Tag: love

Giving your all

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Giving your all

Have you ever loved so deeply, cared for someone so much you felt like you gave your whole life to them? Have you ever cared for someone so much when they were gone you felt as if half of you were ripped away? What about when you meet someone new and you feel strongly about them, not love, but a strong desire to know them, to be there for them, what happens when that isn’t reciprocated? I believe we’ve all gone through this at some point in our lives. There’s a strong reaction to rejection and that reaction’s what we’re going to discuss today. This is an uncomfortable subject so stick with me.

Recently I met someone and the more we talked the more I felt a potential relationship might have been possible. I received a lot of positive feedback early on in our communications and it led me to believe something more in time was more then a likely possibility. When the conversation continued I was shocked when all of a sudden it stopped. The conversation seemed rather benign and since it was just about liking particular movies, I saw no reason the outcome ended the way it did. All communication halted abruptly and the feeling sunk deep in my stomach and my head felt like a kick to the face.

Disappointment is a tough pill to swallow. What does the bible say about disappointment? Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” No matter what we face, or the troubles we find ourselves in God will use them for the purpose of good things. We may not be able to see the good in our pain, or the purpose in our suffering, but through all things the Lord is with us. Psalm 42:11 “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” As King David writes in a moment of sorrow he asks God why he feels such turmoil within his heart. He knows God is with him, he knows the Lord will never forsake him, and in all things God is good always. We too must remember that in our struggles, in our times of weakness the Lord of creation is with us.

Having and keeping the faith that no matter the purpose of someone coming and or going in your life is difficult, but the Lord has a plan. While we may feel like we’ve been hit by a ton of bricks, and while this may be literal or figurative, the Lord will see us through till the end. Often times we wonder why someone hurts us, why someone will leave their spouse in what appeared to be a loving marriage or relationship. While there are many reasons and likely personal explanations, that we won’t discuss today, the simple answer is this. Sometimes the innocent can be collateral damage. If this is the case and the hurt and pain is caused by someone else keep in mind 1 Corinthians 7:15 “But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.” If someone walks away from you, if someone has decided to follow or pursue a path that is not one that is inline with Christ, do not hold onto that. Do not allow that departure to be a reflection upon yourself. Do not hold onto responsibilities for what is not due unto you. We must always take responsibilities for the things we played a roll in rather it be good or bad. Always own up to your own mistakes. We must fight the urge to take responsibility for things beyond our control. Do not allow the sins of another to add to the burdens you already carry. As grotesque as it sounds and is, do not be the proverbial sin eater. Do not take upon yourself, which is not yours. Often times when a relationship ends, if it ends with little to no warning, and you are left to wonder why, and what happened, it’s easy to start blaming yourself. While this is something I myself have yet to master, and may never will, it’s important that whether it’s your spouse, your friends, or other close relationships, always remember that if someone walks away from you, you may not need to take the blame, do not take on the sins of anyone but yourself. Only take on what you must. Have faith in the Lord, and believe that no matter who leaves you, who abandons you, the Lord’s promise is to never leave or forsake, because the Lord made a new covenant, and this promise by God is not one that is broken.

Remember it’s okay to love another, and it’s okay to feel a devotion to someone, but always remember to put God first. When you remember to put God first, the rest will fall into place.

Remember Who You Are

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Remember Who You Are

No matter the fire and brimstone you will go through in your life an important thing to remember is who you are in Christ. Remember the promises the Lord has made to us. We know that we will face the worst humanity has to offer, but in that we remain faithful to the Lord. We must remember that we are not to speak with a wicked tongue. In all things we know and value love in our hearts. We must remember that the Devil will try and break us, the Devil will attack us relentlessly until we are on the ground bleeding, crying out that we cannot take anymore. When we are on the ground bleeding, unable to stand and face the bombardment of attacks we must remember whose name to call. We must call out to Christ and ask the Lord above to help us, to deliver us from evil.

Occasionally we may get off the rails. Sometimes we may wander off and forget who we are. Our behavior may leave much to be desired, and our tongue may speak wickedness. We can always find a way back. We can always find our way back home if we follow the light of the Lord. As long as we do so before death there is always a chance to return to the Lord. Luke 23:40-43 “40 But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation? 41 And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss. 42 And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom. 43 And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, Today shalt thou be with me in paradise.” The key is we don’t know when our last day is. We don’t know how much time any of us has on this world. God wants all his children to return home. 2 Peter 3:9 “9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.” Don’t waist what little time we have on this world living in hate, and fear, and allowing anger and a vindictive spirit to poison who we are.

Rise above and treat everyone with respect and dignity even if you do not receive it in turn. This may be one of the hardest things to do but it is something we should attempt every day. Wake up and try to find a way to make someone’s day brighter, a little better. Have faith in God, and live your life to put a smile on God’s face.

 

It Ain’t How You Hit The Mat, It’s How You Get Up

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

It Ain’t How You Hit The Mat, It’s How You Get Up

Sometimes in life, sometimes depending on who you are, you might feel like you’ve been hit and kicked an awful lot in your life. Someone once told me you can only get kicked so many times before you don’t want to get back up anymore. The person who told that to me means more to me then anyone else on the planet. She’s seen more then her fair share of hurt and suffering, and over the last few years she’s had way more then her fair share. It breaks my heart to see her suffering. Recently I was watching one of my favorite Netflix shows and in the show Matt Murdock and his dad are talking about his boxing career. One thing Jack Murdock was known for was how to take a punch. Is that the same for Christians? How well do we take the punch when we fall under attack by the Devils temptations? The song by Chumbawamba famous in it’s own right. Getting knocked down in life happens, but how we get back up defines us.

Tubthumper By: Chumbawamba

I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down

No matter the fight, the hits will come, and we know the greats within the Bible suffered the most. David persecuted and chased for 20 years a mark on his head bigger then the one for Han Solo. Jesus, well, we all know what happened to him. Paul, persecuted, tortured, shipwrecked, beaten, stoned twice, and he wrote some of the greatest books within the Bible. Job, well, Job had a sad story for sure, and yet he emerged victorious because of his faith to the Lord. What about our favorite comic book superhero’s? Pick the greatest of them and look into their back-story. Spiderman, lost his parents young, then his Uncle Ben was shot down on the street. His first real love, Gwen Stacy died awfully because he couldn’t save her. Batman, both parents killed as a child right in front of him. Matt Murdock, blinded as a child, and after a lifetime of training finally became Daredevil. Danny Rand, both parents killed, taken in by a bunch of hidden temple monks, beaten, and tortured as part of his training to eventually become the Iron Fist. Almost every superhero back-story will involve tons of pain and suffering.

For some people trauma can have a huge positive affect on their lives. This is of course after the trauma is faced and dealt with. In Psychology Today this is said “They found that, for many of these people, dealing with this trauma was a powerful spur for personal development. It wasn’t just a question of learning to cope with or adjust to negative situations; they actually gained some significant benefits from them. In Tedeschi and Calhoun’s terms, they experienced ‘positive life changes.’ They gained a new inner strength, and discovered skills and abilities they never knew they possessed. They became more confident and appreciative of life, particularly of the ‘small things’ that they used to take for granted. They became more compassionate for the sufferings of others, and more comfortable with intimacy, so that they had deeper and more satisfying relationships.” Some however have the opposite affect, and that they withdrawal, they become angry, they blame God, or disavow the existence of a higher power all together. The fact of the matter it doesn’t matter what the cause of the pain, it’s how we handle that will define us for the rest of the world to see. Do we want to be considered a strong, good person, or do we want to be considered weak and cruel?

 What does the bible say about getting back up? 2 Chronicles 15:7 “But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.” The good we do in the name of the Lord through our hearts and not for adulation will be brought back to us in the grace of the Heavens and we will be blessed for it. Galatians 6:9 “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” We don’t know how long our harvest will be, how long it will take to go through the fire, but we know, we are promised by God, our sufferings are not in vein. Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” When we are down and we feel like we just got the beating of a lifetime, that’s when we need to turn to God the most, that’s when we need to ask God to help us, take away the pain, help us through, because it’s in that pain that God wants us to be closer to Him, not draw back, not flee from God, but praise God, allow God to work in our lives, and show us our suffering isn’t for nothing.

No matter the pain, the hits, the suffering, the kicks, the fear, the attacks, God is always with us, we hurt, God hurts, we suffer, God suffers, and knowing our Savior is in the trenches with us fighting the fight, battaling to win the war, we can take comfort that in our greatest time of need God will provide, by gifts, but positive things, and sometimes the people put in our lives, but always in all things, God is with us, watching us, and loving us.

References:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/out-the-darkness/201111/can-suffering-make-us-stronger

Throat Punch A Shark

thearrowpreacher2 Comments

Throat Punch A Shark

Swimming in the ocean is a risky business. We’ve all seen some kind of shark movie, we’ve all seen the news and heard about the occasional shark attack. The great white shark is the greatest of predators of the oceans and perhaps the greatest in the entire world. Every single creature to include mankind is afraid of the great white. Although there are fewer attacks on humans by Great Whites than the Bull Shark, it’s undeniable that the Great White is not a force to be reckoned with. If we are to make a comparison the Devil, the serpent that slithered around the world to and fro, the lion searching for souls to devour the greatest hunter of all eternity, is more like a Shark that rises from the depths of darkness and attacks unsuspecting victims. The shark that attacks anything that appears to be pray is indiscriminant.

The Devil’s attacks come from the darkness of the world. The deep trenches of our souls that are littered with greed, lies, lust, selfish ambition, and even the more heinous of sins, murder, rape, abuse, all can be attributed to the evil that is brought out by the Devil. Power, the word itself gives birth to a platitude of mental pictures ranging from good, to pure evil in content. The Devil craves the power and thus takes the lives of anyone He can, of anyone that will fall pray to the attacks from the darkness. The shadow that falls over the land and allows a man to cheat on his wife, allows the man to murder his neighbor, allows a young girl to steal and lie to her parents, the drug dealer giving poison to kids, the sicko who kidnaps and tortures kids for years on end. All of this is the darkness that covers the whole of the earth, and if we aren’t careful it attacks us like a great white attacking a seal from the deep.

How do we defend against the shark of the deep? When we are floundering around the great big blue of the oceans of life, we can be easy pray for the Devil to try and devour us. The ocean can be a lonely place when you’re floating around unaccompanied, but even more when the sun goes down, and the blackness of the night, and abyss of the water turn terrifying. Picture yourself in a life raft, bouncing around on the waves and the small raft is bumped in the middle of the night. You can’t see the aggressor, but you are jolted from one side to another with each bump. The psychological warfare that ensues, every bump, every small splash in the water, what do you do when the psychological becomes physical? What do you do when the shark no longer taunts you, but instead starts to bite at the raft? What do you do when the shark starts to rip apart your only way to stay afloat and you’re in the water! The shark bumps you, rubs your leg, sizes you up, and you know and feel the attack is coming.

1 Peter 5:8-9 “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.” Even when we feel like we are the only one who is going through pain and suffering, when we feel like we are the ones in the vast ocean alone with no one around, we must realize that, that feeling is simply an illusion. When the shark tries to attack from below simply draw back your spiritual fist and punch that Devil Shark right in the throat. Throat punch that shark and watch it scurry away like a scared hyena being attacked by Mufasa. The Devil thrives in the darkness, so when we proclaim the name of Jesus, the light of the world, the Devil cannot remain. The Devil will try again and again to break you, to destroy you, to turn you into a weak little bunny. If we learned anything from the movie Zootopia, we know that even an unexpected little bunny can have more fight then that of a roaring lion. The key to fighting the Devil is never loosing sight of the real enemy. Never loosing sight of the fact that the Devil will try every which way to get in, every way to hurt you, to break your spirits. If you stand firm and you learn how to fight back, the Devil can’t beat you. Obviously if a real shark were attacking you, you don’t punch it in the throat, you actually punch it in the eyes, but who doesn’t like the idea of punching a shark in the throat. The best way to fight a spiritual war is to understand the enemy and understand the weapons at your disposal. Scripture is the best way for all of us to understand how to live our Godly walk, and how to fight the attacks from the deep.

No matter the attacks that come, keep fighting the fight, keep swimming along, and never loose sight of the bigger picture. Don’t let that shark sneak up on you and when it does, give it a nice tiger claw punch to the throat.

The Healing Begins

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

The Healing Begins

As the last week has taught me tomorrows plan is nothing more then an idea. An idea that until the steps begin, the plan is nothing more then faint belief that we actually have control to stick to the plans. A neck brace and painkillers are the highlights of my day. As I begin to settle in to my new dwelling, I watch as one of my dogs goes round after round with a particularly brave, or stupid cat, I haven’t figured out which one yet. I have no idea what my new plan is, or what I’m going to do, but 6 weeks is a long time. 6 weeks before I can drive myself again, and 6 months before I’m back up to lifting strength, and that’s when the hard work will begin. I will have to find a way to get by in all these months without the use of my arms and back I’ve grown so accustomed to. When someone tells you, you will loose the use of something you use all the time, it doesn’t hit you right away, it takes time, it slowly seeps into your mind, and then when you need it, when there’s something you feel you have to do, but can’t, that’s when reality smacks you square in the dumbfounded face.

In retrospect I suppose I knew this day was coming. 7 years ago when my C7 disc bulged the first time and doctors told me I was looking at a fusion surgery then, I built up the idea of surgery for years prior, and now that it’s come I am finding this isn’t what I had in mind. I never anticipated being displaced from my home, being separated from my life, and watching as everything I knew and loved had been torn away, ripped apart, and set on fire. We never fully understand what we are or where we are going, but having faith in a God, the God, our God, that in the perfection of the light, the plan that has been set forth in front of us, albeit treacherous and full of toils at times, is designed to shape us, train us, forge us from the babies we start off being, to soldiers in a war that has been going on long before us, and last on far after we return to the dust. Being a soldier takes months of training, and sometimes longer. Being a soldier for Christ takes years of hardships, of biblical study, and maybe after we’ve learned much, seen a lot, endured hell, then perhaps we have grown enough in our faith to actually teach and preach towards those who need it the most.

A few months back I wrote a blog about love, and responsibilities as an adult Christian and what it means. “It means giving up that piece of yourself that must be in control, that must be held on to in order to protect yourself from harm.” (Arrow Preacher, Pass On What You Have Learned) Healing begins when you learn to love, and allow that love to be the deciding factor on how we treat others. We must learn to let go of the anger, the frustrations, and allow ourselves to be filled by the love of the Holy Spirit. The truth is in positivity, and even towards plans you make is has an affect. The natural energies of the universe producing the aura around us, invokes love or destruction. Find love in the places least likely to find it, even if it means you are the one that plants it there. In all things the greatest of things is Love greater then hope, and faith. Let God fill you, be your light in the darkness, and when all hope seems lost, remember love is the key, and when the seeds are planted with love what you plant shall grow and flourish.

 

Get to the point

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Get to the point

Trust in all things the Lord is with you. Believe that in everything good and bad God is with you. Trust that each trial each test the teacher is always watching. The pull of the dark side is strong and the promises of the world that doing it the worlds way is more fun, is okay because it feels good.

Proverbs 4:14 “Enter not into the path of the wicked, and go not in the way of evil men.” We may not always see the consequences of our actions, of our sin but they are there. We may not always know the wrongs in front of us, but when we don’t listen to the wise Godly counsel we fall into a whole new level of problems. Proverbs 12:15 “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.” No matter how far we fall or go off course we can take comfort knowing that we will be forgiven for our transgressions. We will be forgiven for the mistakes we make.

I had someone tell me once that they needed to live their life the way the best saw fit. That they needed to know they could do it alone. The thing is with all of this trouble we aren’t alone. Proverbs 14:12 There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death” In the grand scheme of life what’s the point? Is the feathers of an arrow the most important part, the shaft of the arrow, nope that’s not it either. The point, the bladed arrowhead that pierces through armor, that draws the blood, pierces the locks that hide the truth from the world, the arrowhead that drives home the point. Christ is the way, the only way, and it’s in that, that we must draw strength. The integral parts of the arrow cannot work without the others. It’s way it flies, the way it pierces, the point of this has always been, the word of God.

The truth is only important if it’s spread around and told to others. The truth cannot be denied as the truth, but can only be accepted as the truth so long as others hear it. The truth as only learned by one is not affective. Yes the saving of one life is worth everything, but if we can save the lives of more we should.

Walk away from the lies of the world, walk away of the sinful desires, the wishes of a sinful soul. Do not fear the light, do not fear the sun, yet turn your back on Satan, and follow the true path. Realize the darkness inside and cast out the demons that mean to distract you, to take you away from God. Be the point of the arrow and drive home the meaning, the mission. Do not fear for the Lord our God is with you. Always have hope, and help will always be there to those who ask for it.

The Pain

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

The Pain

The morning comes as the first text alert sounds off. It’s like a bugle announcing to the world that the suns come up again and the second his eyes open, the suffering begins. The stab starts at the shoulder and resonates like electricity straight down the arm into the fingertips. The tingling of a limb that’s half numb, half live wire. The slightest move the pain spikes to a 9, the deepest of sighs the sting goes across his back and the pain causes every muscle along the way to tense and tighten up. The perpetual sting and shock over and over again becomes exhausting. The years of pain that comes and goes like wolves in the night, predators that stalk it’s pray, lurking around the shadows and striking it’s pray dragging it down to the ground for it’s gruesome bloody kill.

The things that were once easy are now a daily challenge. The lifting of a drink to my mouth now brings fear of dropping it to the floor. What once was strong and sure is now weak and uncertain. The breaking of ones body, the degradation of body is drowning the last vestige of hope. The fight for ones soul lies with the last stand of men at Minas Tirith. The fate of the world rests all it’s hope on a pair of hobbits and a ring. The battle for Minas Tirith only buys time for the real fight. The battle every day we face, the breaking of our bodies, the enemies growling at our doors, the loves of our life being ripped away, our hopes, our dreams, everything we’ve always wanted on this earth ripped away, the battle at the wall. The races of men stand firm to withstand the full onslaught of Sauron’s army. The odds were certainly not in the favor of the race of men, 200,000 verses less then 15,000 before the oathbreakers arrived. Some days it feels like we are always on the defensive, some days it feels like we are outnumbered. Doesn’t it feel like the battle continues and the casualty count keeps piling up and the reinforcements are nowhere to be found?

The dangers of constant attacks is the hardening of ones heart. How do we remain kind, and gentle when the world beats us to the ground over and over and is unrelenting? It’s easy to be angry, and it’s easy to hate, it’s easy to push people away when you fear loosing them, or when you fear hurting them, or worse, to stop them from hurting you. Ecclesiastes 7:9 “Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” God doesn’t want us to fall to the Tempter. Go forth Jesus said, John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” Matthew 28:19 “Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:” This world will give no peace, this world will offer no respite from attacks. This world will beat you to the ground and will continue to do so from the day of your birth, to the day you are called home. It’s not for man, neither you, nor me, to allow anger to dictate the terms within our lives. James 1:20 “because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” We are told and called to love our neighbors to include our enemies.

Job’s family was murdered, then his livelihood in his land and cattle where destroyed, then the servants, then the rest of his family. When Satan wasn’t satisfied he approached God again and God was pleased with Job, and Satan struck Job with sickness, boils from toes to head. Even as Job held his dying wife she told him to Curse God and die with her. He did not; he did not sin with his lips. After loosing everything he owned, his entire family, and then his health, his friends turned their backs on him. His friends vial and cruel to him in his time of need. God blessed Job for his faithfulness. God restored Job and all the pain and suffering Job endured was not for nothing.

We must understand the rules of the game. From childhood we are shown fairytales where the princess and prince live happily ever after. We are shown movies where the good guy gets the girl in the end. The fact is, our bodies will fail us. Our worldly desires, the things we may love, the product of our good works no matter how faithful we are can always be taken away. The fact is the world we live in isn’t ours. The world we live in is a lie told to us to lure us into a false sense of security. The world is that of Satan. He owns this world because this is a world of Sin, of fallen grace. There are no rules. There’s no fair play. Satan dropped the gloves a long time ago and fights bare knuckles to do as much damage along the way as he can. The end game for Satan is to prevent you from staying in graces with God. Satan’s end game is to pull you from God, deal enough pain to force you to acquiesce and give up on your faith.

We may go through periods in our life where we mirror Job, and sometimes our lives are that of Job. Sometimes our entire life is a battlefield in which we take one hit after another, never ending, a no relenting force that just keeps coming. Sometimes we are attacked because we are of the strongest of God warriors and sometimes it’s to test our faith, to allow us to come to God with our toils. However you are being tested and forged in fire, know that you too can be a sword tempered in steel and forced to undergo the heat and the beating of iron and fire. What kind of sword will you be on the battlefield? Will you be one that cracks under the pressure of constant hits, or will you remain strong, remain resolute in your enduring faith. Never give up hope for the suffering of this world albeit long is in fact only temporary, and that’s the faith we must have to ensure our future within tomorrow is secure in heaven, the eternity of peace and love.

 

 

 

 

 

The Green Meadow

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

The Green Meadow

The sound of water flowing is a peaceful pillow to close your eyes too. The smell of the meadow sweet and slightly bitter of the grass fills your senses. The bright of the cloudless day overhead, only shadows are from the nearby trees. The sun radiates on your skin, the warmth, the touch of that light, the heat that fills your entire body reminds you you’re alive, the day is high, and the joy that the sun brings is one that is rarely felt. The joy of the sun is only matched by the joy of a kiss. Not just any kiss however, the kiss, the kiss that feels like you’re touching a live wire, the one that sends electricity throughout your entire body, the one that feels like a static charge in your hips, your arms, your very soul. The joys that one kiss brings, the joy of the kiss, and the heat, the joys that feeling are unmatched by anything else.

When you feel warmth and the joys of life, the gifts from God are not to be underestimated. The breeze that provides the slight relief to makes the sun bearable. The joys and gifts given to by God are much like the sun, much like the warmth and the breeze. If we do not understand those gifts, if we take those gifts for granted we may miss the point. The hope we feel day to day and the warm meadows we find ourselves in, we must understand that when we misunderstand, misuse our gifts from God, they can and will be taken away from us.

As some who destroy lives are also given gifts of pleasure, those gifts are those of the Devil to keep the lie going. We ask how so many who do so wrong are happy. That happiness is an illusion that God will eventually right the wrongs when the time is right. All these things, the puzzle pieces that are put together will fit when God deems they fit. The grassy meadow our piece, our joy, can turn to burned ash in a moments notice. The fighter inside tells me to fight for the just, protect those who are weak, fight for the injustice, and never give up being one of Gods warriors. Find peace in the butterfly, the beauty of a spider’s web, the snores of a favored dog, the sounds of the chirping crickets. Quiet your mind and hear the sounds of the wonders of the world around you. Trust in love of God and marvel in His glory.

The Bullet

thearrowpreacher9 Comments

The Bullet

The warm handle, the textured grip, the smooth trigger, and the textures of the Smith & Wesson he holds in his hand. He looks up to see his world crumbling in front of his very eyes. The true loves, the lies and beliefs gone up in smoke. Smoke is a funny term to describe the situation my friend was in. He holds the 9mm in his hand and waits till no ones in front of him. He looks down at the gun one last time, he watches himself lift the gun to his shoulder, and he takes a breath, and holds while he squeezes the trigger. The blood splatters away from the wound as he sees it gushing from the hole in his shoulder. The oxygen leaves his body quicker then an exhale. The scream in the distance is a loud shriek that would curdle anyone’s blood. The blood from his shoulder is warm, and thick as it coats his hand that’s trying to cover the hole. He starts to see dark, and the world around him fades away. Death he thinks is warm, and gentle. Slowly drifting to a new world. The females hand covers over his chest and his eyes close, he looses everything he knew. He didn’t recognize himself anymore, and as the bullet passed through his flesh, the fire washed away the old him, and a new person would be born.

He would claim to hear the voice of God in the ambulance. He would claim to have apologized for his mistakes, and God he claims forgave him and sent him back. He claims the voice was loud and thunderous and brought forth feelings of hope and terror at the same time. He gasped for air as the life returned to his body. The stabbing pain in his back was that of the ribs that had fractured by the bullets exit. He’d later find out that the severely deformed the 3rd rib, fractured the 2nd and damaged the 7th before it exited his shoulder blade. Along with the collar bone being chipped the bullet would leave shrapnel behind in the lung as it worked its way out. The bullet punctured the lung deflating it right away, which is why he lost consciousness so quickly. He would beg for death in the ambulance hoping to return to the warmth and peace he just felt. His request to die would go unheard as the valiant paramedics worked diligently to stop the bleeding. He would end up loosing 6/8 units of blood before the ER was able to stabilize his wounds.

The remainder of the night was a blur for him as visitors came in two at a time. He doesn’t remember much, just quick images, glimpses, vague memories somewhere between reality and imaginary. The pain he would feel during recover would have him begging for death. The morphine drip in his arm would get blocked for several hours and his pain levels would hit a 10 and stay there for hours. He’d beg for relief and the nurse kept telling him for over an hour he needed to breath, the problem was every breath he would take would be sharp stabs into his lungs, every rise and fall of his chest would beg for relief of unconsciousness. It was over an hour before the care team found the medication wasn’t working in the bloodstream.

The days after would leave him learning about himself. His actions would leave him questioning everything he knew about himself. He would spend the next several months combing over his bible, combing through scripture, learning about himself and Gods plan for him. He hopes to one day change the world and if not the world his only little corner of it.

Recently he would be reminded a few times over of his mistakes. The pain everyday would be a constant reminder of his mistakes. The truth that he survived and was forced to live with the images of his mistakes every single day, yet some people in his life would bring it up, remind him in hurtful ways regularly. James 5:16 “Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” The lack of faith from the people that used to care for him is the hardest part. The truth between good and evil, the truth between right and wrong, the truth between selfish and selfless is somewhere in between.

He’s asked me to pray for his life, his goal to reach out and stop this from happening to anyone else. He knows he can’t ever take it back, but he wants to at least right his wrongs. He created his own nightmares; his own demons when he pulled that trigger and he prays God will use him to prevent any tragedy from happening like this again.

“If you wanna make the world a better place,

Take a look at yourself and make a change,

Hooo” Michael Jackson/ Batman

I Need A Hero

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

I Need A Hero

Holding Out For A Hero : Bonnie Taler

Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where’s the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need

[Chorus:]
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong
And he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ’til the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life

 

 

So, here’s a fun fact about me, I suffer from white knight syndrome. I want to feel like I am useful, and when I see someone I care about in distress I have an almost uncontrollable urge to swoop in and save the day. I have had many loved ones, many friends in serious need, but I often find myself left feeling my efforts went unnoticed. Romans 15:1-2 “We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.” We who are strong can be used by God to do great things. We are called to lift up our neighbors in time of need. This is even more evident for the ones we care about. John 11:41-44 “41 Then they took away the stone from the place where the dead was laid. And Jesus lifted up his eyes, and said, Father, I thank thee that thou hast heard me. 42 And I knew that thou hearest me always: but because of the people which stand by I said it, that they may believe that thou hast sent me. 43 And when he thus had spoken, he cried with a loud voice, Lazarus, come forth. 44 And he that was dead came forth, bound hand and foot with graveclothes: and his face was bound about with a napkin. Jesus saith unto them, Loose him, and let him go.” Jesus was very fond of Lazarus, and he did something uniquely special, he raised someone from the dead, someone he cared for deeply.

 

No matter where we are in our lives we can always be a hero to someone. If you looked someone in the eyes would you see their pain? What can you offer someone that might help them? A hello, a friendly hug, a couple bucks of spare change to help out, a card to show them you’re thinking about them? There’s so many little ways you can show someone you care. Why, just a few days ago I made a mindfulness glitter jar for someone I loved. It’s small, it doesn’t take a lot of time or effort, but it’s the thought and effort that does go into it that means a lot. While I received a thank you for it, it almost seemed empty, but the fact is, that doesn’t matter. If we do things for validation we’ll always be let down. Being validated by man is only a worldly validation. Doing the right things and knowing that the things you do are pleasing for God, that’s the only validation you should ever need in your life. You can’t go through your life constantly disappointed in your lack of validation. People will never be as thankful as you want, or even see you for the effort you put in, however, God will always see what’s in your heart. You have to do good because it’s the right thing to do, you can’t do good because you want to be recognized for it. You must learn to let go of the worldly need for acceptance and realize that the Father in Heaven is all you will ever need. Doing things for the betterment of the world, and for the glory of God is the true meaning of being a Hero. Who are you going to be?