Tag: jesus

Silence Shattered

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The silence shattered by the sound of silence. The raindrops of thoughts and feelings hitting the tin roof inside your mind. The quiet shattered with no peace. The lost, the pull of the world, teasing and tempting medicine. What makes the pain go away? What makes the cold bearable? The eyes that burn with what the world offers. How can one fight? How can one turn their backs on so much? The sounds of the self medicated ? The sounds of the drugs that pull at your veins. The sounds of your tongue craving the drink. How do we turn from the cold loneliness of the empty bed? Just one night of lust, just one night of puffs. Just one jacket from the store, just one more hand of cards, just one more. The lies planted in the brain, still remains, within the sounds of lies. In the cold and damp, the shiver in the night.

Do you not know the lies grows, the cancer spreads, it cannot be contained. The hurt, the pain, the suffering we self medicate turns to rot we leave inside us. The darkness, a cancer grows.

I am dead in my darkness. I am dead with no hope. The darkness spreads suffocating me. The waves crashing over me. The hope is gone, the solitude inside my mind filled by voices, the world calling at my cravings. The screams bellow inside my mind suffocated, the air taken from my lungs. On the outside calm and cool, who would know? Who’s gonna know the turmoil inside? Fear, doubt, disbelief, weights that hold. What if there is no God, or Jesus? What if this is all there is? I don’t need that God, the god of rules. I don’t need anyone. I walk alone, I need no one.

The serpent whispers the lies, the temptation seems like good fruit to eat. The waves crash upon me, lie after lie. Worse the lies I tell myself. I cannot swim, I cannot feel, I cannot see my way out.

So many lost in their sins. So many lost in doubts and the path they walk. How can we escape? How can we find a better way? Jesus. Jesus is not just a way of life but the only way to the father. Jesus is the replacement who took our punishment for our imperfect sinful nature. He gave up his life for us. He paid the ransom for our souls. The whole inside our hearts we try to fill, the pain we have, the hopelessness we feel, Jesus heals. We need not walk alone if we let Jesus in. We can have hope, and we can have the one true light, to shine upon the monsters inside. We need not suffer for nothing, but rather allow Jesus in to make us better, to show us a different way, a better way not within the sick and diseased darkness of this world. Jesus, the only way to the father, the path to our father in Heaven, rather than the prince of darkness. The struggles are real, the pain of sin is real, but there is real hope. Jesus, the friend of sinners, the light of the world, the great physician, the perpetuation of our wretchedness. Let go of the fear, doubts, and disbelief for the truth of Christ. Trade pain for hope. Hate for love. Anguish, for peace.

I Lost Myself

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I lost myself

We all struggle sometimes. Struggle of the heart, struggle of temptations, struggle with the breaking of the body. Struggle with sin. The world is dark, but we have forgotten. The world seems lost, but again we forget. 

I have wandered in faith, unsure where to go. The world attacks, a never ending, relentless barrage of catapulted rocks, and arrows, sent from the dark army of the Devil. My armor holds, the shield deflects and absorbs the arrows. 

The Devil is cunning, swimming around, stalking His prey. As strong as we think we are, it is an illusion. We are nothing without Christ. We are nothing without the protection of the Holy Spirit. We only remain strong, as long as we are with Christ. Christ said, 

Matthew 7:24-27 “24 Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: 25 and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.

26 “But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: 27 and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall.”

We mustn’t build our foundation on sand. When the Devil finds a crack or weakness in the Armor, he exploits it expertly. How there have been so many who’ve been swallowed and devoured by false teaching, fake doctrine, imposters, who have infiltrated and begun to spread like the darkness they are from. 

From attacks over all the land, there is not just spiritual attacks, but those of a physical nature. If Satan cannot attack a person’s faith, shall he not then attack your body? When your body is struck, the pain comes, and drags you down. Does a depression set down upon you? 

Psalm 91:1-4 “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High

Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;

My God, in Him I will trust.”

3 Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the [a]fowler

And from the perilous pestilence.

4 He shall cover you with His feathers,

And under His wings you shall take refuge;

His truth shall be your shield and [b]buckler.

The Lord is gracious. The Lord is sovereign, The Lord is Love. Depression falls upon me as my body breaks down. The Lord shall restore me, not in this life, but in a body renewed. I shall not fear tomorrow, but yes, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. The physical pain is a constant, as so is prayer to the Lord Almighty. I shall take refuge under his protection, and trust his will, will be done. Pain in this life is temporary, faith, abounds a new body, a body to come. 

Isaiah 41:10 New King James Version

10 Fear not, for I am with you;

Be not dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you,

Yes, I will help you,

I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

We all have struggles and pain, some different than others, but nevertheless, we all endure the storms. No one said being a Christian was easy, no, in fact, we were told the opposite. The church tends to believe if you have some kind of depression or other, that you just don’t have enough faith. This could not be further from the truth. The church of today is starting to put away stigma’s of old. We mustn’t forget that the mind is something we don’t truly understand. How does a physical injury affect the mind? 

When I ruptured the disc in my back I maintained a fairly positive attitude. In recent months however, as pain has begun to affect everything I do, I find myself harboring ill feelings. I find myself struggling to stay positive. I find myself trying to not be frustrated. I would not say I am without hope, but the thought of being my age, and having long term mobility and pain, does not stir positive feelings. 

We know that characters from scripture struggled with both physical and emotional conditions. While it’s easy to lose one’s self in those dark places, we must remember that as Christians, our hope lays beyond death. Our hope is not to live our best life today, but that our rewards wait for us in Heaven. I am by no means saying this to make lite of someone’s depression, or physical detriments, instead, that we may have hope. 

Just because we get lost in ourselves, doesn’t mean we are lost. God knows where we are, and all we have to do is turn to the Father, and he will guide us out of the darkness. We must not build our foundations upon the sand in hopes it will never sink. We must build our foundation upon the rock. As Christ said to Peter this is the rock I will build my church. We can deny, and doubt, and turn away, but that doesn’t mean God won’t use us. Have faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, and he will shine brightly for you. 

Good Thing God Loves Me

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Good thing God loves me.

I’ve spent quite a while praying about this, and I keep coming back to the same thought process. It’s something I’ve spent time praying over and I have come to realize, I’m blessed to have Gods grace and love. Scripture tells us we are dead in our sin. That means we are in a coffin and not drowning out at sea looking for a safety ring to be thrown to us. We don’t often like to think of ourselves as dead but in reality we are serving a life sentence. In the end comes our judgment, our sentence. Do we die, or live. See, justice was dealt and Jesus took the punishment for those who would seek him. For everyone else, well, the future doesn’t look so bright for them. The thing that I have struggled with is the works because of faith. Scripture tells us that we will be recognized as those who follow Christ by the fruit of our works. Not that we are saved in works, but the new creation in Christ we are compelled to do works in the name of Jesus. The thing that gets me is how fickle we humans are. Let me give you a scenario and I’ll let you decide. I will preface this by saying this is only one side of the story.

Here’s a young man, who meets a young lady. They fall in love and have a wonderful relationship. That relationship though romantically fades over time, the friendship lasts. The young boy goes into the military and becomes a man. Through the time spent serving he would buy the lady a car, pay off bills, and through the years be as close a friend as possible. Even so much as becoming a godfather to her first born.

Now, you would think or at least I would think, that would create a strong bond, and a desire to keep a friendship alive? Well, I was wrong.

This adds to a long line of people coming and going. The sad truth is we all fall short of the glory of God, but that doesn’t change the hurt. It isn’t that faith was placed in people, but more like the expectation that your car will start in the morning. Scripture tells us to never grow weary of doing good, but I say, sometimes that’s incredibly difficult to do. Love is one of those things that If we could truly do it, than we wouldn’t have conflict. Scripture tells us that love covers a multitude of sins. That being the case, If we truly loved we wouldn’t hurt people nearly as much. But alas we are lowly, wretched sinners. It’s hurtful to see people you care about leave. I’m not sure what’s worse knowing why someone leaves, or being ghosted. Sadly, as this event plays out over and over in my life, I’m left watching this rerun over and over again. It never gets easier. The one saving grace is where I am with my faith. I turn to the father in prayer and ask for their peace. Not knowing the why, all I can do is pray for them, and pray for healing. As I eluded to earlier, it’s hard not growing bitter. It’s even harder not to press these feelings onto new friendships. I don’t believe that eventually everyone leaves, I can’t, because truthfully that would be emotionally taxing, draining, and cruel.

I’m not sure why I’ve had so many people walk out of my life. I’m not sure if it’s me, or if I attract a certain type of person. Either way, all I can do is drop to my knees and pray about it. Pray for peace of mind, and a healing heart. I can’t and won’t lie and say I’m alright, but I can say I will be, perhaps someday. It’s one thing to say that I’m used to being hurt by people leaving, and the feeling of abandonment goes away, but that would not be true. While I am used to it, the pain doesn’t get any better. And it takes everything I have plus some to fight the urge to put up walls around my heart and mind, to protect myself from people. Why get close to people, or let anyone in, if they are just going to leave? It’s a valid question but one that cannot sit on my heart. I cannot place the sins of others, upon people I’ve never met before. It is not right to place a burden upon someone for the acts of another. Sadly people do this all the time.

I know I am a sinner, and I know I’m saved by grace through faith in Christ. Ultimately it’s love. The love of God that shines down on me, even though I don’t deserve it. I can only hope one day, I’ll find my life was worth something. My love language, one of them is affirmation. Something we don’t often get in our lives. This is a driving factor for me I’d say, that if I can arrive in Heaven, and find that my works in the name of Christ were pleasing, that the Father will one day look at me and say well done, that would make all of the pain worth while. My heart today is heavy. This I cannot deny. Peace is found in the love of Christ and that’s where I must turn.

Best Laid Plans

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Best Laid Plans

I’ve been thinking about Paul and his missionary journeys. I’ve been thinking what it really meant for those times, to give up ones family, to give up stability for the unknown of the road. In a time when Christians were being persecuted and not just thrown into jail, but the roman candles, and the lion games. I’ve been thinking about how easy it would have been to give it up and go home. What does it truly take to be obedient, and what does it take to not just be obedient, but to plan ahead for when the plan goes belly up, or flies off the rails. 

Acts 16:6-10 “Now when they had gone through Phrygia and the region of Galatia, they were forbidden by the Holy Spirit to preach the word in [a]Asia. 7 After they had come to Mysia, they tried to go into Bithynia, but the [b]Spirit did not permit them. 8 So passing by Mysia, they came down to Troas. 9 And a vision appeared to Paul in the night. A man of Macedonia stood and pleaded with him, saying, “Come over to Macedonia and help us.” 10 Now after he had seen the vision, immediately we sought to go to Macedonia, concluding that the Lord had called us to preach the gospel to them.

We see Paul multiple times trying to get into Asia to preach the Gospel, but found his plan wasn’t going to work, and instead God had a different plan. We often find ourselves in the same situations in our life. We plan and even the best laid plans fall apart and leave us scratching our heads as to why. For example. I attempted to recently create a leantu out of PVS for the Yurt/Bell tent I currently live in. For whatever reason, as much as I tried to plan ahead, it quickly became apparent that I was wrong. I was supposed to create a video for the Vermont mission trip I attended in 2020, but when I sat down to do the video, the hard drive I’ve used for a few years, failed. The drive containing nearly 600 gigs of information, pictures, photo shoots, videos, documents, every paper I ever wrote in college, and more, held hostage by a failure in the drive. It’s no surprise that the failure most certainly affected me emotionally, but one thing I needed to be reminded of was to find peace in the storm. I was reminded how important to stay calm, take time to analyze the problem, and to face them with clear heads. 

Much like the sea of Galilee storms can come at any time, with little or no warning. Someone asked me recently why God would allow something to happen. They did not blame God, but questioned God’s passive stance to allow such a horrible thing to happen. Of course, when these questions come up, there are no good answers. Pain, suffering, loss, are all difficult to understand. The big picture is impossible for us to see, and furthermore, it’s hard to determine where or why these bad things happen. Sometimes, we are collateral damage and others sinful nature hits us like a rogue wave in the waters. Sometimes we are the epicenter for our own earthquake. We are the cause by our own actions and choices. Either way, this world we live in, is corrupted by sin, and bad things happen. We know through scripture that no matter where we find ourselves, God works all things for the Good. Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,[a] for those who are called according to his purpose.” This isn’t easy, and when we are hurting it’s hard to see the good through our pain. We are blinded by our own emotions, and we see the world through a worldview, but the truth is, through the eyes of God, perfect judgment, justice, grace, mercy, and love, we cannot fathom what is truly fair or righteous. The sudden loss of a loved one, a job, or sickness, or some other event we find unfair, our emotions compromise our ability to see beyond. We must always remember that not a single day passes we are not given that chance through mercy. If God abhors sin, and we are sinners, then any micro second, we are allowed to exist is an act of cosmic mercy. When the world became so fallen and filled with sin, God sent a flood to wipe clean the slate. This grace we see in our daily lives, is often taken for granted. For whatever reason, our minds seek the smooth and easy path. The moment things get tough, or we suffer loss, we assume God is unfair, or punishing us. God is a mystery, and his ways are beyond our understanding. What we may see as bad, might be the best thing that could have happened. We often don’t see when we need to change paths, but God does. God knows what will move us, motivate us, and get us going, so sometimes the methods aren’t pleasant. All we can do is dig into the scripture, walk with the Holy Spirit, and do our best every day, killing off our old selves, and allowing the person we are today, to be reborn of the Holy Spirit, daily. 

I spent a lot of time thinking about my old self, and the person I was before. I spent a lot of time wondering how people would treat me if they knew the truth. I spent a lot of time worried that the person I was yesterday was what people would remember. I learned something through my church, that even if some talk, the majority are there to love, support, and pray for you. I lost my way after my ex-wife’s affair. I felt broken and battered, and in that pain, bad things happened. Things that in some ways I still haven’t been able to move past. I have one final step, and truth be told, I’m afraid. I’m afraid that day, that one bad day will forever define me. I have let that fear stop me from moving forward. I have let that fear take hold, and prevent me from making one single meeting. It’s okay to feel fear, it is not okay to let that fear control you. Speaking from personal experience, it’s of course easier said than done. I have planned over and over again to make that appointment, but every time I think today is the day, I back out. Fear is normal, but where I have failed, I hope you succeed. We all have our struggles. We are always looking at the world through the lens of yesterday, but I implore you, always let your lens be that of scripture. 

As I have moved into my Yurt/Bell tent, I have seen over and over again, how quickly plans can change. As I have attempted more than once to get something to work, I see the story of man in these last few weeks. I have toiled, I have till the land, worked hard, and even in doing so, the sin filled world shows me that not every plan will work out the way we hope. A lesson I learned a few years ago, I have never forgot the wise words “Make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, Throw away the plan.” (Lenard Snart, The Flash. 2017) While this is of course wisdom, what does scripture say? 

Proverbs 16:9 ESV “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” 

Proverbs 19:21 ESV “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ESV “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 

Remember, that we may have our heart set on doing something, walking a particular path, or even doing something in a particular way, but we must remember, that our best laid plans, may not be the Lord’s plan for us. Sometimes when a plan fails, we may not know it, but it could very well be the best thing to happen to us. 

I have always wanted children, and for a little over a year when I was married that was exactly what we were trying to do. Now, 5 years later, I find myself in a new place in my life. I find myself happy, and content. I find myself free from the old me, and walking a new path. What seemed like a horrible and heart breaking year, I now see was God saving me. If God grants me a child, I know it will be in His perfect timing, and his perfect plan. For whatever reason plans have failed for the Yurt. I have had things come and go in the last few years and as I continue to grow, I understand that some stones we step on are big, and some small, but all allow us to move forward. The key, for us, is not to go backwards. We must learn that some stones are but quick platforms to move quickly from, and others we may be on for a while before moving on. 

Don’t lose hope when something doesn’t work out quite the way you want. Don’t lose hope when God says no, or even not yet. As Paul realized, that God’s plan is perfect, and even though we may think we know what we are meant to do, as Paul found his place was not in Asia, he knew someone else’s would be. We need to walk with the Holy Spirit as Paul was, to decern when and where we are supposed to be. Have faith in God’s plan, and take your own plans with a grain of salt. As I was once told, “flexible people don’t get bent out of shape.” (Dr. Rev. David Chambers). Through Christ who gives me strength, I can do all things. Christ who guides me, and watches over me, as I am part of His flock. I know I am not able to do this on my own, and I no longer expect to have what it takes to do this on my own. Have faith in the Lord, and let Him establish your plans. 

Catch my weekly videos at Arrow Preacher on youtube. 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV3r024gS2FRDIbpqnsDwWA

Grief out of Love

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“What is Grief, but love persevering.” Vision

There is no question that life can be hard. Life can leave us broken, battered on the floor. We ask why, why God? We find ourselves alone, lost, in a world full of pain. We lose people we love. Betrayed and sold out by those we cherished. Ignored by friends. Passed over for a promotion at work. Watch a child pass away. Bury a parent after years fighting dementia. We ask why God. We need God, we cannot make it through this alive without God. It is said that God never puts more on us than we can handle. This is utterly not true. God allows us to go through trials and tribulations because his will is perfect. We are not to rely on our own faulty strength but rather, we are to turn to our Abba Father to deliver us from evil. Philippians 4:13 ESV “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” If we relied on our own strength we would fail. Isaiah 41:10 ESV “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” It is Gods strength that sees us through. When left to our own path, our own desires, we often make our situation worse. Life hurts sometimes. Heartbreak happens. This life we live surrounded by the very presence of sin, we are often caught in the sights of sin, or collateral damage to sin, or the origin of the sin impact. This world leaves battle scars. No one gets out of this life without them. No matter who you are, where you come from, you’re going to end up with scars. Fear not says the Lord. Jesus says when you face tribulations, John 16:33 33 These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you [a]will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” Face the world daily and turn to God for everything. Do not pity yourself or the dead, for if they knew the Lord they have not died, but are truly alive. It’s okay to grieve, to miss someone’s presence. Turn to God and find peace.

THE SILENCE GROWS

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The silence grows

I write to you, even pour out feelings, but met with silence. I took the time, I write and write. Day after day, I take my time to beak the silence as I reach out to you. So many out, and nothing in return. Years of building relationships. Years of extensive, extending a hand in friendship. Picking up the phone from every call and message. I extended my wallet, my ear, my trust, my heart, and now it’s silence. A fool I’ve been, I couldn’t see, because I didn’t want too perhaps, my kindness used and abused. In my own time of need you were no where to be found. How could I have been so blind. The years of darkness I felt, suddenly creeps back in. The seeds fall and grow choking the life and happiness from my life. Abandoned yet again, the flash in my mind, as history repeats itself. Broken on the floor the tears just won’t flow. I do not know why, or how I got here. The color fades to black and white, the hurt a crushing feeling that buries in shame. The darkness settles in like an old friend. Must I say goodbye? Must I feel such loss yet again? Is this natures pruning? Did I mean so little to so many? Was I a convenience at the time, and without warning or word, expendable? History it seems repeated again. What have I learned? How to break, how to hurt. I’ve learned so much and yet again, here I am. The lessons seem to fade to mist. What can I do, when I reach for you, I reach and reach, into the darkness. I reach and lunge but like casting the fishing line, it comes up empty, every time. I see you there, you’re always around, but my hand you don’t take, a reach into the folly.

You’re not my enemy, I pray for you, I drop

to my knees and wish happiness upon you. I ask nothing of you except friendship. I have heard your tears. I’ve listened to your screams. You even once, heard mine. So close, but now ships passing on a fog filled night. Should I let go? Should I call out louder? Will my cries be heard? If you wanted to talk wouldn’t you reach out? What should I do? A broken heart makes poor choices. But, it isn’t just broken, but angry. Years and years of open roads. The pouring out of memories, feelings, thoughts, and now the road ends, the road I’d taken for years, can no longer be traveled. An absence, and yet a carrot dangled in front of me, teasing me, a sign, or is it?

I place so much in all the wrong places. I crave acceptance. I crave being wanted, and needed by others. I crave feeling important. I place that up high, an endless race I could never win. How many must I loose before I see the truth? How many must walk away before I find my value elsewhere? I walk miles upon miles seeking what I could never have. A hollow hole, unable to be filled. Jesus set me free from this cycle I find myself in. Jesus set me free from this pain. These shackles bind me and break me. Jesus be my chain breaker and show me a better way. Heal these wounds of the ages, and heal my broken heart. Jesus heal me and light my way home. Jesus my heart hurts, broken from saying goodbye. Jesus you pieced me together atom by atom, cell by cell. You’ve watched me grow, suffer, laugh and cry. Jesus you know my heart is breaking to pieces. Jesus lift me up and dry my tears. Take me out of this place and show me my value in you. Jesus show me that there’s more then this. Jesus my light on the hill, my shepard come find me, a lost sheep in the wilderness. I cannot do this on my own. I am fragile but strong. My heart breaks but I am not broken. I hurt, but I do not crumble to the ground. Jesus my rock, the rock, my foundation, my anchor in the storm, you save me when my sails are torn, and the keel creaks in the rough waters of this storm. Jesus my Lord, Jesus my light, dry my tears and guide me back, guide me to safety, my Lord. I cannot do this without you. I cannot stay in the darkness. I cannot stay in the silence. I long for Harold of the angels. I crave the sound of the choir of Heaven. I seek your face my Lord, I seek you in the darkness, lift me up, save me, save me from myself, this world, this hurt. Show me the blessings, so many abound around me. Teach me to number my days, so I may grow a heart of wisdom. Teach me to manage when I’m at the still waters, the green meadows, or the shadow of death. In you I trust my Lord. You hear my cries, deliver me from this toil.Free me. To you I pray.

Plenty of Blame

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Plenty of Blame

I recently saw a report where New York Gov. Cuomo attempted to place blame of Covid-19 deaths on former President Trump. It occurred to me that this is nothing new, but rampant right now. IF we spent less time pointing fingers, and instead acknowledge that first we all share blame, down to the individual household, and also less time pointing fingers, and more time sitting at the table to work on the problem, we would be able to find reasonable solutions. Problems such as these are often much bigger, far larger, than one person. Every single human is currently responsible for the outcome we face. From not wearing masks, to not staying home, to hosting parties, to unnecessary travel, etc. We all place blame, but largely, if you want to be more specific, how much can we really do to fight a pandemic? While this isn’t the first time, it is the first time that a virus could travel so easily around the world, so quickly. I would say, preparedness is largely problematic. Were we ready? No, of course not. This problem goes back a long way. Pointing out all the failures could easily be an entire blog on its own, but right now I don’t feel that’s what we need. Suffice to say, we are ALL responsible for the current conditions we find ourselves in. 

God has allowed this virus to take hold of the earth. We may not know if this was caused, or allowed to happy, but either way, God is still in control of all things. God’s love is sufficient, and in these troubled times, we need to remember where we can go with our broken and lost hearts. 

Hebrews 4:16 ESV “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

WE must remember that no matter what we are facing we are accepted into the arms of the Abba Father. We must take this time and turn to the Lord. We must trust in the Lord that He is sovereign over all, and we must trust in His will. 

2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

WE have all lost something in this pandemic. We voted and a new President took office. We may not like, we may love it, but regardless, for the next four years, we are here. We are one nation under God, and unless we want to see this great nation face judgment, we must turn from our ways and find it in our hearts to repent. God has been more than gracious with giving us time to do so, but now’s the time to stand firm on our beliefs. Are we to allow our country to go down a dark path? Perhaps, we will. We must all face ourselves and check our hearts. We must start with the man/woman, in the mirror. We must turn to the Father and ask for the forgiveness, and the courage to stand where we must. We cannot continue to pass blame and point fingers. 

Start Right Here By: Casting Crowns

We want our coffee in the lobby

We watch our worship on a screen

We got a Rockstar preacher

Who won’t wake us from our dreams

We want out blessings in our pocket

We keep our missions overseas

But for the hurting in our cities

Would we even cross the street?

Huh but we wanna see the heart set free and the tyrants kneel

The walls fall down and our land be healed

But church if we want to see a change in the world out there

It’s got to start right here

We cannot continue to expect the light to shine if we ourselves are hypocrites. Do we stand against abortion? Sure, if you’re a Christian you should, but at the same time, are you supporting low income families? Are you helping that single mother hurting? Are you supporting foster parents, and adoptions? It’s not an easy ask, but if Christians would truly support those ventures and not just in prayer, but in time, money, and support, those supporting abortions wouldn’t have a solid argument. Make no mistake, abortion is a sin, but no more of a sin than the over consumption of alcohol, the adultery, the lying, the gossiping going on all around us. IF we want a change we have to start right here, right now, in each of our hearts. 

Christians, I call to you, I implore you to seek a Biblical worldview, instead of following along the secular one. I beg you to see the light of Christ. WE must come together, and we must stop the infighting, stop the complaining, stop the hate. We must not judge others by their skin, their clothes, their social status, or the country they hail from. We must find balance. We must find love in our hearts, and find a way to uphold the law of the land, uphold the law of scripture, and love our neighbors. Are we really taking care of the church as we were asked to do so? Are we managing the talents we were given, or burring it in the sand letting it go to waist? Church, let us do better. Let us live in love. Let us shine the light of Christ in the tumultuous times. Go in peace, go in prayer, and go in love. 

In The Year 2020

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In The Year 2020 

I think we can all agree, the year 2020 will forever be remembered as a weird, and in many aspects, a horrible year. Early in the year with the exception of the Corona Virus wreaking havoc in Asia, it seemed like a normal year. By February however I came to realize China was loosing the battle of containment, the government in the US did not take the virus serious enough, and failed to implement containment protocols. The country since then has been burning down. There have been cities erupting into anarchy in riots and protests. There have been Murder Hornets, and country wide fires in Australia. There have been volcano eruptions, earthquakes, and even as recent as August, there has been a Hurricane, and an Earthquake in North Carolina in the same week. North Carolina doesn’t often have earthquakes so it’s odd. There was a massive explosion in Lebanon which nearly leveled the city. There was a major plane crash in Pakistan. Locusts in Africa. Explosions in Lagos, and sadly more. 

With such a polarized year, politicly, economically, naturally, and even the micro problems inside the homes of billions of people worldwide, the problems of finances, food shortages, rising food costs, lowering of gas prices, depression and other mental health problems, there have been a slew of challenges to overcome. Not to mention the polarizing problems over school, masks, and other hot button topics. 

There is no shortage of troubles, in fact, the year 2020 is being used as a measurement of how bad things can get. While there are many who are afraid of what’s going on right now in the world, Christ overcomes fear through us. What is fear? Fear is an emotion response to something we perceive as dangerous or harmful. Fear of falling is actually a fear of dying, because it’s not the fall that kills you, it’s the ground. Fear of the water, essentially is not water itself, but rather what’s in it, what you cannot see, or something such as a flood. Fear of fire, again, is the fear of the destruction it brings, or the life it ends. Fear of failure is not living up to expectations, of not amounting to anything, not being good enough. When you really break it down, 2020 has hit most people’s fear in some way shape or form. Fear of losing jobs, losing loved ones, losing homes, stability, or even your health. We are a combined equivalent to the life of Job. When you read the book of Job you see a man who had everything his heart could want, a man truly content with his life. God gave Satan permission to stricken Job with numerous disasters, to test humans resolve of faith towards God. Job loses everything. It is not much different then today. While it was one person who was stricken with all kinds of problems, every one of us has experienced at least one disaster that befell Job. The thing about Job was, he knew the Lord, and he trusted the Lord. While he did not understand his torment, he remained faithful, even despite his friends turning their backs on him. Under extreme circumstances Job maintained his witness to the Lord. Can we say the same? Job was stricken with so much heartache, ruin, destruction, and yet remained faithful and loyal to the Lord. We experience one tragedy and how quickly are we to turn to the Lord and shake our fist, “Look what you let happen!” We yell to the Lord, or perhaps worse things are said. 

I have come to a point in my life where I have realized the importance of seeing when a door closes to move on to the next. Much like the storm troopers looking for the droids in “A NEW HOPE’. Once the door being checked is locked, move on to the next. We too are searching, are we not? We are looking for the route to take, but I question each and every one of us, are we taking the path which is the easiest, or the right one? As Dumbledore is quoted, “We must all face the choice between what is right, and what is easy.” Of course, we creatures who desire comfort and ease above most other things, don’t want a life of turmoil and hardships. That being said, we do forget that this life is only temporary, and it is eternal glory that awaits any person who accepts Christ as both Lord and Savior. This gift of glory is not for the faint of heart, yet, as scripture said, a narrow road. Many will try, few will succeed. While we are not given a percentage, or even a number of those allowed into the gates of heaven, as some suggest, we know that Christ said ‘and on that day many will call out my name stating Lord Lord, look at what I have done in your name.’ He replies, “Depart from me for I never knew you’ Matthew 7:22. Are we to be one of those people who work so hard to enter the gates of Heaven, yet fail to grasp the point in our hearts? I’m not sure which is worse, those who never knew Christs, or those who did and turned their backs on Him.

It is easy to place blame when something goes wrong. It’s easy to start dropping names as to why things flew off the rails. Someone said this, this person did that, etc. I myself have been guilty of proclaiming ‘God, why are you doing this to me?’ In reality, when most bad things happen as we perceive them as bad, God is in fact not to blame, instead we could blame Satan, Sin, or the harder finger to point, towards ourselves. Bad things happen in this world, simply because it’s a fallen world. While Satan and his demons do play a large roll in falling to the temptations, hearing the voices of doubt, the voices of fear, the voices of mistrust, and lust, and gluttony, and debauchery, we are the ones who must take responsibility not for the bad things that tempted us, but rather for giving in to those temptations. The world under Satan’s rule is designed to tempt you, to pull you away from the Cross. On the day of reconning, we will have to answer for everything we’ve ever done, every choice we’ve made, everything thing we’ve said, all of it. We will not be able to pass blame like the six year old siblings arguing with each other. Simply, here in the year 2020, there’s been a lot of hardships, a lot of heart break, and more. Despite everything, we must still face the fact we are fully responsible for our actions in this life. We as Christians are responsible for the name Christ we claim to hold. We have taken on the responsibility for being set apart of this world, to act and look different. That doesn’t mean just talking differently or attending church seasonally, but rather being that reflective light on the hill. We are ambassadors in this land, and we must act as such, to include our general state of mood. While I’m not saying you can’t have bad days, hard days, or even seasons of depression, but rather, while battling these storms in your life, remember to share the joy that you should always keep guarded from outside attacks. Attacks come every day, from every direction, and this year, we humans have certainly seen our fair share of hardships. I have heard many claim this is the beginning of the end times. While I don’t know, because scripture says we won’t know the time of the Lord’s return, what I do know is we must always be ready for that day.

We mustn’t worry about tomorrow, as “it will worry for itself”. Matthew 6:34. We cannot control the events of the day, yet called to be in our present, so let us instead focus our time on the truth. Focus our time on the things that truly matter. While it is important that jobs matter, and making an income matters, we mustn’t let that steal away our focus to our children, our spouses, our loved ones, or our friends. Relationships are the most important thing. If it isn’t, why then would Christ tell us the most important thing is to “Love our neighbor”. He didn’t say make sure you go to work 90 hours a week to put food on the table. We reap what we sew, but that fellowship, that relationship with the Lord, and our relationships with people are in fact the most important thing. We seem to have forgotten that this year. While we have been called to social distance, instead of personal distance, we have perhaps forgotten that while we are away from work, school, and other social gatherings, that it is in fact, the will of our Father that we remain social beings. It is stated in scripture that our fellowship is important, and we shouldn’t forget it. We must remember to remain safe, but through technology we have been given a wonderful gift of communication. It is the sword of the Holy Spirit we must hold on to, and through the forging of our minds, and our spirits, we must venture through this year, and into the next, ready to battle against more divide, battle against more racism, more sexism, more discrimination, and at the heart of it, more hate. Every passing day where we do not keep out such things, we fall prey to the roaring lion seeking to devour us. As said in scripture, it is not against flesh and blood we battle, but against principles, against the power, against the rulers of darkness. Ephesians 6:12. We must pick up the sword which is the word, and hold it high so our enemies may see the glint of the light emanating from it. We must rise above the lies, and the deceits told by Satan and his demons. The sword is more powerful than any weapon ever forged by man, and it is the living truth, the Holy Book, written as God’s love letter to us, instruction in which we must follow, guidance for when we are hurting, a compass for when we are lost, correction for when we are wrong, and the punishment for those who fail to accept Jesus Christ as both Lord and Savior.

Yes 2020 has been a hard year, but it has been so much more than just difficult. For many this year, they have had to learn to reinvent themselves. For many their faith was put to the test. For many, they walked away from church and haven’t returned, and won’t. This year has strained relationships, strained wallets, fractured families, and even a nation. It has become evident that the foundation in which this country was founded has cracked and changed. We have seen disruption come in every aspect of life, and God has used this horrible virus to get our attention. Will we turn our backs on Him? Will we bend a knee and bow a head? Some, sadly have simply put, given God the middle finger, and have chosen to double down on their lost, sinful behavior. We must remember what scripture teaches us. If we are to correct, first we must remove the plank from our own eye. Then we are to do so with kindness and compassion. More precisely we are to do everything in love and with love, and through love. We cannot simply say, ‘I’m doing this because I love you.’ If we are not kind, and gentle, yet firm and patient, we have not truly understood what it is to love. Even though Job went through horrible things, he knew God still loved him. Even though God allowed horrible things to happen to his child Job, God felt deeply for what Job was going through. Just because bad things happen to you, doesn’t mean the Father doesn’t also hurt for you. When you take your child to get braces, or a shot, those pains are temporary, but necessary. You as a parent also hurt when your child hurts, and sometimes in their life they are going to hurt. We cannot always stop our children’s hurt, and we can’t always be there for them every step of the way. Let me put that another way. It is not always in a parents best interest for the child, to stop the hurt from coming. Pain is what allows us to grow. Pain in making our own choices. Pain in growing. Pain in other people’s choices, but no matter where the pain comes from, as a parent you know you will stand with your child. Even the best of parents in this life will never measure up to the parent God is. The perfect Abba father. The one who knows all, sees all, and understands all we go through. Scripture tells us this pain on earth is only but a while, but compared to the joy in eternity it is nothing, just a whisp of smoke. We must be patient in this life and expect more difficult years, and yet, even in the difficult years, we must take the time to appreciate the majesty that is this world the Lord has given us. What am I trying to say? Stop focusing on all the negative in your life and stop and appreciate some art, stop to appreciate a song, stop to appreciate your favorite show, your family, your friends, your life, and the time the Lord has given to you. Every breath is in fact a gift, and we must learn to be more grateful, than doubtful. We must learn to be more gracious, and have gratitude for every good gift that comes from our loving father in heaven. Keep on pushing on, and as always, God Bless you this holiday season.

Let Us Get One More

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Let Us Get One More

It is our duty, a charter, a command from our Lord and Savior that we go forth in a great commission, to build upon itself a great church, a rock, an immovable object of faith and truth, that all who would believe in Christ, be baptized and inherit to Kingdom of God. What does that mean? What does it mean to inherit the responsibility we have been given? I’ve been putting thought into what it means to receive this charter? 

Christians for a long time have sat by and watched the world change around them. I’m not referring to just watching the decades pass by, but rather, watching as moral decay seems to have run unchecked. We Christians have been given a charter beyond what we could ever imagine. I daresay, while we have not failed in the great commission, we are not doing a good job. 

Matthew 28:16-20 “Then the eleven disciples went away into Galilee, to the mountain which Jesus had appointed for them. 17 When they saw Him, they worshiped Him; but some doubted.

18 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.

There are Christians who take the commission given, and go abroad and make disciples in the name of Christ. Some people do mission work at home, and host bible studies, outreach programs, and other events to bring people the love of Christ. That being said, if it is true that there are 205 million Christians, why then is there such a rise in moral depravity? If those who claim Christianity, why are we so ugly to one another? Sadly, it would seem, there is a lot who take on the name of Christian, but how many of the 205 Mil. are cultural Christians, sideline Christians, or fully-fledged, submitted Christians? Now, I will say, it’s not my place to determine what’s in someone’s heart, I am not qualified to do so. However, scripture says this, Matthew 7:15-17 15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.” If this is true, then if we know that a prophet in this sense is referring to those who claim to speak in the name of the Lord. But we can also take this a bit further. In other scripture verses, it talks about the vine of the spirit, and those vines that do not bear fruit will be pruned. We are the vine that bares fruit in the name of the Lord. If we are part of the vine, do our actions look like Christ? 

It breaks my heart when I turn on the TV and I see people being ugly to one another. It breaks my heart to see people in the street screaming profanities about our President, screaming insults at our President elect. It breaks my heart to see cops even if accidently, killing a man in their custody. It breaks my heart to see protesters injuring police, burning down peoples hard made businesses. It breaks my heart to see all the rape, murder, and cruelty to one another. I sit back, and I think to myself, what have we come too, where we think it’s okay to do these kinds of things? 

The hope we have in Christ, comes with the knowledge that things will continue to ‘fall apart’, before it gets better. In the time we have, we are chartered to make the very best of every day we have. When we go outside our door, we have the responsibility of Christians to either share the Gospel, or live in a way that we look different than that of the world. If you are a saved Christian and you believe you are given a gift in which we do not deserve, why would you want to keep that gift a secret? Why would you hide the light under the bed for no one to see? If you are a Christian, do you walk an isle on Sunday, but get hammered on Friday? Do you swear like a sailor and fall into depravity? What about a life of debauchery? Do you look like a man or women of Christ? We must be careful with our actions, and we must take time to look within, and ask the hard questions. When we look in the mirror, do we see Christ looking back, or is it a man or woman of the world? 

Christians truly need to be doing better at being Christ(like). When I look at our nation (US) I am saddened by the divide. I’m saddened to see the racism, the hate, the cruelty to one another. I’m saddened to see so many battling mental health problems, substance abuse, addictions, toxic relationships, and the list goes on. Like no other time in recent history it seems people are so alone now more than ever. We are not just physically distant, but emotionally as well. We are not loving as we are called to do so. The term ‘neighbor’ is no different than the parable of the good Samaritan, our neighbor is now the traveler that fell upon forlorn circumstances. We have become a people of the priest and a Levite. We call ourselves good people, but our actions would speak differently. We are not good people; we are not worthy people. No, sadly, we often turn a blind eye to those suffering, and to those in need. We often fail to share Christ even when the opportunity is right in front of us. I’m not talking about shoving Christ down people’s throats, but we should be offering to pray for others, we should be asking people to join us in church, we should be offering to help those in need. We don’t always have to do this help with money, sometimes, time is all that is needed. Are we offering time to pray? Are we offering time to help a single mother get out for a night? Are we offering to help an overloaded family clean the house, or do some yard work? Are we offering our elderly neighbor time to sit and talk? Are we listening to those around us? I daresay, we can be doing better. 

The year 2020 has been a strange year for everyone worldwide. We have endured so much loss, and destruction, pain and hardships. So many people have lost everything they’ve worked hard for. We have lost loved ones, and some have even lost themselves. Now more than ever, we Christians must be shining brightly for all the world to see. Right now, when times are truly tough, we must be shining brightly to show the rest of the world hope. We must be as bright as a full lush, bright moon lighting the nights path. We must be walking close enough to Christ to reflect his light to all who see us. We must be taking the time to give others our time. We must be helping, and lifting up one another, fulfilling the law of Christ by baring one another’s burdens, showing others love. 

If we are willing to sit by and say nothing, sit by and do nothing, how sad that we are letting those around us walk in darkness. It isn’t just walking in darkness, it’s not knowing when we will breathe our last, and yes, that’s a heavy burden, but we have been called to carry a cross, and that in itself is part of our burden. Eternal damnation is nothing to take lightly. Those who refuse to hear Christ, that choose to live in darkness, or even those whom we know don’t know the Lord and never share the good news of the Gospel with, we are complicit. We must take action. Christianity is not a spectator sport. No, far from it! In fact, Christian is about doing, it’s about loving someone enough to spare them from eternal hell. Even if we are simply ignorant, an ambivalence is still egregious when it comes to an eternal soul. Are we praying for our enemies? Are we praying for that neighbor that simply doesn’t like us for just being who we are? Are we sharing a nice smile to the young girl working in Walmart who looks like the weight of the world is on her shoulders? Are we turning a blind eye to the homeless man begging for money on the corner? Are we praying for the lost, the homeless, the hurting, those in harm’s way? 

Let us Christians do better. We can always do better. As Private Dawson said, “Lord, please help me get one more.” Let us find our one, and then another, and another. Let us not grow tired of finding someone to share the love of Christ with. 

And let us have a wonderful, and safe Veterans Day!