Tag: Focus

The Thorn

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The Thorn

We all have something I hope that keeps us grounded to not boast of ourselves being conceited. I hope we all have something that keeps us in our place and reminds us that we are nothing without Christ. For me, I do not know what my thorn in, but I know what I loose, and every time I think I’ve begun to gain, I loose again, and again, and again, friendships. I have struggled with my loneliness, and my self worth that has been reliant on the approval and acceptance of others. The problem I had faced was not realizing when I had actually been accepted. I set my standards so high, even I’m not sure anyone was able to reach them. I think growing up I put so much weight on the friendships I saw on TV. I think back to the show ‘Boy Meets World’, where I put so much on the friendship between Cory and Shawn. Two peas in a pod, and yet I don’t know if I ever felt that kind of friendship with anyone. Now, looking back, I consider the relationship between Cory and Tapanga, and though I’ve been married twice, I don’t know if either wife has ever felt for me the same as I did them. I don’t believe, now I’m looking back, that anyone has felt for me the devotion perhaps they should have in order to get married. The thorn in my side is my faith in people and being let down over and over by the failures of those people in my life. It isn’t about the small mistakes people make, it’s how easily people walk away like the relationship, or me in particular didn’t mean anything to them. This of all things has been my biggest struggle, my biggest reminder of where I am. 2 Corinthians 12:7-9 “7 So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations,[a] a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

 I’ve been held in the grasp of fear, and loss, and rejection for far too long. I have given time, effort, and energy on people who have shown little respect for me. I have considered my life and experience to teach me how important close bonds are. I have had so many near death experiences I have figured out I view life and friendships and even more important, relationships as being so important in our life. I have always viewed that first thing in your life is God, and then second is those around you. With good friends and a good significant other you can actually achieve almost anything. It’s not about the quantity but the quality of the people you keep in your circle. For me, I have spent a lifetime trying to feel like I belong someplace. I have spent a lifetime feeling like an outsider, like I never fit in. To be honest I felt like young Hercules in the Disney film. The song ‘Go The Distance’ has been my theme song for many, many years. It’s kept me grounded to this world, and has kept me in perpetual agony all these years. Why couldn’t I find my place in this world? Why would everyone up and abandon me when the road got a little bumpy? I found the silence in my life to be defining, loud in my ears. The silence allowed my thoughts to be heard at a mile a minute. I couldn’t find how to silence them. The quiet turned my thoughts into a barrage of noise I couldn’t block out. The silence was a constant attack that would force me to listen to something, anything, just to drown out my own thoughts. The truth is though, it’s up for me to slow down, to focus, and pick and choose what I allow in. While I can’t say for sure if we can control our thoughts, we can control how we let them affect us.

Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” The whispers in our ear might be one of two things, the Devil’s lies and temptations, or the Holy Spirit guiding you. We often let our imagination run wild, and allow the worst thoughts to flood our minds. Those thoughts bring horrible feelings and anxiety, and with that it can bring depression, self-doubt, and a spiral downward we may not be able to stop. It’s in those moments I would implore you to focus on the moment. Proverbs 4:25 “Let your eyes look directly ahead And let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you.” Do not be fooled by the thoughts of tomorrow for you cannot control life moment to moment, only your own actions. We have two ways we can set our intentional focus. We can set them in the words of Mark 7:21 “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries,” Or we can focus on the words found in, Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” Each is a choice of constant effort in perspective. Do not allow the thorn to be stuck in your side as a negative thing. Instead remember it keeps you grounded and humble in front of the Lord. Praise God for all things, the good and the bad. Praise God for the successes we have, and also the failures, which bring us to our knees. Do not be made a victim of the lies of this world, instead be a light that shines above the darkness. Use that thorn to push you, to drive you to be better, not to succumb to its effects. I am moving in a positive direction with my own struggles, and I know with time, energy, and lots of prayer, you can too. Never give up hope, and never stop trying to focus on the positive lessons we can learn.

 

How Does It Feel?

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How Does It Feel?

Have you ever been in emotional distress? Have you ever been in a position where you were anxious but maybe you didn’t know why? Emotions can be powerful, and sometimes they can be overwhelming. In the first step of managing distress, we must first change the physiological response. There are several ways we can do this, and the first step no matter what it is, or the cause, is to stop and realize what’s going on. Moving out of emotion mind and moving into wise mind using reason mind to pull us to center. If you feel so mad you’re shaking, or you get so mad you fly off the handle and throw stuff, or you yell, or punch walls, it’s a good bet you’re in pure fledged emotion mind. Often strong emotions can be destructive, so when we find ourselves in that mindset, lets take a moment to realize where we are, and step back. From every thought there is a feeling, and with every feeling there is an action. We must learn to stop between the feeling and consider what that action may be. We must be able to recognize our actions and determine what the consequence will be. James 1:19 “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:” When we take a moment to listen to the Holy Spirit in our hearts, we should feel a conviction to calm ourselves or at least recognize the flesh/sin behavior in ourselves. Assess your thought into the feeling, and once the feeling comes, take a moment to pause before that feelings becomes an action. Remember, once something is said or done there is no rewind button. The things we say, and do may have a lasting effect upon our lives. For every opportunity we have to control our actions, we have the possibility to show our witness as living in Christ.

When you feel the strong emotions inside you building, step back and find a way to temporarily lower your physical response. An ice pack below your eyes onto your cheeks can lower your response. There are many steps you can take to help lower your distress. You can do 20 minutes of extensive exorcise or physical activity. We want to make sure these things are healthy. No punching walls is not healthy, nor is punching people, pets, or any other nonsense like that. Deep breathing techniques are a favorite of mine. I often mix this with muscle relaxation. This is the process of tightening muscle groups on the inhale, and relaxing them on the exhale. This works from head to toe. There are other things we can do, such as stepping out of our stressor for a few moments and breathe. We can phone a friend to help calm down, or engage in something we know for a fact relaxes us. Disclaimer, I am not talking about substances such as drugs or alcohol. This is using your mind and body to help heal itself in distress.

These things take time and when they are put into practice and grow in skill, you will find what works better, and what doesn’t. As I mentioned breathing and muscle works well for me in the moment, but if I am feeling stressed, or anxious, if I can, I try to build a Lego set, or go for a walk, play a video game, or read. If we are honest with ourselves, we don’t have to keep our cups (of stress) full. I was told recently how PTSD is like climbing a mountain. While we may never reach the top there will be moments when we reach plateaus, but more importantly, what we choose to carry in our rucksack is entirely up to us. There will be things from our past that many of us carry with us, but if we’re being honest we don’t have to. Some things that shape you, you need with you, so some things in your pack are mandatory, but others are entirely optional. It’s taken me years to start getting to a healthy weight in my own pack, but for the first time in my life, I feel lighter then I’ve been in a long time.

We must learn the heart of Christ. In Christ we must learn that our lips, our tongues. We are ambassadors of Christ and we must be honest with ourselves and find who we are again. Managing your PTSD, anxiety, depression is an Odyssey of your own. The journey may not be a quick and easy one, but with time, effort, endurance, and patience you too will one day make it home. PTSD, or any of the other ailments people may suffer from does not define you. If anyone is like me I was always worried how people would treat me if they knew what I suffered with. I was always worried how I would be judged, and even though Jesus on more then one occasion told us not to judge one another. Even though I like to think I follow that code, others don’t. We are a judgmental people, and my flesh desire to fit in has kept me in my own pain for a long time. Once I finally admitted to myself that I was honestly the one holding myself back by forcing myself to stay trapped in my own negative judgments. This was depression, a lack of motivation, staying in the house, avoiding social events, and trying to make connections online because it was easier then facing people directly afraid of rejection. When I realized I was keeping myself stuck on the side of the mountain, my rucksack heavy, weighing me down, I was unable to pick myself up to continue on. Are we holding onto guilt, and shame, fear, and loss on our daily walk? How much pain are we holding onto? When will decide to finally let it go, and live in our moment? I know when I was on a ruck march in the military I loved the feeling of finally releasing those straps and feeling the weight of my ruck leave my shoulders. When we hold onto all those things, every day we are adding more stress, more anxiety, more troubles, and more trials to our bags. We can allow the weight to crush us, or we can drop the stuff we don’t need today, and drive on. Our mission is to keep working our way up the hill, and we must learn to pack the mission essentials, and drop everything else.

Allow yourself to feel and to live in the moment. Allow your sins to flow to God for forgiveness and don’t hold onto them anymore. Make amends for wrong doings, and then move forward. Philippians 3:13-14 “13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” There was a famous monkey one time that had great advice. “The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.” (Rafiki) The message is so plain and simple, yet one of the hardest things we may ever try to put into action. The concept of dealing with your past and not holding onto it is centuries old. Isaiah 43:18-19 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. 19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

So how do you feel? Do you feel like you’re in control over your emotions, or do they control you? Do you feel you are in control over your own weight you carry, or is crushing you? If you don’t have control fear not, you can gain control. You have the power to rise above your self. Don’t be a slave to your own mind any longer. Trust in the healing power of God, and go to God with your prayers of healing, and your gracious gratitude for the many blessings we all have. No day is without them for each morning we draw breath is a gift. Have faith in yourself to be able to overcome and push forward. Do not doubt yourself, and do not doubt the healing power of the Holy Spirit. Never quit, and never give up. Keep pushing up that hill.

 

The Uneven Path

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The Uneven Path

A journey walked with the Lord may not be a smooth path, but often in life it’s the uneven path that leads to the most reward. We can see this in nature also. Recently I was in South Carolina and on a hike, once off the beaten path I found myself climbing a cliff to get to the middle of the top of a waterfall. It took strength, faith, and courage, but once on the top, despite the risk, it was worth it. To sit in the middle of a 75-foot or more waterfall was amazing. The serenity it brought was astonishing. Without taking the time to follow the uneven path, the wonders of what was hidden in the forest would not have been seen. Getting there wasn’t easy, but the beauty I saw with my own eyes was worth every struggle.

I’ve put a lot of thought in the paths of life. Many people choose to just go with the flow, but although it may be easier, and offer less in the way of pain, do we ever reach our true potential if we don’t push ourselves? Psalm 25:4-5 “4 Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. 5 Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.” The path we choose to take may often show God our true nature. Are we the type to make the right decision no matter who’s watching? Do we have a sense of dignity, or integrity? Integrity is “doing the right thing even when no one’s watching.” It’s not easy walking the path of righteousness, but God see’s not just our actions, but also the content of our heart. The path of Christ is a difficult one. The trials that come to those who are followers of our Lord and Savior can often be crushing. If we are saved however, the worst they can do is break us down. While we aren’t perfect, and we feel, the life we live will have it’s obstacles. The thing with the uneven path is the beauty that lies beyond the struggle. Nothing in this life is free, and often the biggest reward comes from the most effort.

Sometimes to get the chance to see the view you have to climb the rugged path. We never know our true capability until we challenge ourselves. We never know what we’re made of till we are pushed to our limit and then beyond. When we are put in a position to throw our comfort zone out the window, and face the bitter cold water, the rugged root path, the freezing cold rapids, we see what we’re made of. This last week I watched as my fellow veteran brothers as they were pushed to their limits, and then beyond. From a fear of heights, debilitating, and yet no matter what it was, everyone, every single person, pushed themselves beyond what they thought they could manage, and overcame their threshold. It was beautiful watching men rediscover their inner boyhood, and heal wounds long overdue.

Jeremiah 17:14 “Heal me, O LORD, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise.” In all things Christ can heal. In the will of God nothing is to big, nothing is to small. We praise our Lord and Savior and we follow Christ, the healing power of those waters can heal the wounds of our hearts. Being damaged is not the end of the road but the beginning of a new. In the morning you will wake up and you will feel the flame, and you will feel yourself on fire. The Holy Spirit can move you, heal you, and shape you. The hurt from our rugged path can feel crushing, but as we forge steel, the fire burns away the impurities, and what’s left is a sword of righteousness. Let that path shape you, let it move you beyond the norm, and find yourself among the hidden beauty in the woods. God’s waiting for you, and the day your path leads you to that clearing, and you see the fire, grab on tight, and don’t loose hope, don’t loose faith, let it burn away all the things you aren’t. Find your path to Christ and get up and move. Your path can lead you to wide wonders, or disaster. We have so many choices in our life, every thought, to feeling, to action, what do we choose to do with our time? When we spend our days struggling to make sense of what’s wrong on the inside, are we making a choice to sit in our sorrow, or are we lost in it? I think it’s a little of both. In our walk, especially mine with PTSD, some days the best I can achieve is getting out of bed and opening my eyes. Other days I’m on fire for the Lord and I go out and preach my heart out. It’s a roller coaster for sure, but every day we have is a gift. We are more today then we were yesterday. Every day our brain is filled with the food we put in to it. We can fill our brain with positive thoughts that grow us, thoughts that make us better, or, we can fuel our mind with doubt, anger, hate, and sorrow. Making the change isn’t easy, but it can be done. See when we are trying to change the way we think, when we are trying to change the fundamentals of our thoughts, it’s an uneven, rocky path.

Here’s the thing we all need to remember, Christ washed away the worst parts of our journey for us. The blood of Christ spilt turned the impassible gorge of hellfire and brimstone, to a bridge of light. We have hope now in our walk, and though there will be obstacles to challenge us along the way, there’s nothing we can’t overcome. We may have to take the path less traveled, but as long as we keep our Azimuth north, and we check and recheck our path, we will one day reach the bridge of light. Sure we’ll have some small cliffs, maybe some wild animals to contend with, but no matter what we face, we know that the Lord of all creation is with us. We know that God can do wonderful things because of how many points we can turn to in scripture. Jesus calms the storm, or Jesus turning water into aged wine. We must have faith in our walk and know that in our time of need, our prayers will be heard. Matthew 17:20 “He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.” No matter the difficulty we face, tomorrow is a new day. If we can just get through the day, sometimes even the moment, the next one will come. Life can be hard, and sometimes people question this life we live. Life is always, always worth living. We never know what this journey has to offer, and although the journey may be strong some days, the beauty that awaits us later is worth every ounce of pain today. Have hope and look to tomorrow. Trust in the Lord that he is with you, near you, helping you and guiding you. We must learn to remove ourselves from the voice in the wind that lies to us. The Devil will try many different ways to break you down, but you must remain strong, keep the faith, and focus on the goals.

Recently I found myself in a situation I was very uncomfortable. I was freezing, and wet. I couldn’t feel my toes, and my hands felt like they where stuck in a particular position, but in my head, I forced the negative feelings out, and I kept focusing on the task at hand. I focused on my brothers in my raft, and keeping them on task, motivated. I reassured, and led from the front. Each one of my brothers struggled in different ways, and despite our hurt, we came together and accomplished our task. It’s amazing how no matter where you find yourself, your brain has the ability to compensate and get you through. Face your fears, and face your inner demons. Find your purpose by searching God’s word, and God’s grace. You are perfectly made by our Father, and you have been given gifts to use for the Glory of our King. Don’t be scared of the journey, instead be afraid of what you might miss if you don’t take it. There is so much beauty in this world, and we need to be willing to take the chance to see it. We can’t foresee what tomorrow may bring, but we can’t allow the unknown to scare us away from greatness. We only get to live this life once, and the worst life can do is end, if that happens we know if Jesus is our rock, our center, the end for this life is just the beginning of a better one after. Paradise awaits us for those willing to take the uneven path.

 

 

Rested

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Rested

 After a year and some change of writing it became clear to me a vacation was needed. I only intended to post for a year and one day, but as fate would have it, when that time came I was compelled to write and post. God however is not without a certain sense of humor. 16 days after my last blog I was suppose to write I was selected to attend a project Odyssey, hosted by Wounded Warrior Project. What I had planned was to write and blog my experiences, but instead I found poor cell phone signal, and no Internet. Fate it seems was for me to take a vacation like it or not.

The week would be a week I will not likely forget anytime soon. I found something along the way, and lost something also. I would face many challenges along my journey, my own odyssey. As I would go from day to day I would face it and it forced me to search and dig deep inside myself. While the physical challenges wouldn’t come till Wednesday, the emotional gut check started nearly right away. The entire Odyssey I would face my emotional challenge of not withdrawing into myself. I have always felt that I never truly fit in, even around people I knew for years. Finding my place has always been a challenge for me. For me the trials it seems has been in my own head, and not founded in reality. I didn’t realize this until September 21st 2016. I was faced with this reality and it forced me to do some deep internal soul searching. As my journey to find and make new friends seemed to be failing, God again, is not without a sense of humor. In one week I would make 13 new brothers, and find my own place within the group. I would go from Mango to Preacher. I would make a transformation and I would realize that I have a place in this world. I would meet a man that I would have such a close connection to because of our personal connection. We have influenced one another’s lives despite not ever meeting. It’s clear to me that God has been working in my life to bring a thousand pieces together.

Sometimes in our life we need to take a step back, and refocus our place. For me, this week gave me the opportunity to learn from others going through similar and worse situations then myself. The ability to step back and learn what it means to be a child of the King is so important. We are all important to God and how we choose to act, and behave is important. I hope in the following weeks I’m able to take what I have found and what I’ve learned, and put it to use within my daily blogs and more importantly my daily walk in Christ. Going forward without the set standard to post daily, now I will post when I am ready to post. Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” I know finding rest in today’s world is hard. We are a go society, and the idea of actually taking time off to rest, for many is a foreign ideal. The thing is we can easily become wrapped up in life and forget to live.

For years I have struggled to find myself, and feel at peace with the battle waging within. I saw myself in the mirror and questioned much. Facing the pain of if I fit in or not, and questioning my own self worth, I came to find peace this week. It’s not easy to live in the positivity and forcing a change in personality to be a person of light instead of darkness. From the time we have a thought, to the feeling, to action, we have the ability to make a choice to how we allow something to affect us. We are faced with perspective all the time in life, but with practice we can get better with not letting as much bother us, or at the very least, how long we allow it to stay in our lives. Peace, is a blessing, and a gift when it comes. Psalm 4:8 “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety.” Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, the life, and in our life, our faith will be what we have to grip to when the road gets bumpy. When you are lost, you must first rest to collect your thoughts. Take time to meditate on the word, slow your breathing, and re-center. When you are lost and weary rest your head on the lap of Abba. I went seeking friendship, but what I found was a friend within myself. I found a piece of myself that I thought was long forgotten. I am a warrior and I’m a warrior for Christ. I am worth more then I think I am, and in Jesus I am going to inherit paradise. I have been saved by the blood, and living in the living waters of the Holy Spirit gives me peace. Find your grace and peace. Find your breath, and follow the light. Take time every day to rest your mind in prayer and meditation. I think every day we need to take a short time and focus on our mental health. Give our brain time to rest. Don’t get lost in the world, get lost in the Word of God. I now have 13 Brothers to hold me accountable. I found more on my Odyssey then I ever imagined I could. I am worth while, I am a Warrior, and I am a child of the King.

 

The Weight

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The Weight

It’s heavy, the weight we carry. The fears, doubts, regrets, the pain we’ve allowed to build year after year. The crushing weight under the cross we belong to. It’s got our name on it, and it’s our responsibility. In the years I’ve been carrying my cross I’ve watched it get bigger, and bigger through the years. Sometimes it grows slowly over time, and sometimes it seems like it doubles in size. The weight we are to carry, but never are we to carry alone. Matthew 11:28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” While we are commanded to carry the cross. Luke 9:23 “23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” We are commanded to pick it up, and walk with Christ. We wear it like a badge of honor, but what happens when it gets to heavy? The weight we are never meant to keep. We are never meant to hold everything in and let it bury us. Sin adds up and if we let it, we get buried in our own suffering, an endless circle with no way out. That’s the lie the Devil would have you believe. That your sin is your death, the debt that you must carry for all of time. We are to carry it like an old friend, a friend that stays with us like our own shadow. The shadow in our mind that grows, storing the silence that echo’s in the walls of our brains. The journey however is not cold and dark as we are led to believe. The weight is not ours alone. The Devil wants us to think we have to be silent in our struggle. The Devil wants us to think we are weak if we cannot carry our cross alone. The Devil wants us to be alone, cut off from the light.

I have failed in my walk with the Lord more then once. I let the darkness build inside me. I held it like an old teddy bear. I kept it close but hid it away during the day. In the darkness of the night I would take it out and embrace it for a moment. My own self-inflicted punishment. I was weak and I knew I was. I kept it in because I was ashamed of my feelings. I was ashamed of the horrors I re-watched every night when I closed my eyes. I fell for the lie and I allowed the weight to break me down so far I was vulnerable when something big came along. I reached out and found myself rejected by those who were supposed to help. When I reached out my hand was slapped away, and I recoiled even farther into myself. I heard the whispers and they grew louder, till all I could hear was how weak I was. How I should feel low, and useless. I believed the lies of not being loved. I lost my fight against the weight I was carrying, and laying on the ground, crushed by it, I watched as everything I worked for in my life was ripped violently away from me. In my darkest, deepest hour of sorrow, the truth rose up and brighter then the sun, the Devil, the lies, the evil that surrounded me was forced to retreat back to the shadows. The hand of Jesus picked me up and hugged me close. The truth was made clear, and a revelation of what it means to be washed in the light of the Lord was unmistakable. Silence was a cancer that grew, but the light of the universe, our Lord and savior is the answer to the disease. And the people tied him to a tree, and murdered him. His blood was spilt, and we laughed and cast lots. We were given a choice, a criminal, or Jesus. In our ignorance, our hatred, our anger, we poured our sin into an innocent man. A man who would spread his arm to those who caused him to suffer a death worse then any could imagine. He spread his arms not in returned hate, but in forgiveness and love. He was not silent in his final moments. He spread his arms, he absolved us of our sins, by asking the Father to forgive us, for we do not know what we do. Our father, a gracious, loving father split the veil, and we were not doomed to suffer the crushing weight of sin any longer.

In Numbers 11:11-15 Moses cries to the Lord about the burdens he is carrying. The people are hungry, and are calling for him to bring an end to their suffering. He feels the weight of this burden and he feels he cannot bare it alone. He cries to the heavens asking God to either answer his prayers or to end his life. In verse 16 the Lord tells him to bring forth the elders that they may help him bare the burdens of the flock. I say to you, when you find yourself in need, turn to the Lord and he will answer your prayers and give you someone to lean on. Jesus would fall, weak, and carrying his cross he would fall. Matthew 27:32 “As they went out, they found a man of Cyrene, Simon by name. They compelled this man to carry his cross.” There’s no shame asking for help. There’s no shame admitting the day’s been a little to strong, the weight to heavy, the problems too big. I say we must find the strength inside to put down our pride, and go to the Lord in prayer. The Lord will give you someone to help you carry your burden.

Lean On Me By, Bill Withers

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there’s always tomorrow

 Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on

 Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you won’t let show

 You just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you’ll understand
We all need somebody to lean on

 Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on

 You just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you’ll understand
We all need somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can’t carry
I’m right up the road
I’ll share your load

 

I know it seems like you might be alone in your life, but that’s not true. That’s the lie, and the Devil won’t stop telling it to you. Don’t listen to the darkness. When the darkness knocks at your door, turn away back to the light. Lift your head, your arms, and welcome the light into your heart. Let the Holy Spirit wash over you, removing the past sins. Don’t allow the silence to grow like a cancer inside you. Silence kills, it takes so many lives each and every day. The darkness will always creep just outside the walls, but when we keep the light of Jesus burning in our hearts and minds, the darkness cannot remain in the presence of light. Sing praises to the Lord of all and the praises of joy, of love will cancel out the silence and the whispers of the Devil will fall short to the music of Love. Hope, love, and praise will win over silence, pain, and despair. Fear, doubt, disbelief, let it all go. It’s time to drop your sins at the foot of the cross and lighten your load. Place your hope in Jesus and thank God yesterday’s gone. All your sins are forgiven, so carry them no more.

Who we are in Christ

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Who we are in Christ

In the walk with Christ we Christians come in all shapes and sizes. We come in all different walks of life. Some are rich, and some pour, some are big and some are small. Some Christians grow in their faith and suffer through their trials and move forward. While some other Christians live through hell on earth and face the demons more often then others. We don’t always know why some have a harder time then others, but perhaps one day when we get to Heaven we can ask the Lord Almighty. I have spent a lot of time reflecting lately over my life. I’ve spent a great deal of time looking back on my mistakes, my trials, my traumas, and facing my pain head on. In the time I’ve been doing that I’ve gotten to know some new people who’s had life so easy it has led me to question my own Godly purpose. God trains his soldiers, and often times God’s chosen people to fight for Him are those with battle scars. Those people in scripture to lead the chosen people were people who by a carefully crafted plan came to the place where God needed them to be. We see this in Moses, Joseph, Esther, Paul, and so many others. Unlikely men and women who were used to shape the Bible we have. Who are we to God? We are God’s creation, God’s children. We live our life for a single purpose to live in Christ, to Love our God and to submit to his phenomenal cosmic power.

As I have spent so much time pondering my past, I have come to realize the fire is hotter for some because the mission, the calling they are on by God is a harder more daunting path. Everyone has their part to play, but as I have slowly come to realize, my crucible has burned away so much of what I wasn’t to reveal the true power inside. It’s not a matter of how much I’ve fallen, it’s more important that I’ve continued to grow, I’ve continued to move forward no matter the hell fire the Devil has thrown at me. The fire I’ve gone through has left me burnt, battered, bruised, and in some ways broken, but I know that God uses broken things. This body will be reborn one day, as my spirit continues to fight and face the earthly torments. Some days I fall to my knees and pray, I cry, and I beg God to heal me. I beg to be delivered from the evil that surrounds me, and I know that he hears me, even if my prayers aren’t answered right away. I have begged God’s mercy to wash away my sins. I have prayed that God forgive me my faults, my wrong doing, and have mercy on me, and clean my slate. I beg to be remade in the waters of life, and become more then I am.

It doesn’t matter who we are if we are a follower of Christ we are part of one body. From the day you give up yourself, and watch your old self die, you become a new person. You reject the life of old, and embrace the life of new. I think back at my life, and I see, it feels like the man I was is so far away from me. Over these years I know I’ve lost bits and pieces of myself, and now I look back and wonder if those pieces can ever be recovered, or if I need to embrace today, and trust in the Lord. Even with my trust in the Lord I ask who I am. My soul is tormented and I feel like Heaven’s so far away from me. The mirror is broken, and the reflection is me from different times. When you look in the mirror who do you see? Are you a musician, a pastor, a preacher, a child of the King? What does your walk through life look like compared to my own? What torments do you have in your closet? What does your past give you to offer God? If you’ve been beaten and abused can you use that to spread the gospel? If you’ve been rapped can you use that to preach the word of God? In every one of my trials somewhere in that trial I found God was the reason I was able to either make it through, or God pulled be through. I know that nothing in my life has happened of my own power, but the power of God in me.

It doesn’t matter what our walk through life looks like. It doesn’t matter what job we have, or what we may have done yesterday. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of. We’ve all walked a sinful path, and we all have regrets. The Devils been at this game for a long time and we are behind the curve trying to play by rules that we haven’t learned yet.

No matter where you’ve been or what you’ve done you have the chance to turn your life around and follow Christ. Wherever you have been we must remember that we can’t judge any by the path they’ve walked because we just don’t know. We must not judge a book by the color of someone’s skin. The walk they walk, or the way they talk must not be what we see, instead look deeper to the heart. We need to find a way to see through the eyes of God. The world can be a cruel place, but if we stop turning on one another, stop judging one another for our differences, we may actually come together as the church. Find the love within and stop holding grudges over every small thing someone says. Don’t be so quick to get offended. Don’t be so quick to pass judgment. Don’t be so quick to rebuke someone because their opinion may differ from your own. We are all God’s children and wherever you are in your walk, we must show the example of what it means to be Christ like. The sad fact is there is a lot of Christians out there not living in the word of God. There’s a lot of people who claim to be a follow of Christ, but only in name, not in actions or works. I walk this path, and I have suffered loss, and it tears me up inside. I feel sometimes like I’m alone, lost in the desert. Nothing in sight from horizon to horizon, and I quench for water, but none to be had. I feel as if I’m chapped by the sun, cracked and broken as I stumble through the blazing hot sand. I’ve been broken more then my share, yet I’ve been picked up and I’ve shown the way the light, God. Every day I wake up I can thank God for my yesterday and that it’s behind me. I praise God for the breath in my lungs. I thank God for my roof, for my many blessings, and as I continue to move forward I thank God for my forgiven sins, my answered prayers, and even the unanswered ones. Live for God, live for now, live for the time we have. Encourage others and take the time to move outside your comfort zone. Just because someone looks, or sounds different doesn’t mean they aren’t a Child of God. We’re alive an we are only alive because Jesus rose and saved us from our Sins. He didn’t just save the rich, or the poor. He didn’t just save the educated, or the high school drop out. He died and rose for everyone, the criminal and the saint. Who are we to judge someone in any walk of life? Put down your bigotry, put down your racism, put down your misconceptions, and learn how to love. We are who we are, and when we walk in Christ we are to live in peace. We pray for the sinner, we love the saint, and we love the sinner no matter the faults they may have.

We all get lost, but we can all be found. Open your eyes and open your heart. We all hurt at some point, but we must learn not to stay in our pain forever. Don’t loose hope and when you’re in the middle of the storm remember who’s still in control? The water that quenches the thirst, and the love that beats out any hate. The blood that gives life and beats death runs for all who accept. Christ’s blood extended the bridge for us, and in the fight for our selves, we must remember no one can steal your salvation. The judgment from others can hurt our feelings, it can sting and cut deep, but the opinion that matters most above all else is that of God. If you are living to please God then the rest doesn’t matter. Please the Lord your blessings will be greater then your imagination can offer.

Our Time

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Our Time

When the morning sun rises over the horizon and you see the first rays of light, you don’t often question if it’ll be your last. We live by the minutes we have, but we rarely put thought into the actual thought of living. When you look at the sunrise and think how beautiful it is, or how you see the person you love, we don’t wonder if it’s the last time. There was a day so many years ago now, which brought all these questions to mind. As time has moved passed I often forget how quickly that life can be. In just a fleeting moment the world as we know it can be rocked by change, and how we are forever changed. As we wake this morning and we go about our day, for me today is a reminder to be vigilant in my thoughts. We suffer so much pain, and we suffer so much loss, but when we forget to live, that’s the true tragedy. How do we honor the dead? We honor the dead by fighting. We honor the dead by living, and to do so with thought. We cannot just wake up every day and exist, that we must truly live our lives. The day will come when we are called home, but if that day is not today, we must live life with zest. We must open our eyes every morning, and be grateful to the one who gives life. We live this life and this is our time, but it’ll never come again.

When the days are numbered, how can we say we lived our life? Will we count our days by missed opportunities? Will we count them by the number of lives we touched? Will we count them by the number of lives we destroyed? No matter the form of measurement in your life, be sure to live your life for the moment. Be sure that in that moment, the fleeting moments we are here, make a difference. Live a life that is full of love and a life that is pleasing to God. Be a beacon of hope in a world full of darkness. Live your life in the light so others can see. We only get one shot at life, and we never know when the day our ticket gets punched, so live every day with the heart for God. Live every day loving your friends, loving your family. Live every day with the thought, tomorrow may not come. Don’t live out your days thinking ‘I thought I’d have more time.’ Today is the day you have, and tomorrow isn’t promised.

John 10:7-15 “7 So Jesus again said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. 8 All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9 I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. 11 I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd, who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. 13 He flees because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. 14 I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep.”

We are the lost sheep living this life, and a shepherd came to give us hope. In that hope we now live, no longer in the darkness, but the light of the world. Although we live dust to dust, we are more then the sum of our flesh. We have the living waters that flow over our hearts when we open them to the Lord. Genesis 3:19 “By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” No longer are we here to live and die, but instead we are here to live and live. We live this life so one day we can live in eternal life. Ecclesiastes 3:20-21 “All go to one place. All are from the dust, and to dust all return. 21 Who knows whether the spirit of man goes upward and the spirit of the beast goes down into the earth?” We are given the choice of how we want to live, and in that choice so shall we be judged.

Today as I remember the dead, I recall the valley, which I gazed upon. I saw the face of evil and I will forever remember the horror, which lives in the hearts of man. The ability to take life, to extinguish a child of God, with no remorse or conscious, is truly a terrifying place. To witness such evils, reminds us that though Christ died to break the bonds of death, we still fight for the souls of the living. Not all who live shall live, and all the while not all that die shall die. If you are to live, live for love, live for Christ, and in Christ love all. Love all who live and pray for those whom you love, but in turn, pray for those whom wish to do hate. As it is said, love the sinner, and hate the sin. Today which is a day to remember, I pray for the souls of those who sought to do harm, and I pray with forgiveness in my heart, yet a prayer of God’s righteous vengeance. For it is not my place to judge the living, nor is it my place to judge the dead, but to love and pray for both. Romans 12:19 “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” I place my belief upon the Lord, and I pray for those who have trespassed against me, and I pray for my own heart that it be healed in my time of pain. I pray that I shall find peace in the knowledge that vengeance is not of my own hand, but in the hand of the Lord. I pray that we in this life find justice, not vengeance. Deuteronomy 32:35 “To me belongeth vengeance, and recompence; their foot shall slide in due time: for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste.” Justice is restoring balance, and I trust in the Lord, which holds eternal balance in his righteous hands.

 

The Sinner’s Hatred

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The Sinner’s Hatred

Sinners have a tendency to hate those they’ve sinned against. Anger or convicted, but you decide which one is it? If you’ve ever been wronged and you’ve tried to share your feelings with the person who wronged you, have you ever been made to feel somehow it was your fault? We often see this as someone makes a large mistake. In my own life I’ve seen how someone can have an affair one of the most awful things you can do to your spouse, and instead of feelings remorse, the person was filed with hate, and cruelty. How quickly the love shared between two people can vanish in an instant. 2 Samuel 13:17-19 “17 Then he called his personal servant and said, “Get rid of her. Put her out, and bolt the door behind her.” 18 (She was wearing a long-sleeved gown. The king’s virgin daughters wore this kind of robe.) So his servant took her out and bolted the door behind her.” Instead of facing the sin Amnon who had lust for his half sister hated her for his sin. Insult to injury as it were.

People don’t want to be wrong, and they certainly don’t like taking the blame for things they’ve done wrong. As the old saying goes it’s easier to hate then it is to love. When we place our desires in the hands of sinful natures the desires become infected and they change. I’ve seen good people, loving people change their personalities overnight. I’ve seen people walk away from the path and the compass that once pointed north, spun out of control and the darkness spread and took over blinding them of the good natured person they once were. People who fall to sin hide from the truth. The sin inside builds and eventually builds upon itself. If it’s not taken care of it spreads in the body, and eventually affects everything we do.

When someone you love attacks you in their own sin, all we can do is remember that sin is like an illness. We must return hatred with love. We must learn to stay calm and learn when to walk away to save face. Sometimes all we can do is pray for our loved one. Pray they find their way back and allow God back into their heart. We need to remember that most disappointment is because we expect too much of people and to little of God. Matthew 18:15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” Now it won’t always be that easy. Most people will probably fight you when you point out their sins. If someone fails to listen to you, perhaps you may have better luck with strength in numbers. Matthew 18:16 “But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.”

Knowing and understanding why someone is so mean and cruel sometimes, especially when it’s from someone you care for, doesn’t change how much it hurts. Knowing that hurting people hurt others isn’t going to alter our perception of their actions. I have watched my loved ones turn on me and say and do things I never thought possible. While they have shown the struggle within, ultimately I saw them loose the fight of sin, and succumbed to the darkness. We cannot watch the people we care about succumb to the darkness inside, and succumb ourselves. We must learn to step back and pray for those around us while at the same time protecting ourselves. We cannot be baited by sin into the dark emotions. Fight the darkness by loving. Love others as God so loved you. God’s guidance is eternal, and we must stay on the path of light.

 

Shields Up

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Shields UP!

Do you have insurance for your home, or your car, or how about life insurance? There are so many promises out there in insurance, but not all policies are created equal. We don’t want to move our money into a place that is just draining our resources, and not actually giving us the protection we need in an emergency. There are so many things we are told to sell us on our insurance policy, but we need to do our homework to actually realize what’s a good deal and what isn’t.

In the case of insurance for your life, and I’m not talking about what you pay for in a policy, I’m talking about the life insurance I like to call fire insurance. Jesus Christ paid the bill for us, and of course I’m talking about our eternal life, not the mortal body. Now, I want to be clear, this isn’t an emergency policy to allow you to do what you want, and right at the last minute you can say, ‘I’m sorry, please forgive me.’ We are judged for all of our actions, and our sins. You have to have Jesus in your heart, and God knows the feelings in your heart. We can’t live our lives how we want to thinking all we need to do is say an I’m sorry and still think we will be accepted into Heaven. Do you believe that Jesus Christ is your personal Lord and Savior, and that you will be made to answer for your sins? When you follow Christ and you allow the Holy Spirit into your heart, you will not live life the same way. You will be filled with convictions, and you will have repulsion to sinful behavior. If you have Christ in your heart you will have a physical reaction to sinful behaviors. You will notice a change within your life, and how you choose to live. This will change the types of behaviors you engage in, the friends you have based on their behaviors, and you will undoubtedly loose friends when you find yourself living in Christ.

It’s important to remember that the Devil will try to give you short-term policies. I can do this sin, and all I need to do is ask for forgiveness. The thing with this idea which is very popular in our society now, is that it’s a lie straight from the Devil. The Devil whispers in our ear pulling us into temptation, trying to get us to follow our desires, and to get us hooked. Our insurance policy that was paid for my Christ covers us, but the catch we have to submit ourselves to the Lord. We must learn the difference between scripture and societal worldview.

We must withstand the fire from above, and below as the Devil will try to hit us with volley after volley. Ephesians 6:16 “In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;” We must guard our hearts and our minds from attacks that come in all manner of shapes and sizes these days. The battle for our hearts and minds wages on, and we must remember that salvation is not just fire insurance, but like a contract we must uphold our end of the bargain. We must look to our own sins, and remember that sin is not freedom. We cannot burn our own house down and expect insurance to pay for it. Thus we cannot sin freely and expect to be welcomed into heaven. Yes the blood of Christ paid for your sins, but a soul truly saves, that truly understands the blood sacrificed on Calvary’s cross has a repulsion to sin. Matthew 26:28 “For this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins.” Keep watch for the predator that tried to creep his way inside. Protect yourself and know that you do have the blood assurance that you will be saved on the Day of Judgment, but salvation isn’t free. We must offer up ourselves to serve the Lord. Our hearts and minds are our payment. When we follow Christ, we know our sins will be forgiven. Remember we must go to the Lord in prayer, ask for the forgiveness of our sins, ask for repentance in our hearts, and ask for protection of our minds. Hebrews 13:20 “Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant,”

 

 

 

He Bled For Me and You

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He Bled For Me and You

You bled for me so I may be free. You gave your life, through all the strife. They nailed you to a wooden cross, oh my what a treacherous double-cross. You came to show the love to us, the masses around raised quite a fuss. They hung you on a tree, for all the world to see. We in this world must have trust, when the time comes we are more then dust.

Matthew 27: 45-50 “45 Now from the sixth hour[a] there was darkness over all the land[b] until the ninth hour.[c] 46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” 47 And some of the bystanders, hearing it, said, “This man is calling Elijah.” 48 And one of them at once ran and took a sponge, filled it with sour wine, and put it on a reed and gave it to him to drink. 49 But the others said, “Wait, let us see whether Elijah will come to save him.” 50 And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice and yielded up his spirit.” What would you give up for your friends? Would you be willing to sacrifice yourself for your friends? Would you be willing to give up everything to save someone you didn’t know? What about people that hated you? Would you be willing to give your life for your enemies? John 15:13 “13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

I’ve been thinking a lot about my life lately. I’ve been thinking about my friends, my enemies (not that I have any) and those whom are no longer apart of my life. I consider my place in this world, and what I would to for my friends. When I was in Iraq I always thought I would die doing something heroic. I would dream about it, always wondering how my last day would go. If we are to truly be one with Christ we must allow ourselves to think like him. Life is hard enough as it is, when you add the cruelty in this world, the horrible things we do one another must not continue. We must learn to love one another, and to lift one another up, not tear each other down.

Christ knows my pain, he knows my sorrow, and he knows your suffering. The Lord who is on high loves and cherishes you, and he bled for you so we may be free from the bondage of sin. Christ died a sacrificial death, a hero to give us hope in a world that was dark. If Christ died for you and me, what will you do with the life you’re given? To take upon the full wrath of God, the man that died on the cross suffered tremendously. The least we can do is put love in our hearts, and treat others with respect. Life’s ups and down aren’t easy for anyone. We are all in this together, and if we look out for one another, we would all be a little happier.