Tag: judgments
Expectations
Expectations
Do you ever ask yourself who you’re trying to please or why? People have so many expectations and it’s nearly impossible to meet them. You may meet or exceed them sometimes, maybe even most of the time, but how quickly we as a people judge more harshly in the failures and forget about the successes. We place unfair expectations on people and the moment they make even the slightest of errors they are ousted as friends, or even in marriage. We forget that we are all sinners, and we all make mistakes. Yes some mistakes are worse then others in our point of view, but in God’s eyes they are all equal. There is no sin greater then another. We forget the importance of forgiveness and grace in our lives. We place unfair expectations on people and then get mad when they don’t live up to what we want. How quickly a person will flip flop as the wind blows. Thankfully God doesn’t do that to us.
I can remember my time in security. We would go weeks or months without a single incident, but the moment anything bad happened security was the first to be blamed for not being around to stop it from happening. Weeks or months without any major incidences soon accounted for nothing, but how quickly things changed in the attitudes at work.
I’ve been putting some thought into what I want in a relationship. As I have watched people come and go, it’s dawned on me that this concept of expectations has become one of fragile eggshells. The slightest miss step and the egg breaks, people get angry and walk away. To that end it begs the question, are we loving one another like we are called to in scripture? We judge other so quickly, often without any background information, or even a moment to clarify what was said or meant. We find in scripture those who judge are actually wrong for doing so. Matthew 7:1-3“Judge not, that ye be not judged. 2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. 3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?”
We as a society, if it weren’t enough to judge so quickly, and flippantly, we not only judge the smallest things, we’ve become a world of shallow physical judgments. While the argument can be made that attraction is important, I submit we have grown to an unhealthy idea of what attractive is and what it isn’t. From movie stars, models, and most others famous people, they now become the standard to what beautiful is. The truth is we are all beautiful. We are wonderfully created by the Lord of the universe. We are special and we must realize that as a pillar of our faith. Christ bled for, died for us, and if we are to be honest about what our expectations should be, it’s simply just to love like scripture commands. It’s time we start to treat people with respect again because we are all the body of Christ connected under the same cross, washed by the same blood.
We must be patient, understanding, and grow closer, not separating over small squabbles. We often miss such amazing blessings because we dismiss others for little to no good reason. Can you take a moment to think what would happen if Christ dismissed us at our slightest transgression? We would have no hope if it weren’t for grace. We are so consumed with “what’s going to work out best for me?” We do this instead of asking what we’re doing, delighting yourself in the Lord! We ought to give grace to others, and take time to truly get to know others, and we need to be patient and stop judging, and placing expectations someone could never live up too. If you’re willing to walk away over the smallest of things, what will happen when someone lets you down with the bigger issues? We are all sinners, we will always fall short, and we must ask ourselves how we would want others to treat us when we falter slightly. Do we want forgiveness, or do we want to be treated in the ways we treat others? Shame on us for being so judgmental that we waiver like a sail in the wind.
It’s so easy to have open and honest communication. It’s so easy to say how we feel when someone lets you down. We don’t live in love even though that’s what we seek. We want others to give us the benefit of the doubt. We want Jesus to show us mercy. Are we living with hearts of mercy, hearts of grace, hearts of love? We aren’t a perfect people, so before you pass judgment on someone quickly, take a moment to think about our expectations and if we are fair and just, or if we are wicked with a cold heart. 2 Corinthians 12:8-9 “Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” Grace is something we should all show more often. We must learn how to communicate our feelings rather than walking away. When our actions hurt another person, we must learn that even when Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” Speech is not the only form of communication. Body language is 70% of communication. When we turn and walk away we are saying a great deal. We must learn to trust in our faith, and we cannot pass judgments on others based on our own past experiences. One thing I see a lot in relationships is how someone brings baggage from their past and place their insecurities on others. We are told not to recluse ourselves, and it’s important to remember that because God wants us to fellowship with other brothers and sisters in Christ. Do not isolate yourself, and do not force isolation on others. Life up and do not tear down.
Medic
Medic:
The medic is a soul of compassion and much like a physician also has an oath.
THE MEDIC CREED
My task is to provide to the utmost limits of my capability the best possible care to those in need of my aid and assistance. To this end I will aid all those who are needful, paying no heed to my own desires and wants; treating friend, foe and stranger alike, placing their needs above my own. To no man will I cause or permit harm to befall, nor will I refuse aid to any who seek it. I will willingly share my knowledge and skills with all those who seek it. I seek neither reward nor honor for my efforts for the satisfaction of accomplishment is sufficient. These obligations I willingly and freely take upon myself in the tradition of those that have come before me.…These things we do so that others may live.
When tragedy strikes 911 is called. EMS comes with their gurneys, their first aid bag and begins to provide aid. As a Christian we are to lift up and to never tear down. We are told in 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 “4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[b] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” I’m not saying loving like this is always easy, but easy or hard, it’s a command by Jesus Christ to love everyone. No, you do not see the command in this scripture, however, you do see it in Mark 12:30-31 “30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” I put this in red because in most bibles this passage is in red. It’s red because it’s from Christ himself. If we are to love God, and to love our neighbor’s, then we must do what love is, and if love is what’s found in Corinthians, then we need to be doing that for everyone we meet. That’s not a suggestion it’s a command. Part of loving is being there when the need arises. Everyone will stumble and fall in their daily walk, but when they do, it’s important to be there to help them back up. Carrying one another’s burdens is important as a Christian. While Jesus was walking to the Skull, he fell three times. He had help carrying his cross and thus showing us we all need help to bare the cross we carry. No one person can go through life and never accept help. As a body of Christ when someone suffers alone the body suffers. We are God’s hand and feet, and we must treat a suffering Christians as if they were apart of us.
In Spiritual Warfare the Devil is trying to destroy us. Are we willing to allow someone to succumb to the Devil? If we are to busy to talk to, or lift someone up, we need to remove something from our lives because we are NOT living in God’s will. God says bare the burdens, be the hands and feet of Christ. Galatians 5:14“14 For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” In loving your neighbor as yourself, and knowing we all carry a cross to follow Christ, we see a second part to scripture. Galatians 6:2“2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” We are all medics for the Lord. We all have the tools, and the ability to make a difference in someone’s spiritual life. We don’t have to have money to help, or food, or connections, sometimes all the help needed is to be a warm hug, a loving word, and prayers. Scripture teaches us how, we only have to read it to learn.
Be looking for ways to lift up others. Be looking for ways to help. Be willing to take the time to talk, to listen, to laugh, and to cry. Being with whosoever needs and fulfilling the law of Scripture. We know trials and trouble will come, but we also have been taught how to navigate the storms.Matthew 4:4 4 But he answered, “It is written, “‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” If you take care of yourself by studying scripture, keeping a healthy prayer life, and allow the words to fill your heart and mind, you are less likely to require a medic. You may only need a friend.
DO NOT SELF MEDICATE
If you do not have Jesus in your heart, or if you start to walk away, you may find yourself on a path of destructive pain. Often times when people turn to substances to make themselves feel better they are attempting to fill a void in their heart or life and that hole can usually be found as a Jesus shaped hole. The second possibility is if you are running from painful feelings that you don’t want to deal with. Either path to addiction is one that will only end in pain. People hide their pains in addictions of substances, alcohol, drugs, work, sex, gaming, and even now roll playing to escape reality. If you find yourself suffering from addictions I urge you to you seek help in dealing with this problem. Addictions don’t just affect you, addictions affect everyone around you. Self medication is never okay, but turning to Christ, and those who follow Christ, that will save your life.
There will always be help within the Church. To each person a divine gift is bestowed and together we can handle anything the Devil may send our way, because we have Christ with us always. Keep love in your heart as Christ so loved us, he Died for us. Love others, and be there for others in their time of need. Do not be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help for we all fall, we all sin, and we all have struggles. Do not be dismayed for there is hope as the Son rose, we shall always live with the light. Remember, we are God’s hands and feet, but we do nothing of ourselves. The one with the power the true one and only Medic is Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is the one who will save you, He is the one who can heal your heart, He is the one who will fill the void of emptiness you feel. You must ask Jesus into your heart, and call upon him to save you. He is the Medic, the cure for sin, the savior of all.
A Multitude of Sins
A Multitude of Sins
Here I sit alone in almost complete silence. The teal glow on the wall from the lava lamp, and the glow from the computer screen are the only lights on in the house. There’s no music on, no television, just a fan in the dining room I can hear. The sounds of the keys being clicked own is loud in the silence of the house. Occasionally I can hear one of the dogs yawning, or licking their paw, but it’s quiet.
What do we do when we are alone in the dark, no sounds, just the sound of our own thoughts? Where does your mind take you? Mine takes me to a place darker then that of my home right now, a multitude of sins and mistakes. How did I get here my mind asks. How has my life turned out this way, and where the heck do I go form here? The truth is I don’t know. People ask me every day what’s the plan, where are you going to go, what are you going to do? You see, people that know me best know me as the planner. In an earlier post I talked about your emergency preparedness kit and some of what’s in my hiking bag. For the first time in my life I don’t have a plan. I haven’t had a plan since September 18th 2016. That day all of my sins came to the surface, they came with a reckoning, a force strong enough to knock me off my balance and shake the very foundation in which I built my life. Up till that point in my life I had found myself to be relatively successful. I was happily married, doing well at work, doing great in school, working towards a baby, everything I wanted in life. I had the greatest in-laws anyone could ever hope for, a great sister in law, but fate it seems follows it’s own course, not what we want. In just a matter of a short bit of time everything I loved, the life I spent years building would crumble around me and I would loose everything. The foundation cracked and a cavern opened up under me and swallowed me whole. At the time I felt as if I’d never get out. At the time I felt that my pain, my suffering was the end of me and sadly, wrongly, I felt as if I deserved it. I felt as if my sins were coming back and I had to pay for them. I felt as if I deserved to suffer, to undergo pain and suffering.
A life of trauma built up and tucked away in a nice tidy little closet, away from the world so no one would see. The pain inside buried so deep that the mask I wore every day was good enough to fool even those closest to me. So many times I felt the sorrow the shame bubbling up from the deepest pits within myself, and as skillfully as a superhero beats down a lowly thug, I put that stop in the rising pain, and forced it to return back to the darkest places of my very soul. Compartmentalization is such a wonderful tool when dealing with pain. It can be very helpful as a short term coping mechanism but when used for trauma, the idea is to revisit the trauma soon after the crisis is over, and face the memory head on to come to grips with it. The trouble with that is when the day never comes to revisit, it’s locked away, never forgotten, but never addressed either.
What do we do when the foundation we built our very existence crumbles and falls apart? When our foundation is not as solid as we thought it was, and our deepest fears come true? When everything we’ve ever wanted is taken away, when our deepest fear is realized, and every trauma we’ve ever buried breaks out of prison with an angry vengeance the perfect storm is realized and bad terrible things happen to our minds.
When the hurricane hit me I wasn’t able to maintain my footing. I didn’t know what to do, where to go, how to handle, the one and only thing I knew was the word STOP. I knew it had to stop. I felt I deserved what happened to me. I felt I had a right to the pain because I had sinned. I had never lived up to be what I should have, and I earned my place. The memory slipped away after actions were taken. What happened to me? What was going to happen to me? So quickly control was fleeting, a wild chaos was quickly snapped back to a hazy reality but not without consequence. No one ever warned us this might happen. No one ever taught us the repercussions of a lifetime of running. You can’t run forever, sooner or later the past will catch up to you and when it does, it wants its payment with interest.
It would take months to realize the new reality, which was my life. It would take only days to realize how bad of a decision that had been made without conscious control. We all have to answer for our sins, and we all have to pay for them. The hard part about dealing with what we’ve done is forgiving ourselves. For me it’s always been easier to forgive others for the bad things they’ve done, but to forgive myself, you’d have better luck pulling a tooth from a T-Rex. I can never take back what happened that day, but to understand more then just the surface problem, to see beyond the facts of that day, it takes a deeper look into the human soul.
As we walk in our lives we see those around us who get caught in addiction, self-harm, physical disorders such as eating disorders, but do we ever try to address the problem? The problem on the surface is the immediate issue, but the problem I’m talking about is that below, the root of the problem. When people suffer for a long time even when we cannot see it, it can often manifest itself in ways to run and hide from the source. Eventually running is all we know. Eventually that life becomes a new reality a safe comfortable reality in our own minds. Even if from the outside it looks destructive and harmful, no doubt it is destructive and harmful, but life itself is often through the eyes of the beholder.
Survivors of alcoholism, or self-harm, suicide attempts, addictions to sleeping bills or other drugs, they know the route, but it’s everyone around that becomes the new problem. How many spectators become judgmental of the victim? Let’s use suicide as an example. If someone tries to end their life, what is the normal reaction from those around? Some are in shock and disbelief, others flock to the person showering with love and sympathy, but there are others who feel anger and distain. Suicide is often looked to as the coward’s way out, the easy way out. The anger comes from the idea that it hurts the ones who are left behind. So suicide is often known as selfish. The problem with today’s society is a lack of education on various mental health problems. There are a lot of assumptions and negative connotations that exist that doesn’t make them true. As a society we need to learn to answer pain with Love, answer hurt with Love. We’ve become so quick to push people away who cause pain, but never ask if the pain was intentional. Let me tell you, if someone’s facing addiction, or suicide, you are the last person on his or her minds. Some may leave a note behind, but the idea is never to inflict harm on others, albeit the end result is pain and suffering. Ironic that the idea to end ones own pain and suffering it will inflict that upon others, and yet that thought never crosses the victims mind. Colossians 3:12 “12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” We know that when there is pain doctors are compassionate towards the victims, EMS have a bedside manner of caring and love, but when someone in our family or friends harms themselves anger, and venomous reactions take the stage. Isaiah 49:13 “13 Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.” God knows when to be compassionate and when to be hard on his children. Psalm 51:1 “1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.” Is it so hard to forgive others? Is it so hard to realize we all make mistakes and we all harm one another at some point in our lives? Forgiveness isn’t something that is supposed to take time, (realizing this is the reality) it’s something that is supposed to come from the heart. Luke 23:34 “34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.”
We must learn to dig deeper to see the why and not just assume. We must learn to Love first and have compassion to those in pain. We must learn to forgive and understand the sinful nature of mankind. These things are not easy, but are necessary. No matter what the world says about some stigmas the facts remain in scripture. Education is the key to being a compassionate person, understanding the driving forces behind a particular mindset can not only give you incite, but help when you come face to face with it yourself. We all know someone who’s tried to commit suicide, became addicted to something, had some sort of mental health crisis, but do we really ever know the why, or the how? How did we treat them when the initial crisis had passed? Our jobs as a Church body is to love, have compassion, not to tare down someone after they already hit rock bottom. Love not hate, it really isn’t that hard with practice.
If you are the surviver of such an addiction, or suicide attempt, know that tomorrow the day can be brighter. As the Book of Job teaches us no matter how bad a situation may look at the time, tomorrow, God can bless us and change our future in an instant. We must maintain love and faith in God, in both or blessings, and our hardships.
The Arrow Preacher 