Tag: family

Finding Love and Dealing With Loss

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Finding Love and Dealing With Loss

As it’s been a good while since my separation I find myself revisiting my future for Love. As I have posted extensively what love means to me, I still have a hard time understanding my place in this world, and as I question my place, I also question the purpose of me remaining single and unable to find even so much as a date. Now I’m not complaining, just making an observation. The scripture tells us, Jeremiah 29:11 “11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” The day to day routine I find mundane and it’s a tough pill to swallow. The struggles we have to find our way, to understand the ‘plan’. When a relationship falls apart and broken hearts are left in the wake of the hurricane that plows through life, steps to recovery need to be taken. We’ll talk about those here.

While I have been on my own road to recovery there are things I have found and learned over the last year. What steps can we take and why are they important? According to divorce magaziene.com there are 10 not so easy steps to recovery.

  1. Don’t forget to ask for help
  2. Declutter
  3. Keep yourself busy
  4. Find yourself again
  5. Travel
  6. Give it time
  7. Things happen for a reason
  8. Find your focus
  9. Try to forgive
  10. Do not close your doors

I will say asking for help is important. This however comes with some pitfalls. Some friends are fair weather friends and will not be there to help support you in your time of need. In the event that happens try not to let that add to your pain. It will, but it’s important to focus on what you can change in your life. Declutter is so important. I failed in this category. I allowed myself to keep pictures, and objects that would remind me of my marriage and that would create hope and pain where perhaps there wasn’t any. It’s so important to pack this stuff up. We don’t necessarily need to destroy or get rid of this stuff, but putting it out of sight out of mind is very important. Yes that means facebook too.

Next is keeping yourself busy. This can be a very hard to achieve. This often requires friends to be around or you to be comfortable enough to venture out on your own. This too is a step I failed miserably. My activity average was very low. I found myself in the house unable and unwilling to go out by myself when I didn’t have anyone to spend time with. It’s important to find something, anything that you enjoy. For me my joys were Lego’s, Archery, Photography, and writing this blog. We can never forget Netflix. Sadly my injury had stopped a few of my options dead in it’s tracks, and Lego’s can be expensive, so that’s another thing to think about, the cost involved in this step. Finding hobbies and other means to keep busy should be inexpensive and not taxing or draining important resources.

We must learn to find out who we are. This is something I hear all the time. Take time for yourself. While this time period is different for everyone, it’s important not to dwell on the past. Find who you are without the love that’s no longer in your life. Find what about yourself you love, and stop the negativity in its tracks. When you are not the one to walk away in the marriage, when it’s something you didn’t expect or want, it’s difficult to combat the harsh feelings that keep into your mind. It’s important to reach out in times of need, and surround yourself with people who are positive and will lift you up, rather than tear you down.

While traveling may not be something everyone can do, a bit of change in scenery can be a world of difference. Getting out of the home you both had is important. Even getting out of the town or city though not viable for everyone, it’s still worth a thought.

Time, is both our friend, and our enemy. While time heals wounds, if that time is not treated with respect, it can create pain. We must learn how to balance time and effort. We must tell ourselves every day that tomorrow will be just a little better then today. We must learn to let go of the pain a little at a time. Let time be an ally and not an enemy.

We may not understand it, but everything happens for a reason. We may not ever get the answer to why our spouse decided to leave, or do whatever it is they did, but we must realize that for every tragedy, there is also opportunity. While this is perhaps one of the hardest things to do, that love we must hold for ourselves, and understand that tomorrow may be the day we meet someone new. We must understand that no one can ever replace the loved one lost, but we must understand that while we can’t replace someone, someone different can be just around the corner, someone that can become very special to us. We have to have faith in God, that God doesn’t want the faithful to be alone, and if we remain faithful to Christ, we will be rewarded when it’s God’s time.

Find focus and purpose in your life. We must allow ourselves to feel important in our own lives and some do this by reaching out to help others. Some do this by volunteering, or working longer hours, or spending time with family. Set written goals, and allow yourself to work towards them, but make sure your set goals are actually obtainable. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast. You don’t have to achieve everything all at once. Allow yourself to work at a reasonable pace towards those goals.

While I don’t believe in the word ‘try’ in the try to forgive, instead I will say forgiveness is not something to be earned. Forgiveness is something to be given freely because we are told to forgive in scripture. There’s not a single verse that says to forgive under some circumstances instead of others. No, we are told to forgive as our Father has forgiven us, and we will never have done enough or can never do enough to earn that forgiveness. It may take time to forgive because some people hold onto grudges, and while I can disagree with that notion, it’s a fact of life. Every day you must tell yourself, “I forgive you” no matter what it is, forgiveness is to let go of that anger, the hate, and to allow yourself be rid of the poison that fills your soul.

Don’t let the fear of striking out stop you from getting up to the plate. While not every relationship will turn to marriage, and not everyone you meet will turn into a relationship, we can’t be afraid to try. We never know what we may be passing up unless we try.

We don’t and won’t understand everyone’s actions and intentions, but it’s in our darkest of hours we may find what we are truly made of. Having faith in God and allowing ourselves to be good servants and stewards of God’s love and grace, we will be rewarded when the time is right. Colossians 3:23-24 “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” Always live to do hard works for Christ. When we live for the Lord, when we Love the Lord and give all the glory to the Lord, we will be given the Godly desires of our hearts. Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

 

 

 

OOPS

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OOPS

Have you ever made a mistake, a big one that was life changing, but you didn’t know how to own up to it? The fact of the matter is, we are never going to be perfect, and sometimes we make mistakes that are so uncharacteristic the outside world is shocked at our behavior. It’s not a matter of if we make a mistake, or a big one, it’s how we own up to it. Galatians 5:5-8 “5 For every man shall bear his own burden. 6 Let him that is taught in the word communicate unto him that teacheth in all good things. 7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.” It’s important that we understand the nature of sin, and own up to it when we do.Oops3If you’re Batman, and you accidently crash your dune buggy into someone’s house, do you say oops? As a person, as a human being, we are broken into categories. We are both good and evil. Everyone has the potential for both, and every day we have the potential to make both good and bad choices. Every day we see the choices in our lives, along our path that gives us the opportunity to decide who we are. When we make a bad decision we have the choice to continue along that path or alter it for a new one.Ooops1

I think one thing above all else that’s important is your personal conscience. When we do bad things, does our conscience make us feel guilty, remorseful, or do we feel nothing for the pain and suffering we’ve caused? When we do awful things there’s only so much we can say to offer up an apology. Eventually that phrase, ‘I’m sorry’ only does so much. For me, the most important part is the action that defines us, that our heart may be deceived by the world, and the struggles to follow the right thing can only be found in the Word. It is in 2 Corinthians 1:12 that we find how to follow the right path. “For our proud confidence is this: the testimony of our conscience, that in holiness and godly sincerity, not in fleshly wisdom but in the grace of God, we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially toward you.” Knowing we have listened to God’s word and we have followed in Christ the best we can, maybe that’s how we know the difference between good and evil, right and wrong. When we no longer see the world as these things but it just is. The world owes us nothing, people in the world make good and bad decisions and how we choose to reciprocate, or choose to treat others, thats when we are put to the ultimate test. Being judged by God for what we do, how we do it, and hopefully our trust and faith in God, having the Holy Spirit within us, allowing it to guide us, that’s when we know our conscience will tell us the difference between right and wrong.

When we feel badly for wronging others, or we feel guilty for letting those around us down because of something we’ve done, that’s when we are being convicted by the grace of God to do right, to do good things. Bad things happen in the course of a life, we are responsible for some, not responsible for others. When we believe in the Lord, when we believe in the Holy Spirit we should have empathy for those who are hurting, suffering, and we should feel no desire to do harm to others. We would feel awful for causing pain and we should try everything we can to avoid doing such pain to anyone. Remember that when we do wrong, to make action to repent for a mistake. Right your wrongs, make good on your word, and let your word be your bond.

Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Our words are so very important in our lives. The words we utter should only edify. The words we share with others should be a reflection of our heart. The words we say show what’s inside us, and our word should mean and stand for something. Matthew 5:37 “37 But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.” Don’t let Satan stain your heart in the ways of the wicked. Don’t allow yourself to be fooled and deceived by the deceiver. Lift up your heart to the Lord above, and when you wrong, right it, when you hurt, provide healing. In every wake of your wrongdoings provide adequate to ample repentance for the wicked you cause. Stand tall and firm against injustice, especially when you may have been the one to cause it.

 

 

Mercy in Time of War

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Mercy in time of War

“ It was pity that stayed Bilbo’s hand. Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life.” (Gandolf LOTR)

Something’s been on my mind lately. As the last 11 months has taught me anything it’s life is made up of good and bad situations, and some of the worst of situations may seem like a battlefield. It’s in our deepest darkest moments a choice must be made. How do we react to the enemy firing warning shots across our bow, or doing strafing runs to get us rowdy? The enemy wants us to get angry, the enemy wants us to retaliate with force. The enemy wants for us to yell, and scream, and we are expected to be fowl, and angry, allow our hate to flow through us and let that hate consume us. In the Hobbit Bilbo Baggins had a choice when he had Gollum within striking distance while cloaked. Gollum would end up playing a major role years later that allowed Frodo to get the One Ring to Mordor. As Christians we are told not to be the judge, to leave that for God, but as man we aren’t perfect and sometimes we struggle with this.

The hardest thing we may ever do is to provide kindness, to be merciful to our enemies and show love and compassion even when we are being treated horribly by someone or someone’s. How we respond when we are attacked verbally, or physically will show a lot about who we are, our maturity, and our walk with God.

Matthew 5:38-44 “38 Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: 39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. 40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also. 41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. 42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away. 43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. 44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”

So much is said in this verse. When struck by your enemy, instead of returning fire, instead offer the other cheek, not to turn the other cheek but literally offer the next. When someone goes after you in a suit, to offer more then they are asking. It’s so hard for us to understand the concept, but in every negative action towards us, we are to return in kind more to them in kindness then we have received in wickedness. No matter how hard we try we may never change the hearts and mind of another person. All we can do is pray for them, live by an example, show the world what it means to walk Christ like but making sure our testimony our witness is a strong solid foundation. Being human we are going to sin, we are going to fall, we are going to fail people, but being true stewards of God’s word we can hope and pray to live the best we can, to make the best choices possible in every situation as humanly possible for being a sin natured creature.

Sometimes someone can say something that just hurts. It’s often the people we care for the most that do the most damage. How much can we take? How deep can that knife go before we just can’t take the pain anymore? When those in our lives destroy everything we build, when the whole of the world around us topples around us, and the enemy is pounding down upon that gate, and all we want to do is throw up our hands and give up. The shadows that rise up against us and beat us down, the Devil that pounds us to the ground, and doesn’t want us to get back up.

When the Devil takes the hearts of those we care about and turns them against us, and the wolves try to run us down, all we can do is turn, and stand our ground. Get back up off that mat, fight back, and do it with Love, with Kindness, with Compassion. You can’t change the world but God can. You can’t change others, but your actions can show others how a Godly man or woman is. We never know the hurt going on below the surface or why someone does what they do.

I believe that we may never know or understand why some people go to great lengths to hurt you. But in our trying times, in the midst’s of the battles we fight, all we can do is believe. Believe in the Holy Spirit, believe in the God, and believe in the Mercy that God, that Jesus Christ has given to us, was also for us to share to the rest of the world. The Mercy we share upon others, the Mercy and love that was blessed to us we have a duty an obligation to share that with the world. The Gospel was given to us and in that new commandments would tell us to love on another, spread the gospel to those without. We have our commandments, and it’s up to us to follow them. It’s not always easy, but nothing worth having is.

 

Scream Until Your Lungs Get Sore

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Scream Until Your Lungs Get Sore

I find myself struggling. I struggle to get out of bed in the morning. This isn’t a physical struggle, it’s an emotional one. I find I would rather sleep away the hours, then be up and do things I have little to no joy in doing. I spend my day watching Netflix, and now I have graduated to playing a little Xbox on the side. I have struggled to sit down with my computer and hash out a blog or two. The things I once enjoyed have now become the mundane. The music has now become an annoying buzz, the shows I watch are just passing the time. Since I can’t drive the movies in theater that I would have normally seen come and go. The sad part is, I’m not sure how much I care. The spark of excitement in life seems like it’s gone out. Now, don’t misunderstand, I’m not complaining, it’s just the facts. I do feel blessed, I do feel thankful to have what I do, and I know I have it better then a lot of people. That’s not the issue.

The truth is, I don’t know what the issue is. I don’t know why I feel melancholy. What I know is something’s gotta give. What I know is I can’t keep going the way I am. I find my joy in a few small places, but it doesn’t seem enough to kick start the rest of me. I sit and I ponder what she is thinking. I know I shouldn’t care, and I know I should probably just let it go, but is she miserable too? I know I didn’t cause this, and I know I’ve tried everything to fix it, but you know what they say, misery loves company. I don’t want company to feel miserable with. I want company that I can talk to, hang out with, enjoy a cold drink with. What I’m looking for I know I won’t find here, not yet, not now. Philippians 4:11 “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” Being content no matter where you find yourself is difficult. It’s not something most of us have gotten to a point where we can say we are. It may not be something we’ve mastered, but it’s something we should always attempt to do.

Being content with what we have, and content with what we don’t, the Holy Grail as it were for a daily survival guide. Don’t let life keep you down. Find a way to better your situation, pray about it, and continue to be a doer, and not hope and pray for change to fall into your lap. Try to get up and make a chance. Even though some days you just want to scream, and there’s nothing wrong with that, try to find something you can strive for, and shoot for the stars. Don’t let the shadow of doubt, regret, and disappointment keep you covered.

 

 

 

The world fractured.

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The world fractured.

The life live and breaks,

You cry allowed for heaven sakes.

The life you have and it all changes so fast,

No matter how much you want to change the past,

All you can do cry out at last.

The lovers lost, the feel, the sight, the touch,

No matter the time, you miss so much.

 

We can’t go back, but even if we could,

The biggest question is if we should.

The broken mug can’t be undone,

It seems cliché but what’s done is done.

 

When the heart is shattered and it feels broken into a thousand pieces, sometimes all you can do is take a step back and have faith. It’s hard after going through tragedy to learn to pick yourself up and move forward. Once broken your heart will never be the same. The more it happens the harder it is to put the pieces back together, over and over again. No matter how hard you try, there are always residual scars left behind. Humpty Dumpty will never look the same even if you glue everything back together just right. The fact is, we must learn to live with our scars, we must learn to live with the idea that in some way, we may be broken.

The nature of heart break, and baggage is something most adults have some degree of experience with. It’s important to face your demons head on and come to grips with them. God uses broken things, no matter how broken we think we are, God if given the opportunity can and will use us for the greater good. We must remember to have and keep the faith. It may be hard, but we have to have trust in Jesus, and that trust must over power the pain of what’s left behind after the storms blows through.

Try to keep in mind that just because something breaks, doesn’t mean it can’t be built back up better and brighter then it was before. Have faith that the end of one thing is the beginning of another.

 

Not a victim, but a Survivor

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Not a victim, but a survivor

I’ve been considering what it means to go through a divorce you didn’t ask for. I’ve been considering what it means to suffer through it twice. For many, divorce can be devastating, for some it can be like being set free from Hell. For me, I’d say both times it was the first. I didn’t want, nor did I ask for this to happen. What I do know, is I will not be considered a victim, I will a survivor. The pain felt deep within my very soul has affected me profoundly. As I have traveled this world I have seen many men and women in need, I have seen many and in my time I have happened upon much I have found it in myself to stop and provide aid. I have been so many times the Good Samaritan.

As a survivor I have had my brushes with death, more then most. I have seen the evil in man’s heart; I have witnessed it first hand. I have watched good men die; I have had them die in front of me as I stood by powerless to stop it. I have seen the cruelty and the lies others will tell to their own selfish natures and desires. I have seen those stand idly by and do nothing, I have seen those who support the ill intent that has befallen me and even with all the bad that’s happened, I have emerged from the filth and the mud, and I have been blessed by God. I know that there will be trials ahead, and I know that there will be troubled waters. As I navigate through the blackest of nights, I know that there are those out there who support me, who love me for me, who believe in what I’m doing.

There’s a whole wide world out there for me to explore. There’s a whole lot of hurt I’d like to be able to make a little better for those whom I care about. As I revisit the Good Samaritan, where are we and what are we? Are we the priest, the Levite, the Samaritan, or the ill intent that left the man on the side of the road half dead? Are we the innkeeper that was paid to aid the man? Where we fall in the spectrum and why? I have often found myself questioning where have all the good men gone, and where are all the good women. I have often found myself questioning the business of our society today that we are on the go from dawn till dusk. We see ourselves running and running, and as our priorities are set, what then is left out of our 24 hour day?

No I’m not a victim of ill intent, I am a survivor. I have survived more then my fair share, and I continue to fight the fight every day. I one day want to be able to look my loved ones in the eye and tell them I too have fought the good fight, I have kept the course, and I too have finished the race. I want to leave behind a legacy for my family to be proud of. I was not born into a world that is so fallen there is no hope. I believe in the Hope of Jesus Christ, and I believe that those who follow Him, those who believe in the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, that those who follow that in their hearts and show the world that’s where hope is born, that there are still good people out there, and that my God is a living God living in us every day. I believe that as we put our faith in God, that the people who believe in God are bound to find others, that attract others in the name of the Lord.

We can see the hope around us, we can see the small spark even in the darkest of night if we keep our eyes open. Although man will fail you, and man will disappoint you, knowing that the Holy Spirit can and does wonders for the human heart, that tomorrow as doom and gloom as it appears, is only one day in the vastness of forever. Find yourself the light in the darkness, and you too may be able to say one day who you are in the story. Define yourself by the content of your heart, and allow yourself to be defined by what you do, and how you treat others along the path. The Ill Intent, The Samaritan, The Traveler, The Priest, or the Levite. The Choice is yours.

It Ain’t How You Hit The Mat, It’s How You Get Up

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It Ain’t How You Hit The Mat, It’s How You Get Up

Sometimes in life, sometimes depending on who you are, you might feel like you’ve been hit and kicked an awful lot in your life. Someone once told me you can only get kicked so many times before you don’t want to get back up anymore. The person who told that to me means more to me then anyone else on the planet. She’s seen more then her fair share of hurt and suffering, and over the last few years she’s had way more then her fair share. It breaks my heart to see her suffering. Recently I was watching one of my favorite Netflix shows and in the show Matt Murdock and his dad are talking about his boxing career. One thing Jack Murdock was known for was how to take a punch. Is that the same for Christians? How well do we take the punch when we fall under attack by the Devils temptations? The song by Chumbawamba famous in it’s own right. Getting knocked down in life happens, but how we get back up defines us.

Tubthumper By: Chumbawamba

I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down

No matter the fight, the hits will come, and we know the greats within the Bible suffered the most. David persecuted and chased for 20 years a mark on his head bigger then the one for Han Solo. Jesus, well, we all know what happened to him. Paul, persecuted, tortured, shipwrecked, beaten, stoned twice, and he wrote some of the greatest books within the Bible. Job, well, Job had a sad story for sure, and yet he emerged victorious because of his faith to the Lord. What about our favorite comic book superhero’s? Pick the greatest of them and look into their back-story. Spiderman, lost his parents young, then his Uncle Ben was shot down on the street. His first real love, Gwen Stacy died awfully because he couldn’t save her. Batman, both parents killed as a child right in front of him. Matt Murdock, blinded as a child, and after a lifetime of training finally became Daredevil. Danny Rand, both parents killed, taken in by a bunch of hidden temple monks, beaten, and tortured as part of his training to eventually become the Iron Fist. Almost every superhero back-story will involve tons of pain and suffering.

For some people trauma can have a huge positive affect on their lives. This is of course after the trauma is faced and dealt with. In Psychology Today this is said “They found that, for many of these people, dealing with this trauma was a powerful spur for personal development. It wasn’t just a question of learning to cope with or adjust to negative situations; they actually gained some significant benefits from them. In Tedeschi and Calhoun’s terms, they experienced ‘positive life changes.’ They gained a new inner strength, and discovered skills and abilities they never knew they possessed. They became more confident and appreciative of life, particularly of the ‘small things’ that they used to take for granted. They became more compassionate for the sufferings of others, and more comfortable with intimacy, so that they had deeper and more satisfying relationships.” Some however have the opposite affect, and that they withdrawal, they become angry, they blame God, or disavow the existence of a higher power all together. The fact of the matter it doesn’t matter what the cause of the pain, it’s how we handle that will define us for the rest of the world to see. Do we want to be considered a strong, good person, or do we want to be considered weak and cruel?

 What does the bible say about getting back up? 2 Chronicles 15:7 “But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.” The good we do in the name of the Lord through our hearts and not for adulation will be brought back to us in the grace of the Heavens and we will be blessed for it. Galatians 6:9 “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” We don’t know how long our harvest will be, how long it will take to go through the fire, but we know, we are promised by God, our sufferings are not in vein. Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” When we are down and we feel like we just got the beating of a lifetime, that’s when we need to turn to God the most, that’s when we need to ask God to help us, take away the pain, help us through, because it’s in that pain that God wants us to be closer to Him, not draw back, not flee from God, but praise God, allow God to work in our lives, and show us our suffering isn’t for nothing.

No matter the pain, the hits, the suffering, the kicks, the fear, the attacks, God is always with us, we hurt, God hurts, we suffer, God suffers, and knowing our Savior is in the trenches with us fighting the fight, battaling to win the war, we can take comfort that in our greatest time of need God will provide, by gifts, but positive things, and sometimes the people put in our lives, but always in all things, God is with us, watching us, and loving us.

References:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/out-the-darkness/201111/can-suffering-make-us-stronger

Ready to Pounce

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Ready to Pounce

Recently after my surgery I was looking out at my youngest dog. He was sitting in the backyard perched tall, and proper, but I realize what he was doing, he was keeping a watchful eye for intruders. He has always done that no matter what yard he’s in. He will find a place to sit, and he’ll watch for anything he perceives as a threat. I started to think about the difference between predators and pray. We know this is the circle of life, and we know that in the wild life is often a wild card. When you watch movies or shows on animal planet, or discovery, Disney’s Earth day movies, or any other kind of wildlife documentary, we always see the hunt, the fight for survival. We as people, as human beings are gifted with intelligence and that’s what puts us at the top of the food chain. When we used our smarts to avoid being killed from a wild thing we skyrocketed to the top of the chain. We are inferior in so many other ways to our animal counterparts. A gorilla for instance could literally rip a person to shreds with its bare hands. Lions could devour us in a matter of seconds, and even a small spider like the black widow or brown recluse could kill a human with one or two bites. Death is inevitable for everyone, a certainty that no one but one has ever been able to overcome.

The Bible depicts Satan in many different ways, a roaring lion, a sly slithering serpent, and a monster from the deep. When the days of our lives move on as the sun rises and sets, where do you fit into the great circle of life? As a child one of my favorite movies was The Lion King. I loved the lions, and the idea of the circle, how nature kept itself in a delicate balance. When Scar took over Pride Rock the balance shifted and the entire eco system failed. The animal’s left, plants began to die off, and it became a desolate place. When we don’t take care of our lives we too can upset the balance and watch as our eco system falls to rubble. One bad day, one wrong choice, one selfish act can upset the delicate balance and can potentially destroy not only your own life, but the lives of those around you. Proverbs 6:16-19 “There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: 17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, 18 a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil,
19 a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.” The Devil pulls at us to fall within this passage. The Devil will tempt us, He will push us, He will put anyone in our path the try and get us to walk away from Christ. Further into Proverbs 6:20-35 “20 My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: 21 Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. 22 When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. 23 For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life: 24 To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman. 25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids. 26 For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adultress will hunt for the precious life. 27 Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? 28 Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned? 29 So he that goeth in to his neighbour’s wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent. 30 Men do not despise a thief, if he steal to satisfy his soul when he is hungry; 31 But if he be found, he shall restore sevenfold; he shall give all the substance of his house. 32 But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. 33 A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away. 34 For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance. 35 He will not regard any ransom; neither will he rest content, though thou givest many gifts.” Satan wants us to cheat on our spouses, He wants us to fall to jealousy, He wants us to commit murder, he wants us to give into the hate we try so hard to push out. It is in that moments when we become pray to the predator. We become weak and frail, and we loose our strength to stand and fight back. When we forsake our oaths, our promises, when our word no longer holds any merit because we’ve lied often, we’ve deceived many, and we’ve broken those closest to us, that’s when the great deceiver, the first fallen Angel, Lucifer Morningstar Himself, has grabbed a hold of you, and has tricked you into forsaking God in exchange for the pleasure of the flesh, the world, and you’ve become a petri-dish for sin to continue to metastasize because sin breeds sin.

For every broken marriage, for every broken bond, for every broken promise and oath, Satan wins by watching those God loves get hurt in so many different ways. The troubles we find ourselves in whether it be of our own doing, or that of something else, Satan is the puppet master and we who are weak allow Him to play us like marionettes. We do not have to be enslaved to sin if we choose to walk in the light of the Lord, but when we choose a life of sin, when we choose selfish desires, and our own wants over that which the Lord deems as good for us, we loose the freedom to break the bonds of sin, and instead hand over the controls to Satan. Sin can be an addiction. Once we start down the road of the feel good phase, we loose site of the fact just because it feels good, doesn’t mean it’s good for us.

For those who are walking in the darkness, allowing Satan to use you for evil purposes, it’s never too late to cut those strings and give the wheel back to God. You can never go so far that the road to redemption is blocked. God always gives us the choice to change our ways, always gives us the ability to make amends and right our wrongs. We can never be too far gone, or cause so much pain that God will turn His back on us, because that’s just not scriptural. If we are to consider ourselves true Christians, we must always choose scripture over what we want, even when it’s hard to do. I hear so often, someone doesn’t deserve forgiveness, or why would you let someone back into your life, or I’m not ready to forgive them just yet. I challenge anyone to show me in the Bible where it says forgiveness must be earned, must be worked for, must be given but only if certain criteria are met. Forgiveness is not an option, it’s not something that’s earned it’s something that we are scripturally told to do, because if we do not, we will not be forgiven by God. Giving forgiveness is mandatory, Colossians 3:13 “13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” We also see this passage in Matthew 6:14-15 “14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Don’t allow yourself to be used by the Devil. Fight the sin urges that come along. Love your spouses, love your siblings, and love your neighbors. Shower those around you with love even those whom are perceived to be an enemy. Love can and does concur all. Don’t allow yourself to worship false idols and don’t allow yourself to destroy homes by committing atrocious sins. Don’t let the Devil stalk you like helpless pray. Show the Devil you belong to the Lord, and in your every day walk with Jesus show the world where you stand. If someone sins do not pass judgment upon them, do not spread gossip, instead love them, pray for them, accept them with open arms, and lead them by Godly examples. God will bless those who are faithful, and God wants the fallen to be picked up and protected by Angels wings.

One Step Away by Casting Crowns.

It doesn’t matter how far you’ve gone, mercy says you don’t have to keep a running down the road you’re on.

Jesus died so we may live. His blood spilt so our sins would be forgiven and we could be redeemed. Live your life in a way that would be pleasing to God for a gift we could never deserve.

 

 

 

 

Content with Weaknesses

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Content with Weaknesses

I’ve been pondering the sunrise and what it means to me. I’ve been pondering what I’m supposed to learn and what I’m supposed to do. I’ve been pondering why I’m here, and what this situation can teach me. I ask God for guidance, for blessings. I have come to realize in my so many years of living that the blessings I may have gotten are not necessarily blessings I’ve come to realize are actually good things for me. As I’ve questioned all of this and now I’m 1 week after surgery I find myself in a very different place then I have been in the past. I’ve been looking at my scars I’ve accumulated and it’s hard not to travel down memory lane.

One year ago I was on a trip that would ultimately change my life forever. It would start a turn of events that would forever change and alter life as I knew it. I would loose my wife, I would nearly loose my life, I would loose my job, I would eventually loose my home, and in the end my body would finally give up, and give out, and thus where I am 10 months later. As I now find myself living with my mother something that hasn’t been for 17 years. It’s a change to get used to for sure. As I’m sure there are reasons for everything that’s happened it’s difficult to take a step back from how different things are, the hope that things could go back, and even sometimes pray they would. As I’ve become more familiar with the change that’s going on around me, and even in my yearning to not give in to the ever changing life around me, I believe I’m finally starting to succumb to the change, and as parts of me are excited for the change, other parts hold onto the past.

As I am now stranded and not allowed to drive, I can’t lift, and bend, and stretch. I don’t have my things unpacked, and as I’m looking at the future, the 5 weeks I have left seem like an eternity. I find some things I once enjoyed doing, now seem like so much work or effort I can’t seem to put my finger on why I no longer feel the enjoyment I used too. I find myself missing things I once had that now seem like such a past memory that I’m forgetting the finer things in life.

For 10 years I lived my life with the comfort of a woman in my life. For 10 years I knew the touch of love, the smell of perfume, and the feel of soft lips on mine. Being single now since September and having absolutely no luck in the dating seen, the online dating seen, or anywhere in between, I find myself more and more frustrated. I can hear my pastor now, “you’ve got to learn to be comfortable with yourself, and in God’s time you will be knocked off your feet by the blessings you’ll get when it’s the right time, and when you AREN’T LOOKING FOR IT!” Yes, yes, I hear you.

I’m sure the good Lord has something planned for me, whether I know or understand it myself, and the truth is that’s the defining feature of faith. We may not ever see the direction, the plan, the lessons, but knowing they are there and knowing that God is in the drivers seat.

While I cannot for the life of me fully understand how my life’s taken such a turn to mirror Job’s life, I must remain in the faithful that my life will one day be restored to a glorious state that I can look back on this last year and hold it up as a bad dream. While we never know what the sunrise will bring, what we know is there’s a greater plan then what we could possibly ever know.

One thing I’ve been forced to see and something I’ve struggled with especially after the way in which my marriage ended was my own self worth, my own self-esteem, why was I not loveable, why was I disposable, expendable. For months after I questioned myself, I thought so poorly of myself the bottom of the barrel was actually looking pretty high. I’ve prayed day in and day out that somehow, someway, I’d be able to move forward. What I have wanted may not be what’s best for me, but as I fractured into two people 10 months ago, there’s the man that was the past, and the man that was the future. That fractured self has been at war, at odds now for all that time, and the war still rages on, an internal fight for the very future and when I look into the mirror I don’t know who I’m looking at anymore. I question God every day and in all that time I still haven’t come up with the answers I seek. Did I not love enough? Did I hold on to tightly? Did I give too many freedoms? Was I too trusting? What I not trusting enough? Did I just grow old and wasn’t important anymore? What would cause so many in my life to leave me high and dry, quit on me, and leaves? Looking at the math I’ve questioned how 415 Facebook friends, an entire church, several friendships from other jobs who either have nurse friends or are married to nurse’s who work in larger hospitals, yet with all my connections, and 10 months later on several dating apps and reaching out myself I find myself no closer to finding a date or anyone that a legitimate relationship would be possible. After so long and so many failures it’s easy to start to question ones self.

No matter how much we start to doubt ourselves there’s something we should remember. In all things remember 2 Corinthians 12:5-10 “5 On behalf of this man I will boast, but on my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses—6 though if I should wish to boast, I would not be a fool, for I would be speaking the truth; but I refrain from it, so that no one may think more of me than he sees in me or hears from me. 7 So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations,[a] a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Do not be prideful, do not be afraid to look in the mirror and smile at the creation God made. I have to believe that while I am alone now, and have been for a while, there’s a reason. I have to believe that God’s perfect plan is to make things better for me. No matter the fractured self, in time that fracture will mend, and the scars that are left behind, and there are scars, will be a reminder of the life of old, and the future that remains, a fresh canvas in which to pain a new work of art for the glory of God.

 

Luke 4:18

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Luke 4:18

“18 The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,”

 No matter the state we find ourselves in, no matter the situation of the day, we know that the Lord is always with us. We know that in our walk we will face turmoil, we will face hardships that no man should ever see, we will see horrors and our lives will become nightmares of reality. The spirit, the holy ghost that fills the air with the presence of God. No matter what state I seem to find myself in, I am learning that my life seems to turn around when instead of complaining about it, I find someone I can preach the word too. While it doesn’t always make me feel better, it’s only a matter of time and things turn around for me.

Isaiah 61:1

“The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;”

The truth that rings from the sweet sounds of scripture, are truth to pass through the ages. What was truth in the Old Testament is truth in the New. The truth is we will always have hardships, and as soldiers for Christ we will always be the targets of the Devils attacks. Sometimes the attacks on the most faithful, the strongest of soldiers are the most hurtful. Look at Job for instance. Here’s a man who was faithful to the Lord, refused to rebuke the Lord even when everything he knew was ripped away from him. I propose what we do in our times of trouble are to reach deep into the word and pull out something we can use for each individual situation.

Sometimes helping others allows us to put our own lives, our own problems into perspective. It’s hard to see the forest through the trees, and we don’t always make the right decisions while on the ground. From a birds eye view the path seems clear, but when you’re the one running the labyrinth it can be a dark, scary, lonely place. When we are down and alone, as hard as it is, try to remember as much as it hurts to be on your own, feel the Holy Spirit with you, around you, in you, and know that you aren’t alone. Some days it may be harder to feel then others, and some days when the bitter, icy cold sleet hits you in the face, know that the shelter from the storm is only a word away.

Luke the Jedi to take out the Empire fought the fight under insurmountable odds and with the Force on his side immerged victorious. With the Force of God on our side we may get knocked down and our hands my get cut off by an evil Sith Lord but we always learn to get back up, and even if we have to take a major plunge of faith, we can find a way out. The path out can be shown to us by the Holy Ghost but it may not be what we think is should or could be. The path we may be led to walk might be littered with thistles and thorns but we can always pull out our own lightsaber and cut away what’s in our way. Allow God to guide you, and you too can make a difference.

God, protect me oh my Lord, give me the strength and guidance to continue to do good works. Allow me the strength to carry on and continue to fight the wiles of the devil. Give me the words to write, the message to spread, and continue to bless my family and me.