Tag: Healing

The Forging of My Soul 

thearrowpreacher2 Comments

The Forging of My Soul 

In 2016 that bullet changed everything. In the spring of 2018 I embarked on a journey to find something. I didn’t know what I was looking for, but I knew I wanted friends, and I thought if I journeyed into the unknown, that friends would be what I’d find. I was wrong. I didn’t find friends at all on my odyssey, instead what I found was pain inside that needed to come out. While not all odysseys are the same, this one had a fire. I didn’t know it at the time, but when I was asked to make the fire, make it large, I didn’t know just how impactful the next few hours would be. See, I had been diagnosed with PTSD in the military. The memories I had were on two lines of track. The facts on one line of track, while the emotions on the other, but they didn’t connect. I could go through an event so robotically, so methodically, that it seemed as if I were a hardened police officer giving just the facts of the case to the press, but not showing a glimpse of emotion. The problem with this of course was the occasions in which the emotional side was triggered and I was left a pile of wet, soggy mess from a pool of tears, in which I sat. I didn’t know it at the time, but God had put me exactly where I needed to be. 

         The night cool, but clear. The stars shown, and while there was some light pollution, the smell of spring was in the air, and the night sky illuminated the ground. We had an event, that, for the protection of others who may embark on this journey, I will leave to the imagination, but ultimately, what I left next to that bon-fire that night was a whole bunch of pain and heartache. What I found was self-worth. I went to that odyssey a broken man. I hurt from my wife’s affair, and divorce. I hurt from years of abuse and betrayals. I was carrying everything with me, all the good, the bad and the ugly. I kept it in a ruck sack of my own making, and I was trying to journey up the mountain being over encumbered by so much extra weight. I had no idea I was carrying so much. I had no idea that much of my unhappiness stemmed from the hurt that all that was baring me down with. No wonder I wasn’t happy. No wonder I had so much pain and self-loathing. I truly hated myself for who I was. I saw myself as weak for crying. I saw myself as broken for having two wives cheat on me and leave me. I saw myself as unlovable. I saw myself as the common denominator for either choosing women who weren’t good for me, or pushing them to do awful things. Why was I so broken? Why did everyone leave me who I cared about? Everyone from my mother, my first love (For the sake of privacy let’s call her Sam). Sam would leave me and it would create in me a standard of women who wouldn’t stay. Every girlfriend I had after that, and two wives would leave me. That night by the fire, I realized something, sometimes people come and go in your life. Sometimes people fall to their own desires, and sometimes paths just diverge. Instead of carrying every bit of everything I would go through, I needed to be more selective about what it was I, with intention carried with me on my journey.

Isaiah 43:18-19 says this: 

18 “Do not call to mind the former things,

Or ponder things of the past.

19 “Behold, I will do something new,

Now it will spring forth;

Will you not be aware of it?

I will even make a roadway in the wilderness,

Rivers in the desert.

We must learn to be more like the Sword of Griffandor. Be strong, be forged in the sanctification of our Lord Jesus Christ. Allow Him to shape our hearts, and our lives to look like Him. We cannot be forged like this though if we hold onto everything of the past. We cannot see clearly God’s kingdom if we are constantly looking for it through the eyes of pain, hurt, heartbreak, jealousy, pride, and sin. Much like our vision becomes unreliable when we are drunk, to seek the kingdom of God we must be sober minded, and we must recognize these hurts, and face them. We must begin putting down on our journey up the mountain, all that does not make you better. All the hurt, the mistrust, the heartbreaks, the regrets, the doubts, the fear, the anger, the shame, the sadness, all must be dropped. Those giant boulders cannot remain in your pack for the journey. 

Standing next to the fire I saw something different. I could survive. I could move forward, with a lighter pack. Does this mean that in one instant everything is magically better? No, but it’s a start. I had a ways to go in my recovery, but during my Odyssey, I found the start of my new path. I went through my gear, and shed the weight I didn’t need for the journey. Now, many years later, I am a peer mentor for the odyssey program. Years later I still partake in many Wounded Warrior events, and I help serve that community the best I can. Finding my worth, and having self-value all started next to that fire so many years ago. Today, no matter where you are, you can find that in yourself also. This life is a journey, and offers the opportunity for the Lord to forge you. In order to make a beautiful sword, we must be heated, placed into the fire, and then we must allow the Lord to pound on us. Remove our impurities. Remove all that makes us weak and brittle. We must be placed into the fire over, and over again. We must go through the forging process and eventually be so clean, shiny, that the Lord can see Himself in us. We must train and become proficient in the word if we are to be swords in this life. We must hone our skills, and continue to keep the sword sharp and clean. We must continue our daily sanctification process, and allow the Lord to prepare us for battle. Do not allow rust to build up and destroy the once beautiful blade. Find faith in the Lord. Find your truth in His word, and be willing to let the Lord, King of the universe, to be Lord over your life. This life is a long journey, let us shed what we don’t need, the things that slow us down, the things that hurt us, and focus on the Lord, seek first the kingdom of God. How do we find the cure for anxiety? 

Matthew 33:25-34 The Cure for Anxiety

25 “For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? 27 And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? 28 And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, 29 yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! 31 Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ 32 For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

34 “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Go my friends, go seek God. Go, continue to climb that mountain, and lighten your burden. Go, and love God, love your neighbors, and without the sin of pride, love yourself. You are loved and valued by God. Let go of the sin that binds you. Let go of the hurt that binds you. Let go, and let God break those bonds, those chains that have kept you down. Start the healing today, and together, God and you will grow closer together, and you will find beautiful healing. Together, you can face tomorrow a different person. Together you can conquer that mountain. 

For More Christian Content:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV3r024gS2FRDIbpqnsDwWA

Jessica’s Blog 

https://peacenotfear.wordpress.com/

One Month Later 

thearrowpreacher2 Comments

One Month Later 

It’s been a month since my open-heart surgery. Not yet a month for the pacemaker, but we’re coming up on that in a week. I can’t say with honesty that the recovery has gone very well. With the initial severe pain in my neck and shoulders, then the pacemaker, and the severe pain in the left shoulder, then the infection, the pain from the lead left behind over my stomach, it’s been difficult. The drive home from the hospital was marred with trouble, when the car broke down smoking. This later cost me almost three thousand dollars to repair, funds I don’t have. Even now I’m still on antibiotics fighting an infection. After getting home I started to sleep in the recliner, because I could get in and out easier than a bed. Then there was a problem with the fireplace chimney, which only just got fixed yesterday the 20th. Now, were finding the heater isn’t quite as efficient as consumers are led to believe. The amount of pellets it takes in just a few hours is staggering. So much so, that in the middle of the night, I woke to 30* temperatures, because the heater ran out of pellets. Let us not forget the sprained ankle from walking laps in the house without shoes. Let’s say the recovery, and rest I was hoping for has been far off from me. If I had to take a guess, I’d say Satan was playing with me, causing issues to see what I’d do. Am I as strong as I say? Where is my breaking point? To be honest, I don’t know. I’d like to think I’m strong, but I know my flesh is often weak. To say I have not been frustrated would be to speak falsely. I have struggled with my cough, with my limitations of not being able to take care of myself. It’s not an easy thing to go from independent, to dependent overnight. It’s also a difficult thing when you are in chronic pain after surgery for a long period of time. While I have hopes that this pain will eventually dissipate, in the back of my mind, I am preparing myself for the possibility it does not go away and get better. Right now, simple things like walking, hurt my shoulder. If walking hurts, how will I go hiking, or photography, or lightsaber dueling? Will I be able to work around the house without having pain in my shoulder and chest? I already have to deal with the cervical spine pain I often feel, adding to it would be fairly miserable.

Jesus tells us to take heart, that He has overcome the world, and in this life we would have troubles, but to know there is better for us. I know that I will endure troubles, even if it’s not in the way of religious persecution, I know there will be difficult waters ahead. A few months ago I wrote this “Many years ago, the dark nearly took me. I fell overboard when a rogue wave hit the ship so hard it jeered and I flew overboard. I thought for sure the waters would take me, but somehow, the Captain dove in and pulled me up. He said, ‘Your sailing days aren’t done yet.’ No more words were ever spoken about it, but I knew the Captain saw something in me that day. Didn’t have to risk Himself for me, but ever since, it’s felt like He’s kept a special eye on me.” (The Best Captain, The Arrow Preacher, May 28,2024: https://thearrowpreacher.com/2024/05/28/the-best-captain/ ) 

I went on to say “He replied, “I am who I am. I am the way, the truth the life. I am the alpha and the omega. I am the Good Shepherd whom you’ve heard my voice. I am the Lion, and the Lamb. I am Emmanuel, I am Jesus, your Captain. And I’ve got you. Trust in me, and I will see you through to the end of the age, when I welcome you home, when we reach the shores of my Kingdom. You will then have rest. Till then, we’ve got work to do.” ((The Best Captain, The Arrow Preacher, May 28,2024: https://thearrowpreacher.com/2024/05/28/the-best-captain/ )

We must take each day as a gift, and while things may not be smooth sailing, trust that Jesus is still in control. He’s still at the right hand of the father interceding on your behalf, on my behalf. Satan is the real enemy, and he very much wants to destroy you, and damage your relationship with the father. What better way to make you so comfortable that you would give up Jesus for your comfort. Satan gives those what their heart desires, and sometimes God allows you to have what you truly want, and it looks like, and taste like the world. This is the only happiness some people will ever have, and they trade eternity, for comfort in this life. Would you still praise God with a gun to your head in an African country where the rebels seek to kill all Christians? Some people should think long and hard about where they truly place their heart. Me, as I said recently, I’m ready to go meet Jesus, but I know He’s kept me on earth for a purpose, and I’ll continue to fight the fight as His soldier, till the day I am called home.

Life is not easy, and it’s not meant to be easy. Jesus tells us it’s only by the narrow way, and few would enter it, to find salvation. The sad reality is not everyone will be saved, because they chose to follow their hearts flesh desires, and remain dead on the inside. They do not hear the calling of Jesus. What is it Jesus says? On that day many will come to me saying Lord, Lord, have we not prophesized in your name, and cast out demons in your name, done many works in your name? And Jesus replies, depart from me, you who practice lawlessness, I never knew you. What is your motive for preaching Jesus? Is it so people would look at you? Is it so you would get rich? Is it so you would have an ‘easy’ life? Indeed, the first thing you should say to Jesus upon facing Him, is Lord I am not worthy to be here, please forgive me, you are most high, and holy. It should be about the Lord, because it isn’t about us, it’s about what God does through us. It’s not about your pride, or my own pride, but rather what God works through your life, so HE gets the GLORY, not you. 

God has done such a mighty work in my life, it’s hard not to talk about it. There was a plan this fall to travel to the Philippines for Christmas. Had I gone, it was very possible my aorta could have ruptured and I die. Or my valve failed, and I died. Did God spare my family and friends the hardships of my death? See, I am not afraid of dying. I’m not opposed to it, and to be rid of this broken body, that’s always in pain. I’m not opposed to being set free from this life of poverty. I know however, my family and friends would be upset if something happened to me. God has a purpose in my life, and while I don’t know what that is, I know that I am to serve Him. I have a broad idea of what He wants me to do, and in part it’s this, writing, and doing my YouTube podcast. I have a place as head of my household to continue to be the spiritual leader. I have friends I minister to, and I help them navigate life in a Godly way. I may not be rich, or famous, and I may struggle financially, and I may live in a tent, but I know as long as I’m doing the Lords work, I will remain in His blessings, and my needs will be provided for. Make no mistake, while I do live in poverty, I do live in a tent, I make very little money in this economy, I cannot buy a new car, or purchase a home, I am still richly blessed. I may not live in a mansion somewhere, but I know that I have joy in my heart, for the Lord has blessed me with the miracle of life this Christmas. Can you count your blessings in your own life? Can you see what gifts God has given to you, that you could use to glorify Him? Are you seeking God with everything you are? Or, are you lazy, and apathetic about your walk with the Lord? We must rid ourselves of the worldly distractions, and focus on the Lord. So few of us read our bibles daily. So few of us pray without ceasing. When was the last time you prayed for others, and nothing for yourself? When was the last time you told anyone about Jesus? Do you adhere to the command to fulfill the great commission? To go and make disciples of all the nations and to baptize them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit? When was the last time you messaged your ‘friend’ you haven’t spoken to or checked on in months? We each have our own gifts, and we must learn to use those gifts to share Jesus with others. Why would we want to keep silent, knowing millions of people are headed for Hell when they die? Why wouldn’t we want to do what God has told us to do, and share the Gospel, the Good News, with anyone we can. I believe we can all do better doing this. I believe we must merely ask God to give us the spirit of courage we need, and to remove the fear we experience, to give us the strength to share Jesus with others. 

I have been saved many times by God, but this last one hits different. The path laid out nearly a year ago, that led me from one incident, to another, and another, and finally to open heart surgery is more than several coincidences. Remove any one of those stepping stones, and I don’t wind up at open heart surgery, and I could easily have died. One incident may be considered coincidence, but when you stack several in a row, that becomes a statistical improbability, so logic would dictate that there is a loving God, who looks after His sheep. There is a creator that designed this universe with care, and precision. There is an intelligent designer that is:

Omnipotence: God’s power to do anything

Omniscience: God’s knowledge of everything

Omnipresence: God’s existence in every place and time

We may not understand God’s ways, but He sees the entire photo, while we only see one small piece of the mosaic. We must learn to not only to obey God’s commands, but to trust in His plan, even when we don’t understand it. I do not know God’s plan for me, other than right now, I continue what I’m doing, but I do know, the more I walk with Him, the closer I’ll get, the better off I am, and the easier I’ll hear his message for me. I need to trust that if He wants me to do something, I must be willing to hear it. I do have faith in Jesus, that no matter if I’m in the middle of the storm, or if I’m lying on a beaching next to the ocean, or if I’m in the valley fighting for my life, Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to be right there with me. I also believe that we have Angels around us, invisible to us, to help minister to us. We cannot live our lives shaking our fist to the heavens asking why all the time. We cannot spend our lives angry at God, because some how we didn’t get our way. We cannot say what is good or bad, only how we act to stimuli. We must be faithful to God, and push away our temptation to sin. We must push away our lust of the flesh, and want of earthly treasures. We cannot allow money, or things, to become idols in our lives. We must not forsake our marriages for temporary flings. We must not forsake our family for work. The list of idols is long and could go on, but I think you get the point. We are to put away all our hate, and love of the flesh, with all malice. We must focus on God, and seek first His Kingdom. Are you ready and willing to make changes in your life to better serve God? Are you willing to take a look in the mirror and acknowledge your short comings, your sins? Are you willing to seek forgiveness in those you’ve wronged? Are you willing to ask forgiveness of a Holy God, whom you’ve sinned against? We must do more than just believe in God, for even the demons believe in God. We must obey God; we must love and seek God with all we are and all we have. We must study the bible without placing yourself in the story. We must properly study the Word of God, and do what’s called exegesis, rather than Eisegesis: the practice of interpreting a text by inserting one’s own ideas, biases, or agendas into it. We must be willing to forsake all other things, if He asked it of us. What are you willing to do to serve an all mighty and holy God? At the very least, are you ready to praise and worship the king of kings, and the lord of lords? Emmanuel with us, the Lion of Judah, the Prince of Peace, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. I am grateful to have been given life, and in the midst of the storm, the hard, long road, it truly is a hard fought hallelujah. 

For More Content, Follow Me On YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV3r024gS2FRDIbpqnsDwWA

Have a Fighting Heart

thearrowpreacher2 Comments

Have a Fighting Heart

There are nights we hurt, when the lies of the days, or the weeks have just gotten us down. There are years when we feel like no matter what we’ve done we aren’t good enough. There are years when we experience so much pain we don’t know how we’d ever be able to put ourselves back together. There are times when the bullies never stop, the attacks continue to come, and no matter how hard we try to run away from the pain it seeks us out, finds us, and breaks us into a million little pieces. The thing with trying to put yourself back together is you can’t. You cannot ever put together a broken heart, or a broken spirit because you didn’t make it. You don’t have the instructions so when you try to do it on your own, you’re without a doubt going to get it wrong. There’s an answer to how to fix the broken things in your life, and that’s Jesus Christ.

In my youth I struggled with bullies to the point where I cried to God to let me die in my sleep. I hated who I was, where I came from, and wanted nothing more then to hide and never be seen again. I know I wasn’t worth anything. I wondered if I ever could be loved, and I questioned how God could have made such a mistake in me. As years passed I slowly buried those feelings, and I found a fighting nature. I grew up placing my value in what other saw in me, and I missed the meaning behind the Gospels. I would watch as one person after another leave for one reason or another, and I would continue to pile that pain, all those rejections into the closet and dead bolted the door. I had no idea how to feel better, or what to do to fix my brokenness. I made mistakes, and sadly I would pay for them. I had the best of intentions to try and put humpty dumpty back together again but every time I tried there were chips and cracks that seemed to be spreading out further and further into my own psyche. Those cracks largely affected my self-esteem and as I watched one person after another leave I questioned my worth and my value to the point it very nearly killed me. There’s a important lesson to be learned in all of this however and that’s without Christ we are nothing. Without the love and grace given to us by God we would be hopeless in a dark world, condemned to an eternity of fiery torment and torture.

While I was driving to Church a new song I’d never heard before came on K-Love, Beautiful by MercyMe. The song seemed to come right through the radio and place a healing hand over my heart. The lyrics spoke to my cracked and fractured heart, and I realized, for so many years I had missed my healing all along. It’s not about how other see me, it’s how God sees me, and that God has given each and every one of us gifts, and talents to use, to bring His name Glory. We are so important to God, yet we don’t value ourselves very well. If you are sitting there reading this and if you believe you’re not worth anything, just take a moment to remember that Jesus Christ wants a relationship with you. You are made for so much more then you’ll ever know. God tells us in scripture that one hair on our head is more important the all the birds. We need to have the heart to fight because in this world of spiritual warfare we must not allow the lies of the Devil to break us down. The lies we are told are not truth, and we cannot keep them inside as if they were. We must rid ourselves of those negative hurtful thoughts, and remember that we are treasured by God and not one of us is created as a throw away. Every single one of us has a divine purpose by God. Every single one of us is given talents we must learn to use. Every single one of us is exceptional, and unique. We must keep our eyes focused on the Lord, and let the healing touch of Christ cover us like a warm blanket and remind us just how extraordinary we are. We all have a purpose and we aren’t alone in our walk. 1 Peter 4:11 (NKJV)11 “If anyone speaks, let him speak as the [a]oracles of God. If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belong the glory and the [b]dominion forever and ever. Amen.” In all things we do through our pain or our triumphs we must do it to the glory of God. If we are not using our gifts we are wasting them. We know that nothing goes to waist in our universe. Matter cannot be destroyed, just changed, so we know that we are here for a purpose. We can choose to waist our potential, or we can rise above the challenges and be something great before the eyes of God. To read more about the dangers of wasting your talents I urge you to read the parable by Jesus in Matthew 25:14-30https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+25%3A14–30&version=NKJV

 

Beautiful By: MercyMe

Days will come when you don’t have the strength
When all you hear is you’re not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart, they’d see too much

You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred
You are His
You’re beautiful

Praying that you have the heart to fight
‘Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you’ve held inside so long
They are nothing in the shadow of the cross

You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred
You are His
You’re beautiful

Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You’re the one He madly loves
Enough to die

You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
In His eyes
You’re beautiful
You were meant for so much more than all of this
You’re beautiful
You are treasured you are sacred you are his
You’re beautiful
You are meant for so much more than all of this
You’re beautiful
You are treasured you are sacred you are his

 

The Wound that Doesn’t Heal

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

The Wound that Doesn’t Heal

 

A long time ago the words couldn’t describe the storm inside. The memory etched into my mind, and in an instant the world as I knew it was tossed aside, and I left something of myself out on that battlefield. The piece I lost was taken from me, and even though I’ve tried, I know I won’t ever get it back. The face of evil was on that road, that dirt road where blood was spilt, and eyes were closed for the last time. The wound that never really heals, stays fresh, and I feel like some days I am lost in the movie that’s stuck on repeat.

I sit and I cry, the memory of that day rings in my mind. I’m afraid to close my eyes because I see it plain as day. The sulfur lingers in the air, and the dust settles revealing the nightmare we all dreamt about but never admitted. The anger built up inside me, and yet on the outside I was always calm and numb. The storm inside waged and with no words, no action, the struggle lingered on, rearing it’s head every year. The doubts I had, I questioned myself, I even hated myself for not doing more. It feels like I might explode with my anger, and yet I take the pain and I tuck it away.

The darkness that covered over me stayed for so long. In time a light arose and pushed the darkness away. I felt like I couldn’t deal with the pain. Some days I feel the cold darkness rising again. I think about going, and visiting, leaving flowers, but I’m afraid to go. I can’t bring myself to look down at the marble that now marks where you lay. I feel the anger, and I can’t face the pain inside. The world isn’t fair, and I hate it some days. I run away and I hide because I can’t face your name. The names etched into my mind, I can’t scrub them away. The bracelet I wear marks the day, and the ink on my arm shows the world, but only just a glimpse.

I fall to my knees and I pray. My failure that day, a premonition that rang true and the future was set. I search for meaning, I search for truth that seems so unfair, and it feels like I’m so far away from the me I once knew. How many son’s and daughters are gone, and lost, and how many tears have fallen down faces all around the world? We can’t turn back the clock, the blood spilt is gone forever. I wander the darkness unable to see, the light is far from me. The darkness inside takes hold, and in an instant I’m not me. How did the world turn out this way? Where was I on that day?

The darkest hour and the fall from so high feels like an eternity as it’s replayed in my mind. A blood spilt hallway, the torture in the hallways, the casket filled with a young man a best friend. Four draped flags, and then the loss of a love. The nightmare long past, a healing heart, then stabbed again. A heart ripped out and it feels like I was far from grace. The wounds from years past filled my mind, and flooded my chest with doubt, fear, and so much pain I couldn’t stand.

My God my God, I fall from grace and I pray you save me. I was lost and I hurt so much, it feels like you’re so far away. The world won, and I lost my way. I was weak and I cried out in pain, I paid blood for blood. I paid for my sins, and I don’t know what else to say. I reached for the black metal instead of your name. The cold steel in my hand won the day, and the pain inside realized in the most unimaginable way. I fell from grace, and I couldn’t stay. I felt so cold and lost that day. My God my God, I need you now, I need you today. My God my God, I don’t know what more to say, the memory inside just won’t go away. I know you’re good, and I know you’re here, but in the raging storm I can’t seem to face the day. How do I move on, and how do I stand here on faith knowing where I’ve been? How can I be trusted when I feel so much fear, and doubt? I have no doubt of who you are, I doubt myself. I can’t bring back what was taken from me, but I know that tomorrow I will wake and I have a new canvas to paint my picture. I can’t unmake my mistake, I can’t undo my pain, but I can learn how to use it. It doesn’t matter how far I’ve fallen, because your love and mercy tells me I’m not a lost cause. Your grace washes away my past and you make me a new creation. As I know who I am it feels sometimes I’m tethered to those failures of yesterday. Jeremiah 8:4 “You shall say to them, Thus says the Lord: When men fall, do they not rise again? If one turns away, does he not return?” I have fallen my Lord and I get back up. I have stumbled my Lord and yet I keep moving forward. Proverbs 24:16 “The righteous may fall seven times but still get up, but the wicked will stumble into trouble.” I keep your word in my heart, and I stand against the lies of the Devil. I find strength when I’m weak, and I find hope in my despair. Proverbs 14:32 “The wicked are crushed by disaster, but the godly have a refuge when they die.” I feel the weight of my sins, and I carry my cross but in your love and grace I’m not crushed by it. Though my sins are long I am saved by grace. Though my pain runs deep I am healed by love. 2 Corinthians 4:9 “We are persecuted, but God does not leave us. We are hurt sometimes, but we are not destroyed”.

I cry out to the Lord in my hour of need, I have heard your voice, and now I need to see. What is the path you have set for me? My God my Lord, I wait for the dawn. My Lord please part the clouds and bring back the sun. See me through this storm and keep me safe from harm. The pain I have is true and real. The hurt I have, like so many others, please take it and heal my heart. I’ve lost so much, and here I stand, at the foot of the cross with open arms. I trust in you, and I have faith. I’m tired and weary, but I carry on. Psalm 23 “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.[a] He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness[b] for his name’s sake.4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,[c] I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows, 6 Surely[d] goodness and mercy[e] shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell[f] in the house of the Lord forever.[g]” In my days of fighting this fight I prepare my heart and soul. I trust that this time will pass from me and one day I will look back on my life and know I fought hard in this life. Like so many before me, I pray for my path to ease, the fog to lift, and the sun to shine. I pray for peace, and I long for calm. I have been a faithful soldier and when my time comes, I pray in truth, the words of Paul. 2 Timothy 4:6-8 “For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.”

Return of the Hives

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Return of the Hives

Have you ever had something happen in your life over and over again? A few years ago I was diagnosed with chronic urticaria and angioedema. After years of trying to figure out the cause we came up with absolutely nothing. The solution came in the form of a monthly shot. This was not to cure the cause, only to subdue the effect. Whatever was causing the reaction to create the hives would be simply put, shielded. The histamines that were bursting from whatever was attacking them are shielded with the shot, and prevents the histamines from being destroyed. With the mistakes the VA created, my monthly shot was canceled and now after 3 months with no shot, the hives came back.

Have you ever been hopeful something came back? Have you ever wished for something to go back to normal? All we can do is pray for the return of the King. The King of all Kings God is always on the throne. Some day Jesus will return and that’s a return we can hope for and look forward too. While I battle these hives again, and might feel the strain of stress weighing on me, the faith in the Lord outweighs the frustrations of the worldly ailments.

Keep the faith and pray about the things that concern or bother you. You may never be rid of those things, but this life is only temporary, salvation is forever. Don’t give up hope.

A little love

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

A little love

Wake up in the morning and all you see is death and destruction on the TV. How do we stand the sights we see, and how do we keep living our live the same way? Someone asked me and said why would God allow such tragedies. Someone else told me Sin had nothing to do with this tragedy in Vegas, and that the Bible was a fictional piece of work written by man during a time period to control the masses. While I can argue a whole blog on the validity of the Bible and also Christ, this post will be about doing something. It’s time to stand up and fight back.

Tomorrow can feel to strong, it can feel crushing, and in those times you should fall back and take a breath, pray to Jesus and don’t worry about tomorrow, God’s already there. The Bible shows us the way, and just because we know the way doesn’t mean that path is an easy one to walk.

Waking up in the morning to heartbreak and death even if not related to us, can still affect us. During 9/11 I struggled holding back tears of sadness and anger. A few days ago when I saw the news about Vegas I was sick to my stomach. I had to remind myself that God’s still in control and no matter what happens, I have to understand the puzzle is bigger then me. I may never see or understand the hurt in this world. The only thing I can do is worship to my God that’s still on the throne. When the days are long and the road is still far, worship His holy name. His heart is kind and no matter the horrible things that happen God sees all, He feels all things and even in our suffering God is with us. 2 Corinthians 7:6-7 “But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, 7 and not only by his coming but also by the comfort with which he was comforted by you, as he told us of your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced still more.” Knowing that the Christ, the Savior of our sins came and bled and died for us. This should provide comfort knowing that tomorrow will come.

In our time of grief let go of the hate, let go of the fear, let go of the war mongering. Playing political cards for political gain isn’t appropriate. At some point a conversation will be had, but in the mean time, it’s time to heal. Ask God for guidance and allow room in your broken heart. When your heart is in pieces, and the darkness feels like it’s filling up your mind, when you need a helping hand, put a little love in your heart.

“If you want the world to know

We won’t let hatred grow

Put a little love in your heart

And the world will be a better place

And the world will be a better place

For you (for you)

And me (and me)”

“Think of your fellow man,

Lend him a helping hand!”

The world can be such a better place for you and me if we just love the love scripture speaks of. Love concurs all, and we just need to push past the hate, push past the lies the deceit and when we can do that we might be able to overcome some of the worlds problems. Put a little love in your heart.

22279259_10159298296620304_4133294_oNo matter if you’re feelin blue, always be true to you, gotta find some joy and happiness. When you’re feelin low take it nice and slow. When the days are hard, always take a start, and feel the love. Put it all away when your feelin gray, and put a little love in your heart.

 

 

The Healing Begins

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

The Healing Begins

As the last week has taught me tomorrows plan is nothing more then an idea. An idea that until the steps begin, the plan is nothing more then faint belief that we actually have control to stick to the plans. A neck brace and painkillers are the highlights of my day. As I begin to settle in to my new dwelling, I watch as one of my dogs goes round after round with a particularly brave, or stupid cat, I haven’t figured out which one yet. I have no idea what my new plan is, or what I’m going to do, but 6 weeks is a long time. 6 weeks before I can drive myself again, and 6 months before I’m back up to lifting strength, and that’s when the hard work will begin. I will have to find a way to get by in all these months without the use of my arms and back I’ve grown so accustomed to. When someone tells you, you will loose the use of something you use all the time, it doesn’t hit you right away, it takes time, it slowly seeps into your mind, and then when you need it, when there’s something you feel you have to do, but can’t, that’s when reality smacks you square in the dumbfounded face.

In retrospect I suppose I knew this day was coming. 7 years ago when my C7 disc bulged the first time and doctors told me I was looking at a fusion surgery then, I built up the idea of surgery for years prior, and now that it’s come I am finding this isn’t what I had in mind. I never anticipated being displaced from my home, being separated from my life, and watching as everything I knew and loved had been torn away, ripped apart, and set on fire. We never fully understand what we are or where we are going, but having faith in a God, the God, our God, that in the perfection of the light, the plan that has been set forth in front of us, albeit treacherous and full of toils at times, is designed to shape us, train us, forge us from the babies we start off being, to soldiers in a war that has been going on long before us, and last on far after we return to the dust. Being a soldier takes months of training, and sometimes longer. Being a soldier for Christ takes years of hardships, of biblical study, and maybe after we’ve learned much, seen a lot, endured hell, then perhaps we have grown enough in our faith to actually teach and preach towards those who need it the most.

A few months back I wrote a blog about love, and responsibilities as an adult Christian and what it means. “It means giving up that piece of yourself that must be in control, that must be held on to in order to protect yourself from harm.” (Arrow Preacher, Pass On What You Have Learned) Healing begins when you learn to love, and allow that love to be the deciding factor on how we treat others. We must learn to let go of the anger, the frustrations, and allow ourselves to be filled by the love of the Holy Spirit. The truth is in positivity, and even towards plans you make is has an affect. The natural energies of the universe producing the aura around us, invokes love or destruction. Find love in the places least likely to find it, even if it means you are the one that plants it there. In all things the greatest of things is Love greater then hope, and faith. Let God fill you, be your light in the darkness, and when all hope seems lost, remember love is the key, and when the seeds are planted with love what you plant shall grow and flourish.

 

Cut Away What’s Dead

thearrowpreacher2 Comments

Cut Away What’s Dead

When you prune a plant often times you need to cut away the dead leaves or limbs because the stuff that’s dying is pulling needed nutrition from the healthy parts of the plan. “When a forest grows too wild, a purging fire is inevitable and natural.” Ra’s Al Gul The purging fires in nature are needed from time to time to cut away what’s dead and give birth to new and green.

In our lives we know people who come and go, we have people who may only be in our lives for a short while before it’s time to cut them loose. Some people in your life become toxic and it’s tough to let go of those whom you Love, even when the people you love may be bad news. James 1:8 “8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.” Sometimes when we know someone the most, or even love, they may actually be, eventually, the person that needs to be cut away. Sometimes cutting away someone we love may feel like cutting off one of our own limbs. This however again, is sometimes what’s most needed in our lives.

In my own life I have held on because of fear and struggles to release those in my life that I with all of my heart loved. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they are good for you. As I have fought the fight to keep up relations as possible I have come to realize that in my efforts to preserve what I was holding onto, I have infested myself with considerable heartbreak and more pain and more suffering day in and day out. I have become a glutton for punishment as I have continued to try and see the good in people, but as I’ve done this my whole life I have come to realize now I cannot do this to myself any longer.

There are a few ways I believe we can cut things from our lives that do us harm.

 

  1. Leaving the door open as an option, but keeping distance and only allowing the door option as a last resort. There must be significant change and we don’t want to write someone off because God can fix anything, but we can’t just open the door blindly. We must look through the small peephole before opening that door to make sure who we are letting inside our home. Keeping your distance must be done. This means no calls, no texts, no emails, no Facebook stalking, no gathering Intel through friends or family. You must truly remove yourself from the equation and allow yourself to be free of the poison that ails you.
  2. Choose God before bad. Matthew 7:15 “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.” When we continue to allow those wolves to infiltrate our lives, dictate terms within our lives, we must ask ourselves what happens when we are in the war with wolves. One thing I hadn’t thought about until now is distraction. When we listen to God we are often placed in the right place when we need to be at the right time. However, if we are focused on the wolves, if we are focused on things that bring us pain and suffering, we cannot hear God, we cannot see the path when our own tears blind us.
  3. Fight the fight and bring into the fold. We must always remember that grace is not for us to give alone. We must always remember to forgive freely; forgiveness isn’t something to be earned. Love isn’t something that is lost because we don’t stop just because they become an enemy. Luke 10:3 “Go your ways: behold, I send you forth as lambs among wolves.” We know that as we spend time with the wolves we may get bit from time to time. This would be an occupational hazard. This doesn’t stop you from the mission. Everyone has the potential to redemption, and our mission is to continue to spread the Gospel no matter how good, or bad we see someone as. It’s not our place to pass judgment, it’s our job to keep everyone on the same platform and let God pass the judgment.

 

Everyone deserves the chance and the right to change. Everyone deserves the right to make up for past wrongs. This however doesn’t need to be given freely. Just because someone is deserved the right to change, doesn’t mean that trust has to be given blindly, and doesn’t mean people don’t have to earn the trust we give them. We may have to work for it ourselves sometimes, but nothing worth having in life comes without something in return. Our freedom comes at a price. Jesus died for the sins of all the people of the earth, but we have to burn away our old selves and we have to fight back against the sinful nature. This can sometimes be hard, but as nothing in this world worth while is easy, the challenge is to let go of worldly desires, let go of what weighs us down and blinds us from God’s plan for us.

Release the weights that hold you down. Do not allow yourself to be pulled under the water by the dead weight. Do not allow yourself be choked by the weeds growing up around you. Every now and again purging fire must happen. Never easy for us to let go of things we care about, possibly the hardest thing we may ever do in our lives. Eyes wide open to God, and don’t loose sight of the forest through the trees.

 

 

 

 

The Smallest Gestures

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

The Smallest Gestures

Walking through the mall minding my own business I was aware of my surroundings. I could see the looks on people’s faces to get to where they had to go, to shop their little hearts out. Christmas was coming and everyone was focused on the task at had. Me on the other hand I was focused on making sure they stayed safe. I was hyper stimulated to remain vigilant. Nothing was going to happen in my mall as long as I had a say in it. I could see the child in front of me as I walked up on the family. The mother smiled as I approached. Her child stepped out in front of me and put her arms wide open. I knelt down and allowed her to hug me. “Thank you for keeping us safe.” The little girl said. I hugged her back and said it was my pleasure. I told her Merry Christmas. I looked up at the mother who said thank you. She grabbed the little girls hand and went along their way. I carried on my day, a little brighter then I had before. A small gesture of kindness from a small person reminded me you don’t have to be big or do big things to make an impact.

The small gestures or acts of kindness are fleeting from our society, or at least that’s the way it looks from this bloggers perspective. If you hold the door for someone, how many people will thank you for it? Now this is a tough test because some cities have a more hospitable nature then others. The other day I was at church. I was standing there during the invitation (it’s a Baptist church) and as I looked up my best friend and associate pastor was walking towards me. He put his arm around me and began to pray for me. At first I didn’t question it I just listened to his prayer for me. This was highly unusual, but the thought and sentiment behind it nearly took my breath away. I was trying to hold back tears. What a wonderful sign of affection. Husbands that bring home flowers, or the wife that make breakfast in bed. The notes that loved ones share in each other’s lunch boxes, all these things are the smallest gestures that can go a long way.

These days as there is so much hate in the world, now after two terrorist attacks in the UK in these many weeks, Love it seems is more important than ever. Luke 12:7 “Why, even the hairs on your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” When you think about this verse and find that the author is saying one single hair on your head is so valuable it’s worth more then several birds. If God finds our presence that valuable then so shall it be. If the big things we do in the name of Christ is that important imagine that all of the smallest acts of kindness and love are also important. A smile, a hug, a phone call, or even just a message to tell a friend you are thinking of them and care. These small things can mean the world to someone in need. Believe that if everyone was so busy with their life to do these small things very little would actually get done. “The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.” Oscar Wilde The slightest gesture of love may go a long way to provide hope that otherwise wasn’t there. We don’t need to wear capes to be a hero. We don’t have to fight off an entire army, or cure a rampant plague, in the words of Christopher Reeve, “I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” Every day we are able to look beyond ourselves. Every day that we think to lift up those around us by even the smallest acts of kindness we could be a hero to them. What may seem small to us may be huge to them. We can’t judge what is going on inside of someone else. Asking to pray for someone in time of need, giving a firm hug, or even just a text to say hello may be enough. “One thing I’ve learnt about humans: you can’t judge their strengths by the size of their actions, but by the devotion of an act, no matter how small.” Dianna Hardy

 Last year I was in the hospital for a few weeks. Just a couple days after getting admitted I woke to someone coming in and telling me I had visitors. I expected it to be someone from the church but the truth was 10 of my friends, brothers and sisters, colleagues from the military from all over the country where standing around my bed side. The overwhelming feelings of joy, sadness, shame, guilt, but above all hope, kept coming and coming. I was loved and I was being shown it. I was being shown how my friends thought of me, and what they would do to make sure I was okay. My faith and hope in people was renewed that day. I was lifted up and shown the goodness that can still be in others. Since then I have found the smallest of gestures make a big impact on me. Those impacts resonate now at a much higher level then they used to. There are two quotes that I’m reminded of. “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, and honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo Buscaglia. The last is “There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” Edith Wharton.

It’s not hard to let someone cut in, in traffic. It’s not hard to hold the elevator or the door. It’s not hard to tell someone they look nice. It doesn’t take much time to send an uplifting text to a friend you haven’t heard from in a while. In this day in time we have so many ways to communicate, and do nice things why do we let slip the opportunities to show Gods grace to all. 1 John 3:18 “Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.”

In the Bible there are countless stories about small random acts of kindness that led to huge events. Rebekah watered a strangers camel’s and ended up being the mother of Jacob entering the lineage of Christ. Ester’s kindness to the King, which ended up playing a roll in saving her people, and David’s act of taking his brothers food to the front lines, this is where he fights Goliath. These small things, almost insignificant at first glance wouldn’t have made most people stop and think, but put them in the right place to make huge impacts on the lives of those around them. What little things can you do day to day that can make drastic change? You certainly won’t know until you start, and let history decide the rest.

Finding Happiness

thearrowpreacherLeave a comment

Finding Happiness

This seems to be a pursuit that most people are on for the vast majority of their lives. It’s strange how hard it is. We often look for happiness in items, in trinkets or people. I have always struggled with this aspect of my life. Even when I have everything I could ever need, I am always looking towards the horizon. I guess a part of me always felt to be happy meant to be improving my situation, making more friends, finding more people to talk to, always building my marriage. I guess I could have been considered to be Debby Downer for at least a good portion of the time. What is it I was seeking I wonder, what was it that kept me looking for more? The truth is there was something missing in my life, Jesus. When I realized I hadn’t given myself up to the Lord, not completely, by the time I did it was too late, my life, as I had known it was over. I put so much into my worldly possessions, my wife, my home, my job, and my friends, that in one big event, my very foundation cracked and toppled my own personal city. The changes in my life would be abrupt and violent. They would reshape my personal universe and it would never be the same again.

What’s the trick though to finding that happy place? In Peter Pan it’s finding a happy memory, one memory that stands out of pure joy to hold on to. Even in the midst of so much pain and anguish we are surely able to come up with something. One thing I’ve found is we place so much on the world, that we forget this isn’t the end. Sure we don’t want to be miserable day in and day out either, but it’s more about the mission, the journey, the race, then it is about today. When we change our mindset to the present, the mission Jesus gave to us, and we take heed to the lessons Christ taught us and the teaching of the disciples, we will find that happiness is rejoicing in the Lord and the Lord alone. There will be trouble but in that trouble we can use those times to show the kind of person we are. We can make those horrible situations into a teaching lesson for others, and show how God wants us to behave even when the odds are stacked against us, even when their looks to be no worldly hope, because to say there’s no hope is a lie. There were many times when King David had the odds stacked against him, but it was through the grace of God that he emerged victorious. Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” It’s not an easy thing to be content when you’re in suffering. It’s harder to find happiness in the midst of want and destruction. Philippians 4:11 “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” Human nature is to want and want more, want what we can’t have, and often take what we want even if it’s not ours to have.

2 Timothy 3:1-7 “3 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. 6 For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, 7 always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.” When we go through life taking what we want no matter the consequences we find ourselves destroying the very fabric of order in the world. I was recently the victim of something like this. With no limit to the amount of pain one feels when something near and dear to them is taken away, alas the pain is more when it’s done so by more then one party. The sad truth is greed and desires of the worldly flesh now resonate with the world. Paul Harvey did a report on ‘If I was the Devil.” During this little expo he noted that if he was the Devil he’d convince the world that drugs are okay, that swinging is more fun, that hard work is no longer the wave of the future.

I think the pursuit of happiness falls within each moment. I believe that to truly find it you need to learn to change your mindset away from the pain and suffering and embrace them. How we embrace our pain is hard. How we find contentment even in the center of the worst storms we may face is never an easy task. For every situation however there must be at least something that is positive, there must be at least some light at the end of the tunnel. We often spend so much time focused on the negative part of a tough spot that we fail to look at the positive situations and be thankful for them. For me this has been a long hard struggle and I am by no means perfect at this, but everyday I try to work towards this goal. Am I happy every day and do I find joy in my sufferings, of course not. But what I do find is a little bit of peace knowing that God is in control over everything I am going through, and when others hurt me, or forsake me, I know that God has not. People will say and do mean things to you for a variety of reasons, each more plausible as the next. As much as it hurts that trust and loyalty may be broken, know that through this situation you will learn, you will grow, and you can make your tomorrow a better place. When a forest grows to big purging fires must take place in order for the forest to grow back and regain some of what was lost. Our lives it seems are much in the same. Sometimes we must let go of the baggage that weighs us down. We must learn to let go of people who are always bringing us down. Now, I will say this, when I say bringing us down, I don’t mean people who are going through rough times. What I mean by that is when people actively say things to you to bring you down, or are negative and hurtful. If someone is not actively trying to be there for you, to lift you up, to help you get out of the hole you’re in, those are the people you don’t need around anymore.

Don’t fall victim to your own pain, don’t let your pain or your own struggles from finding the happy places in your life. When we truly embrace and accept that bad things will happen, and truly embrace the fact that God is sovereign we can let go of many of the pessimistic views we once held. We all loose friends, we all loose our jobs, our families, our loved ones; it’s a matter of life following its natural evolution. Be glad for the positive things you can take out of your memories, and cast away the sorrows. Don’t let life pass you by in misery; it’s too short to do so. Don’t be a slave to this world. Don’t let the world dictate who you are. The world cannot define you, only you can do that. You have the power to show the people around you how you handle each situation, and in every case you are the only one who can show who you are. As one of my favorite quotes go, “It’s not who I am underneath, it’s what I do that defines me.” (Batman Begins)