Behind The Eyes

Behind The Eyes

The eyes as they say are the windows to the soul. We tell others our favorite things are peoples eyes, the beauty in the differences, the unique, the colors, the softness, or hardness as they are shaped by the chapters we face and overcome albeit good or bad. Do we ever look deep enough to see the pain hidden deep down in someone’s soul? Do we ever learn to look beyond our own pain and suffering to see it in others? The cold suffering hidden behind the eyes, one of fear, one of hopelessness, do we see it and ignore it? Behind the eyes is the doorway to discover someone’s joy, someone’s fears, or the sorrow. I recently had someone tell me I looked so happy in a photo I took. I was surprised to say the least. I took the photo because that’s what I do, I send selfies to the people I’m talking to. It makes the conversation a little less faceless. In the photo however I felt horrible. I felt miserable, and I had to force the smile from the stiff upper lip I’ve been supporting for months. The pain didn’t show through, or did it, and the untrained eye didn’t see it in my eyes?

Matthew 6:22-23 “The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. 23 But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!” In my own photo I realized it was the untrained eye that didn’t see it, or didn’t want to see it. We move along in our lives and we have either gotten so good at hiding how we feel, the pain were going through, or we’ve gotten so skilled at only focusing on ourselves we just can’t get beyond our own self. God sees all the pain in the entire world. Imagine that for a moment that you can see, you can feel all the suffering of the world. If you had even a hint of empathy could you imagine your heart breaking?

We couldn’t imagine the burdens people are carrying. We can’t ever fathom the pain raging deep inside someone’s heart. The only truth is those burdens for many are nearly more then they can carry alone. When we truly learn to see those in danger should we not reach down and find the empathy that we has as a society lost, yes, yes we should. Jesus never turned someone away who was in need, no one who was suffering. He provided hope and love, and empathy for those in need. We need to learn to open our eyes and our hearts to see the world, to see that we can touch a single soul by our kindness and generosity of love.

Give Me Your Eyes, Brandon Heath

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see,
Everything that I keep missing,
Give your love for humanity.
Give me your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten.
Give me Your eyes so I can see.

Save My Life, Sidewalk Prophets

If you looked me right in the eye
Would see the pain deep inside
Would you take the time to

Tell me what I need to hear
Tell me that I’m not forgotten
Show me there’s a God
Who can be more than all I’ve ever wanted
‘Cause right now I need a little hope
I need to know that I’m not alone
Maybe God is calling you tonight
To tell me something
That might save my life

 We can never know how important we are to someone else. Every encounter even small can have a lasting impression. The song Save My Life by the Sidewalk Prophets touches on this. Would we take just a little longer to talk to someone at the store, or at our job, or even in our own church? If you knew that those fleeting moments could be the difference between life and death for someone, would that change your perspective? Just about everyone I think would say they would spend a little more time if they, or had they known. I’m a firm believer that suicide just doesn’t happen in a split second. The person in pain has been in pain for a while and perhaps had very few people to lean on or trust with their pain. Look deep inside someone and embrace every chance we get with people. You never know, you might just save a life and not even know it.

We all need Christ in our lives. We unfortunately don’t have Christ physically with us, but if we need hope, if we need the love we have something powerful, we have the Holy Spirit. Christ told the disciples to go forth and baptize all the nations. If we are walking in the shadow of Christ we have the power to make that change. We can save a life by just showing a little love. We can save a life by just extending a hand in friendship. If we spread the love of Christ to the world we can touch millions. If Christians actually wept for those in need, if Christians actually saw and felt for those in pain and tried to help heal the pain as Christ had, how many lives could we affect change to, the implications would be more then any of us could fathom. “I want a second glace, so give me a second chance, to see the way you see the people all alone.” We only get one chance sometimes to make a difference. If we look at every opportunity as a chance to change the world we can because we have the Holy Spirit with us. The world is in such chaos and turmoil we can bring a little hope back to it. God has blessed us with boundless love and hope. Why we don’t spread that love to others is beyond me. Is it uncomfortable sure, but Jesus was well versed in making people uncomfortable. Jesus led his people his friends, his disciples into Samaria and then once there sent them out on their own. God uses the weak and the broken as his warriors. They say that when you are hurting you can heal if you pour yourself into helping others who are hurting just like you. Everyone’s a sinner just like you and me, everyone’s going through something and God put you in their life for a reason. If we consider every life we encounter isn’t an accident, but by design, how we act towards them could be life altering. Open your heart to see the good you can do.

Lord give me the sight to see the pain behind others eyes.

Lord give me the strength to get beyond my own pain.

Lord give me what I need to touch the lives of those around me.

Lord give me the courage to step out of the boat and out of my comfort zone.

Lord give me the eyes to see. Give me the love you’ve held onto me.

 

Lian Yu (Purgatory)

Lian Yu (Purgatory)

Before Christ we were trapped by sins in an eternal death. The Roman Catholics believe Purgatory is a state in between death and heaven where you expiating sin prior to entering the gates of heaven. This is the atoning for sin meaning to pay for or redeem. While the idea of there being a purgatory is highly controversial we won’t be getting into that debate. I am by no means trained well enough to go down that rabbit hole and open that can of worms. Instead, the purgatory we will discuss is the one inside our own minds, and the situations we find ourselves in. If purgatory is a form of prison it can be postulated that your own mind can be a prison. We know this because we have thoughts we often don’t want to, we remember things that bring feelings of pain of hurt. We often find ourselves in situations that bare similarities to those that we’ve been through before, almost as if history itself is being repeated. For some, being trapped in the past is the worst kind of Hades we can have. For others they get themselves into situations that are trouble over and over again. While I don’t believe this is a form of punishment while on this earthly plane of existence, I do believe that if we are repeating the same mistakes and we aren’t learning from them, then perhaps God is trying to get us to pass the test to move on. Other times we go through the same thing over and over because of our own choices, even if they are destructive.

I myself have experienced purgatory. When I returned from Iraq I found myself constantly expecting the next IED to go off, constantly scanned every place I went for insurgents trying to blend in. Every shadow there was the enemy lurking just waiting to attack. Then the thoughts came back of the war. All things considered I’d say my platoon and I were lucky. Yes we took casualties, but as many times as we were attacked the damage was superficial and rarely caused any injury. Even though that was the case, the attacks and the feelings that were left behind, where in fact imprinted and left behind for later reflection. Over time it felt as if those memories would show up and torture me at random. It felt as if I were a prisoner to them, my own personal purgatory.

In the last few years I’ve known several people who’ve gotten themselves into ruts of destructive behavior. They would claw themselves out only to get to the top of the mud hill and as soon as they got out, stand up, stretch, turn and swan dive back into the thick of it. One would guess they loved being in that destructive cycle. The truth is it’s harder then people think to break free. Once we are mentally trained for something it’s very difficult to break that cycle. There are a lot of factors that can play into it, where you live, your friends, the music you choose to listen too, even some shows you may watch. (Disclaimer: No I’m not blaming movies, or music, or video games for bad behavior. However there is enough evidence that some, i.e. a small percentage of the population are susceptible to suggestion from these outlets.) The truth is our hearts can and will be influenced by the things we surround ourselves with. Eventually it’s like ingesting small amounts of lead over time. It may not kill us right away, but eventually we will end up with lead poisoning. It’s best to avoid that stuff when we can. Find positive and influential things to fill your life with, either, friends, movies, churches, music, whatever it may be, as long as it’s going to lift up, rather then manipulate behavior in a negative way. 1 Peter 4:15-16 “15 But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men’s matters. 16 Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf.”

So all that being said, how do we avoid entering into purgatory? Well, in a religious sense don’t be habitual sinners. If you are mean and cruel to people and bad things happen to you, chances are you brought that upon yourself. By changing our focus and changing our hearts and minds, giving up and sacrificing our worldly self to Christ, we can then move forward cleansed and free of old sins. Our daily walk should prevent us from entering into man made, self-made perpetual prisons. A purgatory for your mind is harder to achieve. Sometimes we have no control over the trauma’s we endure. I have always been a firm believe of a two pronged approach therapy. The first is for your mind, to actually work on the event that caused the issue. The second is for your heart, and that’s a spiritual journey by someone in the clergy. We can’t have one without the other because we must take care of both the heart and the mind. Both will influence the other, and both have to be in a healthy place and a healthy balance. Don’t allow yourself to be held prisoners by the horrors we may face. Find your spiritual footing and allow those people in ministry to help you. Do not create your own purgatory, instead allow yourself to freely walk away leaving everything behind that held you in chains. Repent for your sins and within that repentance remember it’s not just saying you’re sorry, it’s making an action to make up for the mistake. Mark 5:4 “because he had often been bound with shackles and chains, and the chains had been torn apart by him and the shackles broken in pieces, and no one was strong enough to subdue him.” Jesus freed us from the bonds of sin, and the eternal damnation that followed for it. It takes strength and dedication to overcome the chains of the world, the lustful desires that bind us to our prisons. Fight the sin urges, flee from sinful drama, and seek Godly counsel when in need. Always has if what you are doing glorifies God, and if you don’t think it will, or wouldn’t talk to your pastors or priest about what you are thinking of doing, it’s probably not a good idea to do it.

We can’t always help what happens to us, we can’t always help the scars it leaves behind, but how we choose to handle each of those situations, where we choose to get help for them will be the defining factor as to our eternal future. If life gets hard and you choose to turn to the bottle chances are that bottle will become your purgatory. If you choose to turn to the counsel of God, you’ll undoubtedly have better luck. Don’t create your own prisons, and don’t go searching for purgatory.

Making A Plan

Making A Plan

All my life I had a plan, I knew how the plan was going to go, I knew how my life was going to unfold, and I knew how to execute the plan. Well, a day before I graduated high school the plan fell apart. ‘The defense department regrets to inform you that you have be found ineligible for the selection into the United States Marine Corps. “ Well, there went my plan. I was so certain I would make it into the Armed Services I barely spent any time on my college testing, and I had only applied to two universities. Both of which I was accepted to, though, I hadn’t planned for how I was going to pay for college. So my plan flew off the rails before it even got going. After a year of moving around a bit, I got a job but wasn’t satisfied with life. I was terrified of college and failing so I ran away from that as fast as I could. It was just by pure coincidence (if there is such a thing) that I ran into an Air Force recruiter in the store. I had talked to him about my denial letter and re suggested I reapply. A few months later I moved back home to live with my Grandfather, and I talked to my local recruiter. Everything was looking good, the process was going along smoothly, and away to MEPS I went. Something was wrong though. I didn’t feel the choices in the Air Force fit my personality and my drive. When I got back from MEPS my recruiter wasn’t there at the recruiting station. I was really upset by that, and I stormed into the Army recruiting office and started talking to them. Within 10 minutes I was headed home with a list of Army jobs, and a slew of information. I had at least 13 jobs circled for further review within the 15-minute drive home. This looked promising I said to myself. I went to MEPS again for the final time before I would ship out, the rest of my testing was done; the job selection process came up. Cavalry Scout was the dream job. There was only 1 slot open so we had to write an essay between two of us candidates. Mine was chosen and I advanced to get a ship date, 6-month wait.

For the next 6 months I would train, and I would enjoy the time I had left with close friends. I would be headed to Fort Knox for one station unit training, and while I was there I would get my duty station. I had signed up for a 1-year hardship in Korea. I figured, if I was going to go to war at least I could have some training in the Army first. During basic I was doing well, I was getting faster, stronger, and testing well. I was moving along to graduate then all of a sudden I ended up with MERSA and I was hospitalized for 4 days. I missed out on vital training, so instead of graduating with my class, I would be recycled through to the next class to graduate. This hit me like a ton of bricks. The plan wasn’t cooperating. I would graduate 6 weeks later then planned. I went to Korea and placed in my unit up at Camp Casey. 1 year in Korea wasn’t going to be so bad. I had a plan, and if I liked it I might even stay one more year after that. Except the plan wasn’t going to cooperate again. We as a unit were being removed from Korea, sent to Iraq and our new home location would be determined while we were in theater. I choose Korea because hardship duty stations didn’t deploy to other combat zones, or they hadn’t in almost 50 years. All that time and effort I spent getting away from the war for a little while just vanished in front of me.

While in country I would get hurt (non combat related) I would loose friends (combat related) and I would endure hardships. I would get home and try my best to keep making plans. Relationships wouldn’t go to plan, I would end up having surgery on my knee, I would get married, then get out of the military ahead of schedule. I moved, and then moved to Europe as a civilian military spouse. I would loose that marriage to an affair. I met a wonderful woman, eventually would marry her and then in time watch as my life was torn apart by yet another grisly affair.

So, that’s pretty much the last 15 years. I look back and I snicker at how well my best laid plans would work. I heard a quote just a couple weeks ago Make the plan, Execute the plan, Expect the plan to go off the rails, Throw away the plan.” (The Flash) That statement couldn’t be truer. What does God think of our plans? Well, funny you should ask, Proverbs 15:22 “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” As we all know, even as much as we may want something, that doesn’t mean that’s what God has planned for us. Amos 3:7 “For the Lord God does nothing without revealing his secret to his servants the prophets.” Since we haven’t seen any prophets in a long time, it’s safe to say we often fly blind. Another saying to laugh about is “Tell God your plans and watch Him laugh.”

Living by following the cross, and doing our very best to listen to what God has planned for us is the closest we have to knowing plans will even partially work. When God closes a door we have a hard time understanding why, we have a hard time accepting no as an answer. For some it’s not a no, it’s just a not yet, but for others, their fate is down a different rabbit hole. We all know that the best-laid plan is to follow Christ. Read the scripture and the lessons left for us to follow and you can’t go wrong. Not all our plans are meant to work, some are because of our own doing, and some will fail because of others. The path your on doesn’t actually end, it just splits. It’s up to all of us to choose the path we feel lines closest to what God wants for us. James 4:13-17 “Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”

I’ll leave you with this story as a close. August 2012, just three months before I was scheduled to be married I was out with my girlfriend and her father. She had just got a new Smith & Wesson Bodyguard semi automatic pistol. It’s a little .380 about the size of my hand. We’d been out shooting for a little while and I opted to shoot last. I was testing out the built in laser and I went to a knee to see how accurate it was. I held the gun steady and I squeezed the trigger. It jumped like no tomorrow as I felt a huge wave of air on my face. It felt like a book had been waved in front of my face, then hit me. I went to stand up, but I couldn’t see completely. My face was red hot, and I could feel the warm hot liquid poor from my face. I could feel it on my hand when I touched my face, and it was at that moment I realized I was in need of help. I turned around and dropped to a knee. We would later find the bullet casing had exploded in the chamber. It buckled the guns plastic, and peppered my eye protection with bits of shrapnel. Sadly my glasses didn’t protect my entire face and my cheek, nose, and forehead weren’t so lucky. My vision was saved due to the glasses, but to this day a piece of shrapnel still remains in my right cheek as the surgeon was unable to remove the tiny fragment in fear of doing more harm then good. Every day we went shooting we always planned and executed safety as best we could. On this particular day it happened to be, I was doing what I was supposed to, I wore what I was supposed to, but I was still injured. Thankfully the shrapnel wasn’t lower and it didn’t go through the artery in my neck. Even the best laid, most carefully thought out plans can quickly go to all Hades. Just remember that sometimes, when our plans go off the rails THAT may be part of the bigger plan after all.

Finding Happiness

Finding Happiness

This seems to be a pursuit that most people are on for the vast majority of their lives. It’s strange how hard it is. We often look for happiness in items, in trinkets or people. I have always struggled with this aspect of my life. Even when I have everything I could ever need, I am always looking towards the horizon. I guess a part of me always felt to be happy meant to be improving my situation, making more friends, finding more people to talk to, always building my marriage. I guess I could have been considered to be Debby Downer for at least a good portion of the time. What is it I was seeking I wonder, what was it that kept me looking for more? The truth is there was something missing in my life, Jesus. When I realized I hadn’t given myself up to the Lord, not completely, by the time I did it was too late, my life, as I had known it was over. I put so much into my worldly possessions, my wife, my home, my job, and my friends, that in one big event, my very foundation cracked and toppled my own personal city. The changes in my life would be abrupt and violent. They would reshape my personal universe and it would never be the same again.

What’s the trick though to finding that happy place? In Peter Pan it’s finding a happy memory, one memory that stands out of pure joy to hold on to. Even in the midst of so much pain and anguish we are surely able to come up with something. One thing I’ve found is we place so much on the world, that we forget this isn’t the end. Sure we don’t want to be miserable day in and day out either, but it’s more about the mission, the journey, the race, then it is about today. When we change our mindset to the present, the mission Jesus gave to us, and we take heed to the lessons Christ taught us and the teaching of the disciples, we will find that happiness is rejoicing in the Lord and the Lord alone. There will be trouble but in that trouble we can use those times to show the kind of person we are. We can make those horrible situations into a teaching lesson for others, and show how God wants us to behave even when the odds are stacked against us, even when their looks to be no worldly hope, because to say there’s no hope is a lie. There were many times when King David had the odds stacked against him, but it was through the grace of God that he emerged victorious. Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” It’s not an easy thing to be content when you’re in suffering. It’s harder to find happiness in the midst of want and destruction. Philippians 4:11 “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” Human nature is to want and want more, want what we can’t have, and often take what we want even if it’s not ours to have.

2 Timothy 3:1-7 “3 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.” When we go through life taking what we want no matter the consequences we find ourselves destroying the very fabric of order in the world. I was recently the victim of something like this. With no limit to the amount of pain one feels when something near and dear to them is taken away, alas the pain is more when it’s done so by more then one party. The sad truth is greed and desires of the worldly flesh now resonate with the world. Paul Harvey did a report on ‘If I was the Devil.” During this little expo he noted that if he was the Devil he’d convince the world that drugs are okay, that swinging is more fun, that hard work is no longer the wave of the future.

I think the pursuit of happiness falls within each moment. I believe that to truly find it you need to learn to change your mindset away from the pain and suffering and embrace them. How we embrace our pain is hard. How we find contentment even in the center of the worst storms we may face is never an easy task. For every situation however there must be at least something that is positive, there must be at least some light at the end of the tunnel. We often spend so much time focused on the negative part of a tough spot that we fail to look at the positive situations and be thankful for them. For me this has been a long hard struggle and I am by no means perfect at this, but everyday I try to work towards this goal. Am I happy every day and do I find joy in my sufferings, of course not. But what I do find is a little bit of peace knowing that God is in control over everything I am going through, and when others hurt me, or forsake me, I know that God has not. People will say and do mean things to you for a variety of reasons, each more plausible as the next. As much as it hurts that trust and loyalty may be broken, know that through this situation you will learn, you will grow, and you can make your tomorrow a better place. When a forest grows to big purging fires must take place in order for the forest to grow back and regain some of what was lost. Our lives it seems are much in the same. Sometimes we must let go of the baggage that weighs us down. We must learn to let go of people who are always bringing us down. Now, I will say this, when I say bringing us down, I don’t mean people who are going through rough times. What I mean by that is when people actively say things to you to bring you down, or are negative and hurtful. If someone is not actively trying to be there for you, to lift you up, to help you get out of the hole you’re in, those are the people you don’t need around anymore.

Don’t fall victim to your own pain, don’t let your pain or your own struggles from finding the happy places in your life. When we truly embrace and accept that bad things will happen, and truly embrace the fact that God is sovereign we can let go of many of the pessimistic views we once held. We all loose friends, we all loose our jobs, our families, our loved ones; it’s a matter of life following its natural evolution. Be glad for the positive things you can take out of your memories, and cast away the sorrows. Don’t let life pass you by in misery; it’s too short to do so. Don’t be a slave to this world. Don’t let the world dictate who you are. The world cannot define you, only you can do that. You have the power to show the people around you how you handle each situation, and in every case you are the only one who can show who you are. As one of my favorite quotes go, “It’s not who I am underneath, it’s what I do that defines me.” (Batman Begins)

 

When The Sun Sets, Resetting for Tomorrow

When The Sun Sets, Resetting for Tomorrow

Have you ever sat and watched a sunset? How does the sun setting make you feel? I have always loved it because of the colors it creates on the clouds, watching it change almost every minute. The sight of the stars coming out, the moon shining, the vastness of the night sky reminds me of how vast God is, and how small we really are. When I say small I don’t mean insignificant. I have come to realize that every life is extremely valuable and significant. There is so much to be thankful for by the end of every day. Even when we’ve had a horrible day the blessings that continue to flow through our path is immeasurable.

I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying ‘never go to bed angry.’ That’s great advice. Usually when we go to bed angry we sleep horribly. There is merit to the thought process of not doing this. There are a few things to keep in mind. First, what is there to be gained by continuing the fight with whoever you’re arguing with? Second, is the argument something you’d argue with yourself? Lets start with the 2nd one. If you are with someone and you argue, and yell and scream you’re really only hurting yourself. The Devil wants to create a wedge in your happiness and when you cannot have a reasonable conversation anymore you’ve gotten to the point where you are not just hurting yourself, but your significant other, and God. When you marry you become one flesh. You must remember how important it is to be that united body under God. Now onto the 1st point, negotiation is a lost art it seems. Why do we not learn to negotiate and compromise earlier in a fight? Why do we not find a way to prevent the argument from occurring in the first place? People will always disagree that’s the nature of individuality and opinions, but that doesn’t mean arguments can’t be avoided. We need to remember that God brings us together to better ourselves.

What about when we are having a bad day, a string of bad luck, we feel like we can’t just catch a break? Life isn’t a video game, there’s not reset button, there’s no saving and picking it up later, but what we do have is sleep, rest, and a new day. What a crazy idea it would be if we could actually let go of our troubles, and start the next day with a fresh perspective, a fresh start, and actually allowing yourself to actually hit the reset button. Really, it’s not so far fetched. If we learn to pray and meditate every night before bed when we pray for peace, pray for wisdom, and pray for the answers to whatever situation you find yourself in. No matter the situation we can use a few simple tools on our tool belt. First, allow yourself to decide what mindset you’re in. Are you in wise mind, or emotion mind? We can often find ourselves in a predicament where we are stuck. We’ve lost the ability to rationalize and be more self aware of the feelings and emotions that are activated in our times of stress. Learning to radically accept, changing your mindset, negotiating, compromising, and in general learn how to be reasonable without passing harmful judgments, time and again making things worse.

The new day gives us a ability to attack a problem differently. The new day gives us a fresh start and when we trust in the Lord to take away or lighten our load nothing is too difficult for our God. 2 Corinthians 4:16 “For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward [man] is renewed day by day.” We pray to God every night for renewed spirit and we shall have it. Luke 1:77-80 “77 To give knowledge of salvation unto his people by the remission of their sins, 78 Through the tender mercy of our God; whereby the dayspring from on high hath visited us, 79 To give light to them that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.” We must understand that every day we pray and we as for the Spirit to bless us, its just a matter of letting yourself have faith that God is in control. You may wake up in the morning and find yourself continuing to deal with the same situation you were when you went to bed. If the problem still persists try to change your perspective. Try to find the lesson you are to learn. Try to solve the problem using scripture, finding the solution God would be most pleased with. Allow your soul to catch fire with Christ. Allow yourself to embrace your cross with zeal. With every sun rise is a new page, a new chapter and since we never know what our future holds, why not try to embrace the sunrise and see where the wind takes you.

No matter the situation, the hardships, the horrors you may be facing in your life, there’s always hope. Proverbs 24:14 “Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, there will be a future, and your hope will not be cut off.” This sentiment is echoed again in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. “ We may have troubles, but if Christ suffered during the crucifixion a little suffering on our own is nothing. 1 Corinthians 15:19 “If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied.” As Christians we know we will endure persecution and hardships. We know because we’re told we would time and time again throughout the New Testament. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18  “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” This is not an easy thing to do, and it will take time to learn. Because Christ lives we know that we can overcome the toils of the world and reach for the sky every day. We can face tomorrow with fresh tenacity because our God says Christ died so we could live. With each new sunrise we have a fresh start to reach others, minister the word, preach the Gospel, and make the world a better place. Proverbs 27:1 “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.” When we take each day by it’s appropriate action we find that we put to much stock in our own plans. We try to plan every detail of our lives and how rarely are we correct. James 4:14 “Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.”

In closing let the night wash away the mistakes of the day. Let the sleep and rest you find renew your spirit for the Lord. As the sun rises the next morning and wipes away the stars, so shall it wipe away your tears and worries. Have faith in the dawn, and have faith that in and through God all things remain possible.

 

 

Private Property

Private Property

Alone in the house I sit, the walls around and the roof above provide protection from the wolves at night, the predators that prowl searching for the weak. When we want to be left alone on our property we post Do Not Disturb signs. These signs let everyone know that their presence is not welcomed, not to enter without explicit permissions. That’s the unfortunate essence of our lives. Our creator gives us the choice of free will, so this summarily makes us sentient. With that free will comes the right to choose whether or not we will accept or deny the existence of God.

In Scripture it is written that those who follow in Christ will be saved, and those who do not will spend eternity suffering. It’s not easy for some to acknowledge there is something greater out there then they can see with their own eyes. For some the truth is reading between the lines. Reading and studying what exists but in the past. God never forces His way into our hearts. It must be a free voluntary choice to allow God into our lives. There is one however that ignores the stay out signs. The Devil a burglar that creeps around the shadows, pulling at strings, testing the defenses of the house, looking anyway in. Our heart is what the Devil wants. Our minds and our souls are what the Devil tries to gain access too. The Devil doesn’t look for our permission to wreak havoc in our lives. Why do we spend so much time and energy placing defenses for our homes, but we don’t do the same for our eternal souls? 1 John 3:8 “8 The one who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work.” The Devil destroyed the relationship between God and his children. The Serpent divided the home and got Eve to disobey the Father. 2 Corinthians 11:3 3 But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.” The Devil trespasses as often as he likes with no care for your own personal feelings.

 Vigilance is so important. We keep our homes locked at night, our vehicles locked in public. We do not leave our belongings lying around for anyone to take, so why then are we so careless with the only thing that truly matters, our eternal salvation? The most dangerous intruder we could ever come across and we almost give Him the keys to our home to come and go whenever he wants. 1 Peter 5:8-9 8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.” The Devil will find any unlocked window, any loose bored, any unlocked door, anyway he can to break into your heart. It doesn’t matter if you have your private property sign out there it’s not enough. You have to find the protections and shields for your heart.

 We often fall pray to the worldly desires of our hearts thus giving in to a sin nature. What defenses do we have against the Devil? We have the Armor of God. We have the teaching and warnings of Christ. We were given the instructions and told to resist. We do this by knowing scripture, knowing it well enough to have it memorized to heart. Being able to see sin in our lives is an important first step. Remember how to treat others, knowing the right and wrong in our walk is vital to fighting sin nature. Others may harm us, others may steal from us, and the Devil will use our desires against us, it’s important to see what’s in front of us, and don’t take the bait.

 

 

Please Don’t Judge Me For My Yesterday, Judge Me For My Today

Please Don’t Judge Me For My Yesterday, Judge Me For My Today

Matthew 7:1-2 “Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.” We make judgments all the time about people if we mean to or not. There are lots of different types of judgments we may encounter every day. We use judgments because they are shortcuts in life. She’s crazy is a judgment. That’s an awesome job is also a judgment. One of the things we often do is hold onto judgments of people. We condemn them to be whatever we judge them as forever.

Why are we creatures of such negativity? We are negative because it’s the opposite of love. We choose to see the negative because it’s easier. You’re driving home from work and the trip goes great, couple people let you in, and not an issue. Same scenario but instead 3 people cut you off and make you slam the breaks. How long will you be bothered by the second version, best guess is at least a while. If someone makes a mistake they are more likely to have that check against them and it would be more prevalent then if that person has a line fun of positive things. Sadly for many it seems, we are doomed to never escape our mistakes or shortcomings.

In my life I’ve made some huge mistakes, and it seems the memories of people is considerably longer then I remember it being. No matter how far we’ve come since then someone will always hold that mistake against you. No matter how much good you do, or how much positivity in your life, someone will always remember that 1 bad time, especially if it’s a big one. God wants us to forgive and move on. God doesn’t want us to judge one another. Luke 6:37 “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:” When we hold someone accountable for a mistake in our personal lives, and no matter what they do they can’t get out from under it, you are not truly forgiving them.

Sadly people won’t let go of the past. People won’t biblically forgive you. This message isn’t really for those who have lived a perfect life, it’s for the ones who’ve made mistakes, the ones who’ve sinned and pray every day for forgiveness of it. The Devil wants us to fracture our relationship with God. Sometimes the Devil will try to attack us directly by pulling on our sinful desires, but when they fail the Devil tries the only other trick there is, attack us through our loved ones. Life gets tough sometimes and when it does that’s when we need the Armor of God more so then ever. I was told something for a long time. “Life’s tough, get a helmet.” That’s the truth and when we think of our helmet we know there is such a helmet we can don. Ephesians 6:17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:” We cannot let the Devil inside our heads. We cannot fall pray to self pity, doubts, self loathing, self esteem problems, all of these things are the Devil manipulating you. Protect that brain bucket, by protecting it from all the incoming shrapnel the Devils tossing at as. The Devil will turn your friends on you, you will loose people you care about, you will be lied to, you will be forever reminded of the mistake you try so hard to forget. You continue to wear that armor and never let the Devil inside your head.

Don’t listen to the lies of the Devil. Don’t let anyone hold you back from being on the right path with Christ. When we repent of our mistakes we are forgiven and it’s in the past. 1 Corinthians 13:5 “Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;” Thinketh no evil to me means two things. 1st is it doesn’t keep score of the wrong your partner has done. 2nd is it doesn’t plot of doing wrongful things, i.e. adaultry for the one you love. Don’t let someone else keeping score bring you down. You will suffer long as a Christian, you will suffer for doing the right thing. If our Lord and Savior suffered at the hands of the cross, what little suffering we go through seems insignificant to that of an innocent lamb who was sacrificed for me.

It’s hard to be kicked when you’re down. When you loose something you cherished, and then over time you loose one friend after another, just remember the suffering of Job. At the end even his friends rebuked him blaming him for his own crucible. Remember it’s easier to recount the bad then the good. Have faith in the Word of God and when you are suffering, when you feel like all your friends are turning their backs on you, know that God won’t.

A prayer to my Lord.

Lord, please forgive me for my transgressions. Please release me of my guilt and allow me to fully repent for my wrongdoing. Lord please bless me with friends who will understand and who will stand by me, but if they don’t, pray for them. Know they no not what they do. Lord you are the only one who can Judge me. Lord please shield me from the Devils tricks and lies. Lord please bless those who come to my aid when I am that stranger on the road. Lord please allow my armor to protect me in all ways from the attacks of the Deceiver. Lord bless my loved ones, my friends, my neighbors. Lord grant me peace in my time, grant me a time of bliss when it suits your time. Lord give me the grace of understanding and patience to your masterpiece of a plan which is my life. Lord please allow my transgressions to be within short term memory of those who would use it against me. Let me therefore be judged in the actions I do today, and not those of the past. Allow people to see the man I am now, and not which I was before. Amen

 

 

 

We’ll Cross That Bridge When We Get There 

We’ll cross that bridge when we get there
You get to a bridge covered in fog. You can’t see the other side and you question to cross or not. You turn back and look at where you came from. The knots inside your stomach, the pounding in your chest, do you cross or go back to where you know? Where you came from is familiar, loyalty, family both blood and and Christ. Across the bridge is the unknown. There might be endless opportunities through the fog. There’s at least one friend somewhere over yonder deep in the dark abyss of the unknown.
Fear can be a powerful motivator, for many that fear response is what can keep us alive. For some however it can be debilitating. Do not let fear control you. Let fear tell you when you’re in try danger, but never hold back from Gods path because you’re afraid. No matter what lies and the devil will tell you, the leap of faith, knowing God will catch you, knowing if it’s the right path God will not lead you astray.
We always want to plan. We always want to know all the details. The problem with that is the idiom ‘the devils in the details’. If we have faith in God we don’t have to have every minute detail hashed out. If you are following Gods path and plan, God will move many of the obstacles out of your way. The key to that is wait until you get to the bridge. How often do we plan every detail and we haven’t reached the bridge to cross yet? No matter the situation you find yourself in know that when you are following the word, behaving as God commands of His children, bad things will still happen, but you will continue to be blessed along the way.
Don’t let the bridge be a way to escape. You cannot run from your problems. Face your trials like an adult, face them with grace and distinction. I promise you whatever waits for you through the fog on the other side will be just as bad or worse. Having to retake the test is never pleasant. Have the fortitude to bow graciously in your mistakes, do not be prideful in your successes, and always journey with Love in you and as a companion. Behave as if Christ is always next to you. Think about Christ standing next to you at the base of that Bridge. Pray the fog be lifted to see clearly what’s on the other side. Pray for guidance. Pray for comfort and peace. With Christ by your side, reflect on how you would behave if He was with you at work, in the car next to you, in the room during an argument. Let Christ be with you always in your walk. Psalm 32:8 “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.” We cannot allow ourselves to focus on everything around us. We must learn to focus on the present and be there not the past, not the future. Proverbs 4:25 “Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.”

We may not know the future or our paths to take, but silence your mind, silence the world. Pray for guidance and wisdom. Pray to let go of selfish wants and pray for clarity of the journey that it would be pleasing to God. Finding yourself in the fog at the foot of that bridge, step out into faith and trust that your path will be cleared if it is your way. Though, do not confuse lessons to be learned with roadblocks. Turn to God and let go of fear. Look to God who will guide you like that lighthouse bringing you to safety. Each step you take is one step closer to God. Have faith.

Impromptu Revelations

Impromptu Revelations

As I was reading another blog post I found myself searching inside myself for the question she asked in her blog. As I began to reply to her post, I found myself coming to a few realizations I hadn’t put into words. As my life has been one battle after another since my tragic day in September, I have found I am both stronger, and more stable then I ever have been. It’s strange how that one day has changed my life so much. I don’t know what would have happened if that day had never happened, but I know for sure that the storm clouds were still billowing off the horizon. The time for preparation had passed. The truth was coming whether I wanted to hear it or not. My life was never going to be the same. This particular course made a lifetime of tragedy become a reality. Countless years of running, of hiding from the pain would no longer stay buried. The truth could no longer be tucked away and pretend as if it didn’t exist. Yes that day hurt many, that day perhaps destroyed relationships that maybe, could have been saved in time. Regardless of the past, the present is here and the truth is now that Jesus’s love saved me. My path is always fluid, always changing, but my faith in God is resolute. My faith in God is no longer based on the good things in life, the blessings I had been given. Once upon a time I believed that my Ex Wife was my blessing, a gift given to me by God because of years of suffering and keeping my faith. When that relationship was leaving I begged God to tell me what I had done wrong. I begged God why I was being punished. The revelation came when I realized it wasn’t God doing these things. It was free will, it was human sin that would cause the biggest change in my life. Now today I am on a new path, a new road and though I don’t know where I’m going, I know that by the night’s sky and God’s Devine intervention, I will reach my place.

Ever since my recovery last September I have been listening to KLove every day. As time moved on I was drawn to a particular song. As time moved on another song would take its place, then another, then another. It seemed as if I was being told something by God Himself. The first song Eye of the Storm by Ryan Stevenson. This reminded me that as dark as the sky gets and we feel like tomorrows sun will never shine, God is the anchor and will keep up safe in any storm. No matter if our friends and family have sold us out or forsaken us, God will never do that. The Next song that came up was One Step Away by Casting Crowns. As I entered the phase of wanting to go back to take it away, remove it from history and as I realized I would never be able to do that, God’s love was always there. It never mattered how far I went, as long as I was still breathing, I could change my course. My Ghost could be left in the past. One step from surrender, one step from Arms wide open. After that came What if I Gave Everything also by Casting Crowns. I realized my whole life I’d been running from my calling. All my life I felt like I wasn’t living up to my own potential. Why was I still standing there, why was I holding back from God. I then realized in order for me to finally find my own happiness I was going to have to let go. I was going to have to uproot my feet from the deep mud, and in my faith, step out onto that ledge, move that mountain, and venture away from my own comfort zone and trust, finally with all my heart, with all my soul, trust. The final song in my journey was Voice of Truth again by Casting Crowns. I had been told so many lies my whole life. I was told I wasn’t attractive enough, not strong enough, not fast enough. I was told I wouldn’t survive basic training. I was told I would never amount to anything. I believed them. I fought through basic and proved them wrong. This was one victory out of many I would let the lies fuel. The Voice of Truth would eventually tell me I was good enough, I would be fast enough when I needed to be. The Voice of Truth would tell me someone out there will love me for me. I will be good enough for the right person. The Devil’s lies had gotten ahold of me, and only when the time was right, I would be able to fight back. When i finally understood, finally let go of my own fears and I choose to listen to that voice in my head, the voice in my heart, the voice in my soul. In one foul swoop the Devil grabbed a hold of me and I nearly lost my life. I nearly fell into the Web Satan sets for us, and I nearly lost my life to that wretched spider. Instead I found Gods love, I found Gods grace as I was saved from the brink of death. I believe in the Son, the Holy Spirit, I believe I overcome by the power of his blood I was saved. I’m alive because He Lives. (Because He Lives, By Matt Maher). It took my whole life to find my place under Gods wing, and now I look for my place in this world. I have accepted my roll as a warrior for Christ, now I must seek my physical place. I have faith that God will provide the path when the time is right. I believe God’s grace will not leave me now. I believe in the power of prayer, and the power of Godly counsel.

Way Down in The Valley

Way Down in The Valley

Way down in the valley I heard a mighty rawr, that rawr I hear is the lion, the lion of lions, the king of kings. I’ve been in the valley several times. I’ve been down where evil lays, the valley of death, the valley of darkness. We never know when we may slip into that valley, but when we do, finding our way out, who do we call?

When the darkness of death surrounds us, when we are at the height of despair who do we turn to? No matter how deep in the trenches you’re in, there’s always a path back to safety. When we’re in trouble we call 911. We rely on our emergency responders from the dispatchers that take the call to the paramedics and first responders, the law enforcement, and fire fighters that risk their safety to ensure our own. The emergency responders are rarely respected as they should be, and often go without the thanks they deserve. Our military run head long into danger and face the evils of this world, and do so, so our families can sleep safely at night. Psalm 23:4 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”

We all know the Psalm, we have all heard it time and again. I’ve seen war, and I’ve seen death. I myself have faced the valley and traveled down its treacherous slopes many times. I’ve heard the sound of the trumpets of war as the end was near. The protection of the Angels wings would shield me and protect me in the midsts of danger. The fact that war is dangerous, the valley of death is not only dangerous by traditional means, there are many traps and pitfalls that await us. The part of Psalm 23’s  verse that is sadly not heard often of is Psalm 23:1-3 “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.” It isn’t just about the Valley we fight in, it’s about the peace of mind that God is with us even in the midst of battle.

Revelations 21:4 “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” The followers of Christ will have sanctuary in Heaven. If you are not, the future doesn’t look so bright. Revelation 21:8 “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

No matter the fear, or the sorrow we face, know that God is always with us. Our choices may be difficult, and we may not always know the direction to take, but it is in these moments we must seek Godly counsel and find our path. Every time I was close to death, or I found myself under attack, I knew that God was with me. I could feel God’s presence, and I knew that I had the protection of the Angels around me. In those moments of terror, it is then you know how far your faith will take you. It is then my belief would become unwavering. As I found myself feeling eerily calm, and the fear was near non-existent, the only thing I could think of was God protecting me. When danger is staring us in the face, stair back with conviction knowing that God is with you, always.