But Did You Die

But Did You Die

A lot of people avoid church on the premise of ‘if they knew what I’ve done they wouldn’t let me in’. I’ve heard all kinds of excuses as to why people don’t go to church. Too busy, my only day off, no ride, to I need to get right before I go. None of which are valid excuses. Church is an hour out of the day. And you don’t get well before seeing the doctor. You go to church to get well. You go to church to have your spirit fed with the Holy Spirit. But then, there’s the flip side of the coin, and this part, this part will raise some eye brows. People who use the excuse of what they’ve been through, the struggles or the hardships, and hold on to them. How do I know? I was one of those people.

I’ve been through so much in my life, and I held onto those things with a death grip. I’m not saying letting go is easy, and I’m not saying those things don’t deserve attention. What I am saying is no matter how bad it was, “But did you die?” Since the answer to that is no, whatever it’s was is in the past. As Rafiki said “The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.” Simba experiences something awful in his life. He ran from it, and all his responsibilities. I’m dealing with our own traumas, are we running from our pain or are we embracing it, letting it fuel us, and moving forward with the important life lessons? Life can hurt, but running from those emotions can hurt even more. We as humans hold onto the past. We hold on to the regrets, the hurt, the doubts, and failures. During a movie called ‘The Hangover’ chow essentially is telling the group of guys, no matter how bad it was even one of them being shot ‘but did you die?’ No matter how bad we think life is, we still have breath, and as God has shown time and time again, He WILL see you through it. You can’t run from your emotions. You can’t ignore them. I made that mistake during a large part of my life, and the consequences of running where dire. During the post https://thearrowpreacher.wordpress.com/2018/04/29/run-barry-run/ I quoted Leonard Snart “You can’t outrun grief” and “If you don’t confront your feelings, your feelings will confront you.”(Leonard Snart).

We want to live a life free of pain and suffering but that’s not realistic. Those things will come, and since we know they will, we can prepare for them, and when they do, instead of holding on to them, confront them, and then take only what you need, and leave the rest at the foot of the cross. I’m by no means saying this is easy, and from my own personal experience, I know this can be difficult. What I also know from first hand experience is, holding onto those things of the past can spread like a cancer. So, once again, to those who use the past as a shield, “but did you die?” We live and living means another day to fight the good fight. We think we have struggles and we do, but scripture is full of those who struggled before us. Job, Isaiah, Daniel, David, Paul, and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who was tortured and hung on a cross as an innocent man. Our worst days, may equal that if Paul, or Daniel, (albeit I don’t think anyone’s been thrown into a lions den), or Job, but scripture is always clear, when we walk in Christ he will replace what we loose and even better than what was lost. (Even if that means eternal life in Heaven). This life is fleeting. We come from dust, and we shall return to dust. Our spirit will ascend to Heaven when we accept Christ. Gods grace is sufficient.

Let God be your guide and your healer. Push forward beyond the hardships and don’t let those things keep you from achieving the plan God has for you. As Gimley says “there’s one dwarf yet in Moria that still draws breath” (LOTR). Are we full of that kind of spirit for life? Are we full of that kind of strength with Christ with us to face the next day no matter what comes? We should be, because unless we die, we still draw strength from the Spirit of Christ, and Death is just the beginning. Don’t let the past spread in your life like a cancer. Let it go, and let God rule, not the past.

The Beautiful Cracks

The Beautiful Cracks

The fall from the pedestal was long and bloody. The breaking of bone, the shedding of blood, the fall from grace. Not only the bloody and broken of flesh, but the breakdown of the spirit. The pride that once stood firm was broken and left shattered on the blood stained floor. The cracks were no longer hidden, but visible for all the world to see.

The sin that filled my life was kept neatly tucked away in the darkness. A hypocrite, perhaps, a sinner, absolutely. What I didn’t know back then was I didn’t really understand Jesus. I had a head knowledge, but the greatest gap to heaven is sometimes 12 inches. I didn’t understand because of ignorance, the breakdown that was coming was not only needed, but vital to my survival. The armor around my heart was able to separate the world and what I hadn’t figured out yet, was the separation from the world meant separation from my salvation also.

Laying in a hospital bed broken, and alone, I was forced to realize just how broken I was, even if I couldn’t see it. That healing was needed, but in order to heal, one must first understand the nature of their illness. My illness was simply put, sin. While many may scoff at that, the idea of sin is and has been given a reputation of control, or worse an excuse for and behavior. The truth of sin, is anything that separates self from the Father. Anything that comes between you and the Lord is sin. Living outside of Gods commandments is sin. Not all sins overtly hurt others, but all sins hurt others. My sins where wide open for the world to see, no longer hiding in the dark.

The broken you see allows the light of Jesus to shine in. Letting Jesus in to your heart is the breaking of the worlds hold on you. The light of Christ shines through the cracks and breaks, and once broken, the healing begins. We all have a disease, a terminal illness, whether we see it, or feel it, just like the matrix, it’s there. I felt early on something was wrong with the world, and I knew something needed to fix it. As I got older I found the answer was Christ, but I didn’t realize how one tiny little toe in the waters of the world would cause so much trouble later. Sin is everywhere in this fallen world. You can see it on the TV, at work, on the street, at the grocery store, even inside the walls of the church.

I am by no means a perfect man. My mistakes and my sins amount to a death sentence, but luckily, that’s not my fate. Jesus paid the price for me. Jesus blood ransomed the verdict of my execution. It takes time to be remade. The cracks were only the beginning. Once the cracks aloud the light in and the fracture was complete, the accepting of Jesus isn’t the end, but merely the beginning, the start of a new chapter. My brokenness aloud me to see my need for knowledge, a truth, the truth that there is only one way, Jesus, to the father. Learning about the Bible, and not just the words on some pages, but deeper than that. I needed to know how to trust scripture. I needed to know and dissect the words if I were to let that ‘doctor’ heal my heart. After I accepted Christ, I wouldn’t call it doubt, but that’s when I started to examine who Christ was. After I knew Jesus was truth, I wanted to trust but verify. My true study began. I began to study scripture more deeply, and I began finding others who had done what I was seeking to do.

The struggles came quickly after true conversion. Those 12 inches created a gap between myself and so many people I had once considered as friends. Then, the exodus happened. From a large amount of people leaving the friendship with me, to others attacking Christianity, I felt alone and hurt. I wanted to explain to people who Christ was and why Christ was the way. I found a man, J. Werner Wallace, author of ‘Cold Case Christianity’. A once professed Atheist, turned Christian apologetics author. From there I found Lee Strobel, author of ‘A Case for Christ.’ The cracks in my heart we’re healing, and I was beginning to truly trust the path I was on. I started to learn not to rely on the world for validation, but merely Christ’s.

I learned that it was going to take time for the healing to take place, that it wasn’t an automatic thing. Accepting Christ as healer would open my heart to his healing words. It would take time to make my faith strong, and it would take time for the wounds of old to heal. As for my sin, sin still creeps around, but the difference is now, there’s a conviction of the heart when sin takes place.

Accepting Crist is to die of your old self, and become a new creation. That new creation is based on a journey of a thousand steps, not a sprint to end a race. Accepting Christ is the start of your relationship with the Father and as such, you and as I was when I stated was a baby in faith. While I knew Christ in many ways my whole life, we all have our own journey to walk. My journey is far from over (Lord willing) but I hope that Christ finds favor in my heart, and that as I continue to grow in Christ my sins become less, and my works are more approving. Not that we are saved by works, because we absolutely are not, but faith begets works for the Glory of the Father.

I had to be broken for the Lord to truly grab a hold of my heart, and as I’ve spent years healing, I am still wounded by those who reject the cross and all it stands for. The heartbreak I feel as people I care for reject everything it is to be Christian, is very real. I know Jesus is Lord and Savior, and I am but a servant in his home. I am not worthy to unstrap His sandal, yet at the same time I know I am adopted into royalty. Because of my cracks I know who I am. Because of those beautiful broken pieces deep inside me, I know the light of Jesus. While I do not embrace the brokenness of my heart, I allow those to heal, it is the idea of God loving and using broken things I embrace. I am a work in progress, and I trust that the last will be first, and even though I am small before the Lord, I have a large roll to play. No one person is more important in Gods house, only more visible. From the person who sweeps the floor, to the pullpit, not one is more important. We are all broken and reborn anew in the Lord. Embrace the cracks and let God heal you. Embrace the hardships and the lessons you endure. Let God show you how great He is by working through the problems you face. Let God dry your tears, and heal your wounds. God did not remove the Red Sea, merely made a path through it. God will see you through your troubles and your sorrows. Praise him in the valley, and on the mountain top, the meadow, and the storms.

The problems will come and the joys too. No matter where we are, Jesus is there with us. Enjoy the peace when it comes. Prepare your hands for battle and trust in the Lord. Get up and get out there and share why Jesus is important to you. From a broken heart, to being a new Creation, let everyone know what makes you different by being different. Show the world what being a follower of Christ really looks like. Stand firm and trust Jesus has your back, beautiful cracks and all.

Christian Today

Christian Today

Being Christian doesn’t mean living a perfect life. Being Christian doesn’t mean never making bad choices. Being Christian doesn’t mean you won’t ever hurt someone, or even yourself. Being Christian doesn’t mean you have the right to judge someone else for their failings. In fact being Christian is living life walking with Jesus. It isn’t about a book of rules, or even a book of judgmental prudes, but merely a book of how our Heavenly wants us to live, for He knows what’s best for us. Living a life of scripture is to share that love with others. Pointing out someone’s sins or mistakes isn’t passing judgment, it would be a kin to telling a friend they are making bad choices. Scripture does however state in doing this, do so with kindness.

Being Christian is about having a relationship with the Father. Being Christian means taking care of the poor; taking care of the homeless; taking care of widows; taking care of orphans, and each other. This is not a take from the rich and give to the poor, this is your heart in Christ should desire to help those in need. Living in Christ is to serve. Are you?

There are so many people who have negative views of Christians. Are we doing our best to share love? Are we living out our faith? We as Christians will never be judged more than those skeptics who watch us from afar. Christian, stay away from foolish arguments. Live in peace as much as you can with all people. Do your best to share Jesus and what being Christian really means. Remember that your mission field is just outside your door. Love all, Serve all. Don’t give up on the world around you. Don’t loose hope. We are ambassadors in this land, sent by Christ to share to the world of something more beautiful, more special, more eternal than anyone has ever known.

Christian, keep your eyes on Christ and don’t fret the day away. You can gain not one moment of your life by worrying. Fear not the news of the day, nor the season of the year, but know Jesus is still on the throne. Stand for Jesus, and never give up ground to the world. Hold fast to your faith. The tomb was then and will always be empty.

I’m sorry, I’m not Sorry

I’m sorry, I’m not Sorry 

(Avengers Endgame Spoilers) 

Tony Stark looks over at Dr. Strange, who lifts a finger, telling Tony there’s only one way. Tony then realizes the one way is for him to be the one, to sacrifice himself for the good of the team, and of the universe. There was only one path that would ensure victory over Thanos and his army, and it was Tony. 

How fitting an end for the 11 years of cinema, but what can we take away from this cinematic wonder, but a lesson for all of us to understand the journey of Jesus Christ. Scripture tells us that while many will attempt to achieve Heaven the journey will not end well for many. Not to say the journey is easy, but the way is simple. Jesus tells us in John 14:6NKJV “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” This seems like a very simple message. It is, but sadly it is also foretold that while this is the one way, the truth, many will not accept Christ and well… Many will parish into the burning pits of sulfur known as Hell. Matthew 7:22 NKJV “Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ There is a difference knowing Jesus in an academic sense, and knowing Jesus in your heart. 

Today there’s a phenomenon going on worldwide known as the Fluid Truth, or to each his own. When it comes to Heaven this is a whole lie. There is not half-truths, or partial truths referring to Heaven. This is a lie Satan has used to spread and divide man from the Father. Sadly, mankind has bought into this lie hook line and sinker. The idea now that everyone has the right to believe what they way, is fundamentally accurate, you do have the right to believe whatever you want, but that doesn’t mean what everyone believes is true, or even factual. One of the great things about being an American prior to the last decade is that Americans were free to worship and follow whatever religion they so choose too. While I firmly believe in a free society, one to choose their own path, it can easily be said and proven that there has been a growing movement to silence the voice of Christians in this country. That’s not an inflammatory statement, it’s true, and can be seen in the way the government runs, the attacks upon the church, and it’s people, and while Christianity is not yet considered “hate speech” it does look like this country is headed in that direction. 

There have been many in high places that would like to silence Christian speech, and silence scripture all together. Many people as Billy Graham once said are offended by the cross. He also says the cross is a confrontation we all must face. Billy Graham’s Final Message (https://youtu.be/b4TMuee7Ir8

We deserve so much more than the life we have. We deserve death, as the cross demands a new lifestyle in all of us. We know that spiritual warfare is a lifelong journey. We know that spiritual warfare is a journey we must all face. We know the word is a two-edged sword. The scripture is a weapon against Satan. Do not compromise on the word. The word is in its entirety truth. Faith in scripture gives instruction on how to repent. The Lord wields a two edged sword a double edged sword. This strikes against even the 1% of lies. Strike down the lies, drop the hammer on falsehoods, and strike them down. 

Revelation 2:16 “Repent therefore! Otherwise, I will soon come to you and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth.” The word of the Lord is a sword to strike down the forces of evil that surrounds us every day. 

The word of God is infallible, it can be proven by legitimate time and study. History itself has proof that Christ lived, died, and was buried, and rose again. For those who question this, you can watch Lee Strobel a once proclaimed Atheist who researched and instead of disproving Christ, proved Christ. https://youtu.be/67uj2qvQi_k

Stand on the truth of the word of the Lord. Scripture says John 1:1 NKJV “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” Jesus Christ is the word, and we must believe that the word is truth, not one of many, but the one and only truth. We must first believe, and then we shall receive. 

John 1:12 NKJV “But as many as received Him, to them He gave the [a]right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name:” 

We are given what we need in this life, and with truth we can defend, truth we can count on, truth we can trust, Jesus is our savior, Jesus is the one and only way to the Father in Heaven. Jesus answers our prayers, and Jesus saves us and delivers us from evil. Satan falls at the word of the Lord, and we have the Sword of the Lord. 

Do not compromise, and do not kneel before the world. Kneel before Christ only. Do not compromise the word to appease the world. Do not stand with the fallen world, and never give an inch to the world. Stand tall, stand firm, and remember to always stand with love. Scripture tells us how to share scripture, how to share the love of Christ, and that’s in love, and peace. Share God by living in God. Share Jesus by looking like Jesus in your day. Seek God and you shall find, you shall receive. Have a relationship with God, for religion is what you can do to receive, Christian is not a religion, but a relationship. We can do nothing for our Lord, but instead everything was done for us. You are adopted into the family of Heaven, and for all your questions, all your wonder, we know Jesus lived, and we know Jesus Died, and we know that in proof, Jesus rose from the dead in fulfillment of the scripture that foretold his coming. Never give up on yourself, and never turn your back on God, for he will never leave, nor forsake you. Hold firm the sword of truth, and you shall be strong, and Jesus we know is committed to you through a covenant of blood, that no one, and nothing can ever break. 

The Pull Of The Dark Side

The Pull Of The Dark Side 

It’s easy to get swept up in the every day minutia of this world. The world wants to separate you from God. The world is ruled by the once most beautiful of all of the angels who betrayed God, and orchestrated a rebellion and attempted to overthrow the heavenly kingdom. It’s shocking how fast the doubt, the uncertainty, and the worry creeps into your life when you’re not being careful. Even when you are feeling alone, like you’re the only person on the planet, know that you are sitting on a well of vast untapped love and grace from a father who adores you above all else. You are perfectly and wonderfully made for a purpose. 

I have often given people chance after chance after chance in my life, giving people opportunities to repent, to forgive, and even chances to come back into my life knowing what the eventual outcome would most likely be. I wonder why I fail to give myself those same chances. Why have I not seen my own worth or my own value, as I have seen in other’s. Why have I not seen the goodness within myself to forgive myself, or to be patient with myself when I have often gifted those things to others? The truth is while I spent time looking for earthly comforts, people to be in my life, people to talk too, to fill a chasm, it spreads because the world cannot fulfill that gap inside. The world’s promises are empty and cannot fulfill what feels like it’s missing. For the only fulfillment of one’s soul is found in Jesus Christ, who gives help to the helpless, faith for those who are faithless, and the joy for those who live in despair. This is the way for those who are wayward. For those who are lost in the wilderness unable to navigate the worlds treacherous environment there is hope, there is a savior who is come to free us from bondage, to show us the way, to lead us out of the wilderness and to the land of Sweet honey. The way is Christ, the only way the truth and the life.

Problems come up in our lives, disagreements, differences of opinions, etc. In recent years I have felt both connected and disconnected at the same time. The struggle to find the balance between truth, and feelings has been difficult. I have been thinking about that balance and considering the balance in the Jedi. Most Jedi see balance as removing what is toxic of the force, thus bringing balance to the light. Some people believe that balance of the force is more gray rather then black and white. Gray Jedi bits of both light and dark sides of the force. But how does that relate to us in the real world. I think balance is finding the peace within. As Sirius Black says “The world isn’t split into good people and Death Eaters. We’ve all got both light and dark inside us.” (Harry Potter, Order of The Phoenix) We as Christians must realize that while everyone has an opinion based on point of view, the fight of good and evil, or rather God and the Worldview, is something we must all take very seriously. Of course there are hills to die on, and hills not too, but I urge Christians to check themselves. When or if engaged in an opinion-based conversation, be sure to check that opinion and ensure it lines up with scriptural teachings. The Bible is not a book where you can pick out what you like, and toss aside what you don’t. Now, this does not give you the right to start throwing judgments around at people. Sin is rampant in this life, and surrounds each and every one of us. As Christ said, “For the one who has not sinned, throw the first stone.” We will see sin all around us, but as I have said before, just because something is true, doesn’t mean it’s helpful. Now, that being said, people will follow whatever form of logic they want, even those who know scripture may choose to ignore it to suit their own personal opinions. 

So here’s my advice, don’t engage in those who ignore truth. And reverting back to my original point, find truth in the infallible word of God. Sin is what leads us to doubt ourselves. Sin is what leads us to question our worth. Sin is what leads us to find comfort in all the wrong places. Sin, is by definition anything that is self-serving that separates us from God. We must learn to find the balance within, which is often attacked from outside sources. Temptations from Satan, attacks from others, forgotten by friends, abandoned by loved ones, they will all come and go at some point in your life. Where are we in our walk to learn how to handle and manage these types of things? Where am I? I don’t really know where I am. I’m a broken, sinful mess, but I’m a work in progress. As scripture teaches us, God uses broken things. 

Even in our brokenness, God uses those willing to serve. Are we able to look past ourselves and see who we are meant to be? How do we make choices in our life? I am quick to give others grace, but not myself. How do we deal with difficult people? How do we deal with the doubt within ourselves? Scripture gives us guidance and instructions for life, but do we read and study it? Are we truly knowledgeable about Gods word and teaching? We can be such an opinionated people, but truth is, the only opinions that matter are those of our Lord and Savior Christ with the Father. There will always be hot button topics, and while some are up for debate, some in scripture are not. Faith in the Word gives us guidance and comfort and we desperately need that. 

I find myself viewing the world different then I used too. People aren’t always easy to get along with, and if I’m honest, I have found myself less patient, more irritable, and it seems clouded are my thoughts. Am I afraid of the future? Am I afraid of my path? I think perhaps I have become afraid to fail, and I have looked down at myself as a failure. The pull of the dark side is strong and it takes a considerable amount of effort to maintain a steady path. While I am not sure what tomorrow will bring, I have to consider and maintain that life isn’t always as clear-cut and black and white as it used to be. Life can be complicated, but in that complication rests the assurance that no matter where we go, or what we encounter God is with us. It isn’t easy separating ourselves from the world. It isn’t easy looking at ourselves through a different lens then that of the world view. The world teaches young girls how they should look and dress. The world teaches young boys about gangster lives, and how to treat a woman. Mothers raise children alone. The world teaches young girls about their self worth, but the same goes for young boys struggling to find their value. 

Our value can be found in Christ, but there are a lot of pitfalls in this world. There are a lot of things pulling attention and those competitors can be a strong pull to the dark side. The influences that come from this world can and often do cloud our Christian view and if we aren’t careful we can fall into a pit of false doctrine, secular ideas, and we can loose ourselves in the world, and fall away from the light. 

We are all valuable to our Lord, and will never find fulfillment in this world apart from Christ. We have to remain vigilant in our studies with the gift the Lord gave us. I sometimes need to be reminded that the world does not dictate who I am. The people in my life who come and go do not account for my value. Peoples opinions do not always line up with scripture, but no matter what side of the fence you are on, we are all sinners. Sin while a wide scope can be tricky to handle. Worldviews can be dug in to a persons psyche and their personality. Life is not easy and life is certainly not simple. Delicate is the path of the light side. We do not want to push people away, but also don’t want people to be led astray by the world. We ourselves do not want to be led off course by a secular worldview. Have faith in the Holy Spirit to guide you. Let it flow through you, around you and fill you up. The Holy Spirit is all around us and will guide us if we allow it too. Trust in it, and stay away from the lure of societies worldviews. 

The Journeyman

The Journeyman 

I don’t know exactly where I am, or where I am going. As I have been reflecting on my life, I find myself stumbling. The road has been long, and now that the high of graduating is wearing off, the holidays are here, and I guess you could say I have the holiday blues. Do we trust ourselves? Do we trust how we feel? Is what we feel the truth, or is it a momentary stumbling block? 

I think Christianity is a journey and on that journey someone discovers many truths. I’m not referring to the truth of Christ being the one and only way to the Father, but rather the truths that stream from the ebb and flow of who we are. Our selves are determined by the cells and genes that make up the physical aspects, but the environment shapes our minds. On this journey I have fallen down, and as of late, the depressive struggle has been very real for me. The days have come and gone since the many years ago I started down this road. In all reality I have looked to the world for answers, I have looked to scripture for answers, and still I find myself seeking something, and I don’t recognize myself in the mirror. There’s something to be said for not knowing who you are. When you don’t know who you are that means you can be molded. So many years ago I looked into the mirror and I didn’t know who I was. Many years ago I wrote a paper and I recalled writing this “You’re not worth anything. Why do you even get up in the morning?” (Fateful Night). I truly believed I wasn’t worth anything, and in all this time I have wondered who am I? I am the clay and Jesus is the potter. If Jesus is that interested in me, then I must be someone. Jesus has the whole universe at his disposal and billions of people, trillions of lifeforms, and out of all of that, Jesus loves and is still working on me. Head knowledge and heart knowledge don’t always talk to one another in the most reasonable of ways. 

There’s so much in life that is complicated, and yet, simple at the same time. I’ve been looking for my place in the world since my wife left me three years ago. I’ve been trying to figure out what it was God was calling me to do. Over the years I’ve had my ups and downs, but I know that God is working with me. Is my place to help others? IS my place to preach the good word to others? Is my place to help others find their path? Is my place being a photographer, a writer, both? Is my place counseling other people? 

If you’ve wondered where your place is in this world, have no fear, Jesus is near. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall [a]direct your paths.” 

While I have no idea where God is leading me I know that the Lord will direct my path. Sometimes the path is long, because it takes time to make our courage strong. (hard love) 

Psalm 37:23-24 “The steps of a good man are [a]ordered by the Lord,

And He delights in his way. 24 Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down;

For the Lord upholds him with His hand.” 

Just because we don’t know the destination doesn’t mean we need to know right now. Just because we might seem lost, doesn’t mean we have anything to fear. We should not fear the destination, or the journey. Scripture teaches us that we are not given a spirit of fear, but one of hope and courage. 

Isaiah 41:10 NKJV “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” 

2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV) 7 “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 

In this journey we will face trials, we face hardships, and sometimes we face a measure of uncertainty, but in every day, we know that we have a place to send our fearful thoughts. 

Psalm 56:3 (NKJV) 3 “Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You.” 

Who am I? I’m a child of the King, I am wonderfully made and I know that in my times of fear, I know where I can put it. It’s okay to not know where we are headed, but we should not be afraid of the journey. This is a long journey, one with many ups and downs, and even when the storms come, shelter under the wings of the Angels. 

Who am I supposed to be, and what am I supposed to do? I think perhaps I am a hiker, and instead of worrying about the destination, I spend some time to take a look around where I’m at and enjoy the scenery right here where I am. What about you? Where are you, where are you going, and who do you want to be? Enjoy the adventure of life, and try not to stress over the things we can’t control, which is just about everything. Control what you can, let go of the rest, and enjoy the ride. 

God’s Will is Sovereign, Free Will Still Remains

God’s Will is Sovereign, Free Will Still Remains

I have been putting some thought into the idea of ‘free will’. Free will is defined by Google Definitions as “the power of acting without the constraint of necessity or fate; the ability to act at one’s own discretion.” From the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus asked the Father to take this burden from me. Matthew 26:29 “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” Jesus, though the Son of the Father, was given free will. Jesus was facing certain death, and even with that fate, Jesus has the choice to take himself off the cross at any point, but he chose to fulfill the Fathers plan. God’s will is sovereign, but even as God’s will is above all, he does not ever force our actions. 

I have waited a long time for people in my life to walk with God. There have been people I have hoped and prayed to God, that they would change their ways, change their hearts. I have prayed, and though my prayers have yet to be answered, I know that the Lord is still working in people’s lives. Even though I have not been able to see those changes, I have faith in God’s plans. Life isn’t easy sometimes, and sometimes life requires an incredible amount of patience. 

I have wondered for many years what the purpose of all my troubles have been. The death I have seen, the loss I’ve experienced, the heart break that shattered the hope in which I once had, all of it is within God’s will. I cannot walk with the Lord and be split down the middle. I cannot expect to live this life free of burdens. No matter how tough life is, the hurt that comes my way, I must remember that in all things the Glory of God must be the forefront. The burdens someone faces will never be in vain. God has given me the choice how to handle both the blessings given to me from above, and the struggles and attacks from the Devil. At no point in time can I ever say my bad choices, or handling of situations was because “the Devil made me do it.” The Lords will is sovereign and I must remember that I am a tool in God’s toolshed, and I must remain ready to answer His call. Jesus is the great healer, and no matter the troubles faced, we have the ability to heal. God heals the broken hearted, and God finds the lost. 

Dietrich Bonhoeffer said this “Since the day Jesus spoke the words, there is no longer anyone who is so forsake, who is so alone, to say that nobody has ever offered me help. Whoever has heard these words of Christ and still talks in such a way is lying and shows scorn and contempt for the words of our Lord.” Jesus cast a broad net with those words. The word All. There is no narrow hallway, this is such a wide circle that it literally would include everyone in the whole world. Who here hasn’t labored? Who here hasn’t been heavily burdened at some point or another?” 

It is hope we have received, and we burden not in vain, for the Lord Jesus sacrificed for all so we may not suffer for not. Jesus had the same free will we all have. Should we not rest assured that his words have had lasting and reverberating hope for our lives as well? No, I have not suffered for nothing, for all of my suffering, all of my hardships have prepared me for tomorrow. Everything I have endured has given me knowledge of the next step, the ability to face the next hardship with hope of the Lord beside me. No one person lives life hopeless. The Devil will try to convince you of such lies, but that’s all the Devil has to offer is lies. Now, do not mistake, the Devil has power, the Devil has legions as his will, but the fight of the Christian warrior comes with Jesus, and the legion of Angels on our side. Who shall we fear if we have the Lord on our side? We are forgiven of our sins, we have nothing to lose and nothing to fear. Who are we to hide from the fight? We must stand tall and know we are called to a higher standard of living in this world.

Bonhoeffer also says this “Politics are not the task of a Christian.

The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children.

Only he who believes is obedient and only he who is obedient believes.

The ultimate test of a moral society is the kind of world that it leaves to its children.

One act of obedience is better than one hundred sermons.

If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction.

A god who let us prove his existence would be an idol.

Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.

It is very easy to overestimate the importance of our own achievements in comparison with what we owe others.

To endure the cross is not tragedy; it is the suffering which is the fruit of an exclusive allegiance to Jesus Christ.” 

If we are to be the fruit of Jesus we must understand that the seed cannot remain a seed, but must transform into something more. We must be willing to undergo the transformation and grow beyond the seed. We must nurture our relationship with Christ, water it with the Holy Spirt, and let ourselves sprout and grow, and spread new seeds. Do not believe your labor is in vain, for this life is fleeting, the seasons come and go, but in faithfulness, the works of man shall be rewarded in Heaven. Works are not the beginning of truth, but the result of the truth that we are not saved by works, but by faith, by grace, by the Love and sacrifice of Jesus Christ, the only way to the Father. Forged in the fires of trials, we grow stronger, we are sharpened by the trials of man, to wield the strongest weapon against the darkness, the Word, the Holy Word of God which demons flea before the Cross, and we kneel. Our choices remain, and as Christ chose every second to remain on the cross for each and every one of us, we too much choose every second to remain with Christ in our fight till the day comes when the father calls us home. 

In your Heart, Christ or Scrooge?

In your Heart, Christ or Scrooge?

Recently I was spoken to by someone who undoubtedly has a tremendous amount of pain in their heart. I understand completely why, but the truth is, how that pain is spreading is truly heart breaking. Recently I was told by that person a whole lot of negative things about me personally. Those things got me thinking about who I am and how I’m handling situations. Several months ago I made a choice to defend God when someone was angry with him. This wasn’t a good idea, and as I’ve said before, actions and words have consequences. While what I said was scripturally accurate and true, it was not helpful. In fact, as I found out, it may have been the worst thing I could have said in the moment. That person has not forgiven for what I said, and has doubled down, and has blamed me for being selfish, self-righteous, and essentially not empathetic, with a hint of opinionated. This left me dumbfounded and unsure of how someone could say these things to me whom I have given gifts too, over the last few months, and I have consistently written them to see how they are doing, if they need anything, showing nothing but kindness. Sadly, people who are in pain often lash out. 

If you live life focused on just yourself, your heart I daresay is not with the Lord. If you make decisions without care of others, their feelings, or even their well-being, I would say you are missing out on love and your sin is making yourself on high, because that’s not God’s way. We are called to live in love and if we become selfish, we aren’t loving others, in fact you are loving self. 

Are you allowing Jesus to shine through you? Do you feel badly when you hurt someone? Thankfully there is hope for our lives and there is a time for change and the time is now. In the season of the birth of our savior Jesus Christ, we can be like the Grinch or Ebenezer Scrooge. Lets’ take a look at these two characters for a moment. 

Scrooge was a man who loathed people. He lived for himself, his success, and cared nothing for the poor, the sick, or even the family close to him. Do we as Scrooge had, allow ourselves to be wrapped in our own chains we make in our lives? Scrooge was gifted a chance to change his selfish ways. Scrooge is shown his past, present, and future in an attempt to warn him of his fate. Scrooge awakes with a new found zest for life. The three spirits were able to accomplish their goals and from that day forward Scrooge was a different man. He became a kind man, full of generosity and love in his heart. So what was it that saved him? Love, and grace. It’s the love and grace we get from Jesus that saved Scrooge because he saw others living life in love and grace towards others. 

The Grinch, the bane of Whoville. The Grinch hated all things Christmas. He hated the lights, the songs, the smiles, everything that the villagers of Whoville loved. Everyone in Whoville was afraid of the Grinch, everyone but Cindyloo Who. She went and showed kindness, and grace to the Grinch. After he attempted to steal Christmas and the villagers celebrated and sang anyway, without the lights, and tinsel, and presents, Christmas came. Grinch realized that the spirit of Christmas wasn’t the stuff, but the heart. Cindyloo touched his heart and in love, and in grace, the Grinch changed his ways. As the story goes, his heart grew three sizes that day. 

We all make mistakes, and we all say and do stupid things sometimes. Are we willing to forgive when someone makes attempts to make it right? Or, are we living in anger, and bitterness? I look to my life and realize that I have not always said or done the right things, but it’s Jesus that saves me, through love and mercy. As far as I know, I have tried to forgive those who’ve wronged me, and I have tried to make right my mistakes I’ve made towards others. 

Colossians 3:16-17 (NKJV) “16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. 17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” We must learn to live our lives in joy, and in anything we do or say, do so in a way pleasing to the Lord. Mistakes will happen, and words will slip. Someone will feel wronged by your words or actions. 

Romans 12:18 (NKJV) “18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” We have a choice how we act, and how we respond. Christ tells us we will be persecuted in his name, but those who attack us, or teat us unkindly, we are still called to love EVERYONE, and live in peace. 

I am sorry for what I’ve said, and I’ve done everything I possibly could to make it right. If Jesus dwells in your heart, wrong doings should tug at your conscience and you should be driven to make things right. This Christmas season remember why we celebrate. Remember that it’s love, and grace, and good will towards men/women. We were given a gift that silent night, and we should live our every day with Christ in our hearts. Willing to forgive everyone for the trespasses, and share love, grace, and mercy with everyone we encounter. 

Silent Night

Silent Night 

The world tells us that Christmas is about the presents. The world tells us Christmas is about the food, the movies, the music, the trees, the decorations, but what is Christmas? See, the word Christmas is actually two words together. The first part is of course CHRIST. And mass which is from the Latin word missa, which may be called the celebration of the Eucharist. While scholars may not all agree how the word Christmas has come to be, but one thing is clear, you can’t have Christmas without the Christ. See, Christmas isn’t about the mistletoe, or the tinsel, the gifts under the tree. 

When I was growing up there were years I didn’t have much under the tree. There were years I didn’t know where I was going to be living, While my young life was strange, and not ordinary, I can say the same about the life of Christ. Christ was prophesized more than 400 years before his birth. Isaiah 7:14 (NKJV) 14 “Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call His name Immanuel.” There are messianic prophesize all throughout the old testament, and one by one they came true. Jesus Christ was born for us, his mother was sent away from the Inn, and was born in a manger. Jesus was laid in swaddling clothes and put in a feeding trough. Not exactly the ideal picture of a king. Jesus lived a perfect life free of sins, and yet when he was just around 2 years old his family was forced to flee their home to a land that was not of their own, away from their kin, because Harod decreed the death of all male children two years old and younger. He was trying to kill the future king foretold by the wise men, or magi. While scripture is not clear how many, it was those wise men that found Christ in a house. Those wise men however found favor and sympathy for the king and warned them of the impending doom. The gifts given to Christ helped paid for Mary, Joseph, and Jesus’s time as refugees in Egypt. 

Jesus, God, put himself on this world, put on flesh, a feat that if one considers what it must have been like going from perfection, to the decay of human flesh. The humble act of Christ to die for all of humanity; to give us the greatest choice of all, salvation or damnation. Jesus gives us all the greatest choice in this life, but it all started with the birth of a little baby boy. Christmas is about the birth of our savior. Christmas is about the joy given because before the joy of the world came forth somewhere in a city known as Bethlehem, there was no hope. Life was hopeless, and remains hopeless without Christ. Christmas is about the renewal of hope. Christmas is about the reminder that a baby existed that broke the silence of 400 years, and forever changed the course of human fate. Christ gave hope and that hope is stronger than any fear, any sadness, any sin. Christ died and paid the sacrifice for us, but without a birth, there can be no death. Christ is more than some story told in a book, but the living God who loves us so much, He renews our spirit every day. 

Go, celebrate this CHRISTmas season, but don’t let the only reminder of Christ be during the month of December, but remember Christ all year. Remember Christ and what was done for us, and remember the life Christ lived for each an every one of us. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Silent Night. 

THANKSGIVING 2019

THANKSGIVING 2019

It’s not been an easy few years. Looking back starting in September 2016 up till now, I have looked deeply into my life and as I have sincerely figured this has been the hardest three years of my life. From near death to graduating from college in a matter of two weeks, I have followed a path of hardships and self-exploration. One of my biggest thanks is the very church I attend on a regular basis. In the last three years I went from a simple attendee to working security, being on the puppet ministry, volunteering with the youth, teaching, I have come a long way and even with a major loss in October, I know that my church is my tether to my spiritual path. In the last three years, my church has lifted me up, guided me, supported me, and when things got sour, my church had my back. I have been mentored and sustained. 

My best friend has stood by me, and has helped me through some dark days. Having the love and support of an amazing church, a mother who has put up with me and my sarcasm, my occasional frustrations, my lack of a job (even though I do contribute financially) and my crazy animals, I am immensely grateful. While this year hasn’t been the greatest for my body, or my emotional life, it’s not been nearly as bad as the years prior. I am grateful for those in my life that if they read this, know who they are. 

The Devil has been working overtime to bring me down this year. Struggling with depression since October and a chronic pain situation, I have found myself frustrated and stressed. School has been a challenge, perhaps the hardest challenge I’ve had in my 5 years. With school coming to an end, I am grateful to be able to finish successfully. I am thankful for my upcoming mission journey to Honduras. I’m grateful to be able to work in the church working with the youth. Being a free-4-all volunteer has meant a great deal to me. I have found great joy and pleasure working with the youth. I never thought I would enjoy working with them, but as it turns out, God has a funny sense of humor. So that being said, there’s a few things I’d like to express thanks for. 

John 3:16 New King James Version (NKJV)16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” 

Ephesians 6:11-18 11 “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

14 Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; 18 praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints—” 

John 15:13 New King James Version (NKJV) 13 “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” 

Without Jesus my life would mean nothing. Without my savior I would have no hope. I am appreciative of my Lord and Saviors sacrifice for me. I could not list anything higher in my life, but to be thankful for Jesus. No matter what is going on in my life, or where I find myself, the Hilltop, the Valley, or anywhere in between, Jesus is my rock. Nothing else matters as much, and as I go into this Holiday Season, I do so with great expectations of a blessed season. Not for the coming gifts for they will be few this year, but where I have a lack of physical gifts, I am blessed beyond measure with the spiritual gifts from the Father. I am thankful for everything I have and as to paraphrase Paul, I am content with where I am and with what I have. Jesus loves me and that is the most important thing to be thankful for.