Tag: life

Resistance is Futile

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Resistance is Futile

DSC_5964 The Borg, an alien species both cybernetic and organic,bent on the path to perfection assimilating species by going from one world to the next. This wasn’t done through peaceful means, more like universal destructive domination. You see the Devil isn’t to dissimilar then the Borg. While the Borg want perfection and are willing to gain it at all cost, the Devil wants total domination over all. The Borg use the tagline Resistance is Futile, meaning no amount of resisting will matter, the Borg will defeat any enemy and assimilate every race to add it’s biological and technological distinctiveness to their own. The Devil tries everything he can to draw us away from God. He tries to get the world to assimilate to his will. Like the villain Zod from superman, “Kneel before Satan” is what the Devil wants.

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As the world’s viewpoint has evolved, changed, we have become more open minded to horrible things, horrible ideals. Once upon a time it was unthinkable to divorce unless there was provocation. In ancient days a woman having an affair was punishable by death. A man could also be punished. Today, people marry and divorce like eating a piece of candy. People have a casual relationship with lies, and being faithful. Gang’s are on the rise, war within our own society is rising. There is rioting, looting, crime, and so much hate that this world is

Revelation 20:10 “And the devil who had deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur where the beast and the false prophet were, and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.” We know that in our case resistance is not futile. The Devil will try to fight and draw you away, but the truth is you have a choice. You have a choice to be apart of the resistance against the Devils attempt to take over and trying to achieve absolute power. Revelations 20:1-3 “Then I saw an angel coming down from heaven, holding in his hand the key to the bottomless pit and a great chain. And he seized the dragon, that ancient serpent, who is the devil and Satan, and bound him for a thousand years, and threw him into the pit, and shut it and sealed it over him, so that he might not deceive the nations any longer, until the thousand years were ended.” We know how the war will end, and we know that we have a choice. While the Devil will whisper in our ears and tempt us down a dark path, we must remain vigilant and continue to fight because we can. While Captain Picard is talking about his fight with the Borg and has his own personal vendetta against them, he made this speech, “We’ve made too many compromises already, too many retreats. They invade our space, and we fall back. They assimilate entire worlds, and we fall back. Not again! The line must be drawn here! This far, no further! And I will make them PAY for what they’ve done!” Don’t retreat over and over again. Stand your ground against the Devil and never stop.

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In the days of Rome, the Romans would invade new territory and would largely stay out of the inner workings of the new locations. The Romans would stay out of the affairs of the people unless it directly affected matters of state. The crucifixion of Christ was due to the Pharisees drawing false charges against Jesus. They gathers people by bribing them to come before Pilate and forcing the leader of the Romans in the city to choose death for Christ. Pilate wanted to stay out of the affair, but public uprising was a real threat to his power. Based on the decision of the people and only the people he allowed the people to choose death, and to kill Jesus instead of a known murderer and thief Barbarus. The Samarians however would invade countries and they would force assimilation of the new territory. They would force the women to marry Samaritan men and thus forcing compliance to change beliefs, and the children would be raised as a Samaritan child. Resistance is not futile however when it comes to our fight against the devil. We can resist, and we have our Savior to help us do that.

No matter how bad the odds look or how bad a situation may seem, God can get us through any hardships. Deuteronomy 20:1 “Then I saw an angel coming down from heaven, holding in his hand the key to the bottomless pit and a great chain. And he seized the dragon, that ancient serpent, who is the devil and Satan, and bound him for a thousand years, and threw him into the pit, and shut it and sealed it over him, so that he might not deceive the nations any longer, until the thousand years were ended.” Make sure you always stand tall, and be ready for anything. Resistance is not futile and you can always fight back, for as long as you draw breath, there’s always hope.

 

 

 

 

Hit The Pavement

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Hit The Pavement

We cannot just stand by and watch as injustice, hardships, or destruction destroys the lives of our neighbors. How can you claim to be a Christian and sit idly by and all you do is shake your head and say, ‘shame’. No longer can we just sit and hope it just passes us by. Christians have a responsibility to do what we are able to bring peace and hope to those who have none, for those who are poor, or for those who have lost everything for reasons they may not be responsible for.

Iridescent By; Linkin Park

 When you were standing in the wake of devastation
When you were waiting on the edge of the unknown
And with the cataclysm raining down, insides crying save me now
You were there impossibly alone

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation
You build up hope but failure’s all you’ve known
Remember all the sadness and frustration

And let it go, let it go

And in the burst of light that blinded every angel
As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars
You felt the gravity of temper grace falling into empty space
No one there to catch you in their arms

No matter the devastation we face we know that as bad as it gets we know that even if we don’t have someone to catch us, or someone to hold us during our time of need, we know that God is always with us. While sometimes that seems like a small piece of consolation, we need to remember that people are fallible and in our sorrow knowing that God, the creator of all is still suffering along side us every day, should grant us comfort. The Angels from above are with us, and protect us from harm. In the wake of the tragedies that have fallen upon the United States in the Hurricanes, the anniversary of 9/11, and so much more. Every day citizens of this great nation experience hardships and tragedy. In those times we must remember it’s so very important to never quit, and to keep pushing forward.

Dealing with hardships and pain isn’t ever easy, but it’s something that takes work. To accomplish anything worthwhile we must put boots on the ground and pound the pavement. We must work because everything we want requires work to obtain it. James 2:14-26 14 What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good[a] is that? 17 So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. 18 But someone will say, “You have faith and I have works.” Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. 19 You believe that God is one; you do well. Even the demons believe—and shudder! 20 Do you want to be shown, you foolish person, that faith apart from works is useless? 21 Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered up his son Isaac on the altar? 22 You see that faith was active along with his works, and faith was completed by his works;23 and the Scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness”—and he was called a friend of God. 24 You see that a person is justified by works and not by faith alone. 25 And in the same way was not also Rahab the prostitute justified by works when she received the messengers and sent them out by another way? 26 For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead.” We must always show our faith, show our gratitude by doing good works in the name of Jesus Christ. We cannot say we are truly living if we don’t do work to make things better. We don’t often get a chance to right a wrong, but when bad things happen in our lives, we are given that chance. It’s never too late to try, and it’s never too late to work on correcting choices from the past.

While the world will continue to beat you down and as relentless as it can be you always have a better way. So make sure you work for what you want. Work for the changes you want to see in your life, and work to make the world around you a better place. Do the good work that God asks for and do it with pride. Be an ambassador for Christ and show the world the meaning of good works and Christ’s love.

 

 

The Longest Yard

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The Longest Yard

 September 12, 2004 a day that rings out in memory every year. No matter the time that’s passed the vivid memory floods back every year.

DSC01025The crisp morning air and sun shines down on the empty streets of Ar-Ramadi. The mission starts led by my primary truck. I am the second truck in the convoy and the mission is simple, the scouts provide the quick reaction force in congruence with the Marines that would be doing the door to door raids of several blocks of apartment buildings. While the mission seemed simple the fact is the mission didn’t go according to the plan. Crossing the bridge over the Euphrates River the city looked abandoned. The hair on the back of my neck stood up and as we made the right turn at the fork. The sound came over the radio “IED IED IED!” I saw it, and blew past. The procedure was go out 100 meters, create a perimeter and let the guys in EOD do their thing. Before we made it to the 100 meter mark the truck in front of me disappeared in two massive explosions and smoke, dust, sand, and shrapnel flew into the air causing the road beyond to vanish from sight. From what I knew it looked like the truck had been destroyed. It was at that moment the bullet hit my door and the following moments slowed down. The screams from within the truck of orders and commands, information of targets, directions of travel, and the sounds of gun fire from both overhead and in the distance being directed towards the two trucks.

The 15 minutes of hell on earth left a lasting impression. The half a dozen RPG’s fired towards our location, the battle damage the two trucks endured from the bullet’s, IED’s, and RPG’s was extensive. While my truck took the majority of the damage ending with little to no fluids remaining, blown tires, a loss of power steering, and a main weapon that had a catastrophic failure in the middle of the firefight, the result was clear, God was looking out for the 1/9 scouts that day. While there were several close calls and even after we were credited with several kills, not one of the scouts was wounded that day. No matter how many times I’ve tried the images of that day have stayed with me. We were blessed that day and no amount of luck will ever be able to stand toe to toe with blessings.

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We often look back on our lives with 20/20 vision, and within that we start to question our path. I should have done that, or I could have done more, and any combination therein. In our daily walk we have to learn to trust in ourselves to know we made the best decision possible with what we knew at the time. No matter what problem we are left facing there will always be opinions of a better way to handle it, there will always be questions as to why we did what we did, or why we felt the way we felt, but the truth is, it’s easy to criticize anyone. We will never be free of second guessing, and especially when we see so much failure in our own life, we must learn to let it go. We cannot save everyone. We cannot always save ourselves. We can’t allow ourselves to be overcome with desperation, with sadness, with helplessness, and we must always realize that the past is cemented for all eternity, thus forcing us to do only one thing, and that’s learning from the past.

Remember everything we go through, all the pain, the suffering, and even so much as the good things in our life are just building experiences. When I was a supervisor in security and there would be an event that took place after the excitement was over, the paperwork was done, I often sat down with my officers and did an AAR or After Action Review. I asked them what they thought they did well, and what things they would change, but more importantly what could be learned to improve on for the next emergency or disturbance. No matter what we face in our world we know that God is always with us and we need to have faith in that. We must remember that we are a broken people but there is hope, the light of Christ. While we will make the best choices we can to ensure they truly are the best we must be walking in the light of Christ. Don’t loose sight of the compass that points to God. Have faith in God and our daily choices being made with the thought of ‘What Would Jesus Do’ will allow the scrutiny to be at a minimum.

Sometimes in the dark, sometimes when life is heavy and we can’t get away if feels like that last yard is a mile away. Let me reassure you that no matter the distance you have yet to go, the journey doesn’t have to be yours alone. The distance may seem more then you can go, especially when you feel like you can’t take another step. God will grant you strength to get by on your own, and if the strength isn’t granted to you, God will put someone in your path that will help you bare your cross. Don’t allow the past to dictate terms in your life, and don’t allow today’s problems to weigh you down so much you can’t walk. There’s no shame in asking for help, sometimes that’s exactly what we need and it’s exactly what’s expected.

 

 

Service With Honor

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Service With Honor

In life sometimes there is one person we will connect with on a very special level. Ever since my time in this world I haven’t had a connection more then that I feel with my service dog. Riley has been with me for the last 6 years and in that time a connection has grown. Every day I go out she goes with me. That time together we have spent a relationship has grown for the both of us. She has never left me, she has never not been there watching out for me. She knows when I hurt and she does everything within her power to make that better. Her training has taught her to alert me when anxiety levels are high. She knows to watch my six anytime we are out in town. She alerts me if people walk up behind me, she protects me by passively standing in between someone and myself. She can walk with me while I’m using both hands to push a shopping cart and always knows just where to be. She doesn’t like when I’m not around just as much as I don’t like it when she’s not. I’ve grown to depend on her and she depends on me. In our life we will often have pets throughout our life. Riley isn’t my pet, she’s my best friend. When I come home if she’s not been with me she’s super excited to see me. She can’t wait to give me hugs and kisses. Yes I taught my service dog how to hug people. I will be her entire life, and even though she will only be apart of my life for a short while, the impact she’s had on me will be forever.

Riley has seen me through my darkest days. When I returned home from my injury last year she was there to help me when the quiet was banging on my eardrums. She was there for me when I cried. She laid in my lap, and she’d lick my face when I cried. She curls up with me at night providing warmth and comfort. While she’s incapable in stopping every nightmare I have, she’s always a constant presence for me when I wake up. Riley’s ability to take hand signals from me, her ability to listen to simple instruction, and then complex instructions. Her being out with me every day prevents me from falling into a situation where I could potentially be taken to the hospital. Though she’s not been able to prevent every anxiety attack, she’s certainly tried.

I was recently asked what to military dogs do? I’ve heard people say what a service dog is not, and say what a service dog doesn’t do. I’ve heard that a service dog would never ‘sniff’ anyone. I’ve heard service dogs shouldn’t need ‘spoken direction’. This couldn’t be further from the truth. While not every service dog requires focus like diabetes alert dogs, or seizure dogs, the ignorance of our society astounds me. Recently I learned that a local hospital I frequent often has a policy that only a small particular group is covered under the rule, Amputee, Seeing Eye, Hearing Impaired, are the only dogs officially covered. However the policy is all dogs are to be accepted so long as the dog isn’t causing any issues, and is behaving. The problem with this policy is the liberty it gives the employees to discuss services dogs. Recently I heard an argument between two employees about the definition of what service dogs do or don’t do. It was loud enough to interrupt my conversation with someone about my service dog. Military dogs are trained extensively prior to going into war. The military trains its dog to detect explosive materials and weapons. Military dogs can also detect drugs and other contraband. These dogs require direction, just like any other service dog. Even the best-trained dogs can have their issues. I recently saw a movie about a military bomb dog, and as you watch, you’ll see that no matter what a dog’s trained to do, a dog is still a dog. They will suffer from the same things people do. My dog for instance doesn’t like elevators or bridges. I’ve never understood why she doesn’t like walking bridges, but her fear is what it is. I have learned to work around her fear understanding we all have them.

 

Service with honor

If my verbal direction sounds like a problem, to that I say ‘Stay in your lane.’ People in our society have to have an opinion. People have to not just have an opinion they have to state their opinion, and instead of directing the appropriate questions to people who know, they argue and bicker. Another thing I’ve noticed is how some people will ask ‘why do they need a service dog, I don’t see anything wrong with them?’ This question upsets me a great deal. While I’ve studied mental illness, the affects of PTSD, and the cause of anxiety, if that person as a panic/anxiety attack, you hope they have their dog. Feeling that way is horrible, speaking from experience. Panic attacks cause an increase in heart rate, blood pressure, trouble breathing, and can often manifest dizziness. The calming affect from animals is evident through science. Trained service animals still take some kind of commands. Bomb dogs need direction, even hearing and other kinds of dogs all take commands.

All I ask is if you’re going to make assumptions on service dogs, perhaps you need to do some research first, or ask someone with a service dog. Please don’t pass judgment on those with service animals, and please don’t assume just because you can’t see any disability doesn’t mean they aren’t there.

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For those of us who’ve served we serve with Honor. We allow those who have served our country to suffer with PTSD, with the nightmares from the life we’ve lived. From today as we remember 9/11 we remember the fallen, and the survivors. We can only hope that we have learned from our mistakes, and remember service comes in many ways. The years after tragedy the ones who are left should be honored, the ones that have fallen are lost but never forgotten. No matter the season, no matter the day, those who serve write a blank check in the act of that service. Firefighters in New York, Police, and the New York Port Authority, wrote a blank check on this day 16 years ago. Soldiers have been writing that check for generations past, and generations to come. People who work in the services put themselves in harms way and we take off our hats to remember them. We learn to pick ourselves up, and we united in the months following 9/11. We’ve fallen wayside in the following years, and we ought to remember to slow down in our lives and we need to remember the simple truth, we are all human, not black, not white, not any other race, we are humans. We are also all Americans. We have a commonality far greater then what we live today. We all have Jesus Christ and in front of the cross we are judged the same. We are always on equal footing in front of God All Mighty, and thus we must remember to set our personal differences aside and join on equal footing to fight and defend this nation. We honor the dead by fighting, and we are not done fighting.

I SIT ALONE

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I SIT ALONE

I sit alone, so alone, the pain inside aches and pains that make taking a breath sometimes the most difficult thing I do. I never know what my tomorrow brings because everything I had and everything I knew was pulled away, ripped from me in the most violent way. No pain so emotional has ever hurt so bad, has ever crippled me, but this pain brought me to my knees.

Why I cried out, why me, why again? The past has a hold of me and I just can’t quite let it go. Is it the thought of loosing the woman I loved, or is it being alone? Is it that it didn’t happen once but twice? I don’t truly know what the answer is for myself.

I have done everything I can with what I’ve have at my disposal. The experts say there are a few things that have to happen to allow healing to happen naturally, and in a healthy way. Since then, I haven’t yet found my footing on my path to a new me. A new me, I don’t even know what that truly means. As I’ve struggled to look within to find the man I want to be I haven’t been able to figure that out because I don’t know who I am anymore. The last year of my life has put into question every notion I had about the world and my place in it. I haven’t been able to make headway in moving forward with my life and perhaps that’s the reason I feel like I’m moving in slow motion, I feel like I’m not just moving in slow mo, but I in quicksand. The realistic point of view is things just haven’t worked out yet. The man I am to become is still a work in progress.

While I truly don’t know what my future holds, or what I’m supposed to do, or the life I’m to live, I have to believe that God has a plan for me. A plan to succeed not to fail, not to fall. When someone you love hurts you in that way it can make you question everything about yourself. The darkness can be overwhelming but at some point you must learn to let it go. We must let ourselves heal, and to do that we must tell ourselves we are worth more then our failures. We are worth more then the sum of those who have hurt and abandoned us. We are worth more then the way we have been treated. We can be treated like garbage and thrown away like a beat up used toy. While divorce can cause a whole hurricane of negative feelings, all sorts of traumas happen to people that can cause all sorts of problems. And while I’ve spent a lifetime fighting the fight, I know that sometimes we just need to rest.

We can’t be angry all the time. At some point we have to let go of what fuels our fire and allow the healing to begin. No matter the time that goes by, the ability to start healing, to start letting go is always a possibility. While the pain, the loneliness, the hopelessness, the guilt and fear rage on in our heads like a CD stuck on repeat, we must somehow learn to break the cycle. We all need someone to help us bare that cross when it’s too heavy. We all need someone in our lives to help us along the way.

While I sit alone I wonder where I go from here. While I sit alone I question my place in this world. While I sit alone I miss so much in life. While I sit alone I miss the comforts of companionship. It’s almost like a drug, you have it for so long and it’s gone all of a sudden, gone in the blink of an eye. How could someone you care for, care for you, and betray you like the years prior didn’t matter at all. The truth is, the answers as much as I’ve wanted them done matter. The why isn’t going to change the past, and no matter how hard we may want to, the inevitable realization, life still continues. While I may be alone in my walk without someone, I know that God, my God is with me always. While I can only see a small baby step ahead of me, the future is still left wide open. God will help guide me on my way, and one can only hope that when the time is right, I won’t be alone anymore. That I may be gifted with the family I’ve tried so hard for, only to have them ripped away from me. I’ve never in my life been more disappointed by my loved ones, and as this lesson has been a difficult one to learn, I have learned that even those in our lives we look up too, even then, they can turn out to be someone completely different, someone we don’t recognize. While people come and go out of our life for better or worse we must learn that as there’s a season for everything and we must learn to accept that. If someone value’s you, you will be a priority to them, and if you have someone important to you, you can’t take that for granted. I’ve been close to death a few times and if I’ve learned anything in all that time it’s life is short, and we must value the gift of time we have, and cherish the people you love. We never know when that time may run out.

I live this life

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I live this life

I walked down the street just to see where my feet would take me. The darkness surrounded the alleys and the fog rose from the ground with an unstoppable force, and before you could blink the world was a damp gray in which you couldn’t see yourself. We walk our lives in a fog sometimes. We walk because we must, we breathe because of necessity. We all have cravings and some understand the nature of them, while others do not.

When we run, what are we running to or from? The life I’ve lived has been one of hardships, of pain, of suffering, of loss, but also of great joy. I’ve had the privilege of being married to two wonderful women. God gave me both to live my life with. The ending of both marriages has been described as awful and disappointing, but the truth is, as much as God hates divorce, we cannot control the path of other people. God gave me those lovely women for something in my life, and now it’s about time I stiffen my upper lip, and move forward. I look back and I see the mistakes written on the walls. I look to the future and like the street I walk it’s full of fog and darkness. I don’t know where I’m going because I cannot see. I feel around the dark blindly. I can feel the walls around me, I can feel the texture, and I can feel what my gut is telling me, but as I move forward my past although defines me, it has shaped me in the clay, and I now move forward every day to show myself what I am capable of. I wondered the wilderness for a year now the air feels crisper. The change of the hills, the trees, the air, and the wind shows me that my scars and my story are far from finished. As I walk through life I know that Jesus is still with me. A scream in the dark and followed by an answer, a journey not yet done, but a broken man who Jesus has wrapped in the healing love of the Lord and although the wounds start to heal, the scars are left behind to remind us of the hell we’ve battled through.

As I look to my future I know, I now understand that I’m not alone. Your love my God has seen me through. Your love my God has protected me from the darkness that’s surrounded me for so long. The fear of tomorrow and what pitfalls may be lurking in the terrifying darkness, are subdued by your love. Jesus my savior has promised to never leave me, and no matter what I endure for the cross on this Earthly plain will be rewarded in the next life. You know my heart, my effort, you know the price I’ve paid, and my Love for the cross, my heart that has fluttered yes, but remained true, will one day be rewarded with piece. My God is hope we all must need. When the fog of war surrounds us and we just cannot see, call to the God above and let the Angels, the Warriors of the Heavens come down with sword in hand and battle the very demons that threaten us. “Tonight I’m gonna fix my eyes, on the only hope that satisfies, my heart.” (The One I’m Running To, 7eventh Time Down) As my hope and my life has stretched me to the max, and when I’ve felt as if I’ve reached my breaking point, God is still with me no matter what battle I face. When we reach for an understanding to what we just can’t grasp, the answer is always the same. Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father died for our sins, giving up eternal hope, overcoming death itself. To believe in Christ is to live a life where there is no more sorrow, and no more pain. What’s a life worth that we can say when this life ends we can live again?

As one song reminds me:

Where my heart will take me, Russell Watson

 It’s been a long road
Getting from there to here
It’s been a long time
But my time is finally near
And I can feel the change in the wind right now
Nothing’s in my way
And they’re not gonna hold me down no more
No, they’re not gonna hold me down

‘Cause I’ve got faith of the heart
I’m going where my heart will take me
I’ve got faith to believe
I can do anything
I’ve got strength of the soul
And no one’s gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I’ve got faith
I’ve got faith, faith of the heart

We must allow God to continue to give us hope, that no matter how long our road may seem, how dark it is, or how much pain we endure along the way, believe that faith in Abba, that we can’t be broken, because we know who’s in our corner. Have faith in your heart in the one King, the maker of all. Have faith that one day the fog will lift, the sun will rise, and a new day dawns.

 

No Guts No Glory

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No Guts No Glory

Without risk there is no reward. Without storms there is no rainbow. Without winter there is no spring. Without the ability to scorch the fire there is no forging of steel. In order to build muscle you must work out, that process isn’t easy, it can be time consuming and painful. What about love? How do we move forward when we suffer that kind of loss of our spouse or family? In our lives we will loose people. It’s not a question of if, but when. Recently I was watching an episode of The Flash and I heard this quote, “You can either embrace the change and move forward, or fight it and get left behind” (The Flash) As much as change can be hard and even devastating at times, we must either embrace the fire, or allow it to consume us. When we suffer a loss of a job or a loss of a loved one, when plans change and we get hurt, we can only put one step in front of the other and allow the natural order to prevail. “Part of being human is learning how to deal with the unexpected… to risk new experiences, even when they don’t fit into your preconceptions.” (Geordi La Forge)

 When we try to understand the world, we must first understand and come to grips that the world is a much larger place we could ever know. We must understand that God is big and we are small. We must understand that the world is far greater in both directions we could ever see. When we look at our world, when we figure out life and that nothing happens without action. We cannot just sit by and pray things get better. We must learn to put boots on the ground. Ecclesiastes 11:4-6 “He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap. As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything. In the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good.” We must learn to get our hands dirty. The plants will not grow with just prayer alone, we must dig, and sow. Prayer that the roots take, and that water comes from the heavens. When I was in Iraq I often prayed that we would find the guy we were looking for, that being said we had to be the ones out looking. We need to take this into our lives. Ecclesiastes 9:7-14 “7 Go, eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a merry heart, for God has already approved what you do.8 Let your garments be always white. Let not oil be lacking on your head. 9 Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain[a] life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun. 10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might,[b] for there is no work or thought or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol, to which you are going. 11 Again I saw that under the sun the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to the intelligent, nor favor to those with knowledge, but time and chance happen to them all. 12 For man does not know his time. Like fish that are taken in an evil net, and like birds that are caught in a snare, so the children of man are snared at an evil time, when it suddenly falls upon them.” We must learn to take what we have in our lives and appreciate it. How often do we take for granted what we have? The grass isn’t greener on the other side. We saw what happened when the Devil tempted Eve to see what the grass was like on the other side only to find themselves removed from Eden.

The world we know has evils in it and we must watch for the snares that can trap us and prevent us from moving forward. Those snares may wound us and try to utterly destroy us, but when we are watching the world around us, and if we are paying attention, the traps might be revealed as more obvious. When the end comes for us all we will look back on our life and we will go over every good and bad decision we’ve ever made. When we get to the point of our own death it’s too late to consider our actions. We must try to better ourselves and work towards an end to every situation that would be pleasing to God. We won’t always succeed, and we will falter and make mistakes, but being a good Christian means owning up to them, and trying to make them right. It takes guts to stand up in front of others in the wake of our failings and admit to being wrong or falling short. To right our wrongs takes action, the true act of repentance. We must learn to embrace the now in order to ready ourselves for tomorrow. Just because tomorrow may not fit with what we want, or what we think we should have. Don’t allow our preconceived ideals blind us from reality. Sometimes people are mean and cruel, and sometimes they hurt us. It doesn’t always feel like a blessing, but in the end, it might turn out that way. Have patience to deal with the knocks and make sure your hands get dirty, and make sure your boots are on the ground, but never forget to pray. Praying is still always the best course.

Remember to always weigh your possibilities, and if the ends justify the means and they fall within biblical principles, anything worthwhile having is worth the effort to get there. If the juice is worth the squeeze then if you want the juice, start squeezing.

Do you know what time it is?

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Do you know what time it is?

The clock ticks and we take our breaths. The time we have a predator that stalks us, the invisible enemy that we cannot see. We are born and from the first breath we take that day life begins we never know when our last breath will be on our last day. As our days are numbered we are always racing the clock. Our salvation is only good if we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and savior. The key is doing it before your end comes, because of our limited time we cant waist what time we have. Our salvation is a precious jewel that must be cherished, and we must respect the gift given to us, and never take that time for granted.

Ecclesiastes 7 “A good name is better than precious ointment, and the day of death than the day of birth.2 It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart.3 Sorrow is better than laughter, or by sadness of face the heart is made glad.4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth. 5 It is better for a man to hear the rebuke of the wise than to hear the song of fools. 6 For as the crackling of thorns under a pot, so is the laughter of the fools; this also is vanity.[a] 7 Surely oppression drives the wise into madness, and a bribe corrupts the heart. 8 Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. 9 Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart[b] of fools.10 Say not, “Why were the former days better than these?” For it is not from wisdom that you ask this.11 Wisdom is good with an inheritance, an advantage to those who see the sun.12 For the protection of wisdom is like the protection of money, and the advantage of knowledge is that wisdom preserves the life of him who has it. 13 Consider the work of God: who can make straight what he has made crooked?”

Living a life in the moment and not taking them for granted is part of the recipe for a happy life. Allowing God to be in every moment, every tick of the clock of your life, and making choices that fit the Holy Spirit. Sometimes we look at our life and we find joy in the worst of circumstances. We look to things to make our lives better, often to make us feel good, or replace heartache with bad choices. Those choices are only temporary. The hardships we face should point us towards God like a loaded gun. When we are happy how often do we go to God in prayer? How often do those sick and dying turn to God for help, for comfort? When we are in sorrow or hurt, we must remember that all bad things are either to teach or push us. All things are allowed by God no matter if it comes from others, or ourselves. Bad choices may be avoidable if we use our time wisely and give glory to God. Don’t allow ones self to waist the precious time we have. Instead use our time to glorify God we never know the day of our last breath, so don’t watch the hands tick by in front of you. Have faith even when we don’t understand the pain, or the plan.

September 1, the Month of Hell

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September 1, the Month of Hell

No matter the time that goes by some memories stay engrained. There are times in our lives when the world seems foreign, days that defy what we know to be true. We have our normal days where the small things that happen still fall within ‘normal’. We have so few days in our lives that are so far out in left field that no matter if we want to or not we remember. For those people who survived 9/11 in New York City they will never forget. For those who survived Boston, San Bernardino, Paris, the list goes on, they will forever have those images in their heads. As for me, my month, the month where it seems everything goes wrong, is September. September is the month of so much death, destruction, loss, and hopelessness it’s tough to see beyond the 30 days. The 30 days pain that come every year, makes the tears flow to the floor.

The only thing we can do sometimes is count the breaths from our chest. Sometimes the world is so heavy we can’t take a step, but we can take a breath. How we make it through anniversaries of such pain, of such destruction is to find support, find friends to be with, find distractions, but take a moment to recount the event, remember it, but focus on the fact you made it through. That horrible car accident, that loss of a loved one, that near death experience, or loss of your dream job, whatever the case may be just remember God got you through it. Whatever your going through right now just remember if you aren’t through it yet, God is pulling you through as we speak.

We may love to take a whole month and hibernate, forget it ever happened, sadly we all know that’s not at all possible. As the song goes, if we wanna make a change, take a look at yourself in a mirror. How can we make a change when we can’t see the light? How can we make a change when we can’t feel the hope? How do we make a change when we can’t get up? There’s no easy answer. Some days the world is going to feel too strong. All you can do is hold on tight. The pain hurts us deep into our very bones, but when we can’t see the light, that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. Recently I watched a movie for the second time and as I thought about it I couldn’t help but draw similarities to an actual event and how I was feeling. The Finest Hours a story about a tanker out in the Atlantic that broke in half during a horrible snowstorm. The Coast Guard was not equipped to have two tankers break apart in the same day. While the crew of the SS Pendleton struggled to find a way to keep the ship from sinking, Bernie Webber takes just 3 men on little more then a lifeboat out to try and find and rescue the abandoned crew. The story is based on the actual event that occurred on February 18th 1952. In what seemed like impossible odds the grace of God was present. So many things went wrong and yet most the survivors and Webber’s crew made it back alive. The biggest thing was Webber’s little boat lost the compass. In the middle of the ocean with no compass in the middle of the storm they still managed to find their way back. What do we do when we can’t seem to find our compass?

Battling the memories of the past, nightmares that like clockwork start to take numbers to invade my mind. When we don’t have the compass to point our path, and when the darkness isn’t lit by a single light what’s left to walk by? Faith is sometimes all we have. Faith is not always easy to have but if we are to trust in the Lord walking by faith even when we can’t see, our broken hearts, our broken spirits can be lifted up and healed by the Lord. In the month of September throughout my life I’ve lost my best friend who died unexpectedly, I’ve nearly died in an ambush in Iraq, I was shot and nearly died, I watched the love of my life walk away from our marriage and didn’t look back, I lost my job I worked so very hard for, I watched friends walk away and never looked back, and as I’ve lived only a short while on this planet, I have lived this life growing ever more afraid of what the month of September had to offer. Other tragedies have befallen me in this tragic month, and the fear I have of the month seems more and more justified. Every year the month starts to come around and I fear what lies in my path that will try to destroy me. After 33 years the only thing I can say is I’m still here, I’m still fighting the fight, I’m still standing albeit battered and bruised, broken in some ways, but I’m not down for the count, not yet.

As September will mark the 1-year mark that my wife left me, that she left our family, and I struggle to hear anything through the storm. I have watched this year as bad turned worse, and continued to spiral downward towards the spikes at the very bottom. As my strength would allow me to climb, claw my way up the mud and the muck. Barely able to see my next point to grab, I reach out and dig in, fingers bleeding, I continued to reach out and climb. When I made progress I would get hit with falling rocks, the handgrips would fail and I’d slide backwards not to the spikes, but I’d loose a lot of ground. No matter the traps, the attacks, the setbacks, I never stop climbing. Praying to God every inch climbed, and praying to God in every inch lost, I praised God through the entire storm. Some days the war seemed like it would take me, and there were days I prayed it would. There’s no doubt that this last year has been a struggle. And there’s been days when I prayed to God to take me home. There were days I cursed God for not taking me home last September. I cursed God for not putting me out of my misery. I questioned God why am I so important to keep me here? No matter how much I wanted to I never got my answer, and even today, as I consider where I am, where I’ve been, where I’m going, I question the why. I have learned that my only hope is to trust in the Lord. Trust in the lord in the middle of the war, in the middle of the storm, because Gods love like angles wings protect maybe not our body, but our soul. Isn’t that what the war is all about? Isn’t the war for souls and not for the bodies? Genesis 3:19 “19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.” Our bodies came from dust, and will one day return to the dust. Our souls, our essence of who we are is what survives, what the world is actually fighting for, the only thing worth fighting for.

Romans 7:14-25 “14 For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. 15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good.17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. 22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, 23 but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.” While lengthy this verse talks about the war we face within. The battle between good and evil on the inside, and the battle between the righteous and the sinner on the outside isn’t a war that’s easy to see the sides in black and white. No matter what war you face, no matter what side you find yourself on whether it be the side of the angels, or the side of the demons, the fog of war makes life difficult sometimes. We may trust people who come into our path, and sometimes that trust is misplaced. In the last few months, I’ve struggled a great deal with this. I’ve met a few people who’ve come into my life, and seemingly they were there as a potential relationship, but as quickly as they came into my life and they made me believe I was special, and their interest was high, they up and vanished without a trace, actually it was more like they decided to cut contact, block every communication we had, and never, or as it seemed, never looked back. There is always an explanation and although I don’t have one, and as I spent time reviewing the conversations, going over what happened again and again in my head, I would never find answers. 1 John 4:1 “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.” Not every person who comes into your life is a gift from God. Sometimes they are wolves in sheep’s clothing that are actually sent by the Devil to test you, to pull you away from the path. In each of our lives aspects of our path will be tested, and we see that in Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

While the constant attacks on our lives may be the occasional test of God, it may also be attacks from the Devil to pull us away from God. The more attacks someone may go through the more likely they are to abandon ship. Someone once told me, ‘the more you get kicked while you’re down, the less likely you are to get back up.’ While I completely understand, we must try to remember the essence of faith. As September is my month of Hell, there are millions around the world who have their own September. As each of us has our own battles to face, we must learn to find other soldiers in Christ. We must learn that we are not to fight these battles apart, instead we fight these battles with God as our General, and soldiers in Christ as our small squad, we can fight and face any challenge or crisis we may see in our days. 1 Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” We should choose our friends wisely. Choose our partners the love of our life even more wisely. My bad choices helped to lead me down a bad path. A path that would gift me with nothing but pain and while I do not wish ill will upon anyone, either of my ex-wives, any of the friends who have left me, any of the others that I’ve talked to who built my trust just to watch me fall when they where done. Finally I leave with this last verse, 2 Peter 2:9 “Then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials, and to keep the unrighteous under punishment until the day of judgment,” We will be rescued from our trials when we have stayed par for the course. Every trial we face is like a grade in school. We cannot move forward to the next until we’ve completed the pre-requisite. Moving us forward too soon would only result in our failure. And while we may fail in our day to day lives, it’s important to know how to pick ourselves up, and continue to push through, punch through, never quit and never surrender to the darkness. We must never allow the darkness to overtake us because falling to the darkness comes at too high of a price. Our very souls, to live in eternal bliss, or damnation, we choose how we want to live our lives, every second of every day, with every person we meet, and every action we take. “I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime.” —Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

 

 

 

Do you know the Savior?

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Do you know the Savior?

While we live on this world there’s a lot of influence. The world that’s trying to get you, get you to believe in one thing or another, believe that marriage is just a piece of paper, believe that lying and cheating is okay. The trick is our society has been tricked. The Devil, the deceiver is the real trickster. Years ago there was a piece written by a man, a radio host named Paul Harvey. In this recorded monolog Harvey a 3:22 minute recoding telling the world, a prophesy of sorts, that tells of the fall of the United States. In this recording Harvey depicts how the Devil would destroy the world by whispering lies about what is okay to do. “I would caution against extremes in hard work, in patriotism, in moral conduct.” He goes on to say later, “I would convince the young that marriage is old –fashioned, that swinging is more fun, that what you see on TV is the way to be.” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3Az0okaHig) No matter what the lie or trick is, we must be able to tell the lies from the truth. We must be able tell the difference between the lies and truths. 1 John 3:8 “The one who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work.”

 We can walk our entire lives with blinders on, the darkness surrounding us like a fog we just can’t escape. Not knowing the savior can be like walking off the side of a cliff. The author of 2 Corinthians 11:3 was afraid that the wake of the Devil may take hold of those who where heading the early Christian church. The verse goes on to say, “The one who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work.” The Devil sought to break the bond between man and God, and succeeded in the garden. Jesus Christ’s arrival repaired the bond broken and paid the blood debt to eliminate the bond sin had on our eternal life. Sin is still very real, and the price of eternal life is still very high, the question is, do you know who paid the blood debt for your sins, do you acknowledge the need for a savior, or do you believe you can pay the price all on your own. Or, worst of all, do you not believe in this and do you think all of this Christian stuff is antiquated nonsense that keeps people inline, when we now know better because science can prove everything? The truth is, I’m a man of science, and faith. I know there’s a God because when I almost died last year I heard God forgive me for my sins. I was sent back from the brink of death with only one mission, to spread the word of God to all who would listen. God is real, and Jesus Christ was the Son of God who sacrificed himself to free us from sin, delivering us from eternal evil, granting us the way, the only path to heaven. Jesus Christ died, and rose again in fulfillment of the scripture. Over 500 people saw Jesus, to include his own disciples who under the penalty of a brutal death never once denounced his existence and died in torturous agony. Most people wouldn’t undergo what they went through for far less, let alone the vast majority of Christ’s disciples. Conspiracies are hard enough to keep intact, let alone 12 people from all walks of life, facing death themselves, and the 500 others who Jesus appeared too. Eyewitness accounts gone over by some of the United States top forensic investigators who started off as Atheists have converted to Christianity after they realized the evidence was irrefutable.

So do you know your Savior, because if you don’t the clock is ticking, and we never know when the bill comes due, and trust me, the bill always comes due. Don’t get caught without the truth in your heart. The penalty for not having it, well, eternal damnation just doesn’t sound fun.