Lift up Don’t Tear Down

Lift up Don’t Tear Down

Brothers and sisters in Christ we have a commandment we often fall short on. John 13:34-35“34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” I have been listening to a song lately I know was not meant to be a Christian song, but I hear it as such. God Gave Me You, the version I have is Dave Barnes. “God Gave me you for the ups and downs.” When I think of who that is I think of Christ. I know that Christ above all else is there for me no matter what situation I’m in, where I am, or how far off the path I’ve gotten. Something I’ve struggled with as of late is how individuals have been treating me. I have had several friends turn their backs on me, and walk away for one reason or another. I have put a lot of thought and self-reflection as to why that might be. I often think back to Job. As Job looses everything one by one he asks his good buddies to come over to his house. We all want to be around people to just lean on when things are tough. We expect our friends to help us bare our crosses, help us get through. When you’re single you expect your friends to get you out of the house. When you’re grieving for the loss of loved ones you expect your friends to be there as a shoulder to cry on. We expect people to be there for us not just because we feel it’s the right thing to do, but it’s actually what they are supposed to do. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.” Why is this so difficult for some to do?

I know a doctor trained in Dialectible Behavior Therapy, and I asked why as a people do we focus so much on the negative rather then the positive. The answer was fairly straight forward, she said, our brains have a natural response to negative because that’s what keeps us alive. The negative actions stand out because it goes against the grain. Driving along going home you pass by a dozen cars doing the right thing, but then a car cuts you off. You won’t remember the 12 cars doing the right thing, that 1 car however will be what stands out. The more I thought about what she said the more it made sense.

I have been using Facebook lately to spread the word of this blog. I post once or twice a day, and as I have felt my blog has been doing well, I’ve noticed amongst my Facebook friends it’s not really picked up. I went about 2 months without posting anything except the auto post of my blog. I had a rough day and I posted something about manners, how some people will just leave you high and dry and how rude I felt that was. My page exploded with angry posts about how people are busy, and I shouldn’t be shaming my friends, and how I should keep those types of posts to myself. I was in shock to see such feedback. I post some beautiful pieces of writing, highly uplifting, and scripturally based, and I don’t get more then maybe 1 thumb up 4-5 if I’m truly lucky. Of all things to get noticed this one factual and understandable frustration gets all the attention. I thought to myself, what about everything else I’ve done? The fact is that it matters to the people who read it, and those who don’t see only what they want to see.

Love is harder then hate. Thinking positive is harder then negative, and those who do think positive have to work harder. If it’s true that our brains are naturally wired to focus on the negative things for whatever reason, being negative is the easy way out. Learning to focus on God, and do Gods will is a difficult road. As many of my so called friends have abandoned ship, I find it interesting that they do so when I fully devote my life to Jesus. It seems my life is going through a process of cleansing, weeding out those who are of little use to my ministry. The ones left in my life will be the ones who’ve helped me bare my cross when it was too heavy to carry. We must learn to walk with patience and love for our brothers and sisters who’ve yet to realize the true power of the Holy Spirit. The Cross is heavy for us all to bare and for some the cross can be so heavy we collapse under the weight of it. We have to have more patience with our loved ones, and understand that how we treat someone when they are going through a hard time is going to be remembered. How do you want to be treated with your life is in shambles? Make the choice to lift up your neighbors and help them in their time of need. No they may not take your advice, but if you just offer an ear, just be there to let them know you care, that itself will go a long way. We aren’t always there to fix their problems, often just to be a listening post, and a shoulder. Be kind because it only takes a moment without hope to watch the candle be extinguished. Remind people by your actions that good people still exist. Remind them that love is still stronger then hate. And if you ever have a problem you just can’t carry, lean on me.

Finding Happiness

Finding Happiness

This seems to be a pursuit that most people are on for the vast majority of their lives. It’s strange how hard it is. We often look for happiness in items, in trinkets or people. I have always struggled with this aspect of my life. Even when I have everything I could ever need, I am always looking towards the horizon. I guess a part of me always felt to be happy meant to be improving my situation, making more friends, finding more people to talk to, always building my marriage. I guess I could have been considered to be Debby Downer for at least a good portion of the time. What is it I was seeking I wonder, what was it that kept me looking for more? The truth is there was something missing in my life, Jesus. When I realized I hadn’t given myself up to the Lord, not completely, by the time I did it was too late, my life, as I had known it was over. I put so much into my worldly possessions, my wife, my home, my job, and my friends, that in one big event, my very foundation cracked and toppled my own personal city. The changes in my life would be abrupt and violent. They would reshape my personal universe and it would never be the same again.

What’s the trick though to finding that happy place? In Peter Pan it’s finding a happy memory, one memory that stands out of pure joy to hold on to. Even in the midst of so much pain and anguish we are surely able to come up with something. One thing I’ve found is we place so much on the world, that we forget this isn’t the end. Sure we don’t want to be miserable day in and day out either, but it’s more about the mission, the journey, the race, then it is about today. When we change our mindset to the present, the mission Jesus gave to us, and we take heed to the lessons Christ taught us and the teaching of the disciples, we will find that happiness is rejoicing in the Lord and the Lord alone. There will be trouble but in that trouble we can use those times to show the kind of person we are. We can make those horrible situations into a teaching lesson for others, and show how God wants us to behave even when the odds are stacked against us, even when their looks to be no worldly hope, because to say there’s no hope is a lie. There were many times when King David had the odds stacked against him, but it was through the grace of God that he emerged victorious. Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” It’s not an easy thing to be content when you’re in suffering. It’s harder to find happiness in the midst of want and destruction. Philippians 4:11 “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” Human nature is to want and want more, want what we can’t have, and often take what we want even if it’s not ours to have.

2 Timothy 3:1-7 “3 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.” When we go through life taking what we want no matter the consequences we find ourselves destroying the very fabric of order in the world. I was recently the victim of something like this. With no limit to the amount of pain one feels when something near and dear to them is taken away, alas the pain is more when it’s done so by more then one party. The sad truth is greed and desires of the worldly flesh now resonate with the world. Paul Harvey did a report on ‘If I was the Devil.” During this little expo he noted that if he was the Devil he’d convince the world that drugs are okay, that swinging is more fun, that hard work is no longer the wave of the future.

I think the pursuit of happiness falls within each moment. I believe that to truly find it you need to learn to change your mindset away from the pain and suffering and embrace them. How we embrace our pain is hard. How we find contentment even in the center of the worst storms we may face is never an easy task. For every situation however there must be at least something that is positive, there must be at least some light at the end of the tunnel. We often spend so much time focused on the negative part of a tough spot that we fail to look at the positive situations and be thankful for them. For me this has been a long hard struggle and I am by no means perfect at this, but everyday I try to work towards this goal. Am I happy every day and do I find joy in my sufferings, of course not. But what I do find is a little bit of peace knowing that God is in control over everything I am going through, and when others hurt me, or forsake me, I know that God has not. People will say and do mean things to you for a variety of reasons, each more plausible as the next. As much as it hurts that trust and loyalty may be broken, know that through this situation you will learn, you will grow, and you can make your tomorrow a better place. When a forest grows to big purging fires must take place in order for the forest to grow back and regain some of what was lost. Our lives it seems are much in the same. Sometimes we must let go of the baggage that weighs us down. We must learn to let go of people who are always bringing us down. Now, I will say this, when I say bringing us down, I don’t mean people who are going through rough times. What I mean by that is when people actively say things to you to bring you down, or are negative and hurtful. If someone is not actively trying to be there for you, to lift you up, to help you get out of the hole you’re in, those are the people you don’t need around anymore.

Don’t fall victim to your own pain, don’t let your pain or your own struggles from finding the happy places in your life. When we truly embrace and accept that bad things will happen, and truly embrace the fact that God is sovereign we can let go of many of the pessimistic views we once held. We all loose friends, we all loose our jobs, our families, our loved ones; it’s a matter of life following its natural evolution. Be glad for the positive things you can take out of your memories, and cast away the sorrows. Don’t let life pass you by in misery; it’s too short to do so. Don’t be a slave to this world. Don’t let the world dictate who you are. The world cannot define you, only you can do that. You have the power to show the people around you how you handle each situation, and in every case you are the only one who can show who you are. As one of my favorite quotes go, “It’s not who I am underneath, it’s what I do that defines me.” (Batman Begins)

 

The Fallen

The Fallen

Riding into battle with swords raised the cavalry charged. For freedom they fight, or so they say, the brothers beside is why they stay. No ribbons, no parade, no heroes welcome, just a quiet house. The ones who live survive with guilt, the battle rages and never sleeps. The truth in the horrors are no fiction to see.

The fallen we miss and tears we cry. The family’s loss will leave them empty inside. The truth is held, but few will hear. The fallen at peace, the end was there. The memories are trapped for those who remain he love and loss for those who were slain.

We grill the food, and drink the beer, the music and friends to gather around. Let’s not forget the ones who are gone. John 15:13 “13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” We remember the fallen and the families left behind. The ones who hold the nightmares of the lost remember them as well. Pray for them and never forget.

War is hell and never leaves those who experience it. ‘Only the dead have seen the end of war’ Plato. Pray for peace, and pray for comfort. Pray for the remembrance of and pray for resolute to support. What does it mean to give up ones life for his friends? Mark 10:45 “45 For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.” We were held captive by our sins. We were forever hopeless until the sacrifice of Christ for all of us. The price of eternal salvation was a steep one. Romans 5:6-8 “6 For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. 8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

 If we have no hope in our lives what do we fight for? The question begs for the answers. Where does our compass point if there is not moral judgments that are cement. When anything is based on societies rules, which change through the generations, what do we fight for? If there is nothing to hope for then why give up anything for anyone else? Christ gave us hope. The promise of God to eternal salvation was paid for in full. Hope was then restored to all of us. Matthew 16:24-26 “24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. 25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. 26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?” Today we celebrate the fallen and remember that they fought and died for what the believed in. The freedoms of this country have been paid for at a high price. Don’t let those lives have died in vein.

Surrender ones self to the Lord and you shall live. When we surrender to something higher then ourselves we let go of our selfish wants, we may live and actually live, and for the ones who’ve died we live. We live with the horrors and nightmares from war. We remember what it takes to keep and maintain peace. Let us never forget.

Please Don’t Judge Me For My Yesterday, Judge Me For My Today

Please Don’t Judge Me For My Yesterday, Judge Me For My Today

Matthew 7:1-2 “Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.” We make judgments all the time about people if we mean to or not. There are lots of different types of judgments we may encounter every day. We use judgments because they are shortcuts in life. She’s crazy is a judgment. That’s an awesome job is also a judgment. One of the things we often do is hold onto judgments of people. We condemn them to be whatever we judge them as forever.

Why are we creatures of such negativity? We are negative because it’s the opposite of love. We choose to see the negative because it’s easier. You’re driving home from work and the trip goes great, couple people let you in, and not an issue. Same scenario but instead 3 people cut you off and make you slam the breaks. How long will you be bothered by the second version, best guess is at least a while. If someone makes a mistake they are more likely to have that check against them and it would be more prevalent then if that person has a line fun of positive things. Sadly for many it seems, we are doomed to never escape our mistakes or shortcomings.

In my life I’ve made some huge mistakes, and it seems the memories of people is considerably longer then I remember it being. No matter how far we’ve come since then someone will always hold that mistake against you. No matter how much good you do, or how much positivity in your life, someone will always remember that 1 bad time, especially if it’s a big one. God wants us to forgive and move on. God doesn’t want us to judge one another. Luke 6:37 “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:” When we hold someone accountable for a mistake in our personal lives, and no matter what they do they can’t get out from under it, you are not truly forgiving them.

Sadly people won’t let go of the past. People won’t biblically forgive you. This message isn’t really for those who have lived a perfect life, it’s for the ones who’ve made mistakes, the ones who’ve sinned and pray every day for forgiveness of it. The Devil wants us to fracture our relationship with God. Sometimes the Devil will try to attack us directly by pulling on our sinful desires, but when they fail the Devil tries the only other trick there is, attack us through our loved ones. Life gets tough sometimes and when it does that’s when we need the Armor of God more so then ever. I was told something for a long time. “Life’s tough, get a helmet.” That’s the truth and when we think of our helmet we know there is such a helmet we can don. Ephesians 6:17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:” We cannot let the Devil inside our heads. We cannot fall pray to self pity, doubts, self loathing, self esteem problems, all of these things are the Devil manipulating you. Protect that brain bucket, by protecting it from all the incoming shrapnel the Devils tossing at as. The Devil will turn your friends on you, you will loose people you care about, you will be lied to, you will be forever reminded of the mistake you try so hard to forget. You continue to wear that armor and never let the Devil inside your head.

Don’t listen to the lies of the Devil. Don’t let anyone hold you back from being on the right path with Christ. When we repent of our mistakes we are forgiven and it’s in the past. 1 Corinthians 13:5 “Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;” Thinketh no evil to me means two things. 1st is it doesn’t keep score of the wrong your partner has done. 2nd is it doesn’t plot of doing wrongful things, i.e. adaultry for the one you love. Don’t let someone else keeping score bring you down. You will suffer long as a Christian, you will suffer for doing the right thing. If our Lord and Savior suffered at the hands of the cross, what little suffering we go through seems insignificant to that of an innocent lamb who was sacrificed for me.

It’s hard to be kicked when you’re down. When you loose something you cherished, and then over time you loose one friend after another, just remember the suffering of Job. At the end even his friends rebuked him blaming him for his own crucible. Remember it’s easier to recount the bad then the good. Have faith in the Word of God and when you are suffering, when you feel like all your friends are turning their backs on you, know that God won’t.

A prayer to my Lord.

Lord, please forgive me for my transgressions. Please release me of my guilt and allow me to fully repent for my wrongdoing. Lord please bless me with friends who will understand and who will stand by me, but if they don’t, pray for them. Know they no not what they do. Lord you are the only one who can Judge me. Lord please shield me from the Devils tricks and lies. Lord please bless those who come to my aid when I am that stranger on the road. Lord please allow my armor to protect me in all ways from the attacks of the Deceiver. Lord bless my loved ones, my friends, my neighbors. Lord grant me peace in my time, grant me a time of bliss when it suits your time. Lord give me the grace of understanding and patience to your masterpiece of a plan which is my life. Lord please allow my transgressions to be within short term memory of those who would use it against me. Let me therefore be judged in the actions I do today, and not those of the past. Allow people to see the man I am now, and not which I was before. Amen

 

 

 

We’ll Cross That Bridge When We Get There 

We’ll cross that bridge when we get there
You get to a bridge covered in fog. You can’t see the other side and you question to cross or not. You turn back and look at where you came from. The knots inside your stomach, the pounding in your chest, do you cross or go back to where you know? Where you came from is familiar, loyalty, family both blood and and Christ. Across the bridge is the unknown. There might be endless opportunities through the fog. There’s at least one friend somewhere over yonder deep in the dark abyss of the unknown.
Fear can be a powerful motivator, for many that fear response is what can keep us alive. For some however it can be debilitating. Do not let fear control you. Let fear tell you when you’re in try danger, but never hold back from Gods path because you’re afraid. No matter what lies and the devil will tell you, the leap of faith, knowing God will catch you, knowing if it’s the right path God will not lead you astray.
We always want to plan. We always want to know all the details. The problem with that is the idiom ‘the devils in the details’. If we have faith in God we don’t have to have every minute detail hashed out. If you are following Gods path and plan, God will move many of the obstacles out of your way. The key to that is wait until you get to the bridge. How often do we plan every detail and we haven’t reached the bridge to cross yet? No matter the situation you find yourself in know that when you are following the word, behaving as God commands of His children, bad things will still happen, but you will continue to be blessed along the way.
Don’t let the bridge be a way to escape. You cannot run from your problems. Face your trials like an adult, face them with grace and distinction. I promise you whatever waits for you through the fog on the other side will be just as bad or worse. Having to retake the test is never pleasant. Have the fortitude to bow graciously in your mistakes, do not be prideful in your successes, and always journey with Love in you and as a companion. Behave as if Christ is always next to you. Think about Christ standing next to you at the base of that Bridge. Pray the fog be lifted to see clearly what’s on the other side. Pray for guidance. Pray for comfort and peace. With Christ by your side, reflect on how you would behave if He was with you at work, in the car next to you, in the room during an argument. Let Christ be with you always in your walk. Psalm 32:8 “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.” We cannot allow ourselves to focus on everything around us. We must learn to focus on the present and be there not the past, not the future. Proverbs 4:25 “Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.”

We may not know the future or our paths to take, but silence your mind, silence the world. Pray for guidance and wisdom. Pray to let go of selfish wants and pray for clarity of the journey that it would be pleasing to God. Finding yourself in the fog at the foot of that bridge, step out into faith and trust that your path will be cleared if it is your way. Though, do not confuse lessons to be learned with roadblocks. Turn to God and let go of fear. Look to God who will guide you like that lighthouse bringing you to safety. Each step you take is one step closer to God. Have faith.

The Search For a Unicorn

The Search For a Unicorn 

Have you ever considered what you may be looking for or hoping for just isn’t out there? Waiting it seems is a constant throughout the world, one that we all despise but all must learn to live with. Some of us do this with more flair then others, some of us do this poorly. What is it about waiting we don’t like. Speaking from experience I don’t like to wait for long. I think I have a bit longer then some, but far shorter fuse then others. I’m not as short as to say I am a part of the instant gratification group, but I don’t think I’m that far off either. I’ve heard a great many people tell me I need to be patient, I need to just give it time, I need to stop looking because when you stop that’s when what you will show up, when you least expect it too.

 

It’s been 8 months of healing, of recovery, of self-reflection, life reflection, and rebuilding. 8 months may not seem like a lot to some people, but to me it’s been an eternity. My particular situation has been of isolation (not entirely by choice) and loneliness. I have found that the quiet of the house isn’t as bad as it used to be. Early in the process I felt as if I would never again be happy, that I would never again see the light at the end of the tunnel, but as time moved on, and I continued to breathe, wake up in the morning, and go about my day to day responsibilities the loneliness became a bit more tolerable. Fast forward 8 months, and that forward momentum and progress seems to be slowing down. Now 8 months later as I’ve continued to improve myself, spending more time in my Bible, making new friends (albeit internet friends) I find myself struggling to find tangible friendships, or even, the ever elusive date.

 

Dating it seems has become something of a skilled endeavor. I was listening to K-Love the other day and they said that the number 1 way to meet new members of the opposite sex for dating was still the old fashioned way, through mutual friends. The number 2 way was now online dating. The online dating world isn’t news to me. As I found early on in my 8 month journey my friends in this instance weren’t likely to provide any fruit. So I turned to the online dating apps and as I am now moving into my 8 month mark, I can safely say I have very little to show for it. The results of 8 months’ worth of exploration has been a few online friends, but nothing that has led to dating. I have estimated sending out over a thousand messages of greetings over several dating platforms, and sadly have come up with the big bubkus. Why has it been so difficult to find even a single date? As I have continued to reflect on this I haven’t been able to come up with very many reasons, and most of the reasons aren’t looking too favorable for myself as far as self-esteem is concerned. Is it me? Is it my looks, or my approach? For the vast majority of my life, my looks have been something of a rough topic for me. All my years I was told I wasn’t handsome enough, and many have gone further to say I’m just plan ugly. While I don’t strictly think this is true, I have come to the mindset that I am not all that attractive in the grand scheme of things. This however doesn’t prevent me from trying. I have not reclused myself and given up hope. The next possibility is that God doesn’t want me to right now. As this line of thought brings up a dozen questions, the basic answer is, it doesn’t matter. God’s design is far beyond our understanding and thus the rest is just a formality.

 

I have put lots of thought into the last part of that and have questioned why God wouldn’t want me to date. Could it be that there hasn’t been 100% resolution between me and my ex? Could it be because where I’m living isn’t where I’m meant to be? Could it be that I am somehow not ready for something, someone else to come along? It seems my search for a companion, or even just a friend to go out and spend time with has become a hunt for the elusive unicorn. As I have now been the victim of, or rather the survivor of 2 horrible affairs leading to being treated horribly in divorce, I now question if the person out there for me is there, or some mysterious unicorn that I may spend a lifetime looking for.

 

There are several verses I consider when I think about the amount of time I’ve had to wait and it seems still have to wait. 2 Samuel 5:4 “David was thirty years old when he became king, and he reigned forty years.” David was promised the throne early in life. He waited nearly 20 years before God gave to him what was promised. Romans 12:12 “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” We struggle with this concept, especially in America because of everything we have to receive instant gratification. Romans 8:25 “But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” No matter how long we wait, we must understand there is purpose to it. There is purpose to our waiting, to our suffering, to or tribulations, but in that we can always have faith that God will never forsake us, and God always hears our prayers and knows our suffering. Philippians 4:6 ”Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” We may think but God already knows what we want, knows our hearts, knows our desires, knows our suffering, and while that is true, the concept here is prayer. We must always pray, always keep that line of communication open with God. You may not always feel as if God is listening, but He is. We may not always hear our path, but no matter what we think or feel, God is right there next to us.

 

It’s a hard concept for sure, and one I myself have daily struggles with. When life is going well and it seems we have everything we want it’s easy to move along and forget about anything about our joy. It’s in our struggles we wish for more, we wish for the time of suffering to be as little as possible. Sure, no one likes to be miserable or hurting especially when it’s matters of the heart. The only thing we can do is keep trying, keep moving forward, and never allow the Devil to influence us to take the easy way out. Instant gratification is not the prescription for long term relief. In fact, that instant gratification will likely be the cause of more hardships later on in life. Keep moving forward, keep praying to God, and if you’re like me, if you’re lonely and you feel as if your loneliness will never go away, have faith, and someday your prince, or princess will come. Your unicorn may seem like a myth right now, but keep your ear to the ground, and your faith strong with Christ, and some day, your fairytale will come true.

Through the Wilderness

Through the Wilderness

We trek and we wander, but do we ever know what we are looking for, what we are hoping for? The life of a broken man the pains the suffering are only a part of the trials. A man of dignity will slow down and in times of trouble ask God for direction. A man will be calm in the storm, cool in the fire, strong when others are weak. A true man will be a leader when times call for it. The never-ending supply of love and guidance from God will always get the faithful through the toughest of situations.

In a lot of early tribes a boy was placed in the wilderness and tested to survive. This test of bravery, intuition, resourcefulness, and a will to survive is what they determined a man. Today, we no longer have these rights of passage. A boy turns 18 and poof, he’s a man. No test of bravery, of skills, just an age. Sadly today, we call a man, a man, but often, they don’t act like a man, but a boy instead.

Today a male will lay with a female and when she gets pregnant the boy will leaver her high and dry. Being able to make a child does not make you a man, taking care of your responsibilities, being a father to your child, that’s what makes you a man.

Sometimes bad things happen, and sometimes people make bad choices. Even when there is a difference of opinion, or a falling out, how you move forward how you behave in the day-to-day decisions will tell the world the type of people you are. I asked a friend yesterday in fact, “In our life, how often does someone view us as the villain in our story?” I find that to be an interesting conundrum. A matter of opinion, perspective can change how someone is viewed. I am of firm belief that when the majority sides with you you’re probably doing it right. What do we do when we are tested, when we are baited to stoop to someone’s level, how will we manage the temptation. It’s easy to let selfishness, greed, wants and self gratification take over and drive you from decision to decision.

I never imagined seeing the downward spiral so closely in my life. The evil deeds of someone can easily come about anytime. It’s a hard balance to know the monster from within can surface at any time. It’s so important to maintain a sense of dignity and Christian moral values in times of stress and distress. Proverbs 6:12-16 “A worthless person, a wicked man, goes about with crooked speech, winks with his eyes, signals with his feet, points with his finger, with perverted heart devises evil, continually sowing discord; therefore calamity will come upon him suddenly; in a moment he will be broken beyond healing. There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him:” God does not approve of evil or wicked actions. Ecclesiastes 12:14 “For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.”

 Some day you and all will have to answer for your sins. Each and every thought, every action, will be accounted for at the Day of Judgment. When you are standing before God and you realize you’ve done wrong that is too late. You must repent prior to death. Acts 3:19 “Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out,” No one is free from knowing their sins and doing the sinful nature anyway. “17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.” Time on earth is finite. We never know how long we have, but if we wait till our dying breath, saying you’re sorry isn’t the same as repenting. Repenting is actually changing behavior. One of my best friends and my Pastor put it this way, “Anyone can say they are sorry and mean it to a degree. Repentance is an action in which you take steps specifically to right the wrong that was committed to the best of your ability. I can say I’m sorry I broke your Arrow Funko Pop. Repentance is replacing it with a new one plus Slade, and specifically not breaking something else of yours again.” (Rev. Glen Newsome, Jr.) How many times have you or someone you know apologized and went right on doing the same behavior they just said they were sorry for? In time that ‘sorry’ no longer means as much as it once had.

Sadly, as we find our way through the wilderness of life we must learn to grow into manhood, womanhood, but also grow in our faith and live our lives as good faithful Christians. No matter the hurt someone places on you, forgiveness is not optional. It doesn’t matter if there is an apology or repentance. Forgiveness is something we are told we must do and do with all our hearts. Never forget that.

Tighten

Why am I still standing here? Being called out is something not for the weak. So many times in our lives are we afraid of change, afraid of the future, afraid we aren’t good enough, afraid we did something wrong to deserve the pain and suffering were going through. What kind of faith does it take to walk to the top of that mountain? What kind of faith does it take to run into danger? What kind of faith does it take to take that punch and stand back up? There will be obstacles that laugh at us, that try to hold us down, hold us back, but the truth is God is with us, God is for us, and it’s our choice to let God be in our corner. We have been given the greatest gift, Love. The first place to start is to love Jesus Christ. Then it’s to love ourselves, and then once we learn how to love ourselves we love our neighbors. Have the faith to move that mountain, have the faith to step out into the storm, have faith to fight that giant in front of you. Tighten up that armor, put that helmet on straight, and hold that shield tight. You can change the world with one testimony at a time. veni vidi vici

Impromptu Revelations

Impromptu Revelations

As I was reading another blog post I found myself searching inside myself for the question she asked in her blog. As I began to reply to her post, I found myself coming to a few realizations I hadn’t put into words. As my life has been one battle after another since my tragic day in September, I have found I am both stronger, and more stable then I ever have been. It’s strange how that one day has changed my life so much. I don’t know what would have happened if that day had never happened, but I know for sure that the storm clouds were still billowing off the horizon. The time for preparation had passed. The truth was coming whether I wanted to hear it or not. My life was never going to be the same. This particular course made a lifetime of tragedy become a reality. Countless years of running, of hiding from the pain would no longer stay buried. The truth could no longer be tucked away and pretend as if it didn’t exist. Yes that day hurt many, that day perhaps destroyed relationships that maybe, could have been saved in time. Regardless of the past, the present is here and the truth is now that Jesus’s love saved me. My path is always fluid, always changing, but my faith in God is resolute. My faith in God is no longer based on the good things in life, the blessings I had been given. Once upon a time I believed that my Ex Wife was my blessing, a gift given to me by God because of years of suffering and keeping my faith. When that relationship was leaving I begged God to tell me what I had done wrong. I begged God why I was being punished. The revelation came when I realized it wasn’t God doing these things. It was free will, it was human sin that would cause the biggest change in my life. Now today I am on a new path, a new road and though I don’t know where I’m going, I know that by the night’s sky and God’s Devine intervention, I will reach my place.

Ever since my recovery last September I have been listening to KLove every day. As time moved on I was drawn to a particular song. As time moved on another song would take its place, then another, then another. It seemed as if I was being told something by God Himself. The first song Eye of the Storm by Ryan Stevenson. This reminded me that as dark as the sky gets and we feel like tomorrows sun will never shine, God is the anchor and will keep up safe in any storm. No matter if our friends and family have sold us out or forsaken us, God will never do that. The Next song that came up was One Step Away by Casting Crowns. As I entered the phase of wanting to go back to take it away, remove it from history and as I realized I would never be able to do that, God’s love was always there. It never mattered how far I went, as long as I was still breathing, I could change my course. My Ghost could be left in the past. One step from surrender, one step from Arms wide open. After that came What if I Gave Everything also by Casting Crowns. I realized my whole life I’d been running from my calling. All my life I felt like I wasn’t living up to my own potential. Why was I still standing there, why was I holding back from God. I then realized in order for me to finally find my own happiness I was going to have to let go. I was going to have to uproot my feet from the deep mud, and in my faith, step out onto that ledge, move that mountain, and venture away from my own comfort zone and trust, finally with all my heart, with all my soul, trust. The final song in my journey was Voice of Truth again by Casting Crowns. I had been told so many lies my whole life. I was told I wasn’t attractive enough, not strong enough, not fast enough. I was told I wouldn’t survive basic training. I was told I would never amount to anything. I believed them. I fought through basic and proved them wrong. This was one victory out of many I would let the lies fuel. The Voice of Truth would eventually tell me I was good enough, I would be fast enough when I needed to be. The Voice of Truth would tell me someone out there will love me for me. I will be good enough for the right person. The Devil’s lies had gotten ahold of me, and only when the time was right, I would be able to fight back. When i finally understood, finally let go of my own fears and I choose to listen to that voice in my head, the voice in my heart, the voice in my soul. In one foul swoop the Devil grabbed a hold of me and I nearly lost my life. I nearly fell into the Web Satan sets for us, and I nearly lost my life to that wretched spider. Instead I found Gods love, I found Gods grace as I was saved from the brink of death. I believe in the Son, the Holy Spirit, I believe I overcome by the power of his blood I was saved. I’m alive because He Lives. (Because He Lives, By Matt Maher). It took my whole life to find my place under Gods wing, and now I look for my place in this world. I have accepted my roll as a warrior for Christ, now I must seek my physical place. I have faith that God will provide the path when the time is right. I believe God’s grace will not leave me now. I believe in the power of prayer, and the power of Godly counsel.

Way Down in The Valley

Way Down in The Valley

Way down in the valley I heard a mighty rawr, that rawr I hear is the lion, the lion of lions, the king of kings. I’ve been in the valley several times. I’ve been down where evil lays, the valley of death, the valley of darkness. We never know when we may slip into that valley, but when we do, finding our way out, who do we call?

When the darkness of death surrounds us, when we are at the height of despair who do we turn to? No matter how deep in the trenches you’re in, there’s always a path back to safety. When we’re in trouble we call 911. We rely on our emergency responders from the dispatchers that take the call to the paramedics and first responders, the law enforcement, and fire fighters that risk their safety to ensure our own. The emergency responders are rarely respected as they should be, and often go without the thanks they deserve. Our military run head long into danger and face the evils of this world, and do so, so our families can sleep safely at night. Psalm 23:4 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”

We all know the Psalm, we have all heard it time and again. I’ve seen war, and I’ve seen death. I myself have faced the valley and traveled down its treacherous slopes many times. I’ve heard the sound of the trumpets of war as the end was near. The protection of the Angels wings would shield me and protect me in the midsts of danger. The fact that war is dangerous, the valley of death is not only dangerous by traditional means, there are many traps and pitfalls that await us. The part of Psalm 23’s  verse that is sadly not heard often of is Psalm 23:1-3 “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.” It isn’t just about the Valley we fight in, it’s about the peace of mind that God is with us even in the midst of battle.

Revelations 21:4 “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” The followers of Christ will have sanctuary in Heaven. If you are not, the future doesn’t look so bright. Revelation 21:8 “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

No matter the fear, or the sorrow we face, know that God is always with us. Our choices may be difficult, and we may not always know the direction to take, but it is in these moments we must seek Godly counsel and find our path. Every time I was close to death, or I found myself under attack, I knew that God was with me. I could feel God’s presence, and I knew that I had the protection of the Angels around me. In those moments of terror, it is then you know how far your faith will take you. It is then my belief would become unwavering. As I found myself feeling eerily calm, and the fear was near non-existent, the only thing I could think of was God protecting me. When danger is staring us in the face, stair back with conviction knowing that God is with you, always.