Tag: Finding hope

Isolated, But Not Alone

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Isolated, But Not Alone

Friends get scattered by the wind.

Loyalty means little to most. 

Truth is relative.

Morality is antiquated. 

So much change out there with how we view others. So much change with how we view even some of the simplest of beliefs and ideologies. We lose our way so easily. Moses was not gone long before the people forgot how God delivered them, yet found comfort in a golden café. How quickly do we move on from the good things we’ve had? How quickly the grass fades and the other side looks nice and lush. How quickly our spouse becomes old and no longer exciting so we seek the next best love of our lives. How fast do we get the newest gadget that the next is released and ours seems antiquated. And friends, how quickly do they disappear when you no longer have anything to offer. 

It’s easy to run towards to great sales in this life, but as scripture says, Matthew 6:19 “19 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal;” 

I have been in quarantine now for a little while. I have enjoyed some nice messages, some thoughtful food drop off’s, and some calls. It’s made me consider, while I have received these things, there are a great many who after nearly two weeks have not returned my message. Those who say they’ll there, but never are. Those who claim to be there when it’s needed. And while I’m not complaining for the Lord has provided, it does force me to ask, if there were a time needed, isolation would probably be a good time to be available. Again, I’m not complaining, but if this is happening to me, I wonder how many people out there have less than I do. How many people go on suffering alone, wishing those would reach out, but never do. Indeed, it has become a time where we are the most accessible, but the least reachable. A time when a phone call is no longer the norm, but instead, hidden under the pillow. A time when messages can be seen day or night, but set to ignore. Indeed, a society so busy, our priorities are no longer each other, but something else entirely. 

There is a reason isolation is considered to be a psychological torture. We are not meant to be alone for long periods of time. The truth is, that time is different for everyone. Everyone has a threshold and sadly, in these dark times, the mental health crisis is worse than it has been in a long time. My own experience has not been as bad as it could have been, but while there were a few that I expected to be around, that weren’t, I know that others out there have a far different experience. Are we truly doing our best to bare one another’s burdens when needed? Are we letting down those friends when we say “lean on me.”? I am sure I’ve not been there as I should have, and while I cannot think of any times right off the top of my head, I would gladly own up to it, and attempt to make it right. 

If this experience has taught me anything, it’s some people, even those you would never expect, will not always be there for you when you need them to be. Certainly, as difficult as it may be to stomach, there is but one we can count on, rely on, in our time of need and crisis, and that’s Jesus Christ. I cannot imagine what life for Paul would have been like, going to prison after prison, beating after beating, stoning after stoning, all in the name of Christ. I cannot imagine how difficult those times would have been, but through it all, Paul says the Lord’s grace is sufficient. The Lord gives us everything we need to get through every situation. The great provider. He may not give us what we expect, or even in the manner in which we expect it, but we have everything we need. To those out there alone, I say this, keep reaching out. The Lord will provide to you someone who is willing to listen, able to help you bare that cross. Don’t lose hope. Friends, if you think you have let someone down, reach out to them. It’s never too late to remind someone you care. Keep pushing on in this tumultuous time. The Lord will see you though. 

Grief

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Grief

There has been times I’ve dealt with grief well, and then times I haven’t. Every situation I’ve been in where death was present was a new experience every time. When my grandpa passed away in 2010 I was at peace with it. Knowing he has passed peacefully, and where he was going gave me great joy. The dream I had just before his last moments of me being by his bedside and him squeezing my hand before he passed, being awoken by the phone I knew he was gone.

Loosing a loved one to an affair and watching a marriage end is also something in which we grieve. Sadly as I have gone through this twice in my life, I can say the second time didn’t go so well. I tried very hard to keep my witness. I tried to remain calm and not yell, and focused on repairing the damage that was done. As I watched as my efforts failed I couldn’t help but see that moment as a reflection of every failure, every hardship, every heartbreak I had ever faced. Left with a tsunami of emotions and unable to see myself out of the crisis I was in, I took drastic steps to stop what seemed to be the end of the line. I was a train headed for a brick wall and I needed to stop before I crashed. Instead of slowing the train my actions derailed it. I was so Ill prepared for the trial I faced and I was left with shame, regret, sadness, fear, hopelessness, and several other emotions to include a complete failure of self-esteem.

In the years that have followed I have grown and found direction and purpose. It hasn’t been without it’s ups and downs but I have found ways to manage the feelings I have. I have been thinking back this month specifically of all the grief I’ve had just in the month of September alone. I have faced death, divorce, near death personally and so much more. September every year brings up a mixed bag of emotions and can sometimes fill my cup with more then I can take. I think about those in scripture that have had to manage grief, and one place comes to mind. 2 Samuel 19:1-4“And Joab was told, “Behold, the king is weeping and mourning for Absalom.” 2 So the victory that day was turned into mourning for all the people. For the people heard it said that day, “The king is grieved for his son.” 3 And the people [a]stole back into the city that day, as people who are ashamed steal away when they flee in battle. 4 But the king covered his face, and the king cried out with a loud voice, “O my son Absalom! O Absalom, my son, my son!”

It’s been at least a day since David learned of his sons death in battle. Absalom overthrew his father in a well-planned coup. David fled to avoid bloodshed.  Absalom had every plan to kill his father and would have if he’d gotten the chance. David however wanted to capture Absalom but that’s not what happened. Due to Absalom being a politician and not a warrior the battle goes badly, and after Absalom gets stuck in a tree by his hair, he is executed by the order of Joab, David’s number 1 general. David’s actions as King demoralize his loyal soldiers returning home after at least a year on the run, and watching their King making a scene for all the city to see.

How do we act when we grieve? Do we act as if there is no hope in the world? 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 “But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen [a]asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. 14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who [b]sleep in Jesus.” Paul is telling us we should not face death with such a grievance attitude, instead celebrate the life lived because if we believe in Christ and all that He did for us, we know that for believers we will enter into the gates of heaven and feel no more pain or suffering. There’s a line at the end of Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Part 2. Dumbledore says to Harry, “Do not pity the dead harry, pity the living.”How often I have seen people who’ve lost someone they were close to, and it’s destroyed their entire life. I knew a lady, mid 40’s, she lost her own mother to cancer. In the weeks and months that followed she turned to alcohol to manager her grief. Eventually it caused a divide in her own marriage and she was left alone. After two DUI’s the hope was she would seek help dealing with her drinking, and also her grief. Sadly before that happened she was drunk one night, fell and hit her head. She bled out and died alone. This story is completely true, but also a stern reminder how important it is for us as Christians to manage our own grief in a healthy way. There is no set way in scripture to manage grief, but if we are to walk with Jesus we know that we are to be different then the world. We of all people have hope in the risen Christ, and we need to be that reminder in our own communities as they deal with grief and loss.

In the wake of hurricane Florence we see families dealing with grief and loss on major scales. As homes have been completely lost, and families deal with the loss of loved ones, we as Christians need to go forth and show love to all those who around us. Christians need to be the guiding light of Christ as we show the world who Christ was. We cannot be a bright light if we fall to ruin any time something bad happens. There will be a time to grieve, but we must always remember the hope we have in Christ. Do not allow grief to steel your joy. Be grateful in the future and know that one day we will be in Heaven where there are no more tears, no more sorrow. We will all endure hardships in this life, loss of all kinds, from houses, to jobs, to loved ones, even our own health, but this life is only a temporary shell, our true life still awaits. The best is yet to come, and we need to remember that the next time tragedy strikes. Be a difference in this world, grieve when you must, and know that our emotions are given to us for a reason. It’s always important to make sure our emotions fit the facts of the situation. Make sure your emotions don’t control you. If you can manage that, and trust, have faith in Jesus Christ, you can be a big difference for those around you.

Satan’s Great Lie

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Satan’s Great Lie

The grass ain’t greener on the other side. Every time we sacrifice what we have for the lie Satan tells us we are bound to watch life fall to ruin. When Eve took the fruit it was “thinking” God was keeping blessings from her. When we watch marriages fall to affairs it’s usually thinking the grass is greener. This isn’t true for all affairs obviously, but I’d say for most it’s probably a bulls eye statement. A while back I wrote a blog post entitled the Grass Ain’t Greener https://thearrowpreacher.wordpress.com/2017/06/20/the-grass-aint-greener/In this post I talked about how we look for happiness in the wrong places. Instead of trying to fix what’s right in front of us the easier path is to cross that line and watch as lives are destroyed. (Not all marriages are healthy and sometimes the safest way to turn is to leave. This is because you can’t change the other person and sometimes you have to leave for your own well being. This not should be taken lightly however and should always be the absolute last resort. Counseling, should always be on the table before divorce.)  Satan wants us to fall victim to the pain and wants us to turn our backs on Christ. The thing about Satan is he doesn’t fabricate untruths, he twists the truth to fit a certain point of view. I’ll show you some examples. Genesis 3:1-5 3“Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?” 2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; 3 but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’ ” 4 Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” Satan knew that death wouldn’t be instant, but slowly, as time would age their bodies. Satan also knew that the tree would cause sin to enter into the world creating the divide between perfection and the earth. Satan lied by twisting the truth to fit a point of view. Not much different from what we see in Star Wars in Episode 3. When Anakin Skywalker falls to the Emperor by twisting the truth and making it seem the Jedi are the villains of the universe.

Satan later came to tempt Christ. In Matthew 4:1-11 Satan comes to Jesus and tries to get Jesus to use his Divine powers for personal gain. The temptation was for vanity, and if Christ would be willing to fall to the temptation, He could be persuaded not to go through with the persecution to instead rule over the earth, once again separating God from His children. Jesus however would not fall to this twist of truth. The lie is in the cost, not the act. Yes, Jesus was hungry and the bread would have stifled his hunger. The second temptation is Jesus on the pinnacle of the temple. Satan tells Jesus, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down.” He is tempting Jesus’s pride, and faith. Jesus knows the Angels would catch him, but Jesus replies, “You shall not tempt the Lord.” In essence Satan is calling Jesus chicken. If you’re really the Son of the Father you need to prove it. Jesus doesn’t fall for this temptation, and Satan moves on to the third and final temptation. Satan tried to appeal to the sin of power. Satan offered dominion over the earth’s kingdoms right then, without having to suffer for it. Jesus replied that we are to worship “the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.” Jesus could have taken the kingdoms of the earth and ruled over them, but this would not have been the will of the Father.

Every temptation was based in truth. Every lie is a twist of facts just rebranded to look a little different. When we look at the lies Satan tells us every day, that you are a sinner, that you’re not worthy, that you’re a failure, that you’re weak, those things aren’t lies. It’s not that they aren’t true, the lie is where we forget about God’s promise, God’s love, grace. God’s grace and love and choice to save us is what overcomes the truth. We can never do enough, or be worthy enough to earn God’s graces, but that doesn’t take away from the truth that we are saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. Just as Satan could not tempt Jesus, we too must remember that Satan will lie to us and try to draw our attention away from Christ, but he will do so by twisting the law, twisting the truth, and trying to make you feel badly about yourself.

In Romans 14 Paul talks about how the simplest of things could be true based on the feelings around the temptations. For some person bowling could be a sin if that’s where their focus always is. Paul’s saying in the letter, do not pass judgment on the way someone eats, because they may be right with God and we shouldn’t judge another. In many of Paul’s letters especially Galatians Paul mentions circumcision that the church in Galatia was making men turned Christian get circumcised as if it were mandatory. Paul puts them in their place rebuking them for the only thing necessary for salvation is the love of Christ. Now, Satan will use all manner of things such as certain foods, or customs, or books we read such as “Harry Potter”,while it is not a sin for some, but others it may conflict with their personal beliefs. Satan will use this type of dissention to create a wedge between God’s people. While it may be true for one person and their relationship with God, it’s not going to be true for another. We must be careful with what we say is a Sin, and what we pass along in judgment to others. Having an affair may bring someone happiness temporarily, eventually that will wear off, just like buying a new car when you can’t afford it. Sure that new car will drive great, and you’ll have fun, and be proud of it, but when the car payments start to overwhelm you, you find that it’s not so much fun anymore. When we look at the lies from Satan they are always going to be based in truth but twisted to take your focus off of God. We must be careful with what we preach and how we preach it. I can stand here and say that alcohol is a Sin, but that’s not accurate. To much alcohol or a dependency on it however, is a sin. While there are millions of people who can use it responsibly, for some it would become a sin simply by the person they become, or the fact it in itself becomes an idol for them. Don’t be so quick to listen to someone quote scripture as a place of sin. Do your own research because I have seen church’s say you cannot be a Deacon if you have been divorced, no matter the reason. I have seen churches where the women in the church can’t have their hair cut short, or the men must wear a collard shirt, or the women cannot wear pants of any kind. Be careful what you label as sin because it could be you, who is sinning by passing judgments on others. Satan is not more powerful then God, and the lies whispered to us are only powerful if we allow them to have such power. Harden your mind against the attacks of the Devil, and protect your heart from barrage of aggressive talk from others. Take scripture and learn it, read it, study it, and you will find truth in a world full of lies.

 What Gets You Excited?

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 What Gets You Excited?

Do you have anything that attacks your senses and just gets you 8 years old excited? For me there’s few things in life that get me excited. I am not usually excited by much as I’ve gotten older. As more tragedies have occurred in my life more and more joys have been snuffed out. I no longer look forward to holidays as I used to, and slowly even television shows I once loved would soon just be watched out of habit, not out of excitement. I still get excited when I hear the new theme from the 2009 Star Trek. I find that excitement in my stomach happens at the theme, and it reminds me of a time period in my life when it provided comfort, and hope. In your life, what gives you comfort and hope? What about the hope that Jesus Christ offers you? Does the blood that gives us everlasting life comfort you?

How do we know what true hope is? Do we find our hope in people? Do we place our happiness and sense of belonging or self worth in the hands of sinful people? Human Beings are all sinful no matter how upright, or righteous anyone is. While years may pass before anything happens, so one can go their entire life without making a mistake. Sinful behavior happens within all of us, and thus at some point we will undoubtedly hurt those around us. In my own life I have often placed my self worth in what others thought of me. In the last few weeks I’ve had several big upsets in my social (if you can call what I have social) circle. Most of my relationships are digital ones and sadly most digital relationships, or so-called friendships are barely friendships. While this is not a blanket black and white statement I do believe it’s generally accurate. I believe most people aren’t looking for anything real, that they just want filler in their lives. I believe most people only want positive and uplifting conversation. At the first sign of any conflict people will leave without a word. At the first disagreement over anything they leave. I’ve been ghosted or abandoned enough times that in my life I can honestly say I have seen this first hand. As I have struggled with keeping friends in my life, I have often asked myself why people don’t like me, or don’t want me around. I have watched this in my life over and over and as I’ve struggled to change the outcomes but in each situation I’ve failed to change the end result. The impact on my self-esteem has been drastic. The change in my mood has been so drastic in the last few weeks it’s caused a mild depression to set in. The fact that I have allowed my feelings to be impacted so heavily by people I’ve never met is foolish at best. The desire to make friends has led me to different phone apps, different websites, different Facebook pages, and I have yet to have many positive experiences in the last two years. I’m not saying depression can always be avoided, but for me, if I were to stop placing my value in the hands of others, I would probably be much happier. What does scripture say about having hope?

Romans 15:13“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” During the old testament scripture is filled with God’s disappointment with the way in which Israel conducted itself. Within the messianic prophesies the Jewish people were looking forward to the savior that would come and save them from the hands of their enemies. What they would fail to realize was the hope they would have would not be to save them from their enemies, the Romans, or any other aggressor, it would be to save them from eternal death. In our time we look back to the Cross for our hope, and we know and understand that it was the blood shed on the cross that gave us hope. What’s hard for us in this life is dealing with the hurt, the pain, the suffering brought on by a sinful, fallen world. Heaven is more then our minds can comprehend and we see life as fair or unfair based on our particular point of view. Growing up I often felt that life was unfair. I watched others with more money wear nicer clothes, had bigger Christmas’s, and were more involved in school. I watched as popular kids had parties, and had plenty of friends. I suffered from a semi rare birth defect that left me self conscious and different. I struggled as over the years I would be forced to take time off from school to undergo a surgery. Having to explain my absence to other students became difficult at best. Not having a standard childhood I struggled with simple concepts of emotions. I spent time in church and during that time as scattered as my teaching was, I held hope that God had a plan for me. As more and more trauma’s and struggles happened to me I felt I had done something wrong and I was being punished by God as Israel had once been.

Growing up I sometimes had the gift to see events before they happened. I would see things in dreams, or sometimes just strong feelings before an event. When I was in Iraq I knew there was an IED near an area. I sensed it, and even though my feelings were dismissed I would find out not 15 minutes later I was right. In that attack four soldiers; four friends lost their lives. That was the last time I ever had a premonition of the future. I thought for the longest time I was doomed to suffer this whole life. I struggled for years thinking God was angry with me, and I would eventually give up on feeling better. It would be years before I felt God had finally given me a gift. I cherished the love he had given me, and I made my way back to church and back into God’s word. I learned in time that it isn’t God that brings us pain, it’s people, it’s sin, it’s personal choice, but in all things God gives us hope. Romans 12:12“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” We are along on this ride, this roller coaster and we never know what surprises we might find. We cannot see the future and we must just accept that in this life it’s a blessing to wake up every day. It’s only by grace that we have life, and we must above all else be thankful that while we are ambassadors of this life that means this isn’t home. We have a brighter tomorrow once this life has ended. Isaiah 40:31“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” It’s not easy, but we must find our joy within Christ. We must find our peace within the knowledge that this life isn’t everything. While it may be difficult at times, we must allow ourselves to keep pushing forward. Do not fear tomorrow, do not dread it, for we have a promise from God. Deuteronomy 31:6“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

While I cannot say I have mastered the art of not worrying about tomorrow, I can say the hope and love of Christ is what keeps me waking up in the morning. I can say that even on my darkest of days when I feel like everyone has forsaken me, I know that I still have Jesus Christ. While I do hurt from a lack of companionship, I know that the future can hold anything. God’s blessings are endless and I cannot loose sight of that hope. If we could understand and comprehend God, the entity we know as God wouldn’t truly be God. We cannot comprehend the perfection of Heaven. We cannot understand the complete nature of grace, and we can never understand the true level of Love shared by God. That being said, it’s in that love we must find excitement, find joy, and find the strength to carry on no matter how dark the path may seem.

 

 

Introspective

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Introspective:

Some people say the eyes are the mirrors to the soul. Regardless if this is true or not, we need to sometimes be willing to take a long, deep hard look into ourselves. Introspection:“the examination or observation of one’s own mental and emotional processes.”Look within, and ask who are you? Is God in your heart? Are we a hero out in the world making a difference? One of my heroes Green Arrow, had a conversation with a new hero the flash. “You can inspire like I never could.” What does it take to be a hero? We have high expectations in our country to fit the term hero, but really, a hero is anyone willing to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. Sacrifice for others, and to serve. Jesus Christ is the world’s greatest superhero. Jesus Christ showed us what it means to be a true hero. He showed us what it was to truly love, to truly give, to truly sacrifice. We must be better then we are, we must stand apart from the world by living differently. We must live our life as a hero so we inspire at least someone to live their life differently. Proverbs 24:10-12“10 If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small. 11 Rescue those who are being taken away to death; hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter. 12 If you say, “Behold, we did not know this,” does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who keeps watch over your soul know it, and will he not repay man according to his work?” There is no greater calling then to be a fisher of men. There is no greater gift then the gift of showing someone salvation of their eternal soul. We who live with Christ in our hearts must stand tall, stand firm, and walk through the storms tall and strong. We must walk in our witness every day. We can be the difference in someone’s life if we are allowing the Holy Spirit to work in us. We must be able to look inside ourselves however and evaluate if we are truly doing God’s work or our own. We must do this regularly, not just once a year at a special church service.

You don’t have to do big grandiose things to be famous in your father’s eyes. We shall not underestimate ourselves when God is concerned.Judges 6:12-15“12 When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.” 13 “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our ancestors told us about when they said, ‘Did not the Lord bring us up out of Egypt?’ But now the Lord has abandoned us and given us into the hand of Midian.” 14 The Lord turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?” 15 “Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.” A mighty warrior Gideon was called. A hero before God. God doesn’t need to explain Himself why he chooses someone over another. David a small squire chosen to be King and led to slay a giant with nothing but a stone. He became a hero for Israel, and would be for generations to come.

In this fallen world there are so many who are dying spiritually. When we look inside, we must ask ourselves if we are saving in faith? Are we making a difference in those around us? Are we rising up to be soldiers for the Lord in this war? We cannot stand by and do nothing as we watch hatred, and sin destroy lives. Jude 23“23 save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment[a] stained by the flesh.” We don’t have to be the wisest, the strongest, or the biggest to make a change in someone’s life. We only need to look in the mirror and see that we have the power of God with us always, and when we become servants of God we can see the old self left behind, and it will be good. We may be small, but we may have a big impact on this world. We don’t need to run into burning buildings, or be a doctor, or fight crime to be a hero. Proverbs 3:27“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due,[a] when it is in your power to do it.” Anyone can lift up and inspire others. Anyone who can make a difference is told to be that difference. We are told to be good for those in need, and as long as the power is within us, we must. The thing is, we always have that power. There is never a time when we can’t make a difference. We are all links in a chain. Even if you just pray and offer words of encouragement, that’s making a difference. There is no reason you can’t make a positive impact in someone’s life.

All we really have to do is be an example of Christ. Be loving, and all that love is. Be kind, and gracious, and meek, and joyful. Be a lighthouse in the middle of the storm. Know scripture and use it everyday in your walk. Lift up others and never tear them down. Push others with a gentle hand, and respect everyone regardless of differences. Always do the right thing even when no one is watching meaning have integrity. God is always watching you. Remember that no one deserves grace, but we all have it, and we should follow in God’s likeness and offer grace to others freely. Being a hero is doing the right thing and never expecting a reward. Being a hero is living with integrity, and honor. There is always hope, and where there is hope there is life. The battle is for souls, and it’s the most important battle we’ll ever fight. We are called to be God’s warriors, but we must first look inside and accept the calling. If you’re not happy in your life maybe it’s time to find out why. Maybe it’s time to take a long hard look inside and figure out why we’re missing something. If were missing something, I’d be willing to bet its Christ in your life. Rise up and live so close to Christ that others will see it in you, and as Gideon before you, be a hero, even if it’s an unsuspecting hero. With God nothing is to big, nothing is to small, and nothing is impossible.

 

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Divorce

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Divorce:

Divorce is something that’s found pretty often in our society now. Divorce affects more then 50% of all marriages, and that is either a lot of happy people celebrating the breaking of those bonds, or the flip side, the broken hearted who are trying to pick up the pieces of what’s left behind. When you put everything you have into fixing the hole in the ship, and no matter what you’ve tried to do, you realize it’s going to sink no matter what, the despair that fills your heart is sometimes more then you feel you can take. I spent the better part of the last two years trying to keep from facing the day I’d stand in front of a judge and hear those four words, ‘Judgment of Divorce Granted” No amount of time in the world can prepare you for the sinking feeling that takes over deep down in your stomach. I have tried to detach myself from any feeling, but I’m just not built that way. I have always given people second, third, and more chances after they’ve screwed up. I have always been the type of person to let people take advantage to a point because I felt I might eventually get through. All that time I’ve spent trying to fix my marriage, and to watch it still end this way, it’s hard not to feel the whispers of failure creeping in. Matthew 5:32“But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” From this point on, I will be judged by everyone I encounter as a twice-divorced man. I am the survivor of two separate affairs and sadly I will be judged negatively by most as if I were the cause of the affairs.

In the months since my separation I have been blamed by strangers who never knew me nor my situation. It’s not easy having to tell anyone I’ve been married twice, and waiting for their response, which often sounds of surprise, and wondering if they should be talking to me anymore. Some people are polite, and others aren’t. I have walked this path before, but this time has been different. This time it’s been harder, and the recovery hasn’t been as easy. In life though, I would submit, nothing worthwhile is easy. It may take time, even years, but some day, the broken will rise up and sing Hallelujah and be free from the pain that once chained them to sorrow. No matter how long it takes we must never give up hope, and we must never forsake our relationship with God. We must never rise to God in anger at the sinful choices of man or women. We have free will and people fall to sin. It happens even if we wish it didn’t. All we can do is pick ourselves up after a time to grieve and learn to stand all over again.

 

Tell Your Heart to Beat Again: By, Danny Gokey

You’re shattered

Like you’ve never been before

The life you knew

In a thousand pieces on the floor

And words fall short in times like these

When this world drives you to your knees

You think you’re never gonna get back

To the you that used to be

 

Tell your heart to beat again

Close your eyes and breathe it in

Let the shadows fall away

Step into the light of grace

Yesterday’s a closing door

You don’t live there anymore

Say goodbye to where you’ve been

And tell your heart to beat again

 

 

I can’t undersell this song when you find yourself feeling heart broken. This song brings the feeling to life. Everything for your good, is referring to God. In every situation we find ourselves, God is working it out so we will be all right in the end. Proverbs 28:20 “A faithful man will abound with blessings, but whoever hastens to be rich will not go unpunished.”This isn’t just referring to monetary wealth, but riches referring to any objects of our affection. Don’t take shortcuts because we will never truly appreciate what we have if we cheat our way to the top. We must remain strong in the storm. We must stand our ground when the Devil pushes us. We must remain vigilant as the serpent slithers all around us in the shadows. We must remain true to who we are and if we are a follower of Christ, then that truth is the light we stand on. Make sure that whatever you’re going through you try to maintain who you are in Christ.

Lean on your friends and family in your time in need. Take time to digest what’s happened, and prepare yourself for the battles ahead. There will be days that hurt like you wouldn’t believe, and then days you feel on top of the world, free as an eagle. The journey can be turbulent so prepare for it. Find yourself ways to keep occupied. Sitting at home sulking will only delay your healing and it’s not good for you. You may want to take a couple days, and that’s fine, but much more then that, and you will find yourself sinking into depression. Get out, stay active, and talk about it. Don’t be afraid to get out your anger, frustrations, sadness, and hurt. Find friends who will allow you to express yourself, and your feelings, because we have them for a reason. I don’t tell you all this as a cookie cutter self help aid, I say it from experience. I didn’t have the means to go out much after my ex-wife left, and I sat in the house for months alone, sulking in my own sorrow. It stunted my healing process, and the struggle to get better was very real.

Find new hobbies, things you like to do, that make you feel good about yourself. Often when you are the one being divorced it’s hard. You will question yourself and ask what you did wrong, why would they leave you, if you’re a good person, if you’re attractive enough, all kinds of questions and doubts will flood your mind but you have to realize Satan lies, and those feelings are lies. One person’s sinful action does not, and never will determine who you are. You are the child of a King and you are royalty to Heaven. You must find people who will help lift you up, remind you, who you are, and most importantly, you will need to remind yourself who you are. You can overcome those negative feelings slowly at a time, but you cannot do that if you sit around and push everyone away. You need people in your life because it’s in our fellow Christians we will find counsel and comfort in when going through these hard times. Allow others to help you carry your burden, and one day you will pay it forward for someone else.

Don’t give up hope, because even though the journey seems long, and hard, and it will be painful for a large portion of your struggle, the day will come you will realize it doesn’t quite hurt so bad anymore. Keep up moving every day, and let every sunrise be a new day pushing out the path from the day before. We cannot choose how anyone else acts or behaves, but we can choose how we deal with it. We choose what to feed our brains with, and we choose the type of person we want to be. Never give up on yourself because God will never give up on you. Keep pushing forward and always remember God first, everyone else second. Work on your relationship with God. Study scripture in your times of troubles. Look up the story of Job, the story of Jeremiah, and even the early story of David. Each of these individuals had challenges, and struggles, and in their individual ways, they found how to receive the blessings from God. Remaining faithful and trusting in the Lord is the best thing you can do. It won’t be easy, but every day will be the best attempt you can give. Don’t loose sight of the end, and never feel you are a failure. We all fall, but the true measure of a person is how you get back up. Always get back up and keep marching on. Don’t allow your strength to fail, and certainly don’t turn away from God. Know your enemy and it isn’t the Lord. Remember in all times people are sinners and will eventually let you down. Pray for them, and don’t stop loving them. As for me, my ex made some awful hurtful decisions, but I refuse to hold a grudge. Apologies have been said, and olive branches extended. Love concures hate every time. Living in peace and love is a choice. Krystal may no longer be my wife, but never will I give up on someone who made such an impact in my life. Forgiveness isn’t a suggestion, and if we can live in peace, we should. Be big enough to pray for those who hurt you, and help by always being a light in the darkness.

 

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Giving Yourself Away

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Giving Yourself Away

It starts of small, just once, just a little bit, and that’s when it takes hold. We give up one small piece of our principles, and then another, and before long the black and white becomes gray. The fall doesn’t always happen quickly, sometimes it’s a slow moving enemy that creeps along scrapping at your heart a little at a time.

We often stand on our principles determined not to give in to temptations of this fallen world. We see the fall happening all around us. We see public figures from government to Hollywood getting caught with their principles around their ankles. We see politicians accepting bribes, actors turning to drugs and more and more sex candles rock the new like never before. We have watched as our nation endures the slow fade in what is now accepted on this earth and ignoring the once proud biblical principles we once stood strong on.

We face temptations and the first time we tell ourselves ‘It’s okay, just this once.” We have taken the step into the quicksand. Sin can be described many different ways. Sometimes a major event can alter perceptions, but I like to think those circumstances are more rare. I think sin is more like boiling a frog. The water is cool when the frog is dropped in so the frog doesn’t notice anything is wrong. As the water heats (as sing grows and spreads) by the time the frog realizes anything is wrong it’s too late, the damage is done. (We find ourselves buried under the mound of sin.)

So many marriages that end due to affairs you see the near identical timelines. “It started off very innocent and we were just friends.” The slow draw of sinful lust can creep in untamed yet slowly as to not draw attention to the danger ahead. Most affairs could be snuffed out with a single choice to walk away. The little steps that make the right and wrong to an ambivalence for those their actions may affect. The truth is sin attacks at each of our hearts differently. The choices we made “there’s a price to be paid, people never crumble in a day.”(Slow Fade, Third Day)

I’ve lived with a broken heart twice as I’ve seen thoughts betray a promise made but not kept. I’ve watched the life I had crumble away. The heart was betrayed, lied to by desire, fooled by lust, and choices made destroyed so much more then a home. I’ve seen drugs take hold of people’s lives with the lies and promises that the substance make them feel better. But eventually the affects of the drugs wear off and more is needed. Then more, and before you know it you’re chasing one high to the next unable and unwilling to handle life. What seemed benign at first slowly turned to tear down the walls of everything you held most dear.

Do now allow the darkness to grab hold. Don’t allow yourself to fall victim to the thoughts that pull you away from Christ. Once down the dark path though hope is never lost, you don’t want the veiled promises. You can’t trust the lies, the whispers from the Devil. The price paid for the retched path is high. “The bill comes due, always.” (Dr. Strange) We don’t need to face those horrible consequences if we stay on the path laid out by Christ. Turn away form lies, and turn away from adultery. Stay away from hate, and don’t give into the fear. We must learn to praise God in the sun, or the rain. We must pray joy, peace, love, but if there’s a storm we must we must pray that no matter where we find ourselves we do it all for the glory of God.

God shines down from heaven today, and no matter what your situation is on this day, raise your hands to the sky, praise Jesus for the life we have. Find hope that the storm will settle, or the meadow is peaceful. Wherever the road takes you today, trust and praise Jesus. While you draw breath there is always hope. Never give up hope on God for the calm waters might be just around the river bend.

Got a Problem? Bring it to me Sayath the Lord. 2 of 2

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Got a Problem? Bring it to me Sayath the Lord. 2 of 2

1 Peter 5:7 “casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” In all our times, our good moments, and our bad, we must first above all else, turn to the Lord with our praises, and with our worries. I believe this is the first step, but not the last. When we are in need of prayer we are taught to first turn to the Lord, bring our thoughts and our worries to the one who has all the power. However we are also told to share your thoughts and your burdens with others in Christ also. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.” We are not told to hide away our burdens, instead we are told to lay them out, receive the grace upon which we ask for that help. To lift up the struggles in prayer, and expect brothers and sisters to pray along side you. Christianity isn’t about acting everything is just fine, it’s about facing the challenges, the burdens, and facing the reality that is life itself.

We need to turn to the Lord in our times of struggles, but we also need to be helpful for our neighbors when they are the ones in times of need. Matthew 11:28-29 (NIV), “Come to me, all you who are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart.” Bringing your troubles to the Lord first is the absolute best thing you can do. However, if you never put your requests out there your “Refusing to ask for help when you need it is refusing someone the chance to be helpful.” – Ric Ocasek Are we behaving as Christ would? When someone brings their burdens to you, or when someone puts out there the need for help, are we rebuking them? James 1:5 “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” The Lord never turns a back to us in our time of need, so why do we often turn our backs on others in need.

Exodus 18:14-15 When Moses’ father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, he asked, “What are you really accomplishing here? Why are you trying to do all this alone while everyone stands around you from morning till evening?” We don’t walk this world alone, so we should never expect to handle our struggles alone. I heard Dave Ramsey say one time, you would not go to a man who’s been divorced 18 times for advice on marriage. Or, you would not go to a 400 pound man for advice on how to loose weight. You must go to counsel to actually help you on your path. I believe it is folly to think it’s wrong to place your burdens in the same place you give your praise and hope. Your hope and your counsel is best given from a place where struggle and strife is overcome. I am not one to be so prideful that I don’t believe in the power of another’s helping hand. I will put myself out there to show others I need help and prayer. I am not weak because of this, and I do not believe anyone else is either. Psalm 10:4 “In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.” To shy away from your pain and to think that somehow if you show that pain, that struggle then others may not think you’re strong, I say shame on you. When we judge others on their struggles, or the trials they go through instead of being there to help shame on us. I wrote recently about placing yourself in another’s shoes. We have become so judgmental, and so high and mighty that we think we know what’s best. We tell others how best to live their lives, and we give the almighty opinion, when in fact there’s no scripture to back up that opinion.

When we finally stop spreading our opinion and allow scripture to speak for itself, and sharing the words of the Gospel we might actually be able to help others in need. There’s been some debate recently if I should publicly admit that I sometimes have high anxiety based on a personal negative feeling. The debate was if you post inspirational posts, and talking about anxiety in the same place, you are hurting your witness. I disagree and this is why. In my life I have had many hits and many struggles. I don’t hide this from the world, and I believe in some manor of decorum in the way I express my struggles makes a difference. The key however, is I am not allowing the struggles I face to keep me down. In those struggles I am using scripture, Christian music, and other means to work through them. Allowing others to see that I struggle and still maintain hope, and an uplifting attitude for the Lord, shows commonality. I believe to allow others to see me struggle not only builds a connection to others who struggle through that commonality, but also that there is always hope. Allowing others to know I struggle, to open the floor for prayer, and guidance, and Godly counsel is exactly what we are supposed to do. Don’t sit back and allow the weight of your struggles to bury you, instead learn to rise above and although the world is heavy at times, as was Jesus’s cross, we will always have help to lift it, when we ask for Godly help.

Got a problem 1

Bring all your troubles to the Lord, but also seek help from your brothers and sisters. Galatians 6:2 “2 Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” Be helpful to those in need of spiritual prayer and guidance. Lift up one another and trust that the Lord hears all prayers. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” We are told to help lift up our brothers and sisters in times of need. When we approach someone going through trials, are we careful with our words? Are we being uplifting in our approach, or are we doing more harm? We must learn to follow James 1:19 “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;” When someone’s trying to help we must be able to see the meaning in their heart. We must figure out if what they are saying is out of spite or love. Don’t be so quick on the draw into judgment. Remember the tongue is a powerful tool, it can lift up or tear down. Be cautious how you use it. Remember what we say may have the best of intentions, but if our delivery is wrong, it can have lasting effects. Above all, don’t forget to take your sorrows, your pain, and your worries to the one with the real power, Jesus Christ. While it’s good to lean on your neighbors for help, people are people, and they will let you down. Don’t be too hard on them when they do. Remember to love and forgive, and don’t dwell on the past. Move forward with love and grace in your heart.

 

 

 

Find your Place

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Find your Place

I’ve had a lot of people tell me lately how lost they are. It’s not easy when you feel like you’re floundering around in the open sea. The feeling of being in the ocean alone, in the darkness of the night, bouncing around, not sure what’s going to happen to you, if you’ll be alright, or how you’re ever going to make it. Sometimes the truth doesn’t make it any easier. “Neo, sooner or later you’re going to realize just as I did that there’s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.” (Morpheous) When we are in a place of pain, it can be hard to think straight. When we are lost in the woods it’s hard to tell that the path is just next to us. When we are walking aimlessly and lost sometimes it takes a new perspective. From a birds eye view you can easily see the path of the maze, but when you’re walking inside of it, it can be scary, and unforgiving. The lost can be scared, and when we don’t know where to go, fear can be overwhelming. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Hope springs eternal, and sometimes what we need is right in front of us all along.

Go The Distance, By: Micheal Bolton
I have often dreamed of a far off place
Where a hero’s welcome would be waiting for me
Where the crowds would cheer, when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying this is where I’m meant to be
I’ll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way if I can be strong
I know every mile would be worth my while
When I go the distance, I’ll be right where I belong

When we’re lost and we are in seek of something, or someone there’s something we have to remember. 1 Peter 5:7 “casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” We spend so much time allowing our anxieties to rule our lives, but what if we spend even a fraction of that time worrying about our path with God? We know that scripture tells us that we shouldn’t worry because God’s grace and control is over everything. We must learn to have trust and faith, and let go of our worries. Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” The Lord will strengthen us when we are weary from our journey. When we thirst we need only to go to the living water of life.

I have found that goals are important in our walk. When I am lost I first turn to God and pray for guidance. Then I sit down and I pen out my goals, my wants, my passions, and after I write down how to get there. Where do I start, and what path do I take? While I realize penning out your life doesn’t exactly seem practical it forces you to think and realize what’s possible and what’s not. Brainstorming is an important aspect of life, and when we take the time to put it out there, we may very well stumble onto what we were looking for all along. 1 Corinthians 10:31 “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” If we are following God in our heart then the world will be a better place. If you put a little love in your heart, and you follow that love, follow the love of what God has planned for you to good work, and you’ll find your path. I know a guy who can sculpt wood so well it’s unbelievable, and he does it to help the healing process for veterans who’ve passed on. I know people who can sing, and dance, and draw, and when we focus on our gifts, our talents, and use them to glorify God the rest will come. While I’ve yet to find my place in this world, I’m starting to get the bigger picture. I know it’s not easy to change jobs, or to leave something you’ve done for so long, but I know that although change is hard, sometimes it’s needed. Change can be scary, and just like the maze you never know what’s lurking in the dark, but prepare mind, body, and soul, and you can face off against any monster or demons that may be lurking around the corner. With God on your side you cannot be stopped from the inevitable outcome. We learn from failure, and that’s when we grow the most. Don’t be afraid to take a chance just because you may fail. We need to fail in order to learn life’s greatest lessons. Failure is okay as long as you don’t stay down when you get punched. Learn to take life by the horns and fight back. This is the only life you get, so go out there and make the best of it.

Lord, I feel the storm raging inside and I don’t know where to go. Lord I feel the darkness and it scares me. The journey seems folly and I can’t find my way. Lord save me from my sorrow, save me from my pain, save me from my loneliness that plagues me. Lord my Lord, the world has hurt me, and I don’t know what else to do. The storms so loud in my head I can’t hear you, but I know you can hear me. Lord my Lord, guide me and protect me. Please my God end this storm and show me the sun again. The pain inside is deep and I can’t feel the pain anymore, I just feel numb. I cry and I cry, and I know you hear me in this storm. My God my God please hear me now, please watch over me and guide me to where I’m meant to be. You made me and I know you have a purpose and although I can’t see it, please release me from this pain. If this is punishment please forgive me. If this is a test, please show leniency. Please my God show me the way through this storm that I’ve been in so long now. My God you are wonderful, and giving, kind, and true, I trust My Lord, I trust in you. Amen

 

 

 

 

 

The Woodshed

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The Woodshed

Have you ever felt the world just took you behind the woodshed for the worst beating of your life? Have you felt like you’ve been the farthest down you could be and everywhere you looked was destruction and chaos? Let me tell you there’s hope.

I’m no stranger to the prison of my own despair. I’ve been bonded to heartbreak and I never felt like I would be whole again. If you really want to be free of the pain of old, the cracks in your armor that let the feelings of negativity, doubt, and helplessness seep through. I’ve felt broken down and beaten, and I have been broken more then a time or two. Jesus Christ is the one who can make all broken things new. Jesus Christ can rebuild you and use your pain for the purposes of good and grace. If you fall to your knees and let go of yourself, let yourself submit to the Lord, you will know all your sins are forgiven, and you will be reborn. You may have questions, and fear, but in the waters that come from Jesus Christ you will be washed clean of your past, and you will become a soldier for the Lord. Your pain will be your weapon for God. Your scars will be your testimony and you will be able to help save souls. Once you submit to the Lord you will never be the same. When you place all your hope in Christ, you will know and understand there’s a better way.

All My Hope, By: Crowder

 I’m no stranger to the prison

I’ve worn shackles and chains

But I’ve been freed and forgiven

And I’m not going back, I’ll never be the same

That’s why I sing

 All my hope is in Jesus

Thank God my yesterday’s gone

All my sins are forgiven

I’ve been washed by the blood

 There’s a kind of thing that just breaks a man

Break him down to his knees

God, I’ve been broken more than a time or two

Yes, Lord then He picked me up and showed me

What it means to be a man

 Colossians 3:8-10 “But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. 9 Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self[d] with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.”

Colossians 3:12-17 “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” We must learn to do these things regardless of the pain we hold. When we hold onto that pain it’s like a cancer for our souls. We must learn to learn from our pain, and let it go. Let it past as dust in the wind and focus on how we can use that for the betterment of our lives.

God will use the broken things in your life and for the Glory you will follow because you are asked to. Jesus so loved those who were broken, and he would use them to spread the gospel. You only need to submit to the Lord and you will be made new. You want hope look to those that God used in the Bible. Look at all those who were broken, and hurting, and suffering, and in all things, God was able to use them because of that pain to reach others. I myself am a broken man. I’ve been targeted time and time again, yet here I stand, speaking for, and preaching for God. This life is but a speck of dust in the greatness of time. But in that speck of time you are so loved by God that when the dust blows, you will have the chance to be remade new in forever.

If you’re lost and you are weary from the beatings of life, have hope and faith that it was not all for nothing.

Lift your head weary sinner, By: crowder

 Lift your head weary sinner, the river’s just ahead
Down the path of forgiveness, salvation’s waiting there
You built a mighty fortress 10, 000 burdens high
Love is here to lift you up, here to lift you high

If you’re lost and wandering
Come stumbling in like a prodigal child
See the walls start crumbling
Let the gates of glory open wide

All who’ve strayed and walked away, unspeakable things you’ve done
Fix your eyes on the mountain, let the past be dead and gone
Come all saints and sinners, you can’t outrun God
Whatever you’ve done can’t overcome the power of the blood

 When we mess up we expect the punishment to be equal to the mistake. We are sinners and when we sin we expect a measure of blowback. When we walk this life be sure to own up to your mistakes. I have often taken the blame for things I didn’t do. I have placed blame upon myself when things go wrong even if I didn’t do anything to cause it. For me it was easier to explain why something happened if I just placed myself on the chopping block. This isn’t healthy or needed. Let God be the one to judge. You may want to find answers and sometimes they may never come. If you’re going down to the woodshed be sure you deserve it.

God’s love for us is the only thing that truly matters. Whatever we do should be to glorify our Abba. Take your beatings and own up to your culpability, but don’t take on more then you should. The weight of the world isn’t for you to hold. Be kind to one another. Love one another and forgive one another. Bare one another’s burdens and trust in the Lord. In every situation God is working and we must learn to pray and have faith in not just the big things, but the small as well. The Devil will test you, the Devil will try to draw you away from Christ and steal your salvation by making you question it. The Devil wants you to fail, and sometimes the Devil will destroy everything you have to make you fall from the grace that’s been bestowed onto you. The grace from Jesus Christ was a gift for humanity and no one can take it from you, unless you give it to them. The Devil may take your worldly possessions from you, your career, your family, your friends, your home, but no matter what the Devil cannot take your salvation. How much of a beating can you take? The Devil will try every means of torture to break you. If you believe that Jesus is always with you, then you can withstand the torture from the Devil and never give in. When the beatings are over you will have your scars to prove it, but you are still wanted by our one and only heavenly father. Jesus healed the blind man, rose Lazarus from the dead, helped the lame walk, and overcame death Himself. So by the power of his Blood don’t loose hope, don’t loose sight, and don’t let the woodshed be where you loose your faith. Because our God Lives and is in everything, we will one day rise to paradise.