Shields Up

Shields UP!

Do you have insurance for your home, or your car, or how about life insurance? There are so many promises out there in insurance, but not all policies are created equal. We don’t want to move our money into a place that is just draining our resources, and not actually giving us the protection we need in an emergency. There are so many things we are told to sell us on our insurance policy, but we need to do our homework to actually realize what’s a good deal and what isn’t.

In the case of insurance for your life, and I’m not talking about what you pay for in a policy, I’m talking about the life insurance I like to call fire insurance. Jesus Christ paid the bill for us, and of course I’m talking about our eternal life, not the mortal body. Now, I want to be clear, this isn’t an emergency policy to allow you to do what you want, and right at the last minute you can say, ‘I’m sorry, please forgive me.’ We are judged for all of our actions, and our sins. You have to have Jesus in your heart, and God knows the feelings in your heart. We can’t live our lives how we want to thinking all we need to do is say an I’m sorry and still think we will be accepted into Heaven. Do you believe that Jesus Christ is your personal Lord and Savior, and that you will be made to answer for your sins? When you follow Christ and you allow the Holy Spirit into your heart, you will not live life the same way. You will be filled with convictions, and you will have repulsion to sinful behavior. If you have Christ in your heart you will have a physical reaction to sinful behaviors. You will notice a change within your life, and how you choose to live. This will change the types of behaviors you engage in, the friends you have based on their behaviors, and you will undoubtedly loose friends when you find yourself living in Christ.

It’s important to remember that the Devil will try to give you short-term policies. I can do this sin, and all I need to do is ask for forgiveness. The thing with this idea which is very popular in our society now, is that it’s a lie straight from the Devil. The Devil whispers in our ear pulling us into temptation, trying to get us to follow our desires, and to get us hooked. Our insurance policy that was paid for my Christ covers us, but the catch we have to submit ourselves to the Lord. We must learn the difference between scripture and societal worldview.

We must withstand the fire from above, and below as the Devil will try to hit us with volley after volley. Ephesians 6:16 “In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;” We must guard our hearts and our minds from attacks that come in all manner of shapes and sizes these days. The battle for our hearts and minds wages on, and we must remember that salvation is not just fire insurance, but like a contract we must uphold our end of the bargain. We must look to our own sins, and remember that sin is not freedom. We cannot burn our own house down and expect insurance to pay for it. Thus we cannot sin freely and expect to be welcomed into heaven. Yes the blood of Christ paid for your sins, but a soul truly saves, that truly understands the blood sacrificed on Calvary’s cross has a repulsion to sin. Matthew 26:28 “For this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins.” Keep watch for the predator that tried to creep his way inside. Protect yourself and know that you do have the blood assurance that you will be saved on the Day of Judgment, but salvation isn’t free. We must offer up ourselves to serve the Lord. Our hearts and minds are our payment. When we follow Christ, we know our sins will be forgiven. Remember we must go to the Lord in prayer, ask for the forgiveness of our sins, ask for repentance in our hearts, and ask for protection of our minds. Hebrews 13:20Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant,”

 

 

 

The Big Picture

The Big Picture

Lately I have been feeling a little down about myself. I say that like it’s something new, but the truth is I’ve always had some self-esteem issues. The thing is though, lately it seems I just can’t seem to gain any traction. With everything going on it’s been such a challenge to find what I’ve been looking for. In this day in time it’s crazy to think people are still lonely, and that a world so connected through a thousand different ways, and yet people still struggle to make that sought after relationship with people. Why is it that in a world with billions of people, and the ability to reach anyone in mere seconds, people are still unable to make a connection?

I feel one of the biggest things we do as people is to forget about others. We’ve become so focused on self, that we forget the people on the other side of the keyboard are people. It’s so easy to dismiss someone, not read the tone of a message the way it was intended, or sadly just base your entire search on looks and looks alone. There’s no human connection anymore, and most it seems no longer make an emotional connection. To say people are fickle doesn’t seem to be a strong enough word. The world has become a cold place and I think it’s time we change that.

Since the advent of the cell phone and the SMS (text message) we’ve seen a steady change in the way we communicate. The text message led into social media, Myspace, then Facebook. Eventually the online messenger service faded away and Facebook was all that was left. I remember as a teenager being on the phone for hours. I was able to pick up the phone and call any number of friends and they’d answer, we would talk, and we actually had things to talk about. Today however it seems as if finding conversation is a lost art. People don’t talk on the phone hardly anymore, and now we are to busy to respond back to messages on Facebook. It really drives me nuts when people have their phones set to show when the message is read, or on Facebook when you can see your message has been seen, yet, hours, days, weeks goes by and no response. What’s happened to this world when we see someone taking the time to reach out, and we no longer have any emotional attachment to that friend? I think the reason is actually part of a bigger picture. If I were the Devil, I’d want to drive a wedge in people. If I were the Devil I’d slowly make people more and more selfish by placing a wedge between them. If I were the Devil I’d kill off communication, destroy homes with meaningless online flings, and for those who are lonely, make it even harder for them to meet anyone in real life. If I were the Devil I would thrive in the shadows and use the facelessness of the internet to increase the amount of depression, and self-esteem issues. A place where someone can hide from life and in essence have a separate life in digital form.

As time has passed in my life I have found people are becoming less concerned with how their actions affect someone else. I’ve found people quickly and easily cut ties with others, say hurtful things to one another, and are so quick to judge, it’s easy to do now that you don’t have to see the hurt on someone’s face when you do it. I think that’s one of the biggest down sides to all the faceless communication, is the lack of accountability. You can say anything and hurt someone’s feelings, rip out their heart, but you never have to see it, or hear from them again. The Devil is literally creating a divide in our society. We are easier to be picked off when we are alone. When I look at the national suicide rate in this country it sickens me. When I look at the number of veterans that commit suicide every day, I can’t help but have to pick my heart up off the floor. The Devil can drive a wedge in our lives, separate us from those whom we’re supposed to be closest to, we’re like a gazelle being chased by a cheetah.

I think in order to really affect change we need to rethink how we interact with others. I think we need to reconnect with the human race and instead of staring at the phone, put it to your ear and communicate using that little thing called a mouth. I think we need to get back to feeling empathy for those in suffering, joy for those who are happy, and actually having friendships. I think the term friend is used far too loosely these days, and so is the word love. We no longer remember that love isn’t just an emotion; it’s something we are supposed to do. It’s something that takes effort, and time, and control, yet once we get passed the butterflies and the warm fuzzies, we are reduced to looking for the next high. I think people have become so self orientated, so consumed with gratification, that the long game is no longer relevant. People no longer communicate to learn, or to grow, it’s now ‘how can I be entertained?’ These issues are a systemic problem that has really cropped up in the last 15 years. Sadly as this problem has grown there are casualties.

I think we needed to get back to a place where we are more able to communicate with those we interact with. Social media can be a great tool when used the way it was originally designed. but when we remove the original purpose (to connect with those whom we have lost touch with) we lose sight of why we were there to begin with. When we read something we enjoy, or even something we don’t we should offer some kind of thoughtful words. We should say hello to people, and attempt to get to know them. We should allow our natural curiosity to teach us about other people. When we live our lives in silence, and we don’t engage with others with whom we meet, we are not fulfilling our roll as Christians. We are told to celebrate in Christ together, to fellowships, and to love our neighbors. We are told to bare one another’s burdens, and lift up with the tongue not to tear down. Silence can be just as damaging as negative words. Go forward and think about the people in your lives. Have you kept in touch like you should, have you been there for them when they need it the most, or have you been a fare weather friend? It’s never too late to mend bridges and it’s never to late to avoid calamity. We all have the ability to change lives if we just move beyond our own thumbs, our own stress, and see that maybe there is time to open up more. When I was working full time I was also in school full time, and a full time husband. I always found time to message my friends, check in to see how things were going. It’s all about what’s important to you, and who. We never know in our lives when things may go sour and when they do, we all need people in our lives who will be there to help us through. If you’re not there for your friend when they need you, do you believe they will be there for you? One thing is certain, we all could use a little more love in our hearts.

Lego Therapy

Lego Therapy

Some days are harder then others. For whatever reason we as people have different ways of handling stress, or negative emotions. Some people turn to liquor, some turn to being workaholics, some turn to gambling, or drugs, and while some things are absolutely okay in moderation, some things are not. I’ve known people who’ve turned to drugs, and I’ve known people who’ve turned to sex to hide the pain they are in. I’ve known others who have gotten so involved with work that they no longer make time for anyone or anything else in their life. Obviously some of these are better then drugs, and others in some ways are just as bad.

Last year when I was going through some of the worst emotions I’d ever faced in my life, I found poor relief in alcohol and Ambien. At night when work was over, or even on my days off before I’d go to bed, I would mix the two and would proceed to black out for hours. I wouldn’t remember anything from the night before. I’d wake up in the morning and find I would record myself talking incoherently, sending gibberish texts, and sadly making everything public on Facebook. Obviously in a time of crisis my decisions were less then desirable. I made poor life choices for about 3 months. Eventually my situation would escalate to a boiling point and things would get worse.

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Now, when I’m in high stress times, or feeling depressed I turn to Lego’s. For one person I know, she colors to help her relax and face stress. Now when I have a hard day, or I just need to have a distraction for a couple hours I get a new set, and I build. I put in a movie, and I start building. For me it gives me a chance to clear my mind, and focus on a goal. I have found that even a short term, but a very achievable goal helps me to let go of the things that are bothering me. It releases the stress to see what I can do, what I can create with my own hands. I think it’s important for all of us to find something. There are always productive, healthy ways to handle stress, to handle the worries of the world.

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Finding peace in troubled times can be difficult. Finding comfort in ways that are healthy can be even more troublesome. We often desire things with our hearts that are just out of reach. We allow emotions like pain, and guilt and shame to be the driving force of our decisions and we can easily be led astray in the midst of what can only be described as spiritual warfare. We cannot hope to win the war if we don’t understand how to rest and reset ourselves when we can. James 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” We know that Jesus is the one true way, and when we are able to rest our minds, our bodies, and our souls from the weary days, we can follow the words in Luke 21:19 “Stand firm, and you will win life.” The war is never an easy place to be, but war isn’t easy. Those who are faithful, who are living the life, are always going to be the ones targeted most. This isn’t to say others won’t endure hardships also, but the ones who have Jesus in their heart will be targets for the Devil and the temptations of the flesh start. Psalm 94:19 “When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.”

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War is Hell, and enduring the pull to the dark side is tough. The power of flesh is strong, and the desires we often hide deep down can surface. Know though, that we are all human and we all make mistakes. I have found new ways to deal with my stress, deal with my pain that led me so far astray, but damage was done. I can only hope that in my day-to-day life now, those mistakes of the past aren’t how I’m defined forever. In our pursuit to find our way we will follow the wrong path and find comfort in all the wrong places. No one wants mistakes to be how they are defined or seen, so we must learn to forgive. We must trust those around us who mean for us to be happy, and healthy and safe. Have faith in the Godly council, and have faith that God will give us what we need, when we need it. That includes people in our lives, the tools we need to succeed, and eventually flourish. We just need to be able to move day to day, and come what may. Find ways to handle stress that is productive and doesn’t harm yourself or others. Find the courage to resist what you must, and embrace what you should.

 

It’s Not The Size That Counts

It’s Not The Size That Counts

 Sometimes the world is a huge place. It can feel large and overwhelming. Sometimes you can be the little guy in the boxing ring with a much larger, much more intimidating opponent. When you’re the little guy in the middle of a big fight you can’t always win by brute force. When I’m taking more punches then I’m given you have to think about your strategy. Sometimes all you can do is put the gloves up, protect the face so hopefully the bell will ring and the round will end and I’ll take it back next round. Life’s too big sometimes and you have to make the world smaller.

When you’re going up against a larger opponent you have to think smart, fight smart, figure out their weakness and exploit it. What makes Batman a fantastic character is his ability to read a situation and adapt. While he may not always win every fight, he does learn from them, he rethinks, regroups, and creates a plan. While he was grossly outgunned he managed to go head to head with Superman, and with meticulous planning, he was able to emerge victorious in the fight. You have to learn to read, adapt, change, alter, and use your opponents weaknesses against them.

The Devil searches for your weaknesses. He searches for a way in to hurt you. You can’t win against the Devil in a straight up boxing match so you have to learn to how to fight smarter. Sometimes in boxing you have to learn to take the punches, let your opponent get tired, and then move in for the kill (sort to speak). You can’t allow the Devil to pin you against the ropes. You can’t allow the Devil to get blow after blow knocking you to the matt.

You may feel small, and the world might feel too big, sometimes you just have to focus on a small detail at a time and go with it. When the sounds of the world are deafening focus on something small and soothing. When all you have is your own breath, sometimes that’s what you need to focus on. You can’t expect that every day will be a great day. We can’t expect that just because we are Christians and we believe in God that we won’t have troubles. God specifically tells us that it’s in our faith we become more of a target. We’ll always have a bulls-eye on our hearts and we need to sometimes dig deep, find something deep within ourselves that gives us the ability to fight even when we are the under dog, even when the odds are against us, and even when we are tiny in the great big world, there’s always hope.

Throughout history we’ve seen times when the little guy comes through. We’ve seen when the outnumbered are able to pull off the miracle. If King David can defeat someone full grown men, seasoned solders trembled in the sight of, then every little guy should maintain a measure of hope. The world may get you down and that’s okay, just don’t stay down, keep getting back up, and keep fighting the fight. Romans 8:31 “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be[a] against us?”

 

 

 

 

True Lies

True Lies

A lot of people have been telling me they know what I’m going through. People have been telling me they understand, and they are there for me. Here are the facts, I haven’t recovered, and I haven’t had as many people in my life that have made a difference that I’ve needed. Yes there’ve been a couple, but this is too big for just a small few who can’t be around as much as I’ve needed. I haven’t really been in a good place for some time now. The heart wants what the heart wants, and when it’s fractured it takes time, energy, and patience to heal. The experts say it takes time and it takes distraction, and a rediscovery of one’s self. While I can’t deny I’ve had some amazing things happen like my debt being paid off, I have a roof over my head, and I have a pair of great dogs.

When I get close to someone it seems like they always pull away from me. I’ve struggled wondering why everyone’s always run from me. People say they are always going to be there, till they aren’t. You’d think the more people have up and left, I’d be afraid to get attached. The fact is, it take a lot for me to get attached to someone, but when I do it’s stronger then perhaps even I’d care to admit.

The sun rises and falls and while others around me live their lives, it feels as if mine is standing still. The heart seems to be filled with broken glass, and every time I breathe I start to bleed. It seems like I haven’t made any progress. I wonder why I’ve been given the loosing hand and no matter how I try to change the dealer, I just can’t catch a break.

We may love, but what if we have to keep that love buried? What do we have left when that fleeting moments of loving someone is what we have? We know that we have the love of God, and we know that, that’s supposed to be enough. We know that it’s our flesh desires that get in the way of what’s truly important. While it’s hard to push the loneliness away the hardest part is being in limbo. Do you love the girl? Does she love you? What’s going on with the job? Standing still, the tomorrow so full of questions, so full of doubt. The truest of lies is the lie you tell everyone else, but the lie you tell yourself. The truth is you’re not okay. While many will try to tell you they understand, unless they’ve endured even a fraction of what you have, been in similar situations, that act of comfort seems hollow.

All we are left with is the feeling of helplessness, the occasional sensations of hopelessness, all we can do is muscle through them, and pray for the best. We have to have hope that God knows best. While the nights seem long the truth will set you free. Even the most devout Christians can suffer from depression, anxiety, and moments of hopelessness. It’s not about feeling low; it’s how you handle day to day. Everyone will have days they are down, or sometimes months, and even a bad year. Make sure that even when you’re having your bad days, you stay focused on Christ. It’s okay to have your bad days, just make sure that you keep fighting to move beyond the storm and find your peace.