The Wages of Sin

The Wages of Sin

Since the fall from grace and Sin entered the world people have lived under the influence of Sin. Genesis 3:3-4 but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” Mankind was tricked into allowing Satan to pull us from God’s grace. Ever since mankind has made one bad call after another. We consistently have moved in bad directions, we treat our neighbors horribly, we even treat our loved ones with disdain.

If we live our lives in a manner that is not pleasing to the Lord, a life that is against the simple commandments, we are forced to face the ramifications of our ignorance, or blatant disregard. Romans 6:23 “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Each of us gambles with our souls when we choose sin over life. Each of us puts our trust in something we will never see first hand. We believe that God is sovereign and on the throne over all. The flip side of course is what happens when we sin on purpose. Romans 5:12 “Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned:” When we sin when we turn our backs on Christ and walk a path of wrongdoing, we can look forward to the words in Revelation 21:8 “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

The joys of the world, the draws of sinful nature can be enticing and often pulls us from the graces of Christ. We must remember that Christ paid for our sins under the condition we follow Him. Every one of us is given a choice. John 3:36 “He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.” We can’t negotiate at the foot of the cross. All sin is created and judged equally to God. We must answer for our sins regardless of our beliefs, and yet on our best day we sin, we fall short, and sometimes we hurt those closest to us. We will always hurt those closest to us by accident, but it’s when we do it on purpose that has a particular rank. When we knowingly sin in the efforts to gain our own selfish desires, we risk it all. We never know when the end will come for us. We never know when the good Lord will end our lives. It may be when we are old and gray in our beds, or it may be the next time we go walking outside our door, either way, we wager our eternal lives on the pursuit that the Devil promised all those years ago. We know good and evil, and the world is surly evil. We see people doing good works in the name of the Lord, but even those who do good works can fall from grace. Don’t turn your back on the Lord when times get tough. Don’t believe the lies of Lucifer, and don’t let go of your salvation just for the joys of Sin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you have your passport?

Do you have your passport?

John 14:6 “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’” We know that the only way to heaven is to believe in the Son Jesus Christ. I have traveled over a large portion of the world and during those travels I had to use my passport to do so. When we die we have a choice of where we want to travel next. When we live our lives our actions will dictate where we go. Just like our passport to travel abroad, our passport doesn’t always give us the ability to travel to any country they want. Parts of China, Russia, and North Korea for instance are not permissible with a passport alone.

In Romans 10:9 it reconfirms the point that you cannot travel to Heaven without the relationship with Jesus Christ. “Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” The point is simple, we have straightforward rules to follow and if we do that, if we give our lives to Christ and accept that we are small in the grand scheme of life.

When we think about eternity why are we so stubborn to face the facts of life like a good honorable person? Sometimes in life it’s difficult to keep ourselves focused on the big picture. We often want the feel good medicine. We give up our morals, our compass that points to God for the things that give us worldly gratification. We often fall short in our walk with Christ, but thankfully the gatekeeper of Heaven is an understanding guy. Heaven is a place for those who are proclaimed sinners, people who know they’ve done wrong, and in the midsts of those mistakes try to pay the penance for them, they try to redeem themselves, and ask God for forgiveness for the sins committed, a person who tries to do the works for the pleasure of God. We cannot get to heaven through good works, but in our love of Christ, we are compelled to do good works because we are the hands and feet of Christ Jesus.

Make sure that as you live your life just like your drives license and your passport, you keep your faith renewed. Knowing Jesus and knowing that through Him is the only way into heaven that’s your passport. Make sure you keep it with you in your daily walk. Make sure you keep it updated by reading your bible, spending time with other Christians, loving your neighbors, and doing the works God has placed on your heart. Have faith in the Lord and you will be rewarded with a one way trip to eternal grace.

 

 

Finding my Black Canary

Finding my Black Canary

Do many of you often wonder where you other half is? As I have often wondered what the next step in my life may be, I question the range of relationships. While I’ve wondered why the women I have loved have decided to move on with their lives and leave the life built behind them, I consistently struggle with the reason for this particular path. While the why isn’t the focus here the focus is how do we move forward? Sometimes we love and loose, how do we begin to fix our broken hearts?

Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 147: 3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Romans 8:39 “nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

1 John 4:10 “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

 When we are down and broken we know that the Lord is with us and our crushed spirits. We can only rely on the spirit to pick us back up. The Lord starts to heal us the instant the stab to our heart happens. Just because wrongs are done, and they may be done by us, or to us, neither wrong can separate us from the Lord. Jesus is hand in hand with us no matter what. The God above, the creator of heaven and earth, forgives our sins and it is the love of God that give us strength. We are nothing without God, and without God’s grace. Everything we have is a gift. Either God gives us our gifts, or sends us along our path. Either God sends us our pain, or allows our pain to happen. No matter what the case may be, all things happen with the blessing of God. God only allows us to travel a path as long as He deems fit. Sin will only be tolerated in our lives for so long before we will be punished by our Father. How long will we blatantly Sin in our lives before we realize we are wrong and fix it?

Psalm 71:20 “You who have made me see many troubles and calamities will revive me again; from the depths of the earth you will bring me up again.” No matter how far we fall, no matter how deeply we hurt, God will lift us up again and help us heal. We aren’t meant to be alone. Isaiah 43:2 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” No matter our situation we shouldn’t allow ourselves to become overwhelmed. We need to learn to let go of our sorrows and allow the Lord to take care of them. We must endure our crucibles to survive them. We must learn that our gifts will far outweigh our pain and suffering.

For me I believed I had found my Black Canary to my Green Arrow. I believed I had found the woman who completed me. I never wanted anyone else. I felt in my days like I was missing something, like I needed friends to complete what I perceived as missing. The fact was I wasn’t truly looking for friends the truth was I was still dealing with the ramifications of multiple posttraumatic events in my life. Loosing the woman I loved, the woman I would have done anything for and fought to give anything I could. There were many reasons she left, most of which I don’t know, and even to this day don’t understand. However, as broken as I am, I feel badly for her. As I pray one day she may remember the spark that led us together to start with, allow us to rekindle what was damaged. Anything is possible if you believe in Christ. While I have struggled with my ability to move on I have to have faith in the unknown. I believe that no matter the time that goes by if two people are meant to be together life will somehow draw them back together. Love is undying, love is forever, but everything is in God’s time. Some day I will find my woman in a mask to match my own. One day I will find a woman who will don the mask and put on the jacket. I will keep the faith as all of you out there have lived through loss and divorce. Divorce doesn’t have to be the end. Trust in the Lord and in Him your future will be, as the sun shall rise. We must learn patience and in that patience trust that in God’s time someone will come into your life. Remember to put God first, and always. Believe in the Lord and don’t forget to pray. I myself struggle with the patience of such things. Even with that struggle I pray and know that prayer is important in our daily relationship with the Lord our Father. 1 John 5:14-15 “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” Have trust in our prayers being heard for Abba is with us always.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Promise

The Promise

 You know what really bakes my noodle? It bothers me when people make promises and break them. As a young child people often made promises to me only to break them over and over again. As I got older it became very important to me to keep my promises. I’m not one to make a promise and not fulfill it or come through. However, it seems that’s not a very common trait for most. The Bible has scripture about keeping your word or promises. 1 John 2:5 “But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him.” The Lord does not take promises and oaths lightly. Matthew 5:33-37 “Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.’ But I say to you, Do not take an oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.” To break your word is a Sin. A promise and oath are forever. Your word is your bond. Your word and if you are a trustworthy person are important to image.

Psalm 89:34 “I will not violate my covenant or alter the word that went forth from my lips.” When we make a promise to someone it’s not to violate our word. Matthew 5:33 “Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform to the Lord what you have sworn.” When you make a promise to someone God looks on that promise like you’re making a promise to Him. James 5:12 “But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.” Do not condemn yourself into wickedness by allowing yourself to speak untruths. People who listen to you, do you want them to look at you with untrusting eyes? Do you want to be the type of person that no one believes a word you utter? Don’t hide behind excuses or lies, as sure as the seasons will pass and the snows will melt, the truth will always have it’s day.

It’s important to only make a promise if you are going to keep it. You must remember what you promise to do all you can to keep it. When you vow to do something you should do everything in your power to do it. When you make a vow you must remember that a vow in a bond, more then simple promise. An oath is a covenant unbreakable. Marriage for instance, how simple it’s become to marry, swear a vow to one another, create the covenant before God and yet not only do you break that before your spouse, but you break it before God as well. Do not allow yourself to be ruled by the wicked of the world. There is nothing OKAY with divorce. There’s nothing okay with breaking your promise to anyone. There’s nothing okay with breaking someone’s heart or turning yourself into a liar. What’s worse is when you become a habitual liar. To sin is bad, to sin habitually is worse. Do not allow the world to dictate what you do and the things you lie. Let your yay be yay, and your nay be nay. Speak from the heart and with truth. Don’t hide yourself behind lies. The truth will always set you free.

 

Admitting Failures

Admitting Failures

One year ago I faced a near death experience. After I survived and found myself reeling in the aftermath I was calm for months. No matter what came up or what challenges I faced I was composed and without concern or worry. Now as time has gone on and life has continued that calm, cool and collected nature has drifted into memory. It’s not uncommon for a believer or non-believer to come to Jesus after a traumatic incident. They may stay church bound for 6 months to a year, but as life returns to normal the feeling of grace can subside.

1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient and kind;” I heard a sermon recently on Love. Love is being patient and not just patience with others, with our neighbors, with our spouses, but with God. We always want things our way and right now. Let me tell you in the last year I’ve lost my wife, my house, my job, my closest friends, not because of anything I’ve done per say, but just a purging fire within my life. Life doesn’t always go the way we think it should or the way we envision it, but the truth is, we are just the train, we go the direction the tracks go, and God lays our tracks in front of us, we go where God wants us, He’s the conductor.

Psalm 40:1-4 “I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord. Blessed is that man that maketh the Lord his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.” David awaited the Lord for the better first half of his life. He ran from assassins, he survived war, and yet he knew his destiny was to become King, he just didn’t know when. When we are at our lowest do we curse God or do we raise Him up, praising him for his plans for us, knowing that one-day we too will be lifted out of the miry clay, and our feet will be placed on solid rock. Do we truly understand the nature of the divine and the planning, and patience it takes to create a masterpiece? Our lives are molded and scripted since before birth. We are given chance after chance within free will to follow, or rebuke the Lord. Every waking moment we are given chances and as God has seen every possible outcome and plans for every single one, we must have faith and trust in the Lord. As I heard recently “You don’t give the keys to the car to your six year old.” (Dr. M. David Chambers, D.Min) You don’t give your kids the keys, because obviously they just aren’t ready. I’ve touched base on a similar outlook. We cannot be given the test before we are ready for it.

Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” Getting on the train tracks as the train and not knowing the destination or how we’re going to get there is having faith. When we get on a plan we have faith that the pilot knows how to fly it, and we will get to our destination safely. Why don’t we put the same faith in God? Every air traveler put his or her faith in the pilot no matter where we go. We put our faith so blindly in a human being, but can’t or wont put our faith in God, so beyond our miniscule understanding of the big picture our faith should always unequivocally go to God first, and last.

Proverbs 3:24-26 “When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet. 25 Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked, when it cometh. 26 For the Lord shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken.” We often make decisions and sometimes we make decisions based on fear. Life can often cause us to be afraid of a great and vast many things. That fear can be loosing a job, our loved one, loosing our status, or friends, a vast plethora of things that fear can force us to act on. In the essence of fear I have made choices some good and some bad. That fear can lead us to say things to people that are mean and hurtful. Like a cornered animal we frequently lash out towards others. We loose focus on the big picture and we allow that fear to take over in the drivers seat.

 Isaiah 7:4 “And say unto him, Take heed, and be quiet; fear not, neither be fainthearted for the two tails of these smoking firebrands, for the fierce anger of Rezin with Syria, and of the son of Remaliah.” No matter what situation you find yourself in, no matter how deep the muck, the dangerous or twisted, we must keep the faith, keep calm, quiet our minds to the world, and allow the Holy Spirit to fill us and give us the direction we must go. We spend to much time fighting against the direction the Lord has us on, it’s like trying to jump a train off the tracks and land on the tracks of our own choosing. Obviously it doesn’t work that way. We can’t simply take the plane off auto pilot and fly ourselves when we are not pilots. Sure we can play flight simulators all day long, but that doesn’t make us qualified to fly or land a plane. Why do we think we are so capable of doing things better in our own way? It’s a lack of faith, a lack of trust, because to us, the problem we face is just to big for God to handle. As we say that after we beat the odds of millions of possible outcomes in our very own conception. We stand upon the Earth within the universe the perfect distance from the son, with the perfect access to support human life. We say this that we are the only ones who can handle our specific problem when we know what the God above is capable of. We loose sight, we loose faith, and we listen to the world and the society in which we live. God in societies eyes is small, outdated for a time of such revered science and human accomplishment and understanding of the world and the universe in which we live. Our faith in God supersedes that notion and if we are to call ourselves true Christians, we must act like it.

I have made plenty of mistakes in my day. Mistakes, sadly I must own up to, and confess to my brothers and sisters. The lessons I teach in today’s blog post are lessons I must teach myself. If I am to make good on what I teach, then I too must practice what I teach. We must all learn to let go of our fears, learn to take that leap, and let God be the conductor for this train. Faith is something you must work on all the time. It’s also something the Devil will target you for. The deceiver, the king of Hell walls you to fail. He wants to rip you away from the graces of God and although his method’s haven’t changed much in the last few thousands years, because he doesn’t have to change them, they work. You must remain vigilant, you must maintain your time with the Scripture, and you must continue to work on your life with God. Pray often, love all, forgive easily, and be firm when the Devil prowls around. Give yourself and your problems to the Lord. Don’t forget the ways of scripture and even as difficult as it is some days, we must work towards that goal each and every day of our lives.

A song that I am reminded of is:

Help Me Find It by Sidewalk Prophets.

I don’t know where to go from here
It all used to seem so clear
I’m finding I can’t do this on my own

 I don’t know where to go from here
As long as I know that You are near
I’m done fighting
I’m finally letting go

 I will trust in You
You’ve never failed before
I will trust in You

 If there’s a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will
Whatever Your will
Can you help me find it
Can you help me find it

 I’m giving You fear and You give faith
I giving you doubt
You give me grace
For every step I’ve never been alone

 Even when it hurts, You’ll have Your way
Even in the valley I will say
With every breath
You’ve never let me go

 I will wait for You
You’ve never failed before
I will wait for You

 If there’s a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will
Whatever Your will
Can you help me find it
Can you help me find it

 I lift my empty hands (come fill me up again)
Have Your way my King (I give my all to You)
I lift my eyes again (Was blind but now I see)
‘Cause You are all I need

 If there’s a road I should walk
Help me find it
If I need to be still
Give me peace for the moment
Whatever Your will
Whatever Your will
Can you help me find it
Can you help me find it

 No matter the road we walk ask God to help you find your path. If you need to be still ask God for the peace for that moment. God can and will give you what you need to fight the fight as long as you pray and ask for it. God will always give you the peace and shelter you seek when you need it. Have faith and see your blessing all around you. Just because you can’t see the Angels from heaven doesn’t mean they aren’t there. I’ve personally felt their presence and I know they exist. We sometimes loose our way, and as for me, I have the two best pastors anyone in the world could ever help for that help me back when I start to stray. I couldn’t and wouldn’t ever ask for anyone better, I’d never find it. Love you guys. Speedy, you’re my Brother and the best partner in ‘crime fighting’ anyone could ever ask for. Doc D. C, you have a way with words my brother. You’re a blessing to the church and I always appreciate you. Love ya’ll.

 

Giving your all

Giving your all

Have you ever loved so deeply, cared for someone so much you felt like you gave your whole life to them? Have you ever cared for someone so much when they were gone you felt as if half of you were ripped away? What about when you meet someone new and you feel strongly about them, not love, but a strong desire to know them, to be there for them, what happens when that isn’t reciprocated? I believe we’ve all gone through this at some point in our lives. There’s a strong reaction to rejection and that reaction’s what we’re going to discuss today. This is an uncomfortable subject so stick with me.

Recently I met someone and the more we talked the more I felt a potential relationship might have been possible. I received a lot of positive feedback early on in our communications and it led me to believe something more in time was more then a likely possibility. When the conversation continued I was shocked when all of a sudden it stopped. The conversation seemed rather benign and since it was just about liking particular movies, I saw no reason the outcome ended the way it did. All communication halted abruptly and the feeling sunk deep in my stomach and my head felt like a kick to the face.

Disappointment is a tough pill to swallow. What does the bible say about disappointment? Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” No matter what we face, or the troubles we find ourselves in God will use them for the purpose of good things. We may not be able to see the good in our pain, or the purpose in our suffering, but through all things the Lord is with us. Psalm 42:11 “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” As King David writes in a moment of sorrow he asks God why he feels such turmoil within his heart. He knows God is with him, he knows the Lord will never forsake him, and in all things God is good always. We too must remember that in our struggles, in our times of weakness the Lord of creation is with us.

Having and keeping the faith that no matter the purpose of someone coming and or going in your life is difficult, but the Lord has a plan. While we may feel like we’ve been hit by a ton of bricks, and while this may be literal or figurative, the Lord will see us through till the end. Often times we wonder why someone hurts us, why someone will leave their spouse in what appeared to be a loving marriage or relationship. While there are many reasons and likely personal explanations, that we won’t discuss today, the simple answer is this. Sometimes the innocent can be collateral damage. If this is the case and the hurt and pain is caused by someone else keep in mind 1 Corinthians 7:15 “But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.” If someone walks away from you, if someone has decided to follow or pursue a path that is not one that is inline with Christ, do not hold onto that. Do not allow that departure to be a reflection upon yourself. Do not hold onto responsibilities for what is not due unto you. We must always take responsibilities for the things we played a roll in rather it be good or bad. Always own up to your own mistakes. We must fight the urge to take responsibility for things beyond our control. Do not allow the sins of another to add to the burdens you already carry. As grotesque as it sounds and is, do not be the proverbial sin eater. Do not take upon yourself, which is not yours. Often times when a relationship ends, if it ends with little to no warning, and you are left to wonder why, and what happened, it’s easy to start blaming yourself. While this is something I myself have yet to master, and may never will, it’s important that whether it’s your spouse, your friends, or other close relationships, always remember that if someone walks away from you, you may not need to take the blame, do not take on the sins of anyone but yourself. Only take on what you must. Have faith in the Lord, and believe that no matter who leaves you, who abandons you, the Lord’s promise is to never leave or forsake, because the Lord made a new covenant, and this promise by God is not one that is broken.

Remember it’s okay to love another, and it’s okay to feel a devotion to someone, but always remember to put God first. When you remember to put God first, the rest will fall into place.

Sweet Godly Accidents

Sweet Godly Accidents

It’s interesting how a mistake, an accident can be a great and wonderful gift from God. The other day when I was building a Lego house I was completing the very fragile roof I accidently pushed too hard and a section of the roof collapsed. Obviously this is a frustration because once the collapse occurred the only way to fix it was to take the entire roof down and start over. While there was a gaping whole in the roof of the house all I could say at the time was oops. Within a moment I had decided to use it to my advantage. Over the last several months I had made note of bad choices surrounding my life, some were my choices, and others were that of others. The point is sometimes out of an accident a blessing or a path is waiting for you. We may not always see the reason for accidents, but sometimes it’s to teach us a valuable lesson, or alter the path we are on. Matthew 10:8 Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead,[a] cast out demons. Freely you have received, freely give.” We receive gifts and we don’t always acknowledge what we’ve received as a gift. While I wrote the blog post ‘OOPS’ I found myself considering the consequences of the good and bad things I had witnessed the last 11 months. As my world around me crumbled into a million or more pieces the why is this happening, the what am I supposed to learn and do now, the when will I begin to feel better in my life, questions that wouldn’t come, but faith would continue to guide me like a lighthouse in the bitterness of the worst storm I’d ever see in my life.

It’s amazing how some actions may seem like accidents, or even things that are accidents, but either way, God is working to pull you through no matter what the case may be. In all of our mistakes, in all of our suffering, there’s still lessons to be had, blessings to be seen. Romans 12:6-8 “6 Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, let us prophesy in proportion to our faith; 7 or ministry, let us use it in our ministering; he who teaches, in teaching; 8 he who exhorts, in exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.” In each of our God given gifts we must find the will to survive. We must always find a way out of the fire. The gifts we’ve been given no matter what they are can be used to glorify God. We must learn to use our gifts to the best of our ability and in using our gifts help to lift up those around us. Every accident is a chance to glorify God. Every mishap is a chance to show what God is in our lives. One way to look at an accident is a Godly opportunity. No matter the tragedy, no matter the accident we have an opportunity, an obligation to rise above and show what being a Christian is all about. Always look to the sky, and know that God is looking out over you. In every mistake or accident the chance to fly above the clouds is always there. You may feel like you’re in the muck but when you behave has a true Godly Christian, you can fly, soar through the clouds because if God is for you, then who can be against you?

When we forsake our faith, when we turn our backs on God we can be sure that the blessings in our life are only a snowballs chance. We never know what our future holds and what blessings may be just beyond the river bend. We may never know the joys that are waiting for us, and in that, we can have faith, that the faithful will be blessed. It’s easy to look back on a situation and have our perspective skewed, tainted by the world, the attacks by the Devil. When we are suffering the pain can blind us from the truth, and from our path. The struggle is to remain focused on God, focused on God’s plan for us, which is of grace not despair. Trials and pain will happen, but if we trust, truly trust in the Lord, there may be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Just remember, without the storm, there is no rainbow and with no rainbow, no pot of gold. Endure the storm, to find your pot of gold.

 

Finding Love and Dealing With Loss

Finding Love and Dealing With Loss

As it’s been a good while since my separation I find myself revisiting my future for Love. As I have posted extensively what love means to me, I still have a hard time understanding my place in this world, and as I question my place, I also question the purpose of me remaining single and unable to find even so much as a date. Now I’m not complaining, just making an observation. The scripture tells us, Jeremiah 29:11 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” The day to day routine I find mundane and it’s a tough pill to swallow. The struggles we have to find our way, to understand the ‘plan’. When a relationship falls apart and broken hearts are left in the wake of the hurricane that plows through life, steps to recovery need to be taken. We’ll talk about those here.

While I have been on my own road to recovery there are things I have found and learned over the last year. What steps can we take and why are they important? According to divorce magaziene.com there are 10 not so easy steps to recovery.

  1. Don’t forget to ask for help
  2. Declutter
  3. Keep yourself busy
  4. Find yourself again
  5. Travel
  6. Give it time
  7. Things happen for a reason
  8. Find your focus
  9. Try to forgive
  10. Do not close your doors

I will say asking for help is important. This however comes with some pitfalls. Some friends are fair weather friends and will not be there to help support you in your time of need. In the event that happens try not to let that add to your pain. It will, but it’s important to focus on what you can change in your life. Declutter is so important. I failed in this category. I allowed myself to keep pictures, and objects that would remind me of my marriage and that would create hope and pain where perhaps there wasn’t any. It’s so important to pack this stuff up. We don’t necessarily need to destroy or get rid of this stuff, but putting it out of sight out of mind is very important. Yes that means facebook too.

Next is keeping yourself busy. This can be a very hard to achieve. This often requires friends to be around or you to be comfortable enough to venture out on your own. This too is a step I failed miserably. My activity average was very low. I found myself in the house unable and unwilling to go out by myself when I didn’t have anyone to spend time with. It’s important to find something, anything that you enjoy. For me my joys were Lego’s, Archery, Photography, and writing this blog. We can never forget Netflix. Sadly my injury had stopped a few of my options dead in it’s tracks, and Lego’s can be expensive, so that’s another thing to think about, the cost involved in this step. Finding hobbies and other means to keep busy should be inexpensive and not taxing or draining important resources.

We must learn to find out who we are. This is something I hear all the time. Take time for yourself. While this time period is different for everyone, it’s important not to dwell on the past. Find who you are without the love that’s no longer in your life. Find what about yourself you love, and stop the negativity in its tracks. When you are not the one to walk away in the marriage, when it’s something you didn’t expect or want, it’s difficult to combat the harsh feelings that keep into your mind. It’s important to reach out in times of need, and surround yourself with people who are positive and will lift you up, rather than tear you down.

While traveling may not be something everyone can do, a bit of change in scenery can be a world of difference. Getting out of the home you both had is important. Even getting out of the town or city though not viable for everyone, it’s still worth a thought.

Time, is both our friend, and our enemy. While time heals wounds, if that time is not treated with respect, it can create pain. We must learn how to balance time and effort. We must tell ourselves every day that tomorrow will be just a little better then today. We must learn to let go of the pain a little at a time. Let time be an ally and not an enemy.

We may not understand it, but everything happens for a reason. We may not ever get the answer to why our spouse decided to leave, or do whatever it is they did, but we must realize that for every tragedy, there is also opportunity. While this is perhaps one of the hardest things to do, that love we must hold for ourselves, and understand that tomorrow may be the day we meet someone new. We must understand that no one can ever replace the loved one lost, but we must understand that while we can’t replace someone, someone different can be just around the corner, someone that can become very special to us. We have to have faith in God, that God doesn’t want the faithful to be alone, and if we remain faithful to Christ, we will be rewarded when it’s God’s time.

Find focus and purpose in your life. We must allow ourselves to feel important in our own lives and some do this by reaching out to help others. Some do this by volunteering, or working longer hours, or spending time with family. Set written goals, and allow yourself to work towards them, but make sure your set goals are actually obtainable. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast. You don’t have to achieve everything all at once. Allow yourself to work at a reasonable pace towards those goals.

While I don’t believe in the word ‘try’ in the try to forgive, instead I will say forgiveness is not something to be earned. Forgiveness is something to be given freely because we are told to forgive in scripture. There’s not a single verse that says to forgive under some circumstances instead of others. No, we are told to forgive as our Father has forgiven us, and we will never have done enough or can never do enough to earn that forgiveness. It may take time to forgive because some people hold onto grudges, and while I can disagree with that notion, it’s a fact of life. Every day you must tell yourself, “I forgive you” no matter what it is, forgiveness is to let go of that anger, the hate, and to allow yourself be rid of the poison that fills your soul.

Don’t let the fear of striking out stop you from getting up to the plate. While not every relationship will turn to marriage, and not everyone you meet will turn into a relationship, we can’t be afraid to try. We never know what we may be passing up unless we try.

We don’t and won’t understand everyone’s actions and intentions, but it’s in our darkest of hours we may find what we are truly made of. Having faith in God and allowing ourselves to be good servants and stewards of God’s love and grace, we will be rewarded when the time is right. Colossians 3:23-24 “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” Always live to do hard works for Christ. When we live for the Lord, when we Love the Lord and give all the glory to the Lord, we will be given the Godly desires of our hearts. Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

 

 

 

OOPS

OOPS

Have you ever made a mistake, a big one that was life changing, but you didn’t know how to own up to it? The fact of the matter is, we are never going to be perfect, and sometimes we make mistakes that are so uncharacteristic the outside world is shocked at our behavior. It’s not a matter of if we make a mistake, or a big one, it’s how we own up to it. Galatians 5:5-8 “5 For every man shall bear his own burden. 6 Let him that is taught in the word communicate unto him that teacheth in all good things. 7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.” It’s important that we understand the nature of sin, and own up to it when we do.Oops3If you’re Batman, and you accidently crash your dune buggy into someone’s house, do you say oops? As a person, as a human being, we are broken into categories. We are both good and evil. Everyone has the potential for both, and every day we have the potential to make both good and bad choices. Every day we see the choices in our lives, along our path that gives us the opportunity to decide who we are. When we make a bad decision we have the choice to continue along that path or alter it for a new one.Ooops1

I think one thing above all else that’s important is your personal conscience. When we do bad things, does our conscience make us feel guilty, remorseful, or do we feel nothing for the pain and suffering we’ve caused? When we do awful things there’s only so much we can say to offer up an apology. Eventually that phrase, ‘I’m sorry’ only does so much. For me, the most important part is the action that defines us, that our heart may be deceived by the world, and the struggles to follow the right thing can only be found in the Word. It is in 2 Corinthians 1:12 that we find how to follow the right path. “For our proud confidence is this: the testimony of our conscience, that in holiness and godly sincerity, not in fleshly wisdom but in the grace of God, we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially toward you.” Knowing we have listened to God’s word and we have followed in Christ the best we can, maybe that’s how we know the difference between good and evil, right and wrong. When we no longer see the world as these things but it just is. The world owes us nothing, people in the world make good and bad decisions and how we choose to reciprocate, or choose to treat others, thats when we are put to the ultimate test. Being judged by God for what we do, how we do it, and hopefully our trust and faith in God, having the Holy Spirit within us, allowing it to guide us, that’s when we know our conscience will tell us the difference between right and wrong.

When we feel badly for wronging others, or we feel guilty for letting those around us down because of something we’ve done, that’s when we are being convicted by the grace of God to do right, to do good things. Bad things happen in the course of a life, we are responsible for some, not responsible for others. When we believe in the Lord, when we believe in the Holy Spirit we should have empathy for those who are hurting, suffering, and we should feel no desire to do harm to others. We would feel awful for causing pain and we should try everything we can to avoid doing such pain to anyone. Remember that when we do wrong, to make action to repent for a mistake. Right your wrongs, make good on your word, and let your word be your bond.

Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Our words are so very important in our lives. The words we utter should only edify. The words we share with others should be a reflection of our heart. The words we say show what’s inside us, and our word should mean and stand for something. Matthew 5:37 37 But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.” Don’t let Satan stain your heart in the ways of the wicked. Don’t allow yourself to be fooled and deceived by the deceiver. Lift up your heart to the Lord above, and when you wrong, right it, when you hurt, provide healing. In every wake of your wrongdoings provide adequate to ample repentance for the wicked you cause. Stand tall and firm against injustice, especially when you may have been the one to cause it.

 

 

The world fractured.

The world fractured.

The life live and breaks,

You cry allowed for heaven sakes.

The life you have and it all changes so fast,

No matter how much you want to change the past,

All you can do cry out at last.

The lovers lost, the feel, the sight, the touch,

No matter the time, you miss so much.

 

We can’t go back, but even if we could,

The biggest question is if we should.

The broken mug can’t be undone,

It seems cliché but what’s done is done.

 

When the heart is shattered and it feels broken into a thousand pieces, sometimes all you can do is take a step back and have faith. It’s hard after going through tragedy to learn to pick yourself up and move forward. Once broken your heart will never be the same. The more it happens the harder it is to put the pieces back together, over and over again. No matter how hard you try, there are always residual scars left behind. Humpty Dumpty will never look the same even if you glue everything back together just right. The fact is, we must learn to live with our scars, we must learn to live with the idea that in some way, we may be broken.

The nature of heart break, and baggage is something most adults have some degree of experience with. It’s important to face your demons head on and come to grips with them. God uses broken things, no matter how broken we think we are, God if given the opportunity can and will use us for the greater good. We must remember to have and keep the faith. It may be hard, but we have to have trust in Jesus, and that trust must over power the pain of what’s left behind after the storms blows through.

Try to keep in mind that just because something breaks, doesn’t mean it can’t be built back up better and brighter then it was before. Have faith that the end of one thing is the beginning of another.