Tag: god

The Cold Chill

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The Cold Chill

The weather outside is frightful, the cold frigged air has settled in, and the heavy coats and hats have come out of storage. The high today is less then 30*, the low is around 10*. What if the weather isn’t the only thing cold these days?

Have you ever felt as if you were getting the cold shoulder from someone? What about God, have you ever felt you’ve been getting the cold shoulder from God? We will look at scripture and deal with the cold shoulders from friends.

When God is silent there is a reason. In some situations God will allow us to run the course we’ve set. He will give us the chance to come back to Him on our own, and of our own free will. Isaiah 57:11 “Of whom were you worried and fearful When you lied, and did not remember Me Nor give Me a thought? Was I not silent even for a long time So you do not fear Me? When we sin and we sin often with no repercussions we become complacent to the words of the Lord. We fear nothing, and we fear no one. The problem is “The bill comes due… Always.” (Dr. Strange) No matter how long we keep the tab open, eventually we need to close out. God will allow us to rack up the tab without interference. Psalm 50:21 “These things you have done, and I have been silent; you thought that I[c] was one like yourself. But now I rebuke you and lay the charge before you.”

God even silent is always with us. God will never forsake you, and he will never abandon you. God is not like man, whereas man will leave you, forsake you, lie to you, cheat you, and hurt you, God will always love you. No matter what you may be going through, if it’s of your own doing, or someone else’s, God is always with you. It may be hard to stomach when friends fail you. It’s hard to know that maybe your friends don’t reciprocate the same feelings. It’s hard to realize you may feel more strongly about your friends then they do towards you. You won’t always feel the same about people that they do you. Our lives may lead us to feel more deeply for our friendships for one reason or another. Yes it is hard when you go day after day and your friends don’t reach out to you. It’s hard to be on your own. It’s hard to feel like you have no one to turn to, to spend time with, but know that while that may be the case, God is always with you.

You may be alone on this world today, but we never know what we will have tomorrow. It’s not easy to live feeling alone. Loneliness is a dangerous feeling. These feelings can spawn questions of your hope, but you need to resist the lies of the deceiver. When you’re feeling alone, and feeling down, you need to ask God for guidance. You need to get up and get out, finding your new place in this world. The struggles we face may be hard in the moment, but we have to keep pushing forward.

 

A Hospital Day

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A Hospital Day

After waking up in agonizing pain I quickly realized something was wrong. My back hurting before I went to bed turned into unbearable abdomen pain. I quickly realized I was in trouble when I collapsed in the living room. My mother quickly got dressed to take me to the VA ER. I was admitted quickly and within minutes I was hooked up to an IV and I was getting nausea medication and pain medicine. The trip to the ER was difficult. During the 30-minute car ride I got sick out the window twice. The immense pain caused me to get sick, and then again on the hospital bed.

Within moments of receiving the first round of meds I began to feel better. Less then an hour later I was getting a CT of my gut and surrounding organs. The first thought was my Gal Bladder. This was ruled out after everything came back okay. Either my back was having major spasms, or I had a bacterial/viral infection in my intestinal tract. I was eventually released to go home. 3 days of light liquid diet of nothing but soups.

Once I returned home I was so tired I fell asleep quickly and slept most of the afternoon. When I got up it was time to go to the Christmas Cantata. This year the cantata was amazing. The singers this year were fantastic and of course the narration was great.

No matter the pitfalls that may come in your day, your week, your year, you will always have the chance to reflect on the years past and remember that the only thing worthwhile is the knowledge that at some point 2000 years ago a baby was born. A baby that would one day grow to sacrifice himself to be the salvation for all of our sins. We are a fallen world and we would be without hope if we didn’t have Christ. We cannot hope to overcome sin on our own. We need to understand that in order to do that we must follow the light of the entire world. The prince of peace came and lived with us as one of us but also apart so we may relate to God, and know that God relates to us. We can only put our faith in one place and that’s the Lord above. No matter how bad things get we know that God’s still with us, God’s always in control, and we can take comfort in that.

You may be sick, you may be down on your luck, you may be in pain both physical or emotional, but in this time of year, try not to let the holiday blues take over, instead try to find something selfless to do. Try to remember the season of giving, the season of good will towards others, and to love your neighbor.

Love CHRIST and celebrate His Risen Birthday! This the Birthday we should always want to celebrate.

Christmas Wish

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Christmas Wish

The weather turns cold and the air is crisp. It bites and buries deep down into your bones. The Christmas tree is up, the lights are on, and the Christmas cheer is strewn about nearly everywhere you look. When you think about yourself this holiday season, how do you feel? Are you Scrooge, the Grinch, or jolly old Saint Nick? Are you finding your cheer, or are you feeling down? For many reasons a person can become depressed during the holidays even amidst the joy that comes celebrating the messiah’s birthday!

This year I find myself struggling with the realization that I am still alone a second Christmas in a row. It’s hard for me watching friends post family photos, and how many of them are starting families, or growing their family this time of year. I’ve found it difficult to maintain the smile I put on my face. The family reminder is hard, and knowing mine was torn apart and wishing for a family of my own has created a rough time. It’s hard watching as everyone I know seems to be so happy, and nearly complete. The hardest part about the holidays is not having someone special in your life to experience it with.

They say that this time of year all manner of miracles could happen. As I have prayed for a Christmas Miracle I realize that it’s only a matter if it’s something God wants for me right now. We must always remember that sometimes we want what we want, but it’s not what God wants for us. While I have spent over a year picking up the pieces of my broken heart, I have not found any comfort or solace in that time. I keep pushing forward one step at a time no matter how hopeless I often feel. The pieces of my heart look like a shattered ornament bulb broken on the floor. I’ve tried to tape it back together, but it’s hard to keep it from crumbling.

I know it’s probably a lot to ask for, but my grown up Christmas wish this year is to have someone special love me as much as I do them. It may sound silly, but it’s all I really want. I’ve had a slew of strange events happen to me this year, and I remember every day to keep and hold onto my faith. I know that the power of Love God has for me will never die, and will never loose it’s strength. No matter how far I feel I’ve fallen God is right there with me. I can fall over and over and God will always pick me up. I am weak and I know God’s love and grace should be enough for me, but it’s hard. I can only keep putting one foot in front of the other in hopes that one day I will learn to run again.

This is my Christmas wish, my one hope, my only request; I wish to not be alone for yet another year. I wish to have someone fall for me as I do them, deeply in love. I wish to feel something I’ve not felt before, and I wish to experience things I haven’t yet felt. I pray for my heart be healed and mended back together. I pray for these things as my one and only Christmas wish. In the name of God all things are possible, and if it’s not my time, I learn to understand that it’s about God’s time, not my own.

Amen.

Wants of Life

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Wants of life

Sometimes in life we can want something so badly but we never get it. I have experienced that a lot this last year. The things I’ve wanted and I have prayed for have never come to be. While I greatly appreciate the things I do have, there area couple of things I don’t have I long for and wonder why I’ve yet to be given the things I desire most.

We often ask ourselves what we’ve done to deserve such horrible things in our life. While sometimes our bad miss fortune comes from our own selfish and arrogant choices, sometimes bad things happen to the innocent just because of other people’s selfishness. In those bad times we may wish we had it better, or often say if I only had this life wouldn’t be so hard anymore. While these statements are true and probably have been uttered by nearly every one of us at some point, it’s the struggles in our life that truly define who we are. How one person deals with adversity is far more important then how hey deal with life’s bliss.

When we look to the things we desire we can’t always see the writing on the wall, that sometimes that thing, that one thing we wanted may actually not be good for us at all. Sometimes we should be thankful for unanswered prayers. We must accept

that if the time comes we will get what we want, and if we don’t there’s probably a reason for it.

My deepest desire is for a family of my own. To find a woman to love and cherish who will do the same to me. Someone I can have kids with and experience what it is to be a parent. While I’ve been so close to

That and have watched it crumble and be ripped away, I believe even though I’m incredibly lonely this holiday season, some day, my princess will come. (Yes I know it sounds cheesy)

Truly I would love for someone to take up the mantle of my Black Canary. I would love for someone to come into my life that will accept me, and help me along my path. You know you’re on the right path when in two people you find one another’s best selves. When you push each other to be better, to grow, to support one another. Having faith in those relationships despite my own horrors in my past relationships, it’s something I still dream about and long for.

Have faith that God is still there and if you haven’t gotten what you want, that you’re being prepared for it, or something better. God Loves his children and wants his children to be happy. Plans for joy, not pain. We must remember to have faith, keep the fire and light bright in our spirits and remember that God is supreme. Recognize the blessings this holiday season, and remember the reason we celebrate. It’s not the presents, it’s not the food, it’s the baby that so many years ago that was born to one day die to break the chains of eternal sin. Merry Christmas to all. And thank God for unanswered prayers.

Fortune Favors the Bold

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Fortune Favors the Bold

We stand before giants and we prepare for battle. We are toe to toe every day with the Devil and we stair down the taunting nature, the temptations, and the blatant attacks from the devil. On the path following Christ there are some distinct signs you’re doing it right. If you don’t have the Devil nipping at your heals, that means you’re not a threat, and he doesn’t need to knock you off your kilter. But for those who are under constant attack you must learn to be bold. Proverbs 28:1 “The wicked flee when no one is pursuing them, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.” When you look in the bible there are several names that stood tall in favor of being bold, and that boldness paid off. Philemon 1:8 “For this reason, although I have great boldness in Christ to command you to do what is right.” Ruth from the book of Ruth stood up to the enemies of her people, fought the fight, and saved thousands from being slaughtered. King David before he was king, stood toe to toe with Goliath and because he was bold and he had God on his side history favored him.

2 Corinthians 3:11-12 “So if the old way, which has been replaced, was glorious, how much more glorious is the new, which remains forever! Since this new way gives us such confidence, we can be very bold. Because of Christ and our faith in him, we can now come boldly and confidently into God’s presence.” No matter what situation we find ourselves we know we can be confident and rest assured that no matter where we may find ourselves, when we follow Christ no matter what we have God on our side. Romans 8:31 “What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” While this won’t always fix everything, and it might not always make us feel better, we can always find at least some peace knowing we are Gods children.

Hebrews 13:6 “So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.” Following Christ means we can be persecuted for our beliefs. The day may come when to follow Christ means to die for that belief. No matter what man may do to us, we know that we still have Heaven. We still have paradise, and when this world passes away, a new life is waiting for us. A life with no more tears, no more sorrow, no sadness, only joy, and perfection, and that has to give at least some comfort during the storm. So when the devil knocks at your door, when the wolf howls and tries to huff and puff and blow the house down, follow 1 Corinthians 16:13 “Remain alert. Keep standing firm in your faith. Keep on being courageous and strong.” Don’t back down when the Devil attacks, stand your ground. Fortune favors the bold, and it takes a bold stance to stand up to Satan and endure the attacks that come when you are steadfast in your faith.

 

My Super Power

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My Super Power

So this may come as a complete shock to most of you, but I have a super power. In the last year and after an exhaustive amount of time on dating sites, I have come to find I am invisible. The amount of greetings I’ve sent in a year verses the amount of new friends or relationships I’ve made being under 5 shows me I am likely to be invisible to most people. In my mind the more dating sites I joined the better my odds were at making friends, and finding a relationship.

When you send more then a dozen greetings in a day and yet I receive no replies. The truth is in today’s world online dating stinks. The internet is littered with people who try to con you, who try to use you, and that’s if you warrant the attention. Finding the frauds is more and more difficult as their game has changed. While their game changes it’s also important for mine to change.

For many people invisibility is a real annoying truth. Going all day with few people making an attempt to reach out, and not being able to make new connections, it’s been a long road. When you look at how those sites work they are largely looks based to start with. If you aren’t a 10 in this world you don’t get far. This world has become shallow and no longer cares about the deeper parts of a person, instead it’s worried about the way people look. The old saying never judge a book by its cover obviously never caught on. The point is, don’t lower your own standards to fit into the world. Never give up on your own biblical principles just because the world has. Never give up on your moral compass to fill the void you may have. It’s easy to get lonely and start to think of ways to fill that void, but the feeling that comes from putting your beliefs aside to make your worldly desires feel better is horrible.

It’s not easy spending the holidays alone, especially two in a row. It’s not easy to be lonely, it’s not easy to feel left out, or abandoned. It’s not easy feeling like there’s a void deep within your heart, but there’s hope. John 15:18-19 “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” It’s not easy being lonely day in and day out.

People in this life can be mean and cruel. They can try to use you, abuse your kindness, try to take advantage, and with all of that, the things some people say to you just hurts. I was talking with someone and offered to show them around town because they were new to the area. They wanted something from me, and when I refused they said my ex wife made the right choice in leaving me, that I wasn’t worth sticking around. Even though she was a stranger, the words still hurt. While it’s very common to run into people on the internet who try to scam you, or pray on your naivety, you have to have your wits.

It’s a sad reality to know that most people on these dating sites are out to get you. The vast majority of the people in my experience that have talked with me desire something. iTunes gift cards, transfer money through western union, or any number of other means. While it hurts to know I’m either invisible, or people think I’m easy prey. Regardless, it doesn’t make life easy when all your met with on your quest is negativity, and rejection. Both of them hurt, and when people don’t get what they want and they take a stab at hurting you, it’s a tough pill to swallow. The key is to remember that though you may be invisible to people because lets face it, people aren’t very nice sometimes, you’re never invisible to God. You are His creation, and he is our (Abba) father. He cares about you, he cares about your happiness, and your well being, so when people hurt you, God hurts for us. God is never not with us, and you will always be a priority for God. Both good and bad, God wants us to be happy. God wants us to have a relationship with Him. Yes it’s hard to be alone during the holidays especially, but in that time alone, at least try to take some comfort knowing that the Father of the universe, the King on the throne, the creator of life and Heaven, knows you and loves you. You can’t deny how amazing that is, that even in our tiny little lives, God loves us so much, that Jesus Died for our, and even if it was just one of us, Jesus would have given His life.

My super power may be invisibility at the moment, but one day, my kindness, my generosity, my love and compassion will pay off, and my obedience to the Lord, my love for people, and my steadfast stance against the Devils attacks, I will be rewarded in abundance for my actions. And to borrow a line from the Dark Knight himself, “It’s not who I underneath, but what I do that defines me!” Don’t let other people’s opinions destroy you. Yes it hurts, yes, the words sting and you will feel it, but don’t let it break you. You aren’t trash because God doesn’t make trash. You aren’t a mistake because God doesn’t make mistakes. You are perfectly made, and somewhere out there, there’s someone perfectly made for you. Don’t give up hope, and never quit.

Season to Give

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Season to Give

We are in the season of good will, a season of being thankful and grateful, but what’s that mean? In this life we can choose the life of light or life in the dark. If you put a little love in your heart the world would be a better place. This is a season of love, and to love your fellow man. Jesus came to this world to love us, to die for us, to save us from ourselves and sin. Seasons greetings and happy holidays.

There are so many needy families out there that this holiday season is just a reminder how bad things are for them. It’s hard to see the reminder of how life has been hard, and discouraging. Those who have the ability to lend a helping hand should. It’s the strong’s responsibility to protect the weak. Psalm 34:8 “8 Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.” We may have the power to drastically change the lives of just one family, but I guarantee that family will forever remember.

We may not always be able to save everyone, but we can do the best we can. Growing up in a mostly poor home, I remember the struggles. The kindness of strangers often changed my life forever, and now that I’m older I feel the need to pay it forward. Paying it forward is the best gift we can give to someone.

Merry Christmas to All

 

 

 

 

All our Hope

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All our hope

All we can do is drop to our knees and pray, placing all our hope in Jesus. I know I’m not worthy to inherit the Kingdom of Heaven, but God is big and I am small. Some people are cruel, and manipulative. Pray to God for their souls, pray to God for the change that needs to happen.

I’ve been down on my knees a lot lately. I’ve been taken to the emotional woodshed, and all I can say is Thank God yesterday’s gone. Im no stranger to pain, no stranger to heartache and heartbreak, but I’m free and I’m saved in the Blood of Christ. We can be beaten, tortured, we can loose it all on this world, and we can be broken down, we can be so hurt we may not feel like we can breathe anymore, but if you can still draw breath, then the hope in Christ, all our sins are forgiven, our tears will one day be wiped away, and the pain of yesterday will be gone.

There’s nothing anyone can do to take your salvation away. Your heart for Jesus will outlive your pain, the attacks you will face daily. ‘If you can take it you can make it’ unbroken.

Finding Love This Holiday

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Finding Love This Holiday

It’s been over a year now since my wife separated from me. In that time I have spent an exhaustive amount of time trying to broaden my social life, along with that, I’ve tried to get back into the dating world. It’s not an easy task when you don’t have a solid social life to start with. Getting back out there is hard enough when you have a ton of friends let alone, when you don’t. The most common advice I get is to just be patient and don’t look for it. The other is all in good time. See here’s the thing with that, if I don’t try, it won’t happen. Cause and effect, if I sit at home alone every day people aren’t going to just come to me. In order for me to legitimately find new friends, and perhaps a new relationship, I need to actually be proactive. Nothing happens without work or effort.

Something else I’ve heard far to often is learning to be content being on my own. It literally drives me nuts when people give blanket advice and really have no idea about the whole situation. People like to give advice without thinking of the actual situation someone’s in. There’s a level of isolationism that’s not healthy, and while isolation isn’t healthy in long exposure, there are times when it’s healthy. When you are feeling vulnerable like a live wire isolation is the worst thing for you. When you go through a divorce or separation, the experts say to have a healthy budding social life, not to isolate yourself. While there is something to be said about self-reflection during times like that, that’s not the same thing as not getting out or going anywhere. If you only go out once every 3 months or so, and you don’t spend time with people in between any of that, it’s likely the effects of isolation will be more detrimental then the ability to pull positive lessons from it.

All that being said, I would like you to think about the type of friend you are, and the type of people who are in your life. Everyone is going through something and while I’m not excusing gross negativity, what I am saying is be empathetic for the blight that has fallen upon your loved ones this year. Everyone endures struggles, but some endure more then others. Some people who are alone this year can find themselves feeling more lonely, and are more likely to fall into depression.

In my own life not only have I fallen into a tough spot to be, but I’ve had a mass exodus of friends, and some close friends in the last year. People in my life I never thought would leave or abandon our friendship have left without so much as a single word of explanation. While it’s true, everything works out for the glory of God, that doesn’t make the sting of disappointment any less, or the heartbreak from loosing people I cared deeply for. It’s not easy loosing people, even if they say it’s for the best. The cause and effect however still remains the same. I know to many people who have suffered great losses this year and can always use a little extra love.

My hope this holiday season is to find someone who truly wants to be with me for me. Someone who cares for me, and the season will end for me, and a new one begins. While I would love to enter in a beautiful relationship, I also want to have a budding social life. I crave social interaction and wish to have a solid group of friends. While I understand I may need to continue to be patient for this, I can still wish for a Christmas miracle. Remember though there are a lot of people out there, and several you would probably find within your own circle of friends. Don’t forget them this year, don’t forget the losses people experience and how that may affect them around the holidays. Try to lift them up and be there for them. It may not be a lot, but for some that little extra effort may be the difference in all the world. I realize people get busy around the holidays, but any extra effort won’t go unnoticed.

 

 

Breaks my Heart

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Breaks my Heart

Going into this holiday season it breaks my heart to think about all those people out there who are suffering, who’ve lost everything, who feel hopeless. It breaks my heart to think about all those people who are without homes, without family, and have so much less then I do. I was just in Hawaii and the number of homeless is staggering. I’ve been all over the world and I’ve seen what poverty looks like up close. I’ve seen homes made of mud and no floors. I’ve seen houses made of scrap metal and tin, and we in America take for granted many of the gifts we have. It breaks my heart those who suffer from heartbreak this time of year. How many people suffer through divorce, or death, or loss of jobs this time of year? This time of year is hardest on people, and also the most joyful, but we can’t forget what it’s all about.

 

It’s hard being alone not having someone to share this time of year with. I miss going Christmas shopping, and cuddling by the fire watching Christmas movies. I miss sharing a glass of eggnog, and awaiting the look on my love’s face when they open the perfect gift. It’s a hard time for me this year, and even as hard as it is for me, I know others, many, many others, have it so much then myself. I feel more connected to the suffering of others this year then I have in the past.

 

This time of year we remember the goodness in our lives. We remember that the Son of the Lord was born and we celebrate the birth of our Savior. We celebrate the birth of a Child that would grow to take our sins upon himself and pay for our sins in innocent blood. The Lord blesses us every day and we often take those blessings for granted. When I look at all the suffering in this world I feel so small, what can I possibly do?

 

When I was in Hawaii recently I looked around and realized how blessed I was. I was in a wonderful place, with beautiful caring people, and I thought about those who where far worse off then me. All we can do is believe that God’s in charge and have faith that it’s working out. We have the ability to change the lives of those around us, if we just have the eyes and the heart to fight for change. We can’t always change or save everyone, but we can try.

 

Remember this time of year isn’t about the shiny baubles, the gifts, the shiny lights and colors, it’s about the good will towards your fellow neighbors. It’s about celebrating the birth of our savior Jesus Christ. We need to take a step back from the commercials, the drive to shop till you drop, and all the other things that draws your attention from the true beauty of our holiday. Of course enjoy the holiday and all that goes will, just make sure you don’t loose that focus. Take a little thought and pray for those who are less fortunate. It’s cold this time a year and there are families without food, without heat, and many without a home. Pray for them, and do something nice. Good will towards your fellow humans. Be kind, and be generous.