Of Course I’m Angry

Of Course I’m Angry

The world has been unkind. It’s been cruel and without fail the wolves come and attack by night. The enemy has burnt down my castle, and has taken nearly everything I’ve held most dear, more than once. I was angry as a kid with no where to put it. The anger stayed inside and the gauge continued to rise without a relief valve. That angry kid internalized so much but instead of being angry it turned into self-loathing. I believed for so many years being angry was a bad and wrong thing of me. I felt as if my anger was viewed as a weakness, and I didn’t have any good reason to be angry. The truth is I had every right to be angry, and as normal as anger is be it’s important to know how to manage that anger. Where do we direct our anger when it comes? Do we store it inside for use later? I want to tell you a little story about someone who’s angry but it’s based on a selfish desire and what he did with his anger.

If you were Lucifer and you were angry at God for being banished from paradise and cast down to earth to roam unable to return home wouldn’t you be upset? Wouldn’t you hate God’s children that took so much attention from the Father? Whether the Angels were created as servants or children the effect is the same. Lucifer was created to be the most beautiful of all the Angels and his pride caused the rebellion and the fall. Attacking God’s children in Adam & Eve was a sure way to get God’s attention. Who is truly the angry one here? When you start feeling self-loathing, and anger, and hatred, who has the most to gain? Misery loves company, and if Satan, once the most beautiful of all God’s creations fell from grace never to return to perfection, that pride, that anger, that bitterness, no one wants to be alone. Satan draws you in to his own pain, and it’s not you, it’s him.

It’s Not Me It’s You

 Let’s get the story straight
You were a poison
You flooded through my veins
You left me broken
You tried to make me think
That the blame was all on me
With the pain you put me through
And now I know that it’s not me it’s you (you)

It’s not me it’s you (you)
Always has been you
All the lies and stupid things you say and do
It’s you (you)
It’s not me it’s you (you)
All the lies and pain you put me through
I know that it’s not me it’s you

 

Satan chose to be King of the earth rather than a servant in Heaven. He has a legion of fallen Angels at his side and his anger, and cruelty and malice spread across the earth as a plague. The enemy and the legions that follow are in every ear, every whisper, every discouraging comment, and all the route of a single act of sinful pride. As Lucifer fell his turn to the dark side became complete. Any good that may have remained in him turned bitter, cold, in essence he became the antitheses of God, which God’s complete power. God’s grace, and love, and mercy for mankind, Lucifer turned Satan held the antitheses of these things, malevolence, hatred, and cruelty towards mankind. The perception that Satan was able to do a better Job then God himself led Satan to betray God, which of course God knew from the beginning. An angry child throwing a temper tantrum is how I put it before. Lucifer once hailed as the definition of beauty, now scorched and his anger fuels the hatred and rage that runs over all of us every day.

Yes I was a kid when so many horrible things happened to me, and then as time went on more things would happen in my adult life. I found myself angry, and bitter, and the monster that was inside of me longed to escape. While any reasonable person could look at my life and understand why I’d be angry, the truth is, anger isn’t healthy to hold on to. I was wrong for so many years to let it stick with me. I watched as that anger turned inward and became the root of my self worth’s destruction. I feel rejection deeply, a blow that can often bring me to my knees. As rejection has become such a big part of my life, I hurt deeply when it happens. I have a hard time not blaming myself when others feel the desire to walk away. My mind tells me it’s my fault no one loves me. My mind tells me it’s me, and I must be worthless. I’m not strong enough to manage the pain inside, and I’m weak for feeling this way. All lies.

Jesus Christ, the son of the Father, became sin so we would not have to bare the burden of death. Jesus was an act of love and mercy, and if we were not worthy of God’s love, if we were not important to God, we would not have been saved. We are the multitude of God’s creation, and we were so loved, meaning we were so important to God, that we were given the gift of Jesus Christ to pay our ransom, our very own individual ticket to Heaven. If we want to be angry, bitter, and full of hate, have you taken a moment to ask where that came from? Satan wants control, he wants us to feel the darkness that he has fully embraced. Satan wasn’t rejected because of who he was, he was rejected by himself. He choose to rebel against God of his own selfish pride. He may not have known the true ramifications of his actins, but with the multitude of millions of fallen angels around the world, it’s no wonder anger and hatred has spread. As we become more disconnected with God we don’t feel his grace and mercy like we once had. As we pass laws to criminalize the Christian faith, we will see the darkness continue to spread over the land.

There is hope however, knowing that Jesus Christ is more powerful than the world. Jesus is sovereign over the heavens and Satan while his rule on earth is temporary, which will never amount to anything in the end. All the souls lost have joined the eternal damnation that will follow. Again, misery loves company. It wasn’t enough that Satan doomed the legion of fallen angels to eternal destruction, but Satan wants you to join him. What are you really angry about? Are you angry that God didn’t give you that pony when you were 13?  Are you angry you missed out on that promotion at work, or that your spouse had an affair? If you’re going to be angry at anything be angry that Satan has his hands around your loved ones. Be angry that Satan fills this world with lies to fuel his own sick, demented desires. Be angry that Satan is taking lives meant for Heaven and dooming them into a pit of despair. It’s okay to be angry, just make sure you use that anger for the glory of God, and realize whom the true enemy is.

Don’t let anger consume you. Don’t walk the path of darkness, do not hold onto the hatred that fills your soul. As Yoda once said, “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.”  If God, the one who created the Heavens and the Earth loved us so much, how can we be angry? We must lift up our hearts, to the one who holds the stars. We must trust in the goodness of this world because there is still light left. We must reject sin with malice. We must choose love over anger. Don’t be like me, don’t hold onto that anger for so long it stains the very core of your heart. Don’t allow anger to take up a permanent residence inside you. Feel the anger, and then let it go. Watch it leave with your breath, and allow the Holy Spirit to breathe inside you cleansing your spirit. Follow God’s word, Gods love, and live that love in your every day. While I have had just cause to be angry, what I didn’t have was the right to stay angry. Now I’m dealing with the self -loathing and self-doubt, and dealing with the stain is worse then getting spaghetti sauce on a white tablecloth. I have hated what I became, and as I kept it secret for many years, now it’s time to destroy that monster inside.

 We must understand that to fight the darkness, it’s to fundamentally change how we view the world. We must understand who we are in this place, and realize the world’s lies to us, and about us, do not define who we are. We must trust in God’s love, and not doubt our creator. If we believe that God is perfect, and His plan is perfect, then we must believe that we are exactly who we because it’s what God wanted. We have the choice how to allow the world to affect us, and if we choose to let the world lie to us, beat us down, make us angry, that’s a personal choice, and not what God wanted. Don’t get me wrong, anger is a healthy emotion, even Christ showed anger. God has displayed anger, and we too are given the emotion for a reason, but don’t allow that to consume you, to control you. You are in control of your emotions when you acknowledge them and deal with them. It’s okay to face the darkness, just don’t become the darkness.

You Think It’s Hot?

You Think It’s Hot?

It’s been hot here in North Carolina. It’s been in the 90’s and the humidity has been 70% or higher. We complain, or rather, I complain about the heat and humidity here in this state. See, my body doesn’t like humidity. I can step outside, do nothing, sit in the shade, and yet, I will soak through a shirt in just minutes. It’s discouraging and frustrating that I can’t do what I like doing in the summer. I think about how miserable I’ve been but then I think about my salvation, and realize while I may be miserable today, this life is fleeting, and I don’t have to be miserable in the afterlife. We see what Hell will be in the book of Revelation 21:8“But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.” I know when I think about the suffering I go through now, being in a fiery lake of burning sulfur for eternity just doesn’t sound pleasant.

One thing I have heard so often is, people believe in Christ, and often say they are good people. I have heard people tell me that if they do enough good work, be basically a good person, that they would be able to get into heaven. Those who truly submit to the Lord, to love the Lord are ones who will be allowed to enter the gates of perfection. Matthew 7:21-23 21“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22 Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’ While the authorship of Matthew is not known, the canonicity of Matthew has never been in question. Jesus would prophesize the coming generations and for many the path doesn’t end well. As Jesus consistently said many would come, few will enter. And when they come and get turned away, their path is expressed in Matthew 25:46“Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.” So many people say I’m not that bad of a person, I’ve never killed anyone, never stolen anything, etc, but when you look at the first sin, all the way back to Adam and Eve, what sin was committed in the beginning? The first sin was eating of the fruit of good and evil, the tree of knowledge. Eve didn’t have to kick puppies to get there, or break into a max security parameter to get to the tree, instead she could walk straight to the tree, reach up, and grab the fruit. The sin was saying ‘No’ to God. Telling God our way is better, and God can’t control me. The sin in the garden wasn’t inherently ‘bad’ by our standard, but at the foot of the cross all sin is created equal. If that particular action doomed the entire race of man to an eternity of Hell, what do you think your sins will cost you if you don’t submit to Christ?

I’ve been to one of the hottest places on the planet and between Iraq, Kuwait, and Death Valley, I’ve seen hot. The hot we experience on this planet is nothing compared to what an eternity awaits us if we don’t give our hearts to the Lord. I for one would rather not spend that much time in Hell. I’ve seen war, and the statement ‘war is hell’ while perhaps it is hell on this earth, the Hell we are promised if we are turned away from the gates of perfection is beyond our understanding of suffering. Don’t believe the hype that if you are mostly good you’re saved. Jesus is not fire insurance, and is not a ‘get out of jail free’ card. Those who think if they walk a walk, and pray a prayer, then they will be saved, this is absolutely not true. While I am in no position to say if you’re saved or not, that’s between you and God. However, I would urge you to take a long hard talk with Jesus Christ and work on if you’re saved or not. If you come to decide you’re not truly saved, there is no better time then now. Remember John 3:16For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” Follow the Lord Jesus Christ, and let God into your heart and fill you with the Holy Spirit. Give yourself to the Lord completely, and submit whole heartedly.

 

The Chasm

The Chasm

I feel cold, I feel hallow and full of question. I feel broken, and the light seems so far away. How can I ever get through this and see another sunrise? The life lived flashes in my mind. Pictures, and videos playing together and I can see the smiles of my loved ones past, my failures, and my successes. The video isn’t happy but somber. Broken it seems, the video skips and repeats over and over at certain points along the film. It’s not the film that’s broken it’s me. The darkness is heavy and weighs me down. The tears stain the ground below me, the elephant sitting on my chest, and the sunshine in my mind turns to gray, and black, the flowers turn to dust and ash spreading out all around me.

I’m a failure and everything I’ve ever worked for has meant nothing. I suffer through the nights seeking a purpose, seeking a reason to be saved from the darkness. A failure in life, and a failure in love, alas I am nothing, and no one. The journey has led me here and I can’t see beyond the edge of this cliff. The fall is long and I know I can’t go back. The thunder rolls in the distance and I can tell the storm’s getting closer to me. The wind begins to howl and I can feel the cool bitterness of the night on my cheek. It’s cold on the tear streaks left behind. My eyes are swollen from crying, the crackling of the lightning startles me and sounds as if I’m being taunted. I have nowhere to turn, no way out. The storm approaches quickly, something unnatural, and mystical. The rain starts, it’s freezing and each pelt to my skin feels like it’s ripping through me. I look down only to realize the rain is going through me. I don’t understand, and I’m afraid. I hide behind the rock and I scream. The thunder crackles and the ground shakes. I can hear the rock crumbling all around me.

The wind sounds different, I listen close and in it I can hear something. The wind said failure, I am sure of it. Lighting strikes near by and I feel the power course through the ground. The ledge I’m on cracks, and I peek beyond the rock, I’m separated from the mainland now. I’m stranded here, with a cliff surrounding me. The rain still tries to hit me. I hear the wind again and it calls me weak. I tremble and more rain hits me, the pain floods my body. I see something in the distance, it’s cold, gray, solid, it’s a slab of some kind. What’s it say, I can’t read it? I move from the cover I have to get closer, it says my name. It’s a tombstone. Under my name it says disappointment in life. All my life I don’t understand, I tried so hard, and here I am. I turn away from the tombstone and I see a coffin in front of me, I look down and I see myself lying there. Cold, and gray, lifeless, the body frail and withered, but I know it’s me. What happened to me? The hand jumps to grab my wrist and I can’t get away. I fall but my arm is stuck. The sharp pain as I can see a message etched into my forearm. The message says hope from within. The hand lets go and I stumble back to the rock.

I look around franticly as the ground shakes again. The space between me and the casket crumbles and the casket falls into the abyss and flames fly up from the now smoky chasm. What does that mean hope from within? The ground turns to fractured glass under me, and I can see myself. I look pale, I look broken, I am full of holes from the strange rain. I am crumbling myself, and I have no where to go now. I can feel the anger and hatred bubbling up from inside. I grab a stone from next to me and I raise it to the sky, and with all my might slam it down upon the fractured glass. It shatters and I feel the moment of weightlessness before I fall. It feels almost peaceful the fall, the moments prior to knowing the end is near. It feels almost like relief like the pain and suffering may be over soon. Blackness covers over my eyes, and there’s nothing. Consciousness is gone and there is truly nothing.

Living life isn’t easy, and it’s certainly not for the weak. All those things we feel about what we couldn’t achieve, or what we failed, or what we lost, are only used as tools against us if we let them. There’ve been times in my life where I felt like this. There were times when I felt as if my entire world was crumbling all around me, and it would have been so easy to let myself fall and sink into nothingness. The key to life, the key to happiness is knowing that the hope lies within. The knowledge in Jesus Christ, the truth that each of us has the potential for great love, or great hate, always within us. When we stumble and fall what forces us to gather the strength to get back up and carry on. When we listen to the voices in the dark, what do we hear? Can we hear the voice of truth or the voice of lies? Do we allow the darkness to cover us and we succumb to the lies? Do we raise up and climb out of the chasm we are in. The truth is we aren’t alone and even when we feel like we are, we must dig deeper and search our heart to find truth, the true faith that we have inside. If we let the deceivers lies influence us, we will forever remain in the storm, stumbling blindly through life until the end comes for us, and eternity rests in the balance. We always have a choice, and no matter how dark, how scary, how perilous the journey seems to be, we aren’t alone, we have a guide. The Book of God tells us where our hearts need to be. It tells us what we will face, and how bad it can get. The book tells us our futures, and we have only but to ask, but to prove not just to God, but to ourselves that our faith is strong. The faith to get back up when we fall. The faith to face the fire, to run into the Devils den and know that no matter what happens, we’ll be okay. We can face tomorrow no matter what today is like because of two little words, Jesus Christ. We live because Christ died, and rose again showing everyone that the bonds of death had been broken. We will always be our own worst enemy when we let the Devils whispers influence us. We will always feel alone, and hallow, and empty if the Devil has His way. Life will always do you wrong, but we must keep marching on. You will be brought to your knees, but if you are on bended knee you can do one thing, only one thing that will truly save you in the moments of despair, pray. We can only give ourselves to God, mind, body, and soul, and in that instance we will be fueled by the Holy Spirit and by the graces of God we can achieve success over the attacks by the prince of darkness. Don’t allow yourself to end up on a precipice alone. Don’t let the storm frighten you, for when you have little faith, you become the weak pray for the Devil to devour.

My own past haunts me, my choices, my failures, my losses, and although they have been great and plenty, and I have suffered long, tomorrow can bring light instead of dark. The flowers may bloom instead of wilt. Faith isn’t easy, and it takes practice, it takes time, it takes constant effort to build the muscles in your mind and in your heart to trust in God. Knowing and doing are very different. Knowing you should trust God with every aspect of your life, and doing it can be a vast challenge. Hope and love, forgiveness and relinquishing control are the ways to the light. We must forgive those who’ve hurt us, we must forgive ourselves for our parts in the wrongs in our life. We must let God be with us, let God hold us, and protect us. Living is hard enough as it is, we don’t need to make it harder on ourselves by doing it alone. Have faith in the Lord and accept the gifts He gives to us. A lesson I still haven’t mastered, but every day I try. You can walk the rugged path with God, or the smooth path without, but things aren’t always as they appear, sometimes what seems to good to be true, probably is. Don’t be fooled by the easy path, or the pretty baubles that shine in front of you.

Do you have your passport?

Do you have your passport?

John 14:6 “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’” We know that the only way to heaven is to believe in the Son Jesus Christ. I have traveled over a large portion of the world and during those travels I had to use my passport to do so. When we die we have a choice of where we want to travel next. When we live our lives our actions will dictate where we go. Just like our passport to travel abroad, our passport doesn’t always give us the ability to travel to any country they want. Parts of China, Russia, and North Korea for instance are not permissible with a passport alone.

In Romans 10:9 it reconfirms the point that you cannot travel to Heaven without the relationship with Jesus Christ. “Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” The point is simple, we have straightforward rules to follow and if we do that, if we give our lives to Christ and accept that we are small in the grand scheme of life.

When we think about eternity why are we so stubborn to face the facts of life like a good honorable person? Sometimes in life it’s difficult to keep ourselves focused on the big picture. We often want the feel good medicine. We give up our morals, our compass that points to God for the things that give us worldly gratification. We often fall short in our walk with Christ, but thankfully the gatekeeper of Heaven is an understanding guy. Heaven is a place for those who are proclaimed sinners, people who know they’ve done wrong, and in the midsts of those mistakes try to pay the penance for them, they try to redeem themselves, and ask God for forgiveness for the sins committed, a person who tries to do the works for the pleasure of God. We cannot get to heaven through good works, but in our love of Christ, we are compelled to do good works because we are the hands and feet of Christ Jesus.

Make sure that as you live your life just like your drives license and your passport, you keep your faith renewed. Knowing Jesus and knowing that through Him is the only way into heaven that’s your passport. Make sure you keep it with you in your daily walk. Make sure you keep it updated by reading your bible, spending time with other Christians, loving your neighbors, and doing the works God has placed on your heart. Have faith in the Lord and you will be rewarded with a one way trip to eternal grace.

 

 

Don’t Forget Your Access Card

Don’t Forget Your Access Card

I work in a place that has unique access points throughout the whole building. The building is compartmentalized for you to only have access to the floors or locations you need access too. In my position however I have access to everything. What do we think about our chances on entering into Heaven? From the sounds of it, it sounds like a nice place. Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” A place with no pain, no suffering, and no crying sounds perfect. We know that Heaven is a large place because of John 14:2 “In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?” If we think about the sheer number of people on the planet, even if we consider only a 1/3 get into heaven for one reason or another, we still have to consider all those before us, and all those after us, who are going to be in heaven. That’s a lot of rooms. The energy bill alone would be astronomical, but that’s okay since the bill’s been paid for. Jesus’s blood paid for our entry.

Romans 10:9-13 “Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” In order for us to get through those pearly gates and past Saint Peter, we must first follow a few simple rules. 1 Corinthians 6:9Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,” and Matthew 7:21 “Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.” Though the road is narrow in which enters the Kingdom, those who truly devote their hearts to the Lord shall be blessed and given eternal paradise. Revelation 21:21-25 “And the twelve gates were twelve pearls, each of the gates made of a single pearl, and the street of the city was pure gold, transparent as glass. And I saw no temple in the city, for its temple is the Lord God the Almighty and the Lamb. And the city has no need of sun or moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and its lamp is the Lamb. By its light will the nations walk, and the kings of the earth will bring their glory into it, and its gates will never be shut by day—and there will be no night there.” A beautiful paradise that Jesus himself called home. Luke 23:43 “And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”

When the time comes for each and every one of us to breath our last breath, we need to make sure we’ve readied ourselves for the journey ahead. If you want to live your second life in eternal damnation and fire it’s quite okay to continue living life according to the lusts of the world, but if you want to be different, if you want to leave this life for a place beyond our wildest dreams, make sure you have the right access card. Make sure you don’t forget you need it. You won’t be able to go back and get it later. Believing that Jesus is the only way to Heaven is the golden badge you’ll need. Don’t live your life on the fence because in the end when you swipe, you’ll either get green or red, and red means dead.

Be Strong Against the Wolves

We are lost and wary, we are low and sad, we feel as if the whole world is against us. Our lowest days are true test of our fortitude, our faith. The loss we feel when we are betrayed, the loss we feel when our loved ones pass. We are cheated, we are attacked but who’s doing the hurting, who’s doing the attacking? The hardships in life we face are not always hardships we have control over. Sometimes they are caused by acts more powerful then us, and sometimes it’s caused by a persons power to choose. Many ask why was I created, why am I here? The simple answer is because God loves us and he created us to know us and for us to know Him. What does that mean? Before we were born God knew us, God loved us from conception till we return to Ash. God’s hope for us is for us to know and love Him. “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.” We are placed on this world with our feet in the sand. We are not alone in our walk. “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” “Keep steady my steps according to your promise, and let no iniquity get dominion over me.” Never do we understand all things, but we are called to a higher understanding. We will be tempted, we will be battered, and we will be beaten for our belief. Matthew 10:16-17 Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. But beware of men: for they will deliver you up to the councils, and they will scourge you in their synagogues;” We will fight the war on a spiritual level. We will be attacked for what we believe, we will be hated for it, and it may come to pass that we are placed on trial for it. Matthew 10:22 “And ye shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.” Do you have the strength to stand against the enemy, against the devil himself? Can you stand toe to toe and facing death choose eternal life? Never forget that this life will end one day with or without the help of the masses. Death is certain, it comes for us all, but in that death we can be certain when we die if we just believe in Christ as our Lord and Savior, we too will truly live. We shall not die an eternal death for we are saved by it.