Tag: fear

Don’t Go To Sleep

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Don’t Go To Sleep

God comes to you in mysterious ways. We never know when the Holy Spirit will fall on you, and we certainly don’t know when the Lord will use you. I find myself perplexed as I have recently received validation that I am ‘wise’ and filled with the Holy Spirit. I never considered myself to be able to speak with authority on scripture, but twice in twenty four hours I have received such validation, and now the question has changed. I find it odd that God would use a man like me to do these works for Him. I wonder my strength to follow the will of God. I question my worth and value in this decision of God’s. I guess the closest person from scripture is Gideon. I know it’s not me that offers the change found, or the advice that comes from my mouth, I know it’s not me. I struggle taking any credit for helping, but at the same time, God gave me free will, and I could have very easily gone to bed. How often do we ignore the calling of the Holy Spirit and do what we want?

 

Judges 6:1515 “He said to Him, “O Lord, how shall I deliver Israel? Behold, my family is the least in Manasseh, and I am the youngest in my father’s house.”

 

Gideon tells the Lord ‘wait I think you have the wrong guy! I’m not strong, I come from the poorest tribe!’ The Hebrew translation for youngest is tsa`iyr or insignificant, and he means what he says. God however addresses Gideon as a mighty man of valor. What an honor for God to see such a wonderful quality in the youngest, and weakest of his brothers. God see’s the capability of a person, the truest potential that may not have been realized yet. God doesn’t make mistakes, and it’s in those times we are to humble ourselves before the Lord and trust and not question. When the Holy Spirit comes upon you, don’t ignore it.

 

We cannot fathom the impact we may have on a life if we just listen to that voice telling us the path to take. It would have been so easy for me to go to sleep, put off a conversation that it seems had major impact. The Holy Spirit guides and all we have to do is stop fighting for the steering wheel. What if Paul had decided he’d had enough after his first missionary journey? What if he decided he didn’t want to be beaten, or stoned anymore so he stayed home? What if he had decided he was going to allow fear to win over the instruction of God? Stand tall, and be full of valor of the Holy Spirit in your life. Don’t go back to bed when you are called to God’s work. Don’t allow laziness, or fear keep you from getting out of your comfort zone and going into the world we are called to be in to make real possible everlasting change.

 

The Boss is Bigger

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The Boss is Bigger

What problems do you have? Do you have money issues, bills pile up, drowning in debt? Are you in an abusive relationship, mental or physical, or worse both? Are you being sexually assaulted on a regular basis or even just once? Have you lost your job or are unable to work? Are you ill and you just can’t get well? Do friends turn on you, treat you badly or just don’t care about you? No matter what your problems, or how bad it seems, God our boss is bigger then any problem we might have.

Psalm 145:3 (NKJV)“Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; And His greatness is unsearchable.”

The word unsearchable is to examine, to seek out, and if we are to consider God is so big the mystery will never be found. God can handle any situation, Romans 11:33 (NKJV) 33“Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out!”

We want to put God in a box thinking our problems are too big for Him to take. We want to think we can handle any of our own problems without God. If we think we can handle life without God we will often find ourselves seeking something missing in our lives. On the flip side I have often blamed God for my sorrows. I have fought with God looking for answers to my suffering, and wondered why I had been made to suffer in this life. I have often found myself going from one crisis to the next. A line from Deadpool seems to sum up my life pretty well, “Life is an endless series of train wrecks with only brief commercial-like breaks of happiness.” The thing is though, it’s not God who brings the rain, it’s God that sees us through.

How do you measure your days? How do you measure your pain? How do you measure your joy? There’s always the next storm brewing on the horizon, but in the sunshine do you give thanks for the moments of peace you have? Are you praising the God over all, the God of all creation, and the King of the universe? We must remember that this life is a gift from up above, and we must measure life in love. There’s so much love in this world, and even though the darkness is widespread, and seems like it’s everywhere, you cannot truly snuff out the light. All it takes is a tiny spark to give birth to a wildfire. We must keep the spark of God alive in our hearts, and trust that if we tend to the joy God has given to us, we can burn away everything we aren’t, and what’s left is a beautiful creation reborn in the light of the Lord.

As the song Hard Love by Needtobreathe says “it takes time to make your courage strong.”  We must be patient but we need to remember that God is with us, and we cannot expect something without us working. We have to hold on tight, and fight for the change we want. Change doesn’t come without sacrifice and we must move with purpose for the Lord. Let that fire burn inside you, and let it become a raging forest fire in your soul. This life will test you, it will try to break you, but if you allow God to forge you, you will become something so strong nothing can break you. Be the Kings sword forged in the pits of hell on earth, and able to go to battle every day. This life is hard, but stand tall, stand firm, and scream from the mountaintops that you ain’t done.

No matter what struggles you have, God is bigger. God can get us through anything, and use everything to teach lessons, to make change, and in all things we can find purpose. God wastes nothing. Everything we experience is an opportunity to grow in faith, to show faith, to experience faith. The question is who are you? Who do you want to be? Do you want to be someone that crumbles every time something tough comes along? Do you want to be the one who sinks in the water with little faith? Who are you in Christ’s light? It’s because of who our Savior is that we have hope, that we need to find our joy in this world. Don’t let Satan win the battle. The Lord will always be with you and if you remember that the next battle Satan brings to your door, you will emerge the victor over the prince of darkness. Satan couldn’t bare the love God showed to humans and his jealousy, his anger, his hatred makes his actions, his attacks are those in emotion. Stand back and think, use calm, use joy, use love to withstand the blows of the Devil. Martial Arts can teach us a great deal about fighting back against Satan’s attacks. First, don’t be tempted into a fight. A man can’t fight if it’s just them in the ring. Second, allow your attacker to expel energy as you simply move out of the way. It takes twice as much energy to swing and miss then to swing and connect. Third, use your attackers own weight against them. When the Devil throws all he has at you, respond by taking his attacks and turning it into something good for yourself or others. Lastly, when the time is right strike back. Show Satan you cannot and will not be bullied, or beaten down. Show Satan who you are in the light of Christ. You may not be able to control the battles that come your way, but you can control how you respond to them. With God in your corner you cannot loose.

David brought down a giant and won every battle sometimes with overwhelming odds against. Gideon won along against thousands. God sent Jesus and concurred Sin, and no matter what happens, we are saved. God changes hearts, and saves lives. Don’t underestimate the power of God. No matter what comes, as long as you have breath in your lungs, you aren’t done, and even if the odds seem against you, remember who’s King, and who’s in your corner.

My God, by Go Fish

“My God is so big, and so strong, and so mighty, there’s nothing my God cannot do!”

 

 

Satan’s Great Lie

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Satan’s Great Lie

The grass ain’t greener on the other side. Every time we sacrifice what we have for the lie Satan tells us we are bound to watch life fall to ruin. When Eve took the fruit it was “thinking” God was keeping blessings from her. When we watch marriages fall to affairs it’s usually thinking the grass is greener. This isn’t true for all affairs obviously, but I’d say for most it’s probably a bulls eye statement. A while back I wrote a blog post entitled the Grass Ain’t Greener https://thearrowpreacher.wordpress.com/2017/06/20/the-grass-aint-greener/In this post I talked about how we look for happiness in the wrong places. Instead of trying to fix what’s right in front of us the easier path is to cross that line and watch as lives are destroyed. (Not all marriages are healthy and sometimes the safest way to turn is to leave. This is because you can’t change the other person and sometimes you have to leave for your own well being. This not should be taken lightly however and should always be the absolute last resort. Counseling, should always be on the table before divorce.)  Satan wants us to fall victim to the pain and wants us to turn our backs on Christ. The thing about Satan is he doesn’t fabricate untruths, he twists the truth to fit a certain point of view. I’ll show you some examples. Genesis 3:1-5 3“Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?” 2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; 3 but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’ ” 4 Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” Satan knew that death wouldn’t be instant, but slowly, as time would age their bodies. Satan also knew that the tree would cause sin to enter into the world creating the divide between perfection and the earth. Satan lied by twisting the truth to fit a point of view. Not much different from what we see in Star Wars in Episode 3. When Anakin Skywalker falls to the Emperor by twisting the truth and making it seem the Jedi are the villains of the universe.

Satan later came to tempt Christ. In Matthew 4:1-11 Satan comes to Jesus and tries to get Jesus to use his Divine powers for personal gain. The temptation was for vanity, and if Christ would be willing to fall to the temptation, He could be persuaded not to go through with the persecution to instead rule over the earth, once again separating God from His children. Jesus however would not fall to this twist of truth. The lie is in the cost, not the act. Yes, Jesus was hungry and the bread would have stifled his hunger. The second temptation is Jesus on the pinnacle of the temple. Satan tells Jesus, “If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down.” He is tempting Jesus’s pride, and faith. Jesus knows the Angels would catch him, but Jesus replies, “You shall not tempt the Lord.” In essence Satan is calling Jesus chicken. If you’re really the Son of the Father you need to prove it. Jesus doesn’t fall for this temptation, and Satan moves on to the third and final temptation. Satan tried to appeal to the sin of power. Satan offered dominion over the earth’s kingdoms right then, without having to suffer for it. Jesus replied that we are to worship “the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.” Jesus could have taken the kingdoms of the earth and ruled over them, but this would not have been the will of the Father.

Every temptation was based in truth. Every lie is a twist of facts just rebranded to look a little different. When we look at the lies Satan tells us every day, that you are a sinner, that you’re not worthy, that you’re a failure, that you’re weak, those things aren’t lies. It’s not that they aren’t true, the lie is where we forget about God’s promise, God’s love, grace. God’s grace and love and choice to save us is what overcomes the truth. We can never do enough, or be worthy enough to earn God’s graces, but that doesn’t take away from the truth that we are saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. Just as Satan could not tempt Jesus, we too must remember that Satan will lie to us and try to draw our attention away from Christ, but he will do so by twisting the law, twisting the truth, and trying to make you feel badly about yourself.

In Romans 14 Paul talks about how the simplest of things could be true based on the feelings around the temptations. For some person bowling could be a sin if that’s where their focus always is. Paul’s saying in the letter, do not pass judgment on the way someone eats, because they may be right with God and we shouldn’t judge another. In many of Paul’s letters especially Galatians Paul mentions circumcision that the church in Galatia was making men turned Christian get circumcised as if it were mandatory. Paul puts them in their place rebuking them for the only thing necessary for salvation is the love of Christ. Now, Satan will use all manner of things such as certain foods, or customs, or books we read such as “Harry Potter”,while it is not a sin for some, but others it may conflict with their personal beliefs. Satan will use this type of dissention to create a wedge between God’s people. While it may be true for one person and their relationship with God, it’s not going to be true for another. We must be careful with what we say is a Sin, and what we pass along in judgment to others. Having an affair may bring someone happiness temporarily, eventually that will wear off, just like buying a new car when you can’t afford it. Sure that new car will drive great, and you’ll have fun, and be proud of it, but when the car payments start to overwhelm you, you find that it’s not so much fun anymore. When we look at the lies from Satan they are always going to be based in truth but twisted to take your focus off of God. We must be careful with what we preach and how we preach it. I can stand here and say that alcohol is a Sin, but that’s not accurate. To much alcohol or a dependency on it however, is a sin. While there are millions of people who can use it responsibly, for some it would become a sin simply by the person they become, or the fact it in itself becomes an idol for them. Don’t be so quick to listen to someone quote scripture as a place of sin. Do your own research because I have seen church’s say you cannot be a Deacon if you have been divorced, no matter the reason. I have seen churches where the women in the church can’t have their hair cut short, or the men must wear a collard shirt, or the women cannot wear pants of any kind. Be careful what you label as sin because it could be you, who is sinning by passing judgments on others. Satan is not more powerful then God, and the lies whispered to us are only powerful if we allow them to have such power. Harden your mind against the attacks of the Devil, and protect your heart from barrage of aggressive talk from others. Take scripture and learn it, read it, study it, and you will find truth in a world full of lies.

Facing Down the Cosmic Bully

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Facing Down the Cosmic Bully

Life, is full of its ups and downs. Scripture is clear about where our blessings come from. James 1:1717 “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” If our gifts come from the Lord, then what about our misery? Misery is a strange thing because it can come from more then one place. We are often our own source of misery but aside from ourselves making poor life choices, the Devil is truly the biggest cosmic bully around. How do we stand up to a bully that big? What chance do we have when we are facing down a bully of that size? If we are to believe in the fundamental fact that Jesus Christ overcame death, and He saved our souls from eternal damnation, we must also believe that there are forces of both light and dark all around us. The spiritual realm although we cannot see it, is very real. Angels the forces for God, and demons, the forces for the Devil are constantly at war all around us. For those who are more in tune with their relationship with God they can sense when the forces of the Devil are around. It’s a lot like the Matrix, you can’t see it, but you know it’s everywhere within the world around you. You can see it when you take out the landlord’s garbage, or even when you pay your taxes.

We are in this world, but we are commanded, for those who follow Christ are not to conform to the world. The world is sin, and we must resist the temptations that come to us. Being in this world as a Christian invites troubles into your life. The Devil will use anything and everyone to dissuade you from giving your heart to Jesus, or if you have given your heart to Jesus, to make you doubt that relationship. The Devil is the ultimate bully, and he is jealous of our relationship with the Father. He might be a child throwing a tantrum, but even a child can cause a lot of damage when they have angelic powers. Don’t forget that just because the Devil was cast out from Heaven, doesn’t mean he was stripped of his powers. Angels and Demons are very much real, and just because we can’t see them, doesn’t mean the war isn’t waging all around us. The war is not for land, or resources, the war is for our very souls.

We know that the battle wages every day, and as each of us is filled with both the spirit and the sins of the flesh, it stands to reason that sometimes the pull of the flesh will win. This doesn’t mean the draws to a person; it means the part that is alienated by God. The flesh is the rebellious, stubborn, and often disrespectful side of us that refuses correction, and to acknowledge ones own faults. We are governed by sin at times, and we can fight it, but it’s inevitable that we will fail, and fail often. It’s that reason that Christ died on the cross, His blood shed for us, because there was no scenario where we could enter into heaven on our own merits or works.

What do we do when we find ourselves in the midst of a spiritual battle, and how do we know what it is? First you must ask yourself if you’ve ever been tempted to do something you know is wrong? Tempted to smoke cigarettes, tempted to steal something, tempted to lie, tempted by sexual desire, all these things are signs of spiritual warfare. The Devil uses our desires of the flesh, uses others, uses sickness and diseases, anything and everything to try and wedge a gap between you and the Father. The Devil and his legion of demons are always pulling people, pushing people, and causing mischief all around the world. He tries anything he can to raise doubts, to cast blame, even to the point of lying to us making us feel like we are worthless.

A movie I’ve been watching lately that I can’t seem to get enough of is Avengers: Infinity War. I was thinking about Thanos and his motives for doing what he does. While Thanos may actually be right around the fate of the universe he’s missing one important aspect, faith. There’s one scene where Thanos is talking to Gamora about needing to be the one to fix things, and she tells him “You don’t know that.” Thanos is misguided in his methods and no matter if you agree or disagree with him, he is a cosmic bully playing god and he has no business doing so.

(Spoilers Ahead)

 Even though Thanos seems to be unstoppable there’s a point where Thor’s new Ax, Stormbreaker cuts through Thano’s power and actually stabs him in the chest. Recently as I’ve been watching that, I have been thinking about our own fight against our biggest cosmic bully, the Devil. If the Devil attacks us, do we have our own Stormbreaker to cut through his attack and stab him in the chest? The answer is yes, absolutely! Stormbreaker is essentially the power of the Holy Spirit. We know that we have the Armor of God, Ephesians 6:10-18. “Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God;” This verse ends with prayer, telling us that in all things we must be willing to pray. Stormbreaker at the heart the word of God that cuts through Sin, desire, and any attack the Devil may throw at us. No matter the direction the attack comes from, whether it be through people, or sickness, or even our own sinful failings, the Word of God has all the answers. It in itself is the ultimate weapon against the biggest bully around. While we don’t have the power to be rid of Satan, we do have the power to fight him off, to force him back, and for a time have him removed from our presence.

During the temptation of Christ, we don’t see Christ using force to remove Satan, we see Christ using the word of God. Christ could have used force to remove the Devil, but since we don’t have that power, it serves as a lesson to each of us, how to fight on the battlefield beyond what we can see. We must never underestimate our own abilities because scripture tells us, Romans 8:31 “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”If God is with us we then have the power within us to withstand the attacks of Satan, and cast him away from us as Jesus once did. It may not be as flashy or glamorous as Thor flying above Wakanda throwing his beautiful new toy, cutting through Thanos’s blast and stabbing him in the chest, but never the less, we do have the power to stand up to our tormentor. Don’t underestimate yourself and never give up the fight. As long as we continue to believe in God and trust in Him, we will always have hope. One day our time to fight will be over and we will be called home. We will leave the fight for the next person after us, and all we can do is hope we have passed on our knowledge and love of Christ for the next generation to come. Have faith and in this spiritual battle that wages on, don’t forget to Love, Forgive, and live in Hope. In the battle here on earth, one thing we need to remember is there is no need to fear. There is nothing the Devil can do to remove the ransom paid for us. So long as we remain faithful to our Lord and Savior, we may suffer in this life, but this life is only temporary.

Lost in Desperation

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Lost in Desperation

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation? Do you feel hopeless and discouraged? Life can be a cruel and unforgiving place and it can leave us feeling like we’ve been ripped apart. It can feel like the gravity has been turned to max as we feel the weight on our shoulders crushing us down to the ground. When you feel like there’s nothing left in you to keep going, and hope is a distant memory, let me tell you there is still hope. The light can shine down upon you brighter then you’ve ever known. There is a tomorrow when the sun comes up and you can feel the weight being lifted off your shoulders, and you can let it go, all of it. The hope you seek is found in two simple words, Jesus Christ.

Romans 15:8-10 “8 For I tell you that Christ became a servant to the circumcised to show God’s truthfulness, in order to confirm the promises given to the patriarchs, 9 and in order that the Gentiles might glorify God for his mercy. As it is written,“Therefore I will praise you among the Gentiles, and sing to your name.” 10 And again it is said, “Rejoice, O Gentiles, with his people.” The truth, the way the light. Jesus came to defeat sin, and to restore hope to the world. Jesus came to bridge the gap between us and the Father. Jesus came to show us a life without worry and concern for things we cannot change. Jesus came to break the bonds sin had over us. Jesus came to show the world the way of love, and forgiveness. Jesus came to give us eternal life. Jesus was a humble servant, yet a Shepherd, a fisher of men. Jesus lived a life to show us the way to live in a world of darkness and hate. Jesus would show us how to rise above and love not just our neighbors but our enemies also. Jesus brings hope to a world lost, and we can find the truth in God’s son.

I once found myself living in the dark. I knew Jesus but I struggled with my pain trying to figure out what I’d done to upset God. I felt as if I were being punished. I felt like my punishment was ongoing, but no matter what I tried to do, I couldn’t find my way back. The truth was inside my heart the whole time. My loneliness and my own fear of being alone fueled my own doubts, my own self-loathing. I was blindfolded walking through life unable to see around me. I was in darkness, and I couldn’t hear what I needed to because I was so focused on my own pain. There are days in which I’m still lonely, and even now as I walk my path without someone holding my hand, I know Jesus is right next to me. I cannot change what tomorrow will bring for myself, but in the blink of an eye everything can change. While I am now waiting more patiently then ever for that change, I have faith that when my time comes I will be blessed with the desire in my heart. In the mean time my trust in the Lord is to preach his holy word, and be a light in the dark for others. Jesus Christ the hope and truth in this world, is beyond what any of us could ever be deserved to have.

John 3:17 “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” It is because of the blood sacrifice we wake up every morning with hope in our lives. While there will be troubled waters along the path, there is nothing we cannot endure through Christ. There will be days of weakness, and times of sorrow, but for every sunrise is a new chance to find courage to stand once again. Jesus is our strength when we are weak, our hope when we seem lost. Jesus is the light in our darkness. It’s truth amongst the lies, and we have only to ask for Jesus to enter our hearts, and the healing will begin. Every day as a Christian will be met with trials, it’s worth the pain in the end. The Devil wants us to be afraid because he feeds on our fear, he fuels our doubts, and he poisons our minds with troubles. We must stand firm against the lies of the wicked one, and trust in the power of the Holy Spirit. Do not let yourselves be conformed by this world, but stand apart different, stand as a beacon of hope to others who are lost and show them the truth in Jesus Christ. There is only one way out of darkness and that’s the Son of God. We must embrace the son, and teach the words left for us to follow. Rise up and let go of your desperation. Find your place in this world because the Father made you for a reason, and he doesn’t do anything without purpose. God makes no mistakes, and if you are here, if you are breathing you are not by accident. You are special, you are unique, and you are loved.

 

I’m Afraid

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I’m Afraid

I’m afraid of what tomorrow will bring. I’m afraid of my failures, and I’m afraid of my future. I’m afraid I will not be loved again, and that I will not obtain my desires of a family. I’m afraid I will fail in my goal to finish college. I’m afraid of being alone, and never getting out on my own. The failures in my past ring loudly in my ears. My wheels spinning in the mud, unable to get traction I feel stuck. I feel as if I’ve become paralyzed by the fear in my life. I feel my failures mounting higher and higher and I feel as if I’ve lost so much and I’ve fallen so far, I often question if I can ever get back what I’ve lost. More then getting back what I lost, I question if I deserve to get back what I’ve lost.

Fear is a normal, it often protects us from harm, but fear can also be used as a weapon. I don’t feel like I am good enough most days. I am trapped in my memories of what I’ve lost. I’m trapped and I know fear is holding me back robbing me of my tomorrow. Tomorrow seams so far and in my mind it’s a monster, filled with rows of teeth, claws and a bark that shakes my very core. Can I go through that kind of pain again? Can I open myself up and take a chance like that again? With the fear flooding my emotions, I feel paralyzed most days. I want to stay in the house, I want to run and hide away from the world ashamed of my very public failure. How can anyone ever love me after the last two years? The truth will set you free, if you only choose to believe in it. The world is a cruel and sometimes unforgiving place. The whole of our society is determined to beat you to the ground. Fear as I mentioned can be a good thing, but when you’re afraid like that, it’s the Devil trying to keep you down. When you feel the fear building, Psalms 34:4 “I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Fear is a weapon of the Devil to keep you subdued, to keep you from the grace of the father. Proverbs 29:25 “The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.”

Though I am afraid I must not let fear control me. I must continue to fight the Devil and not fall to his flaming arrows. I must fight back and harden my mind against his attacks. The fear I have stays with me, but I fight the good fight every day. Psalm 23 “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.”

Fear has often been a challenge for me. Ever since I was young I always felt as if I wasn’t good enough. That my physical looks weren’t good enough for people. The bullying I faced as a child was ruthless and left me damaged. The losses as an adult amplified those feelings of inadequacy and I have been an easy target for the Devil. My faith has kept strong, and as I continue to move forward, I often hear the whispers from the darkness calling my name. I was shattered, a thousand pieces, broken down and bleeding on the floor. I’ve been gluing the pieces back together, but the heart still hurts.

When I close my eyes I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I find myself thinking of the songs that have touched my heart. The healing power of music, it fills my heart and reminds me of the Lord and savior who’s always with me. I pray to God to take away my pain, who gives me my joy, and protects me when I cry. The storm comes to everyone, no matter who you are. All we can do is trust in the Lord to see us through. We are held by a Savior, and we have to have faith in our foundation that can’t be shaken. We can all thank God that our yesterday’s gone, and looking forward to tomorrow, we don’t have to go backwards. Praise God in the storm, and know that wherever you were yesterday, tomorrow is a choice. When we are broken down, when we are shattered on the floor, let the healing hand of God put us back together. Put your prayers to work, and put your boots on the floor and start walking. We’ve been washed by the blood and we are made new, we can stand up and watch the fear be washed away. 2 Corinthians 7:1 “Since we have these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from every defilement of body and spirit, bringing holiness to completion in the fear of God.” If we try to walk this world alone, and we find our self tired of being solo, it’s time to put our faith in God and trust that God’s in control not the Devil. If we remember who’s on the throne and remember that nothing that happens to us in this world can take our salvation from us the rest is just fluff.

Our own fears although they may be very real, are something for us to control and concur. Fear as I said can be a great tool to warn us of danger, to keep us pushing forward when we need to. We can’t allow fear to run our life. We must stand tall on God’s word and fight the fear that floods our hearts. While I fight my own fear, and my own negative judgments of myself, I know the journey isn’t one to be finished overnight. I know that the road is long, and it’s hard. Colossians 1:11-12 “11 being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, 12 and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.” In the darkest of nights, the fiercest of storms, when it seems like you’ll never see the dawn of another day, just when you think you can’t take another step, the Lord will pick you up and keep you safe. Trust in the Lord and remember, you’re child of the one true King. You’re special in the eyes of the one who created you, and you will inherit the kingdom of Heaven. We have already defeated death, all we have to do is live.

 

 

 

 

 

Letting Go

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Letting Go

Life isn’t always the way we have planned. Sometimes things happen and it hurts us. Friends leave or hurt our feelings, loved ones abandon us, someone insults us, all number of things can do damage to our sometimes-sensitive psyches. The thing is, pain is all part of life. When it happens it isn’t fun at all, and it can leave a lasting mark on our hearts. It can turn to scars and those scars if not careful can harden your heart. We need to remember that for every ounce of pain we endure, there may be something greater coming in the future we are being prepared for. “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. “You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” – C.S. Lewis. 1 Peter 5:10 “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” Suffering happens to everyone, but as a Christian we expect to endure great hardships. 1 Peter 4:12-13 “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.” Being a Christian isn’t always easy. It often takes great strength and fortitude to manage the trials day in and day out. People can be callused in their heart and they may say and do things that hurt and cut us deeply. We must know this and find ways to manage, and see this from a different perspective. Isaiah 48:10 “Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.”

Set your eyes to the lord

 When we are down and stressed, when we are joyful and blissful, we should always look to the Lord. When our eyes are set on the Lord our lives are closer to being on the right path. Proverbs 4:25-27 “Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee. Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established. Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil.” We must look, but we must see beyond the surface. We must have faith and trust that our trials come with a purpose. When hardships happen are we taking them to the Lord? Colossians 3:2 “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.” The only true ways out of the fire is the Lord. When we realize we need the Lord we are one step closer to a healthy relationship with our Father.

Looking forward not back

We must have the strength to take our steps forward. We must always move forward and never go backwards. The horizon isn’t some place to ponder; it’s a place to venture towards. As the days begin with the rising sun remember that every day is a painting. Every day is a new fresh canvas for the Lord to paint our lives. Like a drop in the water, the ripples of our life from the smallest things could always move us into position for great things. Isaiah 43:18 “Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.” All things happen for a reason and in those reasons we must have faith. We will be strengthened by our pain, and like a sword in the forged, it takes time, it takes fire, it takes the hammer, and the anvil to shape the beautiful steel sword. When sharpened we can cut through the enemy because we were forged by the Holy Spirit. Philippians 3:13-14 “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” The prize for us is eternal salvation. We mustn’t allow our past to hold us back. We mustn’t get stuck in the pain and force ourselves to relive it daily. While it’s not easy to move past the pain, but if we use the pain, harness it’s raw power and effect, we can believe in our hearts it’s for a purposes. Job 17:9 “The righteous also shall hold on his way, and he that hath clean hands shall be stronger and stronger.” Kneel in prayer taking only a moment to physically stop moving, but allowing your spirit to fly and thrive in the light of the world. In the darkest of storms when we have the Holy Spirit inside us, we may be going through our own struggles, but as a Godly person remember you may be going through your own storms, and you may be looking for your own light in the darkness, but think about it this way, what if you’re someone else’s light in the darkness? What if how you manage your pain is the strength and inspiration someone else needs? 1 Corinthians 13:12 “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” The reflection we see may not always be what we expect, but as we continue to grow in our faith, that reflection will reveal more of our true image, the image that was created by God to be loved by God, and when we look in the mirror one day we will see God standing with us.

 Don’t Dwell on the past

We can’t get stuck, we must move forward, and if we ever do get caught worrying about our past, we must remember Matthew 6:27 “Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?” Worrying about yesterday, and focusing on what we did wrong, or what was done wrong to us doesn’t add a single moment to our life. Now I’m not saying don’t reflect, don’t review the past to make your tomorrow better but don’t worry about it, don’t forget to move past it. When we do that, when we finally figure out how to do an affective After Action Review, we can adjust and overcome, and make tomorrow a better day.

Giving your hurt to God

Every day we have choices to be made. We choose to get out of bed, we choose to go to the bathroom, to eat breakfast, to look at your phone, or to turn on the TV. We make choices about what to wear, where to go, to go to work, to stop at the gas station on the way, or wait till later. So in our every day choices, are we choosing to let God into our hearts? Are we choosing to be mad at someone for what they said to us? Are we choosing to forgive or not? Are we choosing to remain in the fire of our own making? Are we choosing to remain in our own prison? We need to learn to choose to give our pain our suffering, our struggles to God. We need to choose to let God into our hearts, and have the faith to let go of what we cannot control. When we learn to take the hands off the wheel and let God take over, we realize that we weren’t ever in control anyway. Loving God is a choice, and letting go of the pain inside is also a choice. It’s not one that’s easy, and it takes practice, and time, but in those it takes and requires effort. Facing our fears, and our pain is hard, and we need to handle that just like we walk to the refrigerator. It’s one step, one moment at a time, and before we know it we start to feel a little less pain, a little less grief. Philippians 4:6-7 “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” The pain may never go away but it won’t define us. The betrayal of close friends, loved ones, may always stay with us, but we can learn to trust again. We can learn to love again. People are fickle creatures, and can be motivated by a million different things in their own life. The pain we have can be the forging fire and we can become stronger if we grow, or if not heat-treated right a sword may become brittle. We don’t want to be the brittle steel broken at the first blow, we want to be strong and dependable. If every moment is more then you can take, and you have troubles and you need strength the one place to find refuge is Matthew 11:28-30 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Remember that the phrase “God will never give you more then you can take.” Is not scriptural at all. When you feel like you can’t take anymore the refuge you seek is Jesus Christ. God may not pull up on the rains to slow things down, but whatever you ‘need’ God will provide to you. You will always have the tools to get through the pain, and the suffering if you just look to God and pray for the help you need.

In every day life we will have friends come and go. We will have days of great joy, and days of great sorrow. It’s okay to not be okay, and it’s okay to just cry some days. Don’t get stuck in the misery, but remember God gave us our feelings for a reason and it’s important to remember some days you just need the sweet release of tears. Some days you need a good belly laugh, and in all these things beauty can be found. No matter what emotion you’re going through, you’re never alone. You may walk in the snow and see only one set of footprints, but that doesn’t mean Jesus is right there with you. The important thing is to find ways to handle those emotions. We cry to the Lord and even if we are crying the Lord is pleased because we are coming to our Savior, but sad that we are in pain. Forward always, and never backwards, because Jesus is always in front of us, hand extended to pull us through the day. Not for one moment in this life are we forsaken and forgotten.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Insomnia

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Insomnia

I lay away at night, so much on my mind, the days, the weeks the months. Bitter sweet for the end, the signature and ink on the line, and that’s it, all that time just vanishes. Was I a failure? I ponder the days that draw near, the move, and even maybe someone. It’s 0100 and I’ve been up for an hour. I slept for an hour and awoke for no apparent reason.

It’s not often I can’t sleep at night. They say when you can’t sleep write down what’s on your mind and get it out. While for me it’s very clear what it is, I have to keep in mind that this is a season of change for me. While there’s plenty in my life that’s a mile beyond complicated I am trying to stay focused on the things I can change, and let go of the things I can’t.

The serenity prayer has been influential tonight, but sleep still eludes me. What do some of you do when you can’t sleep? Do you try the warm milk, count sheep, get out of bed and pace around? Do you turn on the TV, or read, or write in a journal? I’m generally curious.

Philippians 4:6-7 “Never worry about anything. But in every situation let God know what you need in prayers and requests while giving thanks.  Then God’s peace, which goes beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your thoughts and emotions through Christ Jesus.”

1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

Proverbs 3:24 “When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet.”

Psalms 4:8 “I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety.”

 A prayer for sleep: My God my God, I lay awake and worry has my mind. I ask for clarity and peace of mind to allow me to sleep tonight. I am thankful for the many blessings I have. I’m thankful for the new path in front of me, and I’m thankful for the special person you’ve put into my life. Even though I may be restless tonight, I am grateful for all I have. As tomorrow is the closing of an era, I pray strength to continue to move forward. While I will have more bad days to come, I know that peace can be found in knowing you’re still in control. For those who are broken and can’t find the strength to get up off the floor, I pray your peace finds them and me. The days come and go, and I know that though my road is long, the dawn will come and everything will be all right. We are more the choices that we make; we are more then the sum of our past mistakes. Through Christ we are forgiven and even when we don’t deserve that forgiveness, that grace, we are loved beyond anything we can ever understand. Don’t let worry and doubt, and regret keep you up at night. Breathe and let go. Now go get some sleep!

The Rugged Path

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The rugged path

A path we walk so deep into the wilderness. The stones piled high to block the traveler. Trucks and sticks, thistles and thorns, are but some of the dangers set upon the traveler. The nighttime brings the howls and the moon. What little chance does the traveler have against the predators of the dark to navigate the path with so many hazards? The traveler’s alone no partner or friend, no one to navigate, no one to bare the truths. The path at night is scary and brings a fright. The traveler walks and fear both good and evil takes hold. Fear can paralyze us, stop us from moving, fear when unchecked unmatched can bury us in our tracks. The path’s dangers are many, and we stub our toe, we scrape our knees, we take thorns to the face, but we keep driving on. Fear of death can push us to continue, and fear can keep us fighting if we only see right now. Of all the things we fear on the path, the internal battle is often more scary and more dangerous. What if we fail and we can’t figure out how to get back up? What if we are doomed to walk this earth alone because someone left us? What if loss is our fate and we will never be happy again? Fear can be manifest on our path, fear of all these things can present themselves as stumbling blocks, thorns, wolves, and darkness. The fear we have are lies from the deceiver himself. Some way, some how, we must learn to light up our path, and allow the light to reveal the secrets of the dark.

2 Corinthians 4:6 “It started when God said, “Light up the darkness!” and our lives filled up with light as we saw and understood God in the face of Christ, all bright and beautiful.” We must have faith in the Lord. We know that God lit up the darkness, and we know that we lived in darkness till we were saved by it. John 1:5 “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” Jesus Christ gave us the hope we didn’t have since the fall from Eden. We know that Abba (father) is kind and just. We know that Christ made the winds stop and the storm to pass. Isaiah 26:7-11 “Lord, you make the path smooth for good people; the road they travel is level. 8 We follow your will and put our hope in you; you are all that we desire. 9At night I long for you with all my heart; when you judge the earth and its people, they will all learn what justice is. 10 Even though you are kind to the wicked, they never learn to do what is right. Even here in a land of righteous people they still do wrong; they refuse to recognize your greatness. 11 Your enemies do not know that you will punish them. Lord, put them to shame and let them suffer; let them suffer the punishment you have prepared. Show them how much you love your people. “ We know that our fate was sealed but the innocent blood of Christ saved us. We know that now our fate is within our own power of free will. We know the power of God to shape our path is stronger then we could ever possibly hope to imagine. Isaiah 40:4 “Every valley shall be lifted up, and every mountain and hill be made low; the uneven ground shall become level, and the rough places a plain.” Light up the path, remove the stones, the thistles, the thorns, the trunks that would reach up and grab you and hold you down will withers and flatten out.

Having faith and letting go of the pain, the suffering within our heart, is hard, but we can overcome the darkness inside us if we work on it daily, practice it and telling ourself every day that we can put one foot in front of the other. Sometimes one foot in front of the other is all we can do. Every single day we must ask God to take that pain, take the traps on the path we walk and remove them from our hike through the world. Our faith is something we must continue to work on, every day we will find ourselves under attacked from the Devil’s lies, the Devil’s tricks, the Devil’s temptations, and we must allow ourselves to fight the fight with the help of God. We cannot fight the Devil alone and we will loose if we choose to get into the ring with Him and try to go one on one. We must always keep in mind we are nothing without God, we achieve nothing without the grace of God and we cannot make our way through the rugged terrain without the blessings God bestows upon us. This path we walk there will be bloodshed, there will be tears and no matter how the path gets us down, allow God to pick you back up always, and you will see that even in the hardships you will feel the grace of God.

 

 

 

 

Facing Fear

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Facing Fear

Sometimes in life we are put into situations that force us to face our fears. In my life I have seen war, I’ve seen death, I’ve seen evils, and I’ve seen cruelty. I’ve seen the evil in a man’s eyes as they try to murder another human being. I’ve seen the color leave someone as the heart stopped beating. I’ve had to face fear and in that fear I’ve had to face my own mortality. I’ve had to go out on faith and trust that the Lord was leading me to a place that would be best for me. As I survived the ambush in 2004 in the city of Ramadi, I could feel the Holy Spirit guiding me to safety. When I moved to the city of Durham from Indiana in 2010 with a woman I didn’t really know that well I found myself following faith and the things that led me to where I was. As I am now in another situation in my life, I have to face the fear deep down and trust in the Lord once again.

Psalm 27:14 “14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.” Trust the Lord and be faithful. Trust that the Lord has good plans for you. Trust that no matter what trials you face, the Lord will bring you through it. No matter the life’s struggles we face Jesus promises to never leave us. Hebrews 13:5-6 “5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. 6 So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.”

What do we fear? Do we fear failure, not being accepted, or being hurt? Do we fear being left behind, or forgotten? The truth is, at some point we all feel something along these lines. These fears are strong and often justified, but the allowing of ourselves to be driven by that fear if it stops us from moving forward is just as bad as sin. What we must remember is that the promise of the Lord is to lift us up, to protect us in our time of sorrow, to wipe our tears in our times of sadness. Finding someone we choose to love, finding that love and knowing that to love is a choice. Love is action, it’s doing every day, it’s making the effort to listen to the words of God and allowing them into our hearts. We are often put into a situation where we love others, sometimes that love comes with surprises, other times we are the surprise. Don’t let the fear of being hurt stop you from jumping out on faith. Trust in the Lord and love like we are taught to love. Make love be something that you do, not something that you feel.