Tag: god

Taking a Chance On Love

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Taking a Chance On Love

Don’t pass judgment based on others because you never know what awaits you just around the corner. When we are hurt we often try to hide ourselves in a little cave afraid to go out into the day because something out there might try to hurt us again. I often hear people say phrases like, “oh I’ll never get married again.” Or “I’ve given up on men all together.” To me this is presumptuous. The Bible does say to Psalms 118:8 “[It is] better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.” However this doesn’t mean we judge everyone based on one persons failings. Later in the book of Jeremiah 17:5 “Thus saith the LORD; Cursed [be] the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD.” Don’t misunderstand what the author is talking about. He’s not saying not to trust in man at all. What it’s saying is don’t build your foundation on the faith of man and mankind. Our foundation should be built on Christ. Without that foundation our homes would be washed out to sea when the first storm hits.

Have you ever eaten some place and gotten sick from it? Have you ever cooked something at home and gotten sick? What about going to the store and having a bad experience with one of the employee’s? Do we swear off an entire restaurant chain just because of one bad experience, do we stop shopping at a store just because of one rude employee? What if that employee was just having a really bad day? Or what if the food came to the restaurant tainted and everyone who had that particular meal got sick? We can never know the full story because all we see is one tiny piece of the puzzle and if that puzzle is incomplete we have no business, no right to judge the situation without all the facts.

I personally believe dating is very similar. In dating we put our heart out there on a platter and freely give it up to someone we believe cares for us. Even if they do at the time, people change and people’s motives and desires can lead them to a dark place and those dark places can wind up breaking your heart in the end. Out of roughly 16 billion people on the planet, and estimate half that for the opposite sex to what you are, you cannot within reason say that everyone in that giant lake are bad fish. I have a theory when it comes to dating or marriage that I’ve been wrestling with for a little while now. A friend told me recently that every guy she’s dated have been losers, or they’ve turned into losers by the end and she was tired of being hurt all the time. So, here’s my theory, stop fishing in the same pond. Think about it, we all have types don’t we? We all have a particular type of lady, or man we’re attracted to, but what if that’s the problem all along, what if it’s not the guy or the gale that is the problem. What if we’re the problem? If we continue to fish in the same pond and keep catching the same type of fish, then perhaps it’s time to make the change in ourselves, find within ourselves keeps leading us to the wrong type. We cannot blame the great white for being a blood thirsty hunter, it is what it is, but if we don’t want to catch a great white, don’t fish where they are known to be. If you want fresh water fish don’t fish in the ocean. Sure even some bad fish can come out of anywhere you want to go fishing, but that doesn’t stop, well, shouldn’t stop you from fishing. The only thing you absolutely should do is not stereotype because of a few bad experiences.

Furthermore if someone cheated on you, don’t go into the next relationship full of distrust and suspicion. Each relationship is a fresh start and every person is different. Don’t bring your baggage with you. Leave it buried out back with the other memories of your exes. Have faith each and every day that today can and will be different. When you bring your baggage with you every time you start something new you won’t be able to move forward. You are over encumbered and you are condemning someone else for the mistakes they didn’t make. It isn’t our place to judge so leave that up to the higher power. We often look through our own pain, and that’s like wearing beer goggles, our vision will always be distorted so long as we keep putting our pain up in front of us. So take a chance on love, and let go of the baggage that’s holding you down. That distrust, that anger, that sorrow will only torpedo your new relationship because no one wants to be treated with suspicion and distrust fresh out the gate.

 

 

Don’t Let The Flame Go Out

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Don’t Let The Flame Go Out

Lately I’ve felt beaten down, tortured by my own doubts, my own insecurities, my own past and of all that I have felt as if that little spark of hope, that little light that resounded left in my heart was going out. The constant struggles of solitude in both work and home, the constant reminder of failures swirling round in head. The emptiness of a house that once had laughter, smiles, and love, yet now with it just the dogs and me the silence is pounding in my heart and in my head. What has happened to me in the last couple weeks I ask myself? As I look to my future I see a big move out of state, a 7 week gap before I end up to my new home, which I don’t have, a new job, which has barely been discussed, a hope and prayer are the fuel that powers this mission. So as I sleep at night and my dreams are nightmares, the wind howls and trees knocking around outside, the broken limbs fall to the deck waking the dogs, which in turn wakes me and this goes on all night long. The lyrics “I’ve been a walking heartache” By Dave Barnes plays in the distance. The fire inside me feels like it’s being drowned by the tears of my sorrows, and the pain in my chest suffocating the flame that’s been able to withstand so much till now. The days of doubt have finally caught up to me, and the bit of hope I once had for my future seemed like it was all but gone. Any hope I had to reignite the flame seemed to be washed out by the storm that just wouldn’t go away. The part of me that felt no hope was growing in strength spreading like a dark shadow deep within. When the world is unrelenting what hope do we have to stand toe to toe with the prizefighter that’s been doing this a lot longer than we have.

Hard Love

Hold on tight a little longer
What don’t kill ya, makes ya stronger
Get back up, ’cause it’s a hard love
You can’t change without a fallout
It’s gon’ hurt, but don’t you slow down
Get back up, ’cause it’s a hard love

When the wolves come and hunt me down
I will face them all and stand my ground
‘Cause there’s a fire burnin’ in me
They will see my strength in this love I found

The Apostil Paul was sitting in a Roman jail awaiting his execution. By this point Paul had experienced a great many hardships. 2nd Corinthians 11:24-28: “24 Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one. 25 Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep; 26 In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; 27 In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness. 28 Beside those things that are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the churches.” Paul had experienced a great many hardships, but even where he was sitting he managed to write about hope and love. Where do we look for inspiration when we have fallen and would rather stay down on the mat instead of getting back up to endure more of the beating? When we just can’t find the strength to stand what do we do? Matthew 27:32 “32 As they went out, they found a man of Cyrene, Simon by name. They compelled this man to carry his cross” My take away from this is in our greatest times of struggles, in our deepest of sorrows we are meant to get help. Even Christ showed us it’s okay to ask or receive help. We must let go of our sinful pride and ask for Godly help. We are meant to turn to the Lord, but also our fellow Christians. We are meant to put our sorrows out there to let our Brothers and Sisters in Christ help us bare our own crosses. When asking for help however we must be careful to avoid asking the wickedness of man for help. Isaiah 8:19 “And when they shall say unto you, Seek unto them that have familiar spirits, and unto wizards that peep, and that mutter: should not a people seek unto their God? for the living to the dead?” When we seek ungodly counsel we will be led astray. We will be guided to directions that would further lead us into more sin, and a deeper divide between the Lord and us. As a body of Christ we are commanded to Love our Neighbors as ourselves. Meaning we are all in this together. When we harm our neighbor, we harm ourselves. For every action there are repercussions both good and bad equal to the action dependent on the side you act upon. In Galatians 6:2 the words jump off the page. It’s not saying you could, or you can, or maybe, it’s saying, “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” This means you are meant to help your neighbor when they are troubled. We are meant to lay our troubles at the feet of Christ, we are meant to lay our troubles at the feet of our Christian Brothers and Sisters, and they in turn are supposed to be there for us.

When we don’t know where to turn, when we feel as if we can’t take another step, when we feel the blow to our bodies one after another, we are actually struggling with the lies of the world. Satan will throw everything at you He can to break you. Satan wants you to fall and not get back up. Satan wants you to believe the lies he tells, and wants you to be crushed under the weight of burden.

Casting Crowns

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I’ve tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. “Boy, you’ll never win!”
“You’ll never win!”

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”
The voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

 As the Apostle Peter was called to step out of the boat in the storm, he began to sink and Christ replied “Ye of little faith” We must remember that as long as Christ is with us we will never truly sink. The voice of truth tells us to never be afraid for as long as God is for you, who than can be against you. The Apostle Paul wrote Timothy from inside a Roman prison awaiting execution. 2 Timothy 4:5-8 “5 But watch thou in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of thy ministry.6 For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand.7 I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:8 Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.” As Paul writes he knows he’s about to die. He’s telling Timothy to remain strong when the time comes those false doctrines and their own lusts and other manner of sinful nature will take over. In that time stand firm in the teaching and be ready to suffer the consequences for not turning away from the truth. When all hope seems to be lost remember that keeping the course is it’s own reward. Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness. This is the promise of ever lasting peace in Heaven, a gift from God that ALL may have the joy of receiving if only love the Lord.

When you are down and you feel that you can’t get that spark to light, seek shelter under the protection of Christ’s umbrella. Allow Christ to warm you by the fire. Allow God to comfort your wounds, your weary souls. Psalm 23 “23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.” Know that there is comfort in the Holy Spirit, and that comfort is for you if you ask for it.

SideWalkProphets

If there’s a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will
Whatever Your will
Can you help me find it
Can you help me find it

I’m giving You fear and You give faith
I giving you doubt
You give me grace
For every step I’ve never been alone

Even when it hurts, You’ll have Your way
Even in the valley I will say
With every breath
You’ve never let me go

 (Prayer) Whatever your will my Lord help me find it. Whatever ales my heart help heal me. Whatever weighs me down help cut it away. God please rest my soul. When we don’t see what’s coming and we hurt and we have pain and sorrow, remind me I’m not alone. Lord be with me and watch over me as I wrestle with my trials, my tribulations, my heartbreak. Lord remind me I’m not alone and I can count on YOU, and place in my path those that can help me bare this burden. Please allow me to continue to help others bare their crosses and allow my home to be rebuilt, better than it was before. God I know I’m not alone, and I know that in all things you are in control, and in You all things are possible. AMEN…

 

 

 

 

 

The Grass Ain’t Greener

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The Grass Ain’t Greener      

Recently as some of you who read my blogs have already figured out I suffered a horrible separation. Because of that this topic’s been weighing on my mind. Often when we look across the yard and things look pretty good. We look at other peoples lives, we look at what others have, we look to other people and we often think how good they have it, or how great it would be to own that, or even how good it would be to be with someone else. We usually call this the grass is greener phase. The thing about this phase is, it’s a lie. The Devil has been perpetrating this lie since the original day of sin. The day in the garden Satan convinced Eve that life would be better after eating from the tree of knowledge. He convinced her that living a life with open eyes would be better then that which God had created for them. The Devil made it sound like the grass was greener on the other side. The sad part was once Eve stepped over to the other side and realized how wrong she was the damage was done and it couldn’t be fixed. The fall from grace had happened and now the beautiful grass she once had died, and she could never have that life back again.

When we pursue the greener grass we are looking through a distorted keyhole lens that only shows us what we want to see, not what we need to see. How often do we hear the stories about people crossing over to the other side just to find out it’s not great at all, and they wish they could go back. The sad part is when you cross over and then in doing so you destroy not only your life but also others around you. Recently in my life I knew a couple that had been together for about 10 years or so. The father had gone through a horrible divorce because his first wife had an affair and destroyed the marriage. After a while of healing he met a new woman who’d become his second wife. They would have a great life, a great house, their children became a family, and at least from the spectator point of view their life looked pretty good. OF course there are things we never see from the outside, but I know I was a bit envious of everything they had. I found out rather suddenly that she had an affair, lied about it, continued the affair, and it quickly fell apart. She destroyed her own career, she broke the hearts of the kids, broke her husbands heart and as he suffered this kind of loss now for the second time his pain now unimaginable. I’ve not talked to her since then but the question is ‘was it worth it?’ Though I’ll never have the answer I have to imagine at some point the rose goggles will be removed and the beauty will turn to ash.

In my own life I have suffered something very similar. Two wives, two affairs, and as with the first time, the second time has left me broken and displaced. This time around my faith is guiding me. This time around I am stronger than I was before. This time I know I have more to offer. I heard a saying once a few years ago, “The grass is greener where you water it.” Marriage isn’t easy sometimes, and sin pulls at our hearts and all manner of earthly desires but when you get married it’s for life, it’s not for as long as it’s convenient. The idea of sin in the marriage such as divorce is repugnant to God. The old saying is you can look but don’t touch apparently is more of a guideline these days. Even looking can be a pitfall if it becomes envy or lust. There are so many people out there who have spouses who became cheaters, so many relationships fail because of infidelity. God’s heart breaks watching so many relationships crumble because of such things. Genesis 2: 21:22 “So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made[h] into a woman and brought her to the man.” Woman was made to be of one flesh. Woman was made so man wouldn’t be alone, and vise versa. When two people marry they become one flesh. They are devoted and when there is infidelity the heartbreak that’s caused can be deeper then some can handle. I wish we could have the eyes of God to see what God see’s within the hearts of those broken by infidelity, by lies, by deceits. I wish those who do such evil things knew how it feels to be on the receiving end. I wish I knew or understood the minds and hearts of those who do this to others. I wish that we could receive Gods love for humanity. I wish we loved as God loves.

Much like the man from my story earlier I feel the pain he feels, I have seen through his eyes, and I know the pain of the knife, the pain of betrayal, the sting of lies. Was the grass greener, I may never know, but I know my future looks bright. For every tragedy we face in our lives there is a potential for great redemption. In every tragedy God is working to use it for the betterment of our lives. No matter how much pain we face, no matter how much sorrow or anger that’s in our hearts letting go of that poison and finding a new pasture to raise your home is the first step. Forgiveness and letting go of that anger and hate, saying it a thousand times over, letting yourself weep and feel, ‘I forgive you.’ You must learn to believe in the goodness of people. You must learn that each person you encounter is not the last. Holding onto anger and holding onto hatred are chains for your very soul that leave you stuck in the place that, that wound first happened and you can’t break free till you face the pain head on. You must fight the urge to stay angry, you must fight the urge to hate. We are not the judge and we are not the jury. Deuteronomy 32:35 “To me belongeth vengeance, and recompence; their foot shall slide in due time: for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste.” We are not to hold onto the cancer that holds us back.

When our worlds fall down because of someone else and it looks like our grass is dying, and we feel we’ll never be whole again remember that tears of healing may fall and will water your grass. Let them flow, let the healing begin and watch as God uses the miraculous to change your life. Every day you must learn to take care of your own yard, tend to your garden, tend to your flock and watch as the healing waters sprout new life into your life and sooner than you think your grass will be green and full of life. The glory of our lives and our calamities all belong to the grace of God. God sees the pain, feels the pain, and endures the pain. God was with Jesus on that Cross, and as we fight to bare our own cross Christ our Lord, one with the Father Abba is with us on our cross. The whips that strike us strike God. The words that cut our hearts cut the heart of God. Nothing we go through in this life affects only us. As I have grown a great deal I have found that the wounds I’ve endured over these last 8 months are not mine alone, and I wouldn’t be standing if it weren’t for God. I myself broke Gods heart 8 months ago, and I have to pray and ask for that forgiveness. I asked God to forgive me as I was dying in that ambulance and hearing the voice of God “You’re forgiven” I woke and new life was breathed into my chest. The only grass that’s greener in our lives we won’t find here. It’s only when we go home, when we finally reach our place in paradise will the grass ever be greener. Don’t loose sight of the promise made and remember God’s promise to us is not empty, it’s full of truth and life.

When the world tries to lure you away from your own piece of grass, when you are being tempted to cross over that fence, remember not only will your grass die where you were, there will be no blessing on the land where you are headed. Have faith that if you are on the fence and you are thinking of crossing over because you feel life would be better on the other side, think of Matthew 4:29-31 “He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” Much like Peter we must trust in the Lord will not let us be consumed by the storm. When you are struggling in your relationship there’s always a better way. Fight for your relationship, fight with everything you’ve got and trust in the Lord to save you when times are darkest.

 

 

 

 

 

Broken Sky

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Broken Sky

The pain inside caused by you shattered like a mirror to the floor all around.

God protect me so I can put the peaces back together.

God give me your eyes so I can see the reasons why.

The tears that fall, fall like bricks to the ground. The flood all around now from tears I’ve spent.

Why would you do this I scream, why oh why I cry.

Nothing’s all right, nothings okay, I’m fine I say, but the lie that lies.

I’m broken hearted and I feel fractured inside, torn to which way to go.

A second chance, a third and forth, but nothing helps.

God tells me I’m more than what I feel. Tears drench my shirt, my desk, my everything.

I’m not who I once was, I am afraid, and I don’t know what else to do.

God hurts too, or so the Bible tells me so.

God am I being punished for my mistakes, is this only path?

God says no, no punishment, free will makes the heart break.

We are more than the mistakes we make. We are remade in the light, washed by the waters.

God stay with me tonight, God hold me tonight, Abba I need you today. I’m broken.

God my pain is deep and I feel like I’ll never be whole again. Abba save me from my sorrow.

God my God please save me tonight. Help me fight what I feel, help me feel today I can be saved.

God please bless me, please don’t make me wait. God my God help me, I need to feel you here.

God my God I know that I’ll be stronger in the end.

God my Abba please stand with me in this fire, please help me not feel the pain as the fire burns away the old.

God my God please help my heart, please hold me tonight. God my God don’t forsake me tonight.

What don’t kill ya makes ya stronger I know, but I can’t do it alone. My God my God don’t let me fall tonight.

The Hard Love I feel, the pain inside, fractured and broken, I am shattered in the mirror on the ground.

God my God, my Father, please piece me back together better than I was before.

My God my God please allow me to be rid of the rocky road, protect me from the Devil, please I beg of thee.

God the Abba

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God the Abba

Growing up I never had a dad in my life. It wasn’t in cards for me to be blessed with a father on this earth. For years and years that bothered me and I found myself jealous of others who had good relationships with their fathers. The nature of growing up without a father plagued me for many years. Today being father’s day I have had the distinct privilege to listen to my best friend preach about the greatest father of all, God. 1 Kings 2:1-3 When David’s time to die drew near, he commanded Solomon his son, saying,2 “I am about to go the way of all the earth. Be strong, and show yourself a man,3 and keep the charge of the Lord your God, walking in his ways and keeping his statutes, his commandments, his rules, and his testimonies, as it is written in the Law of Moses, that you may prosper in all that you do and wherever you turn,” David was many things, a great leader, a great King, a great man of God, but in one area he failed was being a good family man. He wasn’t a good father, and he wasn’t a good husband.

For some of us God is more than just a being of enormous power and divine love. For me God has become so much more, but the term father means so much more. Mark 14:33-36 “33 He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. 34 “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.” 35 Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hourmight pass from him. 36 “Abba,[a] Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.” Jesus explained how deeply troubled he was as he was facing his choice to go through as the sacrificial lamb for the fate of the entire world. Christ knew above all that God was more than just God, but our Father in heaven. For me God shall always be Abba.

In 2010 I met a man, a great man of God who would continue to inspire me, guide me, and help me grow in my faith of God. I spent 26 years without a father and that day ended when I met my future father in law. After 7 years that would end abruptly as I would watch that family be ripped away from me. Through all this I found a renewed faith and a special relationship with God. As I spent my life with God in all that time I never found a relationship like the one I have now. We never know how or why things work the way they do, but one things is certain our father is always working even if we can’t see it to turn tragedy into miraculous. Abba gave us the rules of the house and we are commanded to follow. In the event we break the rules know that Abba will give us a good old-fashioned butt whooping. Every good father knows when to comfort, knows when to lead, knows when to discipline, but in all moments of our lives Abba is with us. No matter the sorrows we face in this world, Abba will hold us, be with us always.

To all the dads out there be more then biological fathers, be real dads. Teach your kids in the ways of the Lord, teach them in the ways of being a good Christian. To all the dads out there be special to your children; be special to the people that look up to you. Be a good dad, a good father.

 

 

A Past Long Forgotten, The Dangers of Compartmentalization

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A Past Long Forgotten, The Dangers of Compartmentalization

I’m sure most people have had at least one trauma in their life that sticks with them, if not more than one. If you’re like me, the Devil just loves to stick around and try to make life a tad harder than it needs to be. One thing I’ve noticed is the minute changes that come about after every trauma takes place. When you’ve become so consumed with the trauma that you are forced to find anyway you can handle it, a common way for kids to handle, or at least myself was compartmentalization. When it comes to trauma big and small this is a safe way to handle it in the moment. However, if not revisited this method of handling can be very dangerous. Websters defines compartmentalized as “to separate into isolated compartments or categories” In many cases this is the event, and the emotion surrounding the event and are stored inside the brain as separate memory engrames. Once the memory is separated it’s difficult to reconnect the two, and it’s more so when the laps of time is greater. So what happens when you do this throughout a lifetime, say, 30 years? Lets think of memories as boxes, now think about each box as a memory, but the painful ones divide into two boxes and sit them on the shelf in the closet. Over time that closet is going to start to get full. When the closet reaches a certain point, all it takes is one massive event, and everything in that closet can come bursting down on top of you burying you in all the negative feelings you tried so hard to subdue or hide. So now you are lying on the floor, you have boxes everywhere, the emotions are like a zoo full of escaped wild animals, how do you plan on wrangling them up, and putting them back? The truth is, you don’t. The time at this point has past and now a new way of storing them is needed.

Often times when the emotions from traumas are released in such an uncontrolled manner the outcome is less than desirable. The effects can be quite frankly catastrophic. Often we see this as the beginning to self-destruction. An individual can go through several possible outcomes to include, self harm, harming others, drugs or substance abuse, addictions of other kinds such as work, gambling, adrenalin seekers, or other forms of risky behaviors. This is the common way for someone who’s accidently had Pandora’s box opened who didn’t have the right guidance to handle it. People don’t usually ask for the box to be pried open, sadly, it’s just one of life’s unfortunate circumstances. The key, once it’s opened is to know what to expect, and hopefully have someone around who can help guide you through the path of recovery. There are 4 basic paths to dealing with trauma. They can be found and studied here.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200111/recovering-trauma

The example that best correlates with compartmentalization is the Tsunamis. During the time you have lived on by not feeling, as it’s described in the Psychology Today article your nervous system is a circuit bored and in the event of a catastrophic traumatic event your system shuts down. There’s a dangerous time frame here between the event, and the waters receding. It’s in that short period of time that some will fall into the self-harm stage. It happens so fast that spectators rarely realize there’s a problem until it’s too late.

The truth is, as a Christian nation it needs to be better about standing with our brothers and sisters in times of great struggle. It’s sometimes hard to do especially when we don’t always know or understand the nature of what’s going on underneath the water. Some people, myself included often look like a duck on a pond. Floating around, no cares in the world, however if you look under the water, those little flipper feet are going a mile a minute. The iceburg is much larger underneath than what we see on the surface. Since we never know someone’s breaking point we must assume that during events that are hard to handle we look at them objectively and try to remain unbiased. A few life changing events that some would seem as bad things but not traumas are what we will look at for a moment. Loosing your job, loosing a spouse to either death or an unwanted divorce, loosing a loved one, car accidents, and sometimes slightly worse events. These things to some people may seem horrible, but to others, they can be the straw to break the camels back. As that may often be the case it’s better to error on the side of caution and overly loving in the hopes there are no residual feelings that could move this into a catastrophic event.

The dangers of being wrong: What if your friend or spouse goes through one of these events and notices you aren’t there for them, or you downplay how they are feeling. If we don’t show them that we care, and if we pass a negative judgment on their situation we may actually be contributing to the further decline of their mental stability. It’s important to always try and be supportive. We all handle situations and stress differently based on the culmination of our backgrounds and what we’ve learned in the past. If you are a young man and you get harassed every day by the police, eventually you will grow to fear them, hate them, avoid them, even though they are only there to help, the behavior is a learned trait. If you are bullied your whole life and you grow up and have self-esteem issues, self loathing, fear of rejection, or abandonment, those fears, those traits are learned traits. They come from a lifetime of experiences that tells us how the world is, even if it’s only our version of the truth. Getting back to the point, when bad things happen, we don’t honestly know how someone will react. That’s why it’s so important to follow Galatians 6:2 “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” We shouldn’t hesitate to help even with the small stuff. Show compassion and be there if someone needs you. Ephesians 4:32 “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” We’ve been given such grace and love and forgiveness by God we are asked to pass that along to our fellow brothers and sisters of humanity. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.”

If you’re struggling through tough times, if you have old trauma’s that are weighing you down, or if you just feel you need to talk, seek out Godly and or professional advice. Don’t try to get through this life on your own. There’s no shame in asking for help. Not asking for help is prideful, arrogant, and perhaps even a hair selfish. By not dealing with the issue when it’s small, it can grow inside you like a cancer, spreading throughout your thoughts and feelings, until one day it’s beyond repair. Seek help, trust in the Lord that you will be watched over no matter how light, or heavy the storm is.

Behind The Eyes

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Behind The Eyes

The eyes as they say are the windows to the soul. We tell others our favorite things are peoples eyes, the beauty in the differences, the unique, the colors, the softness, or hardness as they are shaped by the chapters we face and overcome albeit good or bad. Do we ever look deep enough to see the pain hidden deep down in someone’s soul? Do we ever learn to look beyond our own pain and suffering to see it in others? The cold suffering hidden behind the eyes, one of fear, one of hopelessness, do we see it and ignore it? Behind the eyes is the doorway to discover someone’s joy, someone’s fears, or the sorrow. I recently had someone tell me I looked so happy in a photo I took. I was surprised to say the least. I took the photo because that’s what I do, I send selfies to the people I’m talking to. It makes the conversation a little less faceless. In the photo however I felt horrible. I felt miserable, and I had to force the smile from the stiff upper lip I’ve been supporting for months. The pain didn’t show through, or did it, and the untrained eye didn’t see it in my eyes?

Matthew 6:22-23 “The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. 23 But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!” In my own photo I realized it was the untrained eye that didn’t see it, or didn’t want to see it. We move along in our lives and we have either gotten so good at hiding how we feel, the pain were going through, or we’ve gotten so skilled at only focusing on ourselves we just can’t get beyond our own self. God sees all the pain in the entire world. Imagine that for a moment that you can see, you can feel all the suffering of the world. If you had even a hint of empathy could you imagine your heart breaking?

We couldn’t imagine the burdens people are carrying. We can’t ever fathom the pain raging deep inside someone’s heart. The only truth is those burdens for many are nearly more then they can carry alone. When we truly learn to see those in danger should we not reach down and find the empathy that we has as a society lost, yes, yes we should. Jesus never turned someone away who was in need, no one who was suffering. He provided hope and love, and empathy for those in need. We need to learn to open our eyes and our hearts to see the world, to see that we can touch a single soul by our kindness and generosity of love.

Give Me Your Eyes, Brandon Heath

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see,
Everything that I keep missing,
Give your love for humanity.
Give me your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten.
Give me Your eyes so I can see.

Save My Life, Sidewalk Prophets

If you looked me right in the eye
Would see the pain deep inside
Would you take the time to

Tell me what I need to hear
Tell me that I’m not forgotten
Show me there’s a God
Who can be more than all I’ve ever wanted
‘Cause right now I need a little hope
I need to know that I’m not alone
Maybe God is calling you tonight
To tell me something
That might save my life

 We can never know how important we are to someone else. Every encounter even small can have a lasting impression. The song Save My Life by the Sidewalk Prophets touches on this. Would we take just a little longer to talk to someone at the store, or at our job, or even in our own church? If you knew that those fleeting moments could be the difference between life and death for someone, would that change your perspective? Just about everyone I think would say they would spend a little more time if they, or had they known. I’m a firm believer that suicide just doesn’t happen in a split second. The person in pain has been in pain for a while and perhaps had very few people to lean on or trust with their pain. Look deep inside someone and embrace every chance we get with people. You never know, you might just save a life and not even know it.

We all need Christ in our lives. We unfortunately don’t have Christ physically with us, but if we need hope, if we need the love we have something powerful, we have the Holy Spirit. Christ told the disciples to go forth and baptize all the nations. If we are walking in the shadow of Christ we have the power to make that change. We can save a life by just showing a little love. We can save a life by just extending a hand in friendship. If we spread the love of Christ to the world we can touch millions. If Christians actually wept for those in need, if Christians actually saw and felt for those in pain and tried to help heal the pain as Christ had, how many lives could we affect change to, the implications would be more then any of us could fathom. “I want a second glace, so give me a second chance, to see the way you see the people all alone.” We only get one chance sometimes to make a difference. If we look at every opportunity as a chance to change the world we can because we have the Holy Spirit with us. The world is in such chaos and turmoil we can bring a little hope back to it. God has blessed us with boundless love and hope. Why we don’t spread that love to others is beyond me. Is it uncomfortable sure, but Jesus was well versed in making people uncomfortable. Jesus led his people his friends, his disciples into Samaria and then once there sent them out on their own. God uses the weak and the broken as his warriors. They say that when you are hurting you can heal if you pour yourself into helping others who are hurting just like you. Everyone’s a sinner just like you and me, everyone’s going through something and God put you in their life for a reason. If we consider every life we encounter isn’t an accident, but by design, how we act towards them could be life altering. Open your heart to see the good you can do.

Lord give me the sight to see the pain behind others eyes.

Lord give me the strength to get beyond my own pain.

Lord give me what I need to touch the lives of those around me.

Lord give me the courage to step out of the boat and out of my comfort zone.

Lord give me the eyes to see. Give me the love you’ve held onto me.

 

The End of The Road

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The End of The Road

I recently found myself in a tough spot, to try and make it in the house I’m living in which is my house, or move out, let it sit empty while on the market, hope it sells quick, and in the mean time find any place I can to lay my head at night. I suppose the house is the last remnant of my old life, the last vestige of a life that fell to ruin. As I packed the house I found myself feeling intense emotions. I felt hurt, and broken, I felt anger, and sorrow. How could this have happened, and more importantly how did it happen to me twice? I suppose I’ll never get a reason for all of this. I suppose the reason is only for a sense of closure and not really all that important. When we find ourselves at the end of a road where do we go, where do we turn? I wish I had an answer, but I truly don’t. Proverbs 14:12 “There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.” We always want to do things our way, walk our path the way we want to. The incontrovertible truth is we won’t get very far, except to the end of the road. Proverbs 22:3 “A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished.” We may not always see the danger coming. Sometimes we are blind sided by it but those are the times we must put our faith and trust in the Lord.

When we feel as if every turn in the labyrinth we travel is one dead end after another we have to ask ourselves if we are following the road God has planned for us. Psalm 32:8 “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.” God promises to help us in our walk. The question is do we trust in the Lord when we can’t always see through the fog? Do we truly follow Proverbs 3:5-6? “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” I find that many people struggle with understanding the meaning of some of the scripture used to help guide. Many people I think want to try and use scripture like Jeremiah 29:11 to show that God is responsible for evil things. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you future and a hope.” If God promises hope, and peace why do we struggle so much? It’s the big picture we are missing. It isn’t about the short-term struggles we have, it’s about the peace and joy of an everlasting life. If Christ suffered as the sacrificial lamb and he was without sin, then we sinners certainly won’t be so lucky. Our hope comes from the knowledge that our suffering in this life won’t be for nothing.

One thing we as a fallen people try to do is, when we get to the end of that road and are faced with that brick wall, we often try to dig through it, force our way through regardless of the fact that the wall was placed there as a deterrent by God. We by nature are stubborn, and we want what we want. Sadly when our road comes to an end, we have to find the new road God wants us on. That’s never an easy task, but we don’t usually get a say so in the matter. Finding yourself at the end of the road can be stressful. When we don’t know where to turn, or find ourselves facing that wall by surprise, finding a new way can be difficult. Having faith is hard, but having a strong enough faith to not let life beat you down can be even harder. When we face the end of the road we have to believe there’s a purpose for it, and a purpose for us. Psalm 23:3 “He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.” Listen for the Holy Spirit and follow the path you are being guided to. Have faith and trust in the Lord. Matthew 17:20 “He (Jesus) said to them, ‘Because of yoru little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.” This parable shows that a mustard seed when it starts off is small, but as it grows it does so into a huge tree. Again it’s about the journey, and the time it takes to get from point A to B, not something that happens over night. We will all face our own sets of brick walls here and there, however the disappointment can’t consume us when the wall shows up in our path. Don’t despair and don’t give up. When we truly open our eyes we see that we have the whole world in front of us.

 

Making A Plan

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Making A Plan

All my life I had a plan, I knew how the plan was going to go, I knew how my life was going to unfold, and I knew how to execute the plan. Well, a day before I graduated high school the plan fell apart. ‘The defense department regrets to inform you that you have be found ineligible for the selection into the United States Marine Corps. “ Well, there went my plan. I was so certain I would make it into the Armed Services I barely spent any time on my college testing, and I had only applied to two universities. Both of which I was accepted to, though, I hadn’t planned for how I was going to pay for college. So my plan flew off the rails before it even got going. After a year of moving around a bit, I got a job but wasn’t satisfied with life. I was terrified of college and failing so I ran away from that as fast as I could. It was just by pure coincidence (if there is such a thing) that I ran into an Air Force recruiter in the store. I had talked to him about my denial letter and re suggested I reapply. A few months later I moved back home to live with my Grandfather, and I talked to my local recruiter. Everything was looking good, the process was going along smoothly, and away to MEPS I went. Something was wrong though. I didn’t feel the choices in the Air Force fit my personality and my drive. When I got back from MEPS my recruiter wasn’t there at the recruiting station. I was really upset by that, and I stormed into the Army recruiting office and started talking to them. Within 10 minutes I was headed home with a list of Army jobs, and a slew of information. I had at least 13 jobs circled for further review within the 15-minute drive home. This looked promising I said to myself. I went to MEPS again for the final time before I would ship out, the rest of my testing was done; the job selection process came up. Cavalry Scout was the dream job. There was only 1 slot open so we had to write an essay between two of us candidates. Mine was chosen and I advanced to get a ship date, 6-month wait.

For the next 6 months I would train, and I would enjoy the time I had left with close friends. I would be headed to Fort Knox for one station unit training, and while I was there I would get my duty station. I had signed up for a 1-year hardship in Korea. I figured, if I was going to go to war at least I could have some training in the Army first. During basic I was doing well, I was getting faster, stronger, and testing well. I was moving along to graduate then all of a sudden I ended up with MERSA and I was hospitalized for 4 days. I missed out on vital training, so instead of graduating with my class, I would be recycled through to the next class to graduate. This hit me like a ton of bricks. The plan wasn’t cooperating. I would graduate 6 weeks later then planned. I went to Korea and placed in my unit up at Camp Casey. 1 year in Korea wasn’t going to be so bad. I had a plan, and if I liked it I might even stay one more year after that. Except the plan wasn’t going to cooperate again. We as a unit were being removed from Korea, sent to Iraq and our new home location would be determined while we were in theater. I choose Korea because hardship duty stations didn’t deploy to other combat zones, or they hadn’t in almost 50 years. All that time and effort I spent getting away from the war for a little while just vanished in front of me.

While in country I would get hurt (non combat related) I would loose friends (combat related) and I would endure hardships. I would get home and try my best to keep making plans. Relationships wouldn’t go to plan, I would end up having surgery on my knee, I would get married, then get out of the military ahead of schedule. I moved, and then moved to Europe as a civilian military spouse. I would loose that marriage to an affair. I met a wonderful woman, eventually would marry her and then in time watch as my life was torn apart by yet another grisly affair.

So, that’s pretty much the last 15 years. I look back and I snicker at how well my best laid plans would work. I heard a quote just a couple weeks ago “Make the plan, Execute the plan, Expect the plan to go off the rails, Throw away the plan.” (The Flash) That statement couldn’t be truer. What does God think of our plans? Well, funny you should ask, Proverbs 15:22 “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.” As we all know, even as much as we may want something, that doesn’t mean that’s what God has planned for us. Amos 3:7 “For the Lord God does nothing without revealing his secret to his servants the prophets.” Since we haven’t seen any prophets in a long time, it’s safe to say we often fly blind. Another saying to laugh about is “Tell God your plans and watch Him laugh.”

Living by following the cross, and doing our very best to listen to what God has planned for us is the closest we have to knowing plans will even partially work. When God closes a door we have a hard time understanding why, we have a hard time accepting no as an answer. For some it’s not a no, it’s just a not yet, but for others, their fate is down a different rabbit hole. We all know that the best-laid plan is to follow Christ. Read the scripture and the lessons left for us to follow and you can’t go wrong. Not all our plans are meant to work, some are because of our own doing, and some will fail because of others. The path your on doesn’t actually end, it just splits. It’s up to all of us to choose the path we feel lines closest to what God wants for us. James 4:13-17 “Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”

I’ll leave you with this story as a close. August 2012, just three months before I was scheduled to be married I was out with my girlfriend and her father. She had just got a new Smith & Wesson Bodyguard semi automatic pistol. It’s a little .380 about the size of my hand. We’d been out shooting for a little while and I opted to shoot last. I was testing out the built in laser and I went to a knee to see how accurate it was. I held the gun steady and I squeezed the trigger. It jumped like no tomorrow as I felt a huge wave of air on my face. It felt like a book had been waved in front of my face, then hit me. I went to stand up, but I couldn’t see completely. My face was red hot, and I could feel the warm hot liquid poor from my face. I could feel it on my hand when I touched my face, and it was at that moment I realized I was in need of help. I turned around and dropped to a knee. We would later find the bullet casing had exploded in the chamber. It buckled the guns plastic, and peppered my eye protection with bits of shrapnel. Sadly my glasses didn’t protect my entire face and my cheek, nose, and forehead weren’t so lucky. My vision was saved due to the glasses, but to this day a piece of shrapnel still remains in my right cheek as the surgeon was unable to remove the tiny fragment in fear of doing more harm then good. Every day we went shooting we always planned and executed safety as best we could. On this particular day it happened to be, I was doing what I was supposed to, I wore what I was supposed to, but I was still injured. Thankfully the shrapnel wasn’t lower and it didn’t go through the artery in my neck. Even the best laid, most carefully thought out plans can quickly go to all Hades. Just remember that sometimes, when our plans go off the rails THAT may be part of the bigger plan after all.

Lift up Don’t Tear Down

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Lift up Don’t Tear Down

Brothers and sisters in Christ we have a commandment we often fall short on. John 13:34-35“34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” I have been listening to a song lately I know was not meant to be a Christian song, but I hear it as such. God Gave Me You, the version I have is Dave Barnes. “God Gave me you for the ups and downs.” When I think of who that is I think of Christ. I know that Christ above all else is there for me no matter what situation I’m in, where I am, or how far off the path I’ve gotten. Something I’ve struggled with as of late is how individuals have been treating me. I have had several friends turn their backs on me, and walk away for one reason or another. I have put a lot of thought and self-reflection as to why that might be. I often think back to Job. As Job looses everything one by one he asks his good buddies to come over to his house. We all want to be around people to just lean on when things are tough. We expect our friends to help us bare our crosses, help us get through. When you’re single you expect your friends to get you out of the house. When you’re grieving for the loss of loved ones you expect your friends to be there as a shoulder to cry on. We expect people to be there for us not just because we feel it’s the right thing to do, but it’s actually what they are supposed to do. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.” Why is this so difficult for some to do?

I know a doctor trained in Dialectible Behavior Therapy, and I asked why as a people do we focus so much on the negative rather then the positive. The answer was fairly straight forward, she said, our brains have a natural response to negative because that’s what keeps us alive. The negative actions stand out because it goes against the grain. Driving along going home you pass by a dozen cars doing the right thing, but then a car cuts you off. You won’t remember the 12 cars doing the right thing, that 1 car however will be what stands out. The more I thought about what she said the more it made sense.

I have been using Facebook lately to spread the word of this blog. I post once or twice a day, and as I have felt my blog has been doing well, I’ve noticed amongst my Facebook friends it’s not really picked up. I went about 2 months without posting anything except the auto post of my blog. I had a rough day and I posted something about manners, how some people will just leave you high and dry and how rude I felt that was. My page exploded with angry posts about how people are busy, and I shouldn’t be shaming my friends, and how I should keep those types of posts to myself. I was in shock to see such feedback. I post some beautiful pieces of writing, highly uplifting, and scripturally based, and I don’t get more then maybe 1 thumb up 4-5 if I’m truly lucky. Of all things to get noticed this one factual and understandable frustration gets all the attention. I thought to myself, what about everything else I’ve done? The fact is that it matters to the people who read it, and those who don’t see only what they want to see.

Love is harder then hate. Thinking positive is harder then negative, and those who do think positive have to work harder. If it’s true that our brains are naturally wired to focus on the negative things for whatever reason, being negative is the easy way out. Learning to focus on God, and do Gods will is a difficult road. As many of my so called friends have abandoned ship, I find it interesting that they do so when I fully devote my life to Jesus. It seems my life is going through a process of cleansing, weeding out those who are of little use to my ministry. The ones left in my life will be the ones who’ve helped me bare my cross when it was too heavy to carry. We must learn to walk with patience and love for our brothers and sisters who’ve yet to realize the true power of the Holy Spirit. The Cross is heavy for us all to bare and for some the cross can be so heavy we collapse under the weight of it. We have to have more patience with our loved ones, and understand that how we treat someone when they are going through a hard time is going to be remembered. How do you want to be treated with your life is in shambles? Make the choice to lift up your neighbors and help them in their time of need. No they may not take your advice, but if you just offer an ear, just be there to let them know you care, that itself will go a long way. We aren’t always there to fix their problems, often just to be a listening post, and a shoulder. Be kind because it only takes a moment without hope to watch the candle be extinguished. Remind people by your actions that good people still exist. Remind them that love is still stronger then hate. And if you ever have a problem you just can’t carry, lean on me.