Tag: gospel

Faith

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Faith

I’ve talked about faith a lot on this website. Faith is something we each have, even if we don’t realize it. Those who talk against the Christian walk, in support of the sciences have faith. Those who claim to be atheists have faith. Those who claim to be agnostic have faith. Faith is the believing in something without all the proof. Merriam Webster says this “belief and trust in and loyalty to God”, “firm belief in something for which there is no proof”, “Complete Trust”, 
 “something that is believed especially with strong conviction”. You see, faith, is had by everyone, it’s simply a matter of defining what they believe. 

Many believe a Christians faith is misplaced, or it’s based on poor evidence. Sadly, this assertion is simply far from the truth. It’s been said that the faith needed for the big bang, or evolution is far greater than that of the Christian walk. There is less evidence for those things, than there is of the Christian faith. Even the other religions pale in comparison to evidence, and some have little to no evidence at all. I will not be getting into each of these things and why they lack evidence, but I encourage you to do some deep dives. For Christians, there are a few people who’ve done extraordinary work on this and I will be talking about some of them. 

The Bible expresses faith is this, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the [Evidence]conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

We do not walk blindly into the night, or at least many of us don’t. When I say us, I mean those who do this for a living. Those who study the faith, study scripture, and preach it and teach it regularly, have usually done deep dives into the, testing the integrity of the Bible, the dependability of the scriptures, the trustworthiness of the eyewitnesses that spoke on Christ. These things lend to our faith being strengthened, and in many cases fortified in its indwelled truth of what is written in God’s word. Simply put, the Bible is reliable, and has stood up to scrutinizing people for centuries, in fact, for a little over 2000 years now. 

My personal faith: Growing up in the Catholic church, I felt a strong connection to church. I didn’t have some of the usual catholic ideals pushed on me, so it wan’t till older in life I heard of such things. I did not hardly ever touch my rosary. I very seldom heard the ‘Hail Mary’. I did however do the other sacraments, of confession, confirmation, and first communion. One other thing I heard growing up was praying to the saints for intercession of our needs. When I got older, I became confused. The Bible says this, Romans 8:34 34 “who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us.” And in 1 John 2:1 “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous;” and in Hebrews 7:25 25 “Therefore He is able also to save forever those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them.” 

I didn’t understand, so, was I supposed to pray to the saints? Was I supposed to pray to Mary? The more I studied my Bible, the more I became convicted, some of the things I thought were right, didn’t seem right anymore. As I got back into church, the first church was an Episcopal church, where women were priests. This raised another slew of questions for me. I had often wondered if the Catholic church was correct forcing celibacy on priests, but this was something entirely different. This, allowing women to preach, was this in scripture? Scripture says this 1 Timothy 2:12 “But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet.” It seems women were not supposed to be priests, or for that matter preach the word to a room of men. The caveat of course is we know Pricilla helped in the teaching of a prominent teacher (Apollos). This shows us that woman can teach kids, and even help evangelize for Christ. But not to have a role preaching from the pulpit. 

As I got older and continued to grow, a few men came into my life that helped me study scripture. They did not just give me their opinion; in fact, it was quite the opposite. “The opinions of man are smashed on the anvil of the Word of God” Charles Spurgeon. What was taught was pure scripture. As I grew in understanding, my faith also grew. The more into the word I got, the greater and stronger my faith became. I began to see where my old opinions began to die, along with my old assertions to what was true. The more into scripture I got, the more the idea that I grew up sorely lacking crept into my life. IF that Catholics had it wrong, what was right? The answer was actually pretty simple. Ephesians 2:8-9 “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; 9 not as a result of works, so that no one may boast.” For I, me, the Arrow Preacher, is saved by grace, through faith. Like the serpent held high by Moses to allow the Israelites to be saved, they must look upon it and have faith. We must look up to our Christ Jesus on the cross and have faith of who He was, and what He died for. Our messiah, Our Lord. It was in that moment I realized there was a doctrine that lined up with scripture, and as I was taught, this doctrine would become the hill I’d be willing to die on. This doctrine is called “The Five Solas”: 

Sola Gratia – Grace Alone

Sola Fide – Faith Alone 

Solus Christus – Christ Alone 

Soli Deo Gloria – Glory of God Alone

Sola Scriptura – Scripture Alone

Made easy, we are saved by Grace, in Faith, through Christ, for the Glory of God, and our only source of knowledge and truth is in scripture. For more on this you can read here at Ligonier Ministries. 

https://learn.ligonier.org/articles/what-are-the-five-solas

My faith grew because I was learning from the Bible alone, and because I was reading God’s truth, I began to see many of the doctrines I was taught growing up had actually led me astray. But my faith having been put to the test in 2016 came out stronger, and continued to grow in strength. 

In 2016, a couple days after I discovered my ex-wife was having an affair, I was sitting in church alone. I was sitting in a spot I never sat before, I was sitting in the pew a broken man. My everything was shattered. I heard the preacher talk, and the Holy Spirit rested over me, convicting me of my brokenness. Showing me that I had but one thing to do. The question came into my mind, “What if I gave everything, what if I gave you everything, what if I stopped holding back everything from you?” I walked the isle that day, tears flowing from my face before I got to the pastor. I was ready to surrender and give it all to Jesus. I was ready to lay my shame out there and walk out of that sanctuary a new man. That broken man, broke down upon the alter, tears flowing uncontrollably from his face. Crying out to the Lord to take over, to change him. He didn’t want to be that many anymore. A week later I had a brush with death. My wife was leaving, taking with her half of everything. She was taking with her 100% of our family. In my loss, and added a little liquid death (alcohol), I sat on the front porch and watched her and her sister pack the car. In my despair I put a pistol to my shoulder and pulled the trigger. I was experiencing a major break in the internal walls I had built to hold all my traumas. Everything passed by my internal eye like movie clips, showing me each of my traumas and failures. I was experiencing a tsunami effect, years of compartmentalization coming back to haunt me. I couldn’t take the failure in my brain, and the pain I felt, needed to be matched with an equal amount of physical pain. I was not looking to die, but to feel, to stop the emotional pain, to reset the onboard computer. I thought my fate was sealed, and that pistol sat upon my shoulder for just a few seconds before I pulled the trigger. What I saw that day stays in my mind, vividly. The blood splatter, the screams, the oxygen leaving my body, and in less than a few moments, nothing. The world was black, it was a void, nothing above me, or below me, nothing I could see, and no light but just a bit from myself. In my fear, in my despair, I cried out to God, “God, I’m sorry.” I expected nothing. I looked for nothing. I expected to die and this was the end of my life, a void of nothing. But that’s when I heard it. A voice came from the darkness shaking the very bones of my body. “You’re forgiven” was all the words said. It felt like being inside a lightning bolt. How much the ground shakes when a bolt is close, was nothing in compare to what I felt. My whole-body shook, as what felt like a lightning bolt hit me. I awoke in the ambulance surprising the paramedics, who believed I’d die before reaching the hospital. The pain my body was in, I wanted to return to what I knew was God. But, much like the words of Gandalf in “Two Towers” “I’ve been sent back, at the turn of the tide.” Why had God sent me back and not just taken me home? 

While I was justified that Sunday September 11th, 2016, my sanctification process would come in a very real metaphorical dumpster fire. I would have to rely on my faith and what little scripture I knew to start getting me through the next 10 months. The divorce and separation were messy to say the least. My faith however was growing in the Lord. It was not a blind faith, but one built upon the Lord’s truth. The Apostles would die, die horrible deaths fueled by hatred and torture, they died never once recanting their eyewitness accounts. Who dies for a lie? People die all the time for a lie, but not one they know for sure is a lie. Jesus could not be a good man, if He wasn’t who He said He was. If He lied, He’d not be a good man, because good men don’t lie. When we see the Apostles were all in hiding at His crucifixion, why the sudden change? Why did they go from petrified cowards, to be willing to get put into jail over and over again, and even horrible deaths. What did they see? They saw the very real risen Christ. Why did Jesus have 12 Apostils? Representing the 12 tribes from the Old Testament. Jesus chose men, no one would choose to change the world. Their eye witness counts would stand the scrutiny of those who truly study it. Men like J. Werner Wallace, Lee Strobel, and Josh McDowell, Sean H. McDowell, have given us the work, the unbiased, or rather, atheist bias, of the scriptures, and the truth of the scriptures turned Wallace, and Strobel into believers. From atheist to believer in the process of disputing and attempt to disprove the scriptures, yet, now, they believe Jesus was who He said He was. 

Myself, I grew up believing parts of the Bible but not all of it. I very much believed in Theistic evolution (also known as theistic evolutionism or God-guided evolution), alternatively called evolutionary creationism, is a view that God acts and creates through laws of nature. I tried to mix the science I grew up with, and the faith I had. This was folly however, as I would come to believe, I had been wrong my whole life. Through my studies with my mentors, and even the Christian University I attended, I found, I was wrong. I truly had been broken down to the bedrock, and rebuilt in Christ. I did not know why Jesus saved me that day, but it wasn’t an easy road. Truly, I laid all my hopes on the table and all my sins were forgiven. I had been washed by the blood, and Jesus saw to rebuild me. My faith in Jesus that September 11th would change my life forever. The day I put that 9mm through my shoulder, I would truly be reborn, because the life I was living had been touched by the hand of God. In my investigation, I found I was never shocked by the paddles, so the electricity I felt, could not have been the defibrillator, but the hand of God. God saw fit, to drastically and dramatically alter my life. 

Over the next year God would put me where He wanted me. I’d have emergency neck surgery and God would bring me through that as well. I’d go through (WWP) Project Odyssey, which began to help with the trauma I had experienced in my life. I’d go through DBT (Dialectical behavior therapy), which is a structured therapy that helps people learn to manage their emotions and change their behaviors. I’d go to another (WWP) Wounded Warrior Project, a Soldier Ride, in which I met a man that changed my path. He expressed his opinion, my path was that of ministry. I laughed at him. I was to broken, too lost in my life to get into ministry. My faith, was tainted by my own self-doubts, my own self-loathing, that hadn’t been purged from me completely yet. I’d later experience a weekend with God, in a program called Lamplighter, and that was the last major even that would change my course, to, you guessed it, ministry. My faith, which was being shown, my life was meant to trust in God, not just during the good times, the easy times, but the hardest of times. My faith was being forged in the trials of life. My walk with God was being shaped through many hardships, and my faith was growing in strength. 

Since then, I have experienced many hardships in my life. I’ve experienced loss, and heartbreak. I recently had yet another brush with death, but many consecutive miracles. For those I would like to have you read 

The Week My Heart Stopped

and 

One Month Later 

These posts highlight what I went through. They highlight the events I believe to be miracles in my life. This doesn’t mean I don’t struggle. What it does mean, is the path of a Christian is not an easy one. I have grappled with tough things, just in the last couple months. I was not convinced having open heart surgery, or even the pacemaker surgery, was the right decision. It would have been easy for me to say I was ready to go home. It would have been easy for me to give up this life, but I needed to lean upon my faith to justify staying here longer. I highlight this fight in the blog post, 

Why Do You Keep Fighting? 

In reality, I fight for those I care about. I fight to continue spreading the Gospel of Christ to as many people as I can. My faith, while strong, doesn’t mean I haven’t questioned my choices. It doesn’t mean I haven’t spoken to God about this, but in the end, I am still here, and I’m still leaning upon that faith, not of my own understanding. I don’t exactly know why God saved me, so all I have is my faith. I trust in the Lord, and I expect He will guide my path. He will walk with me, and if He chooses to reveal any details about why I’m still here, I’m sure He will. When I doubt, I know it’s the liar, the deceiver, whispering in my ear. I recognize his vial speech within my deep thoughts of denial, and strife. The power that raised Jesus is the same power that lives within me. The same faith that made David step out onto that battle field with a few smooth stones, the same faith that Gideon had when he fought the Midianites. The same faith Daniel had to pray openly, and face the lions. The same faith Peter felt when he stepped out of the boat in the storm. The same faith that Paul had that led him through various trials, but most important was the first choice to go from hunting Christians to being one of them. This is the faith that rests within me. 

I am not a perfect man, and my faith isn’t perfect. I am not a finished product, and in my weakness He is strong. I do however sin, and I must repent of those sins. I need to seek forgiveness when I do sin, and believe the blood of Christ will wash me clean. I do not mean to sin, my faith does not give me a free license to sin, but when I do, I know Jesus picks me up, puts me back together. See…. The truth is, when I am shattered, and I’m broken, and I know I have wronged a Holy God; when I am hurting, I do not want to be put back together the same. I want God to change me through these experiences. When I go through these things, I have faith that God is using it to bring me closer to Himself. I want my life to be sanctified in Christ, and therefore I do not want be the same today as I was yesterday. I pray to God that my yesterday is gone, and today is a new opportunity for me to get closer to Him. My faith has never come back empty. While I don’t always get what I want, I get from God exactly what I need. Faith in Christ is not a blind faith, and we see in scripture the truth, that this life will not be easy for a Christian. It is not meant for wealth, and fame, and peaceful living. The truth is, we are soldiers on the battlefield for Christ, and our faith is, we know we are fighting for good. Everything we experiences forges us into a stronger soldier. We can resist Satan because we have faith and trust in the one true King, Jesus Christ. Jesus gives us all we need, and in our faith in Him, we can rejoice when we are beaten, rejoice when we reach the mountain top, and rejoice when we are laid by the peaceful streams. Our faith tells us that the battle is won, and we can trust in Christ in all we do. My faith tells me that one day I will be called home, but till that day comes, my faith will remain true.

Let us not put our faith in the wrong places. Let us be careful and cautious with whom and what we place our faith. Let us not put faith in our heart, for it is deceitfully wicked. Let us not put our faith in idols, or even people. Let us test everything, and ensure it comes from the Lord. Have faith in Jesus. Let us go, and make disciples, showing them why our faith is true. Let our faith guide us to dig deep in scripture, learning, growing, and let our faith teach us how to fight for the truth. Let us understand apologetics (the defense of our faith), and be able to know scripture, to withstand the external scrutiny. Not everything you read on the internet is true. Not everything on Instagram or TikTok is true and accurate, and it’s yours and my job as a Christian to decern the truth. The only truth that matters is what’s in scripture. Hold fast to your faith, and don’t let the world deceive you. Go in the peace and love of Jesus Christ. 

For more content on faith you can read: 

Where is YOUR Faith?
Making the Leap of Faith
Build Your Faith on a Solid Foundation
Build Faithful Wealth
Leap of Faith
Simple Faith

For more content you can follow on YouTube: 

https://youtube.com/@thearrowpreacher6920?si=wvVC80iHWsSSkRY1

Currently going through the Gospel of John. 

Abba

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Abba

The days come and go, and while they do, all I can do is manage my actions in each instance. In my life as I have experienced one major trial after another, I have grown closer to God. I have no control over tomorrow, all I have control over is how I respond. Is the way I respond glorifying to God? Does how I respond bring pleasure to my Abba Father? When I face Christ at the judgment seat, I have no excuse to give. While I am preparing for the biggest surgery of my life, I have to face the truth up front. 

I have often looked back in the recent days, at my life. My days of military service has been on my mind. I look back at my injuries and wonder if they are the result of a gene that caused this bicuspid valve. My knee injury in 2005, was this a result in a weakened muscle group? What about the three hernias I’ve had; are they a result of this gene? While I will not likely get an answer to this, I know that regardless of the cause, I must handle and manage my emotions, my responses and actions, in the midst of these trials. 

I was told recently that my relentless positivity is enjoyed. I have not felt very positive recently due to the amount of tears I have shed. I have tried to maintain a positive outlook, and while I stumble, I am picking myself up. My emotions have been intense recently. As i get older I find myself more accepting of Gods plan. Tomorrow is already written, and I cannot alter God’s plan. Yes we have our free will as far as how we respond to stimuli. God gives power, God gives opportunity, God gives us choices. Do we take the fruit or not. Do we scream, or talk in a calm edifying voice? Because I am becoming more aware of myself, and where I fit in to this world, I find myself more at peace. 

Peace in life despite the absolute hardships I have endured, is not due to my own actions, but a change within my heart, a gift from the Holy Spirit. The Spirit is where true Godly change comes from. While I was in Iraq, during the ambush on September 12th, while being shot at and attacked, I felt peace. Explosions were going off around me, RPG’s flying all over, barely missing my truck, I felt peace. When the Mk-19 failed and my gunner had to use his M-16, with no cover, I was at peace. When it looked like we may be stopped, and if we stopped we’d be an easy target, I was at peace. This peace resembles what I feel today. Where does this peace come from? It’s either the Holy Spirit, or an angel by my side, or both. We know that God sends the angels to minister to believers. We also know that the Holy Spirit rests within the hearts of believers. How can I be at peace? No matter what I’m going through, I know God is still on His throne, and in control over my life. I just have to relinquish control to God. I need to let Him take the wheel and sit back and do what I’m commanded to do. My life, I must focus on God first. Then, I must take care of my family, and friends. I must do my blog, and podcast, because God has given me a platform to share the Gospel. So, what is the Gospel? 

The Gospel is the good news of Jesus Christ. The Gospel is we are sinners and we must recognize this. We must look to Jesus and believe. We must look to Jesus, believe, and obey his commandments. What is the first commandment? Mark 12:30-31 30 and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” We must recognize the need for a savior because our heart is wicked. Our souls are filthy, and there is nothing we can do to fix or change this. Jesus, is the only one capable of cleansing our hearts. We are sinners, and the wages of sin is death. Romans 6:23 “23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” We are not forced into this decision, and therefore, God sends no one to Hell. Our nature does that, and there are no repentant or sorrowful people in Hell. They continue to hate God, and like I have used in the past, they are like Anakin on the edge of the lava field, yelling at his friend, his brother, “I hate you”. We are wicked, and our nature is total depravity. We are born this way, and the proof is found within young children. We do not have to teach them to hit their parents. We do not have to teach them to lie about simple things. We do not have to teach them not to share. We can see the nature of a child is to be rebellious. As a prominent pastor once said, “vipers in diapers.” Our sin nature is on display in children, and we must teach them to tell the truth, to share, not to hit. We are blessed that God is merciful and does not cast down judgment right away for our transgressions. We are blessed that God’s love gives us a chance to believe in Jesus as savior. 

Growing up I found peace in God’s house. I went to a Catholic Church and while I now disagree with much of the Catholic church’s teaching today, I had a strong feeling about God, and feeling comfortable in the church, I often didn’t want to go home. Church was my safe space. I attended the adult sessions, and I found myself fascinated by Jesus, and I wanted to know everything I could. As I got older I drifted a little, but still held my faith in Jesus and God. I considered myself a good Christian, in fact for a while I called myself a good Catholic. In reality, I wasn’t, but at the time, I didn’t know that. When I returned to the US, I found myself going to an Episcopal church. I felt like I fit in at church. Within a year I moved to North Carolina and eventually found myself a small town Baptist church. In reality this small town church saved my life. My eternal soul was on the line, and what I was missing was actual biblical teaching. I couldn’t see it, but I had a head knowledge of Jesus, but not a heart knowledge. At the time I would have probably fit in with the Matthew 7 crowd, where Jesus says depart from me. I grew up with Catholic beliefs and it was works based. I completed my communion, I completed my confession, and I thought that meant I was good, and I was saved. Sadly, I believe many think this and may be eternally doomed because of it. Over time I learned it wasn’t about what I had done, but rather, it would be something the spirit does within me. I must have repented and believed in Jesus. Only then would the spirit change my heart from stone, a dead man, to a heart of flesh, a living man, reborn in Christ. It wasn’t that the Baptist church was superior, but it merely taught the Bible. It was never about the things I had done, it was always about my heart and where I placed my hope. I can remember the day. I was in crisis as my home was falling apart. I had continued to try and do things my own way, and I was never worried about asking God, or even doing it His way. It wasn’t till I had reached rock bottom in my life, that I realized I needed God. I didn’t just need Him for that particular Crisis, no, I needed God for everything I do in my life. I needed God’s forgiveness, His sovereignty, His grace, and Mercy. I needed to learn to be like Christ and the only way to do that was to surrender my life to Him. It was then, I found my path, and what God wanted me to do. I would preach and teach His word. I would dive in and stay swimming in the holy scripture. I would focus on God in my life in every aspect of it. Whatever you eat or drink, what ever you do, do for the glory of God. I found my purpose in this world, and it’s to praise the Lord, to worship the Lord, and to share His Holy Gospel every chance I get. Even though my life has been difficult, and especially difficult since 2016, my living in a tent full time, my needing open heart surgery, the loss of friends, I am more at peace than ever before in my life. My belief in Jesus isn’t just a blind belief, but one based on incontrovertible evidence. All the evidence points to Jesus Christ being who he said he was. No one, not one single person dies for what they know to be a lie. If it were a lie, and Jesus didn’t rise from the dead, one the few people who followed him would have stopped if he didn’t rise. Two, the people who followed him, would not have knowingly, and willingly died gruesome deaths. The miracles that came from Christ, and then those from his closest followers, would have been ousted as a lie, and Rome would have destroyed the movement. Because what Jesus did was true, and he was the Son of God, the long awaited messiah, the movement known as “the way” survived, and now thrives. Jesus fulfilled every prophecy and the odds of one man doing that is impossible, but because he is who he said he is, it’s truth. No one, not even his enemies refuted the miracles he performed. Only that he claimed to be God. And if he hadn’t performed the miracles, and claimed to be God they would not have been able to crucify him under the law, but because he is who he said he is, he indeed died on the cross, was buried, and indeed rose again, since his body was no longer in the tomb. For which, the Romans searched for, attempted to ascertain the truth. But, Jesus was gone, no longer buried in a cold, rock tomb, but risen. Christ would show himself risen to the world. He would make himself seen to over 500 people. No one could deny what they saw at the time. The once fearful apostles, that hid from everyone, stood bold in the town square and preached the name of Jesus to everyone. They were put in jail and still preached. They were beaten and still preached. One by one, they were murdered, and yet, they still preached. This does not happen, if Jesus died and they were lying the whole time. The risen Christ galvanized the 11 followers of Jesus, and then the rest to come. Jesus, the Lord of Lords, had risen, just as he predicted and promised he would. 

As my surgery approaches, it is this truth that has given me hope. I am a character living in God’s story. History, is His Story. I am just a character in His story, and my hope for my life is simply this, in all I do, do to please and glorify God. I just want to make my Abba proud of me. I cannot control tomorrow; all I can control is how I respond today. Let us go and keep our focus on God. Let us seek first the kingdom of God. Let us put our hope in the Lord Jesus, and have faith that He is with us. Even as he was with those three brave men in the fiery furnace, and he was with Daniel in the lions den, he is with us. As he was with David fighting a giant, and of course the promise from Jesus himself. I am with you always, even to the end of the age. We may not always like what approaches us, but in reality we don’t know the truth behind good and bad. Our perception of good and bad is based on the outward stimuli in our lives. Our sense of good and bad is based on how this stimuli affects us. We want to be happy, and we expect a certain sense of homeostasis. Anything that makes us uncomfortable, or anything that provides us pain. Anything that gives us grief, or goes against what we want in our life, we deem as bad. Is my needing heart surgery bad? While most would say, having a spouse have an affair is bad, but in reality, sometimes God uses such things to point us in a different path. Years later we often look back and what once was the worst thing that had every happened to us, became the best thing. God’s sovereignty, and omnipresence, and not just omnipresence, but that God is everywhere and every when. Whatever we’re going through God already knows the outcome. Does that not give you a sense of relief? The God of the universe cares about your well being, and because of that, you can go about your day free from worry about the details of your tomorrow. If tomorrow is already written, all we must do as Christians, is face tomorrow with an attitude that Abba has you in his hands, and we just respond with whatever would please God. We are free to enjoy the beauty of this world. We are free to experience God’s wonderful creation, and love people the way Christ loves us. We respond to hardships with joy, and peace. We respond to people with love and edification. We lift them up in prayer, we show them scripture, or we show them Christ depending if they are a believer or not. We must face the day with a knowledge of what scripture tells us, and we live our lives within the confines of the Word of God. Find peace in His name. Find comfort in God’s word. Find joy in the trials. Never give up and never quit. Never stop doing good. Never give in to the temptation of this world, but hold fast within the Armor, and be the Christian that puts a smile on Gods face, that makes him proud of you, so when the day comes, we will hear, “Well done my good and faithful one.” 

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This Old Elf

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This Old Elf

Four decades, or forty years. Time slips by in what seems like an instant, but as anyone can see just by looking around them, time is better for some people than others. If I was not a faithful, God-fearing man, I would say time hated me. As one friend put it, ‘if it weren’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all.’ Time has been hard on me all these years. I have spent much time recently looking back and reviewing my four long decades on this earth. The passage of time is a strange thing, since sometimes it goes slow, and others we seem to miss it in the blink of an eye. But in reality, time moves the same speed today, as it did in the 80’s, 90’s and even the time just after Adam and Eve were banished from Eden. If I was a betting man, I would say, what I’m feeling is fairly common for a newly turned 40-year-old. I’m not sure if most people do this, but in the recent days I’ve been reflecting over my life.

I don’t believe anyone would say I’ve had an easy life. I have been blessed, and am currently blessed, but that does not mean life is without issues. There is certainly something to be said about a family member battling dementia, and the family left to help navigate the stormy waters. Some days are decent, while others are not. When the relationship is already tumultuous, turbulent, it makes that navigation like a first year Lieutenant on a land nav course. 

Are we ever where we thought we ‘d be? Generally, the answer to this question is no. I’d say the vast majority of people’s lives are so far off the track from what they originally attempted to navigate. This doesn’t mean life is all difficult, but I do think reflection can be both helpful and hurtful depending on the circumstances. Reflection is important so we can take a long hard look and perhaps gain some perspective. However, if we stair to long, we may get lost in the despair of rejection, heartache, and disappointment, that may come from looking back. I have a few big moments in my life I have considered what would have happened if I had just made a different choice. Some say our choices define us, and while that’s true, sometimes it feels they often condemn us. The last thing I want in my life is to forever be stuck. I look at my current situation and it’s hard not to feel stuck. It’s no secret that I live in a tent behind my mother’s house. Having needing a place to live after my back injury, my house was packed into boxes and while in need of a place to store it, mothers house was that place. What was meant to be a short stay, has now turned into seven years. In need of some privacy the tent was placed near the house to have power, a larger bed than a twin, a small place to put a desk to work, and some privacy. But it was in no way expected to be a long-term solution. Three years later. Now, when one looks at the current mortgage rates, I cannot pay half or more than half of my income to a house payment. A disabled veteran is hard pressed to own a home on their income alone. Am I a failure? At 40 years old, living in the back yard of their aging parent whose battling dementia, a house badly designed and laid out, making living very difficult, and stressful, and frustrating, I feel as if I have failed. It is my responsibility to take care of and provide for my family, and while yes, there is a roof over our heads, and food on the table, I am able to provide the bare minimum. Am I being too hard on myself? Perhaps.

I pray that in my current state in my life, that this is not a representation of me: 

Proverbs 13:4

4 The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing,

    while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.

Things aren’t always easy, and life hasn’t turned out the way I thought it would. The struggles I’ve faced are not easy, but nowhere near the worst they could be. Even with the recent and long-term struggles, I have to find my situation blessed. While I struggle every day with a slew of chronic issues, I know my situation could be worse. I have acknowledged at my current place; I am in no way of fixing or changing anything. It is for this reason, I know that all I can do is pray about where I am, and know that God is in control. Some have called this kind of acknowledgement the serenity prayer. While yes, I am aware of it, I will say, knowing and understanding, does not make the day-to-day choices any easier. 

As I turned forty, I’m not sure what I expected from the day, but I wish I could say it went well. Sadly, the day started off rough, and periodically went downhill. I found myself battling my own disappointments, strong negative emotions, and by the end of the night being hurt and disappointed by the words of others. A day that should have been happy and a celebration, did not turn out that way. I often wonder if people consider the amount of pressure a man has on his shoulders. I wonder if people truly consider how difficult it is for a man to have the weight and responsibility of his family’s spiritual walk, the financial responsibilities for the family, the maintenance and heavy lifting for the family. After all that, you add the man’s hopes and dreams, and know that he will often put those aside for the health, and welfare of his loved ones, he walks alone, silent in his struggle. 

But God, hears his cries. While he does not speak allowed his hurt, God knows and hears the cries coming from his broken heart. Turning 40 isn’t the end of the road, it’s merely the middle. One could say it’s the beginning, since every start around the sun is a new starting point. Every day waking up is a fresh start, as the sun rises over a blank canvas, we have the ability to let God paint us a new portrait. Today isn’t the end, and while it did not go as I hoped, and at the end of the day I am hurt, and disappointed, God knows and if it be His will, He will work it out. I started off the day whimsical and excited. As I end the day, I do so in silence, alone by candle light. How I wish I could boldly go on a starship and explore strange new worlds, and seek out new life. I find myself longing for life among the stars where the motivation of human society is no longer the accumulation of wealth but rather the betterment of all mankind. Where hunger, and homelessness is no longer a thing, and people have their needs and wants met, while exploring and growing humanity. Even being lost in the Delta Quadrant on Voyager doesn’t seem so bad. Perhaps one day. For now, look to one another and show kindness, respect, and above all, show love. We are to love our neighbor as God has loved us. Are we loving, and caring, sharing the truth of the Gospel? Hardships come and all we can do is trust in God, let go, and in all we do, all we say, do so to the Glory of the one who created it all, do so to bring a smile upon God’s face. Let’s release our selfishness and ask how we can serve others, and find joy in bringing happiness and love to a world around us that desperately needs it. 

Live Long and Prosper my friends. Go in Love. 

Be God’s Lego’s 2

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Be God’s Lego’s 2

We are hand crafted to do a job, a very specific job we are born to do, designed directly by God. Ephesians 2:10 “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” We often feel our calling and we tell God he’s wrong, and he’s mistaken, and there’s no way you can do what God has asked of you. My associate pastor said this once, “When you run from Gods call, you run from Gods blessing” (Rev. Glen Newsome) How can we expect to have the blessings if we ignore God? Do we expect to get presents on Christmas from family members? Sure we do, but what if they are family we never talk to, we never go see, we never call, do we expect to receive gifts from them? No of course not, so why do we expect to always receive grace from God if we don’t have a relationship with Him? How long will you run away from your calling? How long will you ignore your God given gifts for the things you want instead? We must realize that the things important to God for us may not be what’s popular, it may not be what society says is right, or truth, but scripture is the truth. God loved you to create you, and has a plan for you, and we must learn to let go of our sinful selves and follow the path God wants for you. What’s that you may ask? Be God’s Lego’s.

I have preached on Lego’s in the past, and I felt it was time to revisit it. I’ve sat by lately and I’ve watched as some of my friends have struggled to gain traction. I’ve watched as they barely make ends meat, and it breaks my heart. I offered someone recently to sit down with them to help them figure out why they are struggling financially so much. Having gone through my own struggles, and having gone through Financial Peace University, and having gotten myself to be debt free, I know I have been given the gift to make and follow a budget. God has given me a gift, and while I’m by no means the best at it, I can absolutely help others with it. God has given me the gift of words, and a fair gift of photography, and with it I have followed that path God has set in front of me, and I’ve been blessed for it.

I have recently gotten back into building Lego sets and it’s reminded me how we are all created for a particular purpose. There isn’t an instruction manual to guide us one day to the next, but when we understand that when we spend our waking moments working on our gifts and spreading the Gospel through the gifts God has given to us, we will always find ourselves having more then we need. When we run from our calling we will never truly be as happy as we should be. Running from the Abba of the universe will never leave us as satisfied with our lives as we would ever want. Philippians 2:13 “for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” No matter what we do with our life we need to treat our gifts as a seedling planted in the ground. We must water and treat and nourish our gifts so we can be pleasing to the Lord. Micah 6:8 “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” Following the Lord is neither easy, nor smooth, but anything worthwhile having is worth putting forth the effort.

We are the clay in which God has made us. We have been sculpted from the breath of life and we are exactly who God meant for us to be. Jeremiah 18:5-6 “Then the word of the Lord came to me: 6 “O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter has done? declares the Lord. Behold, like the clay in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel.” We are meant to live a life and walk a path. We are the result of love incarnate and when we look to our life and we see how difficult the path is, we should remember that from the day we were born, we learn, we grow, we experience things that prepare us for life further down the road. We can’t skip pages in the building process. When building Lego’s we can’t go from step 3 skipping to step 29 thinking it’s going to work out. We must be ready for the next step and to get there we must unfortunately go through a little pain, a little suffering, a little joy, a little happiness, all to prepare us for what’s to come. You can’t skip grades in school unless you’re ready for it. You certainly cannot move on if you haven’t achieved the goals set in front of you, achieving the expectations of you.

DSCN0272

Completing a Lego set is satisfying for me. It takes hours of concentration, attention to detail, and dedication to complete each individual set. God has put a lot of effort into us not to give us every effort, everything we need to accomplish the mission. God would never let us go into battle without the tools we need to defeat the enemy, and we have the instructions to life at every inch we take. The Bible is now easier to get then it ever has been. We can get it on our smart devices, any bookstore, in any language, and in so many version to make it easier to understand then ever before. We complain about not knowing where to go, or what to do, but we don’t turn to the only truth we’d ever need. We don’t look to God to give us the next step. We don’t turn to God when we are stuck and aren’t sure where to go. We don’t trust the creator, and to me that’s like me saying, I’m not sure this peace actually goes there, and questioning the instruction manual for any of the Lego sets I’ve ever built. When we trust in the Lord and follow the plan, we will one day get to the end of the road and we’ll be able to look back and say, ‘that makes so much sense now.’ We don’t have to understand the struggles and the why, we just have to have faith that when we are following the plan as designed, we will move from one step to the next and what we will build to leave behind will be to do the only thing important in this world, to love and glorify God. So, let God build you, shape you, design you, and when you follow your gifts to glorify God, good things will come your way. God will always make good on His promises, and he promises a good, not evil things.

Trust in the Lord and lead not unto your own understanding, and believe that the only purpose is to serve God’s purpose. Everything we endure, everything we experience is for a reason, and we must trust that to be the Lego’s of God means to love God, to do works for God, and we should be content with our place and purpose because we are worth the effort God has put in to us. We are one of a kind and that means whatever our purpose is, we are the only one built to accomplish that purpose.

 

 

 

 

 

Not okay

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Not okay

Just because I’m not okay doesn’t mean I won’t be. Many people go through hell on earth, but the struggle many people have isn’t the event, but the aftermath of support. For whatever reason people in our world no longer give any amount of time to heal. People no longer accept that it’s actually okay to not be okay. This isn’t saying it’s okay to get stuck in that pain, but as long as you’re moving forward in getting out of that season, it’s okay in the moment to hurt, it’s okay to feel the sting that’s left behind, and what’s needed the most is love, support, and a measure of hope.

2 Corinthians 2:7 “so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.” We are told to be there for our neighbors, to comfort them, to lift them up, and not tear down. Hebrews 10:24-25 “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” It seems as time goes on and the invention of social media, people have become far less concerned for their neighbors, their friends, even their family. People are no longer empathetic, or concerned with the well being of others.

I find as time continues on, we as a society have become less able to handle stress, less able to handle pain, and we’ve become far too sensitive. In the Book of Job, his friends didn’t sympathize, they didn’t show empathy, and they blamed him for his misfortune. His friends thought they were right, but God corrected that behavior. Job 42:7-8 7 It came about that after the Lord had spoken these words to Job, that the Lordsaid to Eliphaz the Temanite, “My wrath is kindled against you and against your two friends, for you have not spoken of Me what is right, as My servant Job has. 8 Now therefore, take for yourselves seven bulls and seven rams, and go to My servant Job, and offer up a burnt offering for yourselves, and My servant Job will pray for you. For I will accept him [and his prayer] so that I may not deal with you according to your folly, because you have not spoken of Me the thing that is right, as My servant Job has.” What is the message we are told over and over again in the Bible? Love, Love is the greatest of all things, and if we are not showing love to those in pain, to those who are in cheer, we are wrong. We cannot respond to sorrow with harshness, or anger. Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” It doesn’t matter if it’s your worst enemy, or if it’s your best friend, no matter how it is, everything you say should be to edify for Lord through you.

It’s okay to not be okay, it’s okay to have your bad days, to have your doubts, to struggle from time to time. It’s in our moments of struggle we need to raise our cries to the Lord. We cannot allow the world to beat us down so far we can’t get back up. It’s in that time we need to drop to our knees and pray vehemently.

 

 

What Would You Give Up?

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What Would You Give Up?

When all you want is all you can’t have, what would you give up? I was thinking of a song not to long ago by Tim McGraw : Don’t Take The Girl. When we live our lives we often feel like if we could just have one thing, just that one special thing it would change our life forever, and we’d never ask for anything big again? During the boy’s life in the song it starts off with a girl going fishing, and in his youth he doesn’t want the girl to tag along. He’s older and asks the girl to marry him and they get mugged. He begs the man not to take the girl. He offers his possessions in the hopes he can keep her from harm. Later she’s giving birth and complications arise and he begs God not to take the girl, he pleads with God to take him instead. Have you ever been in a place like that? Have you ever pleaded for something so strongly you’d be willing to trade places to protect someone from harm?

John 15:13 “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” Have you ever loved someone so much you were willing to give your all for them, to protect them? Think about what it means to give up everything for someone. Think of what it means to make the ultimate sacrifice? Jesus Christ did that for us. He gave up his life to save ours. He suffered at the hands of the wicked, and his innocent bloodshed paved the way for our eternal salvation.

A love that would last a lifetime is a rare thing. A love that would wade through the mud and the muck, that would suffer long, and be patient and wait through the craziness of this world. Loving someone isn’t easy and sometimes that love in itself can cause pain, but through the pain can be something wonderful, something hopeful. Having the patience and the security to manage isn’t always an easy thing to do. Sometimes we must take a leap of faith in order to see what the world may offer. Sometimes for the one chance at the spark of love we must give up ourselves in order strike the match. It all boils down to faith. Do you have it, or do you need it? Either way in anything we encounter in our lives we must have faith to see the path through the darkness, and only in that faith can we finally, and fully see the light of true hope.

Fighting the Devil one Battle at a Time.

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Fighting the Devil one Battle at a Time.

As a man who has seen war, I myself know the horrors that mankind can create. The sad part is even what I have seen isn’t the worst thing out there. My experiences in war were tame by most standards. The war between men however is nothing compared to the battle going on around us that we cannot see. Every whisper, every pull on a heart to go in the wrong direction in life is part of the fight. The first thing we must understand is no matter what happens to our bodies in this life the true fight is our souls. 2 Corinthians Chapter 10:3-5 “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: 4 (For the weapons of our warfare [are] not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) 5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;” We all know that the Devil plays games, pulls at our desires, our sinful nature, but what we don’t usually realize is part of the chess match with the devil is also a race against the clock.

Though the end of our life is not known to us, it is to God and we but only one chance to win the war for our very souls. At the end of our life we have only one chance to know in our hearts where our salvation lays. We must lay down our hearts to the lord and protect ourselves from the games of the Devil. Ephesians 6:12 “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” The Devil loves to bring chaos to order. Heaven was order, it was created as perfection, and the Devil destroyed that direct link with the God almighty. Trusting in the Lord is always difficult and even more so when we can’t understand our own pain, our own suffering. We don’t understand the testing of faith. The Devil prays on our weak points, our weaknesses in our very heart. When we are given the free will of choice and we choose hate, when we choose cruelty over love, we have lost the battle.

The war is not lost but we cannot loose battle after battle. We cannot give in to those desires, we must not walk that path because the longer we’re on it the more likely we are to continue to scrape away those things in our heart that point us to God. We must not let the darkness within take hold. We must take every situation into account and know when to put on the Armor and go to battle. The war ends the day we die for us anyway. The clock ticks on our lives and as a time bomb always goes off and finds it’s target, death always gets it’s prize. How do we welcome death? Is it as an old friend, and enemy, an opponent in a game of cat and mouse? It seems to me we should embrace life to make the most out of it, to spread the Gospel as much as we can, but when the time comes be so comfortable in the life you’ve live, the love you’ve shared, the scripture you’ve learned and used that you welcome death because the juice is worth the squeeze. Heaven is the end of the war, the end for those who live faithfully. The end may come at any time, and as we never know when the battle ends, when the war ends, what side of the war are you on? What team do you play for? As for me, I’m team Jesus.