The Rugged Path

The rugged path

A path we walk so deep into the wilderness. The stones piled high to block the traveler. Trucks and sticks, thistles and thorns, are but some of the dangers set upon the traveler. The nighttime brings the howls and the moon. What little chance does the traveler have against the predators of the dark to navigate the path with so many hazards? The traveler’s alone no partner or friend, no one to navigate, no one to bare the truths. The path at night is scary and brings a fright. The traveler walks and fear both good and evil takes hold. Fear can paralyze us, stop us from moving, fear when unchecked unmatched can bury us in our tracks. The path’s dangers are many, and we stub our toe, we scrape our knees, we take thorns to the face, but we keep driving on. Fear of death can push us to continue, and fear can keep us fighting if we only see right now. Of all the things we fear on the path, the internal battle is often more scary and more dangerous. What if we fail and we can’t figure out how to get back up? What if we are doomed to walk this earth alone because someone left us? What if loss is our fate and we will never be happy again? Fear can be manifest on our path, fear of all these things can present themselves as stumbling blocks, thorns, wolves, and darkness. The fear we have are lies from the deceiver himself. Some way, some how, we must learn to light up our path, and allow the light to reveal the secrets of the dark.

2 Corinthians 4:6 “It started when God said, “Light up the darkness!” and our lives filled up with light as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful.” We must have faith in the Lord. We know that God lit up the darkness, and we know that we lived in darkness till we were saved by it. John 1:5 “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” Jesus Christ gave us the hope we didn’t have since the fall from Eden. We know that Abba (father) is kind and just. We know that Christ made the winds stop and the storm to pass. Isaiah 26:7-11 “Lord, you make the path smooth for good people; the road they travel is level. 8 We follow your will and put our hope in you; you are all that we desire. 9At night I long for you with all my heart; when you judge the earth and its people, they will all learn what justice is. 10 Even though you are kind to the wicked, they never learn to do what is right. Even here in a land of righteous people they still do wrong; they refuse to recognize your greatness. 11 Your enemies do not know that you will punish them. Lord, put them to shame and let them suffer; let them suffer the punishment you have prepared. Show them how much you love your people. “ We know that our fate was sealed but the innocent blood of Christ saved us. We know that now our fate is within our own power of free will. We know the power of God to shape our path is stronger then we could ever possibly hope to imagine. Isaiah 40:4 “Every valley shall be lifted up, and every mountain and hill be made low; the uneven ground shall become level, and the rough places a plain.” Light up the path, remove the stones, the thistles, the thorns, the trunks that would reach up and grab you and hold you down will withers and flatten out.

Having faith and letting go of the pain, the suffering within our heart, is hard, but we can overcome the darkness inside us if we work on it daily, practice it and telling ourself every day that we can put one foot in front of the other. Sometimes one foot in front of the other is all we can do. Every single day we must ask God to take that pain, take the traps on the path we walk and remove them from our hike through the world. Our faith is something we must continue to work on, every day we will find ourselves under attacked from the Devil’s lies, the Devil’s tricks, the Devil’s temptations, and we must allow ourselves to fight the fight with the help of God. We cannot fight the Devil alone and we will loose if we choose to get into the ring with Him and try to go one on one. We must always keep in mind we are nothing without God, we achieve nothing without the grace of God and we cannot make our way through the rugged terrain without the blessings God bestows upon us. This path we walk there will be bloodshed, there will be tears and no matter how the path gets us down, allow God to pick you back up always, and you will see that even in the hardships you will feel the grace of God.

 

 

 

 

Finding my Black Canary

Finding my Black Canary

Do many of you often wonder where you other half is? As I have often wondered what the next step in my life may be, I question the range of relationships. While I’ve wondered why the women I have loved have decided to move on with their lives and leave the life built behind them, I consistently struggle with the reason for this particular path. While the why isn’t the focus here the focus is how do we move forward? Sometimes we love and loose, how do we begin to fix our broken hearts?

Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 147: 3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Romans 8:39 “nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

1 John 4:10 “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

 When we are down and broken we know that the Lord is with us and our crushed spirits. We can only rely on the spirit to pick us back up. The Lord starts to heal us the instant the stab to our heart happens. Just because wrongs are done, and they may be done by us, or to us, neither wrong can separate us from the Lord. Jesus is hand in hand with us no matter what. The God above, the creator of heaven and earth, forgives our sins and it is the love of God that give us strength. We are nothing without God, and without God’s grace. Everything we have is a gift. Either God gives us our gifts, or sends us along our path. Either God sends us our pain, or allows our pain to happen. No matter what the case may be, all things happen with the blessing of God. God only allows us to travel a path as long as He deems fit. Sin will only be tolerated in our lives for so long before we will be punished by our Father. How long will we blatantly Sin in our lives before we realize we are wrong and fix it?

Psalm 71:20 “You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again.” No matter how far we fall, no matter how deeply we hurt, God will lift us up again and help us heal. We aren’t meant to be alone. Isaiah 43:2 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” No matter our situation we shouldn’t allow ourselves to become overwhelmed. We need to learn to let go of our sorrows and allow the Lord to take care of them. We must endure our crucibles to survive them. We must learn that our gifts will far outweigh our pain and suffering.

For me I believed I had found my Black Canary to my Green Arrow. I believed I had found the woman who completed me. I never wanted anyone else. I felt in my days like I was missing something, like I needed friends to complete what I perceived as missing. The fact was I wasn’t truly looking for friends the truth was I was still dealing with the ramifications of multiple posttraumatic events in my life. Loosing the woman I loved, the woman I would have done anything for and fought to give anything I could. There were many reasons she left, most of which I don’t know, and even to this day don’t understand. However, as broken as I am, I feel badly for her. As I pray one day she may remember the spark that led us together to start with, allow us to rekindle what was damaged. Anything is possible if you believe in Christ. While I have struggled with my ability to move on I have to have faith in the unknown. I believe that no matter the time that goes by if two people are meant to be together life will somehow draw them back together. Love is undying, love is forever, but everything is in God’s time. Some day I will find my woman in a mask to match my own. One day I will find a woman who will don the mask and put on the jacket. I will keep the faith as all of you out there have lived through loss and divorce. Divorce doesn’t have to be the end. Trust in the Lord and in Him your future will be, as the sun shall rise. We must learn patience and in that patience trust that in God’s time someone will come into your life. Remember to put God first, and always. Believe in the Lord and don’t forget to pray. I myself struggle with the patience of such things. Even with that struggle I pray and know that prayer is important in our daily relationship with the Lord our Father. 1 John 5:14-15 “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” Have trust in our prayers being heard for Abba is with us always.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Promise

The Promise

 You know what really bakes my noodle? It bothers me when people make promises and break them. As a young child people often made promises to me only to break them over and over again. As I got older it became very important to me to keep my promises. I’m not one to make a promise and not fulfill it or come through. However, it seems that’s not a very common trait for most. The Bible has scripture about keeping your word or promises. 1 John 2:5 “But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him.” The Lord does not take promises and oaths lightly. Matthew 5:33-37 “Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.’ But I say to you, Do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.” To break your word is a Sin. A promise and oath are forever. Your word is your bond. Your word and if you are a trustworthy person are important to image.

Psalm 89:34 “I will not violate my covenant or alter the word that went forth from my lips.” When we make a promise to someone it’s not to violate our word. Matthew 5:33 “Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.” When you make a promise to someone God looks on that promise like you’re making a promise to Him. James 5:12 “But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.” Do not condemn yourself into wickedness by allowing yourself to speak untruths. People who listen to you, do you want them to look at you with untrusting eyes? Do you want to be the type of person that no one believes a word you utter? Don’t hide behind excuses or lies, as sure as the seasons will pass and the snows will melt, the truth will always have it’s day.

It’s important to only make a promise if you are going to keep it. You must remember what you promise to do all you can to keep it. When you vow to do something you should do everything in your power to do it. When you make a vow you must remember that a vow in a bond, more then simple promise. An oath is a covenant unbreakable. Marriage for instance, how simple it’s become to marry, swear a vow to one another, create the covenant before God and yet not only do you break that before your spouse, but you break it before God as well. Do not allow yourself to be ruled by the wicked of the world. There is nothing OKAY with divorce. There’s nothing okay with breaking your promise to anyone. There’s nothing okay with breaking someone’s heart or turning yourself into a liar. What’s worse is when you become a habitual liar. To sin is bad, to sin habitually is worse. Do not allow the world to dictate what you do and the things you lie. Let your yay be yay, and your nay be nay. Speak from the heart and with truth. Don’t hide yourself behind lies. The truth will always set you free.

 

Dead or Alive

Dead or Alive

The wanted poster nailed to the wall with your picture, it says Wanted Dead or Alive. We live our life some choose good, while some choose bad. We fight to move, we move to survive. While this world is a jungle with traps everywhere you look trying to drag you to your knees. We try to survive by doing what our conscious, our moral compass tells us is the right thing to do. Some people their compass allows them to hurt anyone around them. Some live to serve others, and others just want to get by and be left alone, but the jungle doesn’t discriminate, it lies and waits for anyone to fall into it’s trap, like quicksand it grabs you and pulls you down until you are covered and can no longer breathe. The world’s jungle doesn’t judge you, it tries to destroy everyone, and attempts to bring everyone down. The truth is the world doesn’t care if you’re dead or alive because the world is Sin. The Devil is like the Sheriff in Robin Hood. This is a character that always tries to trap and capture the good man Robin Hood and the Merry Men who only want to help those who can’t help themselves. The Devil wants to corrupt the hearts of man. The Devil wants to draw you away from the path of righteousness and doesn’t care how. You see the Devil wants you dead or alive. The Devil wants you to spread evil and hate, and if you won’t, the Devil doesn’t care how he breaks you. Either you spread the hate, or deny Christ, either way the Devil wants you to die doing one of the other that way you never enter the eternal gates of Heaven.

How do we overcome our death sentence, and how do we survive the jungle? God can save us and has saved us from the chains that once bound us to eternal damnation. The chains were broken when innocent blood was spilt, an innocent man was killed as an inadvertent sacrifice to the Lord above on Passover. The Pharisees who killed Jesus didn’t understand his purpose, they didn’t understand the very scripture they had spent a lifetime learning and teaching. The Lord of all went to trial and on trumped up charges accepted the sentence of torture and crucifixion. Jesus knew the sentence, he allowed the temptation to occur in the garden and still denying the Devil three times and then allowed the Roman soldiers to take action against him. Knowing he was going to die the most painful death, he found it in His heart to heal the very roman soldier that had come to take him to his death. He healed the soldier whose ear had been cut off. Forgiveness was still in His heart. The blood spilt that day before the sun had set fulfilled scripture. The eclipse and the earthquake that split the temple tapestry that symbolized the curtain between man and God was no more. While the Devil wanted mankind to die because of jealousy, because of hate, because of sin, the Devil wanted mankind to never have the relationship with God, never wanted mankind to be allowed to where the Devil was banished. Since the Devil wasn’t able to prevent the sacrificial lamb from His fate, now the Devil continues to fight for the souls of mankind.

While the Devil wants us dead or alive, Jesus promised life. We have the opportunity to live and avoid the death sentence the Devil would want for us. Salvation is simple yet difficult at the same time. Sin is strong and pulls at us always. Why does someone have a casual relationship with the truth and lies so easily and frequently? Why is murder so easy for some? Why is hate and bigotry so simple for some? Sin takes so many lives. There’s no real way to know the casualties of war. When we watch someone die we can only hope and assume they were saved. Do you feel cold and lost in desperation? Are you lost because sadness and frustration is all you’ve ever known? We must learn to let it go, and see the light above the clouds. While the war rages on day in and day out, always know that just because you can’t see the sun through the clouds doesn’t mean it isn’t there. You’ve felt the cold and evil pull of Satan, but if you trust that one day the clouds will split because the Lord of the Universe has promised to defeat Sin, promised to cast the deceiver down into the vast pit of Hell and create a new Heaven and a New Earth where there will be no more sorrow, and no more tears. Let it go, let go of all the pain that stains your heart, let go of the hate that sits in your heart. Let go of your desperation and remember that just because you can’t see or feel God, doesn’t mean He isn’t with you always. Hope is a fragile thing, but scripture rings truth. Remember all the promises God has made to us. Don’t allow yourself to fall to the traps within this jungle. We never know when the end will come and we don’t want to fall into a trap before we accept Christ into our hearts. We know our salvation rests within Christ so be sure to keep your salvation packed away tucked in tight so you don’t loose it, but to have it means to use it, if you don’t use it you could loose it.

Exodus 14:14 “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Isaiah 40:29 “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”

Isaiah 40:31 “but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Deuteronomy 31:8 “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Psalm 23 1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.3 He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surelygoodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”

 Have faith in the Lord. Remember that just because charges may be brought against you that doesn’t mean you’re guilty. Remember that you will stand trial and the sins will be weighed at the foot of the cross. Never let Satan take your hope from you for as long as God is God, and God is still on the throne there is always hope. Let there be no mistake God is still in control, and just because the bad things that happen to us, and it seems like the end of the world God can and does always use every situation for a chance for us to bring Glory to His name. Never forget who the judge is. You and I aren’t it, and Satan certainly isn’t it even though he is the corrupt lawyer trying to get your death sentence sped up. Thee Judge on high sees right through Him. Jesus was our defense lawyer and no wicked sheriff or prosecutor will be able to get past the righteousness of our Father.

“Let mercy come and wash away what I’ve done. I’ll face myself to cross out what I’ve become.” “For what I’ve done I start again And whatever pain may come Today this ends I’m forgiving what I’ve done I’ll face myself to cross out what I’ve become Erase myself And let go of what I’ve done” (Linkin Park) Remember that asking God for forgiveness, asking others for forgiveness, is only part of it. We must learn to forgive ourselves also. We will make mistakes we’re human. If you’re going to be placed on trial be sure to only face the charges that are yours face. Forgiving one’s own mistakes is sometimes harder then accepting it from others so be sure to look inside and face the truth for what it is. Don’t accept responsibility for things you haven’t done, but be man enough to accept the things you have. We all face trial in the end. Do you want to die, or do you want to live? Eternal death, or eternal life, the choice is ours. The life we live is hard, but most of what life is, is just fluff anyway. Learn to tell the stuff that really matters and the stuff that doesn’t. Don’t let the small stuff in this life turn into big stuff at your trial. The little lies, the things like cheating, or stealing may not be big in your eyes but to God all sin is sin. Don’t let man’s laws on importance change your perspective. How you treat others, how you treat yourself, how you live the big and small, the good, the bad, and the ugly will all be presented at your trial and the Devil is just licking his chops waiting for you to sin and keep right on sinning. Do the right thing and have respect for yourself, and for others. You are responsible for your own actions, and what do you want, dead, or alive?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why do I feel the way I do?

Why do I feel the way I do?

I’ve been considering an awful lot about my future these last few weeks I’ve been in recovery. I’ve been wondering why it’s been so hard to meet new people. I’ve been wondering why every plan I’ve had since my separation started has blown up in my face. I’ve been wondering why every new potential lady I’ve met has ghosted me. What does that say about me? Am I being prepared for something more in the future, or something I’m supposed to learn right here and now? While of course I won’t ever have an answer the questions come regardless.

A verse that popped out at me today Hebrews 4:12 “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” While I have begged for a change of heart, a change in the way I feel in certain circumstances, I have yet to overcome a particular character flaw, or at least what I perceive as a flaw. God can see what is in our heart of hearts. He sees beyond the mask we wear and show those around us. God sees everything and knows our deepest thoughts, even the ones we may bury so deep we ourselves don’t see them. The truth in the word can often cut us deep to the bone. My personal experience has led me to feel the conviction on more then one occasion. There was a major event last year that touched me. There was a sermon on forgiveness that I needed to hear just one day after I found out about a serious wrong against me by someone I cared for.

Hebrews 4:13 “Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.” God knows what we need and when we need it. The right message at the perfect time and when we don’t listen to the word the message is sent to us one way or another, and perhaps by force. The Father wants what’s best for us, and sometimes when the father wants to teach children a particular lesson you have to have a more stern teaching method. Though I’m not a father, and I never had a father, I pay attention to the fathers of my close friends. As I have often felt bitter about the way my life has gone, the hardships I’ve faced and I am forced to remind myself that scripture is full of those who went through so much pain prior to death. Moses, Joseph, Stephen, Paul, David (Prior to becoming King), and of course the suffering and crucifixion of Jesus Christ. If my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ could go through torture, relinquishing any pride, and knowing what was at stake, our immortal souls free from eternal damnation.

Knowing all of this, why do I still feel like I’m not good enough? Romans 7:14-20 “For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. 15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good.17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.” Knowing I am special and unique because I am of God’s creation does not stop my own self worth being in question. Perhaps the biggest issue is the built in flaw that we see as a flaw, but what if that flaw isn’t a flaw at all. 2 Corinthians 12:7 “So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited.” While I am always willing to admit I’m wrong, and I may be on the built in flaw aspect, it would make sense to ensure we aren’t conceited. For me my biggest failing is my self worth, and the need for social interaction. I guess one of the biggest things to face is the problem, and admitting there is one, or at least something to work on. While it’s very possible that these flaws are there to give us something to always work on. None of us are perfect because we can’t be. Sin prevents perfection and the sooner we realize what our flaws are, accept them, and focus on fixing them to the best of our ability we can realize we are exactly as God created us.

Every waking day we fight because the battle doesn’t stop just because we don’t want to fight anymore. While I would love nothing more to drop off the grid, if I could manage the solitude I have often questioned if anyone would miss me. I have often questioned if I could get over my social requirements if I could actually survive out on my own. I have questioned if I could manage to live on a boat by myself on the sea, in a cabin in the woods, and just survive without the influence of the world. The world beats us down and some people have more struggles then others. The path and struggle although painful and full of sacrifice, the end result is something more. We can either embrace the fire or run from it. I feel the way I do because the world has been a cruel and unforgiving place full of pits and spikes, and flaming arrows that have burned down my life more then once. The house can always be rebuilt if the foundation is strong. A tree can be cut back and cut back, but with strong roots it can grow again. When the world burns down the house to the foundation rebuilding takes time. So long as we realize rebuilding can’t and won’t happen over night, we can be in the right mindset that rebuilding is a chance to change, a chance to fix mistakes, make things bigger and stronger then they were before. To purge the old and make way for the new, but there will be hardships along the way, there will be tests, but know that God never allows you to go through the tests until you’re ready to overcome them. Be brave and keep calm, buckle your armor and prepare for the next step, the next chapter and face the enemy head on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Serenity Prayer

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next.

Amen.

We in our life often have a hard time with many of our daily trials. I have often found comfort in the Serenity Prayer. First, what does serenity mean? The online definition is “he state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled.” Even those who are devout Christians can have a hard time letting go of the stress and worry that come with tough situations. While we all have our day to day struggles, some people deal with ‘stress’ better then others. I’ve had my share of exemplary displays of problem solving, and I’ve had some very atrocious displays. We know that we will face trials, those trials will place us on a path to either teach us something, prepare us for something later on down the line, or alter our path. In some scientific circles there’s a theory that for every possible outcome that could happen, actually does happen. While this may or may not be true, if you are God, and you allow mankind to have free will, then there has to be some aspect of that, that might be true, even if God is the only one that can see every possible outcome. We have the opportunity every instance to make Godly decisions. No matter how far down a path, you can choose a different path. There are always options even if we don’t see all of them. Think about what God sees. He wants us to give us every opportunity to follow Him. He wants us to have a relationship with Him so envision every possibly action you may make, and consider the eyes of God seeing every path all at once. How big God is compared to us. I’ve often thought that God will always attempt to get you back on track by giving you chance after chance to get back on track, but with freedom of choice, multiple outcomes must be available, which means God can see every possible outcome, which means, every possible outcome must exist.

Now that I’ve gotten off on a major tangent, I’ll get back to my original point. I often hear people say I don’t have a choice, or I didn’t have a choice, and me myself have said and gone done that road more often then I would care to admit. One thing I’ve learned, even if I don’t always put it into practice is, just because we can’t see an outcome, or see the many paths in front of us, doesn’t mean they aren’t there. We can never know how every situation will end, and we never know truly what tomorrow will bring. We must learn to live our lives one day, one moment at a time. Be proactive sure, but always try to make your choices based on a Godly path. Surrender your worries, your doubts, and your troubles to the Lord. Ask constantly for guidance and believe that the path will illuminate before you when you are truly seeking a righteous path. The right path won’t always be the path of least resistance, but when we follow the Lord we will be given the compass to follow.

Getting rid of worries, and doubt, stress, and frustrations, isn’t easy. It helps to remind yourself daily of the serenity prayer like using the same muscle over and over again, you will eventually build muscle memory and it will become easier. Don’t live your life under a permanent cloud of misery. Allow yourself to be free from that and find the joy in life no matter what situation you find yourself in. Philippians 4:11 “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.”

 

 

 

 

Blind Spot

Blind Spot

For the last year I have had a blind spot when it comes to one facet of my life. I have apparently duplicated my suffering by not learning a lesson years ago. My hope has always been to see the best in people, even when the best in them has not been shown. I have put aside pain, suffering, wicked behavior, I have allowed lies to pass through my ears and still I have given the benefit of the doubt.

Over the majority of my life I have often allowed people more then one chance at my heart. In fact to be brutally honest with myself, I’ve allowed a few people more then several chances. I’ve been hurt more then my share by people I’ve continued to allow being in my life. While I would have been considered to be the one at fault for allowing someone who had a history of ‘flip flopping’ their position, yes, when it comes to love, I would say I am stubbornly blind.

While 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 speaks about what love truly is, it’s also important to know that at some point while we may love our neighbor, while we may love someone, when that person does nothing but hurt you over and over again, you must learn, like I am still trying to learn, to let them go. We must learn how to not force our will upon others, we must learn to be patient and allow God’s will to come to fruition. I don’t know what the path I’m on is meant to accomplish, but having faith in the creator of the plan, I must realize I’m just a character in someone else’s book. Like it or not I am not in control of the vast majority of what goes on within my life. All I can do is learn to react to each changing moment and try must best to be a Godly man.

While my hope for others and the ones I care about may not be the smartest thing I’ve done, I often see the worst in the world, but see the best in my love, and ignore the bad they do. I can no longer sit idly by and allow myself to be put into harms way over and over again. I have failed myself and the heartbreak I have led myself to over and over again must stop. Divorce is hard on anyone. Perhaps that this is my second divorce, and the second affair I’ve weathered, the family I lost, and the hopes I had to rebuilding it are now utterly gone. For every winter there becomes a spring, and with that spring fresh life. Sometimes in our lives we have to take the blinders off and see the world and ‘someone’ for who and what it really is. We must learn to see the world beyond our narrow view. We must learn to see people for who they are and not who we want them to be.

You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” (Dark Knight Return) While I firmly believe the idea that this may be the case, it certainly has been in my life. The hero’s in my life have become the villains in my story. (Excluding Jesus) Never forget the true hero in our life died upon the cross to save us all from a horrible forever death. While in our life we may meet police officers, firefighters, or soldiers, all of which could be considered heroes, eventually all manner of men will fail you. Sometimes in life the Devil wins and as any true strategist knows, some battles once lost cannot be salvaged. If a battle cannot be won sometimes a retreat and regroup must be made in order to win the war. Never forget the bondage of sin may have been broken, but the war is far from over. Remember to fight the good fight and win what we can. As for me, I know that no matter how dark and cold the winter is, there’s always a way to get colder, and darker. I’m not certain if my winter is over, or if the deepest winter is still coming, but either way, God will provide the path and the direction, and any and all of us can follow, when the blinders come off.

 

Honor Thy Fallen

Honor Thy Fallen

Lately myself along with the rest of the country have watched on the news, and perhaps in person the descent of civilized culture into riots in the streets. While I have no problem with peaceful protests, there is a big difference between a protest and a riot. When you are in the streets and you are calling for the destruction of property, spouting hate left and right, all protected rights in speech should be and are rescinded. While I am choosing not to take a side in this particular political stance, I would like to take the stance on peace and love. Romans 13:13 ““Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying.” While I will take the stance that the KKK, Neo Nazi’s, Black Panthers, they all are wildly inappropriate for the age. I find it quite sad that in today’s world there’s still a measure of hate to this degree. While I believe in the constitution and as I once swore an oath to protect it against all enemies foreign and domestic, that means the entire thing, not just the parts I like, and it doesn’t mean ignore the parts I don’t. While I do believe that freedom of speech has its limits, along with many of the others such as the 2nd amendment, I am a firm believer in your right to peaceful assembly.

Let us take a brief moment to really think about what we’re doing as a nation. In the last 5 years as ISIS moved through city after city and it destroyed artifacts of different cultures, different religions some were over a thousand years old, we as a country watched on television in horror and disgust. No respect many of the viewers said. Today as we watch on TV countless statues and monuments that may not be quite a hundred years old are being torn down, desecrated by angery protestors. My question is what’s the difference? While the left claims they want the ability to coexist are we really doing that? While the Right claims it’s taking the moral high ground, I question if that’s the case also. The left has the black Panthers, which during the last Presidential election with Barack Obama the Panthers stood outside voting places and used intimidation and threatening tactics to push away white Republican voters. While the KKK and Neo Nazi’s protest for the opposite things, I saw that, and while I find both utterly deplorable, it is their right to peaceful public assembly. While I’m not a fan of spouting hate in either direction, I would like to point out how inappropriate it is to group everyone together by allowing false stigmas to rule the day. I would not want anyone to consider me to be the same as someone who belongs to the Westboro Baptist Church. While I am a white male, who attends a predominately white Baptist Church, and while I currently live in the south, does that automatically make me racist? No of course it doesn’t. And while my view may not be the average, perhaps it is.

I believe that racism is an ignorant state of mind and should be a relic of the past. While unfortunate it still exists, it is believed that it only exists because it’s still taught and passed on. Hate is largely a learned trait by the world. 1 John 4:20 “If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?” I am not a perfect man, but I do believe that the strife and discord going on within our fallen nation is a direct contradiction to the teachings found within the Bible. Proverbs 6:16-19 “16 These six [things] doth the LORD hate: yea, seven [are] an abomination unto him: 17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, 18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, 19 A false witness [that] speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.” While I believe in the peaceful gathering to support an ideal or ideology, I believe once you start to destroy property, throw things, light buildings on fire, basically turn from a protest to plundering and discord, that’s when we no longer honor the Father.

 We can disagree without the anger and hate. We can disagree without fighting amongst one another. We can instead respect the differences and speak with grace. Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” No matter if you like it or not Confederate soldiers despite what the war was for, or not for, are U.S. Veterans, and disserve respect. Desecrating monuments because they honor soldiers even ones who fought in a war that had a small portion of its cause to slavery. We fight and riot for something that happened 150 years ago, something that was long enough ago that no one today has been affected by it at all. We’ve seen some of the most influential Americans be of African decent and yet someone claim that racism is the cause that keeps anyone from achieving their goals in life. I myself grew up poor, bouncing from home to home. While I was always around loving people I never knew some of the luxuries may others around me knew. Even to this day, a guy I knew had not one but two houses and one of his houses was twice the size of my own. He lived a life with far more wealth then I may ever know in my life. It had nothing to do with color, just shear will and circumstance. We’ve had a president, high cabinet members, judges, doctors, CEO’s, all from African decent. Any white person in the city of Detroit has the same struggles as any black person from the city of Detroit. Pigment is only skin deep, and has nothing to do with how we present ourselves, how we treat others, the lives or path we choose is our choice and ours alone.

Honor Thy Fallen 2

In World War II we as a nation imprisoned thousands of Asian immigrants all because members of their ‘race’ attacked us the morning of December 7th 1941 by the Empire of Japan. We condemned our own citizens on the acts of a country they no longer lived in. While some of them may have been spies, that doesn’t justify what we did as a country. However wrong that injustice was, the Asian community isn’t reeling in discord. We are not as a nation fighting for the injustices that happen daily within our own boarders but something that happened 150 years ago we just can’t seem to forget. Child sex trafficking happens every day, human slave trade occurs right under our nose at every major event like the Super bowl, but no one stands up against that kind of slavery. No one stands up against the injustice of child soldiers around the world as we speak, or the child laborers who work in slave shops all over the world some making the precious items you love to buy. Why are we so consumed with breaking down our own statues but we say nothing of the pyramids that were built by the hands by Jewish Slaves. We are content with destroying history instead of using them as a reminder so we may never travel down the same path again. Why we allow some injustices to go unnoticed, while others anger the mob to burn down our own cities with pitchforks and torches. We aren’t some monster horror film, and yet we are as content to destroy everything to kill the faceless monster. Are their bigots, sure there are, but we seem to have adopted this all or nothing attitude. We must take a step back and realize that the actions of the many 152 years ago do not dictate the actions of the many now, simply put, the actions of the minority should not implicate the majority. If not every black person wants to be labeled as a thug, not every white person wants to be labeled as racist. And to both sides, I’d say get over it. You’re all part of the same race, and no matter the pigment of your skin, or the country from which you hale, you’re all human beings under One God. God doesn’t see your ethnicity, simply His children, and I don’t think He’d be too happy watching his children bicker and fight as we are. Get it together America, stop fighting amongst yourselves and watch the real enemy. War perhaps is coming and we need to be focused on repairing bonds, not division.

While I realize this will not sit well with many, I would like to point out that whatever the injustice God will be the one to grant justice. No matter what side of the fence you sit on, judgment is for the Lord alone. No matter what side of the fence you sit on hate is not the way because it is not the teaching of the Lord above. Love is the only way to fight hate, the only way to overcome an injustice. Forgiveness and allowing the past to be the past and only learning from it, not to relive it day in and day out. Atrocities are done every day, and every day the Lord shall pass judgment and with God’s guidance we can find hope in forgiveness, and peace in love.

Giving your all

Giving your all

Have you ever loved so deeply, cared for someone so much you felt like you gave your whole life to them? Have you ever cared for someone so much when they were gone you felt as if half of you were ripped away? What about when you meet someone new and you feel strongly about them, not love, but a strong desire to know them, to be there for them, what happens when that isn’t reciprocated? I believe we’ve all gone through this at some point in our lives. There’s a strong reaction to rejection and that reaction’s what we’re going to discuss today. This is an uncomfortable subject so stick with me.

Recently I met someone and the more we talked the more I felt a potential relationship might have been possible. I received a lot of positive feedback early on in our communications and it led me to believe something more in time was more then a likely possibility. When the conversation continued I was shocked when all of a sudden it stopped. The conversation seemed rather benign and since it was just about liking particular movies, I saw no reason the outcome ended the way it did. All communication halted abruptly and the feeling sunk deep in my stomach and my head felt like a kick to the face.

Disappointment is a tough pill to swallow. What does the bible say about disappointment? Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” No matter what we face, or the troubles we find ourselves in God will use them for the purpose of good things. We may not be able to see the good in our pain, or the purpose in our suffering, but through all things the Lord is with us. Psalm 42:11 “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” As King David writes in a moment of sorrow he asks God why he feels such turmoil within his heart. He knows God is with him, he knows the Lord will never forsake him, and in all things God is good always. We too must remember that in our struggles, in our times of weakness the Lord of creation is with us.

Having and keeping the faith that no matter the purpose of someone coming and or going in your life is difficult, but the Lord has a plan. While we may feel like we’ve been hit by a ton of bricks, and while this may be literal or figurative, the Lord will see us through till the end. Often times we wonder why someone hurts us, why someone will leave their spouse in what appeared to be a loving marriage or relationship. While there are many reasons and likely personal explanations, that we won’t discuss today, the simple answer is this. Sometimes the innocent can be collateral damage. If this is the case and the hurt and pain is caused by someone else keep in mind 1 Corinthians 7:15 “But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.” If someone walks away from you, if someone has decided to follow or pursue a path that is not one that is inline with Christ, do not hold onto that. Do not allow that departure to be a reflection upon yourself. Do not hold onto responsibilities for what is not due unto you. We must always take responsibilities for the things we played a roll in rather it be good or bad. Always own up to your own mistakes. We must fight the urge to take responsibility for things beyond our control. Do not allow the sins of another to add to the burdens you already carry. As grotesque as it sounds and is, do not be the proverbial sin eater. Do not take upon yourself, which is not yours. Often times when a relationship ends, if it ends with little to no warning, and you are left to wonder why, and what happened, it’s easy to start blaming yourself. While this is something I myself have yet to master, and may never will, it’s important that whether it’s your spouse, your friends, or other close relationships, always remember that if someone walks away from you, you may not need to take the blame, do not take on the sins of anyone but yourself. Only take on what you must. Have faith in the Lord, and believe that no matter who leaves you, who abandons you, the Lord’s promise is to never leave or forsake, because the Lord made a new covenant, and this promise by God is not one that is broken.

Remember it’s okay to love another, and it’s okay to feel a devotion to someone, but always remember to put God first. When you remember to put God first, the rest will fall into place.

Forging Steel

Forging Steel

 From birth we are being taught new things, how to write, read, how to get along and play with others, share our toys, and many other various traits we learn. One of the hardest lessons is the difference between right and wrong. How hard is it to teach those lessons, and how hard is it to learn? I’m sure many of you have experienced hardships that taught valuable lessons. We learn by doing most of the time, we value experiences in our life. The phrase sometimes we have to learn the hard way is one of the truest statements we’ll ever experience first hand. We see events around us, we feel them some more deeply then others. Sometimes we are the cause and other times we are collateral damage to hard lessons. One of my favorite shows has a quote I love to use. “Living is not for the weak.” (Arrow) It takes a great deal of courage to face the cruelty of this world over and over. Some people happen to face more challenges then others. The strength to carry on is largely one of faith.

 1 Corinthians 3:11-15 11 For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw— 13 each one’s work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. 14 If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. 15 If anyone’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire.” How often is the term forging faith through fire used? Our daily lives and struggles can be considered a crucible. “Most believe there are two types of people who go into a crucible. The ones who become stronger from the experience and survive it, and the ones who die. But there’s a third type. The ones who learn to love the fire and choose to stay in their crucible because it’s easier to embrace the pain when it’s all you know anymore.” (Sabastian Blood, Arrow) How do we face our fire? How do we face our challenges? Do we allow the fire to burn us and break us down?

The thing with good and evil is a certain matter of perspective. In the best stories the villain is often considered the best villains when they are believable or when we can see their point of view. Thus just because something is used for good, or evil you cannot dictate an object. In the movie the Book Of Eli the main villain wants to use the Bible as a weapon to control the towns people. The thing about objects are it’s in the use of the owner. “One mans tool is another man’s weapon.” (Bruce Wayne, Dark Knight Rises) This perspective is interesting and put into the right context explains a good portion of the human condition. We often see things as good or evil. We often see based on perspective, such as a quote from yet another episode of Arrow. “Tot zhe molot chto drobit steklo, kuyet stal.” The same hammer that shatters glass forges steel” (Tayana, Arrow)

I would like to think that as people we could understand both sides of a conflict to better ourselves. We must learn to communicate instead of arguing. We must learn to better ourselves to minimize our judgments. As we go through our own fire, our own crucibles, we must understand that to follow Christ we must learn to allow our old selves to be burnt away, allow our sinful imperfections to be burned away and allow ourselves to follow the Lord. “It’s not enough to just feel the flame You’ve gotta burn your old self away” (Hard Love, by NEEDTOBREATHE) We live by the sword and die by the sword. We must not let the world turn us into hateful, vengeful people. We must learn to Love all, to remember not to allow ourselves to be burned by the fire, instead allow it to burn away anything and everything that isn’t used to live a Godly life. While fire can burn away a life, it can create wonderful pieces of art. A sword for instance is a beautiful creation, a hand-crafted piece of steal that is forged in fire. A sword can break under great pressure, or can withstand the persistent blows it may endure to be used in protecting ones self. Philippians 4:11-13 11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. 12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” In all things take comfort, and allow yourself to embrace a trial, and stand firm in the fire and allow it to burn away what is necessary to be burned away in accordance to Gods will.