Tag: jesus christ

Grief out of Love

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“What is Grief, but love persevering.” Vision

There is no question that life can be hard. Life can leave us broken, battered on the floor. We ask why, why God? We find ourselves alone, lost, in a world full of pain. We lose people we love. Betrayed and sold out by those we cherished. Ignored by friends. Passed over for a promotion at work. Watch a child pass away. Bury a parent after years fighting dementia. We ask why God. We need God, we cannot make it through this alive without God. It is said that God never puts more on us than we can handle. This is utterly not true. God allows us to go through trials and tribulations because his will is perfect. We are not to rely on our own faulty strength but rather, we are to turn to our Abba Father to deliver us from evil. Philippians 4:13 ESV “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” If we relied on our own strength we would fail. Isaiah 41:10 ESV “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” It is Gods strength that sees us through. When left to our own path, our own desires, we often make our situation worse. Life hurts sometimes. Heartbreak happens. This life we live surrounded by the very presence of sin, we are often caught in the sights of sin, or collateral damage to sin, or the origin of the sin impact. This world leaves battle scars. No one gets out of this life without them. No matter who you are, where you come from, you’re going to end up with scars. Fear not says the Lord. Jesus says when you face tribulations, John 16:33 33 These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you [a]will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” Face the world daily and turn to God for everything. Do not pity yourself or the dead, for if they knew the Lord they have not died, but are truly alive. It’s okay to grieve, to miss someone’s presence. Turn to God and find peace.

THE SILENCE GROWS

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The silence grows

I write to you, even pour out feelings, but met with silence. I took the time, I write and write. Day after day, I take my time to beak the silence as I reach out to you. So many out, and nothing in return. Years of building relationships. Years of extensive, extending a hand in friendship. Picking up the phone from every call and message. I extended my wallet, my ear, my trust, my heart, and now it’s silence. A fool I’ve been, I couldn’t see, because I didn’t want too perhaps, my kindness used and abused. In my own time of need you were no where to be found. How could I have been so blind. The years of darkness I felt, suddenly creeps back in. The seeds fall and grow choking the life and happiness from my life. Abandoned yet again, the flash in my mind, as history repeats itself. Broken on the floor the tears just won’t flow. I do not know why, or how I got here. The color fades to black and white, the hurt a crushing feeling that buries in shame. The darkness settles in like an old friend. Must I say goodbye? Must I feel such loss yet again? Is this natures pruning? Did I mean so little to so many? Was I a convenience at the time, and without warning or word, expendable? History it seems repeated again. What have I learned? How to break, how to hurt. I’ve learned so much and yet again, here I am. The lessons seem to fade to mist. What can I do, when I reach for you, I reach and reach, into the darkness. I reach and lunge but like casting the fishing line, it comes up empty, every time. I see you there, you’re always around, but my hand you don’t take, a reach into the folly.

You’re not my enemy, I pray for you, I drop

to my knees and wish happiness upon you. I ask nothing of you except friendship. I have heard your tears. I’ve listened to your screams. You even once, heard mine. So close, but now ships passing on a fog filled night. Should I let go? Should I call out louder? Will my cries be heard? If you wanted to talk wouldn’t you reach out? What should I do? A broken heart makes poor choices. But, it isn’t just broken, but angry. Years and years of open roads. The pouring out of memories, feelings, thoughts, and now the road ends, the road I’d taken for years, can no longer be traveled. An absence, and yet a carrot dangled in front of me, teasing me, a sign, or is it?

I place so much in all the wrong places. I crave acceptance. I crave being wanted, and needed by others. I crave feeling important. I place that up high, an endless race I could never win. How many must I loose before I see the truth? How many must walk away before I find my value elsewhere? I walk miles upon miles seeking what I could never have. A hollow hole, unable to be filled. Jesus set me free from this cycle I find myself in. Jesus set me free from this pain. These shackles bind me and break me. Jesus be my chain breaker and show me a better way. Heal these wounds of the ages, and heal my broken heart. Jesus heal me and light my way home. Jesus my heart hurts, broken from saying goodbye. Jesus you pieced me together atom by atom, cell by cell. You’ve watched me grow, suffer, laugh and cry. Jesus you know my heart is breaking to pieces. Jesus lift me up and dry my tears. Take me out of this place and show me my value in you. Jesus show me that there’s more then this. Jesus my light on the hill, my shepard come find me, a lost sheep in the wilderness. I cannot do this on my own. I am fragile but strong. My heart breaks but I am not broken. I hurt, but I do not crumble to the ground. Jesus my rock, the rock, my foundation, my anchor in the storm, you save me when my sails are torn, and the keel creaks in the rough waters of this storm. Jesus my Lord, Jesus my light, dry my tears and guide me back, guide me to safety, my Lord. I cannot do this without you. I cannot stay in the darkness. I cannot stay in the silence. I long for Harold of the angels. I crave the sound of the choir of Heaven. I seek your face my Lord, I seek you in the darkness, lift me up, save me, save me from myself, this world, this hurt. Show me the blessings, so many abound around me. Teach me to number my days, so I may grow a heart of wisdom. Teach me to manage when I’m at the still waters, the green meadows, or the shadow of death. In you I trust my Lord. You hear my cries, deliver me from this toil.Free me. To you I pray.

The Truth

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The Truth

Being a Christian doesn’t mean I have it together all the time. It doesn’t mean someone is ok all the time. It doesn’t mean you’re never depressed. It doesn’t mean you can’t have other mental illnesses like bipolar or anxiety disorder. It means we realize we cannot possibly make it through this journey alone. We rely on our Lord and Savior to help us through and that we are nothing without Jesus Christ with us.

I am woefully insecure. My mind seeks human approval and acceptance. My mind is wrought with loneliness and self doubt. My insecurities make me question much about myself. I’ll give some examples.

“Hey how are you?”(message seen) two days later still no reply…

(Brain: what did I do? Are they upset with me? They don’t like talking to me. Am I not important to them?)

If I go too long without hearing from someone I question if I matter to that person. Do I cross their mind? Why don’t they say hello. Why don’t they ever check on me? Ultimately years of abandonment have culminated into a fear of such things, along with a deep seated question of self value and a desire for friendships that won’t scatter when the light reveals my imperfections.

As years pass by it seems I have become more and more isolated, not by choice, but by world events. My recent bout with Covid, left me seeking and searching both inside myself and outside for answers. While some people came to my aid, others whom I expected to be there weren’t. It produces a mix of feelings associated with my personal value. Of course the caveat to all of this is both simple and immensely complex. I am a child of God, a follower of Jesus Christ, and God don’t make trash. I have value because I am loved by God. On the flip side, feeling as I do are feelings of the world. The feeling and desire of wanting human contact is powerful. My soul and mind are at odds with one another and with a history of depression, a fierce battle.

The desires that comes and goes to reach out to people, is one that often seems to get me into trouble. It seems the thought of checking on loved ones and friends regularly, even if it’s just to show I care, is often met with feelings of anxiety, and messages left unanswered. Of course, in this age of digital communication, it’s too easy to ignore, and simply vanish in an event now called ghosting, is far too common in my life. Ghosting happens regularly in my life. And on top of that, those whom I had been friends with for years, have up and vanished, leaving me to hold on tight to those relationships I value most. Sometimes creating a catch 22. The desire to keep people close often has the adverse effect of pushing them away. Finding balance has not been my forte’.

Living with this kind of fear of loss is not easy, but there is hope out there to find. When I’m at my lowest, I remember my eternal Father. I remember that Jesus died for me, and that’s something I can’t ever let go of. In order to manage lows, anyone, anytime has to be proactive. In order for me to manage my way through the dark times, I have to create a mix of time with God but also time with people. It’s hard going sometimes, but knowing there’s light at the end of the tunnel is vastly important. Making my way through Covid, and the isolation it created has been a challenge. Many days of long periods of silence, left me in time of study in Gods word. I think back to Paul and the times of solitude in prison. How much less of a man am I, that I should not suffer also? If Paul can do it, I shall also. Paul suffered yet endured. He had a couple people he could always count on, as do I.

Managing these things doesn’t have to be completely debilitating, even though it proves a challenge, life moves on. Finding ways to manage the loneliness, and dealing with the depression that comes with, the lack of motivation, is a cyclical problem to deal with, but one that is nothing beyond what God can manage, and get me though. Time keeps moving forward and so shall I. God gets all the glory, and provides me everything I need. Never keep from moving forward, and never stop fighting the good fight.

Isolated, But Not Alone

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Isolated, But Not Alone

Friends get scattered by the wind.

Loyalty means little to most. 

Truth is relative.

Morality is antiquated. 

So much change out there with how we view others. So much change with how we view even some of the simplest of beliefs and ideologies. We lose our way so easily. Moses was not gone long before the people forgot how God delivered them, yet found comfort in a golden café. How quickly do we move on from the good things we’ve had? How quickly the grass fades and the other side looks nice and lush. How quickly our spouse becomes old and no longer exciting so we seek the next best love of our lives. How fast do we get the newest gadget that the next is released and ours seems antiquated. And friends, how quickly do they disappear when you no longer have anything to offer. 

It’s easy to run towards to great sales in this life, but as scripture says, Matthew 6:19 “19 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal;” 

I have been in quarantine now for a little while. I have enjoyed some nice messages, some thoughtful food drop off’s, and some calls. It’s made me consider, while I have received these things, there are a great many who after nearly two weeks have not returned my message. Those who say they’ll there, but never are. Those who claim to be there when it’s needed. And while I’m not complaining for the Lord has provided, it does force me to ask, if there were a time needed, isolation would probably be a good time to be available. Again, I’m not complaining, but if this is happening to me, I wonder how many people out there have less than I do. How many people go on suffering alone, wishing those would reach out, but never do. Indeed, it has become a time where we are the most accessible, but the least reachable. A time when a phone call is no longer the norm, but instead, hidden under the pillow. A time when messages can be seen day or night, but set to ignore. Indeed, a society so busy, our priorities are no longer each other, but something else entirely. 

There is a reason isolation is considered to be a psychological torture. We are not meant to be alone for long periods of time. The truth is, that time is different for everyone. Everyone has a threshold and sadly, in these dark times, the mental health crisis is worse than it has been in a long time. My own experience has not been as bad as it could have been, but while there were a few that I expected to be around, that weren’t, I know that others out there have a far different experience. Are we truly doing our best to bare one another’s burdens when needed? Are we letting down those friends when we say “lean on me.”? I am sure I’ve not been there as I should have, and while I cannot think of any times right off the top of my head, I would gladly own up to it, and attempt to make it right. 

If this experience has taught me anything, it’s some people, even those you would never expect, will not always be there for you when you need them to be. Certainly, as difficult as it may be to stomach, there is but one we can count on, rely on, in our time of need and crisis, and that’s Jesus Christ. I cannot imagine what life for Paul would have been like, going to prison after prison, beating after beating, stoning after stoning, all in the name of Christ. I cannot imagine how difficult those times would have been, but through it all, Paul says the Lord’s grace is sufficient. The Lord gives us everything we need to get through every situation. The great provider. He may not give us what we expect, or even in the manner in which we expect it, but we have everything we need. To those out there alone, I say this, keep reaching out. The Lord will provide to you someone who is willing to listen, able to help you bare that cross. Don’t lose hope. Friends, if you think you have let someone down, reach out to them. It’s never too late to remind someone you care. Keep pushing on in this tumultuous time. The Lord will see you though. 

Point Of View

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Point Of View 

“From my point of view the Jedi are evil!” Anakin Skywalker. This was when we knew and understood that Anakin Skywalker had truly fallen to the dark side. We see how from his particular point of view the Jedi no longer stood for what they truly believed in, that they were in fact too weak to bring order to the galaxy. A story not too dissimilar then that of Satan standing and turning against God. From Satan’s point of view, God wasn’t doing a good enough job, and be it jealousy of humanity, or not enough attention, or something else entirely, Satan felt he could do a better job ruling over the galaxy and attempted to overthrow God, foolishly I might add. But, in Satan’s story, we Christians, God Himself are the bad guys. We have a hard time understanding that, and moreover we as humans have an even harder time separating truth from opinion, from point of view. 

We often say truth is relative, but that’s a farce. There is no such thing as relative truth. There may be a difference in point of view, but that hardly means one thing is true for someone, is not true for someone else. This pizza taste great, is not a truth, it’s an opinion. Abortion is okay, is both an opinion, but also can be settled by what is true. To some people murder is okay, but as society goes, as scripture goes, cold blooded murder is not. This is a truth. As far as truth goes, it is defined as such “That which is true or in accordance with fact or reality.” (Websters) Now, let me preface this by stating we as humans have often said something was true that clearly we were wrong. We have often stated things such as the sound barrier could never be broken, or the earth was flat, or the center of the universe, or faster than light travel is impossible, all of which have now been deemed possible or plausible, or flat truth, pardon the pun. Scripture, however, when examined correctly, carefully, and objectively will indeed reveal truth. For this particular argument I will offer up two authors and Christians, (Former Atheists) who would do a far better job at explaining why this is true. “A Case for Christ: Lee Strobel” And “Cold Case Christianity: J. Werner Wallace”

While point of view is important, and I daresay vital to the discussion, we have gotten so far away from respectful discord, to building walls. I find it ironic that a southern border wall is such a hot button topic for so many, but in the same breath determine that the conversation of Christianity is met with walls. We have gone so far now as to try and live without laws, live without rules, and determine that these things are fluid concepts, and thus by definition fit the term anarchy, “a state of disorder due to absence or nonrecognition of authority.” If there are no true rules, no true right and wrong, then law and order will constantly be under attack from both criminals, and those sympathetic to them. I can show you what this kind of behavior and ideas gets you. 

Once upon a time, and man beloved by the people is hailed as a hero, and welcomed with open arms, and a party. This man was conspired against by the elite and the powerful. The people then were gathered together to witness a trial, charges brought against this man. When given the chance, a swap was offered, the innocent man, or the man known to be a vial criminal, with a long history of crimes. The innocent man was called to be put to death. We today essentially do the same thing all around us. We make choices of innocent and guilty within moments of a news broadcast. We determine guilt or cause before the truth comes out. We have little care or worries about truth anymore. Today if we feel something, then it is right for ‘us’. While of course this is true of some things, which cheese is the best, which football team is the best, etc. This does not have a complete blanket to cover everything. I have been putting much thought into the term truth. Many years ago I experienced an event that I knew was my fault. I believed entirely that I was to blame, and my hurt and heartache was punishment for my wrong doing. I spent so much time believing this as truth, that I missed out on something important. People will say and do things to you, things that hurt, and it’s often done out of anger, but that doesn’t make them true.  Let me explain. When I was a younger man I got married out of love. Foolish, but true. I let go of my dreams, my career, and my brothers for a woman. I would get married quickly, but assuredly and would end up moving across the world to live in another country. After just a few short years, I would find out about an affair, and it would leave my life in shambles, rebuilding, and at a loss. God would see fit to give me someone new, and for a few years we would build a good life for ourselves. Sadly, after seven years together, I would endure yet another affair, and watch this time a my entire foundation cracked and the walls crumbled down upon me. A foundation that was not built with God in the center of my relationship. God was not my foundation, even though he was in my life, he was not what I built my house on. That is the truth. The truth I gravitated too was, it had to be me. I was the one at fault. I was the one that pushed them away. I was the one they choose to leave, and I was the common denominator. I allowed this to permeate my entire body and I accepted it as truth. I let the pain and suffering I was experiencing, alter my perspective. I blamed God for my suffering, and I was angry, hurt, and for lack of a better term, I was a broken man. It’s easy to let circumstances sway our perspective, even if we know the truth. Look at the word happy for an example. What makes you happy, think about it for a moment. For some of you, you thought about a food, perhaps an alcoholic beverage, or maybe someone. Some people might have thought about a new home, or a new job? The thing with all of these, is while there’s nothing inherently wrong with these things (unless the person is not your spouse if you’re married, then yes, that one isn’t part of the discussion. But otherwise, every new home comes with its own set of problems. Every new job comes with a litany of its own troubles. Even relationships come with a new set of problems.

Christmas this year is that for many. Christmas this year as many have called the least ‘Christmasy’ feel they’ve ever felt. I myself have felt this way, but the truth is, we have so much to be thankful for. Our emotions are easily swayed, and because our happiness fluctuates so easily, the voice of darkness easily creeps in when we are not vigilant. I have watched as friends come and go in the past years. I have watched as opinions change, and paths diverge. I would like to say this, may this Christmas bring you healing, and reconnection. May this coming year be a reminder how fragile our lives are. We all have our own points of view, our own vantage points, but we must be able to look past and show love and compassion. If we have learned nothing this year except how important relationships are, and how divided we’ve become. So many opinions floating around, and through it all, we see fractures not only in our country, but in families, in friendships, and it’s heartbreaking. While we all have our own opinions whether or not they are based on facts, we must learn to listen, learn to talk, and more importantly, we must learn to hear. While there are many great and wonderful stories of people coming together to love and help their fellow man, we have also seen a year of great turmoil, and heartache. For a country bleeding, for a country splitting at the seams, one would think we would be coming together. The sad reality is, we’ve let our points of view, our vantage points be a place of contention and we aren’t willing to hear what the other side has to say. We are all to busy walking away from relationships, friendships, or too busy talking to hear. 

Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” We must consider what hills do we want to fight for, or what can we let go of? We need to learn to communicate more, and be more willing to sit down and talk. We should not be walking away from meaningful relationships, meaningful friendships, for little cause. Truth is found where there is evidence. Real truth is not subjective, and the truth is we need one another now more than ever. Fellowship is so important to Gods creation. God said to Adam, it is not good for you to be alone. While we cannot meet in person we can still communicate through technology. Hebrews 10:25 “Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” Are we making it a habit of ignoring friends? Are we making it a habit of walking away from people? Are we making it a habit to close doors simply because of an opinion difference? Whatever the cause the question is did we do anything to reason or rectify any wrongs? 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”

We all have fallen short of the Glory of God. We must be gracious, filled with mercy, and love, and compassion. Let us remember who the enemy is, and divided we are a much easier target. Let us set aside our petty differences, and come together under the blood of Christ, and show true love to one another. Let us celebrate this Christmas holiday for what it is, the celebration of the birth of Christ. Christ our Lord and Savior who was born, raised by Marry and Joseph, ordained by God, led a perfect, sinless life, and was crucified under Pontius Pilate. He was buried and on the third day rose again. He walked with the people for 40 day, and ascended into Heaven. This is truth. This is true, and accurate, and evidence driven truth. Jesus Christ concurred death, and has given us hope. Let us not grow weary of doing good in the name of Christ. Let us be renewed daily of His Spirit. Let us build up one another, especially after such a hard year. Say I love you more often. Hug a little tighter. Speak cheer more frequently, and reconnect with those you’ve been away from for far too long. The Angels said this, Luke 2:10 “Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.” We have so much to be thankful for, and so much to place our joy in, we should be sharing that love to all we can. Despite having such a hard year, every day is a new day, and we are given new chances to do great things with every day. Don’t let the Devil tell you, you can’t, you shouldn’t, you aren’t worthy, you are too far gone, or it’s too late. Don’t allow the lies to permeate your ears and rob you of your joy. From the Devils perspective God is the evil one, and that’s why Satan, Lucifer is truly lost. Emotions clouded his judgment and he missed out on the relationship with God. Don’t miss out in your own relationships with God, and those around you. Rise up, and have a very joyful, and Merry Christmas, because there’s so much, truly, to be joyful about. Count your blessings, big and small, and you too will see, Glory to God in the Highest, and Peace and Good Will Towards All Men/Women. 

Continuity

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Continuity 

2020’s been a year has it not? We’ve seen all manner of strange, hurtful, heartbreaking, loss, a little laugh, a crazy election, murder hornets, killer viruses, and so much more. One thing that’s been hard is continuity. Well first, I suppose one must define continuity, Websters defines it as, “The unbroken and consistent existence or operation of something over a period of time.” I think it’s safe to say this year has not been one with anything consistent. I think it’s this consistency I want to talk about. Life is by definition a broken thing. We know that from the fall, all things are in a never-ending cycle. Genesis 3:17-19 “And to Adam he said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, ‘You shall not eat of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; 18 thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. 19 By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken;

for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” We see the fall of man, where perfection became stained with the blackness of sin. A mark on creation that would require a New heaven, and a New Earth. The continuity was broken, and a cycle of death was born. Scripture is always telling us where we must turn in our struggles. Scripture tells us where we must receive our hope, and it’s not here in the world. 

I have fallen short every day of my life. I have let someone down, hurt someone’s feelings, made mistakes, the wrong choices, or followed the wrong path. I think the worst thing I have done; is I have not had continuity in my relationship with Abba. I think my failings to have a steady and solid relationship with God is my biggest fault. See, the thing is, I have always struggled with male figures in my life. There’s been substantial trust issues, and it keeps me guarded to make male friends, and as much as I’ve attempted to gain an earthly father figure, I’ve been abandoned or ignored most of my life. On the rare occasion someone rose to the occasion I became scared and I was the one to run away. I have constantly felt the desire to surround myself with friends. I have always had the need to feel accepted and wanted by people. Largely because I did not feel wanted as a child. I’ve been putting a lot of thought into my life today though. I have been trying to find my place, and sadly, coming to the realization where I believe I must go in the middle of a pandemic is beyond problematic. For someone who desires continuity in their life, a pandemic certainly pushes one to their limits. I have not seen many plans come to fruition. So, where do I stand? I honestly couldn’t tell you. As I recently told a friend, I feel as if I’m stuck in the mud chest deep, sunk in, and unable to move. I think in many ways we all feel that way this year. I would like to also say this; many people think being a Christian means you don’t have doubts, or struggles, hardships, or even depression. Being Christian doesn’t mean any of that. The difference between Christians and non-Christians, is where we place our hope. We feel the same, we bleed the same, we hurt the same, but we keep pushing forward with Hope. We keep joy in our hearts, and even beaten to the ground, we keep that joy burning. An ember can turn into a mighty flame, and we can survive in that hope. In fact, that hope is what keeps us alive, not in this worldly sense, but our eternal souls. 

So it is that survivability I want to talk about. We must not grow weary of doing good, and we must continue to pray without ceasing. We must continue to push ourselves, even when life feels like everything’s crumbled around us. One thing we know, is the one thing in life we can place our hope in, is the single most continuous thing in the universe. God’s love, and grace, and mercy, simply put, who God is, has never change, and will never change. So, here’s where I throw down the gauntlet. Are you reflecting that same mercy, and kindness, and grace towards others? Are you a friend that shows continuity? Are you there for your friends? Are you available for them when they need you? Are you the father you should be? Are you there for your kids, kind, and compassionate, not sometimes but all the time? Are you a reliable employee? Are you a son or daughter who’s there for your aging parents? Anywhere in our life, we can take this lens and we can peer deep down, and evaluate where we are, and how we’re doing across the board. We truly do have so much to be thankful for, so much to be grateful for, but at the end of the day, those who depend on us, have we been there for them? I think it’s something we all need to have a gut check about. Who have we pushed away this year? Who have we ignored messages or calls from? Who have we failed to keep in touch with? Who have we failed to be that dependable person too? If God is always with us, Emanuel, then why is it so easy for us to push others to the side or the back burner. We have truly forgotten the good will towards men. We claim being busy, or distracted, or even joke about being a ‘bad friend’, but we truly need to take a look inward, and see those who depend on us. Are we doing everything we can to be someone they can truly depend on? This year has been exceedingly difficult for millions, and as such, this Christmas more than most, we really should ensure we are dependable for those who need us. Show love, let the light shine off you and be more Christlike daily. We have so much more potential to love, to give, to show mercy, and grace, so we must be doing that, fulfilling the law of Christ. Love, covers a multitude of sins, and that means we must be more patient, more giving, more graceful, humbler, more truthful, not being rude, and certainly does not think evil. We should grab onto a little Christmas spirit, but not just for the season, but year-round. We need to bring back the loving your neighbor part, and be a friend a friend would love to have. Be a reliable friend, a reliable employee, husband, wife, brother, sister, spouse. Be a reliable parent, and so much more. Our God has not changed, and is always the same, there for us, day or night. Our father hears our prayers in our good times and in our bad, on the mountain, or in the valley. We should remember that with how we choose to treat others. Continuity is not just important for stability of life, but our relationships as well. Don’t forget, and Merry Christmas to all! 

In The Year 2020

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In The Year 2020 

I think we can all agree, the year 2020 will forever be remembered as a weird, and in many aspects, a horrible year. Early in the year with the exception of the Corona Virus wreaking havoc in Asia, it seemed like a normal year. By February however I came to realize China was loosing the battle of containment, the government in the US did not take the virus serious enough, and failed to implement containment protocols. The country since then has been burning down. There have been cities erupting into anarchy in riots and protests. There have been Murder Hornets, and country wide fires in Australia. There have been volcano eruptions, earthquakes, and even as recent as August, there has been a Hurricane, and an Earthquake in North Carolina in the same week. North Carolina doesn’t often have earthquakes so it’s odd. There was a massive explosion in Lebanon which nearly leveled the city. There was a major plane crash in Pakistan. Locusts in Africa. Explosions in Lagos, and sadly more. 

With such a polarized year, politicly, economically, naturally, and even the micro problems inside the homes of billions of people worldwide, the problems of finances, food shortages, rising food costs, lowering of gas prices, depression and other mental health problems, there have been a slew of challenges to overcome. Not to mention the polarizing problems over school, masks, and other hot button topics. 

There is no shortage of troubles, in fact, the year 2020 is being used as a measurement of how bad things can get. While there are many who are afraid of what’s going on right now in the world, Christ overcomes fear through us. What is fear? Fear is an emotion response to something we perceive as dangerous or harmful. Fear of falling is actually a fear of dying, because it’s not the fall that kills you, it’s the ground. Fear of the water, essentially is not water itself, but rather what’s in it, what you cannot see, or something such as a flood. Fear of fire, again, is the fear of the destruction it brings, or the life it ends. Fear of failure is not living up to expectations, of not amounting to anything, not being good enough. When you really break it down, 2020 has hit most people’s fear in some way shape or form. Fear of losing jobs, losing loved ones, losing homes, stability, or even your health. We are a combined equivalent to the life of Job. When you read the book of Job you see a man who had everything his heart could want, a man truly content with his life. God gave Satan permission to stricken Job with numerous disasters, to test humans resolve of faith towards God. Job loses everything. It is not much different then today. While it was one person who was stricken with all kinds of problems, every one of us has experienced at least one disaster that befell Job. The thing about Job was, he knew the Lord, and he trusted the Lord. While he did not understand his torment, he remained faithful, even despite his friends turning their backs on him. Under extreme circumstances Job maintained his witness to the Lord. Can we say the same? Job was stricken with so much heartache, ruin, destruction, and yet remained faithful and loyal to the Lord. We experience one tragedy and how quickly are we to turn to the Lord and shake our fist, “Look what you let happen!” We yell to the Lord, or perhaps worse things are said. 

I have come to a point in my life where I have realized the importance of seeing when a door closes to move on to the next. Much like the storm troopers looking for the droids in “A NEW HOPE’. Once the door being checked is locked, move on to the next. We too are searching, are we not? We are looking for the route to take, but I question each and every one of us, are we taking the path which is the easiest, or the right one? As Dumbledore is quoted, “We must all face the choice between what is right, and what is easy.” Of course, we creatures who desire comfort and ease above most other things, don’t want a life of turmoil and hardships. That being said, we do forget that this life is only temporary, and it is eternal glory that awaits any person who accepts Christ as both Lord and Savior. This gift of glory is not for the faint of heart, yet, as scripture said, a narrow road. Many will try, few will succeed. While we are not given a percentage, or even a number of those allowed into the gates of heaven, as some suggest, we know that Christ said ‘and on that day many will call out my name stating Lord Lord, look at what I have done in your name.’ He replies, “Depart from me for I never knew you’ Matthew 7:22. Are we to be one of those people who work so hard to enter the gates of Heaven, yet fail to grasp the point in our hearts? I’m not sure which is worse, those who never knew Christs, or those who did and turned their backs on Him.

It is easy to place blame when something goes wrong. It’s easy to start dropping names as to why things flew off the rails. Someone said this, this person did that, etc. I myself have been guilty of proclaiming ‘God, why are you doing this to me?’ In reality, when most bad things happen as we perceive them as bad, God is in fact not to blame, instead we could blame Satan, Sin, or the harder finger to point, towards ourselves. Bad things happen in this world, simply because it’s a fallen world. While Satan and his demons do play a large roll in falling to the temptations, hearing the voices of doubt, the voices of fear, the voices of mistrust, and lust, and gluttony, and debauchery, we are the ones who must take responsibility not for the bad things that tempted us, but rather for giving in to those temptations. The world under Satan’s rule is designed to tempt you, to pull you away from the Cross. On the day of reconning, we will have to answer for everything we’ve ever done, every choice we’ve made, everything thing we’ve said, all of it. We will not be able to pass blame like the six year old siblings arguing with each other. Simply, here in the year 2020, there’s been a lot of hardships, a lot of heart break, and more. Despite everything, we must still face the fact we are fully responsible for our actions in this life. We as Christians are responsible for the name Christ we claim to hold. We have taken on the responsibility for being set apart of this world, to act and look different. That doesn’t mean just talking differently or attending church seasonally, but rather being that reflective light on the hill. We are ambassadors in this land, and we must act as such, to include our general state of mood. While I’m not saying you can’t have bad days, hard days, or even seasons of depression, but rather, while battling these storms in your life, remember to share the joy that you should always keep guarded from outside attacks. Attacks come every day, from every direction, and this year, we humans have certainly seen our fair share of hardships. I have heard many claim this is the beginning of the end times. While I don’t know, because scripture says we won’t know the time of the Lord’s return, what I do know is we must always be ready for that day.

We mustn’t worry about tomorrow, as “it will worry for itself”. Matthew 6:34. We cannot control the events of the day, yet called to be in our present, so let us instead focus our time on the truth. Focus our time on the things that truly matter. While it is important that jobs matter, and making an income matters, we mustn’t let that steal away our focus to our children, our spouses, our loved ones, or our friends. Relationships are the most important thing. If it isn’t, why then would Christ tell us the most important thing is to “Love our neighbor”. He didn’t say make sure you go to work 90 hours a week to put food on the table. We reap what we sew, but that fellowship, that relationship with the Lord, and our relationships with people are in fact the most important thing. We seem to have forgotten that this year. While we have been called to social distance, instead of personal distance, we have perhaps forgotten that while we are away from work, school, and other social gatherings, that it is in fact, the will of our Father that we remain social beings. It is stated in scripture that our fellowship is important, and we shouldn’t forget it. We must remember to remain safe, but through technology we have been given a wonderful gift of communication. It is the sword of the Holy Spirit we must hold on to, and through the forging of our minds, and our spirits, we must venture through this year, and into the next, ready to battle against more divide, battle against more racism, more sexism, more discrimination, and at the heart of it, more hate. Every passing day where we do not keep out such things, we fall prey to the roaring lion seeking to devour us. As said in scripture, it is not against flesh and blood we battle, but against principles, against the power, against the rulers of darkness. Ephesians 6:12. We must pick up the sword which is the word, and hold it high so our enemies may see the glint of the light emanating from it. We must rise above the lies, and the deceits told by Satan and his demons. The sword is more powerful than any weapon ever forged by man, and it is the living truth, the Holy Book, written as God’s love letter to us, instruction in which we must follow, guidance for when we are hurting, a compass for when we are lost, correction for when we are wrong, and the punishment for those who fail to accept Jesus Christ as both Lord and Savior.

Yes 2020 has been a hard year, but it has been so much more than just difficult. For many this year, they have had to learn to reinvent themselves. For many their faith was put to the test. For many, they walked away from church and haven’t returned, and won’t. This year has strained relationships, strained wallets, fractured families, and even a nation. It has become evident that the foundation in which this country was founded has cracked and changed. We have seen disruption come in every aspect of life, and God has used this horrible virus to get our attention. Will we turn our backs on Him? Will we bend a knee and bow a head? Some, sadly have simply put, given God the middle finger, and have chosen to double down on their lost, sinful behavior. We must remember what scripture teaches us. If we are to correct, first we must remove the plank from our own eye. Then we are to do so with kindness and compassion. More precisely we are to do everything in love and with love, and through love. We cannot simply say, ‘I’m doing this because I love you.’ If we are not kind, and gentle, yet firm and patient, we have not truly understood what it is to love. Even though Job went through horrible things, he knew God still loved him. Even though God allowed horrible things to happen to his child Job, God felt deeply for what Job was going through. Just because bad things happen to you, doesn’t mean the Father doesn’t also hurt for you. When you take your child to get braces, or a shot, those pains are temporary, but necessary. You as a parent also hurt when your child hurts, and sometimes in their life they are going to hurt. We cannot always stop our children’s hurt, and we can’t always be there for them every step of the way. Let me put that another way. It is not always in a parents best interest for the child, to stop the hurt from coming. Pain is what allows us to grow. Pain in making our own choices. Pain in growing. Pain in other people’s choices, but no matter where the pain comes from, as a parent you know you will stand with your child. Even the best of parents in this life will never measure up to the parent God is. The perfect Abba father. The one who knows all, sees all, and understands all we go through. Scripture tells us this pain on earth is only but a while, but compared to the joy in eternity it is nothing, just a whisp of smoke. We must be patient in this life and expect more difficult years, and yet, even in the difficult years, we must take the time to appreciate the majesty that is this world the Lord has given us. What am I trying to say? Stop focusing on all the negative in your life and stop and appreciate some art, stop to appreciate a song, stop to appreciate your favorite show, your family, your friends, your life, and the time the Lord has given to you. Every breath is in fact a gift, and we must learn to be more grateful, than doubtful. We must learn to be more gracious, and have gratitude for every good gift that comes from our loving father in heaven. Keep on pushing on, and as always, God Bless you this holiday season.

Plot A New Course and Engage

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Plot A New Course and Engage 

The captain orders the helmsman to plot a new course and to set sail. A few turns at the wheel, and the ship begins to turn, a new azimuth is set and along that line the ship travels. The ease in which we change course in our cars, or on bicycles is amazing, but on foot, we need to be vigilant. We must stop and check our course often because we by nature will easily get off course. The hardships we face in life, or even when everything is going as smooth as glass, we can get ourselves off course. Once in a while we need to stop, make camp, rest, and pull out our map. 

In land navigation we learn to check our heading or azimuth every 100 meters. We do this by having a pace count, a map reader, and someone checking the compass. Every 100 meters an azimuth is shot, and a new landmark is set. Sadly, life isn’t that easy. We can’t always plan by one event, or one mile marker at a time. Sometimes, as were navigating we come across a mountain, a cliff, or a body of water. Sometimes these things come out of nowhere and weren’t apart of the plan. We must learn how to respond when these obstacles arise. What are these obstacles? They can be a sudden illness, a sudden change in relationship status, a child, a change at your job, an in law moving in, etc. you name it, almost anything can be a hurdle to overcome. 

It’s important for us to be listening to the Holy Spirit and know when it’s time to change course. I heard something a while ago, “just because it’s always been done that way, doesn’t mean we have to keep doing it.” Sometimes in order to grow, change needs to take place. Sometimes we will reach a point in our lives, and we have to decide which way to go. No matter what the situation we always make choices. Sometimes it’s hard to walk away from something you enjoy. Every now and then we have to walk away in order to grow or to reach our potential. Let me explain. Let’s think of the story of Hercules. The story goes he was a troubled youth. A demigod with extraordinary abilities. What if he had chosen to stay home, take a wife, and have a family? Would that be wrong of him? No, of course not. But, if he does stay home, he never reaches his true potential, never fights the monsters, saving so many lives. While this is a larger than life character, we can look at the Disney movie for inspiration. Do we go the distance? Do we tell ourselves we will do what it takes to reach that greatness? Our path should never be about our own greatness, instead knowing that any greatness we have comes from the Lord. Any achievements we have are because the Lord has blessed us. If we are to achieve the sky as the limit, we do it to glorify God. We however, cannot reach our heights if we choose to stay in the shallow ends. How can we truly bring glory to God if we always play it safe? We must be willing to step out into deeper waters. We must be willing to reach for the golden ring. We must be willing to dig deep and make the hard choices. Nothing about following Christ is easy, but as Paul told Timothy “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” 

Are we listening to the little voice inside us? Are we hearing what the Holy Spirit is telling us? There is danger all around us when we travel outside our door. There is even danger now inside our homes. We see the danger on TV, in movies, in the music we listen too, and even the books we read. We must learn to decide what we feed our minds, and our hearts. We must not allow those dangers to hit our ship. We must not allow those eddies and currents to push and pull us off course. The Devil wants to keep you distracted so you don’t see the huge waterfall in front of you. Without the Holy Spirit to keep our compass on, we can easily veer off course and find ourselves falling out of control towards the sharp rocks at the bottom.

We will always be faced with choices, ‘do I stay here or take that job across the country?’ Do I leave this job when I don’t have another?’ Do I stay in this relationship and hope he changes?’ Do I keep this child or seek abortion?’ ‘Do I drop out of school to work and help my family?’ Not everyone choice is clean and clear cut. What is however, is scripture. What does the Bible say? What is the Holy Spirit telling you? The Devil will most assuredly tell you what he thinks, but as he tempted Christ, make no mistake, he tempts you also. While sometimes there’s no easy solution, God is telling you which way to go. And I will say this, God will never tell you to do something contrary to his Holy Word. God’s word stands true yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Follow his word, and listen to the spirit guide you. 

What happens when you get off course? 

We all get off course sometimes. It doesn’t matter who you are, saint or sinner, we all get off course. We are not perfect, no not one of us. We all hold the filthy burden of sin. That sin nature as Paul said, “the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak.” While of course we don’t want to walk outside of God’s grace, but when we do, we need to know we are always welcome back. We must learn to be open to have others tell us when we are walking astray. So often we don’t want to be told we aren’t right. We don’t want to be told what we are doing is harmful. You can’t tell an addict they are an addict. You can’t tell a gambler they have an addiction. You can’t tell an adulterer they are wrong. While of course we need to tell them, it is not likely they will hear you. We are all those people though. At some point in our lives we take a detour and we get off course. We need to be teachable, and most importantly, be reachable. Don’t fall so far that you have to hit the rocks at the bottom of the waterfall, before you listen. 

We know that grace saves. We know that mercy is granted to us. We can never earn it, we can never deserve it, but we are given all, because of one thing and only one thing, the love of Christ. God so loved the world he gave, he sacrificed his one and only son, to pay the ransom for our sins. He knows we will mess up. He knew on the cross we’d mess up. And yet despite all our short comings, despite our retched paths we take, the words forever ring true, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.” We we’re not saved because we are worthy of saving, instead we are saved despite our treachery. That’s Love. If we are loved that much, then we can at the very least, do our part to bring Glory to the Fathers name. We can listen and let the spirit guide us. We can be obedient and follow where He leads us. Paul tried to teach to Jews in the temple and eventually he listened to the spirit, he would instead bring the word to Gentiles. He would try to go into Asia, and after three try’s he realized he was not meant to travel into Asia. We must not only walk the path, but listen for the changes that come. Be willing to adjust the plan, change the plan, and sometimes throw away the plan. God needs no explanation, only soldiers that follow orders. God never needs to explain why or how, for His ways are perfect. He is righteous, and his plans are perfect. If we remain flexible and willing to listen to the Holy Spirit, then no matter what comes, we shall continue on in our joy. Never in my life have I been more miserable than when I try to walk my own path. It wasn’t that I was walking without God in my heart, but I wasn’t being obedient. Essentially I told God, ‘I love you God, but I think my way is better for me, than what you want me to do.’ It sounds silly, but ultimately, much like the Borg ‘resistance is futile.’ The years I spent running from God I had one miserable experience after another. Now, don’t get me wrong, since I stopped doing that, it has in no way been ‘a walk in the park Kazanski,’ but instead, the trials I face have in many ways been more difficult, I feel more equipped to handle them, because I’m on the path God wants me on. Once you make the choice to follow Christ, to really pick up that cross and follow Him, the Devil takes your number. The Devil cannot abide you being accepted into eternal salvation. He will do to you, what he tried to do to Job. He will bombard you with insults, tragedies, temptations, any sinful desire he can throw at you, just to pull you off course. The Devil wants nothing more than for us to drag the name of Christ through the mud. The Devil wants you to mess up, screw up, make Christ look bad, because the world will judge you harshly on what Christian look like. Is that fair? No, but fair is not in the Bible. 

Maintaining a course in the storm is perhaps one of the most difficult things a sailor will ever do. It takes time and effort, courage, and skill to maintain ones heading when the swells are high, the winds are horrific, and the rain never relents. Make no mistake, some storms Jesus will calm, others, you may have to navigate. This isn’t because Jesus doesn’t love you, it’s because the teacher cannot always do your work for you. In order for you to learn, and grow, sometimes it’s hard, and sometimes it hurts. When you rely on Christ for your strength you can overcome anything, because you know, you learn that it is not truly your strength that gets you through, but that which the Lord gives you. When it comes time to choose your path, to choose your heading, be mindful of what the spirit is telling you. Be vigilant to hear all the voices talking to you. Satan is very, very good at what he does. He’s very good at making the vinegar seem like honey. You need to use discernment to tell the difference and hear the voice of truth, not the voice of lies. Learning how to do this takes time, and effort, and it takes a whole lot of action. You must be praying to God daily, you must be listening, and reading scripture daily. Hear what the spirit is telling you. Walk with God so when the day comes you are faced with those tough choices, you can hear the voice of truth much more clearly. Keep your armor up, and always be ready for the fight when it comes to you. The Father has not given you a spirit of fear, but a spirit of courage, so you may stand against the forces of darkness, and emerge victorious. 

Making the Leap of Faith

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Making the Leap of Faith

Often times in life we are met at a cross roads, one that will leave us to ask, which way do I go? When we get to these kinds of situations it’s important to do two things. First, we must pray, and pray fervently. Scripture tells us to pray without ceasing. So, why are we supposed to pray? God gave us a love letter. God gave us not only the rule book, but the play book, a book of important historically accurate events which show us the path from the fall of man, to the redemption that Christ paid for in blood. In that book reveals that we pray because God wants us to pick up the phone and call Him. We pray because GOD wants us to tell him our heart, our desires, give thanks for what we have. Many people take the Lord prayer literally, and while of course it’s a wonderful prayer, a perfect prayer, it does more than that. It shows us how to pray. So, before we get into the second point on why we pray, lets break down the Lords prayer. ]

Matthew 6:9-13

In this manner, therefore, pray:

Our Father in heaven,

Hallowed be Your name.

10 Your kingdom come.

Your will be done

On earth as it is in heaven.

11 Give us this day our daily bread.

12 And forgive us our debts,

As we forgive our debtors.

13 And do not lead us into temptation,

But deliver us from the evil one.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

Luke 11:2-4

2 So He said to them, “When you pray, say:

Our Father in heaven,

Hallowed be Your name.

Your kingdom come.

Your will be done

On earth as it is in heaven.

3 Give us day by day our daily bread.

4 And forgive us our sins,

For we also forgive everyone who is indebted to us.

And do not lead us into temptation,

But deliver us from the evil one.”

When we look at these parallel verses, we can break it down. First, who are you praying too? Second is a title, who is God? Next is giving God his due, that he is over all Heaven and Earth, and that we must trust and have faith that God will is perfect and thus give it the ability to be done in our lives. We ask for something in our lives, to be nourished, to be nurtured. Then before we go further, we ask for our sins to be forgiven, that we repent of our wrongs. In a sense we are removing the plank from our eye, we are getting right, before we can do right. Then we forgive those who have sinned against us. We are then asking for protection from the Devil, guarding our hearts from the temptation of the world, and delivering us from that evil. 

While we are given these two mirroring examples, this is more of a template than an order to pray exactly this prayer. When you look at what Jesus says in Matthew, he says “In this manner” meaning when you pray, pray something like this. Prayer is not just ‘God, I need this (Fill in the blank) could you do this for me?’ or worse making these kinds of prayers, ‘Lord if you get me out of this, I’ll never do (blank) again.’ We must pray with more honesty, and not just turn to God when we need something. He is NOT a cosmic genie granting us wishes at our desire. 

How do you feel when that friend only talks to you when they need something? We don’t like it, so why then would we do that with our Heavenly Father? But I think I’ve made my point, so let us carry on. 

The next thing after prayer is to be walking with the Lord day and night. If we are on a voyage, don’t you take time to check your compass? When we walk with the Lord we need to be stopping often and making sure we are on the right track. Sometimes even when you walk with the Lord you may not be sure which way to go. In these instances, we arrive at the second part to the second part, we seek Godly counsel. While we don’t want too many counselors, we should have a few trusted advisers who are also walking with the Lord. It’s important that these people are true friends, and true men of God. Some friends will not tell you what you need to know, rather what you want to hear. This is not Godly counsel. I give you a prime example; Nathan in 2 Samuel 12 comes to David and gives a parable to the King. The King rightfully stands furious at the injustice displayed in the parable, and when asked who, Nathan in front of the entire Kings chamber, throws David under the bus. He called out the Kings sin in front of everyone. He did not tell the King what he wanted to hear, he told the King what he needed to hear, so the king could choose a better path. 

We must choose our friends wisely. We must be listening to the Holy Spirit, and allow it to guide us. We will often come to cross roads in our life, and the right path may not be lit up with bright neon signs. That doesn’t mean the Spirit isn’t working to tell us where to go. Furthermore, sometimes, when two paths are difficult ones, sometimes you need to take a leap of faith. Sometimes you need to make a choice that’s best for you, even if you don’t have all the details. Sometimes Gods in the details and we need to let God work out the path, and we just need to walk it. We won’t always have all the answers before we take our steps. 

Frodo Baggins did not know the full details of his path to Rivendale. Frodo left the Shire with only the goal, but not the map. Frodo once at Rivendale was met with another choice. His journey had already become perilous, but when met with another cross roads decision, decided to make an even greater leap of faith. He chose to bear the burden of the one ring and take the journey to Mordor to destroy the ring. He trusted his team, he trusted his advisors, and walked the path not knowing what to expect. He took a leap of faith, and so we must do also. The path we walk will not always be easy, but when we walk with the Lord that path is never easy. Walking with Christ takes courage, and patience. Walking with the Lord makes us a target for the enemy. We must face the danger on the road, and have discernment when it’s time to take the path to Moria, verses Minas Tirith. Not every path is free from danger, but some paths will have less danger than others. We must trust the Father, and be prepared always for the battles and choices to come. Danger comes in many shapes and forms. We must take time to know when it’s time to pull the sword and stand ground, when it’s time to hide and wait for the danger to pass, or when it’s time to run. Trust the Holy Spirit to speak to you. Walk with faith, and with confidence in Christ our King.