may be out for the day, but as long as I have a phone I’ll still work my guru magic and post something. 
While I was here I was able to doodle a little something and while it’s not finished because as you’ll all see I’m no artist, I haven’t lost sight of my goal. I will continue to work on my ministries and with Gods grace continue to touch lives. So as I get ready for what looks so far to be surgery, back surgery it is. While the surgeons are deliberating and I’m going on almost 24 hours awake, I’m reminded of some bible verses. 
1 Peter 1:6-7 “6 Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: 7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:”
Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.”
We may have setback and we may have plans that go off the rails but even in the darkest of days the brightest of flowers may still bloom. 

Regret

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Regret

In our lives we make decisions that in hindsight weren’t so good. We also make great decisions that can change our lives forever. It’s the one moment where life has fallen apart around you, the moment you can’t see the next breath you take, you can’t take a single step forward, life has stopped and the world looks like it’s moving around you at near light speed. The moment when all hope is lost, and the decision you make seems like the right one, but what if there was a way to move that step forward, what if I told you there was hope, and there is a next breath, would that change your mind for the next catastrophe in your life?

For many veterans and civilians who’ve gone through trauma getting stuck in that moment is all too common. When we get stuck we go through our days only a shell of who we used to be. We eat, we work, we sleep, we may even contribute to the life around us, but we aren’t really there. The sludge of the weight of what we carry builds as we trek through the mud farther and farther. There will come a point when you have the black tar from your shoes up to your neck. At some point you won’t be able to move forward anymore. No matter what our event is, whether it’s the death of a loved one, the loss of a spouse, sexual assault, horrific car accident, fire, or even just a series of events that you have entered that hurts those around you. We often push away people we love because we don’t want them to see us in pain, we don’t want them to see us suffering. We push away to defend ourselves, and them, from potential damage. We don’t want to drag anyone down with us, and sometimes it’s because we just can’t see beyond our own pain.

Being pushed away by someone who’s going through a lot of pain is hard. Knowing you want to help, and feeling powerless is perhaps the most difficult position to ever be in. Seeing someone you care about in pain, seeing them walk down a dark path, and when all you want to do is take their pain away and shower them in love, yet you’re held away, and pushed and kicked out of their life, is heart breaking.

For each of our mistakes we see the other side of other peoples. When we know they are making a mistake all we can do is pray for them. All we can do is hope that one day they will turn around from the path they’re on and hopefully do so before anything to bad happens they can’t come back from. For me I gravitated to the song One Step Away by Casting Crowns:

 What if you could go back and relive one day of your life all over again
And unmake the mistake that left you a million miles away
From the you, you once knew
Now yesterday’s shame keeps saying that you’ll never get back on track
But what if I told you

You’re one step away from surrender
One step away from coming home, coming home
One step from arms wide open
His love has never let you go
You’re not alone
You’re one step away

It doesn’t matter how far you’ve gone
Mercy says you don’t have to keep running down the road you’re on
Love’s never met a lost cause
Your shame, lay it down
Leave your ghosts in the past ‘cause you know that you can’t go back
But you can turn around
You’ve never been more than

 We aren’t ever alone. This message goes out to my veteran brothers and sisters, we aren’t ever alone. We sit at home, we have the open bottle of beer or booze, and we seclude ourselves in the dark, thoughts screaming in our head. We can’t seem to get out of the way. This, is, torture. When we trained for war we trained as a team. When we get home we see that no one is there for us, no one understands, how could anyone, they weren’t there. The thing is, that’s all an elaborate lie by the Devil to separate us from the world, and break us down. It’s not true. There are plenty of other veterans out there struggling with their own replay of war. Something else I’ve learned is trauma is trauma no matter what kind. Sexual assault, loss of loved ones, fire, car accidents, none of that is exclusive to military. Sure firefights may be a bit more segregated, but that doesn’t mean people aren’t there for you. We have support groups, veterans groups, outreach programs, and so much more to help get us all back to a good healthy place.

We all have our regrets in life but one of the biggest battles we will ever face is facing those mistakes. Allowing ourselves to heal from them on the inside by forgiving ourselves, asking others to forgive us and showing true repentance for those mistakes. Philippians 3:13 “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but [this] one thing [I do], forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,” We must go forth to God and ask for forgiveness, but we also need to make it right, we need to attempt to right our wrongs. 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” One thing that I am reminded of is how easy it is to get off track. How often do we do a wrong based on how someone else wrongs us? We as Christians should hold ourselves to a higher standard, and not fall into the world expectations. We cannot allow the world to dictate how we react, or how we treat others. We mustn’t let the world tell us the lies we often feel when dealing with life’s tragedies. Isaiah 43:18-19 “18 Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. 19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, [and] rivers in the desert.” We cannot know what our tomorrow brings, and we cannot know what surprises will be waiting for us just around the next bend in the road.

In all things in our life we should move forward with kindness in our hearts, forgiveness isn’t something to be earned, it’s something to be given freely. We can’t hold our forgiveness hostage like some kind of ransom is required to give it. If we are to live like Christ we must learn that people are sinful, people hurt others, we hurt them, and forgiveness isn’t always rebuilding the relationship if it’s lost. Christ forgave humanity for our sins despite the awful things we as a collective whole did to Him. We were not only forgiven for past and current sins, but future sins we might face in the future. 2 Corinthians 7:10 “10 For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.” When Judas betrayed Christ he could not get past his own grief and he took his own life by hanging. This is worldly sorrow. There is not repentance to be had, and no chance of redemption. We all Sin, we have make mistakes big and small. Even David a man of God’s own heart was not free from them. David was well known to be a fair man as a King, but he was a horrible husband and father. Psalm 51:1- 3 “51 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.”

 No matter how far we’ve fallen, there is always a way back. Even when it’s adulatory or other forms of betrayal. Proverbs 6:32-34 “He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself. He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away. For jealousy makes a man furious, and he will not spare when he takes revenge.” A man shall not take revenge for himself, for revenge is not bringing harmony. Justice is for the Lord. Forgiveness is for man, asking for it, and giving it freely. Do not allow your life to come to the end and regret a multitude of things. Make right your wrongs, make right the harm you’ve cause, the pain you’ve inflicted. Seek forgiveness in others, beg for forgiveness of the Lord. Let go of your own pain, and do not carry that weight with you. If you continue to carry a weight like that around you cannot continue to God’s work when you have so much on your shoulders already. Allow God’s grace to fill you, let yourself see through God’s eyes, let yourself feel with God’s heart, and learn to let go of judgments, let go of your own sorrow. Do not allow yourself to be weighed down any longer.

We all have things in our life we wish we could take back, things we could change. We can’t ever retrieve something we’ve let slip from out mouths, undo an action, but we can attempt to make right what we’ve done. Don’t wait for tomorrow, start healing today. Let the weight of the world fall from your shoulders, and find a new way, a better way, a Godly way of dealing with life, and facing the trials ahead of you. Our way is never the way even if it’s easier sometimes the easy way isn’t the right way, sometimes the right way is the path less traveled. It’s our job as Christians to figure out the path God wants us to be on. When we don’t know the path to take we must turn to the scripture and pray about our path. Proverbs 18:13 “13 He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.” Don’t make a decision without knowing as much of the facts as possible so be sure to not make foolish decisions. Don’t allow yourself to be fooled by fake or false information. Proverbs 18:15 “15 The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge.” When you think you know something, don’t be quick to pass judgement without gaining other perspectives and complete the story. Don’t take a story as true just on face value. Proverbs 18:15 “15 The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge.”

Knowing what to expect when problems comes up is one thing. Knowing how to respond is the second side of that coin. We must know that in our lives we will face problems, we will face trials, and in all of those trials we know that we must accept and rejoice in those times. James 1:2-4 “2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; 3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. 4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” If anyone out there is like me the WHY ME question comes up sometimes. We know that patience is something we all need more of, and in our trials we are often tasked with growing in our faith, draw closer to God and growing in patience. IF we learn how to respond to issues, we could very well have fewer regrets in our life. John 16:33“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” When standing on the beach of the ocean we do not stand with our backs to the waves (generally) because when the big one hits us we get knocked own. Instead we face the wave head on, and we brace for it. Knowing what Christ expects of us on how to handle our troubles, knowing how to handle heartbreak, and betrayals, we can minimize the damage and we can help prevent us from getting into as much trouble.

We won’t always make all the right choices all the time, we won’t always handle every situation the best we can, we are human, we are driven by sin nature, and thus we will undoubtedly make mistakes. It’s in those mistakes however we know how to seek forgiveness, and seek repentance when they do occur. It’s in those mistakes, those hardships that our true character is placed on display. We find out more about ourselves through our trials then when things are always a batch of roses. Just remember that even the prettiest of roses have thorns. Seek God for the answers to your troubles, and seek God to the direction of your path. You may not be able to get rid of regret, but you can minimize its impact.

 

 

Don’t hide behind the wall

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Don’t hide behind the wall

 “Christians often want to hide behind the walls of the church, where we are comfortable, but sometimes we have to come out of the box.” Cheryl James

We as Christians are all afraid of something. Some are afraid to go and proclaim their faith at work. Some fear going abroad and putting themselves in situations that make them uncomfortable. What are we hiding behind? Do we build our walls to protect ourselves from life? I know a great many people who’ve been hurt in the past and they proclaim to the heavens, “I’m never dating again, I’m better off alone.” The truth is this statement is them putting up a wall and hiding from their pain, or pain they think might come if they come out from behind the wall they’ve erected.

Fear can push us to recluse ourselves to an extreme level. Some people who’ve been hurt curl up inside themselves putting up walls so no one can see them, no one can get close. Being hurt that bad from those closest to us, or those whom we love dearly isn’t new. Someone told me recently that, “being cheated on is apart of life, it happens.” Sadly she was right that it does happen. The area we disagreed on is the emotionless response. Anyone who goes through pain like that is owed their time to it. We are human and we have feelings. The important thing about that is making sure we only put up healthy defenses.

In Ephesians 6:16 “In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;” It’s important to know what to shield yourself from and what to let in. You can’t hide behind the shield all the time. Sooner or later you have to come out and breath the fresh air again. In the early church Christians hid in the Catacombs to teach and preach. Of course this is different when you’re hiding to preserve your life, that makes sense. Hiding to preserve the possibility of getting hurt, something in which may or may not happen is something many Christians need to work on. We all feel what we feel and we all handle differently. We cannot or rather should not judge how someone handles a situation, but rather as Christians help them so they can manage in a scripturally sound way.

Matthew 5:14-16 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that[a] they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” The light of the lord shines through and cannot be hidden. As is such your heart, your life, you cannot hide away your feelings and expect to remain safe. I am reminded of the Battle of Helms Deep in the second of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. The wall had never been breached before. King Theoden was confident that the wall would hold off the horde. He was confident that in all the years since it’s construction no one had ever breached the wall, and thus the plan was just to keep them off the walls and continue to hold them off. If we put our faith in the wall, that wall will eventually fail us. Saruman the white wizard found a weakness in the wall and once exploited the wall would never again be the same, a bomb of sorts placed in a small drain detonated and blew a 60-foot wide hole in the wall allowing the enemy to flood into the fortress.

If we think our walls are strong enough to hold out the world we are sadly mistaken. No wall we can ever create for ourselves is strong enough to withstand the onslaught of the Devil’s attacks. The only shield you can ever count on is that in which is built upon Christ. If we allow the Holy Spirit to cover us that’s the only wall we can ever count on. Even the Roman Empire’s walls as strong as they were eventually fell. Do not hide behind your own fear. Do not allow yourself to shut yourself in and hide away from the world. Only bad things happen when we shut everyone and everything out that loves us.

 

 

The Grass Ain’t Greener

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The Grass Ain’t Greener      

Recently as some of you who read my blogs have already figured out I suffered a horrible separation. Because of that this topic’s been weighing on my mind. Often when we look across the yard and things look pretty good. We look at other peoples lives, we look at what others have, we look to other people and we often think how good they have it, or how great it would be to own that, or even how good it would be to be with someone else. We usually call this the grass is greener phase. The thing about this phase is, it’s a lie. The Devil has been perpetrating this lie since the original day of sin. The day in the garden Satan convinced Eve that life would be better after eating from the tree of knowledge. He convinced her that living a life with open eyes would be better then that which God had created for them. The Devil made it sound like the grass was greener on the other side. The sad part was once Eve stepped over to the other side and realized how wrong she was the damage was done and it couldn’t be fixed. The fall from grace had happened and now the beautiful grass she once had died, and she could never have that life back again.

When we pursue the greener grass we are looking through a distorted keyhole lens that only shows us what we want to see, not what we need to see. How often do we hear the stories about people crossing over to the other side just to find out it’s not great at all, and they wish they could go back. The sad part is when you cross over and then in doing so you destroy not only your life but also others around you. Recently in my life I knew a couple that had been together for about 10 years or so. The father had gone through a horrible divorce because his first wife had an affair and destroyed the marriage. After a while of healing he met a new woman who’d become his second wife. They would have a great life, a great house, their children became a family, and at least from the spectator point of view their life looked pretty good. OF course there are things we never see from the outside, but I know I was a bit envious of everything they had. I found out rather suddenly that she had an affair, lied about it, continued the affair, and it quickly fell apart. She destroyed her own career, she broke the hearts of the kids, broke her husbands heart and as he suffered this kind of loss now for the second time his pain now unimaginable. I’ve not talked to her since then but the question is ‘was it worth it?’ Though I’ll never have the answer I have to imagine at some point the rose goggles will be removed and the beauty will turn to ash.

In my own life I have suffered something very similar. Two wives, two affairs, and as with the first time, the second time has left me broken and displaced. This time around my faith is guiding me. This time around I am stronger than I was before. This time I know I have more to offer. I heard a saying once a few years ago, “The grass is greener where you water it.” Marriage isn’t easy sometimes, and sin pulls at our hearts and all manner of earthly desires but when you get married it’s for life, it’s not for as long as it’s convenient. The idea of sin in the marriage such as divorce is repugnant to God. The old saying is you can look but don’t touch apparently is more of a guideline these days. Even looking can be a pitfall if it becomes envy or lust. There are so many people out there who have spouses who became cheaters, so many relationships fail because of infidelity. God’s heart breaks watching so many relationships crumble because of such things. Genesis 2: 21:22 “So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made[h] into a woman and brought her to the man.” Woman was made to be of one flesh. Woman was made so man wouldn’t be alone, and vise versa. When two people marry they become one flesh. They are devoted and when there is infidelity the heartbreak that’s caused can be deeper then some can handle. I wish we could have the eyes of God to see what God see’s within the hearts of those broken by infidelity, by lies, by deceits. I wish those who do such evil things knew how it feels to be on the receiving end. I wish I knew or understood the minds and hearts of those who do this to others. I wish that we could receive Gods love for humanity. I wish we loved as God loves.

Much like the man from my story earlier I feel the pain he feels, I have seen through his eyes, and I know the pain of the knife, the pain of betrayal, the sting of lies. Was the grass greener, I may never know, but I know my future looks bright. For every tragedy we face in our lives there is a potential for great redemption. In every tragedy God is working to use it for the betterment of our lives. No matter how much pain we face, no matter how much sorrow or anger that’s in our hearts letting go of that poison and finding a new pasture to raise your home is the first step. Forgiveness and letting go of that anger and hate, saying it a thousand times over, letting yourself weep and feel, ‘I forgive you.’ You must learn to believe in the goodness of people. You must learn that each person you encounter is not the last. Holding onto anger and holding onto hatred are chains for your very soul that leave you stuck in the place that, that wound first happened and you can’t break free till you face the pain head on. You must fight the urge to stay angry, you must fight the urge to hate. We are not the judge and we are not the jury. Deuteronomy 32:35 “To me belongeth vengeance, and recompence; their foot shall slide in due time: for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste.” We are not to hold onto the cancer that holds us back.

When our worlds fall down because of someone else and it looks like our grass is dying, and we feel we’ll never be whole again remember that tears of healing may fall and will water your grass. Let them flow, let the healing begin and watch as God uses the miraculous to change your life. Every day you must learn to take care of your own yard, tend to your garden, tend to your flock and watch as the healing waters sprout new life into your life and sooner than you think your grass will be green and full of life. The glory of our lives and our calamities all belong to the grace of God. God sees the pain, feels the pain, and endures the pain. God was with Jesus on that Cross, and as we fight to bare our own cross Christ our Lord, one with the Father Abba is with us on our cross. The whips that strike us strike God. The words that cut our hearts cut the heart of God. Nothing we go through in this life affects only us. As I have grown a great deal I have found that the wounds I’ve endured over these last 8 months are not mine alone, and I wouldn’t be standing if it weren’t for God. I myself broke Gods heart 8 months ago, and I have to pray and ask for that forgiveness. I asked God to forgive me as I was dying in that ambulance and hearing the voice of God “You’re forgiven” I woke and new life was breathed into my chest. The only grass that’s greener in our lives we won’t find here. It’s only when we go home, when we finally reach our place in paradise will the grass ever be greener. Don’t loose sight of the promise made and remember God’s promise to us is not empty, it’s full of truth and life.

When the world tries to lure you away from your own piece of grass, when you are being tempted to cross over that fence, remember not only will your grass die where you were, there will be no blessing on the land where you are headed. Have faith that if you are on the fence and you are thinking of crossing over because you feel life would be better on the other side, think of Matthew 4:29-31 “He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” Much like Peter we must trust in the Lord will not let us be consumed by the storm. When you are struggling in your relationship there’s always a better way. Fight for your relationship, fight with everything you’ve got and trust in the Lord to save you when times are darkest.

 

 

 

 

 

Broken Sky

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Broken Sky

The pain inside caused by you shattered like a mirror to the floor all around.

God protect me so I can put the peaces back together.

God give me your eyes so I can see the reasons why.

The tears that fall, fall like bricks to the ground. The flood all around now from tears I’ve spent.

Why would you do this I scream, why oh why I cry.

Nothing’s all right, nothings okay, I’m fine I say, but the lie that lies.

I’m broken hearted and I feel fractured inside, torn to which way to go.

A second chance, a third and forth, but nothing helps.

God tells me I’m more than what I feel. Tears drench my shirt, my desk, my everything.

I’m not who I once was, I am afraid, and I don’t know what else to do.

God hurts too, or so the Bible tells me so.

God am I being punished for my mistakes, is this only path?

God says no, no punishment, free will makes the heart break.

We are more than the mistakes we make. We are remade in the light, washed by the waters.

God stay with me tonight, God hold me tonight, Abba I need you today. I’m broken.

God my pain is deep and I feel like I’ll never be whole again. Abba save me from my sorrow.

God my God please save me tonight. Help me fight what I feel, help me feel today I can be saved.

God please bless me, please don’t make me wait. God my God help me, I need to feel you here.

God my God I know that I’ll be stronger in the end.

God my Abba please stand with me in this fire, please help me not feel the pain as the fire burns away the old.

God my God please help my heart, please hold me tonight. God my God don’t forsake me tonight.

What don’t kill ya makes ya stronger I know, but I can’t do it alone. My God my God don’t let me fall tonight.

The Hard Love I feel, the pain inside, fractured and broken, I am shattered in the mirror on the ground.

God my God, my Father, please piece me back together better than I was before.

My God my God please allow me to be rid of the rocky road, protect me from the Devil, please I beg of thee.

Embrace the Suck

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Embrace the Suck

Embrace the Suck is a crude but effective motto many in the military use to try and make the life of a soldier a bit more bearable. The life of anyone in the military can be challenging for mind, body and soul. The day in and day out routine and tasks can take you to the very edge of what you believe, what you perceive to be the farthest you can go without snapping. I’m here to tell you, everyone has a breaking point, but that point can be less traumatic if we know the God, the Lord of all things. The truth is, the military is not a bad career. Sure there are aspects of it that are horrible and we all can’t stand, but once you learn how to embrace the parts that are toughest we can finally embrace the joys and the beauty.

Does knowing we are going to suffer make the pain any less important? If you were going to be tortured, but you were told first would that make the torture any less difficult? No of course not. John 16:33 “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” If Jesus suffered as brutally as he had, what makes us think we are special? If Jesus had to be tortured to save the sins of every man, woman, child from past, present, and future, our little bit of discomfort is nothing compared to what Christ endured for us. Remember He could have stopped that beating and the ridicule, and the painful suffocation anytime. Romans 8:18 “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time [are] not worthy [to be compared] with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”

 No one said we have to like the pain and suffering, but it does do one thing, it’ll either draw us closer to God, or push us away. If each one of our trials is a test, or temptation by Satin how do we want to be graded? If you look back at every situation you’ve ever been put in and had to give yourself a legitimate grade, an honest non biased grade, what do you think your overall GPA would be now if al those points were to be added up? We need to consider the next time someone gets under our skin what it looks like when we curse them out, or throw a frying pan at their head. How we act, how we respond, every word is being counted. Remember once uttered no word can be taken back and forgotten. The words we use can drastically hurt those around us. It’s time to be an adult and leave petty squabbles behind.

We as Christians should be leading the way in healthy problem solving. We as Christians should be setting the gold standard as to how to maintain order and peace. Living in Christ we don’t disserve Gods love, but we get it anyway. We are all sinners, but the water washes away that sin and we are left a new version of our old selves. Be one in the light and let God use you. We will never be perfect and we will often make mistakes, but it’s how we handle those mistakes, how we make decisions, and how we treat those around us is how we are to be judged by God.

The next time you’re in the middle of a horrible experience remember you’re being watched. Remember God sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, he knows when you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake. Yes I realize that’s a Christmas song for Santa, but it still applies.

THE DEVIL WHISPERED IN MY EAR

‘YOU’RE NOT STRONG ENOUGH

TO WHITHSTAND THE STORM’

TODAY I WHISPERED IN THE DEIL’S EAR

“I AM THE STORM.”

*U.S. VETERAN*

A Past Long Forgotten, The Dangers of Compartmentalization

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A Past Long Forgotten, The Dangers of Compartmentalization

I’m sure most people have had at least one trauma in their life that sticks with them, if not more than one. If you’re like me, the Devil just loves to stick around and try to make life a tad harder than it needs to be. One thing I’ve noticed is the minute changes that come about after every trauma takes place. When you’ve become so consumed with the trauma that you are forced to find anyway you can handle it, a common way for kids to handle, or at least myself was compartmentalization. When it comes to trauma big and small this is a safe way to handle it in the moment. However, if not revisited this method of handling can be very dangerous. Websters defines compartmentalized as “to separate into isolated compartments or categories” In many cases this is the event, and the emotion surrounding the event and are stored inside the brain as separate memory engrames. Once the memory is separated it’s difficult to reconnect the two, and it’s more so when the laps of time is greater. So what happens when you do this throughout a lifetime, say, 30 years? Lets think of memories as boxes, now think about each box as a memory, but the painful ones divide into two boxes and sit them on the shelf in the closet. Over time that closet is going to start to get full. When the closet reaches a certain point, all it takes is one massive event, and everything in that closet can come bursting down on top of you burying you in all the negative feelings you tried so hard to subdue or hide. So now you are lying on the floor, you have boxes everywhere, the emotions are like a zoo full of escaped wild animals, how do you plan on wrangling them up, and putting them back? The truth is, you don’t. The time at this point has past and now a new way of storing them is needed.

Often times when the emotions from traumas are released in such an uncontrolled manner the outcome is less than desirable. The effects can be quite frankly catastrophic. Often we see this as the beginning to self-destruction. An individual can go through several possible outcomes to include, self harm, harming others, drugs or substance abuse, addictions of other kinds such as work, gambling, adrenalin seekers, or other forms of risky behaviors. This is the common way for someone who’s accidently had Pandora’s box opened who didn’t have the right guidance to handle it. People don’t usually ask for the box to be pried open, sadly, it’s just one of life’s unfortunate circumstances. The key, once it’s opened is to know what to expect, and hopefully have someone around who can help guide you through the path of recovery. There are 4 basic paths to dealing with trauma. They can be found and studied here.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200111/recovering-trauma

The example that best correlates with compartmentalization is the Tsunamis. During the time you have lived on by not feeling, as it’s described in the Psychology Today article your nervous system is a circuit bored and in the event of a catastrophic traumatic event your system shuts down. There’s a dangerous time frame here between the event, and the waters receding. It’s in that short period of time that some will fall into the self-harm stage. It happens so fast that spectators rarely realize there’s a problem until it’s too late.

The truth is, as a Christian nation it needs to be better about standing with our brothers and sisters in times of great struggle. It’s sometimes hard to do especially when we don’t always know or understand the nature of what’s going on underneath the water. Some people, myself included often look like a duck on a pond. Floating around, no cares in the world, however if you look under the water, those little flipper feet are going a mile a minute. The iceburg is much larger underneath than what we see on the surface. Since we never know someone’s breaking point we must assume that during events that are hard to handle we look at them objectively and try to remain unbiased. A few life changing events that some would seem as bad things but not traumas are what we will look at for a moment. Loosing your job, loosing a spouse to either death or an unwanted divorce, loosing a loved one, car accidents, and sometimes slightly worse events. These things to some people may seem horrible, but to others, they can be the straw to break the camels back. As that may often be the case it’s better to error on the side of caution and overly loving in the hopes there are no residual feelings that could move this into a catastrophic event.

The dangers of being wrong: What if your friend or spouse goes through one of these events and notices you aren’t there for them, or you downplay how they are feeling. If we don’t show them that we care, and if we pass a negative judgment on their situation we may actually be contributing to the further decline of their mental stability. It’s important to always try and be supportive. We all handle situations and stress differently based on the culmination of our backgrounds and what we’ve learned in the past. If you are a young man and you get harassed every day by the police, eventually you will grow to fear them, hate them, avoid them, even though they are only there to help, the behavior is a learned trait. If you are bullied your whole life and you grow up and have self-esteem issues, self loathing, fear of rejection, or abandonment, those fears, those traits are learned traits. They come from a lifetime of experiences that tells us how the world is, even if it’s only our version of the truth. Getting back to the point, when bad things happen, we don’t honestly know how someone will react. That’s why it’s so important to follow Galatians 6:2 “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” We shouldn’t hesitate to help even with the small stuff. Show compassion and be there if someone needs you. Ephesians 4:32 “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” We’ve been given such grace and love and forgiveness by God we are asked to pass that along to our fellow brothers and sisters of humanity. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.”

If you’re struggling through tough times, if you have old trauma’s that are weighing you down, or if you just feel you need to talk, seek out Godly and or professional advice. Don’t try to get through this life on your own. There’s no shame in asking for help. Not asking for help is prideful, arrogant, and perhaps even a hair selfish. By not dealing with the issue when it’s small, it can grow inside you like a cancer, spreading throughout your thoughts and feelings, until one day it’s beyond repair. Seek help, trust in the Lord that you will be watched over no matter how light, or heavy the storm is.

Where In The World Is God?

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Where In The World Is God?

Some of you, perhaps dating my age a bit, are familiar with the books, game and show, “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego”. The idea of the game was as a new gumshoe you had to follow the clues around the world to locate the master thief Carmen Sandiego. This took both skill and mindfullness to track down this master theif all over the world. You had to know your stuff. The show was designed for the ages of 10-14. So, if you’re up to it where going to answer the question, where in the world is God?

Alright gumshoe listen up. God is somewhere out there and He’s waiting for you. Your mission is to follow the clues and find God before the time runs out. I hope you’re ready for this because if you loose it could be your eternal soul.

Your whole life you can live and not have the answer to one of the few great questions of all time. The first and most important question, “Is there a God?” The short answer is of course there is. The hard part is trying to prove it. We of course can get into a full-fledged apologetics debate, a full-fledged theology debate, but the fact remains it is the opinion of this Blog that God not only lives, but also loves us and never leaves our side.

Do you remember when you were a kid and you’d wait all year to send your letter to Santa Claus? Do you remember when Christmas morning arrived and all the presents were under the tree? How the mind of a child works, the faith that something or someone is real without ever having any kind of tangible truth. Children play together of different races, ethnicities, sexes, and mange to get along just fine without the help of us adults. Where does that love and wonder go as they get older? The world is a dangerous place for not only your body, but also for your mind and your soul. The world will tell you to question what you’ve learned, tell you to unlearn, tell you to broden your mind, and to close your mind. The world wants to shape you in it’s image. It wants to teach you and unteach you at the same time. If you have a particular mindset the world will tell you it’s wrong, and will try to force you to change, sometimes by force. Where is God in all of this?

God knowing how the world would treat His children came up with a plan. The plan was to love us, guide us, diciplin us, and give us a tool to live by. The Bible says many things about the world, and the lust of the flesh and the lust of the world itself. We love violence, we thrive on debauchery. The things that make us feel good are also the things that are the biggest lies. Morpheus “The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work… when you go to church… when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.” God is always with us. God surrounds us, and comforts us when we are in need, when we ask for Him. We know there is so much wrong with the world, but do we ever truly understand why? The world is a fallen world, one of Sin, and that sin is what causes broken homes, war, poverty, hatred, crime, and loss. The feeling that something is wrong is no different than knowing something was wrong in the Matrix. Morpheus: “What you know you can’t explain, but you feel it. You’ve felt it your entire life, that there’s something wrong with the world. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.” The world is divided up into two categories, those saved, and those unsaved. Those who are unsaved are not the enemy, but they will try to sued you from your faith. The Devil will use anyone He can throw into your path to pull you away from Christ. In that, if the ‘system’ is the world, and the saved are those unplugged then you can see how if there was one being looking over all the world God would be everywhere, all at once. Morpheus: “The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you’re inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.”

The argument that if there were a loving God that there would be no pain which is false. I say without hardships you never find your true potential. I believe that without reward there is no purpose to try. If there is nothing after this life and we just end, then why obey mans laws? Without some form of higher moral code, then the code of man is worthless. Why not just take what you want, do what you want, and enjoy the fruits of all your evil wicked ways. If there is nothing to hold us accountable then why do anything at all. God didn’t create slaves, He created humans to have a relationship with us, and with that gave us free will, and thus not making us slaves to his will. We have the choice to follow or not. We can see in the world the battle of good and evil everywhere we turn. Every time we see good, every time we see empathy, we know that God is alive and with us and on the move. We see the world through tinted glasses and we but only follow Christ and we can see a bit more clearly. When we see the transformation in those people who become saved the difference is astounding. There is a noticeable difference in the human condition. We have seen miracles in this world even if they are few and far between. If we examine the actual evidence and set aside any preconceived notions we may hold, the evidence is fairly conclusive. Some skeptics will argue forever, and some of the leading scientists will argue the contrary that humanity is a random convergence and nothing more. The existence of Christ is not in question. There is enough evidence to prove he lived, the question then is was he the Son of God? When you break down what we know of examining cold cases such as the well-known Cold Case investigator J. Warner Wallace we find that the eyewitness accounts of Jesus’ resurrection and His prior miracles are not likely to be a fabrication. First and foremost that many people who lived and died vowing that Christ rose from the dead is unlikely that a group that size would be able to keep a conspiracy alive that long. Each of them died horribly and under extreme stresses and knowing they were going to die if they didn’t recant their statements died for the truth.

Further more those who claim the Bible contradicts itself because the authors don’t seem to mention the exact same things in their accounts as the others just don’t understand the nature of eye-witness accounts. This too is something you would see from different witness perspectives. Don’t believe me, that’s fine, read a book. The point is, God is everywhere. God is always with us, and we only need to ask and God will save us. The bills been paid and all we have to do is believe and follow. It’s not always the easiest of things to do, but it certainly beats the alternative of being tortured nearly to death by the most brutal means imaginable, and then forced to drag a piece of wood a mile or so to your own place of death, then while bleeding, while thirsty, while exhausted being nailed hands and feet to a thick wooden cross, lifted up and as your body starts to pull down with your arms spread you begin to asphyxiate. You will either die from blood loss or asphyxiating, and if that doesn’t happen before your set time, they break your legs so you can no longer hold your own weight, and you die shortly thereafter. This doesn’t sound like a fun experience to me. If what suffering I’ll go through in this life is to build my character and suffer even just a little as Christ suffered, then I’d gladly take my end over Christ’s. John 5:24 “Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.” The sacrifice was paid for us. We will never have deserved it, but we have it never the less. Matthew 24:11-13 “11 And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many. 12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold. 13 But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.” There will be many false prophets you will encounter in the world of men. They will get you to walk away from what you really want. They will get you to buy into their schemes like used car salesman’s using misdirection, flashy terms, sweet talking, and when all else fails, bold face lies.

Remember that God is everywhere and the love is endless. Don’t give up hope, and never give up the faith. Remember those still plugged in are part of the system and that system is designed to keep you a slave. The Devil wants to keep you plugged in, draining the life from you, growing stronger the more souls he steals from the Lord. The end of the war is foretold, what side do you want to be on?

 

Be Thankful For What You Have, Envy and Greed

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Be Thankful For What You Have, Envy and Greed

In today’s world, especially now with constant adds in your face about the newest and greatest gizmo, or gadget, car, phone, or anything else you could desire, there is always something new out there we want. This doesn’t just cover the things you can buy small, but the big stuff also, houses, or even significant others. What is it about our society that we think such things are disposable? What is it about the way we live our lives that tells us it’s okay to up and walk away from commitments of any kind? It’s sad that in some states there’s actually ways to get a speedy no fuss no muss divorce. Don’t like your spouse, it’s okay, just divorce them, throw them away, and find yourself the upgraded, newest, and improved model. Decide you don’t want to pay your fair share anymore, that’s okay, no worries, the laws aren’t designed to keep things fair. You can walk away from a house and destroy your credit, along with someone else’s, but it’s okay, instant gratification, instant happiness. Well, I’m here to tell you this is all one big fat lie. This is Sin at its finest. This is greed, and lust, gluttony, and selfishness. Luke 12:15 “Then he said to them, ‘Watch Out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.’” We are a nation of abundance and collections. Understanding it’s okay to collect things, and have things, what’s not okay is when you turn those things into idols. Exodus 20:17 ”You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” The Author of exodus is not talking about your next door neighbor, no, he’s talking about your fellow human beings. Do not covet. Just as it’s written, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” This is referring to everyone. When we covet or lust for something we are in active sin.

I’ve lived all over the world and I’ve seen poor. When I was in Korea and I saw the poor standards of living, to the point of tin shack houses, barely have running water, and in some cases where I lived there was no running water. When I was in Iraq there was trash in the streets, the rivers were filthy with human feces and trash everywhere from the streets, to the waters. The sheer level of dirty was almost unimaginable. Growing up in the United States I had quickly come to realize how gratifying it was to have the basics of sanitation, food, electricity, air conditioning, and cars. Some families overseas can’t afford more than one car, and the car they have certainly isn’t the newest model. In Korea labor starts young. But even then, many of the people I met weren’t Koreans. There is a version of ‘legal’ human trafficking that’s appalling. Many Pilipino women are coerced into moving to Korea to provide money for their families back home. What they rarely know is the line of work they will endure is an exploitation of their very body. Some perhaps enjoy the work, others do not. As they have signed contracts they are legal subservient to the land lady.

When we make a conscious choice to destroy a home, we do more than break the hearts of everyone involved, but we hurt our Father Abba. Someone once told me “being the person a married man cheats with isn’t so bad. I’m not the one cheating, that’s his choice.” This sentiment breaks my heart. It’s a slippery slope to be one once you start blurry the lines of right and wrong like that. If you can find a way to justify the enabling the destruction of a home, the fall into complete sin is just a blink away. Why do we want more then what we have? Why are we not content with the life we have, the things we have, or the gifts God has given to us? Sadly the answer is found in James 4:2 ESV “You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask.” I am reminded to the Greek tale of Troy. Two countries go to war for 10 years. Allegedly the princess was stolen away and angered one side and caused the war. Alliances came to each side’s aid and as bloody battle after bloody battle were waged both sides lost countless warriors. All of this was over greed, and lust. A woman. Have we come any farther in the last 3000 years? Sadly the answer is no. Human behavior isn’t much different today than it was back then. We still fight, we still lust, we still covet, we still steal what we want.

It’s a strange feeling you get when you know your home has been broken into, or someone strange has been there. Knowing your things were gone through, knowing something you cherished has been taken or tarnished, it’s a horrible gut wrenching feeling. Knowing there has been a deep violation of your home, your trust, your beliefs, it’s hard to turn a negative focus into a positive light. In the heat of the moment it’s very difficult to believe in anything else, but how badly you feel. In the heart of the matter there is a great deal more that could make life far worse, but it’s hard to focus on that when you are metaphorically speaking, hit in the face, or blindsided. When you break your finger, at least you didn’t break your hand. When your home is broken into at least it wasn’t burnt to the ground. When your spouse has an affair, at least there were no kids involved. It’s never easy to stomach any of those things, but the ability to come to grips with how the situation is not worse almost makes the current situation more manageable. The belief that someone has it worse, or you’ve been through worse is sometimes far removed from our thoughts, but often in order to survive the onslaught of attacks, these things could become a saving grace.

The perpetual positive attitude is not usually a given or natural trait. This often takes a lot of time, a lot of prayer, and a close walk with God. This is not always easy, and is nearly always easier said than done. Knowing that this life is temporary, and stuff is just stuff, people are just people, and God is the true importance in our lives will always get you farther in life then you ever thought possible. No matter the storm if you have a strong solid foundation in Christ nothing can remove you. As much as the loss of a loved one, a house, all your worldly possessions hurts, it’s the eternal salvation and life in perfection forever is what’s worth everything we have. No matter where you are in life, whether you’re the one loosing, or you’re the one taking, taking what doesn’t belong to you, or taking away someone’s joy shame on you. Justice will be served. If you are the one loosing, be patient, such as Job lost everything, to be faithful is to be renewed. God will forever renew your spirit, and replace what was lost. If you are faithful not only will God bless you, but He will bless you abundantly. 2 Corinthians 9:8 “And God is able to make all grace abound towards you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in a things, may abound to every good work;” Don’t give up hope when you feel you’ve lost everything, just remember that no matter what you’ve lost, God has the power to renew. Nothing with God can be broken forever. Matthew 6:33 “But seek ye first the kingdom of god, and his righteousness’ and all these things shall be added unto you. Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. God always keeps his promises.

Ladies and gentleman it’s not okay to lie, steal, and cheat. It’s not okay to toy with someone’s emotions. It’s not okay to take what doesn’t belong to you. It’s not okay to want and want to the point that’s your sole occupying thought. In some places I’ve been even electricity was a rare commodity. Women where betrothed and could be stoned to death for adultery. Men could be punished for stealing such as getting a finger cut off or worse. These things are common place in the middle east. So to Americans, by an American, stop being spoiled brats. Instead of thumbing your nose up at others around you, how about you put that nose in the Bible and get a true idea of how to get your compass to point north. It’s not funny to have your heart broken. It’s not fun to have your house broken into, your property vandalized, it’s hurtful, and not necessary. Just be nice, it really isn’t that hard, and I promise, it won’t kill ya.