Tag: Friendships

The Truth Is

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The days tick by since I heard from you last. I check in because I know, I know the struggles you’ve had. I send a message, then another. I finally realize you’d seen them, but still, I wait for what seems to be forever, and still no reply. How many times must I wait? How many times will we talk about how it makes me feel? How many times will I wait and wonder, wait and question, wait and think it was me? How many times will I be made to feel it’s my fault? How many times will I be made to think I expect too much? I have spent a lifetime being made to feel I wasn’t good enough. I have spent a lifetime being left behind, tossed aside. I have spent a lifetime being told I just wasn’t good enough. 

The truth is…. The truth is, I have spent so much time thinking the worst of myself. While it’s true I deserve Hell, and I have never and will never be good enough to grace the gates of Heaven, the truth is, while I am not worth saving, I am saved by grace, not of my own value for the sake of having value, but I am valued because God the Father values me. If God can see my value, and see my heart, and you, all of you, cannot, the problem is not with me, but sadly with your own hearts. How many hours have I devoted to sharing love with you, to share God’s grace, and hope with you? How many times have I watched the self-destructive path? How many times have I heard the apology and the promise of change? How many broken promises have I heard? How many times have I cried over loss, one after another? How many times have I beat myself down over feeling I was never good enough? 

The truth is…. The truth is, it’s been too often. I have forgotten the nature of our hearts. I have forgotten the true place we belong, and the true master in which we worship. Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” We fall upon the worlds stage and we give in to the lusts of our heart. We follow the world and we obey the master the Devil in such things. Those who do not know Christ serve the Devil in his ways. Some people want to use you. Some people want nothing to do with you. Some want power over you. What comes from within? What lives within us all? Mark 7:21-22 21”For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, 22Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness:” We are foolish creatures, we are selfish creatures, we are blind sinful creatures. 

The truth is…. The truth is, it isn’t your fault. Sinners gonna sin, and for me to expect so much from someone still plugged in to this wretched world, I cannot expect change. I cannot expect behavior that is against that which is born out of evil and wickedness to change. See, it isn’t you, no, not just you reading this, but so, so many people. This message goes out to all. How do we treat others? How do we send messages without sending messages/ Do we give one excuse after another? Perfection is not what’s asked for. Apologies are no longer being sought. Forgivness is what I offer here. I can’t sit around and hope and wait for change while I am the one hurt over and over, expecting this next time will be different. I can’t sit around wondering why I wasn’t good enough. I can’t sit and wonder what I had done wrong for you to not want me around anymore. I have been broken so many times I wonder what it is I feel now. I can remember feeling so deeply about things in my life, and now the scar tissue, the wounds surrounding my heart and mind make even the most obvious responses seem strange, far from me. The person I was seems gone, and lost forever, but my hope is in Jesus, and one day, I will be healed from years of neglect. I have a long way to go before I recognize myself, but I cannot hold on to friendships that aren’t trying to hold on to me. I shall not burn a bridge, and my door will always be available, but like a busy party, I shall quietly let myself out. I will walk away, and I shall attempt to hold my head high. The Holidays are hard, and feelings are like a live wire, sensitive to the touch. I turn my collar to the cold, as I walk away from the frigid feeling deep within. The bright son awaits to warm me, to touch my heart, and heal the wounds within. No longer can I be held captive to the lies of the Devil. No longer can I listen to the voice of fear deep within. The Devil has lied to me my whole life. The trials I faced, the hurt inflicted upon me, the hurt that is still being inflicted, I cannot allow. I cannot voluntarily take upon more cuts that are not mine to bare. A fool I have been thinking I can fix all those whom I encounter, that walk-in darkness. A fool I thought I could be a hero, a white knight. Thankless, and indeed pride, I shall let go of, and humble myself before the Lord of Lords, and beg for a sentence deserved to be commuted. In the light I saw tomorrow, a future not what I deserve, but rather one of hope, and not the darkness all around. The cancer grew deep inside, and I seek the physician to remove this sickness from me, and replace it with a new heart. 

The truth is… The truth is, I forgive the hurt, the pain, the careless neglect. The truth is, I let it go, and I forgive, not because we are deserving of forgiveness, but I trust as Jesus said “forgive them for they do not know what they do.” So, as my Lord has forgiven me, as I shall forgive you. Peace and love be upon you, and I pray for the light to find you, and pull you from the dark hold you are in. I pray Satan’s grasp upon you is broken, and the light of the Son, Jesus, makes the demons retreat in terror, and you are set free. I pray, and I pray, in love. The truth is… The truth is Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. 

Point Of View

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Point Of View 

“From my point of view the Jedi are evil!” Anakin Skywalker. This was when we knew and understood that Anakin Skywalker had truly fallen to the dark side. We see how from his particular point of view the Jedi no longer stood for what they truly believed in, that they were in fact too weak to bring order to the galaxy. A story not too dissimilar then that of Satan standing and turning against God. From Satan’s point of view, God wasn’t doing a good enough job, and be it jealousy of humanity, or not enough attention, or something else entirely, Satan felt he could do a better job ruling over the galaxy and attempted to overthrow God, foolishly I might add. But, in Satan’s story, we Christians, God Himself are the bad guys. We have a hard time understanding that, and moreover we as humans have an even harder time separating truth from opinion, from point of view. 

We often say truth is relative, but that’s a farce. There is no such thing as relative truth. There may be a difference in point of view, but that hardly means one thing is true for someone, is not true for someone else. This pizza taste great, is not a truth, it’s an opinion. Abortion is okay, is both an opinion, but also can be settled by what is true. To some people murder is okay, but as society goes, as scripture goes, cold blooded murder is not. This is a truth. As far as truth goes, it is defined as such “That which is true or in accordance with fact or reality.” (Websters) Now, let me preface this by stating we as humans have often said something was true that clearly we were wrong. We have often stated things such as the sound barrier could never be broken, or the earth was flat, or the center of the universe, or faster than light travel is impossible, all of which have now been deemed possible or plausible, or flat truth, pardon the pun. Scripture, however, when examined correctly, carefully, and objectively will indeed reveal truth. For this particular argument I will offer up two authors and Christians, (Former Atheists) who would do a far better job at explaining why this is true. “A Case for Christ: Lee Strobel” And “Cold Case Christianity: J. Werner Wallace”

While point of view is important, and I daresay vital to the discussion, we have gotten so far away from respectful discord, to building walls. I find it ironic that a southern border wall is such a hot button topic for so many, but in the same breath determine that the conversation of Christianity is met with walls. We have gone so far now as to try and live without laws, live without rules, and determine that these things are fluid concepts, and thus by definition fit the term anarchy, “a state of disorder due to absence or nonrecognition of authority.” If there are no true rules, no true right and wrong, then law and order will constantly be under attack from both criminals, and those sympathetic to them. I can show you what this kind of behavior and ideas gets you. 

Once upon a time, and man beloved by the people is hailed as a hero, and welcomed with open arms, and a party. This man was conspired against by the elite and the powerful. The people then were gathered together to witness a trial, charges brought against this man. When given the chance, a swap was offered, the innocent man, or the man known to be a vial criminal, with a long history of crimes. The innocent man was called to be put to death. We today essentially do the same thing all around us. We make choices of innocent and guilty within moments of a news broadcast. We determine guilt or cause before the truth comes out. We have little care or worries about truth anymore. Today if we feel something, then it is right for ‘us’. While of course this is true of some things, which cheese is the best, which football team is the best, etc. This does not have a complete blanket to cover everything. I have been putting much thought into the term truth. Many years ago I experienced an event that I knew was my fault. I believed entirely that I was to blame, and my hurt and heartache was punishment for my wrong doing. I spent so much time believing this as truth, that I missed out on something important. People will say and do things to you, things that hurt, and it’s often done out of anger, but that doesn’t make them true.  Let me explain. When I was a younger man I got married out of love. Foolish, but true. I let go of my dreams, my career, and my brothers for a woman. I would get married quickly, but assuredly and would end up moving across the world to live in another country. After just a few short years, I would find out about an affair, and it would leave my life in shambles, rebuilding, and at a loss. God would see fit to give me someone new, and for a few years we would build a good life for ourselves. Sadly, after seven years together, I would endure yet another affair, and watch this time a my entire foundation cracked and the walls crumbled down upon me. A foundation that was not built with God in the center of my relationship. God was not my foundation, even though he was in my life, he was not what I built my house on. That is the truth. The truth I gravitated too was, it had to be me. I was the one at fault. I was the one that pushed them away. I was the one they choose to leave, and I was the common denominator. I allowed this to permeate my entire body and I accepted it as truth. I let the pain and suffering I was experiencing, alter my perspective. I blamed God for my suffering, and I was angry, hurt, and for lack of a better term, I was a broken man. It’s easy to let circumstances sway our perspective, even if we know the truth. Look at the word happy for an example. What makes you happy, think about it for a moment. For some of you, you thought about a food, perhaps an alcoholic beverage, or maybe someone. Some people might have thought about a new home, or a new job? The thing with all of these, is while there’s nothing inherently wrong with these things (unless the person is not your spouse if you’re married, then yes, that one isn’t part of the discussion. But otherwise, every new home comes with its own set of problems. Every new job comes with a litany of its own troubles. Even relationships come with a new set of problems.

Christmas this year is that for many. Christmas this year as many have called the least ‘Christmasy’ feel they’ve ever felt. I myself have felt this way, but the truth is, we have so much to be thankful for. Our emotions are easily swayed, and because our happiness fluctuates so easily, the voice of darkness easily creeps in when we are not vigilant. I have watched as friends come and go in the past years. I have watched as opinions change, and paths diverge. I would like to say this, may this Christmas bring you healing, and reconnection. May this coming year be a reminder how fragile our lives are. We all have our own points of view, our own vantage points, but we must be able to look past and show love and compassion. If we have learned nothing this year except how important relationships are, and how divided we’ve become. So many opinions floating around, and through it all, we see fractures not only in our country, but in families, in friendships, and it’s heartbreaking. While we all have our own opinions whether or not they are based on facts, we must learn to listen, learn to talk, and more importantly, we must learn to hear. While there are many great and wonderful stories of people coming together to love and help their fellow man, we have also seen a year of great turmoil, and heartache. For a country bleeding, for a country splitting at the seams, one would think we would be coming together. The sad reality is, we’ve let our points of view, our vantage points be a place of contention and we aren’t willing to hear what the other side has to say. We are all to busy walking away from relationships, friendships, or too busy talking to hear. 

Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” We must consider what hills do we want to fight for, or what can we let go of? We need to learn to communicate more, and be more willing to sit down and talk. We should not be walking away from meaningful relationships, meaningful friendships, for little cause. Truth is found where there is evidence. Real truth is not subjective, and the truth is we need one another now more than ever. Fellowship is so important to Gods creation. God said to Adam, it is not good for you to be alone. While we cannot meet in person we can still communicate through technology. Hebrews 10:25 “Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” Are we making it a habit of ignoring friends? Are we making it a habit of walking away from people? Are we making it a habit to close doors simply because of an opinion difference? Whatever the cause the question is did we do anything to reason or rectify any wrongs? 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”

We all have fallen short of the Glory of God. We must be gracious, filled with mercy, and love, and compassion. Let us remember who the enemy is, and divided we are a much easier target. Let us set aside our petty differences, and come together under the blood of Christ, and show true love to one another. Let us celebrate this Christmas holiday for what it is, the celebration of the birth of Christ. Christ our Lord and Savior who was born, raised by Marry and Joseph, ordained by God, led a perfect, sinless life, and was crucified under Pontius Pilate. He was buried and on the third day rose again. He walked with the people for 40 day, and ascended into Heaven. This is truth. This is true, and accurate, and evidence driven truth. Jesus Christ concurred death, and has given us hope. Let us not grow weary of doing good in the name of Christ. Let us be renewed daily of His Spirit. Let us build up one another, especially after such a hard year. Say I love you more often. Hug a little tighter. Speak cheer more frequently, and reconnect with those you’ve been away from for far too long. The Angels said this, Luke 2:10 “Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.” We have so much to be thankful for, and so much to place our joy in, we should be sharing that love to all we can. Despite having such a hard year, every day is a new day, and we are given new chances to do great things with every day. Don’t let the Devil tell you, you can’t, you shouldn’t, you aren’t worthy, you are too far gone, or it’s too late. Don’t allow the lies to permeate your ears and rob you of your joy. From the Devils perspective God is the evil one, and that’s why Satan, Lucifer is truly lost. Emotions clouded his judgment and he missed out on the relationship with God. Don’t miss out in your own relationships with God, and those around you. Rise up, and have a very joyful, and Merry Christmas, because there’s so much, truly, to be joyful about. Count your blessings, big and small, and you too will see, Glory to God in the Highest, and Peace and Good Will Towards All Men/Women. 

Ashes Ashes, They All Fall Down

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Ashes Ashes, They All Fall Down

The tongue is a powerful tool. So many people will come and go out of your life, but I think we’ve lost the ability to truly care for people. How I’ve seen friendships grow, and grow, and yet in the blink of an eye crumble like a house made of cards. The spark that lit the match and the whole of the friendship burnt down to ash all around. The tongue has the ability to lift up and do and say great things, but at the same time it can destroy, and tear down all manner of friendships. Scripture is very clear about the power of the tongue, and love. Both of which go hand in hand, but how often is the words in the Holiest of Holy books ignored. What does scripture say about the tongue and what we say? 

Proverbs 21:23 (NKJV)

23 “Whoever guards his mouth and tongue

Keeps his soul from troubles.”

Ephesians 4:29 (NKJV)

29 “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary [a]edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”

Proverbs 12:18 New King James Version (NKJV)

18 “There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword,

But the tongue of the wise promotes health.”

When people are wounded they often justify the hurting of others. They say and do anything to make sure they don’t get hurt, and if that means they shut themselves off from the world and caring for others, the sad fact is, it happens all the time. 

In the last…. Well most of my life, I’ve watched my friendships, and relationships build up, and then in the blink of an eye topple over and burn to the ground in ash. In fact, it hasn’t just been friendships I’ve watched burn to the ground but nearly all relationships that I’ve held most dear. Not a day goes by when I don’t look to the future and wonder what my days will hold. Every day I walk is a day I have to put forth effort. Every day I watch my steps, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t wonder what relationship was going to burn to the ground on any given day. Some may call it cynical, but from my perspective, it’s more of a manner of time then anything else. Wounds made by the tongue are hard to get over sometimes. Wounds that are from the collapse of a relationship (friendship, marriage, etc.) are even harder to manage. It took me years to realize the hurtful nature of people, and even longer to realize the love and mercy of my Abba Father. Despite so many losses, through it all I know that my God is still by my side daily. It’s taken me years of hurt, and heartache to get to a point where I am no longer crushed under the waves of the sea. 

When we care for someone, or care for people, how must we act? We are told time and again how important our tongue is, and how damaging it can be. I myself am not free from sin in the matter. In my past I’ve often let things from my lips that I knew where hurtful, specifically because I was hurt, and in my vanity and in my pride, I wanted to send my pain right back at the other person. Love is the only way to fight evil. Love is the only way to return pain that can be inflicted. The old Axum is true “hurting people hurt others.” Love however, is not just love of a spouse but the love we must all share for one another. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NKJV)

“4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not [a]puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, [b Keeps no accounts of evil] Thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

If love suffers long, that means being first in line that suffering long is the most important aspect of love. It also keeps no record of wrong doing. If we are to love in this manner, that means we are to speak no ill words towards those we love. Sadly this is perhaps the most difficult thing people will face in their lives. This world hurts us deeply and that anger, and resentment quickly hardens the heart. Fear of being hurt can often turn outwards and instead of words being used to lift up, to show love, to show kindness, that fear sabotages friendships, or relationships and sinks ships. 

When words are thrown around, or even when actions against someone is taken, behind it all at the root of it all is self. Even if the root is self-preservation, the base is self, and self often leads to sin. Sin destroys everything it touches. Sin is cancer, it’s a disease, it’s the cause of evil in the world. Sin is what causes our lips to spew venom. The lips and the forked tongue behind them are the most powerful weapon on the planet, and sadly the amount of broken hearts, the amount of tears, the amount of pain that’s it caused far surpass the number of dead throughout all eternity. The tongue is such a small little thing, yet driven by the sinful heart, produces terrible amounts of pain. 

In my life I’ve been blamed for my own suffering. I’ve been told I was worthless. I have been told I should kill myself. I’ve bene told I was ugly. I’ve been told I would never find happiness. I’ve been told I deserved to be cheated on. I’ve been told I was so awful that anyone around me would want to kill themselves just to get away from me. The list could go on for miles, but I think the point has been made. Eminem once said “they can be great Or they can degrade, or even worse they can teach hate” (Sing for the moment, Eminem). How true, words have such power. In a life lived where there’s been so many words pointed in my direction, how have I managed to push forward? In some instances I’m still working on it. I’ve slowly come to realize just because someone says something doesn’t make it true. Even though the words hurt, there is power in love and forgiveness. Despite the failings, and the destruction of so many different relationships through the years, I try to maintain optimism that each and every new friendship will be different. This isn’t always the case, and I sometimes find myself being hurt, abandoned, or ‘ghosted’ in today’s society. It isn’t easy watching people leave, or have such a disregard for someone’s feelings, but we must remember that to put our faith in people is foolish. Placing your faith in God is the only absolute. People and their sin nature will let you down, they will hurt you, they will fail you, and you will be powerless to stop it. It’s not easy, or fair, but it’s the sad reality of living in a fallen world. I’ve watched helplessly as friendships fell to ruin, and I always blamed myself. I felt I was at fault, and it was me. Perhaps to some extent it was me, but what’s more likely is my taste in friends. If I choose friends who will speak ill, abandon me in a time of need, only come around when they need something, then apropos they are not the Christian friends I need or needed in my life. 

Hold onto the friendships you can, and those you can’t, let them go. Hold onto the relationships you can but the ones that will leave you, let them leave, and remember Jesus Christ will never leave, nor will he ever forsake you. Hope misplaced can be devastating, so we must hope in the Lord, and hope for the best in people, but prepare for the worst from them. The Lord’s love is never in question, nor is his presence in your life. There is only one cure for sin and that’s Jesus Christ, but so long as we live in this world, even those who know Christ are still subject to sin, and thus still subject to letting down those they care for. Don’t let a forked tongue burn down your relationships. Don’t let hateful speech flow from your lips. Don’t let words that do not build up break the sound waves. Don’t let your friendships turn to ash. Don’t let your relationship be damaged by words of hate or anger. Hold your tongue, hold your voice. Just because something is the truth doesn’t mean it has to be said. Just because you have a thought doesn’t mean it needs to be spoken. Remember that people have feelings and hurting someone is like hurting Jesus. We are one body in Christ and to hurt one is to hurt Christ. 

Hold yourself to a higher standard and really dive into scripture about how we are to talk to one another, behave towards one another, and how we expect God to behave towards us. We expect a different behavior from God, when we treat others badly. Don’t allow Satan to harden your heart with anger and hatred, and fear. God gives us a spirit of courage, not of fear. Don’t allow the song “ring around the rosy” to represent your friendships or relationships. As for me, I watch friendships dissolve to ash, and one by one they fall down. 

You’re Worth More Then You Think You Are

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You’re Worth More Then You Think You Are

I reached for you, but you had another idea. You blew me off, and got mad when I didn’t understand. You decided you didn’t need me, nor did you want me around. I didn’t understand. You said you cared, and yet you slapped my hand away when you were in need. I reached out for you, and you told me, I don’t need you. What more can I say, except if you don’t want me around, I don’t want to chase after you anymore.

I have spent so much worrying about why someone didn’t want me. I’ve spent so much time chasing after friends, always being the first to say hello, always being the first to ask how they are, always being the first to check on them, and after all this time, what do I have to show for it? I have wasted so much time feeling like it was me that wasn’t wanted, that it was me that was worthless, but really, I’m the one with the conscious. I’m the one with the compassion in my heart, because I know the love of Jesus Christ. I spent so much time thinking if I loved enough someone would love me in return. I spent so much time thinking if I showed how much I cared, showed my love every day, and tried to live up to scripture in love that I would be loved in return. I was wrong.

Luke 6:32-36“But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive back, what credit is that to you? For even sinners lend to sinners to receive as much back. 35 But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. 36 Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.”

All this time I didn’t understand the nature of some people. I didn’t understand the sinful mentality, which sin in it self is about ‘I’ about the selfish desires of what is wanted for self. I missed out on knowing how selfish, and manipulative people could be. I failed to understand that I would give and give and never receive anything in return. I would give everything I had till there was nothing more for me to give, or someone would take their fill, and move on. What do I have if nothing anyone wants for a long hall? Learning how not to allow people to use and take advantage is a process for me. I don’t see the signs like most people do, so my blindness hinders me from finding healthy friendships/relationships. I can’t place my worth, or value in the hands of sinners. I must learn to focus on the love of Jesus Christ, and let go of the painful losses of friends, and loved ones. I am worth more than the brokenness I experience. I am valued by the words of scripture that say I am bought by blood to be accepted in Heaven, and I am a child of God.

Romans 12:9-21 (NKJV)“9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. 10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; 11 not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; 12 rejoicing in hope, patient[a] in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; 13 distributing to the needs of the saints, given[b] to hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. 16 Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion.

17 Repay no one evil for evil. Have[c] regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 Therefore

 “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;

If he is thirsty, give him a drink;

For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”

21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

 

I have approached relationships all wrong most of my life. I have thought the more I gave I would get back something, but when you give to people who have no respect for the relationship you will never see any return. It hasn’t been about what I would get back, but when you give and give, and receive nothing, that’s not a friendship. When you give your heart to someone and they don’t return that love, that’s not love. I have believed people loved me and in the end, I was only lying to myself. It’s time I don’t spend resources on those who would only squander it for their own purposes. God says to be good stewards of what we have, and if I am wasting my time and love on those who don’t truly care about it, it’s time for me to hold onto what I have till people truly come around and desire my time, my affections, my love. I cannot allow myself to fall into despair anymore when someone decides they are done with me. I cannot allow the pain to fill me up and cast me into the darkness of depression. I must learn to change my cognition to a more self promoting thought process, and remember that my value is found in Christ, and if I am working for the Lord, his approval is all I need.

Hello my name is Child of the one true King. His blood has saved me, I’m special and I am more than what people have done to me. I am more than how people have treated me, and I am more than I feel about myself. I have been bought by a pure sacrifice and if I weren’t worth anything, why then would Jesus lay his life down for me? I am worth more then I think I am, and it’s about time I start to see that. I am broken on the inside and Jesus Christ is the one mending my spirit and my heart. It won’t happen over night, but slowly, I’m starting to understand.

The Power of Friendship

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The Power of Friendship

In my life I’ve not always been blessed with lasting friendships. I have met people that I once believed were friends that would eventually leave. I have been constantly in need of making new friends, new relationships. When I left my first high school I knew I’d have to start over, and with that fresh start hope to reinvent myself. I made friends over time, and I thought after four years the relationships I had made would last. Sadly as with all things, they rusted and began to fade away to the power of time. Now as an adult, years after my military service I have been left in search of those relationships yet again. While I have made some very strong relationships I have found few my age, and even fewer that I’m able to have a legitimate social circle. As I have grown older and with maturity have begun to realize even though my heart desires fellowship, and a closeness that seems elusive, I know that the one relationship that matters the most, is one that I have. The love and closeness of God is what’s gotten me through the dark times I’ve faced over the last two years.

I never would have dreamt two later I would be where I am. As I am not truly any further along then I was two years ago, I am on a new path. As I have had trials a plenty in that time, I haven’t felt as alone as I once had. I am able to maintain a sense of peace and joy because I know where my true joy comes from.  Psalm 3:3“But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts up my head.” I have been attacked over and over as my heart longs for better circumstances. I have tried to keep up my fortress and protect my heart and mind from the attacks of the great deceiver, but in my fleshy, sinful self, I have failed on numerous occasions. It’s in this failure I realize I am not strong enough alone. I would never be able to manage by myself so it’s that realization I seek answers in scripture. Psalm 46:1“God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.” I know where to pray, and how, and I appreciate the complexity of the relationship between God the one and only God, to a seemingly insignificant speck in the universe such as myself. That’s the biggest catch of all though isn’t it? We aren’t insignificant. We are important to God; we are loved by God, every single last one of us. We are created by God for a purpose and that purpose is to have a relationship with God. Every person alive has gifts given to us by God. Though we struggle at times, we are commanded to help one another. God however is the ultimate fortress. Psalm 71:3“Be my strong refuge, To which I may resort continually; You have given the commandment to save me, For You are my rock and my fortress.” Don’t doubt the love Jesus Christ has for you. Don’t doubt your importance. This life is ever changing, and when we assume we have no other options, that’s when we limit the power of God.

God is grace, and love, and hope. Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”The New Testament is full of the message of hope and love. The law had already been laid. The foundation was already set. The setting on earth was right, and ready for the most important message of scripture, Jesus Christ. Christ was the savior the OT spoke of so often. Jesus was blood scripture look forward to, and the blood we now look back to. Jesus came and gave us hope so we might not die. The promise of death made by God after eating the fruit from the forbidden tree set us on a path of hell, and yet God saw that wasn’t good, so He made the plan and promised a covenant for salvation. We find that promise fulfilled in history. Romans 12:12 “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” Galatians 5:22“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,” In life we can feel down, and we can feel crushed under the weight of our sorrow, and disappointment, and despair, but if we truly know Christ, and we can truly stand and say we know for a fact where we are going when we die, then there is no sense of letting this world crush your joy. Sure we may face situations that don’t try our patience, our resolve, but in all things we must grow closer to God. Proverbs 17:22“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”

 (Harry Potter : Deathly Hallows Pt. 2 Spoilers)

I was watching the movie Harry Potter recently and when I was thinking about it, it was love that saved Harry’s life. It was love that his parents showed to him. It was love that brought Harry, Ron, and Hermione together.

Love is why Christ chose to stay on the cross and shed his blood for us. Love is the greatest of all the commandments, and we must remember that in our day to day lives. It may not come down to how many friends you have, how big or small your family is, it’s the quality of those relationships. I am blessed with the friends I have now. While a part of my desire is not fulfilled, I know that if I were to ever need anything the friends I have would be there for me in a moments notice.

I have found it difficult to meet people who are mature and desire real friendships, real substance in those relationships, but thankfully, I have a few that I can trust and know that they aren’t going anywhere. It’s hard for me to comprehend someone who isn’t going to leave me. Most of my life I have faced friends leaving, or as I often thought of it, abandoning me. I have seen death in my life, and it has taught me to value what I have because I, or we, never know when we could loose it all. Life is about the relationships you have, the differences you make, and the love you share. Don’t let friendships pass you by, and don’t get sucked into the busy world. Make time for those in your life that are important because we never know how much time we have. When you look back on your life, what are you going to focus on? Will it be how much money you have in the bank, or that you didn’t spend enough time working? It’s relationships people think about in the end, and if that’s a universal truth, why not learn from that, and focus on relationships now? Don’t let time slip by you without taking action today.

 

 

 

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Accused and Apathy

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Accused and Apathy:

Recently I was accused of being a bad friend. I was accused of not being a good Christian man. If we’re honest about the good and bad in life I will say I am human and I will always fall short. Now, that being said I will always admit to my mistakes, but these recent accusations were completely and utterly unfounded. People often say things under the umbrella of emotions and when they do there’s really no telling what may come out.

Often when the truth is uttered those who hear and feel a conviction will lash out in anger. They are not slow to speak and they cause destruction left behind after the sound waves of their voice subsides. The wicked tongue is plentiful today. It’s all around us in the music we listen to on the radio, the movies and TV shows we watch, and even the voices heard in our very homes. Proverbs 21:23“Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” No one seems to care anymore that communication is slowly dying. I’ve watched as excuse after excuse comes across my phone screen as to why a message was ignored for days, weeks, and sometimes longer. I’ve gotten every manner of excuses and while some are absolutely legitimate others are not. My biggest frustration is when I get the simple excuse I’ve just been busy. This verbiage, busy, doesn’t usually mean busy, it means ‘you weren’t a priority.’ Thus the excuse given really comes from a place of apathy. For those of you who don’t know what that means, I’ll give you the definition, Apathy: lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern. There was no concern on how someone would feel being left hanging, dangling there for weeks before a response was finally given, and that response never actually held an apology. See, what most people fail to realize is just as dangerous as the tongue is, as it’s probably the most dangerous weapon on the planet, it has the power to build, or destroy. Matthew 15:11“It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”

I have a good friend who has a few kids. He has often told me about his policy with the kids, the punishment for wrong doing will be equal to the crime, but the punishment for a lie on top of the crime, much more severe. This makes sense because we as Christians know we will make mistakes. We know that it’s not about if we screw up but when. The thing with those mistakes is using the tongue along with actions to try and make amends for that mistake. So many people are afraid to stand up and speak the truth, but more are perfectly content living in a world where they never have to face the consequences of their actions. So many now lash out, out of anger and never fully see the ramifications of those words because now everything is done over non-verbal, or vocal communications. People now are so quick to anger, so quick to shoot off a ill thought out text that things are said without thought, and likewise in that anger it’s so easy to hit a couple buttons and poof, that persons gone from your life. People in droves make rash, hurtful remarks and then run away before any defense can be made, thus destroying the very foundation of friendships, and relationships. Proverbs 12:18“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

Proverbs 18:21“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” When we consider the power of the tongue and what we say, how it affects people in our life, we hold such power just a few inches from our brains. Many have little concern now about who they hurt, what they say, or why. On top of a lack of caring how our words affect people, the effect goes far beyond just what we say. A general apathy has sprung up in people all over the world. Since we have gotten to the point now where we don’t care what we say, how we say it, the other side of that coin is we don’t truly care about others. I’ve been in the online dating world for quite some time now, and I have noted on multiple occasions in the last 24 months that people just stopped caring about anyone but themselves. There’s no thought to the curtsey given to how we treat people. We ignore messages, we lie about the excuses to cause long delays in communications, and that’s if communication doesn’t stop abruptly without warning. I’ve always prided myself as being a very understanding person. I’ve watched people do horrible things that affected me and it wasn’t the mistake that hurt the most, it was lying to me about it. If someone doesn’t have the desire to have fluid communication often, a simple text to inform me of that would go a long way. James 3:10“From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.” When will we finally realize how our words and actions affect other people?

Something I’ve often wondered is when we are quick to anger and that anger leads to a wicked tongue, how then can that very same person say to the accused “You’re not a Christian man?” I have pondered this very thing for a little while now, and as I’ve gone back over conversations for a long while involving many people, I have come to a sad realization; the term Christian is perhaps the worst Apathy of all. How many Christians or self proclaimed Christians are there all over the world? How many of them would say, “I’m Christian, but it’s not important.”? How many would say they are Christian on Christmas, Easter, and maybe one or two sprinkled in the rest of the year? We see less then 19% of Christians now are involved Christians meaning, fewer then 19% open and read there Bibles more then 3 times a week, most far less if ever. How can someone stand there and pass judgment about doing nothing but stating facts, with no emotional bias, even if those facts don’t show someone in an appealing light? The answer is convictions. When we are confronted with our own shortcomings and we become angry we say and do things that are within its very nature, Sinful. We live in a world where truth is something convenient we don’t like to face.

We’ve become so consumed with self that we have such a deep apathy for other people. We don’t care how we hurt someone, or why. We don’t care to lead someone along only to drop them from the side of the cliff. Apathy my friends is a disease that is plaguing our society. The invention of texts, and online dating have created a gap in the human condition that now allows people to do what they wish and never having to see the fallout from their actions. Being accused recently of being a bad Christian, and treating my friends badly, is obviously coming from someone who is hurting badly themselves. Truth however, no matter how painful is always the best way to go. The truth is, people can be cruel, and manipulative and hold nothing but apathy for you. All we can do is love, pray, and continue to lean on God’s word the best we can. We are people and we will make mistakes. People always need to be forgiven for their trespasses, and thus we must always ask for forgiveness of our trespasses. Never loose sight of the hope that springs in the horizon every day. We may be accused but our accusers who flee before a defense do not seek answers or retribution. Those who spit venom and run away are nothing shy of cowards. Those who hide behind technology afraid to face their own fallout are cowards. Do not worry yourself with these types of people, no, I say to you my brothers and sisters, forever pray that God opens their eyes to see, warms their hearts to feel, and blesses their souls with empathy and love. Are you the sword or just a poor reflection? Don’t loose hope for, while God is still sovereign over all, there will always be hope.

 

 

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Expectations

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Expectations

There are things in this life I grew up knowing, believing with all my heart and soul. I believed in the Holy Spirit, I believed in the power of God, and the mercy of judgment that would one day befall me, and those I know. I spent my life wondering where I would be, and try to be the man God would see me be. I wanted to be a good Godly man. I wanted to be someone important to someone else. I wanted to be loved by someone as much as I loved them. I am the kind of man who expects myself to stand tall and firm that this life is precious and short. Our time here is not determined by our own making much of time, but that line is determined by God almighty. I can remember events in my life that shaped my understanding of life, and it quickly reminded me that this life is both short and important, and we as brothers and sisters in Christ must stand tall and be there for one another. I am the type of man that if a few days goes by that I don’t hear from a close friend I reach out to them. I am a man that I will send over a dozen hello’s to people just to let them know I was thinking of them and that they are important to me. All of God’s children are important, who are we to forget that it’s the fellowship, the relationships in this life that’s what’s truly important. We share the Gospel, and we rejoice the Lord with one another. Who are we if we forget our friends?

Proverbs 18:24 “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” We love Christ but we forsake our brothers. We should be ashamed of how we treat our friends. When we have so many ways in this generation to connect with others, we find ourselves busier and busier and no longer find or make the time for the important people in our lives. Luke 6:31“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” I don’t want to be remembered as the kind of man who let evil happen to my friends without ever stepping in to tell them they are loved by me and God. I want to be the man that reminds them they are loved as often as I can. This world is a cold place, and the least we can do is add a little love to those around us. The few seconds it takes to send a text, or a message, or a phone call, it’s truly a shame people have let life, let the Devil pull us apart. We must change our ways, and we must do better. We must be better because Jesus commanded us to strengthen your brothers. Luke 22:32“but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” We are told over and over to stand watch, to help carry the cross. Galatians 6:2 “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” We don’t truly know the hell someone’s going through, and we won’t know if we don’t make connections.

We must fervently love to bring light to a dark world. We must live in Christ and trust the Holy Spirit to guide us in the direction we must travel. While today I admit I truly struggle with the lies of the Devil, I find myself harassed with tears, and feeling lost in the woods by myself. I have cried now for two days straight as I have been assaulted and beaten down. I have felt abandoned and forsaken by those with whom I had given my heart. I trusted, and put my own heart on the line with someone and that heart is broken. Despite the time I’ve spent trying to heal, every now and then something happens to open that wound. I searched for over an hour to find someone to call, so I could hear a friendly voice. Sadly, after all my time searching, I eventually gave up hope on anyone taking the time to answer my request. No one would and two hours later I would fall asleep to my own tears, with just a prayer and my dogs to comfort me. Now I realize how far we’ve come away from the Lord. I realize now how the only true blessing we can count is that of Jesus Christ and the blood to renew us from sin. This life will end one day, and the tough lessons learned, Jesus is the only true place we can put our hope. Love people but understand they are human, and we all fall short to the glory of God. We all fail our brothers and sisters, and while we hope to be there, the truth is, the only true thing we can depend on is God’s love.

 

 

 

 

 

I’ll Be There For You

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I’ll be there for you

Though time has passed and you’ve been gone, I just wanted you to know I’ll be there for you. No matter how far you’ve traveled, or how deep you’ve sunk, just know I’ll be there for you. We know that in life nothing last forever, except our salvation in the blood of Christ. We know that the good will come, but we have to endure the bad to grow, and to appreciate the good. The relationships we have may not last forever, but you have to know that no matter how far down the road we travel God will always welcome us when we repent, and ask for the forgiveness we need. Why should we be any different? I know I have often opened my life up to those who’ve come seeking my audience. I have watched the same friends come and go for years. I’ve suffered through the loss of friends as they have decided to walk away and cut ties, and years later they reemerge with an apology, and an open heart. I’ve not once seen a friend that has done that, not to do it again. But, regardless of their intent, or intentions, I have to remember we are all human. People follow their heart which is easily swayed by the Devils schemes, tricks, and lies. Someone once asked me why I would let my ex-wife stay in my life after all the cruel things she did to me. The answer was easy, we are told to forgive, and we are told to lift up, and not tear down. We are told to love our spouse and never give up on them. While we are told that there’s only one due course to divorce, I found it in myself to move beyond and hope and pray to repair the damage done. 18 months later, that didn’t happen. In that time I have watched as some of my friends have left and haven’t returned. I’ve dubbed this season the exodus named after the time Moses led his people to the Promised Land.

I consider myself a loyal friend, and perhaps to much of a bleeding heart for the plight of others. I have often put myself out there to the point of deep pain upon myself. I have suffered great loss, and as difficult as it is for me to guard and protect myself from pain like this, I can’t seem to shut that part of my personality off. I think about the line from The Dark Knight. Alfred tells Bruce that Batman can be the one to take it. He would have to endure the attacks. I believe that once in a while a person can endure the great hardships because they must. I believe it’s in those people that truth, and love can shine. There’s no doubting the trials I have endured, but knowing that I can endure them, and be there for my friends present, past, and future, I believe shows the world what love and forgiveness can be. While I’m not perfect, and sometimes I stay stupid things, and I do stupid things, I try hard. I am not free from sin, nor do I make anyone try to believe that, but I do have an understanding of human behavior, and the human condition. I’ve tried to be the best friend anyone could ever ask for. I’m trying very hard to be a consistent friend, a friend to be depended on. I want people to know I am loyal and dependable.

I'll be there for you 2

Proverbs 25:13 “Like the cold of snow in the time of harvest is a faithful messenger to those who send him; he refreshes the soul of his masters.” One translation of this verse I found says a reliable friend is like a cold drink in the sweltering heat. I believe we should all aspire to be a friend that people turn to in times of trouble. I believe everyone should be a friend that can joke with the best of them. We should be a shoulder for those of our friends in need, and we should be able to provide scripture to help them along their way. I have always tried to follow the scripture in Proverbs 18:24 “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” It’s important to be a good character. If we are to walk in Christ we should be able to do so in confidence.

Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” When we look to the world for answers we will always get the wrong ones. We always ask the world for guidance to our problems, the thing is, the world doesn’t conform to scripture. When we have questions we need to turn to God, and turn to those who would give us scriptural guidance. I often question if my advice to others is good enough, but it’s in that advice I find my place with God. As I have watched friends leave for new adventures, I find myself questioning if it’s me, if it was something I said or did. I have found that as it may be me, it might be my reliance on God and scripture that’s pushed others away. Sadly when you live a life following in the light of Christ, you will loose people you were once close to. All we can do is try to live a life pleasing to God. Be a light for those around you, and never give up hope. People will undoubtedly leave you, but God will always stay. While many people will grow further away from you, you have to remain faithful to the Lord. Don’t loose hope, and try to be the best friend you can, while you can.

For those whom I have, and those whom I have lost, God loves you, and I do too. We never know the road we may end up on, but the journey is far from over. We aren’t perfect but true friends stick through tough times. Loyalty, honesty, openness is all part of being good close friends. Be kind, and realize that not all situations will be positive or provide good feelings, but friendships should be held to a higher standard. Friendships are an important part of our life, and having people to count on in our journey is important, and not to be taken lightly. I hope my friends know how loyal I am, and how important it is to me for those I call friends to be there for them, good and bad.

 

How Do You Feel?

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How Do You Feel?

We are a nation, a society of shielding ourselves from real feelings. We are no longer a proactive society. We allow ourselves to be shielding from our feelings by way of relationships, money, and even sometimes our jobs. We no longer talk on the phone, instead we text and often people we may never meet in person. It’s easy to walk away because people don’t become attached, they don’t feel the connection. Money is the same way. We no longer feel the loss of money when we spend by just swiping the card. Instead of using the feeling of cash between our fingers we swipe the plastic and never see the connection between our money and us. We mismanage our lives poorly. We handle our money poorly, and we handle and manage our personal relationships. We don’t manage the gifts we are given by God. We don’t feel appreciative of the little things God gives us. We don’t feel that connection to our earthy gifts from our heavenly Father.

When we receive our gifts from God how do we look at those? Are we feeling our gifts, and are we any good at it? When we appreciate our gifts, when we actually have our feelers in the mix we take care of what we are given. When God gives us friendships, when God gives us people in our lives and we should cultivate those relationships. We should cultivate the money we are given, and ensure that we are using that gift to glorify God. When we feel nothing to let friends go, we must look at why we feel nothing. When we feel nothing for the money you spend, and you overspend, or use credit cards like it’s free cash, we see a society of foolish people growing.

When you look at your life and you look at what you have how do you feel? When you look at your life are you satisfied with the friends in your life? Are you satisfied with how you ended friendships? Do you feel badly with how you treated your coworker last week? How did you treat the waitress at the restaurant yesterday? If someone from the outside looked in on your life, would you be able to call yourself a Christian, or not? We all make mistake, but it’s important to understand the mistakes we are making. It’s not easy to evaluate our lives and figure out if we’re doing something right or wrong. Do we complicate our lives? Remember someone’s struggles, someone’s hardships do not constitute complications.

When we see something complicated in our society the natural reaction is to run away. We are a feel good society and we want to feel good. We want to rid our lives of anything that makes us feel anything but good. We want to emotionally spend even if we don’t have the money. We spend on credit cards because we deserve to have whatever it is we seek because we’ve earned it. We’ve had a hard day, or a hard week, and it’s decided we can indulge now, and deal with the implications latter. 1 Timothy 5:8 “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” If we provide for our household with finances we should be willing to help the rest of our family with love and support. We are a family in Christ and therefore we should be willing to provide what’s needed for those in trials to succeed. When we look at our loved ones, or friends who are going through a hard time, and we decide that dealing with them is just bringing you down, we use our feelings and yet we aren’t behaving as Christians. We don’t talk about things that are hard because it brings negative emotions that we no longer know how to manage in our lives.

We must learn to understand that both positive and negative feelings are important. How do we appreciate our positive feelings if we never allow negative feelings to be felt? If we run away from anything negative we miss the message in scripture. Scripture teaches us we WILL face hardships. Not only are we going to face the hardships, we are also told our brothers and sisters will also face hardships. This isn’t a suggestion, but we are told to raise one another, we are told to help carry the burdens of those in need in our lives. The thing is, if we feel the need to allow those to fall around us, and we don’t pick up their cross to help them, who’s going to help you? If you were in the crowd and you watched the Lord of all things fall, bleeding, and we choose not to help Jesus Christ lift and carry his cross because we don’t want to get involved, we don’t want the negative vibes to infect, to infest our good feelings, how do we feel? You see, when we abandon those in our lives because they have some drama, or they have hardships going on in their lives, leaving them to fend for themselves is not scriptural. Now, I will say some people choose to stay in their fire. They choose not to help themselves and they bring upon their own burdens. Those people can be difficult and it can be hard to keep them in our lives. Leeches are not what I’m talking about. Helping others is a scriptural principle that is non negotiable. We must help, but we are also told to use our gifts wisely. When we help those in need especially financially we must be good stewards of what we have.

I would like to think most people do not bring their own burdens upon themselves. But if they do, we must try to show the love of Christ. We must attempt to help show them a better way. We must be willing to put ourselves out there a little to help save them. If we were in a house with a fire would we not want a firefighter to come in to the house to save us? They put themselves at risk to save us from the fire. We can all be firefighters, or rescue swimmers, and help those in crisis. We can’t expect the fire never to come because it does. I challenge you all to take a good long hard look at yourselves and see if you have been allowing someone close to you to carry his or her cross alone. Have you turned your back on someone that reached out to you for help? Have you walked away from friendships because they had too much going on? Be good stewards, and walk in Christ in your every day. Be thankful for your gifts, but those gifts may not always be there if you are not walking in Christ. If you do not use the gifts of God to glorify God, you can’t expect the gifts to keep coming if we aren’t walking with the Lord in other areas of our lives. We feel all kinds of things in our life, but we must learn to feel the grace of the Holy Spirit. That grace is important because when we allow the Holy Spirit to be in us, we will feel more empathy for others. We will often feel more sympathy for the blights of others when we are more in tuned with the thoughts and feelings of those around us. We are all in this together, and we need others to help us sometimes and it’s important to realize that love is a give emotion. We are told to love our brothers and sisters and that means being there for them when we need to. Let go of your selfish desire to rid yourself of all negativity. Negative events will happen, and it’s not about if but when. We have insurance because we want it when something goes wrong. The thing is, when the fire comes we don’t want to have to face putting it out on our own. We call for the fire department and we appreciate them being there. Our friends are the same way. We should feel the pain of others and we should be driven to help when we can. Believe it or not, when we are able to help someone through a crisis, how we feel will actually be positive making a change to someone’s life. Love all, cherish all, and be good stewards of God’s gifts. 1 Peter 4:16 “Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name.”

 

Dont’ Waste your Kindness

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Don’t Waste your Kindness

What kind of person are you? Lets take a look and let’s be honest and promise not to lie to one another. When we truly evaluate ourselves and how we treat others, do we truly fall on the side of light or dark? I’ve been told I’m overly forgiving. This isn’t exactly a bad trait, but when you allow someone to take advantage then a healthy line should be dawn. I’ve been told I’m to empathetic. I often give people chance after chance to come in and out of my life, but sadly I’m the one who always ends up hurt. I fail miserably in drawing healthy boundaries in the sand. I allow people to walk all over me and I often find myself wondering why me? This can lead to a hardening of your heart if you aren’t careful. Because of the constant painful experiences, and constant loss in the last year, I’ve questioned my policies, and my place in this world.

Philippians 2:3 [Let] nothing [be done] through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. We must remember to remain true to our walk with God. We must remember that we are to lift up with the tongue never to tear down. We are commanded to Love and love everyone. 1 John 4:8 “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” We must remember this that loving is a choice. I’m not talking about when you fall in love for someone and you love them romantically, I’m talking about loving in the love of all men/women. We have to keep the love in our hearts, and be empathetic and sympathetic to those in need. Ephesians 4:2 “2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,” Having patience is a command, not a request. Knowing to be patient with people because people are human, and we are all full of Sin, and we are all going to make mistakes. Those mistakes are to be forgiven and we are to love the sinner. No matter the hurt we have a choice to make. How do we treat others, and how do we help those around us fall? Do we berate them? Do we abandon them? Do we help them in their time of need?

1 John 3:16-18 “16 By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. 17 But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? 18 Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” We must remember to be there for those in need. We have to resist putting ourselves in harms way, but we must put ourselves out there. It’s a fine line and we have to keep our heads high. While everyone deserves a second chance because at any time during someone’s life they can turn around, we must pray and have hope. Everyone deserves kindness, everyone deserves to be loved and to have someone listen when they are in need.

My suggestion would be to find a balance between enabling someone and helping someone who genuinely needs it. I myself admit I’m easily taken advantage of. I become much less aware when I am going through hard times, or when I’m lonely, but in those times I seek attention and I often find the wrong type. I allow people to treat me badly over and over again because I feel I should look at the good they can be instead of seeing the vial they are being. I have to work on this, and I am working on finding healthier ways to interact with others. I cannot watch as friends come and go as they please so long as something’s in it for them. As I have watched many of my so-called friends leave in the last year and some change, I have come to realize that some people are only in a friendship so long as they get something out of it. Some people will come around and smile, and play nice because they want you for a particular reason, and once the status quo changes, they will leave. I have seen fair weather friends come and go and as it’s heart breaking. I know I need to draw a healthier boundary with people I come into contact with, and above all else, I think I need to not be so invested in others. I give my heart and I get crushed. I’ve been taking it personally, and there’s been a mixed opinion if I should or not, but I feel like I do. Don’t harden your heart to never be kind to others, just make sure that you are kind to everyone, but be cautious who you invest more then just kind words with.